Grid Effect

Pre-credits scene, it’s the following morning and Boo is making a back path to the water well where people regularly converge to talk to see igf anyone is talking about him. Stacy and Earl collaborate to get rid of him, so his paranoia isn’t without reason. Yau is having more fun. I like Boo’s innovation and assures us that they’ll never suspect him to be lying behind the thicket. This guy’s a pro.

Full length credits.

Stacy takes out the treemail and reads it to the gang. Dreamz doesn’t have a car, or a license as a result and he anticipates this as being the car challenge, so he is doubly ecstatic. He guarantees that if the contest involves strength or agility of any kind, he’s taking the car. It’s a Ford truck called Superduty, which Probst reminds us of at least 50,000 times. My friend has the Nissan equivalent to a Superduty and it gets 10 miles a gallon. Probably not the ideal car for a person of modest means.

RC consists of splitting them into two teams and having them walk over several seesaws while tied to the two other teammates, Earl, Cassandra and Dreamz destroy Stacy, Boo and Yau in this portion, they also run straight through something called a cargo crawl. The three non black players make up some decent time in the cargo crawl and they all start digging for a hatchet, the non-black team actually surpasses them in this to win the first leg of the challenge.

The three of them compete in an axe throwing competition, they have to cut two ropes to win the truck. Boo hits his first, Yau and Stacy both miss, Yau hits his second, Stacy and Boo both miss, Stacy misses horrendously, Boo barely misses and Yau breaks the thing, winning the Superduty. He wants to negotiate with the car and offers it to Dreamz under the bylines that if they both make the final four and Dreamz wins immunity, he will forego it and give it to Yau-Man. Dreamz willingly accepts. I guess since it is all on camera, its binding. Yau sends himself to exile for the HI clue. If nothing else, you have to respect Dreamz’s appreciation. This entire scene was intriguing, but all of it was given away in the credits.

On exile, they do an overhead tracking shot that makes Yau look even smaller than he really is. He says Earl’s been there too many times and Cassandra wouldn’t survive at all. Yau congratulates himself on his “generosity” for “giving” Dreamz the car. Doesn’t this make Yau look a little too concerned with his progress in the game. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but rightly or wrongly, people are often faulted for this.

“Everything was so nice about the truck, and it’s all mine” Dreamz exposes the truck. They are delivering school supplies to a bunch of supposedly impoverished Fijian kids. It isn’t really school supplies some much as it is athletic equipment. The teachers get a fully loaded moblie office and they all eat lunch. They all talk with the kids. Dreamz appears the most comfortable. Apparently it just dawned on Dreamz why Yau went out of his way to offer him the car for the potential immunity, and now he’s going to prematurely get rid of him. I like it when you can see him beginning to strategize.

Cassandra and Dreamz discuss Yau and Earl, Dreamz says he could buy twelve cars with a million dollars, God, this is like watching The Wire. Apparently Earl isn’t too discrete about looking for the idol. Cassandra wants to get rid of Yau, but feels like Boo is a bigger threat. Dreamz wants to go to the final three with Boo and Cassandra. Dreamz realizes the car isn’t strictly generosity.

At IC, Dreamz thanks Yau for the car. the challenge is throwing a ball attached to a string through an iron hoop in order to lower a balance beam, they are doing this several times before they can retrieve a buoy in the water. Dreamz is first to get his. Cassandra drops her entire ball and string in the water. Boo and Earl both connect. Boo crosses and Earl crosses. There’s only room in the second leg for one more person… and it’s Yau.

The four guys start the second round, the iron hoop is about 11 feet high, Yau is first to get across but not before collapsing into the water, Boo gets across.

In the last leg its Boo and Yau, Boo gets across first and is walking across the balance beams, then gets his hook and wins his second straight immunity. So now that that he is not an option, my money is on Stacy or Yau going home.

