Grid Effect

It has been redundant for a season or two now, but the emotional patterns and developments of the characters on Nip Tuck are yawn worthy at this point. We didn’t explore any new territory this week. None. And halfway through the episode it dawned on me: the only reason I am still tuning in is for the benefit of this website. So I hope someone is enjoying these recaps.

Sean is, again, depressed that his wife has left him. With her, Abby and Connor in New York, Matt going on a Scientology cruise with Kimber and Christian going to Moscow with Michelle, Sean is in trying everything he can too maintain his sanity. Anyways, Sean, through a series of encounters, reluctantly befriends a homeless man with a drinking problem named Reefer. When our new guest character calls Sean out on his internal and external sadness, Sean develops his own uncontrollable bout with alcoholism. He works on a patient while inebriated and gives her an orgasm on the process, lashes out Christian (Sean feels abandoned by him), plays a Santa at the mall and gets a blow job from one of the midget elves in the back (This series is really fixated on little people in its fourth season). It goes without saying, this was the greatest two days of his life.

But, for whatever reason, he remains depressed and when again running into Reefer on the beach late at night, they have a very intimate discussion, where Reefer manages to dissuade Sean into homelessness. As a result, Sean invites him into his office to fix the broken nose he received from a bumfight. Subsequently, Sean invites him over to his house the following day and allows him to spend the night at the office.

Michelle was hesitant to take in Wilbur when Christian introduced the prospect. But upon meeting the kid she just couldn’t resist the bundle of joy and agrees to help in the child rearing, this cancels their trip to Moscow. Of course, James The Woman is still staying at McNamara/Troy, and the police are setting up shop with cameras and the full nine after Escobar sent them a Christmas ham.

James The Woman, on Christmas eve, gets a threatening call from the least convincing mob of any ethnicity in television and film history (short of Christian Slater in Mobsters). And they need organs! Now! Conveniently enough, there are no other patients at the office, except for Sean’s new best friend, Reefer. She coerces the hesitant Reefer into a drink which of course is laced with that television drug that makes its victims pass out instantaneously.

If you are a regular viewer of the show, then you know what happens next. If not, then you should understand that James The Woman has one of her surgeon-whore’s remove every single organ from this guys body, and of course they show whats left of his carcass lying on the operating table. Needless to say it exemplifies why I no longer enjoy watching Nip Tuck. She calls Michelle to assist in the “clean up”, and the two carry his remains in “gift bags” with James The Woman in a Santa’s outfit, which makes no sense. Anyways, the security guards on staff for the Escobar ham inquire as to what the hell the two women are doing, you know, because its so fucking bizarre. Naturally, they ask a few generic questions and send them off without checking the gift bags. At least they don’t film Michelle and James The Woman slicing up the cadaver.

Really everything, and I mean everything in this episode was sensationalized. From Sean’s downward spiral, too Christians elation, too James The Woman’s heinousness to Michelle’s sadness; there is nothing a viewer could potentially miss or have to think about. Its just about the least challenging series I have committed myself to since I turned twelve.

One thing I am curious about is, won’t Sean figure out that Reefer was murdered? Clearly he was anticipating spending Christmas with the downtrodden fellow (he offered him suits!). If James The Woman claims he left, wouldn’t that seem suspicious? And wouldn’t the guards have seen him? I guess since there are only two episodes left in this dismal season, I suppose this will contribute to enlightening our two protagonists.

Back with links, Survivor and Office recaps tomorrow. Cheers.

With two weeks in between episodes of a new series, remembering character names can be a real pain in the ass. Anyhow, I only caught the tail end of the pre-credits scene of Friday Night Lights yesterday. In that fragment of a clip, staying in the vein of film/television formalities: the girlfriend (Lyla) was physically consoling (reassuring) her mentally tormented boyfriend (Street) that she never cheated on him (she did). So I think I got the gist.

This week, Smash is still on the steroid/performance enhancing hunt, only to come across this amazonian woman straight out of the “if I had testicles, no one would be surprised” variety. She wants something to the tune of $1,200 for the pills, syringes, injections and whatever else. When he asks him mom for the money (for SAT courses), obviously clueless that $1,200 for his family would be a heavy financial burden, she tells him to “study the old fashioned way”. Obviously Smash is being unrealistic, if he was that good university boosters would be throwing steroid money at him.

He decides to take up working at Matt Saceran’s fast food joint. When Matt catches him stealing money out of the register one morning, Smash either pretends like he is putting back money he stole to mask that he is in the process of actually stealing it, or is genuinely returning money. After Smash goes into a tangent about not being able to afford another bad game, Saceran, more cerebral than he lets on, asks: “What do you need the money for?”. Smash stutters and stammers through a convoluted explanation.

When they attend church on Sunday, Smash’s mom, still under the impression he needs $1,200 for SAT courses, asked the preacher/minister to take up a donation in the middle of Sunday mass. Smash, who looks noticeably guilty, still gives the money to Xena regardless of any culpability. Obviously, things are not going to end well for him.

Speaking of our budding superstar quarterback, his courting attempts with Julie have worked… or at least mildly. When Matt follows up to his question last week, she says she is “considering” the prospect, which is really degrading, but he is in high school and this makes him optimistic. I guess she might be feeling a little trepidation, given that she is the coaches daughter and Matt is quarterbacking his team.
Tami is understandably worried after a sophomore girl came into her office and claimed a football player was pressuring her into a three-way and she doesn’t want her daughter involved in the same depraved culture. Coach Taylor is less concerned however, probably because he knows his quarterback will be much more effective if he gets a little, or maybe because he knows Matt is decent and doesn’t fit the jock stereotype. Though you couldn’t tell from the speech he gives Julie while playing ping-pong Ultimately, despite her parents best protests, she reluctantly agrees to a date… probably despite her parents protest.

Out of nowhere Billy Riggins shows up at practice, worried about handling Tim’s potential scholarship prospects. Whats even more surprising is he gives a shit. Taylor invites them over for dinner, where Billy reveals how financially neglectful his parents have been, who no longer live in Dillon. Tim is somewhat embarrassed by this detail and tries to cover for them, Billy’s not having any of it though, since he has had to shoulder the burden of not only supporting himself (on limited means, I imagine) but also Tim, and like any high schooler, Tim has no idea what that includes.

Back at the house they have a petty, typical brother argument that results in both of the rolling around on the floor trying to tear each others head off, with Tim proclaiming, “I would be better off by myself”. I am not sure if that is true or not. My guess is the latter.

In the climactic story of the week, as alluded to in the pre-credits scene, Street is certain that Riggins-Lyla have been getting on “intimate”. He is understandably paranoid, considering its true, but he doesn’t have any real evidence other than a gut feeling and a prolonged hug in a parking lot. At any rate, between a heated discussion about it with Herc, followed by a dismissive one with Taylor when he tries to discuss Riggins football prospects with Street, and Jason’s only reply is: everyone’s got a sad story”, when Taylor brings up Riggins’ lack of parental guidance; Street has made his decision about how to handle this situation. And thats to unexpectedly slug Tim in the face, as Herc said in their argument about it, “Just because were crippled doesn’t mean we have to take the crumbs.”

