Grid Effect

I stumbled across this today and thought it warranted posting since it involves two things I have an undying obsession with: The NBA and Arrested Development. The writer compares and contrasts AD characters with some of the more atypical NBA personalities. Not positive I concur with the Kobe-Lucille Bluth comparison, but it will do. It will be interesting to see who is paralleled with Buster, and who will play the Lucille to his Buster, maybe Doug Christie with his wife? If you have never seen Arrested Development before, being compared to Buster Bluth is not exactly the highest of praise, particularly for a professional athlete in a league that measures posturing as much as it measures skill.

Who is Tobias? Mark Madsen? Because we all know he is gay but is struggling in coming to terms with it.

Lyndsay Bluth could be anyone, someone into vanity and physical appearance applies to 90% of the league.

George Michael is going to be the hardest to match. A self-conscious teenager shy around women who desperately wants to sleep with his cousin. AC Green is as close as it gets, but he is retired and I am sure Green has lost his virginity by now, and I can all but guarantee he has no intentions of bedding a relative. This guy might have to go to the incestual fail safe and pick someone from West Virginia.

The possibilities are endless.

So that Nip Tuck episode last night. Ummm, yeah. What can really be said for it? The episode, “Connor McNamara, 2026″, if you couldn’t tell from the title, is set twenty years in the future and jumps back and forth from the future to the present as a twenty year old Connor airs his grievances to an unseen shrink. It’s sole purpose was to explain Julia’s departure, becuase the actress who plays her, Joely Richardson, will be taking a brief hiatus to attend to her daughter’s surgery.

In the first ten minutes of the episode, while in the present, Julia changes her mind at least six times on decisions that will alter the lives of Connor, Marlo and Sean. Its the most indecisive shit I have ever seen. First she is going to go through with Connor’s surgery, then Marlo changes her mind. Then she decides to stay with Sean, then opts to be seperated. Next thing you know she is eloping with Marlo to Venice but then she decides she needs to be by herself and takes Connor and Anne to New York. Where presumably she has family.

Needless to say, it’s annoying. For one they never demonstrate what is so endearing about her. Ever. In the history of the series, I cannnot determine why Marlo, Christian, Sean and everyone else would be so enamored with this woman. Secondly, she never faces any reprecussions for all of her absent-mindedness. After having Matt with Christian, and leading Sean to believe he was his son for roughly eighteen years, she comes away unscaved from that? How? Shouldn’t there be some penalty for this level of deception? And why would Sean tolerate being railroaded like this? True, he has cheated on her several times, but its almost an afterthought. For all of her waffling, it does seem best fro everyone involved for them to be seperated.

And the scenes in the future, I am not sure if the aging affects were supposed to be comically bad, but if not they could definitely use some work. Apparently in the future, among other things, everyone has slightly gray to white/dark gray hair and wears glasses. Polygamy is legal, but homosexual marriage is not, and major cosmetic surgery is a “blink-of-the-eye” process, as evidenced by Connor’s surgery he is gettting to impress girls at his new school. This is the producers premonition of life innthe year 2026.

Connor, by the way, is reasonably grounded. They make note of him being close with Marlo while he was growing up, so that probably explains it. Anne, however, is a basket case. After she is caught stealing pain killers from the hospital, her and her parents have this huge breakthrough about why she needed them. Its really, really pathetic. Essentially she guilt trips them for being terrible parents all her life and they are forced to reassure her that they always loved her, even if she felt like they never demonstrated it.

Other future notes:

-Marlo and Sean have families that we never see.

-Christian is still making the rounds with women. He is over fifty and currently seeing two women from Dubai that can’t speak English.

-Matt is a surgeon, and he performs the elective surgery on Connor, with Sean and Christian assisting him. No word on whether or not he is still into Scientology or if he is married to Kimber. Probably not, he is too normal when he is thirty-eight.

Present day notes:

-Sean is refusing to leave his home during a hurricane despite a mandatory evacuation. Him and Matt sort of set their differences aside.

-Marlo and Julia agree to end things, which leads to a tearful good-bye from Marlo to Connor. Peter Dinklage is a really great actor.

I am tempted to label this as a comedy, but out of respect for Joely Richardson I won’t be so undermining. Next weeks episode looks much more promising, Sean has a great line directed at Michelle in the previews, “It’s amazing what happens when the whore becomes the pimp.” Zing. And frankly, I wish Joely Richardson’s hiatus was for less tragic reasons, that way I wouldn’t feel so guilty that I am elated her character will be absent for a while. Because frankly, while Richardson is seemingly a decent person, I am spent on Julia McNamara.

I cannot stand this show, and the fact they felt it necessary to sign Blue Man Group for their season premiere only indicates why I dislike it.

I am pleased to announce, and you might have already heard, that Friday Night Lights was picked up for a full season.

It really shouldn’t come as a surprise that sitcom writers have poor eating habits.

Ricky Gervais, who created The British version of The Office and is responsible for exporting it to the States, wrote the episode set to air on November 30th.

According to TV critic Alan Sepinwell of The Star Ledger, Saturday Night Live was actually funny this past Thursday, mainly as a result of Alec Baldwin hosting. I am skeptical.

Back with thoughts on Friday Night Lights and Nip Tuck later today.

