Grid Effect

There hasn’t been a decent series on Tuesday night’s since Friday Night Lights moved to Wednesdays, and god knows how long before then. So here are some links to brighten up your day:

The Oscar’s toppled last years audience by one million viewers. How? Why would more people tune in to watch Degeneres than Stewart? When you consider that this year’s nominees were even less recognizable than 2005, it is exceptionally baffling.

Speaking of The Oscars, Jerry Seinfeld’s appearance on Sunday night has led the masses to believe he was auditioning for next year’s hosting duties. What I don’t understand is, is that really something Seinfeld has to audition for? He’s the most successful TV sitcom comedian of all time. If he walked up to the producers before the 2006 show and said, “I want this gig”, are they going to bump him for Ellen Degeneres? Seems unlikely.

Disabled activists are “outraged” by Heather Mills’ plans to compete on Dancing With The Stars. What exactly are people nonchalant about these days? I mean, I am “outraged” by this show, the existence of someone like Heather Mills and the people who are outraged by Heather Mills’ plans to compete on the series; but you don’t see me taking a call to action. Maybe Heather Mills should take that undeserved divorce settlement she defrauded from one of the greatest rock legends of all time and leave everyone the fuck alone. Maybe people who watch this dreck will be asphyxiated by their own simplicity and it won’t get any ratings. And maybe these activists will find something better to protest for, say, more funding for medical research. Until then, I have no hope for any of the parties involved.

Finally, Jennifer Aniston is dating a cameraman she met on the set of Dirt. It makes sense, she has probably had her fill of the celebrity scene. Though with the way Aniston’s professional and personal luck has been going lately he is going to end up dumping her. Never the less, this guy must have really been caught off guard.

I am late to posting about last Thursday’s The Office, mainly because I was somewhat disappointed with the episode. It had some humorous antidotes and definitely moved the plot along, but unfortunately I am not interested in any plots coming out of this series.

I watched a Jerry Seinfeld interview last night on Sit Down With David Steinberg, and he said that while developing episodes for his hit series, comedy was the primary concern. Most series that followed Seinfeld concerned themselves with constructing sound plot devices (Ross and Rachel) or rehashing old jokes (”We were on a break”).

I am probably overly-critical of this series because I laughed pretty consistently throughout Thursday nights half hour. But as I have mentioned before I have set the bar really high for Gary Daniels and the rest of the writing staff. So when the episode revolves around the budding relationship of Roy and Pam, it is really distracting. And seeing their relationship falter yet again as a result of Pam’s new “self-empowering” tactics kind of bored me (Though it was damn hilarious when Kenny out of nowhere picked up a chair and hurled it at the bar).

The other two relationships on the show (Jim-Karen, Michael-Pam), have no staying power. Karen’s prank on Jim was just bizarre, and did she take into consideration he didn’t seem too care? I don’t want to call it mean-spirited because that just seems melodramatic, but there are degrees of pranks that would be deemed “off limits”, particularly when a significant other is involved. But again, the state of any relationship on this show puts me to sleep. I guess I’m just confused, are we supposed to like Karen or hate Karen? If this were The Wire it would make more sense, but this is a half hour sitcom on NBC, it isn’t that complex.

Michael’s behavior reached new cringe-worthy heights this week. Jan’s motivations are befuddling, Why would she drag Michael into a bathroom for sex immediately after he embarrassed the two of them in front of company executives? I know her therapist told her to embrace some of her unhealthy tendencies, but in order for this to be explained (Because again, there are certain threshholds that one restrains from pulling) we need to be introduced to her shrink at some point.

Also, nothing Creed said was funny, but his mannerisms with greeting a group of minors in a bar that he had produced fake ID’s for, was definitely in character. I like how he manages to only get one scene every week and it’s always memorable.

Only a couple decent lines:

“Why don’t I want to go? I don’t know any of these people, its an obligation. I don’t like talking about paper with my free time. Did I use the word pointless?” -Jim

“You don’t have to Jan, this contract says it all.” -Michael, after Jan said she doesn’t love him.

I would like this show to stick to the Seinfeld adage of comedy always taking precedent, but I feel it’s drifting away from that. Anyone else have any thoughts? Am I being too critical?

I may write a TV blog, but I have always had a vested interest in film. One of the few nights that these two mediums collide is for the Oscar Awards, so I figure I mine as well spend three hours logging the show as I am going to watch it anyways. I tend to think these awards are trivial and innocuous and tend to go to less deserving nominees, but the Oscars are the gold standard, so, what the hell? Just like with the Golden Globes, I apologize for any and all typos.

8:30pm: The broadcast opens with numerous actors, producers, writers directors and the like spouting out superlatives about everything industry related. It pretty much epitomizes why the general public feels a disconnect with hollywood. Nice job, production teams.

8:35: Nothing really interesting is taking place here. But it’s been five minutes and I am supposed to be commenting, so, there it is.

8:37: Ellen Degeneres is hosting, significant drop off from Jon Stewart but I don’t think the crowd there was really into Stewart’s comedy last year, as it required the audience members to laugh at themselves. She takes a few jabs at the oddly high number of British nominees present at the show, goes into a extended bit about how nervous she is. She randomly calls out Abagail Breslin, the girl from Little Miss Sunshine, and while I know she is an actress rather than a pop musician, everytime I see a child celebrity now I see Britney Spears. Yeah, pretty grim.

8:43- She goes into a musical that is meant to celebrate the nominees. Fittingly enough, they all stand up to dance to the song, effectively celebrating themselves.

8:45- Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman present the award for Best Art Direction. A foreign film always walks away with this one so I put my money on Pan’s Labyrinth….1 for 1. See you give them a few technical awards so they can snub them on those that are more notarized. It is a damn good movie and since I have no idea what constitutes sound art direction, I’ll buy it.

8:49- Wow, this has been a really humorless show, and Maggie Glyhennhal is not going to change that. She talks, very, very earnestly about the scientific and technical awards from the night before. It’s nice to see them get some recognition, for a change. Considering that the only box office locks nowadays are Pixar films, this is probably warranted.

8:53- Will Ferrell is singing a ballad about how the Oscars ignore comedic movies, it is kind of absurd that they are that pretentious to pretend like they don’t exist. Comedy is extremely difficult to pull of successfully, just ask Rob Schneider. Jack Black comes out and screams threats with Ferrell to all the actors at the show. John C. Reilly comes out singingly reassures them that they can make the transformation to dramatic film. Its pretty good. Certainly Will Ferrell is trying to, I have no doubt he will go all Jim Carrey on us after seeing Stranger Than Fiction.

8:57- Will Ferrell does this immediate transformation from satirist to presenter when he deadpans, “Here are the nominees for makeup, achievement in makeup.” Obviously they aren’t giving an award to Mel Gibson’s film Apocalypto, and Click is another nominee in this field, not a chance they give an award to an Adam Sandler movie (and a bad one at that), so it is blatantly obvious that they are giving the award yet again to Pan’s Labyrinth… 2 for 2. The producers drive the winners with half broken English off the stage with the wrap it up exit music.

9:00- Abagail Breslin and Will Smiths kid present the nominees for Best Animated Short. These kids are entirely too mature for ten year olds. It’s weird. Breslin fumbles with the lines on the monitor, and Baby Will points it out. The person comes up to accept it, then they have the two ten year olds present yet another award for Best Live Action Short Film. Ari Sandel wins for West Bank Story, apparently its a dramedy about Palestinians and Israelis and takes place between a fallafel stand. He gives a speech about the “little guy” trying to make it in Hollywood. Between the child stars and the guy pleading with Hollywood to give him and everyone else like him a chance, this entire segment felt a little exploitive.

9:04- In the great tradition of presenting the nominees for Best Picture over the course of the broadcast, we are shown a montage of random footage for Letters From Iwo Jima, which I have regrettably never seen, though I wouldn’t have a problem with it taking home the hardware.

