Grid Effect

I finally watched an episode of Boston Legal last night. And my reaction was… meh. Nothing particularly engaging set aside a few good exchanges inundated with sharp dialogue. The appeal is understandable, but it seems like it would grow tiresome after awhile. I will say James Spader is a really underrated actor though. It also stars the woman who plays Dana Gordon in Entourage as well. All in all, not a total loss. Here are some mid-week links:

A harrowing tale of hardship and despair from Kate Flannery, whom you might know better as Meredith from The Office. It’s really not that dramatic, but I must entice you to read somehow. Clearly I have seen too many human interest Superbowl stories.

According to Virginia Hefferman of the New York Times, MTV’s reality series Two-A-Days is best viewed as a precursor to Friday Night Lights. Normally I don’t condone watching MTV reality/dating shows, as they are generally soulless, hate-mongering exploits showcasing the worst this country has too offer, but hey, if it will attract a wider audience and help keep FNL around for a second season, I am all for it.

Bill Gates laughs at your current TV viewing habits.

Comparing and contrasting Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. Honestly, I am surprised it took this long to find an article along these lines.

This makes you wish you lived in Britian, Doesn’t it? At least they are offering the Gervais-Larry David interview online. However, this could be just as entertaining.

New FNL tonight. It seems more eventful than it should when it’s the only dramatic series I am currently watching.

Sunday night’s Extras was probably my favorite of the short series. It revolved heavily around Stephen Merchant, who very well might be funnier than Gervais as Andy’s bumbling agent. This isn’t meant to be disparaging towards Gervais, who had his own moments (particularly the dinner scene), but Merchant’s comedic timing was impeccable in the conversation with the midget, the television interview and when he was trying to avoid calling the producer for the knock off Harry Potter film.

We should get him together with Dakota Fanning

The plot was fairly simple, Andy gets offered a bit movie role in a new fantasy movie starring Daniel Radcliffe (The kid from the Harry Potter franchise). The midget has a average sized fiance whom everyone questions, Radcliffe is a horny teenager who’s afraid of his mother and Andy, tired of food on set, wants to eat at a “proper resturant” where he unknowingly offends a mother and her mentally handicapped son by asking the waitress to ask the mother and her child to “keep it down”. Andy had his back to their table and the kid had his back to them so it was unbeknownst to him that the kid was disabled.

Anyhow, through a series of misunderstandings, Andy ends up kicked off the film after the midget attacks him and Andy accidentally knocks him out. In addition, he had been ripped to shreds in the tabloids for hating the mentally challenged, where the story had been (obviously) blown out of proportion.

But like I said the episode belonged to Merchant who had several choice lines:

(Taps midget on top of his head to draw his attention) “Could I fit in your house?”

“Andy didn’t know the kid was…mentally deranged. You couldn’t tell if some kid was a mongloid by staring at the back of his head.” -On some British talk show, supposedly defending his client.

“Do you think the producers would buy my TV?” -Merchant trying to sell his television after him and Andy agree it is to big for his apartment.

By the end of the episode, Andy is believed by his peers to dislike the mentally handicapped and midgets all through the fault of his agent and Maggie (who led the midgets wife to believe that Andy thought he could steal her from him solely for being “normal height”). There are only six episodes in this second season, so I assume this is the tipping point that will lead to Andy being an extra again by the time season three is underway.

Welcome back to the work week. I am finally getting around too posting about last Wednesday’s Friday Night Lights, as I have been somewhat unmotivated. Like I said early last week I was relegated too watching this episode on my computer, so the usual play-by-play synopsis that I apply to recapping this series was a viable option, but logistically it was difficult (with distributing sufficient space for me to take notes with and watch the episode). So the recap is more akin to that of the comedies I discuss.

In general, this episode was one of their strongest yet (I am still unsure as to why there was a two week break in between this episode and the one preceeding it, but I guess some things we just weren’t meant to know), Matt’s dad was called up for another tour in Iraq. I am unclear as to how the armed services operates in this regard, but I thought that after he withdrew his services in the first go around, that he would have to revolunteer. Apparently that’s not the case because he is being recalled, maybe I am underestimating the Army’s desperation for troops and that they might now circumvent the rules too attain some. Either way, Saceran is noticeably devastated, but uses football as a deterrant for his temporary depression. He ends up drawing out the play that wins Dillon the game and catapults them into the playoffs.

Smash’s mom discovers his steroid use while cleaning his room. I have always found this too be a weired gimmick used in story lines like this. At 16 or 17 (whichever Smash is), he would know his mom welll enougfh that if he doesn’t keep his room cleaned, his mom will clean it for him. So if you are trying too conceal illicit performance enhancing drugs from her by tucking them in between your nightstand and bed, then why not just keep the room clean? I guess it’s just apathy. But that is quite the dark secret he is keeping.

How Symbolic

Anyways, she immediately goes to school and talks with Smash and Coach Taylor about the recent discovery. Taylor ends up suspending him indefinitely but doesn’t kick him off the team. This is a great plot device from the writers. They can use this infraction to either send Taylor to UT if FNL does not get picked up for a second season, or the Texas High School Athletic Association can discover the cover up, costing Taylor the coaching job at UT. Way to cover all your bases, Peter Berg.