I’ll let you know by the end of the recap if I am going to continue watching Studio 60. For the most part, you will be able discern whether or not I will by my tone in the article.

Everyone one is still in a tizzy over the happenings in Pahrump, Nevada. And Matt is scurrying to put together a replacement show, in case Tom and Simon cannot make it back. So he chooses a heavy-set, slightly shy writer to fill the shoes of Simon for the “Weekend Update”-esque sketch. When he expresses insecurity over his physical appearance, Matt has the attractive female writer say she is looking forward to seeing him in a suit, he immediately goes all schoolgirl blushy before she sternly says, “Don’t flirt with me.” Somehow, this manages to instill confidence in him. Like I said in last weeks entry, the drama is fairly inconsequential. Simon makes it back in time regardless, making the entire bit negligible.

Out in Pahrump, we are still supposed to be curious as to why Tom was speeding through their small town. I’ll save you the suspense and just say he was light-speeding through Pahrump to see his brother before he left for his third tour in Afghanistan. The judge, has a soft spot for the troops, even if they are siblings to sketch comedy shows he despises, let’s Tom off of the speeding ticket, Simon off the possession charge and Jack, who coincidentally went ballistic right before everything surfaced about Tom’s brother, off of his contempt of court charge. Hooray!

Harriet spends the entire episode proving to everyone she is not homophobic, including Jordan, Matt and the staff, which leaves viewers of Studio 60 forced to endure multiple cliche rittled blue state-red state arguments about the tenants of Marriage in America, that probably eats up at least ten minutes of their 45-minute air time.

And on the business end of things, Jordan is still in hot water with the network heads over the exerpt of her ex-husbands memoirs that ran in The New York Post. As revealed last week, Jack, who initially was suspected as an advocate for her dismissal, is actually fighting for her. She is confronted by one of the network owners and warned to not screw up the deal with TMG, the company headed by the Chinese man who is in Nevada with his daughter because she wanted to meet Tom Jeter.

The girl also doubles as her Father’s translator, and at the very last moment, the Chinese man caught wind of Jordan in the tabloids. Unfortunately his daughter translated incorrectly, mistakenly saying to Jack that, “Your president has brought great shame to your network”. Jack goes ape-shit about how honorable Jordan and everyone on the cast of Studio 60 is, it ends up this tangent, that lasted at least three hours, was unnecessary, because the Chinese man actually said that “Jordan’s ex-husband had brought great dishonor to himself.”

In the closing scene we learn that Matt was being so difficult on Harriet because he felt it should have been him defending her instead of Tom. So he is actually feeling guilty about his absence.

That, my friends, is the straw that broke the recappers back. It was just one speech too many for a series overrun with speeches. Damn, its a shame that girl didn’t translate properly and Matt isn’t emotionally stable, I might have been on the hook for one more episode.

Just to illustrate I am not a total scrooge, here are a couple decent lines from “Nevada Day: Part II”-

Danny: Judge, in this position, are you pretty much capable of doing whatever you want?
Judge: Why do you think I’m smiling?
-Danny, inquiring about the unique circumstances to Tom’s position.

Harriet: Who’s homophobic?
Matt: Please, I’m homophobic in a way that makes sense.
-Harriet and Matt after he accused her of being homophobic.

Let me just close by saying the series wasn’t a colossal bore. It had its high marks, great acting from the entire cast, most notably Steven Webber and Mathew Perry. Some intriguing story lines that never materialized, probably because I am bailing on them halfway through it first season. Oh well. Nothing ever reached the status of “gripping” for me to have any regrets here.

Ultimately the series is to conceited for my taste. Sorkin, in his attempt to prove that not everyone in hollywood is liberal like mainstream America might believe them to be, refutes his own intentions by portraying everyone from a red-state as some cracked-out gun wielding yokel ignorant to everything. And again, I am not offended in the least nor am I pandering to a base. My sensibilities haven’t been corrupted or anything… but jesus, couldn’t they have brought in a consultant from Iowa or something. Possibly for their second season?

From here on out, if you enjoy this series and want to read up/discuss the latest happenings in Studio 60 land, go here.

Another great, multi-layered episode of The Wire last night. The title pretty much indirectly sums up the theme of last nights episode. Everyone was either stepping out of, or refusing to step out of their quarters. Omar and Ol’ Face Andre refusing to leave Baltimore for entirely separate reasons, Randy unknowingly entering the drug game, Bubbles trusting the police to resolve his problems, the corner kids stepping out of their urban environment, Michael reaching out to Marlo for help and Carcetti clashing with the council president.

We opened with Omar being released from prison, and giving his word to Bunk that he will not retaliate against whoever framed him, at least not by killing anyone. When Bunk suggests taking him to the train station, so he can skip town until some heat blows over (Much like he did at the end of season 1), Omar replies, “I can’t leave Baltimore, its all I know”. Clearly, he knows his place.

In waiting with Butchy outside of Ol’ Face Andre’s store to inquire why he lied about eyeballing Omar as the shooter, Butch asks Omar, “I thought you promised you weren’t going to kill anyone?” Omar quickly replies, “That don’t mean I can’t stick a gun in Andre’s face. He’s got some explaining to do.” So it appears that as long as Bunk and Butchy are the only one’s in the know of Omar’s promise, then at least his stick-up practice shouldn’t suffer.