9:11- And here comes… the Hollywood Sound Effects Choir? Really? In case you’re wondering that’s exactly what it sounds like: a collection of adults making noises that coordinate with the footage being played behind them with there throats and various appendages. I for one, am just glad that the guy who makes song beats by snapping his fingers can find some work.

9:14- Carrell and Kinnear present the award for Best Sound Editing, they do the “It’s a Lot like sex” metaphor gag (because you can do that with anything, really). I am giving it to Letters From Iwo Jima, mainly because they showed clips of it a few minutes ago. 3 for 3. Apparently one of the winners had a father who survived Iwo Jima. Must have been emotional, he thanks all troops throughout time and singles out his father.

9:17 James McAvoy (the kid from Last King Of Scotland) and Jessica Biel present the award for Achievement in Sound Mixing. I’m calling Flags of Our Fathers takes this one… 3 for 4, goes to Dream Girls. Psshh, whatever. That movie is pretty much a live album, you could play a record and it amounts to the same thing.

9:20- Rachel Wiesz presents the award for Best Supporting Actor. Eddie Murphy is a stone cold lock (as are all the other major acting awards tonight). I would love to see Jackie Earl Haley get it for his role as a pedophile in Little Children or Djimon Hounsou get it for Blood Diamond, or… lets just say of the five nominees Eddie Murphy is the last person I would give it to…. wait, hold on a second, Alan Arkin gets it for Little Miss Sunshine. What the hell? He gets choked up in his acceptance speech while thanking his family. 3 for 5.

9:24- Degeneres pretends like she is attempting to force a movie script on Martin Scorsese. They show some cryptic stage set that has something to do with the movie Happy Feet, I kind of missed it because I am typing at a feverish pace.

9:29- Footage of The Departed, our second nominee for Best Picture! Was a helluva morality film. Again, wouldn’t mind if it won, though I think Alan Arkin pulling the surprise upset for Best Supporting Actor is a premonition for the rest of the evening. Randy Newman and James Taylor perform “Our Town”, nominated for Best Song from Cars. It’s pretty bleak for a children’s film. They go straight from that to Melissa Etheridge performing “I Need To Wake Up” from An Inconvenient Truth while environmental facts scroll through on the backdrop. Everyone in the audience looks really pleased with themselves.

9:35- Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio come onto the stage and Leo immediately asks him if he has anything he would like too announce. This is an original venue if he were to declare his bid for the presidency, not sure it is a helpful one, however. They throw us a few suggestions to help the cause of Global Warming, DiCaprio asks him again if he has anything he would like too announce, he builds up as if he were going to and the exit music overrides him.

9:42- After the last spectacle from Gore and his lap dog, Degeneres says, “Since the show is green, my producers have asked me to recycle some jokes from earlier in my career.” Does some jokes about Gilligan’s Island to illustrate how comedy is constantly evolving.

9:43- Cameron Diaz presents the award to the obvious Happy Feet for Best Animated Film. He is, intentionally, dressed like a penguin. 4 for 6.

9:45- Ben Affleck (He still is welcomed around this crowd) presents a montage of different films that featured characters who played writers, just to show you how self indulgent Hollywood is. It’s long…

9:50- Helen Mirren and Tom Hanks present the award for Best Adapted Screenplay. The Departed seems like the safe bet here, Borat is nominated, but it’s not necessarily a great screenplay. All of these nominees are really good, and in some cases great films (though I have never seen Notes On A Scandal). Oh well, At least they are acknowledging a comedy… 5 for 7. William Monohan adapted the screenplay, gets up on stage and says, “Valium does work”. The writers are always the most clever of award show recipients.

9:58- Halfway point, Ellen Degeneres walks out in a harness with a Oscar in it. Nice touch.

10:00- Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway from The Devil Wears Prada present the award for Best Costume Design, I have the same movie winning the award because its set in the clothing industry. Emily Blunt, like I reiterated several times in my Golden Globes log, is utterly gorgeous. She does not disappoint here and her appearance is appreciated…. 5 for 8. Goes to Marie Antoinette, that awful Sofia Coppola follow up to Lost In Translation. The women who wins also did the design for Barry Lyndon, the old Stanley Kubrick film. Which, isn’t it the same design? She refers to Kubrick as her “Master”, little intense.

10:05- Tom Cruise presents the humanitarian award to Sherry Lansing, who was apparently the first women to head a major studio. Apparently she raises money for cancer, stem cell research, and education. She has since left show business and to focus all the money and power she yields on her nonprofit organization.

10:10- Degeneres has Spielberg take a picture of her with Clint Eastwood for MySpace. She is doing a solid job tonight.

10:12- Gwenyth Paltrow presents the award for Best Cinematography, Children of Men is the pick here and that film has to walk away with something, it’s too poignant to not get anything. So yes, this is a biased pick. But yes, it’s still deserving… Damn, Pan’s Labyrinth takes home its third award. I am not sure if it’s because they’re Spanish, but everyone involved in this movie sounds like they are in a cult, and the director of the film is their leader. 5 for 9.

10:16- Shadow interpretation of Little Miss Sunshine, I am guessing that’s what the Happy Feet business was earlier in the broadcast.

10:19-Naomi Watts and Robert Downey Jr. (Still using the Jr., huh Rob?) The latter pokes fun at his own drug abuse in the 90’s. They present the award for Best Visual Effects. I have Superman Returns in this one, just because between the three its the most overall award worthy movie… goes to the guys from Pirates of The Caribbean 2, 5-10. Damn, I am batting .500 right now. The head honcho of the four winners thanks Jerry Bruckheimer, that has to be a first at The Oscars.

10:23- Catherine Dinhou (sp?) and Ken Watanabe claim they are there to celebrate the history of Foreign influence in the film industry and they do so with yet another not so tightly kept montage. We have had like twenty minutes of montages now, and while I enjoy them as well as foreign films, I am in the process of developing carpel-tunnel.

10:29- Clive Owen and Cate Blanchett present the award for Best Foreign Lnguage film, Pan’s Labyrinth should be a lock with the way things have gone tonight… wow. 5 for 11. It goes to The Lives Of Others, heard of it, never seen it. Maybe this will inspire me to do so. Probably not.

10:32- Ellen Degeneres has some fun with the thing they are doing the shadow interpretations with, the acrobat team they have doing these shows sidles her and they form the Snakes On A Plane logo. She comes back out and says, “There naked”. Reminds me of this bar at Caesars Palace in Vegas called, “Shadow Bar”, where there are naked women dancing behind the same projector they are using at The Oscars, only I thought it was a video being put out as opposed to an actual women dancing behind the screen, I unknowingly struck up a conversation with a women at the same bar, she began to complain about her job, and I simultaneously signaled to the the screen with the shadow, and said, “At least you don’t do that for a living.” Turns out she did… needless to say the conversation ended shortly thereafter.

10:33- George Clooney comes out and presents the award for Best Supporting Actress, now Jennifer Hudson is definitely, unquestionably and unmistakably a lock for this one. 6 for 12, back to even par.

10:38- I like how an award show celebrating artistic achievement, cannot escape being interrupted by ABC promos for Dancing With The Stars.

10:40- Babel is nominated for Best Picture.

10:42- Eva Green and someone Spanish guy are presenting the award for Best Documentary Short Subject. These are all too obscure to pick a winner for. In case you’re interested it goes to The Blood of Yungzhou District. Nothing else to really add to that.

10:44- Jerry Seinfeld presents the award for Outstanding Documentary Feature, An Inconvenient Truth is yet another unquestionable winner. Seinfeld does a really tired stand up routine that is, dare I say, too Seinfeldian. Despite Gore’s film being a lock, there are some decent nominees with Jesus Camp, Deliver Us From Evil and Iraq In Fragments. Seinfeld does appropriately say they are all incredibly depressing nominees. “Truth” takes it, the guy who I am assuming was the director is deathly serious about his cause. 7 for 13.