At camp, the gang is walking back and Yau praises Boo’s skills at games with ball and rope (I am assuming he is referring to a previous challenge but I cannot recall what). Yau says he knows where the other idol is based on the three clues and apparently promised to share it with Earl. Apparently it is in a tree, near a tower of rocks, and a hollow pine tree. Low and behold, Earl finds it. So now, they both have idols. The producers were entirely too liberal with these things this season at least they have to play it before the votes are read. Yau keeps saying they are guaranteed a place in the final four, which leads me to believe he is going home.

Dreamz is now all buddy, buddy with his mortal enemy, Stacy, I like how nothing is in anyway personal or emotional in terms of voting out or aligning with contestants this season. Everyone is just a number to virtually everyone else. Stacy and Cassandra are both on board with Dreamz’s plan. But Yau is too backloaded with assurance. Cassandra realizes she would be burning two bridges with both Earl and Yau. Earl wants Stacy out and seems to be disillusioned enough to believe that she is conceding defeat, she lies to Earl and Dreamz lies to Yau. Yau is more skeptical than Earl, and is eying everyone at campus, specifically Dreamz.

He goes to Earl and says he has “bad vibes”. God, I hope they’re bad enough for him to play the idol tonight and that overly confident Earl didn’t talk him out of it.

At TC, Dreamz explains the truck deal at RC, Yau says he expects Dreamz to live up to his word. Yau also realizes how risky it is, at least in terms of the next two rounds. Boo says he is indifferent as to who has what idols (It’s amazing he’s in the final five), Stacy is concerned because she is late to the alliance and has reasons to be concerned. Dreamz gives some bullshit song and dance about having to get him out before final four. Which is semi-valid, much like everything he says. Damn this is exciting. Stacy takes this opportunity to vocalize how the vote might be split and anything is possible. Onto the vote… Yau votes for Stacy (apologizes nd wishes her luck), Dreamz votes for Yau (apologizing, saying that’s how the game goes)… And Yau plays the fucking idol! (Note: It takes a lot for me to use an exclamation point. A lot.) Votes read as such, though it’s obvious how its going to develop:
Stacy
Yau
Stacy
Yau
Yau
Stacy is sent home. Yau and Dreamz look as satisfied as I do right now. Probst informs us that the last time they can use the idol is at next tribal council.

In her parting words, Stacy is dignified. Which isn’t really surprising, she only seems to have these lapses in judgment when in conversation and she forgets the camera is on her. But that is when most people reveal their general demeanor. You know, when they’re not on television or are so used to it they occasionally forget.

Tonight: Dreamz claims he’ll honor his deal, by saying, “I am: “Dreamz”" and its supposedly “shocking”. Nothing much is revealed.

Damn. This was vintage Sopranos, satisfying for the fanboys and the art house goons (note: I’d like to think I’m somewhere in between but I am most likely a goon). Tony, continuing his persistent alienation of all those around him and Chris following suit; the difference being that Tony is a boss and such behavior is more likely to be tolerated. Even though, as it relates to those in The Mob, Chris actually has something to be upset about. At least more so than Tony. Honestly, I don’t think Christopher Moltisanti is much longer for the world but good golly is Michael Imperioli a hell of an actor. Talk about range. Anyways, Onto the recap…

We open this episode with yet another set of Tony lying in bed (I think this makes three out five episodes in this (half) season), Tony walks downstairs singing “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd. Specifically, the lyrics: “When I was young I had a fever/My hands felt just like two balloons”. Which is relevant later in the episode as it relates to Tony’s issues with his parents ans his insecurity as a parent himself. AJ is up early do to narcolepsy and depression, his mom offers him food for who knows how many times and AJ vocalizes his annoyance. He disparages his job but claims it is the only thing he has, Tony makes it abundantly clear rejects AJ’s potential depression.

Chris’ father in law is selling the power tools outside of his store (the products Tony and Paulie setup from the Cubans in Miami).