Omar spent the rest of the episode in a abandoned building, eyeing Marlo and his crew above the concrete park. This is obviously a risk taken by Omar, considering there is a five figure bounty out on his head, and he is spyng on the man who placed it.

Speaking of Ol’ Faced Andre, he really should have left town. In fact, knowing what he was facing, there is no reason for him to stick around Baltimore, collecting two grand on the convenience store cannot be worth one’s life, which is what he ultimately paid. The scene where Slim drops him off to Chris and Snoop, and he pleads to be killed in his house as opposed to the vacants is chilling to say the least. One question I have is assuming that knowledge of the co-op, though elusive to all members of the executive branch, would be common in the street. So wouldn’t Andre know about Prop Joe’s role in it? And as a result, suspect (or just assume) Marlo was a benefactor of the co-op. Apparently not, because when confronted, Joe asked, “Who you runnin’ from?” he replied, “Some boy named Marlo.” And Prop Joe was able to pretend as if he had only heard of him. That was surprising. Only those who need to know are privy to the co-op.

In the earlier seasons, when Herc was simply a bumbling henchmen for Major Crimes, his incompetence was amusing, a comic relief of sorts. After catching the now former mayor Royce getting a blow job, Herc’s clumsiness has gone from humorous to tragic. As he has now placed two extremely vulnerable individuals in harms way. Randy, who’s so young, his main aspiration in life is getting Prez money to buy candy in bulk over the internet, little does he know he may be facing the business end of Chris’ gun barrel after Herc’s pathetic interrogation attempt with Little Kevin.
Bubbles was relying on him to put the screws to the bully crack head that has been terrorizing him. Bubbles mistakenly puts entirely too much faith into Herc, even goes so far as to talk trash to the abrasive crack head, long story short, the guy beats him with a pipe. On a show that prides itself in its realism and raw, gritty narrative, this was quite possibly the hardest scene too watch, this side of Wallace getting shot in the first season. I suppose the title “Know Your Place” can apply to Herc as well, as he should clearly not be Sergeant of anything.

Colvin, in a move to motivate the corner kids class, offered dinner downtown to the first team of three who can successfully assemble an Eiffel Tower replica. Namond, and his two teammates are the first too finish, partly because they are light years ahead of everyone else, partly because Namond hid the extra pieces in his pocket. It seems like Bunny and the teacher realize it, but let it slide all the same. Bunny takes them to a Ruth Chris’ Steak House, which is reminiscent of the first season, when D’Angelo took his girlfriend out to an upscale restaurant. The awkwardness of being removed from their natural surroundings was noticeable with D’Angelo and it is with the corner kids as well. The refusal to check their coats, not recognizing the difference between a hostess and a waitress, the paranoia that they “don’t fit in” is all there just like it was three seasons ago. And its not that their stupid, its that their unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Upon leaving, the three of them are so depressed and run down from the experience that they immediately resort back to their confrontational ways: specifically Namond with the car music and all three of them with the petty bickering.

Michael, in order to protect his little half-brother Bug from his own biological father, reached out to Marlo for help. Which is misguided, stupid, brave, selfless and finite all at the same time. In what is bound to end badly for him, Michael is now indebted to the devil incarnate because Marlo is going to take out his step-father, who Michael doesn’t trust because he was most likely molested by the man. Even Dukie and Randy suspect something is afoot when Michael claims that everyone is “too nice”, he goes so far as to suggest that Cutty is a homosexual, Prez to. Prez, I can somewhat understand. But Cutty? The man who constantly always has a women hanging on him? Michaels suspicion of adult males is, understandably, deeply embedded. He has other options in Prez and Cutty that do not require Marlo, but with Marlo, Michael feels like at least he knows where he stands, even though it is the worst available solution.

Other notes:

-Poot has returned from his 18 month jail stint! Its remarkable how far this series has removed itself from that orange couch in the low rises.

-Carcetti is bumping heads with the really attractive council president, basically because Carcetti leap-frogged her to the Mayors chair and she is bitter about it. He reassures her that it stands a good chance he is running for Governor in a couple years.

-Daniels and Rhonda are optimistic Carcetti will bring about change within the city, if only they knew his pining for the Governor’s chair in two weeks.

-Prez is being forced into “teaching the test” as opposed to teaching the material that is applied to the test. He was making decent headway with some of the students to, though the fact there is as much bureaucracy in the educational system as there is in law enforcement is, regrettably, not surprising.

Only four episodes left and I have my theories about what will happen, but I am probably embarrassingly mistaken.

Well, it finally happened. While this installment of The Office intended to be plot driven, the episode was hitting on all cylinders and the comedy was top-notch.

In addition to the merge came Michael’s firing, employee gossiping, Dwight and Michael’s road tripping, Josh’s quitting, Michael’s rehiring and a whole world of expectations for next week. Especially for those interested in the whole Jim/Pam/Karen/Roy fiasco. From that end of the storyline, I like how Jim first encouraged Karen to avoid Scranton (kind of similar to Pam encouraging Jim to take the job in Maryland for more money last season, and Jim feeling unwanted as a result), then after she was offered a position there, he suggested, “Scranton its not that bad, if they offer you a job, you should take it”.