Lyla at least feels guilty over it, so she isn’t soulless. She confides the situation to Tami, and, are girls really this open with guidance counselors about their sexual indiscretions? First a rally girl wanting to engage in a threesome for a boyfriend and now this? Guess I wouldn’t really know as I have never been a guidance counselor nor a teenage girl. Anyway, she is contemplating coming clean with Street. And surprisingly enough, Tami advises otherwise under the bylines of “You would be apologizing for yourself, not for him… let him heal”. Which is actually sage advice as Lyla cries in her arms. I still have no sympathy for her or Riggins, I know I am supposed to, but I don’t.

Immediately after the punch Jason continues to roll into Tim and verbally berate him, “You are man enough to screw a cripple’s girlfriend but you’re not man enough to fight one?!… You’re a coward Tim! Always have been!” When Tim arrives home, Billy jumps up in shock when he sees the bruise on Tim’s face, and it looks like he is going to take up arms until he learns it was Jason, and realizes the mark is not undeserved. Instead, Billy hands him the frozen peas from earlier in the episode he was screaming about and a beer, which we last see Tim drinking.

Other notes:

-Apparently Tim and Tyra are dating again, or at least sleeping together. Because Tyra answered the door when she showed up at Tim’s house and he was wearing a shirt that was half-clinging to his body, it looks like he was pulled right out of Billy Walsh’s party at the Chateau Marmont from the first season of Entourage.

-As mentioned before, Street is now involved in the Murderball scene. He started off poorly and was even sent flying out of his chair, but used that and his seething hatred for Tim and Lyla as motivation and owned the remainder of the game.

-Dinner between the Riggins’ and the Taylor’s was awkward at best, and for whatever reason Julie kept eyeballing Tim. Many people have formed their own conclusions about this (She felt bad for him because of his parental situation, she found him attractive, etc), I am going to withhold judgment and see if they touch on it again.

Best exchange of the episode:

(Billy found out he lost his sales job)
Tim: You could sell weed again.
Billy: That was only temporary.
Tim: You’re a great role model.

All in all, very nice return after the two week hiatus. Looks like next week the team takes up Street’s cause and acts out his revenge.

Read these while I write the recap for last nights Friday Night Lights…

Jesse Jackson wants America to boycott Seinfeld DVD’s, most notably the pending 7th season as a result of Michael Richards racist tirade. I am not sure what this would accomplish, because I cannot imagine Richards himself is seeing any royalties from those sales, so the only people we would really be crippling are the creators, producers, etc. Essentially everyone except for Richards himself. Maybe Jackson is going for the Full Metal Jacket approach, like when the drill sargent made everyone do push-ups while Private Pile was ordered to eat a donut found in his cubby.
While I don’t know if we’re going to beat Richards with soap bars wrapped in towels, everyone feels like something needs to be done. If his aim is to hit Richards in the wallet, this is kind of a tough situation for Reverand Jackson. One, the guy is set for life from his ten year stint on Seinfeld. Two, since the series went off the air, Richards hasn’t had a career that he couldn’t kill himself. So, I don’t know. He is never going to get another stand-up gig and he hasn’t produced a film or television series in years. This might be one of those situations that resolves itself and no course of action needs to be taken, because the American public, generally speaking, is decent.

Everyone’s favorite boy band member turned R&B star is hosting SNL on December 16th. Obviously, he is doubling as a musical guest.

Here is a clip of Sacha Baron Cohen circa 1995 as the host of a cable television show in the UK… I guess we can chalk this up to growing pains.

Sex and The City is responsible for millions of female college graduates pining to relocate in metropolitian areas. Now it is responsible for Lindsay Lohan’s promiscuous lifestyle as well.

In regards to its characters, The Wire has an uncanny ability to evoke sympathy from its audience. In this weeks episode, “A New Day”, everything that was bound to happen has come to fruition, the full consequences of all that occurred in last nights episode will reach its boiling point in the coming two weeks. For all those involved, trepidation is the current emotion this point in the season.

Where to start? Well, Much like any encounter with Herc, Randy is currently regretting his. And so is Prez, who encouraged Randy to talk with the police. After Herc’s bumbling interrogation of Little Kevin, Marlo, Chris and Snoop caught wind of Randy’s brief, non-revealing Q & A with the dimwitted Sargent. Now that leak is coming full circle, as Randy was confronted by three, sour-faced high school dropouts looking to wail on him leaving school for the day. If one had watched the previews for this, we were led to beleive that Michael was turning on Randy. But it was a decoy to throw the volatile confronters off before Michael took the first swing. But the damage is done, however, as Randy’s alleged snitching is out in public, and this was probably the first of many violent encounters left in store for the kid who just wants to sell candy too classmates.

Michael, continued his decline into moral ambiguity. Not only did he stick up officer Walker and peer-pressure his friends into assisting him (they didn’t dare voice their tentativeness to Michael), he went well beyond what was planned: firing a warning shot as intimidation, walking up behind Walker while he was on his knees and had his back on all four boys, Michael removed his mask, put the gun against the back of his neck and demanded that Walker give him the ring that he stole from Omar. And that Omar stole from Marlo, who stole it from Ol’ Face Andre. If anyone has noticed, nothing good has happened to anyone who was in possession of said ring (Marlo was robbed by Omar for over 300K, Omar was framed and sent to prison, Walker was a victim of an elaborate prank by the same neighborhood boys he continually harasses), and since this is a realists series, my guess is Michael will not be any exception.

Dukie is being forced into high school and it is something he clearly wants too avoid. In part for several reasons, he has probably the most considerate teacher in the history of teachers with Prez, a computer he is allowed to work on with impunity, and three friends (Randy, Michael, Namond) who work as a support system and seemingly show him undying loyalty. What’s amazing is even though he has the worst domestic situation of the four, as it stand now he is the most likely to make it out of Baltimore, or at least through this season with his body intact. The Wire always manages to diffuse our expectations.

Namond is actually making strides, he is now jovial as opposed to resentful of Bunny (a nickname which Namond takes great pleasure in mocking) and has been given the option to return to regular classes. A option he is hesitant to take advantage of, but he may not have a choice, as his the corner kids program is being cut due to a $54 million dollar defeceit from the school district.
But him and Namond have flip-flopped in terms of personality demeanor. Namond is now the voice of reason for Michael. Explaining to him, “Its not that you do shit, but how you do it.” Michael’s response: “I am not trying to let a bunch of chump-ass niggas think I am shook, because I’m not”. Namond’s response was nothing more than a look of concern.

We had screentime devoted to Marlo, Chris and Snoop. In one of those implied conversations they always have, the actor playing Marlo says more with his eyes than he could ever say with his mouth, they discuss the schoolyard fight between the four thugs, Michael and Randy-
Marlo: Your pup (Michael) stood tall with the snitching boy.
Chris: Oh.
Marlo: Yeahh.
Just a chilling scene. These three could have Michael, Randy, Dukie and Namond dead within the hour, and none of them would feel any remorse about it.

On the political end of things, Carcetti is contemplating how to best handle the Herc-Minister situation. Initially, Carcetti sought out Rawls to find an intelligent superior officer who also happened to be black, because as a white mayor in a city that is 65% black, Carcetti has to be exceptionally sensitive to race politics.