At the bing, Chris and Paulie discuss their venture, as it surprisingly lucrative. Chris is chastised by Paulie for his cheers with a club soda, points out that Paulie and Tony are hypocrites when it comes to how he handles his alcoholism. Paulie invites him out for some prime rib and gambling, but after the argument that just ensued, he resentfully declines. Paulie takes offense, as you knew he would and asks, “What you’re watching your fucking cholesterol now, too?” Chris is not amused.

At Satriales, Tony talks with agent Harris and one of his assistants about Phil Leotardo, then Tony inquires what sort of favors could be done should he give them info about the two Arab guys that frequented the Bing in the first half of this season. He calls Chris for their numbers, Chris seems skeptical when Tony says he is with “some people”. This could end up incriminating Chris. Tony discusses the two Arabs history with the feds and other than a phone number and some gun peddling and credit card scam, it is all pretty vague.

AJ is visiting Blanca at the construction site, telling some inane pizzeria story. One of the workers walks by and says hello in a flirtatious manner, she is overly receptive, apparently AJ has been having crying jags and when Blanca threatens to stop seeing him, he breaks down right on the spot. Claiming he cannot sleep without her and clutching onto her. When she pushes him away, he walks away dejectedly and masking his sobbing from some passing construction workers.

At the bing, Tony is hitting on the stripper who gave him head in “Cold Stones”. When he gets a call from Carm and suggests he come home because she is concerned for AJ and is afraid to leave him alone. Yikes. I don’t think anyone wants to see that.

Tony talks to him and they discuss his station in life, AJ feels like he won’t ever attain anyone else, Tony says it’s a good thing because he was care taking for another man’s kid. Tony says, “These fucking women, they’ll drive you nuts with your emotions and whatnot”, what exactly doesn’t make Tony emotional? Tony says he’s special because he’s, “handsome, smart, hard worker, and… lets be honest, white, that counts for a lot nowadays.” Tony suggests he get a blow job as a cure all, AJ shouts he doesn’t want one, when Tony asks him to keep his voice down, he tips off the fact that Carmela is standing right outside his door, she takes the cue to walk in, sending AJ flopping face down in his pillow. AJ ends the conversation by asking, “What’s the fucking point?” Tony is befuddled, concerned.

At Chris’, Kelli answers the door for a cookout the two of them are having. It’s Barbara, and I am always worried about her husband, Paul. Kelli seems sweet, but it’s at a point in the series that it’s impossible to even like anyone remotely associated with the main characters.

Chris takes notice of Bobby and Tony talking business out of his earshot while he grills. Tony approaches and mocks Chris’ nonalcoholic beer. Tony makes a comment about never seeing Chris, then instructs him on how to grill some steaks. Chris thinks he should understand how hard it is for him to be around the bing because he’s in therapy and “understands the human condition”. He tries, lord does he try. Chris says between the strippers at the Bing and half of them being coke heads, and the sandwiches at Satriale’s, he cannot avoid temptation, so he avoids the locales of temptation all together. Tony suggests he shows some balls, and compares alcoholism to eating eggplant. Chris levels with him about his father, Dickey, saying, “my father, your hero, he wasn’t much more than a fucking junkie.”

Outside of Kelli’s dads hardware store, little Paulie and someone else are stealing items out of his store when Al pulls up with a handgun drawn. Apparently he has a silent alarm that goes off in his bedroom, little Paulie puts on the facade that his party attempted contacting Chris. It’s all bullshit to keep the old man on his heels.

AJ notices a happy couple in his pizzeria and quits on the spot. Crying.

Patsy gives Tony some money and says how beneficial its been with his son doing some loan sharking at college. Tony seems impressed yet dissatisfied, as this only emphasizes how abnormal AJ’s behavior is. He goes outside and sees Carlo with his son, Jason, and Patsi’s son, Jason. While admiring some of the dancers, Tony sits down with them as they exclaim, “majoring in cash, minoring in ass” at Rutgers. There having a party and Tony suggests they call AJ, they say they will. Tony covers for his sons dismal situation saying he dumped Blanca because he didn’t want anything long term.