10:49- Clint Eastwood presents an award for lifetime achievement to Ennio Morricone. He is stumbling with his delivery, and as the camera fades out from his presentation to yet another montage, Clint, not realizing his mike is still on, mutters to a producer, “I should have worn my glasses”. Celine Dion serenades to a really disinterested Morricone and his entourage who are sitting in the balcony box seats pushed off to the side.

10:58- A stunningly confused Eastwood still has to present the award. He accepts the award in Italian, which is new. Eastwood is claiming to know Italian and interprets what he is saying. One would figure thirty-five years of scoring American films that Morricone would have gone out of his way too pick up a little English. Anyways, it’s weird because everyone keeps applauding for him before Eastwood translates. He could be saying the holocaust wasn’t real or something and they would have no idea. I’m not buying Eastwood is translating this properly. Either way, it is what it is.

11:06- Speaking of broken English, Penelope Cruz and Hugh Jackman present the award for Best Original Score, though I haven’t seen the movie, I like the music they play in the trailer for Babel, so we’ll make that the pick…. 8 for 14. I’ve got a three game winning streak going right now.

11:09- Degeneres pokes fun at Jack Nicholson, something no one has had the balls to do. But amazingly he takes it well and no repercussions are suffered. She introduces some small video segment about The Academy of Motion Picture of Sciences. The video is sped up for yet another joke about people being time consuming at award shows.

11:11- Poker Superstar wannabe Tobey Maguire and Kristin Dunst present the award for Best Original Screenplay. I’ve got Little Miss Sunshine in this category, for just the subtle originality and humor of it… 9 for 15. The writer for it Michael Arndt, had to quit his job as an assistant for Mathew Broderick to write the film. So naturally I was expecting him to be a young guy, turns out he was in his late thirties (presumably). Good move, dude. You went from picking up cappucinos for the star of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off to winning Oscars.

11:18- Jennifer Lopez comes onto stage, whom the voice over guy peculiarly introduces as “an excellent reason for Hi-Def television” (had to be improvisation on his part). Lopez (who, again, I am surprised is still getting invites to shit like this) introduces the cast of Dream Girls, who are singing a song from the soundtrack…

11:25- … Or at least that’s what I thought, as they have been performing for six minutes now and are now starting there third song. So when I said “A song”, I actually meant, “the entire fucking soundtrack”. Beyonce and the third woman that isn’t Jennifer Hudson are stunning.

11:28- Queen Latifah and John Travolta (Scientologists are out in full force tonight) present the award for Best Original Song. DreamGirls is winning this one, they are nominated three times and they are five nominees so it’s not really fair… you have to be fucking kidding me? Melissa Etheridge gets it for her song “It’s Time To Wake Up” from the Gore documentary. Two things, how does a movie that doubles as a musical get looked over for a repetitive rock song from a documentary? Also, when did documentaries start winning musical awards? They are just desperate to honor Al Gore in any way for anything. 9 for 16.

11:34-This is four minutes over the schedueled time, and there is no end in site. They still have yet to give out the two lead acdting awards, Best Director and Best Picture, and God Knows what else, so I am currently regretting doing this. Little Miss Sunshine, another nominee for best picture. Maybe it’s not the speeches the Academy needs to cut down, maybe its the fucking montages.

11:36- Will Smith gets on stage and begins to pontificate about the American embodiment before showing yet another montage of Michael Mann films. And when I say that, I am not sure what capacity he is involved in all of these. I know some he directed and some he didn’t. Maybe I misheard Smith and these are just films Mann enjoys. They vary from Dr. Strangelove to Magnolia to American Dreamz, so yeah, I am not sure what that was all about.

11:40- Kate Winslet presents the award for Best Editing. I am guessing The Departed… 10 for 17. She is going to get like three seconds to give her speech.

11:44- Jodie Foster introduces the “these are people who passed away in the last year” montage. Does anyone know what the criteria is to qualify for this? Is there a certain number of films one has to play a hand in? Any input would be appreciated.

11:52- We are now an unapologetic twenty-two minutes over the scheduled airtime. Actually, Degeneres apologizes. But takes two minutes to do it. Phillip Seymour Hoffman presents the award for Best Actress and is prompt about it. Helen Mirren is a lock for her role as Queen Elizabeth in, The Queen, I hear Judi Dench was in rare form in Notes On A Scandal and I am rooting for Kate Winslet (she’s like the Scorcese of actresses). But Helen Mirren, an insider favorite is a lock… 11 for 18. The voice over fun fact for Mirren is that an Indian psychic told her she wouldn’t reach the pinnacle of her career until her forties. Oh, so its like every other profession for Mirren. Also, its just a guess, but that guy was a decade too early.

11:56- Chris Connelly informs us that every picture nominated in the Best Film category has won at least one award. I am not a historian of this stuff, but I doubt this award has ever been this wide open. I picked a bad year to do this, as the telecast looks to stretch well into four hours, there is absolutely no sense of urgency. We aren’t even getting exit music forcing recipients off the stage anymore.

Midnight?!- Degeneres is pretending to vacuum and in a vein attempt for this hour at humor, bitches about her work detail. Its too late for me to still be laughing, she is handling it as well as possible though.

12:02- Reese Witherspoon presentes the award for Best Actor, all the nominees seem deserving. Peter O’Toole is the crowd favorite, I am pulling for Gosling, but it’s Forest Whitaker’s award… 12 for 20. This is an impressive list of nominees considering how poor I thought 2006 was for films. Whitaker gives an emotional speech about his plight in the acting field. He’s lucky he doesn’t get exit music-ed off the stage. When he walks off he looks back over his shoulder like he just beat the shit out of the crowd.

12:06- Coppola, Spielberg and Lucas present for Best Director, they do some schtick and there is a reason these guys never took a stab at acting. Now they are speeding things up by neglecting to show clips of the films and opting to just read the nominees. Scorsese deserves the award, I am rooting for him, I think he is the most deserving and the crowd is pulling for him. He gets a standing ovation when his name is announced. 13 for 21. They show Scorsese walking off the stage with the three presenters and its safe to say that George Lucas is misplaced.

12:12- The Queen, your fifth and final nominee for best picture. Nicholson and Diane Keaton present the award, I am guessing Little Miss Sunshine, but it’s nothing more than a shot in the dark, Keaton presents the nominees and Nicholson reads The Departed as the winner. Does that happen often? Where a person who was integral to the making of the winning film reads his own movie? I finish the night at 14 for 22, and after hours of actors, directors, musicians and the like, some random producer named Graham King is the last person we hear from. He acknowledges everyone involved with the making of the film including his family.

12:19- Degeneres mine as well be shoving Mr. King off the stage with a broom when she steps onto the stage to sign off, so only 49 minutes over the allotted time for the show. Pretty sloppy on The Academy’s part. If you actually read this entire thing, you deserve a statue of some kind.

Ravu comes back from TC, and they are in disbelief after watching a woman they hardly knew walk off the island. Some other woman suggests putting egos aside and focusing on winning. She is apparently of the impression that no one else has ever formed such a novel concept. The team seems to be in agreement, Rocky goes crazy with the hyperbole and refers to his team as the biggest group of losers in Survivor history. Way to lift those spirits, Rocky.

Moto decides to paint the floor (They got paint?!) to fend off any infestation. They seem to be eating and relaxing pretty steadily, almost like its a vacation. Moto is pretty energetic while Ravu is famished. Earl comes back from exile island and dances around describing his clue, everyone takes a hint and doesn’t inquire anymore. Michelle uses her glasses and the particularly scorching hot sun to start a fire. See, beautiful and thrifty. With the assistance of her team they get a full fledged campfire going. Rocky says the other team should be frightened because Ravu is “so fired up” right now. Brilliant pun there, Rocky. Bartender college did pay off.