But he finds himself in a bind, as he wants the loyalty and due dilligence of the police (he promised a 5% raise, which he might have to revoke because of the school budget deficit), but also needs to punish Herc in some way as to appease the ministers. It looks though, as much as we were all hoping he would eventually fire Burrell, that he is going to conspire with him to find an acient, frivolous reason to fire Herc in a manner that cannot upset the police unit. “If one cannot fire a reason to fire a saint…” Burrell states as he hands Carcetti a 600 page police code of conduct manual. It looks as though the position only allows for so much of Carcetti’s optimism and good intentions to be realized.

After being held up by Michael & Co., Officer Walker is embellishing the incident to all of the western police, calling the yellow paint they splattered him with a “declaration of war”. McNulty, still operating well below his talent level as a street cop, is a great judge of character and knows Walker is an asshole, which he expresses to Bodie in a fast food restaurant. This scene was one of those that made me nostalgic for the first season, Bodie and Poot are the only real members of the Barksdale crew that are still around from the series’ opening season, and seeing Bodie shoot the breeze with McNulty really wants me to see McNulty get back into real police work, which very well might happen with Daniels being allowed to reprive the Major Crimes Unit. But even that looks like it might be short lived.

Speaking of which, Daniels asking Freamon to head the new MCU: “As far as I am concerned, you are the Major Crimes Unit … its a new day in Baltimore”, followed by Freamon going back to the old office and digging up files on potentially corrupt political figures intersecting with the same figures mingling with Carcetti was one of those Wire scenes that seemed a bit preachy, but was actually the writers method of illustrating where Lester actually intends to take the MCU. Obviously, it left me feeling entirely too optimistic so it will probably get shut down.

In the handling of Randy’s case, Herc received a little comeuppance from Bunk, who I thought might beat Herc senseless after Carver told Bunk that Herc was supposed to bring him Randy. As he stormed out of the office, Lester, being the more level-headed of the two, stays and colllects all the information he can from from Herc, leading them too discover the where the bodies are hidden: “It’s a tomb–Lex is in there”. One of the little details that I embodies what I love about this series, is that not only did the city of Baltimore used cheaper nails to board up the vacant houses (Lester was able to tear the wood down that was put up by the city, but needs a crowbar to get through Snoop and Chris’ craftsmanship) but also Lester knew it. It is sort of symbolic of how government tends to treat its more impoverished neighborhoods.

Other notes:

-Sherrod has returned to side with Bubbles, and they are working well together with there only dilemma being the aggressive crackhead who continues to steal from them.

-Omar has discovered the co-op, and has scared Prop Joe into helping him set-up Marlo. Another scene that was done impeccably, with Omar sticking a shotgun in Prop Joe’s face, and Omar subsequently asking for his ticket so he can “tip on out”. Its interesting that he is now essentially doing police work that major crimes would be enabled had politics not interfered with their progress.

-McNulty assuring Carcetti that he is not the first politician to promise a dismissal of “juking the stats” procedure was another great scene. Two characters wanting the same outcome that the audience is familiar with yet they are unfamiliar with each other. Its amazing how much is lost in lack of communication on this series.

Some great lines:

“Walker is an asshole (Bodie is taken aback by his candidness about another cop)… you play in dirt, you get dirty” -McNulty discussing the Walker incident with Bodie

Namond: Did you hear this kid ordered turkey grease.
Dukie: What? What’s wrong with that? My mom orders it all the time?
Namond: Yo, you really one of them AT RISK kids, ain’t you?
Michael: It’s what alcoholics drink to make themselves vomit, so they can keep drinking that stuff.
-The four boys ordering Chinese food.

Eight year old: What the fuck did you do that for?
Namond: That’s Michael’s mom, yo.
Eight year old: She is a fucking dope fiend.
-Namond explaining to his henchman why he sold a woman drugs at a discount.

“I guess all them books is good for somethin’.” -Dukie after Michael hurls his backpack at the gain of ruffians.

“Your not one of the natives.” -Valchek to Rawls, after Rawls was under the impression he was being set up to be the next police commisioner.

“I trust his fear” -Omar, explaining why he knows Prop Joe won’t cross him.

“I just crawled out of my damn grave, you best believe I am not gonna crawl back in.” -Prop Joe after Omar left him in his office.

Bunk: Your messing with my case you simple fuck!
Herc: Your speaking to a sargent!
Bunk: Fuck your god damn stripes!
-Herc’s feeble defense after Bunk finds out about his negligence.
“I trust his fear” -Omar, explaining why he knows Prop Joe won’t cross him.

“I just crawled out of my damn grave, you best believe I am not gonna crawl back in.” -Prop Joe after Omar gave him an ultimatum.

Bunk: Your messing with my case you simple fuck!
Herc: Your speaking to a sargent!
Bunk: Fuck your god damn stripes!
-Herc’s feeble defense after Bunk finds out about his negligence.

Sorry for the length, but this episode was a turning point and needed to be described in detail. As it stands now, this season is the crowning achievement of The Wire, which is saying something.

A Thanksgiving hangover edition of the links…

I have to tell ya, me and Steven Spielberg have remarkably contrasting opinions on television.

After being married to Paul McCartney for four years, she is going to inherit millions of dollars for doing virtually nothing, and Heather Mills is getting an opportunity to start an acting career on (of course) Desperate Housewives. I’ll just openly admit that I am hoping it blows up in her face somehow.

Kevin Smith is teaching a film/television course at UCLA. Naturally, it will double as a series for MTVU. And Friends producer Kevin Bright is also teaching television production courses at Emerson University in Massachusetts. Sadly, though, his class will not also serve as a case study.

If it takes James Gandolfini and Steve Schirripa getting a little over-zealous while shooting a fight scene for the upcoming season of The Sopranos, to reassure us that it is indeed filming, then I am all for it. Also, Tony and Bobby Bacala get into a fight? Sounds like Bobby is going to channel some Soprano rage that I am sure has rubbed off from Janice.

Jennifer Aniston may or may not be considering a turn on Dancing With The Stars. Needless to say this might be worth a second thought.

Annette Bening is going to make her hosting debut SNL this season. After one of the most storied actressing careers in the history of filmmaking, she has had dozens of years to capitalize on this. why has Bening now, with this downtrodden cast, decided to host the fledging sketch show? In the 80’s thru the mid-late 90’s the cast was capable of carrying the host. Nowadays, she will needs some comedic chops just to not look ridiculous.

And finally, TBS is developing its own sitcoms now. The first of which is entitled My Boys, a series about a single, female sports writer living in Chicago with all platonic male friends. I cannot say I am going to watch this show, but it is probably passed due for a premise like this one. In college, every single girl I knew had, like, a dozen guys she hung out with. And because said friends were like accessories in a purse, they were commonly referred to as “man bitches”.

My apologies for the vulgarity, last nights Wire recap coming up a little later.

Sorry for the delay, busy weekend…

In this weeks episode entitled “Why Would You Trust Me?”, we got one of the better Survivor episodes in a few seasons. Yul manages to still bend people to his will, Ozzy seems almost unbeatable in individual challenges and Parvati, Candice and Nate continue to grate at my nerves.

