Grid Effect

Typically, cameo heavy episodes seem to serve as a distraction for lazy writing, and the end of this episode was a little too flamboyant, leading my friend to ask, “Is Entourage jumping the shark?” It certainly seemed like one of those unfortunate watershed moments, but this series has always relied on sensationalism (it is about hollywood), so while having Johnny Drama get in a UFC ring with Chuck Liddell is definitely off beat, it’s not unfathomable.

I actually preferred this episode, much more in fact, than last weeks snoozefest between Vince and Amanda, and Ari’s bout with a concsious. This week, we at least had a healthy dosage of Drama, who’s face while watching one of Liddell’s UFC matches was priceless. Even if it was completely implausible that anyone (even someone as arrogant as Drama) would pre-emptively assume any and every unorthodox situation would be a stunt for a hidden camera television show (even if he knew it was coming), it set up about ten minutes of Kevin Dillon face time, who’s story arcs are always top notch.

The Ari story line was somewhat inconsequential but entertaining none the less, and that’s all I watch this show for: a few laughs. I’ll have to admit, I was expecting more from Ari Lange, instead he essentially played the reformed straight man who struck it rich with stamps.com and simply provided material for Ari. The entire thing was fairly shallow and probably fairly indicative of a hollywood induced lifestyle. Initially, Mrs. Ari resents Ari’s old fraternity brother for all his unwelcomed colorful advances and obnoxious banter. Then upon discovering he’s worth $45 mil, suddenly the unwelcomed advances are flattering and the obnoxious banter is charming.

Also, a Harvard graduate is relegated to working at a Hooters? Nevermind that this requires suspending disbelief enough to agree that Artie Lange is an Ivy leaguer, but the fact he went there in the first place somewhat mandates that he can maintain a job better than Hooters. Those Harvard degrees, even with grade inflation and all, they still come at a premium.

Ari’s reluctance to accept his friends unexpected success was unsurprising, but it was conveyed so awkwardly. First of all, wouldn’t he have potentially heard about the guys fortune? It’s not something your everyman pays attention to, but over a decade later and Ari had no idea that a presumably good friend from college is an internet multi-millionaire, seems unlikely. And the way Artie announced his financial status (as an explanation for his attractive wife) seemed a bit delayed. Wouldn’t he be eager to announce to his new found fortune to his college mentor? Even if it was off-kilter, listening to Jeremy Piven mock his friends monoslavic diction was worth the uneven execution.

In the episodes main storyline, Eric did the first agreeable thing he’s done all season…he hung up on Amanda after her admission that she “liked Vince”. To be honest, this arc is killing the series. She just isn’t interesting, and she’s certainly not amusing (she takes herself far too seriously for that), has she been credited with one decent joke in the past four episodes?

The meeting between Eric, Vince and Amanda was interesting, but Amanda added nothing to it other than being the agent/girl in question. I liked the look Eric and Vince shared during the obviously rehearsed speech from Vince and Amanda. Eric’s face read, “how could you sleep with your agent? fucking idiot”, and Vince’s face responded, “Fuck you pal, look at her. And besides, how many agents are there in this town? You know Gugino’s only contracted for a couple more episodes so this is obviously short term. You self-righteous fuck.”

If nothing else we need Ari back with Vince so he has Eric as a whipping boy again. The series was much funnier in those days.

Is the Sopranos turning into The Wire, where every episode delivers the goods? Don’t get me wrong, I think David Chase’s work at its peak outweighs that of David Simon’s, but nobody touches The Wire in terms of consistent artistry. Something to ponder while reading. Onto the recap (much later than expected, my apologies)…

Tony wakes up and has a “I wonder what ther fuck can go wrong today” face. He waddles over to the mirror and has one of those poignant moments when he clearly wonders just what the hell he’s doing/done with his life. We see Paulie downstairs and Carmela offering him some coffee, he cordially declines as only Paulie can, turns out he is dropping by unannounced. Carm leaves to meet a new realtor about her spec house shortly after Tony enters.

Tony goes to look at some tomatoes he’s growing and Paulie says the feds are doing some digging over by Branford Ave…Tony ponders, then Paulie clues him in, “Willie Overalls, the bookie, 1982″. Based on Tony’s vivid memory of the details of the incident, I’m surprised he needed Paulie’s assistance. Most likely he’s spent the last twenty-five years of his life trying to block the memory. Thanks, Paulie! Always the bearer of good news.

While monitoring the feds at said Branford avenue, which is either a sign of indifference or laziness, we come to find out that Willie was Tony’s first kill. Now in his overly paranoid days, Tony decrees that him and Paulie (he was overseeing the a young Tony at the time) are going to lamb it. Finally, one of those road trips they always contemplated yet never had to follow through on.

Back where he’s packing, Carm is distressed and Tony says its strictly for a gambling charge She asks, “At this age, this is still how we live?” I think the better question is at that age are the wives still this naive? Your husbands a brutal murderous thug, Carm; and it isn’t a justifiable practice to buy you quality materials. Come to terms with it, you’ll feel much better. Tony laments his blossoming tomato garden.

Junior sits in a mental facility for the criminally insane with Pat (the guy who owned the peach farm where Chris and Tony Blundetto retrieved some corpses) and some old mafioso, the conversation`is barely coherent because Junior slips in and out of dementia spells. First Junior suggests that they have to bust him out, then a minute or two later when they hatch a plan for him, he responds, “Enchiladas tonight”.

In the dining hall, Junior asks some unknown Asian kid to watch his dinner while he handles a not so subtle exchange with one of the orderlies.

Said orderly, whom we come to find is named Jamil, is overcharging him to sneak in candy and sodas. Junior announces the game is five card stud, and looses his train of thought while explaining the items for sale. Asian kid helps him. Some guy buys sprees for five buttons.

Paulie and Tony head down south and discuss the killing of Willie Overall, which happened right before meadow was born. They went to Lugers, the same place where Tony and Pussy went after killing Matthew Bevalaukwa (I clearly spelled this incorrectly). Tony inquires about the Johnny Sack joke from season four that nearly started a war, Paulie is defiant yet transparent.

Back at the card game, some guy storms out of the room muttering something about being cooperative over and over. Some guy claims to have a flush, Asian kid points out he doesn’t, he is clearly getting frustrated from all the stoppage in play (I can relate), and it becomes evident when he starts berating some poor guy with alzheimers. A random patient off in the corner begins crying over a joke Junior makes about a vase and spreading legs. “The Professor” shows up and Junior is instantly repelled, he tells him to fuck off, in so many words. When he refuses to budge, Junior calls him the pride of Rutgers and points out that he slit his wrists right after killing the dean. Junior forces him out.

Some of Junior’s choice lines that he has been telling for the past fifty years:

-What does the blind man say when he passes the fish market?…good morning ladies.

-A real orderly walks in and dismantles the game and when Junior opines, the guy insists it’s too stressful for the patients an points out the crying kid in the corner, to which Junior responds, “He’s not even playing”.

-I saw you’re girlfriend today at pet therapy, how does she keep her coat so shiny?

Asian kid, whom we learn is named Carter, goes to meet up with Junior and he give him his taste in buttons, which the kid reluctantly accepts, realizing Junior is senile. Junior regals a tale of his childhood about fixing some womans garden and turning down a quarter she offered, as a result, his father smacked him around. He means for it to be a valuable life lesson that the kid is supposed to take into consideration for his basic interaction with people. Carter interprets it as him complaining about his father (which goes to emphasize the generational gap that Junior, Tony and the entire mob is unfamiliar with. In short, this institution is outdated). Some guy from the card game comes to retrieve his buttons, Junior tells him if the warden has a problem with him keeping them, than the warden can come see him. The guys asks for a Kit Kat and Jun is incredulous, Carter is impressed and may have found a role-model inside the mental facility, probably not a positive one, at least in terms of harnessing that obvious pent up rage this kid is suppressing.

This is where we find out how nuts this kid is, he tells a story about his father berating him about a 96 on a spelling test, he snaps and we are led to believe he murdered his father. “FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!” Stutters and Jun looks damn frightened.

As there driving, Paulie and Tony discuss some place called the Haven Inn, well, “we met those 16 year-old hillbilly-whores at the taxi stand”, is how Paulie recalls it. This is Ton’s one attempt at reminiscing the old days. They end up checking in under Mr. Spears at a hotel that has seemingly taken the place of the one they were so looking forward to. They ask the attendant at the hotel about room service for steak and potatoes, he offers them salads and wraps, or nachos in a bar.

In said bar, Paulie tells a story about the first time him and Johnny Boy (Tony’s dad) took the trip down south. Apparently they were told over which worried Paulie at the time being in the south and Italian (one would think just being pulled over by the cops and a murderer would cause anxiousness, no such case here). Paulie, being in shotgun, was instructed by Johnny as how to handle the situation, Johnny instructs him to tell the cop that he has a friend on the force named Barney fife. The cop slugs him, Johnny boy is “pissing himself” and they end up paying the cop off with a c-note. Paulie says the only time he saw Johnny cry was when Tony was born. Tony says he thought his dad never believed in him. Paulie reassures him that he entrusted him enough to give Tony the Willie Overall thing, and he means for this to refute Tony’s suggestion, but it is actually counterproductive. If you recall how devastated Chris was in the third season when Tony more or less told him that the mob lifestyle was sufficient for Chris but not Jackie Jr., and how adamant Tony is to keep AJ out of it, Tony does not see his fathers insistence that he join La Cosa Nostra as a positive.

Morning, Tony chastises Paulie for being so friendly with some guy at the breakfast. Paulie looks hurt and grabs like two dozen donuts for the road.

Back at hospital, Carter’s mother is visiting. She looks disgusted when he introduces her to Junior, he slowly picks up on it and dismisses himself. But not before repeating, “I have this new medication they put me on, makes me salivate”. The two of them sit down to talk, his mom is concerned about his aggressiveness, “First off, that is total fucking bullshit”. Kid laments his experience at MIT, and “all the shit they wrote about Daddy”, whom his mom informs us was in the wall street journal. Carter claims he cannot win with her and storms off. And I am about 95% sure this kid murdered his own father.

They are checking in down in Miami. Silvio calls with bad news about the body the feds dug up and Tony bitches about Paulie’s incessant yammering. He gets off the phone and sees Paulie yucking it up with some bellhops. The theme of the episode, at least on the surface any subtext, seems to be Paulie’s endless chatter with everyone he comes into contact with.

Jun is having Carter write a letter. And since it’s too funny to attempt too explain, I’ll just quote it: “Dear Vice President Cheney, as a powerful man who’s all too familiar with accidental gun play, I am hoping you can intervene in my case, like yourself I was involved in an unfortunate incident when a gun I was handling misfired”. Before Carter can finish reading the letter, Jamil busts in and tells Junior that the professor snitched him out and asks Jun to sign a picture of himself being arrested for Jamil to sell on Ebay as the man who capped Tony Soprano. Does that really have any market value?