Paulie and Chris discuss the power tools thing, it is heated, as one would imagine. I can’t recall the last time these two had a levelheaded conversation.

Chris goes charging into the bing to voice his displeasure with Paulie. Tony is dismissive to his plight, Bobby asks what happened and Chris gives him a stern look, like Bobby has no business being anywhere near this conversation. Tony tells Chris to wait outside while he is conducting actual business, and once again rubs his sobriety in his face, suggesting he grab a Lime Rickey.

Meadow tells her parents she is concerned about AJ, and how he is parroting some girl she knew at Columbia that killed herself.

AJ lies downstairs watching television, Tony sits down in the recliner next to him to seemingly make sure AJ doesn’t do anything drastic.

Tony sits in the waiting room and ponders the same blue statue he pondered in the pilot. They go inside and Tony refers to his therapy as a jerk off, but he cannot leave because his kid is suicidal. He says Carmela is getting a recommendation from his pediatrician (Isn’t he twenty?) because of Melfi’s recommendation for his daughter advised her to travel to Europe. Tony laments how his kids have a generally happy demeanor and his son is so atypical. He says he knows he is prone to depression and he can handle it. But likens AJ’s situation to that of a sick baby, and how a parent wishes he/she could trade places with him/her so he/she wouldn’t have to suffer. It’s touching and would be sympathetic if it was anyone else articulating it. He is regretful of passing his “Rotten, putrid genes” down to his son. Questions if this is all there is, after all the emotional exploration.

Chris is at AA, ranting about Tony’s hypocrisy, “pours your drink with one hand, judges you with the other if you drink it”. His frustration is immense and I cannot believe he wasn’t more volatile.

AJ is in the home studio, flipping channels and Tony walks in, suggests he keeps it on a John Wayne film, being that he is the quintessential traditional alpha male. AJ and Tony discuss the prospect of this party, Tony says, “you don’t want to talk, don’t want to eat… but that being the case you’re fucking going to that party”.

Chris talks with the businessman in the stairwell about his marriage and explains almost everything abiout the Adriana situation. Chris feels like it went unappreciated. Chris thinks that’s when their relationship got poisoned. I would suggest that it lost much of its solidarity when Chris claimed he didn’t love him after the Jackie Jr. shooting in “Amour Fou”. At least, that’s when the downward spiral began.

Little Paulie and friend wait for Al to leave his hardware store, then go in to get the drills from the power tools scam. When confronted by one of the store managers, they pretend to call Al and leave a message and all but force their way in, they would have done so physically if he had made a fuss.

In Therapy, AJ discusses Blanca to a male shrink and he thinks she left because his family is in such a high tax bracket, which may be misinformed. We are never given a clear cut reason as to why she left, but my guess would be is she didn’t want the mob affiliation. He admits he’s been feeling suicidal but has never tried to kill himself. Recapping his therapy sessions are much easier than Tony’s.

At said party, Jason is trying to get AJ into loan sharking, AJ dismisses it with his SAT score. A stripper offers him a dance and he unenthusiastically accepts as the other Jason strolls by with a stripper completely shitfaced.

At a poker game at Vinnie’s, Chris walks in and proceeds to beat the shit out of little Paulie. Then caps it off by throwing him out a two story window. He lives.

Carmela busts into their room, aghast that Tony would force AJ into going to a party at Bada Bing. Carmela points out his depression, his age, Tony thinks it’s a positive, “I know you’d rather see him sitting in his room drinking coco, but this is the way back to college. Trust me”. Again, for anyone else this could be true, but Tony has forced AJ into a friendship with the second coming of the mob.