We open with Johnathan still remarkably paranoid about his standing on his new tribe. And rightfully so, just as he voicing his concerns, we get Candice, Parvati and Adam cackling over how desperate he is. Instances like these are a major contributor to my disdain for all three of them. They speak about others with such disregard it kind of makes me sick. Anyways, he almost loses his cool when he suggests that all of them start working around camp and his teammates are reluctant to heed his advice. Nate, as would be expected, takes personal offense.

Over at Aitu they are still clinging to the “underdog” mentality as a motivational tactic. This is pretty much a football team claiming they are “disrespected”, and are bound and determined to prove everybody wrong.

As it said in the overview on Time Warner, the two tribes merge at what they thought would be the reward challenge. It ends up being a reward with no challenge for, I presume, making it to the merge. In a move that simply exemplifies why Yul is currently running away with this thing, when asked by Jeff to decide which camp to stay at, Raro or Aitu, the two groups are on the verge of bickering, before Yul chimes in and despite holding much contempt for Candice and Johnathan, asks for their opinion since they are the only two who have spent significant time at both camps. See, when logic overrides mayhem, everybody wins. They end up at Raro, which Aitu welcomes because Raro claims to not have any rats.

The aforementioned reward is wining and dining on a boat. Yul announces that even though they are playing a game, he looks forward to meeting those he hasn’t had the chance to know, meanwhile he voices over that the former Aitu is still very much looking for some loose ends on the Raro alliance. Cunning. Also, Adam vomits over the edge of the boat and Nate is seen with a beer in hand for the following twenty minutes of the episode. Johnathan is flummoxed at the recklessness of youth culture.

Back at camp, Nate and Ozzy are bonding. They seem to both have an understanding that while they wish each other the best, and if things happen down the road, they can look to one another as a potential ally, but as it stands now they have to stick with their original alliances. Adam, still drunk apparently, flirts with Parvati. It’s meaningless.

Yul and Becky, possibly one of the better Survivor duos in the history of the series if Becky brought more to the table (She is definitely bright, but we haven’t seen anything exceptional out of her yet in way of challenges, as of now her greatest attribute is being Yul’s closest ally), are plotting on who is the most likely to flip from the five members of the Raro alliance. They are really calculating in determining that their best bet is Johnathan. After deciding on him, Yul immediately tracks him down to make his case. Johnathan is hesitant because he doesn’t believe Yul has any reason to trust him. And therefore could be setting him up. He does say he would be more susceptible to jump ship if a member of Aitu has the Immunity Idol. Yul does not cop to having it, but clarifies that if he can produce the idol, Johnathan will switch alliances. So in the best strategical move available, Yul solidifies his alliance with Sundra and Ozzy, and informs them he does indeed, have the idol.

Onto The Immunity Challenge. It is balance oriented and in this particular IC they have to stand on ropes wrapped around a tall wooden fixture. During the challenge, Johnathan remarks how this poses a significant disadvantage for men with larger feet. Yul points out that their current predicament explains why “elephants can’t run up trees”. Nice. The moping, regardless of how witty, seems entitled. But, its true, so I can’t blame them for it. Adam falls, Nate falls, Johnathan falls, Sundra falls, Yul falls, Parvati falls, Becky falls, Leaving only Candice and Ozzy. The rain starts to take its toll on Candice and she eventually slips. Ozzy wins. Hurrah! Between the four member Aitu alliance, two of them cannot be voted off under any circumstances.

Back at camp, Adam gushes over how great Candice was during the challenge, despite how fruitless her efforts were. The Raro tribe wants to vote out Yul. They all want to vote him out because he is strong, intelligent and the ring leader for Aitu’s alliance. But none of them even consider he might have the Immunity Idol. Nate and Candice make out over the craziness of “this game” because they are both ten years old.

At this point, Yul informs Johnathan about the idol as well. And also adds that if he doesn’t switch teams, the Aitu alliance is voting for him, which kind of corners Johnathan into voting with Aitu, whether he likes it or not. Because Yul can do whatever he wants with the idol, including give it to one of his teammates if Raro tries to vote one of them off. Johnathan doesn’t realize this, but does play it safe in going back to Raro to hear out what their course of action is. Too sweeten the deal for Johnathan, Yul says they will vote for whomever they want him to vote for. Which is brilliant, because in all honesty, what do they care? No one on Raro is a physical or mental threat, at least not considerable enough to make a priority. He decides on Nate because Adam helped him survive the two tribal councils he had with Raro after he mutinied. This isn’t really true, but whatever. Why Candice and Parvati are given passes is beyond me.

When he hears they are dead set in giving Yul the boot, Johnathan (because he now knows about Yul and the idol, but the rest of the Raro alliance is still in the dark) asks if they are at all worried that he might have the idol. Despite how enamored they are with Yul (the very reason they are voting him off), none of them give any credence to the idea because he only spent one day on exile island. And I can sort of understand their logic, but when they are all certain someone has it, and they all confess that they do not, given that Yul is the only member of Aitu that had been banished to the island at all, isn’t that a little telling? I guess their isn’t much trust amongst the Raro tribe.

Johnathan, now coming to realize that Raro is a collection of dipshits, really seems to be leaning towards Aitu. He is aware that if he is to jump ship, again, he has alienated essentially everyone in the game, making a win virtually impossible. Still, you have to play the hand you’re dealt. I like his cerebral approach to the game, though.

Parvati and Candice both reiterate their desire to give Yul his exit papers. They again manage display that insufferable, arrogant attitude by saying about Nate, “He will do whatever we say” in regards to who they plan to vote off. They also think Yul is the “mastermind” and he is too much competition for everyone this side of Ozzy.

At tribal council, nothing terribly relevant is said. When Jeff shows the vote, Yul’s name is spelled “Yule” and “Yuehl”. Jesus, you really have to be trying to misspell his name if you’re best guess is “Yuehl”. I missed who wrote it in the recap, but I am pretty sure that person spells “go” as “geaux”. Either way, it proves ineffectual because Nate is voted out 5-4. Obviously Johnathan flipped, which is the right move. At least Aitu doesn’t ridicule him behind his back.

In his parting words, Nate says everyone is cool except for Johnathan. He adds that Johnathan can “Kiss his ass” and that he is a “Dirty, stanky, wack, fruitcake, who sold out are tribe” and that he is a “lying bastard”. At least its memorable if not kind of absurd because the only reason him and Adam weren’t voting Johnathan off was because they needed his vote. If the five of them had been the last five people, barring an IC win, Johnathan wouldn’t have a prayer of making the final four.

This was a fantastically satisfying episode. The idea of seeing Candice, Adam and Parvati sent home in the next three episodes is going to be predictable and methodic, but justified.

In case you have absolutely nothing to do on Thanksgiving, 2006, Here are a few links. I’ll get around to a Survivor recap sometime tomorrow:

Apparently, some people are upset with the attitude of Veronica Mars this season.

NBC is planning to adapt a series from the comedy picture, Thanks You For Smoking.