Back in Miami, Tony and Paulie are sitting down with Beansie (the guy whom Richie Aprile viciously ran over in his car for who remembers what reason) Tony gives him a Cleaver hat. They cheers, and Beansie hooks him up with a Cuban guy who knocks over trucks (just like the old days!). Beansie then shows them a picture of Paulie with an Elvis cut, flexing his bicep. Tony says all his friends wanted to emulate Paulie. There’s another one of Jun and his father in front of Satriale’s. Beansie gets a call and says he’s going to take it because he has to empty his bag, Paulie looks disgusted, “Kill me now” is his agoraphobic response. Tony looks annoyed that Paulie is disgusted. Careful what you wish for there, sideburns.

Jun sits in his room eating candy bars, gets a call from the guy who owned the farm (Pat) and asks about the plan, Jun doesn’;t remember, then forgets who he’s talking to, Junior says the time is not right and hangs up when the guy says he is heading back to Sarasota. All things considered, he has it decently.

In Miami, the three sit around with three (what I’m assuming are) call girls. Beansie and Paulie once again take a trip down memory lane. Paulie isn’t discrete enough for Tony’s liking when he tells some story about a kid who, “Mysteriously drowned”. Ton goes off to dance after saying, “Remember when is the lowest for of conversation”. Come on now Tony, it can be relevant and enjoyable, but needs to be regulated.

Phil has dinner with doc, kicks up some money and literally eats off Phils plate, he looks perturbed.

Jun and Carter play checkers. Professor comes up with a snide comment about them playing checkers instead of Chess, “You want a smack in the fucking mouth?”. Junior asks/threatens. The professor says he’s only tough when there’s an authority figure around so things don’t go to far, then tries to quote a play “Oh have th mighty have falle-’” and Junior beats the shit out of him. Aisan kid goes nuts with blood lust, Juniors slipper falls off as he is kicking him on the ground.

The “warden” interrogates Jamil and the woman working the activity room, she points out Jamil’s nice watch and asks if its vintage. He claims to have gotten it a flea market, she points out it must have been expensive. He plays the race card and they let him leave. Warden decides to change Juniors medication.

Tony talks top hesh about a bridge loan he’s going to need for getting killed in gambling. The same blond whore shows up and he absolutely suffocates her during coitus with his mammoth body. He comes rolls off and much to the fan boys’ delight, she is topless, giving this half of the season its first set of bare titties. Long overdue. She asks to smoke and he says “go for it” while pulling out a stogie. She asks about his friendship with “Peter”, which I guess is Beansie’s first name. And it gets somewhat probing, but asks nothing incriminating. Ton says at one point he wished Paulie was his father but he says Paulie used to work for his dad and the girl replies, “I know, he told me”. Tony looks aggravated.

Jun is passed out in a chair and claims he has no focus, Carter points out that they are trying to “Numb him out, because of what he did to the professor”.

Paulie and Tony are waiting for the Cubans when a car rolls up and five of them get out. Paulie flies out of the car and Tony tries to slow him down. They agree to ship products up to Jersey for a little trust (money), could be relevant in the future.

The orderlies come to give Junior his new meds that are “numbing him out”, Carter yells to cause both of caregivers to turn around, Jun pitches his meds and drinks the water, the orderlies are none the wiser.

Tony talks to beansie about Paulie, apparently Paulie and Beansie were talking on the phone once, Beansie passed out and came twenty minutes later to here he was still talking. It ends up Tony’s adulation of Paulie when he was younger was misguided. He claims he used to be Gary Cooper (and that he still has the balls of a twenty year-old), but Beansie uses the phone story as evidence to the contrary. Beansie points out that Paulie has no family, that’s why he’s so ecstatic when around the guys. Tony points out he has no legit income other than Barone which is in its last days and that between the inability to show legit money and his penchant for rambling, Tony is quick to mention he has never been put to the test by the feds. Beansie calls him a “stand up guy”. Tony suggests that maybe he is simply paranoid because he is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Tony brings up the painting that Paulie saved from being burnt, Beansie says, “You’re all he’s got, Ton, you, the guys, his image”. Tony says he loves Paulie. And honestly, if you’re in the mob and are worried about a guy like Paulie Walnuts flipping, it’s time to retire. That’s like dating a nun and worrying about he infidelity.

Tony goes back to his room and stares at the wall while drinking from the mini bar, when he gets a call from Silvio. Apparently Larry Barisi said Richie Aprile killed Willie Overalls, Ton replies, “You’ve got to worry about what’s next”. He stumbles out to his balcony to see Paulie cackling like an idiot to an episode of Three’s Company.

The next morning, they go to lie out on the beach, Tony suggests they go fishing for some Marlin to celebrate, Paulie looks terrified and reluctantly agrees.

Junior hangs out telling more ostentatious jokes to a bunch of the criminally sick. He gets up to urinate, when they plead for one more and he turns around and obliges, it has to do with two gay men having a kid being the only one not crying, he forgets the punchline and Carter finishes it for him, in the meantime, he pisses himself.

A doctor gives him three options, he can take his meds, transfer to another facility or wear adult diapers. We find that in the next scene, Jamil is fired and when Carter creates the same distraction yet he still takes the pills. Immediately after the orderlies walk out the door, Carter comes bursting in to ask about the plan they hatched, Carter and all his fatherly neglect issues points out that he could have gotten in trouble, “You don’t even care, do you?” He tries to change topics and recommends they get a card game going, Junior says, “They fired Hormel”, the kid then pleads that he should be sufficient. Jun complains of tiredness and the kid walks out, dejectedly.

Tony and Paulie approach the boat with distinctly contrasting attitudes. Tony tells some lame joke about Beansie that I do not quite understand. I assume it has to do with him being in a wheelchair. As they pull from the dock, Paulie has flashbacks to the Pussy whacking. Seems heavy handed. I picked up on Paulie’s trepidation just fine.

Jun walks into Carter’s room and offers him some CD’s. Namely, Hootie and The Blowfish. Jun compliments him on the letter he wrote, but now suggests they try to get Cheney’s attention at his outfit, Haliburton. Carter mutters something about his father and character, Jun calls him Anthony and compliments his spelling, then walks out.

On the boat, Paulie fixes Tony some rigatoni, which he seems to enjoy. Paulie complains about his stomach and Paulie contemplates grabbing the axe and killing him. He says, “I saw a whale, reminded me of Ginny Sack”, Paulie feigns laughter. The Tony, after a couple lame jokes, drops the bomb, “So it was you that told him, right?” Paulie deflects and changes the subject to Ralph’s sense of humor, “Her was a funny prick that Ralph, fucking Gladiator fixation, that time he hit Georgie in the head with that chain”, they talk about how John couldn’t take a joke, especially about Ginny because he sleep with other women.
Tony persists, “Come onnn, you told John about that joke, no?” Paulie, now looking agitated, turns around and says, “It wasn’t me, Ton.” Tony obliges, gets up and offers him a drink. He looks down at this unnecessarily large knife, contemplates, and contemplates, and contemplates, then throws Paulie a soda; and though Paulie complains it seems to alleviate the ocean full of tension.

Back at the hospital, the residents are singing “Old Country Road”, and Junior is willingly participating. Carter, feeling feisty, throws a couple paper balls, when Junior mimmicks to him to stop, the kid charges through the herds of senior citizens and beats the snot out of Junior much in the same fashion that Junior beat up the professor. Instead of losing his slipper this time, Jun loses his glasses.

Paulie walks into his house and hollers out, “What’s it take to get something to eat?”, hears a noise and immediately grabs a baseball bat. He turns the corner and sees Big Puss cooking, he asks him, “When my time comes, tell me, will I stand up?” Eerie.

Back at The Soprano household, Tony has received a $2,000 espresso machine. Carm asks what’s wrong with him and Tony gets defensive.

Doc Santoro comes walking out of a restaurant, instructs his driver who scampers off, then we see three men in jumpsuits point guns at him and fire away, we know its Phil because menacing little Butchie is one of the getaway drivers. We are shown Doc with a missing eye, Moe Green style (Godfather reference).

All the guys are hanging out at the bing watching the news, Silvio calls Phil the “main ginny”. The camera is a partial head shot of Tony and over his shoulder we see/hear Paulie rattling on and on about the “Feech LaMann days”. Some music kicks in and a crowd pans through several of the patients at Juniors facility until it lands on him in a wheelchair. They give us a head shot and he’s staring off into space with a distant look in his eye, stroking a cat. Hey hey, one more Godfather reference for good measure. You know, in case you forgot you were watching a mob show.

Like I said, Terrence Winter always delivers the goods. But a couple notes, I can’t help but mention the eerie coincidence between Carter being an integral part of this episode, six days after the Virginia Tech massacre. Considering “Remember When” had a “life is a tragedy wrapped in a comedy” tone to it, I couldn’t help but be distracted. And any humor involving Carter or the mental facility made me cringe upon first viewing. I am surprised neither HBO nor David Chase felt compelled to say anything publicly and express their sympathies.

Either way, this was a brilliant episode, between the humor, the tension, the drama, the character development, the subtext, every scene last Sunday was loaded with material. Also, I think Junior is done for this series, quite possibly Paulie as well. But he’s still immersed in the lifestyle so maybe we’ll see more of him in the weeks to come.

That’s it until Monday, enjoy the weekend.

It’s usually the first post on Friday where I recap The Office, typically there isn’t much to rehash about comedies other than this was funny, that wasn’t funny, this worked, that didn’t, etc. But that’s not in the cards this morning. Why, you ask? Because our local news dominated the 8:30pm et. slot with a solid twenty-two minutes of weather updates (supposedly there was a tornado getting ready to hit Pike County).

I understand the need for severe weather warnings and the like, and I do not know who has the executive decision on this, the network or our local NBC affiliate, but twenty-five minutes? If the weather was severe enough to warrant all that television coverage, then surely enough the fine citizens of Pike County had lost all TV reception, if not all power. But I can almost assure you that the weather has never been cataclysmic enough to demand non-stop coverage like NBC (or WCMH) was doing. And really, I’m not trying to undermine the importance of warning everyone in the general viscinity of a possible tornado, but CBS (or WBNS) simply skipped all their commercials during Survivor to update the local masses.

When I got up this morning, I had three minutes of the Office episode, twenty-two of weather coverage and five minutes of commercials recorded on my DVR. Really what’s the point of the three minutes? It’s like they’re saying, “Yeah, it’s on, but you’re not going to watch it unless you cop it on Itunes”. Maybe this is indicative of why CBS is #1 and NBC cannot get over ten million viewers for any series. That isn’t to say that weather warnings are specifically the sole cause of the current state of both networks, but rather one is simply governed much better that the other, or at least is much more fortunate to have comptent local syndicates.

Whatever the cause, NBC has has been bottoming out this year. And while I prefer their original programming much more than any of the other networks (meaning they have at least two series I make appointment television, one I casually watch and several I can respect but never tune in to), Kevin Reilly and such need to get their shit together before NBC cleans house and the new management revives Fear Factor with five straight nights of “celebrity” editions.

/rant

A recap of The Sopranos episode “Remember When” later this afternoon.