In the world of Lyla and Jason, Lyla’s dad is incredibly candid with Jason explaining why he set his daughter up on a quasi-informal date with some kid from SMU. It is a tough pill too swallow for everyone involved and despite how obnoxious Buddy Garrity is, one can empathize with him. In fact teh speech even makes Street consider breaking up with her for her own benefit. Then after a pep-talk from Herc (who was great in this episode) does a complete 180 and asks Lyla too marry him. Seem like a bold move consider neither of them have graduated from high school yet.

Either way it was a phenomenal episode, with plenty of open ended material to touch on in coming weeks.

Three Office reruns last night so nothing new to discuss and I just watched the new Friday Night Lights at 1am last night so I have yet to get the opportunity to recap it. In the meantime, here are some links:

Speaking of The Office, they relish in their dated musical preferences.

Howard Stern is ponying up for a Superbowl halftime show that pits a team of drag queens versus the technical staff for his radio show in a football scrimmage…. I have so many Tobias Fumke jokes runing through my head I can hardly contain myself.

Some study was conducted somewhere detailing the demographic that typically watches online television. According to said study, this demographic is younger, wealthier and smarter than the traditional TV viewer, so advertisers are now going to target them. Apparently advertisers do not realize they are half the reason individuals watch television online. It’s quite the paradox.

Those Brits, they’re so refined. Only a truly cosmopolitan nation of people would allow their high school students to watch MTV during lunch breaks. Honestly, what’s an education without an episode of Exposed while throwing back some bangers and mash?

Update: I just found this. David Mills (Creator of Deadwood) conducts a two part interview with David Simon (Creator of The Wire). Part one details the inherit social and economic themes of his HBO series, part two describes how he went from being a police beat reporter to a screenwriter.
Part one is particularly interesting, as Simon lays out his opinions on capitalism, rap music, academia, Nemond and Bunny Colvin.

Back later with thoughts on FNL.

After griping yesterday about the dearth of quality series currently airing, I actually forgot to record Friday Night Lights yesterday when I went to play basketball. It hasn’t been posted online yet, so for the time being I will explain why I dislike American Idol.

Regular readers have will have noticed that I seldom post anything about the ratings juggernaut and it might seem peculiar seeing as it would conceivably draw more readers in (given its large fan base). I can certainly understand the appeal to it, the singing, the public denigration, the promise of immediate fame and the ideal venue to judge. But all of those reasons stand to explain exactly why I cannot watch the show.

The concept of humilation on a national scale is something that is relied on way too heavily by the creators of reality television. It gives the viewer someone to point and laugh at, and feel vindicated that they are not the person being embarassed by Simon Cowell. Some are offended by the mean-spiritedness on which shows such as Idol thrive, I am just turned off by the repition. Every single episode for the first few weeks is the same thing.

Some poor schmuck walks into an audition room to a bitter british man, a strung out former pop star and some other guy, nineteen times out of twenty he/she is sent his/her walking papers, with a incredibly callous explanation that we the viewer are supposed to be unprepared for. Unprepared? Cowell just did the same exact thig literally two minutes ago. This goes on several weeks with multiple episodes per week and somehow never loses its widespread appeal. Sorry, but I just don’t get it.

Towards the end of every season, it reverts from the absurd and proposterous to seriousness in which all of a sudden, one third of the country is actually approaching the show with a serious mindset. It goes from being a joke to a humorless talent competition with human interest pieces about the adversity of being a McDonald’s employee with so much “hidden talent”. And the ability to belt out predicatable 80’s vocal tracks becomes an enviable skill. At this point it is basucally Star Search with a viewer vote.

Like I said I can understand the draw, everyone picks a favorite, some send in votes, some are just casual spectators, and the country inevitably picks an attractive woman as their favorite reality lounge act. 8-10 months later, FOX repeats the process. But it is just to redundant for me. Half the season is Simon and his cronies brandishing people unworthy, the second half everything is all business like, and I don’t appreciate “great” singing enough to ever watch the show, so I never write about it.

Sorry, I had to vent my frustrations, I’ll get around to watching FNL later today.

Slow period in television right now. Here are some links to keep you posted on how little is going on:

MTV Reality series have upset yet another small community. This time it’s Maui.

The ratings for Sopranos reruns plummeted from week one to week two. Many are blaming it on going head-to-head with American Idol in its second week. I think the problem is two-fold, between increased competition and the atrocious editing job they did to make the series accessible for basic cable.

Forbes Magazine named the twenty richest women in entertainment. No surprise Oprah is still locking down the top spot. What is surprising, and a bit vexing at that, is Judge Judy is sitting comfortably at #13 with $95 million dollars to her name.

Here’s a synopsis of The Colbert-O’Reilly interviews. I never followed up on it because I would categorize the experience as relatively underwhelming, just felt too rehearsed so to speak. Though I will say this, I have never seen O’Reilly nervous on his own show, which he clearly was last Thursday.

Aaron Sorkin, creator of series such as Sports Night and The West Wing has conceded that his new series, Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip does indeed have many smug overtones to it. That took a while.

Wow. If Courtney Cox making out with Jennifer Aniston fails to attract the superficial 18-34 male audience to FX’s series Dirt, then I don’t know what will. Albeit it would have been a lot more appealing 7-10 years ago, and the whole thing seems contrived; but still, most guys my age are not that hard to please.

That’s it for the links. If something even remotely interesting happens in the world of television today, I will be back to discuss it.

Yesterday, I forgot to post about Sunday’s most recent Apprentice episode, mainly because it departed from my memory banks within seconds after turning off the television. But I thought I should give sound reasoning for yet another show I am discontinuning from my weekly lineup.