Big Brother is attempting to cast Kevin Federline for their celebrity edition. We’re really throwing the term “celebrity” around loosely nowadays.

Mongomery Burns was named the second richest fictional character in television history.

This article asks the producer Jon Murray, why should anyone watch the new Real World: Denver? Great question.

And finally, this article explores how one of my favorite film directors, the late director Robert Altman, honed his directing skills through television.

That’s it for today. I hope you either have some personalities in your family or The NFL Network for the KC-Denver game, because the major network games are awful. Happy Thanksgiving.

Finally, a decent Nip Tuck episode. With guest stars requesting unseemly elective operations and some family tension. To be honest, I think Julia’s absence explains why I am partial to last nights episode.

Last night we saw a french woman ask for her husbands ashes to be implanted into her chest. Yikes. Christian and Michelle turn down her request, Sean does it anyway after he heeds some intentionally bad advice from Brooke Shields the nymphomaniac psychiatrist. Later in the episode we come to find out that she was actually the man’s mistress and had stolen them from his wife. Sean gives the wife some decoy ashes and the mistress the real ones, mainly because he is impressed with her literally undying loyalty to the man. And that, is beneficial for all of us; because the wife ends up flushing them. It’s really not hard to understand why he had a mistress as she vindictively flushes what she thought were her deceased husbands remains down a toilet.

Brook Shields as the nymphomaniac psychiatrist was exceptionally devious, she mislead Sean in embellishing her sessions with Christian, telling Sean that Christian came into her office initially to help with repressed homosexual tendencies towards him. Where in reality, he showed up, she put it into his head then he bent her over her desk. When the two of them confront her, she denies any wrong-doing, then when Christian apporaches her, he turns her around and partially pulls down her pants to reveal that the tattoo they removed a while back that read “Property of Marco” has been replaced to now read “Property of Christian Troy”. Which only fuels Christian’s ego, something we rarely see on this show.

While eating dinner, Michelle explains her empathy for Sean since Julia has left. Christian and I, on the other hand, are entirely too distracted by her revealing garb to be overly concerned with whatever it is she is saying. It takes Christian like ten seconds before confessing his love to Sanaa Lathan’s cleavage. He puts a ring in her champagne glass and proposes marriage. When did he get so codependent? She says, “you really don’t know what you’re getting yourself into”, and that they need to find their own place because all the women who have slept there makes Michelle uncomfortable, and its their first order of business. He complies, its lame.

On the business end of things, Sean is having a hard time coping with Michelle and Christian dating, and is only more embittered when he discovers that they are getting married. He has a great line in response to Michelle turning down the ashes-in-boobs procedure, “It’s interesting when the whore becomes the pimp.” This results in a defeaning fifteen second silence. Anyways, by episodes end, because he cannot mask basic decency and good intentions, Sean resolves his issues and embraces Michelle into their family.

Michelle, however, has a completely different host of problems. James The Woman, wants to use the McNamara/Troy facilities to bring her victims in and operate on them. James The Woman’s lone interest in life seems consist of tormenting Michelle. She shows up unexpectedly in her office, they threaten each other and hurl insults before Michelle slaps her across the face. In a series chock full of soap opera moments, this one takes the cake.

Anyhow, James The Woman consults with Christian and shows up with a gawdy looking bruise on her face. Between this and last weeks unfortunate make-up issues, I think its time to start busting some heads with the cosmetology staff they have on set. Anyhow, there is no word as to whether or not she caused to bruise herself or if she was legitimately attcked by the Asian mafia we met a few episodes back. Christian cautiously agrees to operate on her, and she uses her overnight admittance in the hospital to sneak in a model/surgeon to operate on one of their victims. Christian lets Michelle in on this and she is livid. Christian obivously didn’t think it would be so consequential, because he is still under the impression that James The Woman is merely a pimp, not a hired hand in the black market organ trade.

She rushes over to the hospital to see James overseeing some model/surgeon named Tatiana operating on one of their victims. There are several unanswered questions such as, how did diminutive Tatiana move the exceptionally large victim from wherever she drugged him to the surgeons table? And where do they leave him after the surgery? Sean meets her in the operating room the next day none the wiser, inquiring why she is cleaning the equipment.

Other Notes:

-Mario lopez shows up to look at Christians condo, while giving him a tour he hallucinates about all of his former relationships talking him out of marriage (Kimber, Rebecca Gayheart, the big girl who when he was really insecure, pity-screwed with the bag over her head). This persists for every scene Christian is in his apartment, at one point they talk him out of the marriage and he psuedo-throws Michelle out, before welcoming her back the next day. The entire change of heart is unexplained.

-No Marlo, Julia or Matt.

-The scene where Michelle walks into the office late at night to encounter James The Woman and Tatiana is as David Lynch-esque as last weeks episode. When she steps inside the building, the camera pulls away from her while the two perps are listening to “Que Sera, Sera”. When she turns the corner it is dimly lit outside of the table with them dicing this guy up.

-Christian cops to having the dream of the homosexual encounter with Sean. They agree that they love each other, just not in a profoundly erotic way.

All in all, not a terrible episode, which is usually a high point this far into the Nip Tuck experiment. Entirely too much happens, and the writers/producers could learn something from the creators of The Wire in terms of pacing themselves, but I can’t complain.

With no Friday Night Lights this week (presumably because of Thanksgiving, or else NBC decided to randomly put a Tony Bennett special in the 8pm time slot. Its times like these when I can relate to those who complain about the NCAA Tournament), I decided to put some links in here to tide everyone over until the Nip Tuck recap is posted tomorrow. Enjoy…

-The guy who plays Hiro on the commercial hit Heroes, was on the cover of Time Magazine in 1987 for a piece on “Asian Whiz Kids”. See if you can figure out which one is him (answer is on the bottom of the post). Oh, and Steven Spielberg thinks there is too much violence in the series for its 9pm hour (In light of recent events, I am placing Arrested Development ahead of Seinfeld).

-Yet another reason to hate Scrubs, they are planning on killing off one of their characters. You know, because that is necessary for a series that claims to be a “comedy”. Just admit you’re trying to manipulate the most vulnerable emotions of your predominately female audience and I’ll wave a white flag.

Considering I think David Caruso is the unintentionally funniest thing on television, I had to post this.

Every basement dwellers favorite show is moving to Sundays.

My favorite or second favorite series (I cannot decide if The Sopranos still gets that title over The Wire) is adding one additional episode to the last half of their final season. Huzzah!

-The best comedy in the history of television is being aired on MSN video.

The guy from Heroes is the kid on the left in the blue shirt.

Another delayed post, another eventful installment of The Wire. Where to start? Well lets just quickly summarize first: Nemond’s mom (De’Londa) is still an unruly bitch, Nemond desperately needs to find a new career path, Michael has a disturbing dark side, and all signs indicate that Chris’ sociopathic behavior stems from the same abuse that Michael has suffered, Randy is screwed, Carcetti is noble, Senator Davis is slimy, Daniels and McNulty understand the interworkings of police work better than anyone, Poot is semi-educated and Bodie is growing a concsious.