Chris apologizes to Tony and it is intertwined with shots of Paulie doing numerous donuts on his lawn. Tony blames Chris for not being around, saying their business is face-to-face (remember Goodfellas?). Paulie destroys his lawn, Chris suggests that Paulie leaves a cell phone message if he needs products out of his father-in-laws store. Tony says he is paying Little Paulie’s hospital bills, which seems fitting, and that he will talk to Paulie, which we never see.

Chris calls Tony, outrages about his lawn and terrorizing his wife and daughter. Tony tells him to relax, Chris ends up hanging up on him reassuring him that he’s not going to cause any problems for Tony.

At a frat party, AJ is starting to blend in a little more. Some kid named Victor comes up asking for a loan from the Jason’s, they turn him down and use AJ as a figurehead, referring to him as “Tony Soprano Jr.” AJ does not seem perturbed by all of this like he was in the first half of this season.

In the morning, Carmela is now ecstatic that AJ never came home. This must symbolize that spousal influence democrats always complain about when it comes to married women.

In the back of the bing, Chris walks in. Sal Vitro is forced into doing the landscaping. Poor bastard. He approaches Paulie at the bar to make amends. They are both pretty even keel, Paulie wants them to forget about it, saying there’s “no point in ruminating”. Chris says sorry, Paulie as well. Paulie hollers the bartender over and asks her to get Chris a club soda, he opts for whatever Paulie is having and begins to drink. Funny how the tipping point was someone offering him a nonalcoholic beverage. If Chris had been mocked for his sobriety, he most surely would have persisted with it out of spite.

AJ and mini-mafia insists that AJ come with them to track down Victor, where he is boasting to two women about his eventual transfer to Syracuse. I have a cousin from The Cuse, it’s not somehwere you voluntarily want to move to. Even if you are indebted to lineage of the mob. They catch him at the fridge and drag him out of the place and force him into AJ’s car.

Cut to them dragging Victor out in the woods, they ask if he’s going to cry after slapping him around, then take some sulfuric acid they stole from lab and pour it on Victor’s foot. AJ assists in holding the kid down, and ever his father’s son, looks on with a really deranged, infatuated stare. I guess when they say depression is rage toward inward, this is the result of that if it isn’t treated properly, it eventually infects those around him.

At the bing, Chris is rattling on drunk about the love for his kid, Paulie cracks a joke, Chris misunderstands, he continues, Paulie cracks a joke about how his kid will still be in fourth grade by 2027 and that she’ll be working at the bing, Chris does a slow mo take on the room as everyone laughs, ala Tony’s realization with Feech LaMann.

Chris goes immediately to JT because Shooter McGavin is out of town. Chris is lamenting drunkenly his diminishing status with the mob. He starts revealing a bunch of names (Adriana, Ralphie) and points out all the stories he has seen and done. Chris says he’s been “ostrafied”. He is seeking sympathy and apparently has forgotten how many times he beat the shit out of this guy. JT insists he stop revealing information that he isn’t supposed to hear. Chris says he might rat to move down to Arizona, since ultimately he would be closer to Hollywood. I can’t believe JT is so combative hear, talking to drunk mobster with so much disdain, when JT says flatly, “Chris, you’re IN the mafia!”. Chris starts to leave before he pulls out a gun and pops him in between the eyes. Between him and Sal Vitro, that should be enough reason for anyone to not get involved with the mob.

Tony pulls up listening to Tom Sawyer. He sees another car shortly following him and runs to grab a sawed off, realizes it’s AJ and puts it away before AJ can make it out. They walk in to see Carm and Meadow eating because Rachel Ray was on Leno. All four of them are sitting at a table, Tony invites AJ to sit down, AJ says he’s wired, his parents none the wiser.

Chris stumbles out of his car, and props up one of the healthier trees, before walking inside. The credits role to Los Lobos “The Valley”.