Pam, as sweet as she can be, I am sure has a catty side to her, them being at odds should make for some great comedy, and you know the writers will establish the urgency well. I just hope Roy doesn’t end up killing Jim. There is the issue of maintaining professionalism however, With Jim being placed as second in charge, directly under Michael, won’t relationships with subordinates be an issue?

One result of this merge that is disappointing is it most likely means the end of Ed Helms’ stint on the series. I could probably find out on IMDB, but honestly I do not want to know. The confrontations between him and Dwight would surely develop into a middle management power struggle. Hopefully they bring him back for at least a few more episodes.

Some other noteworthy/cringe inducing moments:

Janet secretly taking joy in firing Michael/shutting down the Scranton Branch.

Michael and Dwight’s celebration in front of the CFO’s house after discovering their branch is absorbing Stamford, instead of the other way around.

Ryan’s inability to end his relationship with Kelly through mitigating circumstances and his severe disappointment with the announcement of Scranton staying open.

Michael having that “My Humps” song as his ringtone. And Carrell’s straight face while it played, like its perfectly normal for an middle-aged man to have such an absurd song for a ringtone.

Great lines:

Michael: Let’s just pretend you’re the CFO and you are walking up to your house and I will approach you about shutting down the branch.
(Dwight walks 20 feet down the road and begins approaching his house)
Michael: Hey, excuse me-
Dwight (in character): What is the meaning of this?!

“Some of you may heard some rumors that the branch is shutting down.” -Michael, minutes after announcing it to everyone.

“I always knew the branch would shut down someday… I just figured it would be because Michael sold the building for some magic beans.” -Jim

Michael: You write the CFO Christmas cards? You have never even met him.
Dwight: Well, when I do we’ll have something to talk about.
-Michael and Dwight tracking down the new CFO.

The online “Producer’s Cut” episode is probably at least ten minutes longer and has much more detail with the side characters (i.e. Creed, Meredith, Phyllis, Toby, etc). If you have yet to watch it I definitely recommend doing so.

Ricky Gervais has the perfect comedic face. After seeing his stand-up at “The Night of Too Many Stars” on Comedy Central, I will not argue.

Amazingly enough, Studio 60 is getting a full season.

Did Buffy The Vampire Slayer invent the phrase “not so much”? Is this relevant? Ehhh, not so much. Fans of the series always claimed it was insultingly underrated. All I can say is at least it received multiple seasons. If we get that with Friday Night Lights I will be surprised.

Great episode of Survivor last night. A couple twists, a few betrayals, one innovative challenge and plenty of questionable decision making.

In the pre-credits scene, Candice is discontent with her current tribe, and wants to realign herself with Adam and Parvati. Essentially she wants to rejoin with the white people (That makes since, being that she is from the south. Sorry) except Johnathan. Who, for reasons unkown, has entirely too much trust in her. Blinded by lust I imagine, even though there is no indication of that. As for Candice, she is #3 in the pecking order of the alliance within the alliance alongside Yul and Becky, clearly she doesn’t realize this.

Over at Raro, the entire tribe is still holding contempt for Brad. Sensing the negative vibe he is getting from his team, he at one point stands up and says in a menacing tone, “After the merge, it is every man for himself”. Which is honest, but ill-advised. Especially with Nate, who manages to apply the worst connotation to every out of the ordinary comment, like he did with Stephannie. If this guy was around in the 50’s I am pretty sure the Red Scare would still be going on. The way Brad’s tribe has been treating him, I can understand his hostility. They are still holding him accountable because Rebecca cannot swim.

Amazingly enough, they have added a legitimate twist to this season. Before the Reward Challenge, Jeff offers every contestant the opportunity to switch teams. Candice almost immediately steps forward, and Johnathan follows suit at the next second. And I am somewhat perplexed by both decisions, well not so much Candice. Clearly she didn’t realize what a great position she was in with Yul and Becky, they might have been too discrete. And she clearly is smitten with Adam. But Johnathan, talk about paranoia. He was sort of on the chopping block on Aitu, but his position isn’t any stronger on a brand new squad. It sounds like he did it because of his trust in Candice, which is comically misplaced. Ultimately, I am not sure what either of them are thinking, why would anyone leave a team with Ozzy, Yul and Becky on it. That is by far the strongest alliance going into any merge. And Candice and Johnathan just made it easy for the four of them.

Onto reward challenge, since Aitu now only has four contestants to Raro’s eight, four people must sit out for Raro. They decide on Parvati, Candice, Nate and Adam going against Aitu’s Yul Sundra, Becky and Ozzy. The challenge consists of loading two girls into a barrel rolling them across this apparatus, then putting Booey’s into it swimming out to grab someflags, placing the flags in chronological order, digging a hole to retrieve an axe and chopping some inanimate object. Long story short, what’sleft of Aitu destroys them. Its a joke, really, the disparity between the two teams in terms of talent for randomly contrived challenges.

Ozzy, who is taking the abandonment of Johnathan and Candace particularly hard, screams something in the direction of Raro along the lines of, “Mutineers are the first to die”. I am unsure what he is so upset about, if they had stayed and Aitu lost, it was his head on the chopping block. Now, instead, he is possibly the strongest member of the strongest alliance. He should be exuberant, not bitter.