Occasionally I dread these Wire write-ups, mainly because the detail in every episode is so imperative and there is an avalanche of significant events that all tie-in one way or another, that I feel like no matter how much I write, I am not doing every episode justice. I could probably write 10,000 words on “Misgivings” and still not feel content, because every glance, every gesture from every character has some noteworthy nuance that needs to be explained. This is the one series (and I cannot even say this for The Sopranos) that never has a deflated episode. “Misgivings” is just as interesting and entertaining as every installment that preceded it, and this one might be even more so.

For starters, Michael may have just backed himself into a corner with Marlo and Chris. He is now indebted to them for life, and that just might be what he ends up paying. As we saw with the security guard, Lex, Ol’ Face Andre and most recently with Little Kevin, Marlo’s crew is ruthless. And will do everything that is necessary (and much more) to preserve their own self-interests. It is now undebateable whether Michael was sexually abused by Bug’s father. His incapability to explain to Snoop and Chris why he wants him out of the way, and Chris’ oddly sympathetic ear, now only leaves in question as to what extent Chris was abused.

Was it as a child (the most likely scenario given Michael’s age)? Or in prison (a possibility because right before Chris viciously beat Bug’s father, Chris got him to concede that he had raped men in prison, though he denied ever touching Michael and Bug)? It has never been verbally recognized that Chris was abused, Michael neither for that matter. But the evidence is there, however, because Chris and Snoop have never shown any genuine emotion towards killing. Their style has always been quick, cold blooded, one shot to the head in the vacants. Chris couldn’t even contain himself, and pummeled Bug’s Dad with more violent rage than has ever been exhibited on The Wire. It was not only a surprise to the audience, but a surprise to Snoop as well. Which reflects on how out of character the scenario was.

As for Michael’s counterparts, Nemond is now getting arrested for working the corner, and when Carver (who is handily one of the most likable characters on the show) recognizes that he is fearful of baby-booking (a holding cell for minors), he agrees to let him spend the night in the police station, then at Nemonds beckoning, brings in Bunny to watch him while is deplorable mom is in New York and Atlantic City. While at Bunny’s, we see Nemond is almost socialized, with his manners and level-headed discourse, despite how unworldly he is. When Bunny drops him off at home, he sees the true nature of what his program is forced to contend with: the fat, self-entitled, self-absorbed, disgusting pig of a mother, De’Londa Brice(They’re are not enough negative adjectives in the English language to describe how repulsed I am by this woman).

Despite Bunny’s best efforts to reach out to Nemond, De’Londa rebuffs his efforts: “You stay the fuck away from my son”… good luck with all that, Bunny. Its difficult enough to deter these kids from the corner, from their parents and family is an entirely different task.

After Marlo’s insistence, Randy is now widely known around school as a snitch. He has a look of trepidation about him 24/7 now. As it stands, Marlo hasn’t put a hit out on him, which means he believed Little Kevin’s confession. Which makes his murdering Little Kevin all the more despicable.

Speaking of which, Bodie is feeling guilty over Little Kevin’s murder, seeing as how he suggested to Kevin that he contact Marlo to explain why he has been away for so long, as opposed to Marlo contacting him. When Poot is trying to put it in terms Bodie can understand (relating it to taking out Wallace in season one, looking at it from Marlo’s prespective), Bodie looks remorseful for not only suggesting Little Kevin go speak with Marlo, but also for killing Wallace and his entire lifestyle, he all but acknowledges how wasteful it has been. Because he feels so slighted, I think he is fully capable of exacting revenge on Marlo’s crew.

On a brighter note, we had at least seven minutes of McNulty screentime this week. While Burrell and Davis underminded Carcetti’s orders to veer away from ticky-tack arrests, McNulty instructs a young beat officer on the need for quality police work. When they haul in three suspects for felony robbery, they enter a room full of cops arraigning dozens of men on public intoxication arrests. And we see McNulty with that superior, self-satisfied grin that is unavoidable throughout the course of thirteen episodes. He clearly enjoyed it a little too much, here’s hoping that in the next three episodes, he will be doing legitimate police work again.

Also satisfying, though Bubbles is still getting harassed by the abrasive crackhead, he finally took out some revenge on neglectful Herc. Of all the non-drug dealing, murdering characters that needs some brand of hardship, Herc is third only to De’Londa and Senator Davis. After Bubbles’ set-up, I cannot imagine Herc will keep his sargeant stripes much longer. It has been made explicity clear that Carcetti has to be extremely sensitive in terms of race relations, and when a white cop pulls over and harasses a black senator, Carcetti really has no options. Good.

Other notes:

-It really is depressing how Carcetti and Norman are well-intentioned, but the city is so overrun with corrupt officials in seats of inscrutable power that despite being in charge, their intentions are probably unfeasible.

-Bodie and Poot’s continuing discussion about global warming and everyday America was insightful, despite how inarticulate it seems:
Poot: Its not even going to be that cold out this year.
Bodie: How can you say that when we’re already freezing?
Poot: Global warming, yo. Besides, its not even that cold out, we just getting old.
Bodie: True dat.
(Speaks to how short the life expectancy is for someone in the drug game, considering Bodie and Poot are supposed to be in their early 20’s.)
Bodie: But its not like Marlo knew he was snitching, Stringer knew Wallace was.
Poot: Its not like back in the day. People are getting colder.
Bodie: I thought you said it was getting warmer outside?
Poot: The world is going one way, people another.

-The pre-credits scene with officer Williams snapping four of Donut’s fingers reminded us of the old days with Herc and Carver and how corrupt street level cops can be, but even they never did anything quite as heinous, people are getting colder indeed.

This was probably my favorite episode of the season. It ranks up there with “Refugees” and “Alliances”. Either way its ridiculous trying to quantify episodes in The Wire, because every one exceeds expectations. Until next time…

Sorry for the late post, I have been incredibly busy the past week and am just now getting caught up with work, school, etc. Anyways, Enough lamenting…

Survivor opened last Thursday with Johnathan proclaiming, “I’m a wondering jew without a tribe”. He admittedly regretted leaving his old tribe and knows he is on the ropes at Raro. To compensate he is doing his best Ozzy impression gathering food and what not. As for the other half of the mutiny, Candice and Nate are still gushing over how much they trust each other, in fact they reiterate the point at least a dozen times before the credits role.

Ozzy is shown fishing and he is like Tom Hanks, 10 years into Cast Away. Aitu gets a board with several different colored flags on it. While looking at it, Yul says, “We don’t really have any other strategical options other than too win.” Which is true, there backs are against the wall, numerically speaking At RC, the contest consists of digging up chests at specific directional coordinates, and spelling a word with letters that coordinate with the different flags. It isn’t nautical based, so it marginalizes Ozzy a little, and one would think Raro has a chance, but they don’t. And it seems popular to call them “underdogs” since after the mutiny they were down 8-4. But Aitu is so much more competent, its getting more and more vexing to refer to them as such. Aitu finishes there puzzle while Raro is still digging. There wasn’t a single redeeming quality about Raro’s performance.