At RC, Ravu gets a flint from Jeff for getting a flame going. They are playing for one of three things: luxury items, fishing gear that Moto apparently already has or fresh fruit. Clearly you go with the non-glamorous item in the gear, we’ll see what they choose.

The challenge features an elaborate slip and slide that they must get across, grab a little ball and throw it in a basket from ten feet away before their opponent. First two to go are some guy named Gary from Moto and Anthony. Gary wins despite foolishly attempting to walk across the wet board. Next two up are Rita from Ravu and Cassandra from Moto, Cassandra collapses onto the Mat and manages to parlay it into a twenty foot slide. Rita wins none the less. 1-1.

Boo from Moto and Rocky from Ravu are next. I get the impression Boo has done this before, he slides across the mat and grabs the appropriately numbered ball all in one motion, Rocky never even has the opportunity to take a shot. 2-1, Moto.

Michelle from Ravu and Stacy from Moto (ala the two attractive asian women) tip toe to the shooting line, they take multiple shots before Stacy puts it in. 3-1, Moto.

Next round is Alex for Moto and Mookie for Ravu, they both get across pretty quickly. Mookie is the first to put it in, in with proper shooting technique. 3-2, Moto.

Next up is Sylvia from Ravu and Liliana from Moto, Sylvia really botches the job here. Liliana takes four shots before Sylvia takes one and manages to put drill it just as Sylvia is stepping up to the shooting line. What a miserable feeling that must be for our current artificially created antagonist. 4-2, Moto.

Next round is Earl from Ravu and Edgardo from Moto. They are as even as anyone has been, Edgardo edges him out though. 5-2, Moto. One more and the game is there’s.

Unfortunately the next round is something of a mismatch for Ravu, as it features Yau-Man, the late 50’s diminutive Asian versus Dre, late 20’s large black man for Moto. Yau-Man hangs tough, however, and Dre actually has a shot bounce out because there are so many balls in his teams basket. No telling how many shots each took, but it’s considerable. Dre ultimately puts the game away despite a valiant effort from Yau. Moto sends Sylvia to Exile and take the fishing gear.

At exile Island, Sylvia is embarrassed by her performance, I really wouldn’t take it so hard. The third clue is helpful, in fact it just tells her where the idol is back at camp. So for the time being it’s pretty worthless.

Moto returns from camp and Dreamz starts referring to Gary (the guy who slipped in the first round of the RC) as papa smurf in an affectionate but annoying manner. Gary responds with a shortness of breath and disorientation. The doctors inspect him and cannot find any evidence of anything serious, the doctors say that if it’s anything than it is musculoskeletal problem. He decides to just rest and see how he feels in the morning. In my limited medical knowledge, I am guessing a panic attack. His team is legitimately concerned.

A visual interpretation of agony

At IC, they are competing head-to-head in a food eating competition, though its obviously misleading as they are going to be eating traditional Fijian cuisine. Rocky goes up against Liliana and tries to swallow a clam whole. She chews and gets it down but Jeff discredits the win on a technicality, in the meantime, Rocky is able to get his down cleanly and Ravu… you know what? I can’t recap this entire challenge, the language is too bizarre…

Dreamz (Moto) eats an octopus before Sylvia (Ravu)
Mookie (Ravu) eats two peanut worms(?) before Lacy (Moto)
Rocky and some random guy from Moto get into a verbal dispute about sportsmanship from the bleachers as Mookie was taunting Lacy. Rocky comes out the victor.
Alex (Moto) eats a sea cucumber before Earl (Ravu)
In case you’re not keeping score that’s 2-2.
Edgardo (Moto) eats some fish eyes before Michelle (Ravu)
Gary (Moto) destroys Anthony (Ravu) in eating pig snouts to clinch a victory. Ravu has yet toowin a challenge, and they might be too far gone to get one now.

Sylvia says she still feels connected to the tribe, but is not sure the feeling is mutual. Since she has the clue about the idol, she knows she has to find it to stay around. Earl gauruantees Yau that Sylvia does not have the idol, but he isn’t aware of just how helpful that clue was. Rocky and Rita decide they are voting off Sylvia, assuming she doesn’t have the idol, if that’s the case then they are giving Anthony the boot. Damn, they are both kind of victims of circumstance. Sylvia, because she built the cabin that the other team is living in, and Anthony, really because match point was scored on him at the latest IC.

They all have negative, disparaging opinions of the state of the tribe. Anthony does not hone up to his poor performance in the IC, whereas Sylvia has been overly-apologetic about her poor performance at RC. Mookie throws it all into the open and says he was pissed off at the tribes performance and singles out Anthony. They exchange a few words, blah, blah, blah; we go to the vote.

Mookie votes for Anthony, saying it’s his attitude.
Michelle votes for Sylvia, and draws little designs in the “S”, she claims she’s just curious about whether or not Sylvia has the Immunity Idol.

Apparently you have to play the Idol before the votes are read, no one plays it, the vote goes as such:
Sylvia
Anthony
Sylvia
Anthony
Sylvia
Anthony
Earl (what the hell?)
and the third person voted off is… Sylvia.

Wow, Ravu is really discombobulating. Has there ever been a more split vote this early in the game? Who the hell voted for Earl?

Sylvia harbors no resentment towards anyone in the game, though claims she has been “had”. Thinks it will be entertaining too watch everyone stab each other in the backs. See, there’s always a silver lining.

We open this weeks Friday Night Lights with Tim and his dad hustling a couple guys in pool at a bar. They are with Tyra and the guy is noticeably agitated. Papa Riggins (Walt) is drinking and starts shit with the guy when he is pissed that they are playing him. They get in each others face and Riggins lightly throws a pool ball at him from behind, which results in everyone laughing. He figures it was Tim and goes after him. The bar guy breaks it up, throws random guy out, and the guy flings the money at Tim, then challenges him to a fight outside. Tyra is concerned, Walt reassures her that he can handle himself. And no one mentions that this sick fuck is picking a fight with a high schooler.

Tyra goes to Billy for help with Tim, there is some women screaming to him from inside about Deal or No Deal, Billy says Tim has made his bed, now he has to lie in it. Tyra is, as always, unimpressed, though rightfully so. Doesn’t look good for this faction of Dillon.

Tim’s dad is standing on the sidelines at his practice. He suggests that Tim should get more carries, as he is just as capable as Smash. See, even absentee fathers are still concerned with their sons status on the football team. Taylor, clearly not his first time fending off such suggestions, tells him they can discuss it after practice. And this sends Daddy Riggins off into full-fledged drunk and insecure Texas guy mode with the, “You think you’re better than me” retort.

Mac reports too coach that a camera is missing from the audio/visual room and that someone saw Walt go in and out of the room earlier in the day (wouldn’t they have seen the camera in his hand?). Taylor promptly pays the Riggins household a visit and hints that he believes Walt is the culprate. Tim, unknowingly vouches for him and gives Taylor an earful for even hinting at the notion.

So naturally, after a night of boozing with the old man Tim goes ut to fix his headlight and finds a misplaced camera on a high shelf in the garage, prompting him to throw his dad out of whoever’s house him and Billy are living in. As Walt begins his exit, he gets in Tim’s face and says, “Watch how easy this is.” Ouch, that is going to leave some psychological marks. Also, is this, like, an epidemic in Texas? Every dad (short of Coach Taylor), if he is even around to act as such, is a total scumbag.

Anyway, Tim’s lack of self-worth eventually fester’s away at him. He goes to tyra for a shoulder to lean on, but she is preoccupied with work… so he turns to the bottle. I figured it would be that or Lyla. And with Street out of town, it would have been too much for her to cheat on him again and still expect the audience to have any sympathy for her. In his drunken stupor he returns to the bar the episode opened with, makes eye contact with the man from before, and motions him outside, where said guy proceeds to beat the living shit out of Tim, who is, again, a high schooler.