After winning the challenge, Sundra is reduced to tears. When Jeff asks what has her so distraught, she just mutters something about loyalty. Apparently sitting in a barrel was really trying on her. The are really melodramatic at the house they are sent to for reward, which entails lodging, pastries assorted beverages and family photos from home. Everyone cries every season when presented with any semblance of their home life, this season is no exception.

Candice is sent to exile island and has nothing interesting to say.

Unsurprsingly, Jon is somewhat isolated in his own right with the Raro tribe. I cannot tell if he is surprised. I really hope not though. They all kind of resent him being there. Even Parvati doesn’t take too kindly to him. He said his one mistake may have been trusting Candice too much, and she must be considerably duplicitous for him to just be grasping this concept. Ummm, u are following around a 22 year-old girl. That’s never a wise move. Nate, as expected, takes Johnathan’s decision to switch teams personally. Looks like Brad is off the hook as resident whipping boy for Aitu.

Adam is the only one welcoming to Johnathan, they speak of reforming whats left of the old Caucasian squad. They both welcome the idea.

At Immunity Challenge, the four who did not participate in the Reward Challenge for Raro are now the default participants, which leaves Jenny, Brad, Jon and Rebecca. so it seems obvious they will lose. Luckily though, the challenge is not physical. It consists of dropping cannonballs out the bottom of a boat and sending booeys to the surface of the water. It is much, much slower paced than your average challenge from Survivor. Amazingly, Raro hits their first two cannonballs before Aitu hits one. Regardless, Aitu ends up winning, as Raro utterly implodes trying to hit the third traget. Its like watching The Dallas Mavericks in last seasons finals, or The Colts in any playoff game.

After Immunity Challenge, Candice confines to Parvati that she does not find Johnathan trustworthy nor does she want to align with him, despite what Johnathan led everyone at Raro to believe. I am not really understanding Candice’s reasoning here. He blindly followed her to another tribe, told everyone on said tribe that the two of them were “tight”, and she still deems him untrustowrthy? As far as Survivor goes, he has demonstarted undying loyalty to this girl. You know, It’s not beyond the realm of possibility that they used to date, and Johnathan screwed her best friend or something. Because nothing else should provoke such skepticism from Candice.

Plenty of scheming in this episode. Nate and adam agree to vote off Brad first, because Johnathan is working hard to earn his keep. However, Candice tells Adam that Johnathan was “talking trash” about him, which if memory serves, is completely unfounded. But Adam, like one would assume a kid with a Virginia Tech had on would do, completely takes the bait proclaims he wants to “kick his ass”.

Nate and Adam have this pathetic conversation about what a “punk” Johnathan is, and Adam is so enraged he wants to now give Johnathan his walking papers. Nate reassures him that this will all happen in due time, and to just stick to the original plan.

At Tribal Council, everyone is waffling and making a lot of vague suggestions. Nate always talks like he is auditioning for The Wire, he describes Candace as someone who is “very lethal”, and says “Johnathan has a tendency to be a leader, and we don’t dig that around here”.

Brad is the most genuine person at TC. He flat out says he does not trust anyone, and says he likes Johnathan and Candice seems pleasant in the six hours he has known her for. Give it time Brad, give it time. I have known her for eight hours of selective footage, and cannot stand the girl. They vote, one for Johnathan, the next five are for brad. Nate, amazingly enough, is dictating the pace of this game for Raro, which is odd because he is like a fake alpha male.

So long Brad, people will say your Candor got you booted, but I personally don’t think it would have made any difference.

Last week on South Park: Cartman froze himself so he wouldn’t have to feel the two week wait for the the release of the Nintendo Wii. The elementary school made it mandatory for the class to be taught Evolution. Mrs. Garrison is incapable of doing so, forcing Principal Victoria brought in an evolutionary scientist, and he falls for Mrs. Garrison, who is bald, because a sex change operation only resolves so much. He converts her into an Atheist against her will, because she is so desperate since the operation.

Let me just preface this by saying that this weeks episode definitely redeemed last weeks former half. Parker and Stone hammered home their theories on evolution and intelligent design, but the parody of the typical sci-fi movie was so exaggerated it worked as a comedy while simultaneously being topical.

The opening scene with Cartman and the sea otters riding the ostriches to The Historical Museum of Technology was hysterical if only for being so unexpected. He was fully in tune with their diction but it was scattered throughout random expletives and his typical aggressive language. Cartman’s nickname of “time child” is the brand of melodramatic satire that people love from South Park. The little nuances that seem to fit perfectly with what is being mimicked are what make Parker and Stone the best at what they do.

Along with everything Cartman, the war between the United Atheist League (Humans) and the United Atheist Alliance (Sea Otters) was hysterically petty. The riff between the two factions, according to the otters, was the humans are illogical in tearing down trees to build tables when one can simply eat off his/her stomach. I never thought I would write a sentence that sounded that absurd. But, there it is.

Some Great lines:

“Kill the Wise One!” -A random Sea Otter starting a mob after their leader suggests that God may exist. Naturally the leader is instantly pummeled.

“And the best way to persuade people, is to be a dick to anyone who disagrees with you.” -One of the Atheist humans explaining the philosophies of their God, the evolutionary teacher from last episode.