This was a phenomenal episode. I suppose Tony would rather have a mobbed up AJ than a mopey, suicidal one. It isn’t clear if Tony knew what he was doing when he forced AJ into hanging out with the Jason’s, but he knew about their loansharking and cannot claim ignorance on it. In season three, when Melfi inquired about his son potentially following in his fathers footsteps, Tony replies, and I’m paraphrasing, “AJ, in this thing…he wouldn’t make it”. So this reads to me that Tony wouldn’t wish his lifestyle on his kin, but much of that hesitation to bring him into his criminal enterprise is AJ’s perceived weakness, not for his overall well-being.

Anyhow, enjoy the episode tomorrow night. I’ll have a Survivor posted before the finale tomorrow at 8pm.

Let me start this by saying, there was a lot of good stuff last night. From Stanley’s disapproval with all of his coworkers, to Andy floating down the lake in one of those sumo outfits, to Michael’s ill-fated strategy in finding a replacement so he can take a job at corporate that he doesn’t even know he has; the majority of the episode entailed a bastion of cleverity and hilariousness.

But then came Pam’s “speech”, and I all but concluded this show jumped the shark moments beforehand with Dwight sacrificing his feet to the gods for a regional manager position. While the way the series is now (more like Scrubs than Arrested Development in terms of thematics), I expected a revelation of sorts from Pam at some point this season. I just didn’t expect it to come under such abnormal circumstances. It’s almost like they ripped this straight from any standard chick flick and adapted if for television.

First off, the bizarre setting. Pam didn’t necesarily have to convey all of her emotions in the office or anything, but to drag everyone out to some remote lakefront camp (seemingly solely for this purpose) and having her psuedo-propose a friendship with the possibility of an intimate relationship was a little over the top.

The entire scene reminded me of the end of Fever Pitch where Drew Barrymoore ran across the field at Fenway Park during the 2004 World Series to prevent Jimmy Fallon from selling his season tickets to her friends husband, then they kissed and the audience cheered. The only missing elements to being the exact TV equivalent of this is a crowd of hundreds of campers listening to her speech. Then when she finishes, for there to be a conveniently placed rowboat docked right next to their camp that Pam and Jim take off down the lake in with all the drowsy campers clapping in elation.

Look, I understand the need for relationship drama/tension on television. It’s a natural source of entertainment and since relationships consume so much day-to-day living for, everyone really, seeing it played out ideally in our escapism methods (watching television) is in and of itself identifiable. I also understand that this series is now geared towards a core audience of twenty something women, a demographic that is particularly favorable to things like empowering trots across hot coals and outpours of emotion. But this is The Office, wasn’t the motive always for laughs?

Regular readers of this site know I use the TWoP message boards as a barometer for the direction a series is taking and how their audience is reacting towards it. If you look at what people are saying about last nights episode you will notice two things. One, I (or if you are male then you as well) am all the more convinced I’m one of, like seventeen remaining regular heterosexual male viewers of this series. Which is fine, I am an avid viewer of Friday Night Lights, this isn’t a position I’m unaccustomed too. But when we start comparing FNL to The Office then one of the series has taken a dreadfully wrong turn.

Two, there is virtually no interest in any comedy. I would venture to guess that at least, a bare minimum of posts are related to Pam “being okay” and how Jim doesn’t “deserve her” because he was being an “asshole”. Maybe this simply accentuates the difference between me and every woman I have ever known, but I didn’t interpret what he was doing as particularly offensive. From all I could tell he was simply enjoying a day away from the office with his girlfriend. Maybe much to Pam’s (and all of her fans) chagrin, but he cannot be responsible for that, can he? For the most part any obnoxiousness seemed to be completely incidental. If someone could clarify in the comments section I would be much obliged.

Other notes:

-Creed catching teh fish with his bar hands was definitely the comedic highlight of the episode for me. I like how the only symmetry to his character is he embodies everything culturally irregular and offbeat.

-Kelly not knowing who Bob Hope is but then comparing him to Amanda Bynes. And Ryan’s reaction to it.

-”I would rather work for an upside down mop with a bucket on top of it than anyone else in this office other than myself. Game on.” -Stanley, talking himself into jumping through Michaels hoops.