For starters, Survivor is returning on February 8th, and my head would explode if I were to regularly view two reality series. But more importantly, there are seemingly no likeable contestants this season, which might be an unfair assessment this early in the show, because all three episodes have focused solely on one team, and they have been portrayed as anything but redeemable. As far as the other team is concerned, I could name two of the nine contestants:

Heidi, the team leader who is the beneficiary of entirely too much screentime without having to remove her clothing (This joke isn’t off limits because on her own volition she was in a playboy video several years back. Sorry, we reap what we sew). Marisa, the most disenfranchised of the eight other contestants that Heidi is recognized so regularly yet probably unfairly. That’s it. The other seven I am relegated physical descriptions: The white guy, the middle eastern guy, the black girl, the blond-haired girl with the glasses, the blond haired girl without the glasses, the diry blond and the female olympian.

This is tantamount to several things. I will concede that with only an hour to spare, it is virtuatlly impossible to evenly distribute camera time to eighteen different contestants, but just in terms of dividing it up between the two teams, the losing team has been receiving roughly 80% of the challenge period, then about 90% of the off-challenge time for the boardroom and whatnot. I have no idea if Heidi is deserving of all of the credit Trump is giving her, and it didn’t help this week that her team was given a repreive from this weeks challenge, which only skewed the camera time even more so.

But too quickly summarize, the remaining eight contestants split into two separate teams to give tours around the LA area. Aaron and Michelle were appointed captains, with the former volunteering and the latter being appointed. They pick teams, Michelle ends up with Nicole, Tim and Frank (Tim being the lone competent voice amongst the four); and Aaron picking Steffani and James. Michelle is horrendous as a PM, and her tour, much like all tours, is really unappealing. Aaron’s team does some research on tours already setup and interviews the patrons on the buses. He isn’t the best public speaker in the world, as demonstrated when he is leading the tour, but Steffani quickly takes over the reigns and all works smoothly.

They end up running away with the contest with a 82%-58% approval rating. Michelle offers her resignation, Trump scolds her and idly threats she is still going to fire one of her teammates. It doesn’t disuade her. Trump and his two kids are quick too point out that she wouldn’t be quitting had she won, she responds in kind that she isn’t all that receptive to having to sleep outside and endure the elements. It’s childish, but that’s exactly what this show is, now. And, just like Heidi, we reap what we sew, Trump.

After being repeatedly verbally dismissed for her character and decision, Michelle leaves with a semblance of her dignity intact (though, like previously mentioned, she wouldn’t be leaving had she won, so she can hardly claim to being above any of this). Minutes later Nicole, Tim and Frank get a call that there will be no boardroom. Ho-hum, none of them have a prayer anyways.

Just too summarize, we have fifteen contestants left, nine of which are almost non-existent, the same depleted team is living in tents with the loser stigma attached to them and the winning team has been given a week off and still has all nine players intact. Oh, and they are still living in a mansion. So, yeah, count me out. As it stands now I wouldn’t be too thrilled with whoever won, either because I have a defeatus opinion of the contestant, or I do not know his/her name, either way it’s just not entertaining, and its certainly not interesting.

This decision takes me down too three series I am currently viewing and enjoying: The Office, Extras and Firday Night Lights. Needless too say I am running out of material.

Last night was something of a turning point in Extras, obviously nothing too dramatic, but the setbacks of artistically sacrificing his show at the BBC’s insistence came to fruition for Andy this week. It seems that the minute noteriety that “When The Whistle Blows” has brought him comes from all the wrong people, which is understandable, given the shows content.

First, a yokul in a bar and his gaggle of friends have an obsession with the series. Not only are they invasive and obnoxious, they’re persistent as well. Second, Andy is recognized by a homeless panhandler who so much as extorts $20 out of him as a result of knowing he’s on television. Third, he is publicily humiliated at a an upscale night club by David Bowie. The unfortunate scene with his idol, leads to Andy reverting back to the same bar where he was hounded by the collection of simpletons to bolster his now completely shattered ego.

Even when he tries to force his celebrity on someone to his advantage it seems to backfire. In this case Maggie was more to blame than anyone, but Andy should no better than to use her as an accomplice, as she is kind of dim. In this ruse, Andy has an attractive neighbor move in next door to him and asks Maggie too approach him as a random fan looking for an autograph while she is moving boxes from her car to apartment. The exchange between the Maggie and Andy in front of this unsuspecting woman is one of the better in the series:

Andy: Who should I sign this for?
Maggie: Me.
Andy: Well I don’t know you now, do I?
Maggie: Maggie… Thank you Andy Mellman, you are the best comedic actor on television.
Andy: I wouldn’t say that.
Maggie: But that’s what you told me to say.
(A few awkward glances and failed recovery’s later, Andy resigns and begins walking into his apartment)
Maggie: Can I come up with you?
Andy: Yep.

It seems the fame Andy was seeking from his series is ill-gotten, and all he has left now is a bar full of unwanted fans. One would hope Andy avoids the detriment of selling out and eventually parlays whatever success he gets from “When The Whistle Blows” into a respectable comedy, though my guess is by the end of the second season he is working as an extra again.

Interesting Office episode last night. It focused on plot development for the most part in almost instantaneously bringing back Dwight and may have gotten rid of Andy and potentially Karen. If they are not gone after last night’s episode, they are certainly being handed their walking papers.