In the last scene of the episode, with his face cut and bruised pretty severly, Tim makes his way to Taylor’s house and returns the camera. Coach invites him inside without asking any details (though between returning the camera and the noticeable beating, we assume that Taylor assumes his dad is responsible for the marks on Tim’s face), and Tim cordially declines, with his voice of the verge of breaking, “I’ll see you at practice, coach”.

Everyone’s favorite post-adolescent couple, Matt and Julie are studying/locking lips when grandma walks in, the go into a frenzy and she demands that Matt stay away from her Tapioca (she supposedly has alzheimers so that’s not intended to be innuendo, she really burst in on her grandson and his girlfriend about pudding), he apologizes, they giggle. While walking out, Julie propositions Matt with sex, he is flustered but eager.

Don’t let your friends buy cheap condoms

At work, Landry is giving him some amateur advice, Smash steps in and gives him some player advice, neither of which suits him. I also find it weird that two people as different as Smash and Landry can coexist in the same room. Anyhow, Matt and Landry heed Smash’s advice and go in search of a condom that’s suitable for the occasion. Landry is overly analytical about it. For the sake of plot development, Tami happens to catch Matt and Landry in the grocery store, and looks on with much trepidation for her daughter.

Tami is understandably sitting on the couch waiting for her daughter to arrive, as Julie tries to walk to her room, Tami drops a bigger bombshell on Julie than Julie dropped on Matt: “I saw Matt Saracen buying condoms at the grocery store”. A couple of things here, one, using his last name to be perfectly clear is a nice touch; two, I like how everyone immediately rules out the notion that the condoms were for Landry. Julie waits for at least ten agonizing seconds before she turns around to confront her concerned mother. The two have a non-melodramatic version of “The Talk” and Connie Britton has yet another stand out moment. I won’t delve into details because as a guy, it just seems presumptuous to pretend like I have any idea what’s at work here. But whatever it is, it’s perfectly executed by the writers, actresses, camera men, director and everyone else involved.

Despite how moving the scene may have been for every woman over the age of twenty, Julie remains unconvinced about the significance of her mother’s speech, or at least she is pretending to be unflinched. Even Tyra reassures her she need not yet put out, but Julie protests saying this way she can have control over the situation while she “computes and gathers data”. Which leads to Tyra flinging a pair of underwear at naive little Julie while saying, “throw him a bone while you’re collecting your data”.

When the moment of truth arrives, Matt has gone from hesitant to fervent and Julie from confident too scared shitless. She conjures up a variety of excuses just to give herself a moment and hopefully deter Matt’s interest, which obviously isn’t going to happen. Anyway, being the holier than thou kid we all know him to be, Matt gives Julie an out, “We don’t have to do this”. What a strapping young lad. She at first protests, but he then suggests, “No, we can just hang out and… eat, or something”. This line is a callback to an earlier episode when Taylor was advising Julie on dating, “They are either thinking about sex or they’re hungry”. They spend the rest of the night hanging out doing innocent boyfriend-girlfriend type things, in fact they are so lost in the moment, Julie loses track of time and she shows up at supposedly an ungodly late hour. Before she gets out of the car, the two proclaim their love for each other, Julie goes inside and swears to her parents that she wasn’t doing anything untoward. They seem to believe her.

In the lone story completely unrelated to the town of Dillon, Jason arrives in Austin and Herc is showing him the glory that is 6th St. Jason is disinterested and more concerned with making first day of tryouts in a timely manner. When they show up to check in, Herc immediately starts flirting with a girl at the registry. Street goes up to the women adjacent to her and gives his name. She asks if it’s his first time here and because Herc and the other check in girl are being so personable with each other, Street interprets her inquiry as idle chatter, to which he responds, “Look, I don’t have time for a conversation I just need to check in”. Ends up it was a mandatory question for check in. Street, wheels off to some random coach screaming random motivators.

Disabled men prefer blonds

Later at a party, apparently only for paraplegics and moderately attractive women, Jason talks on the phone with Lyla, whose attention is deterred by her suddenly overly-affectionate parents. Street is eventually pulled off the phone by Herc and Street reluctantly starts up a conversation about which CD to play with the same women he scorned at check in. They have a long, personal conversation in which Street rehashes the moment of his spinal injury, which seems to encompass every single minute detail, and they share a moment until Herc barges in with some drunken interruption. They head out to visit her tattoo shop and this story is left open ended.

As a side note, Tyra’s mom had sex with Buddy. I am sure its not the first time Buddy has cheated on his wife, but it is really close to home this time around and after reassuring her that she’ll have another job with a friend and handing her some “walking around money”, she leaves as cordially as she possibly could have. Only to later confront him in front of the local church post-mass and smack him across the face along with some other added hysterics. According to the previews, this is going to be an issue next week. Until then…

I couldn’t finish the full recap by 10am this morning, so just a few quick thoughts about last nights episode and the series in general…

-To those of you who watched the episode, wouldn’t you agree it was a really, really good idea to have one of the female writers take the helm on for this one?

-This should really be nominated for at least four emmys between best actor (Kyle Chandler), best actress (Connie Britton), best series and best cinematography. And that’s at a minimum. The bulk of the shows cast play high schoolers and there are some definite standouts worthy of a best supporting nomination.

-If this series gets renewed for another seaon, and then multiple seasons after that, are they going to follow the characters into college or bring in new actors and keep the series about Dillon, Texas? I imagine that by the time all of the main characters have graduated, Peter Berg is going to call it quits, and that he never intended for the series to go beyond three or four seasons.

-If it does get picked up for a second season, I am looking forward to seeing how the writers keep Taylor from going to UT. I imagine they will rehash the steroids plot, but wouldn’t that get him fired from his current job as well?

… Back with a full recap later today.

I haven’t watched a TV show since The Office ended at 9:22pm et. last Thursday (I record it and watch Survivor at its scheduled time), so there isn’t much too discuss, analyze or mock. So just as in every situation similar to this one, here are some links:

A New York Times article contemplates the seriousness of American Idol being the most successful TV show in the history of the medium. Quite possibly, and if so, it means I almost have to regard the three nitwit judges as legitimate figureheads in the music and television industry. Do you think if FOX had realized the ratings potential for this show before its first broadcast they would have hired Paula Abdul? I’d like to think otherwise but who the hell knows?

Newsweek argues that television is better than film as a choice of entertainment. I absolutely disagree, but over the course of 2006 television has gone up in quality while the quality of film has gone in the exact oppostie direction (I would say 2005 as well, but ‘05 was a standout year in film).

This might not boost the ratings of the once tyrannical sketch show, but Rainn Wilson is expected to go topless when he hosts SNL. Ladies…

I guess Studio 60 is officially getting the axe. Now we can all listen to their pretentious fan base pontificate about how the rest of us didn’t “get it”.

ABC’s ratings are in the tank, except on Thursday’s, when it seems like everyone in the country is watching some network or another, so it really isn’t a silver lining.

Donald Trump is contemplating barring a pregnant Nancy O’Dell from hosting the Miss USA competition (wasn’t this like a few months ago or something?). Classy. Who the hell watches this crap anyways? It’s 2007, our methods of exploiting women are much more elaborate than a beauty pageant.

The pilot to Paul Haggis’ new television series The Black Donnelly’s has been posted online. I Have yet too watch it, but considering it’s on Monday nights, I will definitely give it a chance.

And finally, much like George Bluth, Michael Richards was found guilty at a mock trial conducted by Loyola’s law school (There’s some prestige). No word yet if William Hung was singing the intro music or if Judge Reinhold held the proceedings in his court.

Let me go on record as saying I am a little skeptical about the prospect of tonights Friday Night Lights. The show deserves some leeway and I am not going to bash it like I might be prone to do, but any episode for any series entitled, “I Think We Should Have Sex” is going to raise some eyebrows in terms of respectability.

That’s it. Twelve episodes, no finality, and Extras, much like John Elway, ends on a high note. And while I wish Gervais and Merchant would feel compelled to piece together a third season of this series, I understand this doesn’t seem to be how things work in Britain (or at least not for these two).