There has been some discussion about the merits of this Survivor episode and whether or not the consist of the most satisfying episode in the history of the series. I would nominate the episode where Tom and Ian convinced Katie to vote out Gregg or the episode last season where Yul swayed Johnathan over to his alliance. That said, this is definitely top five material, possibly more so but I really do not have a rooting interest this season, set aside seeing Stacy not win. Onto the recap…

Pre-credits scene, Mookie and Dreamz are at odds about voting out Michelle instead of Stacy, I like the indifference to Stacy standing in the general viscinity. Mookie camera interviews how ridiculous it was to give all the power to Alex, which I am hesitant to agree with Mookie, is pretty damn stupid. Mookie is livid with Dreamz because now that Alex presumably has so much leverage, he is forcing his hand about the Immunity Idol. Dreamz says, “we go recruit then”, as a counter-argument to Mookie’s paranoia. Dreamz says he voted against Michelle on the basis of her response to Probsts “Give me a reason to vote off Dreamz” question/demand. That’s pretty interesting that Dreamz would allow someone as transparent as Probst to lead him around by the nose like that. No one is supposed to take those answers personally, but I suppose Michelle could have been more discrete. Either way, Mookie and Dreamz are at odds but are in the same boat so they have to tolerate each other. Amazingly enough, Mookie has alweays been in tighter with Alex and Edgardo, but is hesitant to align with the two of them, he wanted to go to the matresses with Dreamz and apparently he was unaware of this. Dreamz, who is skeptical of Alex just unintentionally gave him all the leverage.

At camp, everyone is sitting around in silence, Earl was hoping Stacy would be sent home, but now he is left scrambling. Boo is offering his services, and they want to take out Alex. Earl is skeptical, but realizes he needs the vote. Earl is relishing in his participation of Survivor, and its good to see someone actively enjoying the experience.

At TC, the challenge is the questions about the character of individual members of the tribe. They are trying to guess what the common consensus was amongst the tribe. Each time they guess what the group said correctly, they smash one of their teammates boards. Each person has three boards, the last person goes on a 75 ft yacht.

First question, who would you most trust with your life? Most common answer was Earl. Cassandra Boo and Earl all get it right, they all collectively knock out Stacy.

Next question is: Who are you least likely to invite to a family dinner? Boo is the correct answer, Cassandra, Dreamz, Mookie and Alex all get it right. Three of them knock out Boo and the fourth from Cassandra goes to Alex.

Next question is who has the biggest sense of entitlement: Alex. Cassandra hits Alex and Mookie hits Earl.

Who would you most want to be stranded on an island with: Yau-Man. Its pretty random who they start attacking. Earl and Alex both go to the sidelines, at least the two “leaders” are seemingly on equal footing.

Who would you least want to see after the game: Stacy, She looks hurt because not only is she the correct answer, but they all get it right. Like it has been discussed amongst the tribe or something. Edgardo to Yau Man. Mookie to Cassandra, Cassandra takes Mookie out of the game.

Who smells the worst: Dreamz. Cassandra and Dreamz get it right. Dreamz hits Edgrado and Cassandra knocks out Yau Man, who guessed Stacy.

Who mistakenly believes they are in control: Alex. Cassandra takes out Edgrado. We are now down to Cassandra and Dreamz.

Who has wasted this opportunity: Stacy. Cassandra kncoks out one of Dreamz.

Who has surprised you the must with their athleticism: Yau-Man. Casandra gets it right and wins the game. She sends Mookie to Exile. It seems random and non-threatening. She is allowed to invite three more people, she ends up taking Boo and Dreamz for the sake of strategy to find out where there heads at, and invites Yau-Man out of sincere friendship.

Mookie is bitter about being sent to Exile, and has turned it into a vendetta. He says he has to get in touch with “The four horsemen” and it is done. Why would someone with an alliance of four amongst nine contestants left in the game, think he is in a domineering position?

On the yacht, there is several food item and alcohol, Dreamz who doesn’t usually drink is making no exception here. They discuss alliances and whatnot. Cassandra says she cannot sense in Dreamz’s eyes, the commitment with the alliance. Dreamz admits he is torn. They watch fireworks.

When they arrive back at camp, Dreamz and Alex are debating, Dreamz informs him that his name is going to come up tomorrow. Earl is borderline willing to cut Dreamz when he stumbles onto their conversation.

Dreamz is now under the impression that Earl is doubting him, and he is for good reason. He claims he can tell by how he is looking at him. There is a little too much misguided intuition taking place in this episode. Dreamz tells them that Mookie has the idol. Earl claims he should have known about it beforehand. Because, you know, Dreamz should never be given anytime to weigh his options since he hasn’t been ona team with Earl for the past three weeks. No, he should be steadfastly aligning himself with a complete stranger.

Never the less, Dreamz informs them that Mookie has the idol but plans to loan it to Alex for the night. Since Earl knows the physical makeup of the idol, he asks Dreamz to describe it to make sure he is being sincere, Earl replies inquisitively, “It’s a Turtle?” to appear surprised. Earl eventually lets his guard down and informs Dreamz on his alliances status.

At IC, the challenge is individual now. Good, because last weeks vote was inexplicibly random. Its a balancing, patience challenge, with them standing on these little pellets, in between these planks. They can balance with their hands, elbows, etc. pressed against the planks but once they hit the ground they’re eliminated.

At the get go, since it’s of no consequence to him should this challenge end sooner rather than later, Probst is quit to point out the heat. Cassandra is first to go down. Edgardo, with about 23 minutes in, falls. After thirty minutes they move down a foot hole which is much more narrow. Earl falls. This again benefits those with smaller feet (read: Stacy and Yau-Man), so when Jeff asks those elminated who they think is the favorite, they all say Stacy; who looks pretty calm. After stepping down a quarter inch, Alex falls, Dreamz falls, Stacy is really grimacing, Stacy falls. It’s down to Yau and Boo, Boo keeps making remarkable recoveries but eventually falls, Yau-Man wins, mainly because he has more heart and character than Stacy could even fathom.

Mookie now claims he is going to take out Cassandra’s entire alliance as retribution for being sent to Exile. Alex assures them that Stacy is a member of their alliance. Yau actually approaches her and tells her to vote for Alex but if she doesn’t, then to not vote for Earl. She says that she can agree to that, also camera interviews that she owes nothing to Alex. Well, no not technically, it is Survivor and free will during the voting process is one of its greatest components…But he did save your ass at the last TC. So while you don’t owe him anything, a little gratitude wouldn’t be frowned upon. Either way, she’s at the bottom of the totem pool regardless of which alliance she casts her vote for.

Alex tries to persuade Stacy. It seems ineffectual. Edgrado breaks the news to Alex who is a little too naive with her response. Somehow Dreamz is avoiding all talk of being voted out, so is Stacy. Mookie is now willing to use the idol to save Alex, and the do this incredibly conspicuous hand off, Dreamz tells the Earl faction about this unimpressive move. Obviously, they all agree to vote for Mookie now. Mookie persuades the Alex faction to vote for Cassandra, because he is all so vindictive about spending a night on Exile that everyone seems to agree, is not all bad. Its kind of depressing how uninformed they are right now.

Stacy suggests voting out Edgardo to not let the horsemen know they have the idol. And since they feel like Dreamz might be lying to them, they can heed his some of his advice but not all of it and still cover their bases.

Dreamz is really leaving Alex and them spinning in the wind when he tells the horsemen that the Earl led alliance has no clue they have one of the immunity idols.

At TC, they discuss how crazy the day has been with rumors and such. Probst points out the idol is a little different this year, which we already knew so even if everyone didn’t realize what was taking place, it seems a little suscpicious, but in case you’re not aware, they have to present the idol after everyone votes and before they are read. Dreamz is voting for Mookie but wants to still be friends. Good luck, I have never seen a backstabbing of this caliber on Survivor, but I’m sure he’ll have a good laugh about how you cost him a chance at one million dollars in a couple weeks. The only downside to all this is Stacy, the one who seemingly everyone hates based on the RC, is going to hang around for awhile.
Alex plays the idol and everyone from Earls camp laughs, the vote goes as such:
Cassandra
Cassandra
Cassandra (All the horsemen are sporting some self-satisfied grins)
Mookie
Edgrado (The horsemen’s faces drop)
Edgardo
Edgardo
Edgardo
Edgardo

Wow. That has to be embarrasing for three of the four horsemen. Not only did they play the idol, but they also lost one of their three members. Edgardo was so flummoxed he forgot to take his bag. I am guessing the one vote for Mookie came from Boo, So Stacy is actually ahead of Dreamz and Boo in the pecking order, but still behind Cassandra, Earl and Yau-Man. If Alex, Mookie and Edgardo had played their cards right, they just as easily could have gone with the three of them, Dreamz and Cassandra (possibly Stacy), but they were miserably arrogant. At some point the following were discussed as possible outings: Earl, Cassandra, Boo, Mookie, Alex, and Mookie before it was settled on Edgardo of all people. Great episode.

Edgardo is pretty good-spirited. He was a non-entity on the show, just a vote. We can probably blame that on editing, because he didn’t seem like enough of a prick to get a lot of face time. Amazingly, he already knows it was Dreamz who screwed him, he is either guessing (quite astutely) or the producers told him before his parting words.

Tongiht, Alex and Mookie confront Dreamz. They discover Yau-Man has the other idol and plan on playing the sweet old man with this knowledge. Now that’s how you get the viewing public back on your side: go rummaging through the fan favorites bag. Say what you will about them, you can never accuse them of trying to make friends.

With the storied series winding down, one of the more engaging questions this television season is how will Tony Soprano die. While I think this is presumptuous to assume that he will, I have always held steady that something tragic will happen to someone close to him (namely AJ or Meadow, probably AJ) and that would be far worse than death for Tony, it is always a great conversation piece. So without further ado, here are Grid Effect’s odds on who’s most likely to claim the anti-hero’s life:

AJ/Meadow: 10,000,000/1
Despite what might be loosely described as a tumultuous upbringing, to suggest either of his kids is despicible enough to kill their own father is laughable. AJ, despite his incapacity to follow in his fathers footsteps, is completely enamored with him. Meadow and her occasional rejection to her lineage with organized crime (particularly when Jackie Jr. was murdered), steadily throws a constant barrage of inane excuses for her Tony. Her undying loyalty leads me to believe that murdering her father is fairly improbable.

Silvio: 5,000,000/1
Unless someone can break the impenetrable force that is his hair to insert some sort of computer chip into his brain that manipulates his actions, Silvio is not making a move. If you recall, while Tony was in his coma, Sil was the default leader and did not take to well to it (I seem to remember an old man being rushed off to the hospital with an asthma attack). Outside of a slight rebellion in season four when Tony decided to fast track Chrissy over what some may consider more deserving candidates, Silvio seems to be the only reliable henchman that Tony has at the moment.

Cancer: 100,000/1
This would seem plausible, an anticlimactic demise from a disease that Tony and David Chase both seem morbidly obsessed with. Only problem being, there isn’t enough time left in the series. Unless he was sprung with a diagnosis that we we’re not made privy to in earlier seasons, this is uncertain. Then again, his most recent gambling issues might parallel Johnny Sack’s smoking in his last days (Trying to die the same way he lived: in control). But still, it seems far fetched.