Toy Store Owner: The crank call phone is 6000 credits.
Cartman: What? I don’t have that? You don’t understand, I have to have one of those phones.
Toy Store Owner: Oh okay, then you have to give me 6000 credits.
-Exchange between Cartman and a toy store owner he was trying to by a phone from that can contact the past.

“Kill the table eaters!” -Otter leading the helm in the charge against the humans.

Recaps and thoughts on The Office and Survivor coming tomorrow.

This is a curious decision from both Kevin Smith and the casting director.

Honestly, what did the people of Laguna Beach think would happen?

Can anyone take this seriously?

Some people were disappointed when this went off the air, if you are one of them, Smith is returning in online form.

Finally, an interesting take on Ugly Betty.

On this weeks Nip Tuck episode, everybody is screwing everybody! literally and figuratively, this is week it all came to fruition, and in predictable fashion. We also beared witness to the resurgence of Escobar the Mexican drug lord who is currently incarcerated; and or Merrill Bobolitt, the rival surgeon from season two who was last seen trying to carve the skin off of Christian’s face (Who said this show is about shock value?).

Merrill only got 32 months in prison as a result of a plea bargain for cooperating with authorities, which entailed testifying against someone called the madame. As a result he was constantly sexually abused during those 32 months and ended up having to “marry” another inmate for protection. In this case, Merrill married Escobar. Which is the equivalent to forfeiting whatever rights one may have in prison.

Escobar wants Christian and Sean to repair his face after he lit it on fire in solitary confinement. He had Merrill arrange it before he was escorted in by a gaggle of correctional officers. Amazingly enough, Escobar staged the entire thing by bribing the guards, the warden and managing to set his own face on fire after two years in the hole, just so he could escape with Sylvio, the guy who murdered his child molesting brother in the series premiere three or four years ago, on Sean and Christians operating table. Sean and Christian threw his body in the everglades and the crocodiles made quick work of him. Escobar knows this so he can blackmail the two of them into performing the surgery.

This wasn’t accomplished until Merrill woke Escobar up during his surgery (turned the sedative down) and held a scalpel to his neck. Sean shoves him and the guards drag Merrill off screaming. Christian adds, “You should have lett Merrill kill him, it would have solved all our problems”. Escobar murders five guards to escape with Sylvio, before going to Sean’s house and murdering Sylvio in his den as compensation for the pro-bono surgery.

Matt already managed to get Kimber pregnant, and they are married. Kimber is hell bent on the scientology influenced silent labor, because, hey, whats one more questionable decision? I mean, she is already married to the son of her ex-fiance. Sean is convinced the kid is his, he steal DNA from her while she is having her breast implants removed. Much to his chagrin, it isn’t his. So Matt has effectively ruined his own life. Are congratulations in order?

Sean confronts Marlo, the midget nanny, because he has a premonition that he slept with Julia. He admits to having an “intimate relationship” but it never turned physical. Minutes later Julia confesses it to him. As usual, she resorts to hysterics, he pins her up against the wall and they make out while mumbling about trust. Its probably at least the 157th conversation these two have had like this, so its not terribly gripping.

After seeing Sylvio’s body, Sean phones in the murder while walking into his bedroom. This prompts Julia turns around in surprise because of the subject matter: “I’d like to report a murder… This address… No, we are not still in any danger.” When he hangs up, Julia queries, “What’s going on?” Sean replies, “I had an affair with Monica.” And her face drops. Umm, he just reported a murder that you are unaware of in your house and you are more surprised that he slept with the nanny? Really? It seems like at this point, any and all extra-marital affairs between these two should just be shrugged off.

Next weeks episode takes place fifteen years in the future. I am serious. Apparently Nip Tuck is running so thin with ideas that they are turning into The Simpsons. And as bad as I thought this was, it is beating Studio 60 by a mile. One more week before I decide, though the future episode is really going to be a setback for the series. It’ll be close.

“El Accidente” is the title of this week’s Friday Night Lights. Of course, the lone Latin/American player is featured. And, of course, he is a hothead with a violent streak.

We jump right into this weeks episode with everyone at that burger joint. Everything that affects this football team off of the playing and practice fields happens at Applebee’s and said burger joint. Matt is eating with Castor (the third friend we haven’t seen much of) and Landry, before Smash calls him over to his table and introduces Matt to a few girls, Smash manages to make everyone blush by calling Matt a virgin. And he clearly is. It doesn’t really need to be addressed. Voodoo comes strolling in before being confronted by Smash. Voodoo manages to call Reyes, the aforementioned Latin/American, a wetback and suggest that he, “go back across the river.”

It’s really not a big deal, and personally I am indifferent, but I am still surprised a network would portray a Katrina refugee in such a negative manner. If anyone watched this show I am sure there would be outrage.

Anyhow, immediately after the altercation, Castor approaches Saceran and suggests they leave, when Matt asks for a few minutes, Castor goes off about how inconsequential high school football is. There is a slight uproar, nothing like immediately before, and Castor walks outside while Saceran talks with Landry. Reyes, clearly still steaming from the Voodoo incident, follows Castor outside to confront him. Which leads to him beating the living shit out of this kid, for, virtually no reason.

Some are upset with the only Hispanic American in the series being so temperamental. But I think it is almost necessary. Being a straight white male, I don’t think there is anything, anyone can say to me that would cause a reaction like that. Obviously, he took it out on the wrong person, and I am not condoning his behavior, but someone being racially denigrated like that can definitely provoke such an illicit retaliation. Reyes is arrested at practice the next day.