The grimaced look on Jim’s face when Karen asked Jim if he “still had feelings” for Pam, it just read that he didn’t want to have any interest in her, but he can’t help himself. All I could think was, “I hope I am never like that”. I liked how the writers portrayed Jim’s realization about Pam, after searching far and wide for a confidante to pull a prank of Andy, he resorted back to his old alliance, knowing full well how uncomfortable it would make his current girlfriend (Despite that he asked her to participate, which it seemed like he knew he would get a cold shoulder because he asked Ryan first).

The prank, in and of itself had monumentous results. The look on Stanley’s face when they chucked the cell phone down the ventilator was priceless. I also appreciated how they knew Andy would be too oblivious to understand what was taking place. Even with Pam and Jim constantly being on the phone, and there conspicuous dissapearance together coupled with the prevalent noise of Andy’s cell phone rattling through the ventilator, he was still too self-invovled to discern who the culprates were. Also, if you are so irritating that even Michael Scott is dismissive of you’re camaraderie, who’s as desperate for attention as anyone I have ever seen depicted on television, then I do not know how you can function in society.

The secondary story last night involved the Michael-Angela-Dwight triumverate. Angela explaining to Michael the reason behind Dwight’s trip to New York, didn’t really seem that complicated. I guess she was worried about getting fired. But why would she have Dwight sacrifice his job for hers. I mean, I understand it’s the chivalrous thing to do, but how about a little decorum? I never thought I would see Angela cry, especially not apologetically to a gay man. She must have really been distraught.

Some choice lines:

“Congratulations universe… you win.” -Jim after he admits to missing Dwight, relative to Andy.

“And I’m sorry for away those certain things transpired.” -Angela distraught about Dwight being gone, apologizing to Oscar.

“They use to arrange the toys on my desk in a very pleasing way.” -Michael, confusing Dwights early morning work with the night crews.

“”Which is ebonics for being in my face and annoying the bejesus out of me”. -Michael, expressing his frustration with Andy.

“Each client is password protected with a different mythical creature.” -Karen, taking over Dwight’s client folder.

“I don’t understand how someone could have so little self-awareness.” -Michael, himself so oblivious that he misses the irony in this statement. And if you are unaware of what IO’m talking about, then you probably do not watch the show.

Dwight: I don’t want to do your laundry anymore.
Michael: Well, we can talk about that.

“I don’t want someone sucking up to me because they think I am going to help there career… I want someone sucking up to me, because they genuinely love me”. -Michael, after rehiring Dwight.

Overall, an above average episode, anytime they can effectively mix humor with story, I am on board.

Just a quick reminder about tonight’s television options, Bill O’Reilly and Stephen Colbert are going too be on each others talks shows tonight. The O’Reilly Factor is on at 8pm et. on FOX News, and The Colbert Report airs at 11:30pm et. on Comedy Central. If for whatever reason you cannot catch the first run of either of these, O’Reilly’s show reruns at 11pm and for the nocturnal and college students alike, again at 4am. Colbert’s show reruns at 1:30am, then tomorrow at 8:30am, 2:30pm and 8pm. All times listed are standard eastern and all replays are on the home networks for the two respective shows. Enjoy.

With Friday Night Lights in reruns last night, that makes three straight days without any decent scripted television (short of The Daily Show and Colbert Report). So what beter time for some links:

Survivor is going last for at least sixteen total seasons. The network must be pessimistic about its longevity, because a two season extension is somewhat underwhelming.

You stay classy, FOX. Seriously, stay classy. We don’t have enough implied subjugation in this country without you making a reality show perpetuatiing it.

Not surprisingly, the recent ousted Apprentice contestant, Carey, is agitated with the plethora of backhanded insults towards his sexual orientation on Sunday’s episode.

It comes as expected that Kevin Federline has to be self-deprecating too stay in the public eye.

Apparently, I waasn’t the only one who thought Maria Menounos stage exit interviews were comically terrible. Of course, I am not a producer on the show. Some of them didn’t find it so hysterical.

Sounds like Ricky Gervais is enjoying that extra money from exporting The Office, because now he wants too make a US version of Extras. In related news, Ken Jennings, yes, of Jeopardy fame, thinks the US version of The Office is “contrived” when compared to its British predecessor. Amazingly enough, on his blog, everything isn’t described in the form of a question.

Jesus, when I was six, and up until I completed first grade, I lived in Muncie, Indiana; the city where they shoot the new CBS reality series Armed and Famous. And now, the mayor sees it as a positive experience. Lets just hope this is an example of small town, midwestern cordialness and they do not actually believe that anything positive can come from having Wee-man and Latoya Jackson wreak havoc on their quite town.

Some Brits are upset with Ricky Gervais believing that he referred to them as idiots for being incapable of grasping the humor in American shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Simpsons. While I have never heard him call anyone an idiot, he has implied that a US audience has a more refined sense of humor, which one can intepret however they want. While series’ like his, CYE and Arrested Development do indicate a fundemental understanding of intelligent humor, other shows like According To Jim and Two and A Half Men do not. So don’t feel too down, British people. We have plenty of low brow comedy in this country that gets much better ratings than anything Gervais watches.

Most people are completely unaware of the series Extras for two reasons: One, though it airs on HBO in the states, it originally aired on The BBC, as it is yet another series imported from Britain by comedic gadfly Ricky Gervais. So, while it is on the best network for original programming, this isn’t an HBO produced series and they do not advertise it like they normally would. Two, its first season was only six episodes, giving only a small time-frame for word of mouth to get around. But that doesn’t diminish the creative quality of the series.