Bobby Bacala: 200/1
In short, Bobby is scared shitless of him. He may have gotten the better of him in a meaningless fist fight (Well, meaningless to everyone except Tony), but almost for the same reasons AJ would never kill his father, Bacala would never kill his father-in-law. I give Bobby the much higher probability because Tony “popped his cherry” by strong arming him into murdering that French/Canadian in “Sopranos Home Movies”. While that would be sweet, sweet poetic justice. Still I am skeptical that Bobby has it in him. Much like AJ, sometimes weakness is healthy for the soul, despite how crippling it can be; it really all depends on how much influence Janice has over him.

Hesh: 175/1
Before last week I would have never even thought of this. But if Tony builds up an insurmountable debt, this could cause the New Jersey faction to take it personally.

Paulie: 150/1
Will there be any lasting implications to that tension filled lam to Miami? Probably not. Paulie has this weird bouillabaisse of admiration, protection and fear he illicits towards Tony. But for someone so simplistic and imbalanced, the more complicated his relationship is with someone, the more likely he is to fly off the handle. For the most part, I think we’re done with Paulie (after “Remember When”, I think we’re supposed to just assume he’s going to turn out like Junior), but he’s been known to stray in the past and he’s the second biggest most likely sociopath in the series. The title of first goes to…

Janice: 75/1
This is somewhat tentative. If Tony is killed and Bobby pulls the trigger but it’s at Janice’s insistence, is the blood on her hands or is it more so on Bobby’s? In that case, shouldn’t they be grouped together ala AJ and Meadow? I am ranking it this way, because I feel Janice is more likely to kill him without any assistance from her husband than Bobby is without any assistance from Janice, so she gts the higher ranking. Of course, if you place a bet in Vegas, I doubt they see it the same way.

But the case for Janice is an interesting one. Considering she murdered the man that she was persuading to murder her brother in season two (Richie Aprile) because he hit her once. Plus the fact she is her mother’s daughter and Tony’s mother tried to have him killed, it would make sense. But I think the chance for isolation between these two where he provokes Janice enough for her to consider getting a gun and shooting her brother “in the heat of the moment” so to speak, is rare. It would have to be pre-meditated and Janice, while I think she is psychologically damaged to the extent she would follow through with it, isn’t nearly cunning enough.

Himself: 60/1
Obviously, Tony struggling with who he is and what he does has been his internal struggle. His bouts with depression have been well documented and his self-loathing in these past three episodes is abundant. This, to be honest, should be higher, but since I think he’s as concerned with maintaining his image as much as anything else. The only thing that could onset suicide would be something catastrophic happening to Carmela, Meadow or AJ.

Chrissy: 25/1
And Tony is just as susceptible to killing him, if not more so. The be all end all of this relationship has been predicated on mistrust, fear and tradition. And now, resentment and regret. Whereas there used to be an immense amount of respect Chris had for Tony, I think that’s evaporated. Does he actually have the onions to follow through with it? Given all that Tony has done for him (at least in terms of his current lifestyle, Chris resents Tony for introducing him to the mob in the first place), it probably won’t happen. But Chris isn’t completely self-aware at the moment. If he ever goes into therapy, Tony might have a loose cannon on his hands.

Phil Leotrado/NY: 25/1
Considering his hostility to Tony in the past (For the murder of his brother among other things), now that he is regretting his life decisions, this cannot bode well for Tony. It seems apparent that Phil is currently seeking redemption, and murdering the man he believes is responsible for his brothers death is probably the best manner Phil feels he can attain it. A New York-New Jersey war would be an ideal ending for the fan boys, but I think that would result in too much carnage for the tone the series has set in the past few seasons.

Butchie: 20/1
He’s part of New York, so if Phil orders the hit and Butchie does the grunt work, that would be included above. Bus since he’s an angry little fucker, someone as large and powerful as Tony Soprano probably brings out the napoleon complex enough for him to circumvent his current leadership.

Heart Attack: 15/1
Tony has always sought comfort in incredibly fattening meals. And in all three of the most recent episodes he has pined for red meat in some manner or another (Hamburgers in “Sopranos Home Movies”, Philly cheesesteak in “Stage 5″, Steak in “Remember When”) Its been so subtle but so consistent I am placing this as the most likely outcome for Tony, should the outcome be death.

If you’re wondering why there are not higher odds, keep in mind I don’t think he’ll die in the first place, but for a series that is so unpredictable with all its incomplete plot lines and red herrings; fifteen to one is pretty ballsy. I am sure it would piss off their base audience something terrible if Tony’s meets his maker as a result of a lifelong binge on ice cream sundaes, But Chase has made it clear he isn’t concerned with pandering to his audience, which I respect.

We are running very short on watchable television these days here at Grid Effect. With the exception of maybe one more new South Park episode tomorrow night (It’s either on hiatus now or is going to be after tomorrow), we are left with four series’, that air only two separate days:

The Office: Two or three episodes remaining
Survivor: Fiji: Half a season
Entourage: Six episodes remaining
The Sopranos: Six episodes remaining

In short, content is going to be a real bitch in the coming weeks. Rescue Me and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia begin their fouth and third seasons in June, but about the same time or shortly before then, all four of the aforementioned shows will be going on hiatus as well.

Anyways, here are some links to numb your pain…

Carla Gugino is apparently under the impression her character keeps up with or matches Ari Gold…Has she even watched the show before? Is she aware of what an attack dog he was before she was contracted for a five episode arc? This is like Richie Aprile vs. Tony Soprano, there is no comparison.

The most recent winner of The Apprentice apparently never served as project manager. If you are like everyone else in the country and do not watch the show, that essentially means she didn’t deserve to win. From the bits and pieces I watched and the two episodes I recapped, she seemed well-adjusted, intelligent and attractive (which is probably the most likely component in explaining how she was hired), but if you never lead a team in the task of creating widgets for GM (This is a generalization, I have never actually seen them do this), how can you be entrusted to lead a project along the lines of constructing a high-rise condominium? Oh, that’s right, because its bullshit. Either way, Good luck to her, I am sure she is a perfectly fine “Apprentice”. Though at this point its almost a disservice to win the “award”.

TNT is using cameras to film Charles Barkley going to work. As mundane as it sounds, I envision a stretch limo with a mini craps table, a few glasses of Dalwhinnie on the rocks and a couple stogies being intricitally involved on this “drive” to work…For those of you who are unfamiliar with Sir Charles, he tends to have a penchant for decadence. Depending on long the drive is, things could get a little ugly.

Here’s the NBC schedule for sweeps (There are four more Office episodes left, including a one hour finale).

And finally, I’m a little late with this, but Survivor’s next home will be China. Not to be alarmist, but by my estimation, this is the first step towards a war of biblical proportions. China hasn’t been too susceptible to host American entertainment projects, is it necessary that we start with reality television? I mean, China’s government has voiced complaints about Yao Ming’s assimilation to the US (by all accounts he still isn’t familiar with sarcasm, so he can only be so assimilated), I cannot imagine the reaction when they are exposed to the likes of Rocky, Lisi & Boo.

More to come, if there is anything else worth mentioning in the next six or seven hours.

So, was I the only one bored senseless by last nights episode? Honestly, after a significant binge the night before and a day full of yardwork leading up to the HBO Sunday night block, I damn near fell asleep during “Manic Monday”. Actually, I am probably pinning too much responsibility on the activities preceding Sunday’s viewing. Considering The Sopranos kept my attention even with its probing, often stand still pacing, I was fully engaged for the entire hour.

But despite the total runtime of last nights episode, 21 minutes after recap and opening credits, somehow I still felt like I was watching Roots. If there was anything about Amanda that interested me other than her looks (and even then, she’s expendable, much like LA this show is chock full of female eye-candy, it’s never ruined the series before, not sure why it should now) it might be redeemable. But what do we know about the character? She is divorced and her ex-husband wants the dog, and… well, now she prostitutes herself to gain favor with clients (can’t imagine why the husband would be vindictive).

Not a whole lot of substance there. Also, she’s tempremental, annoying and overtly literal. All the time. And given her lack of development it begs the question, is her contribution to the series dramatic or comedic. It can’t be dramatic, because nothing is really at stake. Vince and her could part ways right now and they would both go onto live relatively comfortable lives with no regret. So I guess she’s around for comic relief, but why the hell do I watch it if I never laugh?

I imagine the character is still somewhat peripheral (even though her or conversation about her ate up at least half the screentime in this episode) because she isn’t in it for the long haul. But if I wanted to watch all of the male leads being overly complacent with their female counterparts, I would watch every series on CBS and ABC.

Ari was kind of going through the same painstaking minutia that Vince & Co. were. Answering to his therapist, his wife, Babs, at least there was an explanation for why he was so behaving so abnormally: he’s depressed. And when a megalomaniac such as Ari has a bout with depression, he tends to be fairly dysfunctional (ask anyone on involved with The Sopranos). He did have a few solid rants, however (twice directed at his psychiatrist, one of those also congruently at his wife), which helped to make the episode tolerable, but hardly saved it.

Honestly, is the demo for this series so shallow where even the agent has to be superficially entertaining? It’s a distinct possibility, but being a card-carrying member of said demographic, maybe the producers/writers are mistaken. When it comes to a character as integral as “agent”, comedy should trump aethsetic appeal. Especially when the series is billed as such.

Other notes:

-Drama’s prevailing misogynistic wisdom speaks to his age.

-Ari’s line during his first rant, “First off, I didn’t go to the Lakers game because they were playing the fucking Bobcats!” Is perfectly applicable. As having been to a couple Bobcats games, I can assure you its worth staying home.

-Has any one note character been as derailed as the Lasik guy? That was brutal.

Anyhow, next week looks like a vast improvement (something I haven’t said about the previews for the past two episodes), which is almost necessary at this point to keep me awake.

Before I delve into The Sopranos recap, and this is almost criminal to open a Sopranos post with other discussion, but I just have to comment on the fantastic episode of Survivor we had last night. Clearly the most strategic episode since Yul used the immunity idol to sway Jonathan over to his alliance. Anyways, onto the recap…

We open with Danny Baldwin starrig in Chris’ horror film, “Cleaver”, stumbling onto a gutted body with this guys innards hanging out. Anthony LaPaglia’s little brother plays the dead soldier who was murdered by his boss (Baldwin), the soldier has risen from the dead to murder his mentor and does so by ramming his skull with a meat cleaver. Chris’ take: “Fuck Ben Kingsley, fucking Daniel Baldwin took him to acting school”. Him, some Asian guy, Barisi and some random guy discuss ways to improve the editing and commercial appeal. This really isn’t a meeting of creative minds here, they discuss adding one more “sexy murder” and having to possibly alter the title because Eldridge Cleaver is threatening an injunction.

Johnny Sack has a shaved head and tubes running out of his nose. If you read any pre-season reviews, then you would know its because he has contracted cancer during his incarceration. His doctor informs him he is dying. Quickly. Johnny asks, “And there is no stage five?” To clarify the origins of the episode title. Sack is somewhat agitated because of the promises made to him in regards to all the treatments he underwent. As I imagine most cancer victims are.

On the car ride back to prison, Johnny confesses to one of the agents that he converted to a healthy lifestyle while in prison, eating right, excercising, quitting smoking, etc. And that is when he contracted the disease. The ineffectiveness of change is what The Sopranos constantly force feeds us. If you hark back to the first season and Tony’s sentiment about free will, “Then how come I’m not selling pots in Peru….You’re born into this shit, you are what you are.”