Who would have thought the highlight of the evening revolve around a “nudy pen” that we see two, and presume a third man in the show will be masturbating to. And our protagonist would catch his agent (and moments later, his agents assistant) in the act, leading to the first time I have ever heard self-gratification referred to as “tossing off”, which I thoroughly plan on incorporating into my everyday conversation.

Coincidentally, that third man is Robert DeNiro, whom Darren gives the pen to as a sort of peace offering for Andy bailing on the meeting his agent had set up for the two of them. Missing the meeting was almost mandatory though, he had been transforming into the self-involved proto-typical celebrity, neglecting his best friend and a kid set for neurosurgery (though it is a tad obnoxious that the mother wanted Andy to do the eulogy should the kid survive the operation).

All I could think about while watching this finale is what the outcry would be like had this aired on American network television, developed a widespread, mainstream audience…. and called it quits after twelve episodes. If this show had the same viewership as Friends (not that it ever would), can you imagine the hysteria? They would just be a barrage of unanswered questions that would culminate into the audience ultimately being dissatisfied with the series:

“Why didn’t they get Andy and Maggie together? Did Andy ever get to do a film with DeNiro? How much longer did “When The Whistle Blows” stay on the air for? Is Darren still his agent? Did Bobby ever get his acting career back on track?”

… And so on and so forth. It was a comedy series, a great one at that. Plot development and a neatly packaged conclusion were not the motivating forces for the creation of Extras.

All in all a great series I do not want to see come to an end, but Gervais wants to export this series ala the Office for the huge payday for the minimal amount of work. Sound move from a business perspective, but I don’t have to like it. Hopefully Gervais and Merchant give me something else too write about in the near future.

Slow, restful weekend for yours truly. Here are some weeks to commence my new found energy:

Here’s an article from the Chicago Tribune comparing (what I am prone to do) The Wire and Friday Night Lights. Only the writer believes FNL is the more poignant of the series. In terms of narrative craft, maybe she’s right. But based on subject matter alone I will never concede it. One’s contemporary smalltown life the other about urban decay and human despair. If both stories are told impeccably, the latter will always get the nod from me.

FOX has given Nip Tuck creator a fifteen million dollar incentive package… so I guess the series is still drawing in ratings. Americans love them so organ thieves.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are producing a series about attractive single mothers entitled, MILF and Cookies. I really hope the creators of the American Pie franchise have the copyrights to that acronym. Something tells me that if you make movies that inane then you arde probably not too knowledgeable on copyright law.

Scrubs is turning into Desperate Housewives. So which series is this an insult to?

Paula Abdul said she never drinks but does take perscription drugs. Is she trying to pass this off as some sort of restraint? Isn’t the fact that she never drinks caused by the fact that she takes perscription drugs? I’m confused.

If you had any hopes of Extras returning for a third season, Ricky Gervais would like to tell you to piss off, you fucking wanker. Maybe he doesn’t denounce the possibility in those exact words, but he does infer that the chances are slim to none.

Speaking of which, I’ll have my recap of the (apparent) series finale of Extras posted later today.

We open with Mookie on the underprivileged tribe lamenting the shortage of food. He and all his teammates, including Earl, are worried about food and water supply. Apparently everyone is dehydrated. So that’s our theme for the episode: Can the downtrodden, disorganized Ravu tribe overcome the environmental circumstances to pull out a win; or will the lavish tyrants of Moto prevail once again?

Ravu is still on a high about more or less randomly getting the decent camp. Some white girl says, “its so vicious, it’s delicious” to sum up the “Survivor experience”. Clever. They are all way too pleased with themselves. As of now the entire episode is contrasting the lifestyle camp differences.

Both teams cut up coconuts, one team because they are devoid of any sustininance, the other because that is just what people do on this show. Some guy named “Boo” damn near cuts off his hand. Apparently he is injury prone.

Sylvia returns to Ravu from exile Island. She looks like a wreck, so this camp is fitting. Upon return, when he leaned in too hug her, Yau-Man glanced down into her bag to see if she had the immunity idol. That’s not the only place she could hide it, Yau.

Amazingly, she has more energy than them, probably because her only work has been fending off water snakes, which admittedly, can be quite exhausting. Luckily, since I felt bad for how she was scapegoated last week, there are no strong alliances yet… Oh, wait, wait, Michelle doesn’t like her. Which means I don’t like her. Which means She needs to go. Anthony concurs, she is bossy. None of us like her. Three guys sit around mocking her authoritative posturing.

Dreamz, despite how contemptuous people might be with him, makes a nice parallel between finding food on the island and finding food while homeless in the city. Points out that Survivor is not nearly the brand of suffering he has been forced to endure. Meanwhile, the losing team is re-enacting that Alive movie with their melodrama. But they are bound and determined to win.

The challenge consists for collecting supply crates out in the water, opening them and raising a flag. So it’s another variation of every challenge. Ravu is performing well and gets out to an early lead. It starts raining in the process. Moto gains some ground and makes a game out of it. Moto ends up taking the challenge while Ravu bickers and stares at Moto while trying to construct there pole. When I say bicker, I mean that some woman named Erica is hyperventilating over putting two poles together. Rocky does an “Adrian grunt”, though it’s out of frustration rather than glee. Darryl from Ravu is sent to Exile Island, Jeff says, “watch out for the snakes”, he replies, “I’ll eat em”. Handily the best moment of the night.

Darryl reads his clue, it pretty much says the same thing as the last one: the idol is on this discernible locale on the island. He is intuitive enough to know that Sylvia will be gone and he won’t have to worry about anyone else knowing where the idol is. He then mills around a bit, sees a snake, kills it, and says, “sorry buddy, i really don’t like killing animals. Snakes are misunderstood, but we have an understanding now”. It’s a toss up between him and Michelle as to who the grideffect rooting interest is.

A little deliberation about who to kick off, it seems like everyone is in agreement about Sylvia. Until Mookie mentions in passing to Rocky (if you do not watch the show, you will have to go on faith that these are real people) that Erica was a tad eccentric at the challenge. Though it doesn’t really seem to matter, because everyone is quick to agree. Sylvia is laying it on a bit thick with the agreement in the situation. Rocky is really confrontational in his attempts at persuading other contestants. Everyone is in staunch agreement with you, man.

(Just a side note, holy hell is Michelle attractive, she is going to get additional attention in these recaps simply for looking how she does, despite how catty she is currently being about Sylvia, because I’m superficial like that.)

Sylvia is getting hammered at TC for being “bossy”. Always an undesirable trait early in the game. You can be obnoxious later in the game but already have the alliances too compensate. But on day six, everyone is expendable except for a couple chosen ones that are guaranteed to make the merge. Yau has some very choice words that are obviously directed at Sylvia after everything that has transpired in the past two minutes, along the lines of “arrogant”, “obnoxious”, etc. Classy, Yau. For the statesman of the group you’re not really exhibiting it.

They go to the vote:
Erica
Sylvia
Erica
Sylvia
Erica
At least there is some organization to it this time
Erica
Erica

Erica is sent her walking papers. And I can’t believe someone like Rocky is dictating the terms of this game. A far cry from Yul last season in terms of decorum. My God, What does that say about the rest of the team?

In her parting words, Erica tells her tribe that they will rue the day they dared to vote her off because she is strong. She actually says, “Maybe you should think about the decision you made”. It’s like the veiled threat to end all veiled threats.

Have a nice weekend.

One of the more underwhelming episodes of The Office last night. I like how they avoided touching on Pam and Jim, but set aside a few exceptions and the humor just seemed under-developed.

I do not have much to say about it really. The lecture at Ryan’s college was rife with potential, and while it exuded Michael Scott tom-foolery, it seemed like the writers were a little confused as to how to handle it. I will concede that incorporating the candy bars into the lecture was definitely in character, as well as ripping the pages out of the textbook with no segue (though at this point, after he grabbed the textbook it was obvious he going to do exactly what he did), maybe we have had one too many Michael Scott lectures that it’s encroaching on predictability.