The premise for the first season was Andy (Gervais), left a decent paying career too roll the dice as a struggling actor/writer, but for the most part all he can find work in is as a background extra (hence the title). He and female counterpart Maggie Jacobs (played by the understated Ashley Jensen) comment and discuss everything about working on set, from Maggies pursued relationships too attempting conversation with recognizable lead actors/directors/producers (Every week there is a A-list guest star playing a parody of him/herself: Kate Winslet, Smauel L. Jackson, Patrick Stewart, etc).

At the beginning of the second season which premiered on HBO on Sunday night, Maggie and Andy were separated for the majority of the half hour. Andy, now working on his own series, is disappointed because the BBC is forcing him too compromise his artistic integrity for the sake of fan fare and ratings. While Maggie, still an extra, is being continually denigrated by fellow cohorts, and socially harassed by Orlando Bloom, who cannot believe that Maggie doesn’t find him physically irresistible.

The episode had its high moments, particularly one in which Andy “took a stand” against The BBC for turning his series into a series consisting of props and catch phrases. And we are also accustomed too more Stephen Merchant playing Andy’s inept agent, Darren Lamb. Merchant co-created this series with Gervais as well as the British version of The Office, has typically been behind the scenes, with the exception of small doses of him in the first season.

My only complaint about the second season debut, was it lacked the dynamic of Maggie and Andy that I thought made the first season exempolary (Maggie’s appeal grows exponentially when she and Andy are playing off each other). But it detracted from the episode greatly, as watching Andy and Maggie talk, probably accounted for 70% of all scenes in the first season. I am optimistic that more and more of the second season will take place off set, as Andy and Maggie both compliment each other.

Just as a programming note, Extras airs on Sunday nights at 10pm et. But every new episode is posted on HBO On Demand the Monday before it premieres on HBO (six days in advance). I guess HBO is doing this too attract an audience with its series that are somewhat under the radar (much like they did/do with The Wire).

I have been late on posting about last Sunday’s Apprentice episode, mainly because I have been relatively busy, but also because I am not sure if there is anything new too say about this episode that I didn’t say in the season opener. Outside of the actual detail, it was all pretty similar. This week we got team names, more infighting and more petty self-righteousness.

Just a quick synopsis, the two teams, now named Arrow (last week Frank was PM, this week Nicole) and Kinetic (Heidi’s team), competed in the fashion industry. Each team was too design five different bathing suits and make them appealing to distributors in a mini fashion show setup on the beach. Heidi’s team, the team that won last week, won again by a little less than $1,000 over new PM Nicole’s team. And with yet another twist, the winning team not only gets reward along with the PM (Still Heidi) sitting in on the boardroom, they also are exempt from next weeks challenge.

Look at the sound business practice on display.

In the boardroom, Carey, the gay black man is ridiculed for his design of the, um, revealing pink swimsuit made for the mens line (They destroyed Heidi’s team in sales of the womens line, but they only sold $350 worth of the mens swimsuits in a project in which they netted over $!9,000). During the challenge, no one really objected other than Michelle, so no one else really has a foot too stand on and for whatever reason, Carey was targeting Michelle’s ouster, most likely because she disagreed with him, but if someone disagreed with you and they ended up being right, it is in your own best interest too find another target. There is also an undercurrent of homophobia throughout much of this session, and Carey is “fired” under arguable circumstances, since we never saw anyone else offer up any design suggestions. Heidi also seems too target Carey, probably because he seems like formidable competition. But she gets too sit in her chair with that smug, obnoxious grin; and pretend she is operating objectively. Between him, Nicole and Michelle, Carey clearly appears to be the most threatening between these three.

Also, what does designing a swimsuit have too do with overseeing the development of a condominium that Trump is able too afford through ducking his creditors with an army of lawyers? If he was firing Carey because he was indignant, didn’t work well within the team or was anything less than magnanimous and articulate, I could understand it. But because he couldn’t design a marketable mens swimsuit? Basically this project shouldn’t ever existed.

In one instance that may indicate the world is passing by Donald Trump, the reward was a visit too the Playboy Mansion. Considering the winning team is comprised of seven women, one gay guy and one timid, straight guy, this probably wasn’t regarded as ideal gratuity. The entire concept is shrouded in mystery. Heidi got a personal introduction to The Hef from Donald (even though the entire team met him before Trump even arrived), but there was no mention that she used too work for him. I would assume he doesn’t remember it, but I am sure she does vividly.

Are they the inhabitants or the guests at the Playboy Mansion?

The entire scene was really unsettling. Like I wasn’t given enough information too formulate a knowledgeable opinion. Too much wallowing about having too live in tents or disagreement amongst contestants that had no effect on the outcome. It really isn’t a contest so much as a guessing game. Usually one can deduct who is getting axed, but there were about four other people one could have chosen and it would have made as much, if not more sense than the Carey outing (no pun intended).

Too help illustrate what is inanity of this series, here are a few choice lines, this will probably be a weekly feature:

“For the first time in my life I felt really sad, like a real sense of nausea.” -Frank, commenting on his teams loss. A little melodramatic.

“…That’s why I’m here. It takes guts in business and it takes guts too work for Mr. Trump.” -Nicole, on modeling one of her teams own swimsuits. Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive, if you work for Donald Trump then you will effectively work in business. In other words, she just said the same thing twice.