Aitu does not even hesitate sending Candice back to exile. She walks off bitterly dejected. And strangely, I cannot blame either party here. From Candice’s perspective, she left there tribe in the dust too join Raro, so she made her own bed; but Aitu does seem to be taking it really hard, which is insane. From Aitu’s perspective, they have no other ill-will towards anyone else, outside of maybe Johnathan, but he hesitantly followed Candice so the resentment isn’t nearly as strong. Ultimately, if forced too choose I would say Candice doesn’t have a leg to stand on, because she had to expect consequences for her actions, but I can understand her surprise at the degree of Aitu’s vindictiveness.

On Exile Island, Candice gives this “holding back the tears, Why me? I hope I can make it” speech that comes off as entitled rich white girl-itus. She says, “It’s not fun, to know, that people that you like, want to see you suffer.” They have no idea that you like them Candice, considering you hung them out to dry with half as many people as the tribe you left them for.

For the reward, Aitu went visited with some tribe that carried them around on these stick-and-leaf chairs. Personally, I would have been kind of embarrassed yet grateful on this reward. They dance, Yul has two enormous Island women G-rape him. Ozzy continues to hyperbole his way into believing that there is some ideological divide between him and Raro, even going so far as to saying about the reward, “It was a warriors welcome, and we were warriors returning from battle.” When in all actuality he is on an elaborate televised game show competing for monetary gain.

Johnathan is agitated with his tribes constant insistence to “chill”. But he continues to earn his keep by means of playing surrogate paternal figure. Over at Raro, when they have to remember a new diagram for IC, Parvati condescendingly explains it to Rebecca: “do you understand? Should we go over it again?” Essentially she talks to her like a kindergarten teacher. The Immunity Challenge entails swimming out and retrieving a bag full of island names. Ozzy gets to his bag and back to shore before Nate even collects his first bag, effectively ruining any chance Raro had at winning. Aitu beats them, though not as convincingly as in the past three challenges, but a win is a win. Before IC, Jeff said he would give a bottle with a message in it to be opened after TC. Raro takes the bottle back to camp and they all sort of blankly stare at it. And this kind of explains why there tribe is so hapless.

At Tribal Council, Brad is on the jury. And he seems more clueless than I am as to how this team is going to vote. Nate, possibly Parvarti, want to boot out Johnathan, Candice and Adam want to vote out jenny, everyone else wants to vote out Rebecca. The tribe keeps claiming that they want to vote based on productivity, but its not going to make a lick of a difference. Yul and Ozzy are the two strongest players, Becky is arguably third and Sundra doesn’t drag them down in anyway. Those four are better than any combination of four on Raro. And their basis is illogical, considering they voted out one of their strongest players last week in Brad. Never the less, they vote off Rebecca. She is mute throughout her dismissal, TC, and pretty much the entire season.

Now for the moment of anticipation, everyone is under the impression the bottle will be for a merge or provide them with some sort of sustenance… it is actually to vote off another person. And the disappointment is hilarious, because short of Candice they were pretty optimistic it would contain something favorable (a merge would be because they would have two more people than Aitu). Probst couldn’t be more pleased to upset this belabored team. The First two votes come for Johnathan, the next four are for Jenny, so at least they are sticking with the strongest player theme. What an awful way to be booted from this game. When she went to Jeff to have her torch defused, I was giving it a 3-1 shot she put it out on his face.

In the future, I really do not need to see either Candice or Adam in the final four. After the merge Candice should be short lived, with the Aitu tribe hating her guts and all. Also, all the white members voted for Jenny, while Nate and Jenny voted for Johnathan. If the merge happens next episode, Nate might be bailed out as the swing vote. At which point I imagine he would side with Yul and Co. If they wait another episode, depending on how strong his alliance is with Parvati he is most likely the next to go. She may have been under the impression Nate was in on the Jenny dispatching.

Understandably, Jenny is livid about the way she got voted out. And in a moment of great parallelism, Rebecca doesn’t even get a parting words segment. Jesus. She could have made a bitter exit, swung a stick at the camera or something. Then, two weeks from now, I might possibly be able to remember she was ever there. Instead, somewhat fittingly, she isn’t given a single word in her last half-hour in the game.

Next week: no signs of a merge, Candice and Adam make out, Johnathan lashes out at his pathetic team and Yul notifies Ozzy that he has the idol.

Its the actual congregating of the two offices! We, as well as Scranton, are introduced to some new faces. Last nights episode entailed tons and tons of setup. It was almost like a second pilot, which gives the series more legs. And considering that one wonders how much longer Carrell plans on playing Michael Scott for. He has a very promising movie career if he decides to pick up and leave, and NBC might not be willing to meet his economic demands after awhile. The British series was something like fourteen episodes, by the time this third season ends the US version will have more than tripled that. So you have too wonder what his loyalties are.

Anyhow, enough cynicism. There was some great material in tonights episode of The Office, especially the dynamic between Dwight and Andy. As I said last week, it would be a middle-management power struggle, and their immediate hatred of each other was exactly what I expected, as Andy is immensely insecure and Dwight is psychotically hyper-competitive and recognizes everyone as a threat, see his racing challenge with Toby, or when he confronted Jim. It just makes sense they would use their completely innocuous titles as means of determining who wields more power. Andy even goes so far as to hit on Angela, albeit unknowing about her and Dwight, it was far from innocent. Also enjoyed the Andy-Michael partnership. They are awkward as hell but they are mutually awkward, so it works. Definitely shades of The Daily Show.

The Pam and Jim scenes are inundated with realism. I don’t even care what happens with them and for me it was painful to watch. I can only imagine what its like to be emotionally invested in this story. When she saw Jim and Karen walking inside after the slashed tires scene, then at the end of the episode leaving the office, I have never seen her look so world-beaten. She seems disappointed that he is so distant. Interesting the shoe is on the other foot, and the more I think about it, the more confident I am they will put her and Roy back together. Why else would he have been in so many scenes leading up to this episode?

Other notes:

-Loved seeing Phyllis snippy with Karen when defending her perfume.

-Pam’s mom crochets, just like Ian Johnson.

-The breast pump thing was… odd.

Some great lines:

“Cross me and I will destroy you.” -Andy threatening Jim before they even get to Scranton.

“My suggestion: you should fire a new employee right off the bat to consolidate power.” -Dwight to Michael on how to handle the new employees.

“I hope 1985 has a time machine because I drive an ‘87″. -Dwight defending his Trans-Am to Andy after he suggested it was made in 1985.

Andy: Anything to report?
Dwight: You mean to me, from you, cause thats how it works.
-Andy and Dwight arguing over whose the subordinate.

Random New Guy: Does it get any better?
Ryan: Sometimes he brings more costumes.
-Ryan explaining employment under Michael.

“Jim is a nice guy, thats why I got the chair.” -Ryan, after Jim forfeited his old chair to him.

“I don’t know what I’m grabbing here.” -Michael, trying to hoist some morbidly obese ex-Stamford-ite onto a table for a motivational exercise.

Thats it for this week as I have to go out of town, will recap last nights Survivor on Sunday.

Last night was like the George Bush of South Park episodes: very divisive. I have to imagine most SP fans either loved it or hated it, mostly because it veered away from the elementary school humor (observing how inane the concerns of elementary school kids are) and focused on the pop culture satire, more specifically a satire on inspirational sports movies, and even more specifically, The Mighty Ducks.