Johnny meets with Ginny and Allegra and hesitantly tells them about his condition while choking fending off tears (a popular theme for this episode). They hug and the guard on duty is quick to remind them of prison rules regarding physical contact. Johnny gives said guard a death stare that is exceedingly morbid because he is dying but completely ineffectual for the same reason. When his family leaves, Johnny goes to bum a cigarette from another patient/inmate.

At dinner, Tony, Carm, Blanca, her kid, AJ, and Meadow are eating dinner discussing the movie premiere. Blanca goes beserk when AJ says he just wants to hang with celebs. Somehow she ties the incredibly shallow yet fairly innocent comment into something offensive. His parents ask him if they had a fight, he responds in quintessential AJ fashion, “uhhh I don’t know”. It looks like she may be pregnant and AJ is in clearly over his head.

Sydney Pollack is playing convicted oncologist turned prison hospital orderly, Dr. Feldman, with a comical approach. Probably my favorite quote of the episode belongs to him: “I will save the suspense and tell you that I killed my wife, I had reason to believe she was cheating on me, not that that’s any excuse… I killed her aunt too. I had no idea she was there…And the mailman, at that point I had to fully commit.” He’s phenomenal in his delivery, very calm and collected as he adds up his murder tally. They discuss his condition, and Feldman puts doubt into Johnny’s head about the grim outlook of his diagnosis. When Johnny asks for an explanation, Feldman replies, “We tell a patient three months and he lives for a year, who looks like a hero?”

Tony goes out for his paper and is accosted by two FBI agents (Harris and some random partner who works on the joint terror task force). They probe him for assistance if they know of any illegal activity taking place with middle-easterners, they’re quick to point out his daughter uses the tunnels to go abck and forth from school. Tony goes inside and complains to Carmela about how dangerous collecting the paper is. Apparently, this is what it has come to for Tony Soprano, hesitant to walk to the end of his driveway for fear of death or the FBI.

At the screening, Carmine and Chris introduce the film to a large crowd. One of the stagehands yanks the mike away from the director before he can speak. Chris singles out Tony to thank (apparently JT Dolan, the writer thought he was going to get that recognition, so clearly he isn’t fully aware of the nature of their relationship).

During the screening, Paulie’s cell phone goes off and there is an overhead shot of the theater in which everyone in the room can hear him talking. Tony doesn’t pick up on the parallels between the Adriana/Chris/Tony situation with Daniel Baldwin (The boss), Anthony LaPaglia’s brother (The soldier) and some random girl who was the soldiers fiance.

At the party, Tony congratulates Chris on the release of the film, he comments on the lasting nature of it and leaving something worthwhile long after they’re gone. Very Beanie Siegel, but instead of a landmark casino hotel that bore a city, its a carbon copy horror flick. Chris, despite all the monetary gain from this, is still stealing items from the promotional events.

We pan around the crowd for a few minutes and eavesdrop onto random conversations. My second favorite line of the night goes to Larry Barisi’s wife: “Larry and I hung out on the set, I don’t know if you know this, but the actors, they don’t make up what they say”.

Phil and Tony ponder the current dismal circumstances of their business. Phil no longer wants the leadership position, apparently taking Tony’s advice in “Kaisha” to heart. They all take pictures with Danny Baldwin.

Geraldo hosts a fake show in which him and two guests discuss the state of the NY mob. We pan out from the television to see Melfi’s psychiatrist, Elliot Kufperberg, who’s always had a boner for mob gossip, watching the telecast and responds, “That Santoro thing, I called it a year ago”.

Johnny says to Ginny’s brother that he wants to put her on a monthly stipend. Johnny, who’s hopes are now up after talking to the convicted doctor, forces his brother in law into reassuring him, “OJ is no less a running back, he still has the knowledge”. John is concerned about his legacy. The guy convinces him that he was well respected across the board, even with the allocution, butin his last days as a free man some were judgmental of his penchant for murder as conflict resolution.

Carmela has to beat it into Tony’s head about the real life allegory in “Cleaver”. “He’s a tough prick that Baldwin”, is my third favorite line of the episode.

Silvio and Tony talk about the film and Tony tries to weed it out of Silvio about the obvious metaphor, Sil refuses to bite, so clearly he picked up on it. When Tony asks if Chris is around, Sil replies, “He doesn’t come around here anymore”. I like how Chris is running the gamut here, but doing so unintentionally or at least being very passive-aggresive about it, that ice he is on, it’s definitely getting thin.

Chris is talking to his new sponsor, Shooter McGavin, and in some parts of the country he is known as Christopher McDonald. Chris and Julianna are through, apparently, but not soon enough to piss off his mentor/crime boss. FBI guys are following him around, Chris replies, “Your tax dollars at work” Like its unjustified. Chris elaborates on the disinterested attitude of his mob friends with his proclivity for addiction, hence why he no longer hangs out at the Bing, or at least that’s what he tells himself.

Johnny is trading war stories and smoking when his family approaches. They’re annoyed, Ginny tells him miracles do happen, he replies, “What about all the six year olds with Leukemia? Is it all their negative thinking?”.

Silvio has dinner with The hairdo and is discussing business when there dates return from what I assume is the bathroom. Then everything goes virtually still and silent while Sil is splattered with blood, the camera reverts to a normal tempo and we see the Hairdo collapse to the ground. He was shot by an Asian guy who looks similar to the same hitman who was supposed to take out Ralph Cifaretto in season four before Sack called it off at the last moment. Very Godfather-esque.

Tony has lunch with Carmine, he orders a cautiously healthy meal and Tony just deadpans, “Philly cheese steak”. Tony wants him to take the leadership position, assuring him support from Jersey as he is worried about Doc taking lead because of his penchant for gun play. Carmine gives a lecture about a dream he had about his father, Tony misinterprets it thinking his dad was telling Carmine to assume his famlial pre-disposition as acting boss (very similar to the Weebay-Nemond story in The Wire), when actually he was suggesting he puts his happiness before his financial success. Carmine admits his wife made him cry with the confession that she doesn’t want to be a wealthy widow. Really eloquent scene, one of the best of the series.

Feldman tells Ginny that Johnny’s smoking is an attempt to die as he lived, “in total control”. Ginny boasts about her wieght loss once again, “I lost twenty seven pounds and he cannot even try to quit smoking”. Well, yeah, but proportionally speaking, Ginny losing twenty pounds is the equivalent to my fasting on Good Friday.

Carm confronts Chris about the obvious parallel in the movie, he denies doing it and she points out that he is on the writing credits. He claims he only did it for the writers guild dental insurance, then resents her implications.

Feldman tries to make small talk about with Johnny the hairdo being wacked, he barely has the energy to muster up a, “He was a good man”. Feldman decides to level with him, confessing that his prognosis may have been misguided. If Johnny had enough strength to give a shit he would have had this guy killed for the hopeless advice.

Chris immediately goes to JT Dolan to strong arm him into taking responsibility for the Tony-Adriana parallel. He refuses since it was Chris’ addition, “It’s bad enough I don’t get credit for my ideas now you want me to take credit for ideas that will get me into trouble. Where did yu get the idea?” Chris response, “Isaac Newton discovered gravity because some asshole threw an apple at his head.” That’s actually my third favorite line of the night. He then proceeds to picks up a writing award, calls the humanatas, Chris pronounces it humanitis, like it represents a disease for being human, and then smacks JT over the head with it. It’s essentially the best metaphor in the history of the series that summarizes how parsitical all these guys are.

At the bing, Paulie, Tony and Sil are discussing the hairdo hit. The manner in which Silvio explains it, he sounds like an onlooker rehashing a high school fight. JT shows up to attempt to subtly advertise that the dead soldier getting revenge on his old boss storyline was his idea. Paulie manages to misunderstand everything and not realize he’s scaring the shit out of JT, who claims to have gotten the idea from another film. Tony seems skeptical and asks him what happened to his head, JT stutters, blames it on a cabinet. Tony watches the film almost immediately afterwards and looks disappointed.

Tony laments his sullen relationship with Chris to Dr. Melfi, he’s really hypocritical but sad and is fending the waterworks the entire time. He says Chris’ dad, Dicky, was a mentor/friend like he wants to be to Chris. He’s deeply depressed and it seems his depression is eventually going to turn into rage, most likely directed outward, when Melfi suggests he may be reading too much into what the film says about Chris’ feelings towards him, he replies, “I’ve been coming here for years, I know too much about the subconscious now”. Alright, move every other line down one, because this tops the list. Absolutely chilling.

Johhny is on the verge of passing and Ginny tries to take his mind off it with slippers, he mutters something about his mom and is unable to speak, Ginny offers him a cigarette and he dies on the spot. Vincent Curatola, who plays Johnny Sack was a tour de force in his farewell episode.

In the back of the bing, they do a tribute to Johnny, Paulie manages to make it about his cancer survival and misquotes some song by some artist, neither of which I have heard of before.

Phil, in something comically disturbing, celebrates his dead brothers birthday seemingly three years after his Tony Blundetto murdered him. He asks a series of kids who Leonardo DaVinci was, some boy guess the “guy who wrote DaViinci Code”, then some girl points out that he was a painter. Phil points out that in Italy, this was there families name, until they were forced to change it to “Leotardo” when they came to Ellis Island, “A fucking ballet suit” are his exact words. No one seems to care and one of the kids asks if they can eat cake now.

Phil, between Johnny’s death and celebrating his dead brothers birthday, admits to Butchy, the menacing little guy from “Kaisha”, that he regrets the time he did and the legacy he is going to leave. Butchy tries to encourage him, “You’re a man John, nowadays that means something”. Phil singles out Tony and pretty much says he is no longer going to lie down, “No more Butchy, no more of this”. We have no idea if it’s directed at Tony or the New York outfit.

We end the episode with Chris’ kid being baptized, and Tony and Chris hugging with looks of distrust and concern in their eyes. Ending with a baptism? Yet another Godfather homage.

Another great episode, a lot of significant setup for only seven more episodes.

Pre-credits scene, it’s dusk at Ravu and the three ally members are discussing the alliance. Mookie confesses (to the camera) he is selfish and is using the idol for himself, and if he can get Alex and Edgardo further as a result, then great. They say they are not telling Dreamz because he cannot keep info to himself.

Treemail says they are to paddle out to Exile. Michelle gives a misguided interview about how Survivor tested she is as opposed to Stacy, Cassandra and Boo. I suppose on some level having roughed it beforehand would better prepare her for subpar living conditions in the future, but I wouldn’t rely on that. No one’s dropping out of the game because they have to sleep on the ground.

The four Ravu members contemplate post-merge strategy as they are counting on the merge taking place at Exile. Mookie thinks he can pull Michelle or Yau-Man which is an impossibility. That’s like pulling Michael out of The Corleone’s. They have plans to stay together but it won’t happen. The depleted tribe can never keep there act together going into the merge and they usually implode.

The contestants paddle…

They meet and greet with no guidance and walk to the highest point to rest in the treehouse, only to discover they have new purple colored buffs in the cubby where the clues for the idol were. That should be a clear indicator for both sects of people that someone else has laid claim to the other idol. There is a note informing them they are going to back to Moto as one tribe, Mookie is ecstatic. He claims to be the only who has not been there. Well, the only remaining contestant who hasn’t lived there. Alex called Ravu “seven days of hell”. Wow, Alex, you certainly are an Ivy Leaguer.