This entire sordid affair turns exceptionally ugly when Reyes first lies to coach and said it was Castor who called him a “wetback”, then he goes to the local “media” and lies to them as well, but includes, “He was saying nasty things about my Mother”. Well, that’s impossible to defend.

Once again we find ourselves at the burger joint, so you know something pivotal is going down. Julie has a quick exchange with Matt and convinces him to go talk with Landry (Matt is really in an unwinnable situation here). Reyes, who is also at the burger joint, notices Matt conversing with Landry, who I assume he knows to be friends with Castor. Reyes comes over and says something to him. Landry starts to storm out but turns around and gets right in Reyes’ face. They stare each other down for what seems like an hour, Landry starts to lose his composure and Reyes simply says, “you’re not worth it” before walking out the door.

Landry runs outside, jumps on his back and unsuccessfully tries to throw him on the ground. The entire scene is squashed before someone else gets put in the hospital. Landry walks away from Matt after saying, “You’re one of them now”. Which isn’t fair, but it works, as Saceran later that night goes to Coach Taylor’s house (Julie answers the door and is noticeably disappointed that Matt is not there to see her) and admits Voodoo was the guilty culprate who made the racist remarks, and Castor is an innocent bystander. “I guess I was just confused by what’s right for the team and… and what’s right”. Well done young man. Women on message boards everywhere are swooning over you, pretending like they would have given you a second look had you attended high school together. Reyes is kicked off the team. A bit idealistic, but, good.

In torrid romance news, Lyla seems to officially end things with Riggins, who begrudgingly agrees.

Jason, on the other hand, is in much better spirits and is even trying to coerce Lyla into sex in his bed, before they are interrupted. The nurse asks Lyla to leave and explains he cannot ejaculate because it can cause a urinary tract/infection. I am uninformed as to whether this is permanent or part of the rehabilitation process, but if its the former… nevermind. I don’t even want to think about it. Jason responds to the news, “I like you Francine, but you sure know how to break a guy’s heart.”

Jason calls Riggins, “Grace period is over, I need you over here”, is essentially all he says. While there, Jason guilt trips him for never visiting him in the hospital or rehab center, Riggins admits he doesn’t like hospitals and offers to sneak him out the next day. Jason, desperate for an escape from reality, does not put up much of a fight.

Riggins loads Jason in the car, clearly he isn’t medically certified and Lyla catches them in the act. At first protests, but when Jason pleads that, “he needs this”, she concedes and goes along. Thank God. I thought Riggins was going to get him booze and a hooker, or kill him so he can have Lyla without the two of them feeling guilty about it. Fortunately those weren’t his intentions, when they stop for snacks Riggins and Lyla go inside with Jason in the car. Riggins, comments on the situation to her, “Do you have to be jamming your tongue down his throat?” So Riggins is jealous of a parapilegic. Honestly, is it that hard for him to let his recently paralyzed best friend to at least have his girlfriend of the past few years? You, Riggins, are not Matt Saracean.

They go out on someone’s boat (assuming it is Lyla’s parents, given how loaded her slimeball father is) subsequently sit around a campfire discussing there friendship. Riggins explains how they can get through this because they can will there way through anything and it resonates for Jason moreso than any of Lyla’s chipper pep talks ever have.

After dropping Jason off and leaving him with the doctors, who are livid, Riggins acknowledges that he has to stop putting his dick inside his best friends potential wife. And I am convinced it was an out of sight out of mind situation. Meaning, when he wasn’t seeing Street everyday, he could pretend like he wasn’t there. Which doesn’t justify either of there actions, but certainly explains them.

They also agree Jason can never know about it. Unfortunately, they have exchange one last long, long, hug. Actually, it is more of an embrace than a hug, and Jason witnesses it suspiciously from the window of his hospital floor. His face drops, and he rolls away from the window dejectedly. This hug could fall under the interpretation of “two friends supporting each other through a trying time”, but when you know two people as well as Street probably knows Riggins and Lyla, you can distinguish a friendly hug from a sign of intimacy.

Other notes:

- Tyra has been asked out by a defensive lineman on the team, and wants Riggins to know about it. They have one of those typical embittered high school exchanges:

Tyra: I just wanted you to know before someone else got beat up like the Castor kid.
Riggins: Don’t flatter yourself.
Tyra: I am the one who’s being an adult here. Douchebag.
Riggins: Classy.

She is also failing Algebra, doesn’t care and wants to move to LA after getting her GED. She even manages to take a cheap shot at Tami while explaining, “I don’t want to live in a small town, with a job like this, married to the football coach”. Classy indeed.

-Voodoo was not kicked off the team last week, and they had a backdoor meeting to sweep any recruiting violations under the table. So, no harm no foul. That is until Taylor tries to fill Reyes’ void on defense with Voodoo, which precedes him to go back to New Orleans when his old high school opens up, and he rats out coach Taylor.

And that is where this episode leaves us.

I have been wondering where in the hell the new Daily Show correspondents came from, as they might be just as good if not better than their predecessors.

I cannot stand this show, but any guy who has been cornered into watching it with his girlfriend has to be thankful.