Pam is going through something of a premature mid-life crisis. I think it was for her own benefit to hear that conversation between Oscar and his boyfriend, and not for the unmerciful constructive criticism of her art, but more so for her personality. If she was more honest with herself and others, she probably wouldn’t be stuck in an unpleasant rejuvenated relationship with her meathead ex-fiance.

Who, by the way, was really laying it on thick with the, “You’re art, was the prettiest art at the gallery” line. Even she, in all her cautious optimism, realized what a facade that was. Her deadpan, “Thanks”, is really the only appropriate response. It took someone as simple-minded and as Dundler-Mifflin loyal and obsessed as Michael to express any genuine interest in her work. I like the callback to the lecture with the Chunky being in his pocket, like at some point in tiem at a gas station he thought that might fit into his speech.

Also, Jim’s prank on Dwight was a little far-fetched, even for someone as cryptic as Dwight. I cannot imagine he would be delusional enough to believe someone had turned into a vampire. Speaking of which Karen looked exceedingly uncomfortable and joyless in the ruse on Dwight. Just another indication that the writers will eventually get Jim and Pam together (given how much Pam enjoys and excels at manipulating Dwight with Jim). Though if they go through the entire series and have them hate each other by the end of it, I will laugh my balls off. Laugh ‘em right off.

The highlight of the evening goes to Rainn Wilson, for Dwight’s psychotic obsession with capturing the bat that had broken loose in the office. His failed attempts culminated in Meredith being locked in the bathroom (because the bat was locked in the kitchen). After probably an hour of hesitancy, she tried to make her escape, Dwight coincidentally stormed through the door screaming which caused the bat to go apeshit and targeted Meredith’s head. Which lead to Dwight wrapping the bag around the bat with her head inside of it for at least 15-20 seconds. Forget the hazards of wrapping a plastic bag around someones head, let alone there being a bat in there… this is like a form of military torture. After he removes the bag with the bat safely intact, he turns around and gives a death stare to her, and creepily says, “you’re welcome”. I regrettably admit that I have probably three friends who would be just as conceited.

Short on noteworthy quotes last night, but here are a few:

“Mr. Handel would hang out with us and he would tell us awesome jokes, and then he actually hooked up with one of the students, and like twelve other kids came forward, and then he was suspended. Really ruined eighth grade for us”. -Michael

“Oh my God…. animal stool.” -Dwight, observing a half centimeter mark on the ground that was apparently bat shit.

“Business is always personal, it’s the most personal thing in the world.” -Michael, after Ryan tries to console him following the lecture.

“You’re welcome” -Dwight,

Again, not the best episode but some definite highlights. I think this is another example of needing to extend regular Office broadcasts to a full hour. On the bright side, we now have a rooting male and female interest in Survivor. More on that later today.

Is Friday Night Lights going to top itself every week? Can I look forward to this brand of symmetry and continuity from here on out? Again, a good barometer for how a show like this is critically and commercially appeasing the masses is the TWoP message boards. Judging by the total and laudatory vibe of the posts, the only time I recall an episode getting more collective praise was the season five penultimate episode of The Sopranos entitled “Long Term Parking”. In other words, the one where Adrianna was killed.

The entire episode revolves around the Mac McGill controversy, and every supplemental story seems to stem from it. So it’s only appropriate that we open with Smash giving one of those grainy camera local news interviews. He states what they are locking out for, in no uncertain terms, Smash and the other black players on the team want Mac fired. Otherwise they are prepared to sit out the playoff game against Hudson.

So with a third of the team, rightly or wrongly, sitting the game out, and coach Taylor conflicted about how to handle the situation, the decision to bring up several JV players to either start or sit in as reserves during the game has been made. And Tim Riggins has been asked to mentor the JV squad. Riggins, whom off the field has a difficult time adjusting and is seemingly anti-social, is a natural leader when it pertains to football (as seen last week in the powderpuff game). He proceeds to berate these three prepubescent sophomores with potential social, health and athletic consequences in order to get them in line. How unfortunate. This is not before erupting on one of these poor kids on the football field for a botched dry run. So to speak.

Matt, on the other hand, is more concerned with Julie than with his high school’s racial crisis and the pending playoff game. After attempting to make a mixed CD (at Landry’s assistance), and being warned by Tyra about the prospect of offering up a five cent CD with a slew of generic songs as a means of making amends, they head to a jewelery store to buy her back. Once there, he and Landry engage in what’s probably the funniest exchange of the series, in which they discuss the origins of making the CD, the best jewelery option and Landry’s chances with Tyra, which they are in striking disagreement about. All this is exchanged while the sweet old lady running the store listens on with a sheepish grin on her face. She is so sweet, that when Saceran tries to buy a something or other that is originally priced at $100, she immediately cuts the price in half after overhearing Matt tell Landry he only has $50. See these small towns have there inherent advantages, half off jewelery for some makeup sex, you can’t find that in New York or Los Angeles.

After purchasing the gem, Matt calls Julie and asks to meet her. Conveniently, she is at a strip club with Tyra to get money from her. Landry, who cannot help himself, asks Matt for some ones for “tips and $2 nachos”. Matt, just to get him off his back throws him a couple ones before Landry sneaks out to the main stage, gets an eyeful before getting spotted by either an undercover cop or a cop who doubles as a patron when at strip clubs. Somehow, it leads to all four minors being thrown into a holding cell. Tyra, Matt and Landry are all eventually processed, while Julie is told to remain seated. Matt tries to wait with her but is forced out by the cop. Apparently everyones parents short of Julie’s has showed up to pay bail and whatnot. Matt’s response, “My grandmother is here?” gives a picturesque vision of what that would actually be like. But Landry’s parents vouched for him, which is some sort of small town method of circumventing procedure.

The Taylor’s have been dealing with some domestic issues as of late, and it all comes to a heed with Julie’s temporary incarceration, after an episode and a half of Julie flummoxing her parents with her abnormally rebellious behavior, Tami simply loses it, which is uncharacteristic for our mother of the year. They get in one of those shouting matches that could best be described as the female equivalent to a dick measuring contest. They ground her, its left unopen.

Smash is standing firm with his lockout, and seemingly all of his peers are willing to follow. He is being encouraged by Waverly while his mom quietly disapproves. After she eavesdrops on her son and the manipulative little girl, she forces her hand and wisely informs him when to pick his battles, “You quitting football to prove a point in Dillon, Texas is not the million man march”. He eventually realizes she’s right and shows up with his fifteen teammates for the bus ride out to the game.

Mac, who was once characterized as the villain in all this, shows some genuine remorse this episode. Partly because his job is in limbo and partly because he has deep regret about offending Smash and the other black players. In a few of the better acted scenes between Kyle Chandler and Blue Deckert, we discover Mac is at least somewhat responsible for integrating the team (though it was probably never brought up because everyone would chalk it up to using them for that “junkyard dog” between them), that his dad (not surprisingly) has some racist tendencies that may have subconsciously rubbed off while growing up, that he is still adapting to a coaching under a man ten years younger than him in a spot he always believed would be his and he eventually tenders his resignation even, which Coach Taylor does not accept.

All of this culminates at the road playoff game, which turns out to be a breeding ground for the KKK. After Smash has been getting beat around after the whistle all night (with no penalties), he essentially scores the game clenching TD. And is tackled in the endzone. Smash tolerates it, but then is on the receiving end of a slew of racial slurs, which Riggins catches wind of and blindsides the shit out of this guy. A fight breaks out, they send the teams to there locker, some suit declares the game complete (apparently some stipulation that if a game needs to be called due to extenuating circumstances, 3 out of four quarters constitutes a full game). Taylor goes into the locker room to inform them but denies them the opportunity to celebrate, forces them on the bus in their uniforms and they walk the plank to a bunch of opposing fans chucking popcorn at them.