Ah, the coup de grace, they got to the island and the camp had effectively been removed. Good. Mookie suffers an impenetrable sadness as a result. In fact, virtually everyone laments, but some are handling it better than others. Earl seems to be the only “Man” of the group, at least in the classical definition. Well, him and Yau. Earl in fact actually laughed at the situation. Currently, they have a cave. It is primitive.

They decide to name the tribe “Bula Bula” which translates to “Hello Hello”. I don’t know either. Michelle and Stacy corroborate and are now feeling good as women in this game, since the men will see each other as threats and they’ll start attacking each other. Essentially she thinks it will be like the South Park episode where Bebe develops boobs and the boys literally kill each other vying for her affections.

Everyone is hot on the campagin trail trying to acquire alliance members. The four from Ravu are apparently planning on sticking together. Yau thinks they have secured Mookie and Dreamz but is skeptical.

Stacy says she has a lot of trust in Alex, and Alex says he is looking out for the “Four horsemen”. The nickname is obnoxious but is a shorthand so I am going to use it. Sorry. Mookie is really into it, and even spills the beans to Dreamz about the idol. Dreamz camera interviews about being annoyed that they didn’t inform him when they found it. And he should be, he now knows his place in the pecking order. Although he should stick to the plan, if the four of them are the final four, none of them can touch him in immunity challenges. Apparently common consensus is Boo is the first to go amongst the Alex and Earl factions.

The non-black horsemen paddle out into the water, seemingly to talk undisturbed and without eavesdroppers. Edgardo is really pissed Mookie told Dreamz about the idol. They contemplate bringing Stacy into the group and getting rid of my shorthand. Mookie, because he’s not an idiot (although sometimes impressionable), recognizes the disadvantage this puts him and Dreamz at since Stacy would align herself with Alex and Edgardo should they all make it to F5. They seem kind of confused and frustrated with one another. Something tells me this four horsemen deal will be short lived.

Cassandra and Earl are really tight, Earl says, “Just keep them thinking they have you and keep them thinking that I’m not thinking”. I really have no idea where Cassandra and/or Dreamz’ loyalties lie. Mookie tells Dreamz that they want to bring Stacy in, he tells them absolutely not, and for good reason, her and Lisi did their best “Mean Girls” impersonation with him on the original Moto. I like seeing him put his foot down.

At IC, they unexpectedly form two teams, but only for the challenge. It consists of paddling, grabbing bundles that will form symbols and place them accordingly. Losing team are the only five that go to TC, the other team gets steak, some spices, other supplemental items and Wine.

The two people grabbing for the bundles are Yau Man and Stacy, Yau Man gets his quickly and the green team has to replace first Stacy with Dreamz, then Dreamz with Alex, and he grabs it shortly after Yau Man grabs the orange teams second. Yau Man gets the third one right before Alex gets the second.

Orange team paddles to shore long before the green team does. Earl and Yau are fumbling with the pieces as Michelle and Alex begin to work on theirs. Orange team ultimately prevails, it consists of Yau, Boo, Earl, Cassandra and Edgardo.

Michelle, Stacy, Mookie, Alex and Dreamz are all going to TC straight from IC. Meaning, no time to strategize or congregate amongst friends.

Amazingly, Boo recognizes how fortunate he is for the Immunity Challenge to have panned out as it did. He says, and I quote, “I would have been gone”. Insightful. He is looking a little more lively than he was twenty minutes ago, where he was looking a little Zodiac killer-ish. The “orange” team is speculating as to what is happening at TC. They all think Michelle and Stacy are on the chopping block. And they are probably right, since there are more original Moto people on that team than Ravu, my money is on Michelle to go. Though Dreamz, Michelle, and Mookie all want Stacy out.

All five of them are feeling paranoid. Understandably. Probst asks all of them for good reasons to get rid of other people at TC. And they pretty much epitomize loaded questions. Alex is the only one who stonewalls him, saying, “I don’t have any reason to get rid of (fill in name)” except for Michelle, he says he doesn’t know her well enough to have a reason. And they go to the vote, Naturally Alex votes for Michelle, Mookie votes for Stacy and I presume Dreamz votes for her as well, but they do not show it. The votes go as such:
Stacy
Michelle
Stacy
Michelle
Michelle

That was really disappointing. Did anyone want to see sweet, jovial Michelle go over bitch face Stacy? So be it, and I think that implies Dreamz voted for Michelle, based on what he said about Alex’s answer to the “give me a reason” inquisition that was conducted by Probst, “He’s just telling me who he is voting for”. If nothing else, you can’t say Dreamz personalizes his vote. This could actually be beneficial for him, but I am skeptic.

In her parting words, she is remarkably graceful given how fucked she got. She goes through the whole “I am vindicated by this spiritually and am as strong as I thought” spiel. It’s about what you would expect. I always maintained she was cute and endearing, not clever, alright? Cut me some slack.

Tonight: Mookie and Dreamz have differing opinions on how things broke down at TC, Dreamz, predictably, tells everyone about the idol as a result. I like his rogue attitude and hopefully people cease cow towing for Alex.

Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund

April 16, 2007, will be remembered as one of the darkest days in the history of the Virginia Tech community and the world beyond.

To remember and honor the victims of those tragic events, the university has established the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund to aid in the healing process and generate financial support.

The fund will be used to cover expenses including but not limited to:

• Grief counseling
• Memorials
• Communication expenses
• Comfort expenses
• Incidental needs

If you plan to give, please click the link below:

I don’t know, something about mocking the homeless has always rubbed me the wrong way. Not to be too sensitive, as any of you who read this site with even a modicum of regularity are well aware that I’m not. But something about mocking the disenfranchised and desperate has always seemed unnecessary. Luckily, my convictions are only so strong. In fact, most would probably label them as weak.

So any episode that features a healthy amount of Ryan Marsh, despite any halfhearted socio-political objections, receives a positive review from me. That guy epitomizes the fumbling TV dad. From accusing everyone of turning “homeless”, to blowing the guys head off to refusing the cherry pop-tarts, he provided most of the comic relief in yet another episode that was overly concerned with something other than comedy (In this case it was parodying George Romero’s Dawn of The Dead).

Was it their best episode? Not even for this season. Did they manage to genuinely satirically reflect our reactions when being approached by panhandlers? To a tee (”Oh, this guy’s a war veteran, I’m going to have to give him some change”). But I would just assume there is something better to satirize Dawn of The Dead with than the homeless.

One element of this show I do enjoy is the contempt the four boys hold for their parents (”These people are just as dumb as the people in South Park, pretty soon our town is going to look like this!”). Its apt in that their parents, particularly Stan’s dad, are utter morons when put in realistic (”Lord of The Rings” video) or mythical situations (fighting the non-human corporate entity of Wal-Mart).

Also, as a footnote, there was yet another early-mid nineties rap reference with Tupacs “California Love”. proving once again, if you were not already aware, that Parker and Stone are Gen X’ers. The first one I can recall was last season and Satan’s Birthday Party with the Notorious BIG interpretation. Perhaps a sign they are running out of ideas and just putting the four protagonists in absurd situations and relying on that for laughs? Nah, couldn’t be.

A recap of last weeks Survivor is coming this afternoon. Stay tuned.

Unfortunately, due to moving and other time consuming matters, I cannot do a full, event detailed recp of the Friday Night Lights season finale like I had initially hoped. So, considering this is possibly the last episode of the best dramatic series on network television in the last 10-12 years, here is a recap with an infinite number of shortcomings and oversights:

This is an episode that revolved around an actual football game in quite some time. I suppose it’s appropriate, because if the state championship isn’t going to dominate an episode, then what game will? Eventually they would have to cease to calling this a series about football. Leading up to the collective road trip to Dallas (or Fort Worth, if you want to get technical about it).

There are several worthwhile subplots just to people looking for a ride. Obviously, all the players are riding on the team bus, leaving Saceran to find a kind soul to offer one so she won’t have to take the bus. Landry, having been invited to attend the game with Tyra since she has been offered Riggins guest tickets, is no longer that selfless, “Your Grandma might need to take the damn bus” is his response. Riggins, much to the chagrin of Tyra and especially Landry; gave the tickets to Bo and Jackie, contingent on a, “They’re for Bo and were still just friends basis”. Riggins ends up giving Tyra four seats in the nosebleeds (which, for a high school football game at Texas Stadium means the first row of the second deck).

While heading out of town, Landry is now riding with Tyra in the back passengers seat, her sister directly behind him and Tyra’s mom in shotgun, eating all the aphrodisiac chocolates because of something related to female hygeine. I can’t remember the exact correlation but I can tell you it didn’t make any sense to me. I also want to point out that it’s good Tyra, though in something of a transitional phase, still is fully capable of manipulating men that want to sleep with her.

Anyhow, Landry sees Saracen’s grandmother sitting at the bus stop, and since the other factions of the Collette family have decided to tag along, what’s one more person running interference? It’s good to see Landry play the good samaritan when all possibilities for road head are null and void.

Tami found out she was pregnant before leaving town and everyone was in such a rush, she never had the opportunity to inform Eric. So, she decide to wait until they arrive in Dallas when everyone will be situated. Julie, on the other hand, is already hell bent making plans on how to see Matt while living four hours apart. Eric, who stumbled behind some structure Matt and Julie were leaning against while making out, shares a few words and gives Matt a razor sharp stare through his sunglasses when he notices Matt doing the same.

When she arrives back home, without skipping a beat, he asks, “Did you tell Matt Saracen I took the job at TMU?” Initially she denies the allegations but after further questioning, caves. Coach tries to level with Matt, but he isn’t hearing any of it. He already has abandonment issues with his father in Iraq and his mother in Oklahoma for whatever reason. The closest thing he has to a father figure is now leaving to coach other quarterbacks for a mid-major.

Lyla, who now legitimately hates her father, gave him back the car he bought for her. And in return buys a beat up hooptie from one of her fathers competitors named “Crespos”. Whos money does she buy the car with? No matter, it ends up breaking down in the middle of an “empowered female drives while singing along to horrible lesbian rock” scene.

Landry, in the middle of a mobile sleepover, turns down off the music while all four women/girls sing along to “Lady Marmalade”, only to be privy to jokes about tampax and menopause. Amazingly, he notices Lyla standing over her broken down car on the side of the road and pulls over to offer her a ride, when she catches wind of Tyra in the car, she refuses and Landry forces Tyra to convince her to take a ride under the guise, “It wouldn’t be christian to leave her”. Its good to see those theological convictions are now restored. Lyla and Tyra have an inarticulate alpha female argument before Tyra offers her a ride after hearing Street cheated on her. It’s good to see they have that in common: infidelity.

Pulling up to the stadium, everything is in slow motion as they spot the stadium from afar, check out their personalized lockers and walk onto the intimidating field that accentuates how minute all of these kids are. Half of them cannot even reach the top of their lockers.