The heads over at FOX are feeling a little insecure.

Reno 911 is making a movie.

And finally, if you read this blog, then you probably already know about “The Producers Cut” episode of The Office to be posted on NBC.com at 9pm Est. on Thursday night, immediately following the televised airing which can only be dubbed “The TV Cut”.

It seems like months since the last installment of Studio 60. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. This weeks episode entitled “Nevada Day, Part 1″ sort of encompasses everything that is wrong with this series. Whether it be the preachy blue state politics, self-importance or predictable plot, “Nevada Day” has it all.

To demonstrate that I am not all gloom and doom when it comes to this series (or network TV in general), I will concede that Sorkin & Co. do have some moments of clarity. Matt’s aethiest summary of the “culture wars” was definitely agreeable. When evangelical Harriet claims she doesn’t even know what the sides to the “culture wars” are, he responds, “Your side hates my side because you think that we think your stupid, and my side hates your side because we think your stupid.” Good piece of writing and perfectly delivered by Perry.

Obviously, its not that I find fault in the politics of this series. Even if I did, I wouldn’t broach the topic because that’s not what this blog is about. Its just, it seems like every conversation delves into the misconceptions of mainstream America about Hollywood. And for the premise of the show, that is a material worth tackling (even if by doing so, you solidify those conceptions. But whatever). But every scene evolves into some ideological rant.
For instance, on the plane to visit Tom in the incredibly remote city of Pahrump, Nevada (For a Vegas junkie such as myself, I was unaware there were any other cities in Nevada), Danny and Jack discuss the likelihood that Jordan will stay on as Network President. Out of nowhere, Jack utters, “People think hollywood is run by liberals. Its not. Its run by corporations. And you will have a hard time finding and liberals at those board meetings.” Given the context of the discussion, this had little to do with anything they were talking about.
Every time this subject matter is approached, it’s unabashed palpability could easily be confused as Aaron Sorkin labeling himself as persecuted. Simon (DL Hughley) at one point randomly screams, “I can’t believe everyone hates hollywood”. I am sure this isn’t Sorkin’s intention, but no one wants to hear how victimized a collection of millionaires are, even if there is validity to it. Sorry.

And the drama this show tries to manufacture never seems compelling. I am never concerned with the outcome of a character or story. Take “Nevada Day”, for example. In one of the more contrived plots I have watched on television, Harriet is accosted by three gay men coming out of a diner after being misquoted by Page Six about gay marriage. Tom, attempting to defend her, steps in between her and the trinity of agitation, as Harriet and Simon start to pile into a car, Tom pushes one of the men back, he falls, and really melodramatic music kicks in. To be honest, after watching the new Wire episode that was just posted on “HBO On Demand”, this scene was pretty hysterical. That is probably why I categorize this as a comedy, watching some guy lightly fall on his side doesn’t really concern me.

Later, while shooting rehearsing a scene in which Tom plays Jesus, the head of NBS’s, the cops come to pick up Tom for the incident. Coincidentally, not only is he wearing a jacket he borrowed from Simon because he is cold and dressed only in native Jerusalem garb for a sketch, it also has a partially smoked joint in it, which Simon confesses to at least seven or eight times. In addition, Tom is wanted in this small Nevada town for an outstanding speeding ticket, and the joint isn’t discovered until they are in the police station, in Nevada, where marijuana posession/use is a felony. Fantastic! This isn’t even remotely contrived.

John Goodman is not-so-surprisingly hilarious as the quick-witted Nevada judge who resents everything “Studio 60″ represents. He is hyper sensitive to their “edgy” and “secular” material that he takes personal offense to. He is clearly somewhat of a caricature, but before he goes off on a series of self-righteous tirades, he actually manages to make them feel ridiculous.

On the business side of things, Jordan’s ex-husband has an exerpt from the “tell all” book about his former marriage placed in The New York Post. The exerpt details how she hates everyone set aside single professionals without kids. This comes in the wake of Harriet’s page six scandal and Matt planning on running a controversial sketch with Jesus depicted as the head of NBS’s Standard’s and Practices division, which I assume is in place to comply all programming with the FCC.

They end the episode leading us too wonder why Tom was speeding through Nevada, for whatever reason he wants to be discrete about it. I am sure he was wronged in some way, thus justifying his speeding. With what I have come to expect from this show, My guess is he was being threatened by those lunatics who protest soldiers funerals because the federal government does not outlaw homosexuality.

I will ride it out through the second half of this two part episode, but come next Monday I am dropping either this or Nip Tuck as a series I recap. Any preference as to which?

I have some good news, FX has renewed It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia for a third season. This comes as somewhat of a surprise after two seasons of paltry ratings (despite improving dramatically from season one to two), but the new season will be for fifteen episodes, and increase of five after its sophomore effort and eight more than its pilot season. Danny Devito has also agreed to stay with the series through at least six seasons, assuming it has that brand of longevity. If you have never seen the series, as it is somewhat obscure over on FX, here you can watch some clips and read more about it.

As a side note, there has to be a way they get some cameos from professional athletes in the Philly area. Seeing the reactions of Charlie, Mac, Dennis and Dee if Allen Iverson would stumble into there rathole bar would require suspending all disbelief, but prove to be absolutely hilarious.