On the ride back, a cop pulls over the errily quiet bus full of teenagers and attempts to interrogate Smash. Taylor is speechless and Mac chimes in, telling the two cops that they are not permitted onto the bus without a warrant. The two Super Troopers eventually back down. The bus, more importantly Smash, overhears everything. When they arrive back in Dillon, Smash asks Mac what happened. He responds most earnestly, “They made a mistake, just like I did”, and walks off.

Matt finally gets around to giving Julie that piece apology jewelery and asks, “Will you be my girlfriend?” They kiss, which I suppose is a yes.

In the one story completely detached from everything else in the town, Jason is leaving for quad-rugby tryouts in Austin, much to the chagrin of essentially everyone. Tami and Lyla both take stabs at persuading him otherwise, he is unconvinced and heads off with Herc behind the wheel.

A lot of complexity to this episode and again it reminds me of The Wire in that there is no right or wrong or easy solution to fix a problem. Not only was this episode, introspective and nuanced with its drama, there were literally 8 or 9 lines that had me rolling, but they aren’t worth mentioning because they are all within the context of the given moment. I still thought the episode from two weeks ago had more complexity to it than this one, but it was a close second. Until tomorrow…

Thursday is unequivocally the best night for television, multiple quality series that can leave one at a loss if not equipped with a DVR or TIVO. I cannot say i am a fan of all these series, but I do recognize that virtually everyone has something commercially viable airing tonight.

Between CBS having Survivor and CSI, FOX having The OC, ABC having Ugly Betty and NBC airing there comedy block; depending on which shows you find preferable to others, Thursday night is the most indicative of your basic viewing habits.

Personally, regular readers of grideffect.com will know that I watch Survivor and The Office. The former, because it’s the best of its genre, and reality TV is so predominant, I figured I mine as well watch one. The latter because its the last decent sitcom on basic television (though that doesn’t say much, it is damn funny). And while I do not tune in to either one, I can certainly understand the appeal to 30 Rock and Ugly Betty. As far as the OC is concerned, there is a better alternative in terms of high school setting FNL (and that is all they have in common: setting), and a better cop drama than CSI in The Wire (Again, the only similarity being detective work, The Wire is hardly a typical cop show).

I am well aware that neither of my opinions for the last two series are widespread. In fact I am in a distinct minority, but I am trying to bend you people to my will and refine your aesthetic judgment. So if your a CSI fan, try saving that hour for Survivor or The Office and 30 Rock or Ugly Betty, and seek out DVD’s of the first season of The Wire and save the high school nostalgia for Friday Night Lights.

Speaking of which, that was a fantastic episode last night. More on that later now that I am done indoctrinating you.

The weather here is atrocious, if you live anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon Line or southwest of Kansas right now, it is quite enviable. Here’s some links to get you through your tolerable weather:

The US military has asked the writers on 24 to quit torturing suspects because it results in an unfavorable portrayal in this country and abroad of US tactical procedure. Next thing you know they will be asking Family Guy to refrain from depicting the prophet Muhammed.

In case you’re at all interested which network Tiki Barber will be working for next season, here is your answer. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, it means he’ll get a ten minutes of face time every week. Unless of course, significant modifications are made on their pregame show.

The Sarah Silverman Program was renewed. I caught the second episode of this series, and while I am usually a Silverman fan, her show is almost too mean-spirited (which is saying a lot coming from the same guy who occasionally laughs when Paulie kills someone on The Sopranos). It just doesn’t strike me as crude for comedy’s sake, but rather crude for shock value sake, which never works.

“I hear Aaron Sorkin is in Los Angeles wearing the same dress — but longer, and not funny.” -Tina Fey pointing out the critical and structural differences between her series (30 Rock) and Sorkin’s (Studio 60) at The Writers Guild Awards. Because of this line I almost feel obligated to watch her show.

Carson Daly wants Conan O’Brien’s time slot when he leaves for The Tonight Show. I’m not even a considerable O”Brien fan, but even I will acknowledge this would be a significant step in the wrong direction.

Bill Cosby’s dog might win the Westminster Dog Show tonight on USA (if you’re interested). I think he attends just to use the term “Bitches” in public and not offend anybody. I could care less who wins this thing, but can’t we just give it to some upper west side socialite like every year. All they have is there ex-husbands and deceased fathers millions, and now we are taking that shiny ribbon from them. There is no justice in this world. On a related note, here is a humorous depiction from the first day of the show.

Jerry Stiller and his wife are getting a star on the walk of fame. What the hell took so long? Donald fucking Trump gets on of these things before Pa Costanza? I know these things have lost any credibility and are rendered innocuous as a result, but it ain’t right.

Apparently Denver citizens are concerned about the perceived image cast upon their fair city from the non-Denver populace, as a result of the current season of The Real World. I can understand this somewhat, the kids are drunken louts given 3-6 months of free time, but they are going to behave accordingly regardless of where they are. I mean, the series has been shot in, like, twenty different cities and I doubt it has hurt their tourism even one iota. Last I heard, NYC, Chicago, LA, San Fransisco, Miami, London and Paris were all doing fine in that respect. So please, just relax.

That’s all, though I would like to remind all of those in this ungodly cold weather there is a new Friday Night Lights at 8pm tonight. So why’ll you’re shut in your house, apartment, dorm or condo, why don’t you tune in and try to get this series picked up for a second season. Thanks.

Ricky Gervais likes to torment the character of Andy Millman. This isn’t anything new, Andy has consistently been humiliated in some of the most elaborate ways. But last night was embarassing for not only Andy but for everyone watching. Not only was Andy embarassed, but even the viewers who knew the backstory probably didn’t feel much sympathy for him, whereas in past episodes, we recognized him as a character of misfortune, so to speak.

I was somewhat surprised Andy was so deeply concerned with the opinion his former high school classmate held of him. His desperation to appease the homecoming king was sad more than anything (is anyone still that concerned about there high school reputation in there forties?), regardless the situation breeded humor. I am not sure if Andy is homophobic, I honestly do not think he is, but the fact he was so bound and determined to display his virility too impress an old classmate was probably more cringe inducing than if he were a hate mongerer.

I cannot blame him for refusing to kiss in the play (though it probably would have been a much easier situation had he done so). The way Ian McLellan sprung it on him at the last second was a tad unreasonable, I have never acted in my life, but I would imagine that even if Andy were kissing a girl, it’s something that requires a certain degree of mental preparation, especially for theater actors, I can’t fathom doing that (more or less) impromptu. Even though Andy seemingly refused to do it for all the wrong reasons (not wanting too be mocked by his old classmate), I can understand being apprehensive about it.

(Though I did like Andy’s explanation to the crowd for his hesitancy, “McLellan sprung this on me backstage five minutes before we opened”. Something about Andy uising only his last name struck a chord in me. Also, given that Ian McLellan is openly gay, and its the theater, wouldn’t Andy consider the possibility that it was a gay play? Would that have been presumptuous?)

In one of the funnier scenes from Extras, with the advice from the suave former classmate, Darren managed to ask out Maggie. And because she is so dimwitted, accepted the offer. Apparently everyone else besides those two realized how oddly casual they approached it the prospect of them dating, considering they have known each other for years. But the determining factor that led to Maggie skipping out on the date (the explanation for why Darren was preoccupied with the bathroom) had me keeling over. Regrettably, it was never rehashed by either Darren or Maggie to Andy, because either Maggie’s dismay of it all or Darren’s cluelessness followed by Andy’s reaction would have been something to behold.

Definitely the best episode so far, with the Daniel Radcliffe episode a close second. Only one more episode left to end another short season (not comparatively short, though, the British Office series didn’t even topple fifteen episodes) so it will probably stay that way.

More to come later today, maybe some links, maybe a short synposis on the Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel I watched last night. Until then…