In the moments leading up to the game, the following things happen:

-It’s revealed that Coach Taylor is leaving for TMU after persistent questioning from a reporter, he claims he hates the media at a banquet. Garrity wishes him luck.

-Julie and Matt discuss her fathers departure and while she has been at odds with him for the past three episodes, she actually comes to his defense. Matt sidles coach in the hotel bar with a look of hurt and disgust. Coach asks why he is up past bed check, Matt, not really feeling in the mood to bge queried by a man whom he feels is betraying him, dedpans, “I was with your daughter”. This candidness (which is rare from Matty-boy), causes Eric to turn around and explain the importance of his family to him.

-Tami tells Eric she is pregnant in what is a beautifully shot scene on the balcony of their hotel room in downtown Dallas… but I have had enough declarations of love from this show to last me a lifetime.

-Voodoo invites Smash to play with him next year because his school fixes him up with an apartment that has, “A pool and a dishwasher”. The pool is nice and all, but the dishwasher would push any seventeen year old over the edge. Smash turns him down because “he’s a Panther”. You have to appreciate the loyalty even though his coach isn’t exhibiting it, which Voodoo is quick to point out.

Gametime. Everyone is still dejected but wants to win state. Long story short, Matt is getting owned by the defense and the Dillon defense is getting owned by Voodoo’s offense. At half, we are down 26-0.

Now for the best moment of the episode (possibly the series, i’ll get back to you on that), coaches eyes dart around the locker room at halftime. All he sees are dejected faces and defeatus posturing (The arms folded, head down look), then he sees Street and launches into a sppech about how everyone counted them out when he went down and how everyone is counting them out now. Except for a select few, and the camera goes from panning to various onlookers to family and friends of the players we have come to know over the course of twenty-two episodes. He advises them to play with said people in their minds and in their hearts This, not surprisingly, proves to be quite motivational.

The combined rushing of Riggins and Smash leads to a TD drive, the defense causes a tunrover and runs it in for the score which wouldn’t be ineffectual if we knew someone on the defense, Matt throws and absolute spiral to Smash for a long touchdown making the score 26-21. On that playu, Smash dislocates his shoulder on a hard landing, has the trainer pop it back in place after insisting, “This is state” and gets back in the game for Dillon to run a last second hook and lateral from Matt to Riggins to Smash for the game winner.

Some people had a problem with Dillon winning the game. Personally, it seems these things will always go one of two ways: narrowly escaping a loss or barely losing. While a 26-0 2nd half comeback isn’t something that takes place everyday, it happens occasionally, especially when you take into account how young and inexperienced high school football players are. I would have been interested in seeing a blowout either way, but even I’ll admit that isn’t tantamount to great drama. But the game almost had to be an emotional rollercoaster after Coach Taylor announced he was leaving, then gave that phenomenal halftime speech.

Post game on field celebration: Riggins meets up with Jackie and Bo, Street chokes back some tears and points to his still married if on the rocks parents, Taylor and Saracen embrace each other in the most heterosexual manner possible. Smash celebrates with Riggins and his family, Taylor does the same with Tami and Julie.

Off field post-game: Lyla throws away her cheerleading uniform and offers Tyra a drive back in the inivisible car she has had since she was three years old.

Taylor tries to convince Tami that he can stay in Dillon coaching high school football, Tami insists that he has to accept the position because she believes he will grow to resent the new child and her if she doesn’t. It is pretty much the same conversation they had last episode but with Eric suggesting he stay. Julie walks in and we are left wondering what is decided.

Back in Dillon, there is a parade seemingly consisting only of old men, high school girls and the football team. It is a nice montage ran under the score of Daniel Johnston’s “Devil Town”, the second time they have used this song for a montage. The first time being the lead up to Saracen’s first start (the teams second game) at the end of the second episode, “Eyes Wide Open”.

Taylor drives to his office and listens to local talk radio debate his moral compass. It’s a nice contrast pointing out how far removed all these guys are from the situation. He walks inside where Street is prepping the team for the off season in the best speech he has given yet. When the team takes notice of Taylor, they start a slow clap which was expected in the build up to the scene, but not admired, we fade to credits in the middle of the clap.

And with that, we very well may have bid farewell to a great dramatic series. If this season stands alone, at the very least it won’t be compromised by the series stringing out for too many seasons, the plot lines getting stale or a revolving cast we’re not interested in… but I think I speak for all fans of this series that while there is the slim prospect that the integrity of the first season could be devalued, every single one of us wants this series renewed. Some people are writing to the network expressing their desire for a second season, these grasroots movements tend to be very ineffectual but I am up for whatever it would takes. So if your a fan of the series, take ten minutes out of your day and email the network. Those ten minutes could end up leading to twenty-two more hours of dramatic bliss.

Still nothing on Monday or Tuesday nights worth discussing, so until there is an intriguing premiere of some sort then this will become a weekly occurence…

Here’s an article partly blaming Friday Night Lights paltry ratings on the Texas setting. Since according to voting habits, half the country isn’t inclined to relate to any of the conservative values Texas is known to bestow and the show emulates, those in larger cities dismiss its merits based on that alone. In a sort of twisted, partial equivalent, I would say the opposite is true for Arrested Development. And, well, AD has been cancelled for well over a year now.

Keith Olbermann is set to join the pre-game crew for Sunday Night Football on NBC. Isn’t this the liberal equivalent of Rush Limbaugh? Football is about escapism above anything else, no one wants to be reminded of the state of ill-repair on Sunday nights, and that’s exactly what they’ll see when Olbermann pops up on their television.

Speaking of NBC, they are well on their way to delivering the worst recorded ratings in the history of the network. NBC is the only network willing to take any risks, so NBC’s ratings are in the toilet. It’s a great precedent we’re setting for future television series.

There is widespread speculation that BET is editing out the Dockworkers plot from its syndication airing of the second season of The Wire. This would, of course, be absurd. It comprises a significant part of the series: the fall of the working class as it drains on the American city. This might come as a surprise to the network executives at BET, but such dilemmas adversly affect black people as well as whites.

And finally, Tucker Carlson, looking to get out of the news business as evidenced by his bit on Dancing With The Stars, is now set to host a game show on CBS entitled, Do You Trust Me?. So does this mean the resurgence of the bowtie? That’s all anyone wants to know.

Not much TV news in the past week. We’ll try to have more today if we are not too busy at work.

Sorry for the late post, I am in the process of moving and couldn’t get to a computer until around 10:30am et.

A decent block of HBO original programming last night. Probably preferrable to last Sunday if only because the Entourage had so much more substance to it than their premiere. Instead of an excuse to show theirye candy agent and discuss an Edith Wharton adaptation that we know is never going to happen, we got Ari in a gay club talking Lloyd out of whoring himself for a writing talent. Now that, my friends, is substance.

I have to tell you, if Eric Murphy were a real person and we ran in the same circles, I would probably either A) igore him, B) actively hate him or C) beat him senseless. The non-stop yammering about appeasing his girlfriend, her fickle traveling habits that everyone around her must pander to, the constant acceptance that everything she says and does is infallible and cannot be criticized in anyway shape or form… lets just say I was hoping Vince would give Eric an ultimatum. You can either ditch your pretentious, spoiled girlfriend and live off my millions and we’ll pretend like you’re earning it or you can live of her fathers millions and everyone can know you’re not earning it?

To be honest, the character is just pissing me off. He has the same two or three inflections he uses when he talks and all of them grate at my nerves:

-”Yeah, (Somebody’s name), you’re a real (pop culture reference or title that applies to the topic at hand)”

-”Keep it up (Somebody’s name)”

-Asking blatantly obvious questions that exude why he shouldn’t have the role he does.

The Drama-Turtle storyline was humorous at times and accentuated the difference between Turle and Eric. At some point, Turtle actually defended himself and stood for some sort of principal, even if it was for something as trivial as a girl making disparaging remarks about his dog, it was more commendable than anything Eric has done in the past three episodes (You’re agent doesn’t deserve to get fired because you’re friend didn’t want to have breakfast with a studio president, idiot). Drama and Turtle tend to have a seperate storyline every week, at the very least they’re resourceful, which is more than I can say for “E”. Who for the most part is a hapless, spineless, selfish, humorless twit with no understanding of how the world works.

The Ari-Lloyd storyline was priceless, however; well worth the half hour. I have no idea what the applied etiquette is in a gay bar, but when Lloyd slapped Jay Lester (who may or may not have played Andy Millman’s desperate co-worker in Extras), would a scenario like that ever result in a fight or some sort of club supervision? I was surprised it was so widely accepted.

Also, did Ari’s wife completely miss what he was saying? When Ari was feeling guilty he muttered something along the lines of “I sold my soul for a plasma screen and two showerheads in every bedroom”. Obviously not feeling particularly pleased with himself, and she responded with something like, and this is an egregious paraphrase, “Tomorrow is another day”. Something about her demeanor mad eme interpret it as, “Tomorrow you can sell your soul for even MORE money!” Am I the only one who interpreted this as such? Or was this her being supportive and putting his mind at ease? Either way it doesn’t really matter.

All in all, a definite improvement from last week. Minimize the amount of Carla Cugino screentime and I’ll be a happy camper.

They terrify the shit out of me, but it is great to have them back. If for nothing else it gives me something to look forward to on Sundays (even if I am twiddling my thumbs for the eleven waking hours before it airs). It was a fairly methodical episode (at least compared to the first three seasons, which is what all commercial fans of The Sopranos use as a litmus test) and so far there seems to be little complaint on the web. I think we have a little “Don’t know what you got till it’s gone” after effect with the fan base. Which is good, I am disinterested in hearing about people’s body count expectations not being met. Onto the recap…

We open with a flashback to 2004, at the end of season five where Tony is working over the Tony Blundetto situation with Johnny Sac when FBI invades drops in. As Tony fleas through the woods he pitches his gun that is discovered by a high schooler who fires it, is awestruck and runs inside. Just another night in the burbs of New Jersey. Growing up suburban Columbus, if we didn’t hear a gun go off in the distance it was a headline.

We are taken to the present day with the season opening newspaper being thrown at the foot of his driveway, yet Tony is in bed with cops banging at his door. “Is this it?” Is Carmela’s immediate response. Yes, Carm, it’s the rapture. It is some lifestyle these crazy kid live.

Ends up the kid admitted seeing Tony pitch the gun over two years ago. Meadow and Carm both lose their shit. as he is being hauled off by local police. Tony is more contemptuous than worried, seeing as how the FBI isn’t involved.

Driving to prison, Meadow is behind the wheel, Carm is shotgun and AJ is in the back trying to sleep until Carm complains about the sauce on Tony’s pants that AJ grabbed from her closet. I know AJ is a screw up and there is really no plausibile reason for him to grab sauce stained pants (he blames it on dim lighting), but why is she having her twenty year old sun pick out the wardrobe for her husbands court appearance? Especially if it is AJ. I can categorically say, my mother never said to me, “Now pick out something for your father to wear.” Was my family atypical in this regard?

Tony is in prison, he paces around the cell to establish his alpha male status amongst a bunch of crackheads, sits down and we see someone taking a shit behind him.

In court, Tony’s lawyer refers to the kid as, “some punk”. Seems unnecessary. At a deposition, does the defense lawyer have to besmirch the witnesses for the prosecution in order to dismiss their claims? Seems petty.