“That pain won’t last long, but we will forever have the glory of winning this task.” -Nicole again, attempting to motivate her team. Hey Nicole, you’re on a reality show, its not that big of a deal.

Overused phrases/words: “Ram-rodded”, “price point” and “step/stepping up”.

Carey said the team will not win if they do not win the next task, he could very well be right, but the discrepancy in privilege between the two teams is ridiculous. One in tents, one in a “mansion” with a pass on the next competition and now two more players.

I know I promised synopsis’ of The Apprentice and Extras, and I’ll get to that in the near future. But tonight I decided to log the Golden Globes. I am not sure why I am doing this, today is my birthday and I am logging a second-tier award show? Shouldn’t I at least be getting drunk? Never mind. Also, Forgive any possible typos, I wrote this as the show aired and was typing a mile a minute. If I missed anything, blame it on my lack of an editor…

8pm- The show kicks off immediately, everyone is already glossy-eyed as the Geroge Clooney reads the nominees for best supporting actress in a comedy or musical. It goes to Jennifer Hudson for her role in Dreamgirls. Haven’t seen it, but apparently everyone else has as she makes some joke that I don’t get. She holds back the tears and thanks literally everyone she can identify.

8:06- Justin Timberlake hands out the award for best song, they introduce him as “star of the film Alpha Dog“, how has Timberlake gone from easy boy band target to “film star”? The award goes to Prince for his song in Happy Feet (Is Prince really an appropriate correlation for a kids movie?). His music plays for an elongated ten to fifteen seconds before the producers realize he isn’t there.

8:11- Adrian Grenier and Eva Longoria are paired together as the two non-believeable actors on commercially viable series, unfortunately they are not announced as such. They introduce someone who gets the title of “Miss Golden Globe” named Lorraine Nichols. Who else is in favor of abandoning arbitrary titles? Anyways, they present Jeremy Irons with the award as best supporting actor in a miniseries or TV movie.

8:15- David Spade and Tina Fey present the award for best actress in a dramatic series. It should go to Edie Falco, Evangeline Lilly is the crowd favorite, it goes to Kyra Sedgwick for The Closer. She makes a joke about making Nicholson laugh and how pleased she is with herself. It is clearly the first time she has won an award like this.

8:24- Some woman introduces Babel as the first film nominated for best drama, never saw it, but would like too at some point. Looks like Traffic crossed with Syriana.

8:25- Rene Zellwegger salutes the Hollywood foreign press. Someone is making a bid for next years show. She introduces Phillip Burke, who is their president. He is as uptight as one would assume him to be. The crowd is laughing either with him or at him, it’s hard too tell.

8:28- Jessica Biel and P. Diddy present the award for best supporting actress in a mini series, TV Special or comedy. Goes to Emily Blunt, no idea who she is but good lord is she easy on the eyes. As any smart up and coming actress, she is sure too pontificate about the brilliance of everyone in the room.

8:31- The entire cast of Heroes goes on stage to present the award for best Actor in a drama. Two of them actually speak, Hugh Laurie takes it for his provocative role as the rogue doctor in House.

8:40- Charlie Sheen introduces Bobby, the second film nominated for Best Picture. He forces his brother, Emilio Estevez, the diector of the film (his first since Men At Work, too stand up and accept applause. Emilio hesitates, Sheen forces the issue, something tells me this isn’t the first time they have gone through this.

8:42- Steve Carell presents the award for best animated feature film, what I have come to understand is that Cars is a lock. Because it is talking cars instead of animals. I am pulling for Monster House because humans are protrayed through the wonder of digital animation. But it goes to Cars. I was talking with a friend earlier today, we capped at twenty years before Hollywood acting is a non-existent profession.

8:46- Joaquin Phoenix presents the award for best actress in a motion picture motion or comedy. Toni Collette is the crowd favorite for Little Miss Sunshine along with Meryl Streep for The Devil Wears Prada. I would prefer Collette but predictably it goes to Streep, who could now build a small fort inside her large mansion with all the awards she has won. She cracks a joke about having literally worked with everyone in the room, its probably not stretching the truth too egregiously. Anette Bening is seemingly hammered. Streep thanks our new found friend Emily Blunt, not sure for what reason but it throws her back on screen, so I am not complaining. Streep does bring up a great point in that up until now most of the critically acclaimed films were unavailable to most of the country, so why would anyone be watching this show? A question I didn’t bother too ask myself.

8:55- Ben Stiller introduces the first film nominated for Best Musical or Comedy, Borat. Ben Stiller refers to it as one of the best comedies of all time. It is a little flummoxing to see Baron Cohen out of character.

8:57- Selma Hayek presents the award for best Mini Series or TV Movie. I can’t shake the image of her dancing in From Dusk Till Dawn, which is a good thing. It goes to Elizabeth I, never watched it, still don’t care to. I think every non US-born nominee has to be considered a front runner at this point.

9:00- Rachel Wiesz presents the award for best supporting actor in a dramatic motion picture. Should go to Wahlbergs turn in The Departed, goes to Eddie Murphy in Dreamgirls, which seems like a win for familiarity/seniority. Wahlberg never had a chance, probably as a result of leading The Funky Bunch at one point in time. In case you’re wondering, that is two for Elizabeth I in the mini-series categories and two for Dreamgirls.