Parker and Stone seem to be resorting more and more too honing in on one character, “Stanley’s Cup” was an example of just that. Outside of a brief appearance from Kyle, Stan was our lone protagonist. And was forced to coach a pee-wee hockey team (a la Emilio Estevez) to retain his bike from city council so he could continue his paper delivery job. I hate dissecting humor, because if it needs explained, then by the end of my explanation you are just going to be disinterested. But this is funny on multiple levels, particularly because most of the adults (his boss, the tow truck guy, the city councilman) Stan has to deal with are so outrageously unreasonable and inept.

The councilman stole the show, every time he chimed in with one of those ridiculously cliched voice overs narrating Stan’s experiences, I couldn’t help but laugh. The voice was verbatim the same voice Parker and Stone used a few years ago when they were parodying all of the Rob Schneider movies (”The Carrot”, “The Stapler”, etc). Essentially everyone from “Stanley’s Cup” was along the lines of: “Stan Marsh has lost his bike that he needs for his job. And now, to get it back, he is going to find out that coaching a pee-wee hockey team (record screeches), is harder than it seems.”

All in all, the episode seemed mailed-in to me, bordering on lazy. All the material was recycled from past episodes. Its a comedy so I am not criticizing the plot or anything, but nothing happened organically and that is generally where the best satire stems from. The humor was so aggressive too, there were even a two more Steve Irwin jokes thrown in for good measure, they weren’t really clever or funny, but solely to grate the nerves of people who were offended with the first go around. I am not one of those people, but the decision to add that in (which in all likelihood was done so after the fact) just seemed like a desperate ploy for attention.

I don’t expect anyone to heed my advice, but if Parker and Stone want to become socially controversial again, they’re going to need to put forth a better effort than this. Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman have set the bar so high (or low, depending on your perspective) that when they crack a couple of Steve Irwin jokes a few weeks after already doing so, most of anyone who was initially offended is now immune. This could be their point, but if its not funny (Again, I am not offended) then it doesn’t work. Anyhow, this is precisely one of the many reasons this show is great: no continuity. We start fresh next Wednesday.

Richard Hatch claims he is innocent.

Artie Lange, Howrd Stern’s right hand man on the radio, might be getting a series on FOX. He has signed a development deal for an undisclosed amount, and it could entail anything from a lat night gig to a sitcom.

Heroes has eclipsed Ugly Betty as the highest rated new series. I just don’t get it. I have caught scenes of Heroes in passing, and from what I can tell its melodramatic, aimless storytelling with marginal acting and even worse dialogue. Ugly Betty, on the other hand looked promising, but I have not had a chance to watch, as it goes head-to-head with The Office and Survivor, and my DVR can only record two shows at once.
Another thing on this article, on the highest rated twenty-five shows of the season, I watch three of them, 60 Minutes, Sundy Night Football and Survivor. If you noticed, none of them are scripted dramas or comedies. Apparently this website is for the fringe TV connoisseur.

This guy has not enjoyed Roger Ebert’s guest replacements.

AOL and HBO are planning to launch a comedy web channel. Niiiiccccce.

“Homecoming” is the title of yesterday’s Friday Night Lights episode, and it is exactly that for Jason making his return to the field and an old Dillon QB legend named Lucas (An homage to that awful 80’s movie by chance?).

The episode opens with a G-rated version of the tailgates I am accustom to from four years of Ohio State. In this we see the unabashed obsession this town has with high school football. There’s a stage, with a band, raffles and everything else you would expect from a small town like this one. We are introduced to Lucas, who gives a pep-talk to, the town, I guess. He claims to be working for an insurance company in Dallas, though he is very reserved when talking about it.

Lyla, is giving her own pep-talk to Riggins, however, and when speaking about his drinking habits, “Its not charming, its just pathetic. And gross. And I feel sorry for you.” Ouch. Its a shame Lyla didn’t take this initiative earlier, because Riggins doesn’t drink for three days and in the homecoming game turns into Mike Alstott.

Lucas, our resident Dillon football legend, introduces Smash to a college football recruiter of sorts named Grady Hunt. When Smash introduces himself, well, when Lucas introduces him, Smash just rattles off his physical and numerical stats. Hunt replies, “Well I am kind of worried about his confidence … I hope you can play as good as you can talk, now’s your time, son”.
When Lucas makes an appearance at practice, they have him throw a few passing routes, the scout is considerably smitten when he watches Smash catch a deep pass.

Regardless, the pressure of this one game begins to mount for the usually over-confident Smash, and he even shows up to the game four hours early to study the playbook. Taylor shows up to reassure him, “Grady Hunt (the recruiter) is not going to make or break number twenty-one. You’re a prospect.” Obviously he chokes. And as a result, since the recruiter and everyone else his entire life has been harping on his diminutive stature (at least for college football running back standards), we are privy to watch him juicing up at the end of the episode. That means he is on steroids.

We learn why Lucas was so reserved in discussing his current job: he made it up. He confides to Taylor that after busting his knee sophomore year in college he pretty much bottomed out and has been meandering around all this time. He asks Taylor to put him on staff as an assistant, when Taylor says he is unable to for budget purposes, Lucas dejectedly storms off. The resentment probably stems from feeling used by the “program”, since he is no longer useful on a football field, no one caters to his whims. Now I might be going out on a limb, but this mentality probably adversely affects a lot of high school athletes.

After being invited to the homecoming game by Coach Taylor, Jason goes back and forth on what exactly it entails. He doesn’t want to be a sideshow to the game yet doesn’t want to disappoint those closest to him. It actually send his parents into an argument, reminscent of Herc’s combative/motivational rant about how Jason’s spinal injury will eventually drive his parents apart from a few weeks back. Lyla eventually persuades him into making an appearance and after Taylor presents Riggins with the game ball for his Jim Brown 2nd half performance, Riggins subsequently presents it to Jason. Clearly Jason does not want the attention, but is flattered all the same.

In “stories that have virtually nothing to do with the main plot but are still necessary to illustrate how not everyone in towns like Dillon is enamored with high school football” news, Tyra and Billy (Tim Riggins’ older brother) are planning on throwing a decadent, depraved party loaded with booze and strippers. Tyra and Billy hit it off, though I cannot tell if Tyra genuinely likes him, or is doing it to make Tim jealous. For the most part he seems indifferent. The shindig they put together is the party at the moon tower from Dazed and Confused. Alright, Alright, Alright.
They end up profiting around four grand from the entire thing.

Other notes:

-At the party, Matt in a drunken, less flustered than usual demeanor asks Julie out. The camera doesn’t allot them enough time for her to respond.

-While in a pool with Lyla semi-holding him afloat, Jason inquires about her and Riggins spending more time together. She answers and quickly changes the subject, which is very conspicuous, Jason makes his suspicions known with Herc.

-No follow up to the Castor story from last week. Hopefully they will return to it now that the series has been picked up for a full season.

All in all, not the strongest episode, everything felt unnecessarily hurried. Most likely a bi-product of the paranoia to getting their season cut prematurely. Since that is no longer an issue, I doubt it will continue to be a problem.