At Phil Leotardo’s welcome back party, presumably from the hospital, everything is overly tense, probably because there is about to be another power grab. Phil says he plans on doing what Tony suggested in last half season’s finale, almost verbatim. The turnover rate for the NY crew is high, I recognize the little one who was all menacing in the last episode, the hairdo, a couple familiar faces scattered amongst the clan, but I cannot put any names to them.

AJ plays with Blanca’s kid at their house, Tony walks in, Blanca is surprised to see him out already. AJ clarifies what she means: “What she means is, where we come from, people don’t get out of jail that quickly.” And he is right, their is a lot of class/race discrimination in the judicial process, but there are so many things wrong with that statement considering it is coming from AJ, I don’t have the time or bandwith to delve into it.

Tony looks at AJ holding a mexican woman’s (if you think this doesn’t bother him, you’re crazy) kid while talking to Bobby, and lets Bobby convince him into visiting them at Aidronacks. On the drive up, they mellow to the tunes of James Gang, the song with the melody that sounds like any number of Zeppelin tracks. Oh, and Carmela is still working on selling her spec house.

Upon arrival, Tony is taken with the serene nature of the lake and the open air. They banter about their kid, Nica, Janice complains about Tony relieving the gardner who was caught in that Paulie-Feech Lamann quandary from season five of his duties once Johnny Sac went to prison. Bobby fires an automatic weapon in the woods with Tony and offers the intimidating illicit firarm and unnecessary to any non-battlefield scenario to him as a birthday gift. Tony says, “Don’t tell Carm”. How the fuck is he planning on concealing that thing? I suppose he could dismantle it, but still. This thing is like a handheld cannon.

While the four of them sit around and converse, Bobby mentions how his father came into the country illegally, then immediately says they should build a wall along the Mexican border. I suppose the blatant hypocrisy is just consistent with the rest of their lifestyle. Janice pretends to compliment Tony saying their relationship has blossomed because he has changed. He takes offense and everyone ignores him. Tony mentions to Carm how some pool story reminds him of Nica playing near the water. Carm elaborates about some kid who drowned in a pool and is now in a wheelchair. He says, “I can’t get that story out of my mind”. Clearly the Sopranos have a morbid fascination/fear of death and innocence. “You’re always with the babies out da windas”, is Tony’s exact quote summarizing his mother’s season one fascination with infant mortatlity.

The following morning, Carm gives Tony what looks to be a mind altering blow job, judging by the expression on his face. She arises and we come to find out that it’s a birthday gift of sorts. Shortly thereafter Bobby and Tony go out on the vintage corvette version of a speedboat, seriously, if Bobby jumped on the end of this thing it would flip over like a fucking canoe.

Carm talks to AJ on the phone and he claims he’s at work when he is actually fucking his girlfriend in his parents bed and throwing a party. When Carmela ovehears Blanca on the other end of the phone, AJ claims to be working, “that’s Fran at the pizzeria”. Nice unsubtle descriptive backstory there, writers. So sometime sicne the first half of the season and today, AJ lost his construction job and is now working at a pizza parlor. Maybe his father will end up buying him that club, after all.

Blanca comes stumbling up to the bed and says how wondeful the jacuzzi is. “You can thank my dad, Blanca” are the words I think AJ will respond with. And, holy shit, I never thought about this but what if its revealed that Tony has slept with her, that’s his kid and this is some sort of revenge plot for her. Because, she said the father was an asshole, she has worked at the construction site, Paulie at least seemed to know her well, if not intimately; she has no real plausible reason to be dating AJ and that look Tony gave her kid while on the phone with Bobby. It is probably too far fetched but whatever, I’m throwing caution to the wind and expecting some sort of sordid tale. Tony is very posessive of his former girlfriends as exhibited with Irina. Is tony enough of a monster to beat his own son with a belt? Absolutely.

Carm and Janice have a conversation about Tony, she laments about their poor upbringing and says her therapist claims their mom pitted the three of them against each other. Ad how Livia only really started to resent her kids when they started to talk and form independent thoughts, but is quick to add she still loved them. What kind of sick fuck is agitated by the development of their own spawn? We’ll find out shortly enough.

Tony and Bobby are having a telling conversation that includes Bobby having never killed anyone, which is surprising, you figure it would have been mandatory. Tony calls it a pain in the balls, I think he means psychologically, but Bobby says especially with all the DNA evidence.
Tony goes on to elaborate on his distancing relationship with Chris (but does not mention his name), then implies that Bobby might be in consideration to be his successor.

We cut to the four of them and Tony receiving gifts. Janice made a home video which Tony looks repulsed by but is never the less thankful for. Carm replaces the golf clubs she set in the driveway in “Whitecaps” for him to run over, he is legitimately thankful for these.

Carm and Janice sing karoke and it’s bloody fucking awful, particularly Carm, Edie Falco had to have been intentionally singing worse than she is capable of.

Next is the greatest Monopoly scene in the history of entertainment. Everyone is tense but amazingly loose and drunk, they have an argument about the Free Parking rule that Bobby is adamantly opposed to wavering on, “The Parker brothers went to great trouble to come up with these rules”. Tony eventually hits it and Bobby complains, Tony mocks him comically, “How ’bout that? How ’bout that?” Bobby, drunk and full of courage, is not amused.

The kid runs downstairs and Janice offers her a candy bar to go to bed, which is counter-productive not only psychologically (which both Tony and Bobby are quick to point out) but also phsyiologically. What three year old can go to sleep immediately after eating a sugar induced candy bar?

Tony randomly brings up Janice filming her and Barbara fighting when tehy were kids and bribing them with the video, he tries to guilt her over it despite her denial that this ever took place. Carm is quick to mention that even if she didn’t do this, that she fed him a milk bone. Tony respnds with one of those incredulous, “Whaatt?”’s. Janice, quick to change the subject, shares some story about their dad shooting a bullet through the beehive of his gumars hair; this only infuriates him more. Has there ever been a moe angst-ridden family on television? There is so much hostility, resentment and rage they hold towards one another.

Tony makes a joke about Janice and boardwalks after she lands on the monopoly space. She gets doubles and gets a chance card about winning second place in a beauty contest to which Tony has an additional not so flattering remark about (A Greman Shepards shaved asshole came in first), Tony feigns an apology after Bobby demands one, then moments later continues with the boardwalk thing and Bobby sucker punches him. The fight that precedes between these two behemoths is uncanny, I can’t believe they didn’t fall through the wall when Tony was strangling Bobby against it.

Eventually Tony goes down after Carm distracts him (she is thrown to the floor and her shoulder lands on a coffee table) and Bobby takes adavantage. Realizing what he did and who he did it to, Bobby hops in his car to runaway, backs into a tree and now has to face the music. As evidenced by his face, he has no desire to. In oe of the funnier symbolic bits ever, Carm flicks a blody monopoly hotel off her husbands face. He is a fucking mess, and the fact his their is an overflow of blood all over him from it being thinned by the alcohol isn’t helping.

In their bedroom, Janice is chastising Bobby for what he did, claiming, “I can take care of myself” and reminds him that he isn’t going to let this go unpunished. Well, to be fair, Bobby did try to leave.

In the middle of the night (4:04am, to be precise) Tony wakes up, stumbles into Janice and Bobby’s room, scares the shit out of all three of us, and simply says, “You beat me fair and square”. Despite being heavily intoxicated, Janice and Bobby were really sleeping on pins and needles as evidenced by their response when he busts in. He leaves without shutting their door, which just completely illegitimizes the drunken peace offering.

In the morning, Carm wants to leave, Tony has an unmistakable shiner (how is this going to be explained to the tribesmen?). Bob and Jan talk the two of them into staying. Tony goes out to a lawn chair and stares out into the lake alone, god only knows what he’s thinking at this point. Janice observes him and knows, simply by his posturing, “I’ve seen that sitting in the chair thing”, Bobby dismisses it although he is clearly contemplating.

Carm approaches him and tries to make small talk, Tony delves into some kids ass he kicked in high shcool saying, “You were blown away”. They go back and forth about his physical setback after the shooting, Tony not not receiving enough credit for getting them the house. She walks away disgusted.

Tony takes into account Mercedes and Nica seeing a song about ducks as he loads the car with his golf clubs and that absurd platoon killer.

At lunch, everyone tries to make small talk, Tony abruptly changes the subject again, saying he would have won a year ago before his accident and is also quick to point out it was a sucker punch. Bobby, for whatever reason, is defensive.

Carm and Nica are playing in the very shallow end of the lake when Janice comes out and causes a scene, the girl refuses to come out of the water and Jan goes ape shit. Hey, Janice takes after her mother! Looks like someone else cannot handle independent thoughts expressed from the mouths of children. Seriously though, I fear for Nica.

When her and mercedes walk away, Janice does what Tony did earlier, tells a story about Richie and how she lost her cool after he hit her. Though she doesn’t mention who it is (other than her BF) or that she killed him. Nice selective editing, Janice. She points out she is more like her father than Tony, Carmela interprets it the wrong way, and if u recall, she knows about Richie. She delves into defending her husband calling him, “not a vindictive man”. Someone doesn’t know their spouse all that well, and how could she, really?

At the meeting with the “canucks”, they are willing to give them cheap(er) pills if they are willing to kill the father of his sisters child. They all act disgusted with said man and the only one who really gives a shit is Bobby, Tony replies, “That’s some tough, talk mon a mie”. The Canadians go to talk, Tony passively tells Bobby to handle the execution, totally disregarding the conversation they had earlier on the boat. No, not vindictive in anyway.

Tony and Carm leave, Janice says, “you let him win, smart”, after they both claim Tony won a round of golf. Bobby goes immediately from saying his goodbyes to packing for montreal to murder someone for the first time. He is already more agitated than I have ever seen him, “Stop FUCKING nagging me” is his reply to an inquisitive Janice.

We see some kid go into a laundromat alone, Bobby follows him, draws his gun and fires away. The bullet goes into the dryer and keeps rattling around. Bobby leans over the guy and holds his gun to his head, the guy grabs his shirt and bobby kills him with a second shot. The guy rips off some of the shirt off his chest.

Tony is back home and gets a call from his lawyer saying the gun charge will be rolled up into a RICO case the Feds are working on.

Bobby returns home and “This Magic Moment” Kicks in, his daughter comes running up to him and Janice hollers something incoherently, the entire scene has a David Lynch feel of lost innocence and Bobby clutches his daughter, desperately, lovingly and frighteningly. Fade to credits. Good God, can this show be any more emotionally draining? Great beginning to the end, though.

Side notes:

-Those who picked up on Carmela rubbing her shoulder before being thrown to the gorund, nice perception. Some have pointed out that neck and shoulder pain has been linked to ovarian cancer, something Carmela was worried about in Season Three. If this ends up being the case, I cannot think of any better comeuppance for Tony than his wife dying from something he is powerless to prevent.

-Janice spoke of her temper mimmicking Johnny’s more so than Livia’s, and Tony being the exact opposite, this clearly foreshadowed Tony bullying Bobby into murdering someone over a fight that originated over diverging opinions on the free parking rule.

Previews for Sunday, Chris, Phil and