9:06- Sarah Jessica Parker introduces the 2nd film for Best Comedy in The Devil Wears Prada, apparently Emily Blunt was the third lead in it. From what I can gather, the tone of this film is akin to that of Desperate Housewives, which makes me glad I didn’t watch it.

9:09- Sienna Miller and Terrence Howard present the award for Best Actor In a Mini series or made for TV movie. I don’t think I have ever seen any of these nominees other than Andre Braugher in Thief. For whatever reason there are seven contenders in this category, Bill Neigh wins it, he also thanks Emily Blunt, who the hell is this woman and where did she come from?

9:11- Someone presents the award for best actress in a mini series or TV movie, Annette Bening is still tossing them back. Helen Mirren is nominated twice and wins it for Elizabeth I. That makes three.

9:17- Cameron Diaz introduces the third film for best drama in The Departed, my personal choice, but as I have said I never saw Babel. This is a great film, but not Scorsese’s best. He might get it by default, though.

9:19- Hillary Swank and Jake Gyllenhaal present the award for best screenplay. Little Children and Notes on a Scandal are both nominated, along with The Departed. I plan on seeing the first two this weekend and wouldn’t be overly disappointed if any of these three won. So naturally, this guy Gordon wins it for The Queen, and we get out first transparently influenced political speech of the night. That takes real balls coming from the unrecognizable writer.

9:22- Vanessa Williams and Tim Allen present the award for best actor in a TV series or comedy. Should go to Carell for a second straight year… and it goes to Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock, they don’t want to be redundant and he is good enough in the role. He says he wants to share with us that he is glad the statue wasn’t too heavy due too his recent hernia surgery. Nicely played, Alec, nicely played.

9:29- Geena Davis and James Woods present the award for best comedy TV series. Entourage or The Office would be suitable. They show a dramatic scene from Desperate Housewives which is weird, considering the show is only so funny too begin with. I have a rule of thumb I live by, and that is if a series is referred to as “Delicious” in its own trailer, I cannot watch it. My guess is Ugly Betty is taking it home, possibly Weeds, which I really want too start watching. Goes too Ugly Betty, my premonition was correct. Still have never had the opportunity too watch it, but the cast and crew seems elated. The cast for The Office would probably be yawning up there at this point.

9:34- Jamie Foxx gets on stage and yammers about people in the audience before he introduces the third nominee for best musical or comedy, Dreamgirls. He is in the adapted stage play, so it’s an odd decision.

9:36- The father from Blood Diamond and Sharon Stone present the award for best foreign language film, I would assume Eastwood and Gibson are the favorites for Letters From Iwo Jima and Apocalypto, but I tend too believe it will be a long time coming before Gibson is ever honored with anything ever again. Maybe if the International media consisted of Iran and Palestine, he would probably be a synch for every award available. As far as Eastwood is concerned, the show doesn’t seem too be going the away of The American… and I am wrong. Eastwood takes it, which is appropriate because that film is unreal. Spielberg co-produced it, usually he throws his name all over a project to help generate an audience, wonder what was different here. This was actually a really strong category along with Volver and Pan’s Labyrinth.

9:44- Jeremy Irons introduces the 4th film nominated for best drama, The Queen. Probably is a decent picture, but I am so back logged in unseen films it will be awhile before I get to it.

9:46- Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymoore point out that Prince was caught in traffic, and did indeed come out to the show, I find the whole thing vexing. The guy sticks out like a sore thumb. They are presenting the award for best score, it goes to some guy for The Painted Veil, I thought that movie just recently had its limited release. I enjoy films of the art house variety, but these are all so obscure and recent that virtually no one has seen them.

9:48- Jennifer Love Hewitt and John freakin’ Stamos present the award for best actress in a comedy, goes to America Ferrara for her semi-title role in Ugly Betty. She is really overwhelmed, like “Carmella Soprano trying too throw Tony out of the house” overwhelmed. See, sometimes acting just comes naturally. NBC makes her talk to the the award show version of a sideline reporter at this thing, the woman is really abrasive when she finally gets around to Ferrara, in what is the best awkward moment of the night, the interviewer asks Ferrara, “So what do you want to say too all of those who didn’t want you to play Ugly Betty?” To which Ferrara replies, “Um, I don’t know who they are”. This pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the butchered exchange.

9:59- Tom Hanks rants and raves about the size of Warren Beatty’s balls, apparently Beatty is getting some sort of lifetime achievement award. Hanks follows up, “And by balls I mean artistic vision”. They run down all the meaningful films he has either been involved in, it is exceptional. This is quite the ego stroke as it is about fifteen minutes long, Hanks does a good job with the detail in bouncing back and forth between humor and sincerity. From the montage of films, the one I need too see that I have yet to is Reds.

10:10- Beatty incorporates others from his generation into his acceptance speech, explaining how Nicholson and Eastwood have brought about feelings of insecurity with their recent success. Obviously just good-natured ribbing, even if it is true.

10:21- Dustin Hoffman introduces Little Miss Sunshine as the fourth film nominated for best musical or comedy. This or Borat would be approved recipients of the award.

10:23- Spielberg presents the award for best director in a motion picture drama. The crowd favorite is Scorsese and he collects the hardware. Eastwood was nominated for both of his war epics so he probably split his votes. The two nominees for The Queen and Babel simply lack the star power. So it makes sense Scorsese gets it for The Departed.

10:30- Reese Witherspoon presents the award for best actor in a comedy or musical motion picture, predictably and understandably it goes to Cohen for Borat. He leads off like he is going to bash America, because everyone is so sensitive to the prospect by saying, “I saw a side of America that rarely sees the light of day…” then follows it up with “And that would be my co-stars anus and testicles”. Too summarize, he gets really graphic about the experience of shooting that particular scene. The guy is in the audience, and doesn’t look amused, though it is probably part of the bit.

10:35- Dane Cook introduces Thank You For Smoking as the fifth and final film nominated for best musical or comedy.

10:37- Jennifer Lopez, the host of that hot new dancing reality show, is still getting offers to show up at these things as she gives out the award for best musical or comedy: Dreamgirls. The producer for the film accepts it and refuses too get off the stage as the exit music tries to destroy his will, but he perseveres and finishes up his speech. They are really rushing things to meet the time restraints.

10:43- Courtney Cox and David Arquette present the award for best TV Drama, goes to Grey’s Anatomy. I am not sure why I am even logging this, because this award show lacks all credibility with The Wire not even being nominated, much less a kitschy hospital dramedy getting the top award in television.

10:45- Phillip Seymour Hoffman presents the award for best actress in a motion picture drama. This is probably the strongest category, but the way the show has gone, Helen Mirren is a foregone conclusion in getting it for The Queen. Her speeches are incredibly literal and capricious, its the acceptance speech equivalent to Ben Stein from The Wonder Years.

10:51- Felicity Huffman presents the award for best actor in a motion picture drama. It rightfully goes to Forest Whitaker for his role as Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland. It’s getting a national release on Friday, I strongly recommend it. Surprised he got it over DiCaprio, whom the international media loves. But again, much like Eastwood for best director, DiCaprio was nominated twice in this category and probably split his votes.

11:00- Arnold Schwarzenegger presents the award for Best Motion Picture Drama on crutches. It unexpectedly goes to Babel over The Departed. It comes as a surprise because it had been shut out until this point. And really makes no sense.

A pretty tame award show, I guess that’s what happen when all of the film nominees tend too fall on the dreary side. Too be honest, this was a fucking marathon. I doubt I have it in me for the The Oscars.

Just a quick word about last Thursdays The Office, I love the concept of demonstrating the sales department “in action” so to speak. Considering the series takes place inside a place of employment, I can only help but let curiousity get the best of me and wonder how these eccentric personalities actually have jobs.

The basic premise of the episode, in case you missed it, was the eight members of Dundler-Mifflin paper sales all went out on sales calls in four teams of two.

Michael and Andy made up the first team, while Michael (who is apparently a decent salesman) made decent headway with potential clients, Andy continued too chime in and deter a customer from whatever repore Michael was establishing. When in the car and outside of varying businesses, Andy, for whatever reason, made it his personal vendetta too disparage Dwight and diminish whatever laudatory opinions Michael may have of his overly-loyal protege. As transparent and pathetic as the attempts were, they eventually worked when Andy found a parking ticket

Karen and Phyllis made up the lone female team. Not much emphasis placed on them, other than Phyllis’ sales approach is too design her hair after the customers spouse. In this case, it was an 80’s Goodfellas motif straight out of the catalog of northeastern stereotypes. Also, she brought Karen up to date about Jim’s former/current infatuation with Pam, too which Karen later grilled Jim on, and extracted what can be at best labeled an uncomfortable response.

Ryan got paired up with Stanley, and was a nice contrast between the embittered, disinterested, veteran salesman and the up and coming, somewhat impressionable rookie.

And the highlight pairing of the episode, Dwight and Jim, who despite all of their differences, actually work well as a team. The bit with the customer service followed by Jim hanging up on Kelly and Dwight going for the jugular was one of the better scenes in the three seasons of The Office.

Of course Dwight is coming back, but how long will the hiatus be?

It seems like I resort to this all too often, but this was certainly one of the better episodes of the season. It focused on work oriented, office peccadillo’s and relegated the inter-office relationships gimmick as a side bar (i.e. Dwight sacrificing his job to keep his relationship with Angela a secret and the Jim/Pam/Karen triad).

This was one of the more quotable episodes as well:

“It’s like we’re touring The Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory and falling off the boat one by one… well guess what? I am not falling in the chocolate river.” -Andy, explaining the quick demise of the Stamford people in Scranton.

“Wow, that is a long story, but quite well told, Michael. The part I really found interesting was the part about Dwight going behind your back and being an awful person.” -Andy, After Michael explained the back story to why Dwight is doing his laundry.

“Schruted it … I don’t know where it comes from though. I think it comes from Dwight Schrute in sales.” -Andy, describing his botched sales attempt.

“Thats got my pager number, my cell number, my home number and my other pager number. I never take any vacations, I never get sick and I do not celebrate any major holidays”. -Dwight, closing the sale with one customer.

“You seem so happy, I bet you wish you were like this most of the time.” -Pam to Angela

“Fool me once, Strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.” -Michael

“My girlfriend is attractive and intelligent. She could be a model or a professor. Most guys find her intimidating.” -Dwight, describing his girlfriend, though unbeknownst to Jim, it is Angela.

“It is me leaving today, but in the end, we’ll all fall.” -Dwight, in his parting words too the office.

“One of my dreams was to die at this desk.” -Dwight, on his discontentment with being fired.

Back with thoughts on last nights Aprrentice and the second season premiere of Extras.