-”Tell them I’m floating away, obviously… Angela, it’s fairly simple, look at what I’m doing, and tell somebody it.” -Andy’s pleas for help as he floats down the river on his back in a sumo outfit falling on Angela’s purposefully deaf ears.

-”I’m not sure if there’s a conversion rate between a gold star, ten points and a thumbs up” -Pam, trying to avoid doing an absurd task for Michael.

-Jenna Fischer looked absolutely stunning tonight. I can’t even slam her husbands awful horror films now because any criticism could be chalked up to sheer jealousy. Yes, this is me being unabashedly superficial and yes, I would have had a similar reaction to Toby if put in the same situation.

Like I said, there was plenty of worthwhile moments in last nights episode, but again just too much emphasis on the ongoing Jim-Pam saga. I never thought they would do it, but this show is creeping closer and closer to Friends territory. Season finale next week should be interesting.

Just as a side note, in case you were too lazy to click on the Friday Night Lights link, the series has been renewed for a second season. Huzzah!

We have a Sopranos recap and potentially a Survivor recap coming this weekend.

Pretty mundane episode. I thought Alex made a decent case to vote out Yau-Man, but the contestants voted with their hearts instead of their heads. Really my only rooting interest is that Stacy is outed sooner than later. Onto the recap…

Pre-credits scene, Apparently Alex had a sneaking suscpiscion that they would split the vote between him and Mookie (hence his vote for Mookie). Earl was worried they would vote for each other and since that was true for Alex, Earl gets really heavy handed and tells Boo and Stacy that’s the last time he will ever do something he’s opposed to. Fucking King-Tut-ish is the best way to classify this vhastising. I am surprised he didn’t force them to sacrifice an appendage. Stacy apparently approached Alex and said she wants to be friends with Alex after the show. Alex’s response, “Like I care”, at least to the camera. Stacy asked Boo what’s going on, he says everyone is talking except her and Alex, she probably doesn’t appreciate the association. And Boo is downright Blairwitch cryptic in this exchange, she storms up to the circle, late, and symbolically out of the loop.

Nice overhead shot of the Fijian hills, or some hills in Fiji, whichever title is appropriate. While everyone is sleeping, Alex said he is just laying low and going all Buster Bluth on us. He says he’s like a ninja right now, but if you’re going to say you’re trying not to be seen or heard, the correlation to the Wilford School For Boys is too easy. Earl wants to bring Dreamz into a four alliance with Yau, Cassandra and Dreamz. Saying that Dreamz is occasionally shaky, but has been proving himself. Wow, that’s a lot of trust instilled on someone who turned on his former alliance just to “mix things up”.

Yau would rather bring in Boo or Stacy, because he says Dreamz and Cassandra would never vote for each other. He says he wishes Michelle was still around. I have never heard someone reminisce in casual conversation like that before. He wants Stacy because obviously all three of them would be prone to vote out Stacy before each other. You have to love how he sees the big picture.

At TC, they are ripping pieces of meat off a giant pork ball with their hands tied behind their back. Whoever has the most on their plate when time expires, wins. The winner sends one person to exile island and receives an advantage in the next IC that comes in the form of a velvet bag, that person along with the two runner ups will do a helicopter tour.
The conventional logic here is to tear off a piece simultaneously with someone else so the pork ball is more steady. No one is inclined to work with Alex. Boo looks like the favorite, Yau is doing well for himself and after that it’s a toss-up. This was all very “Lord of The Flies” and I have expected them to start hunting Alex. The results:
Boo: 9 lbs
Yau: 6 lbs
Cassandra: 5.8 lbs
Stacy: 4.3 lbs
Earl: 5 lbs
Dreamz: 6lbs
Alex: 5.2 lbs

So Boo wins, along with Yau and Dreamz getting to go on the reward challenge. He sends Earl to Exile, prefacing it with, “I know you don’t take this personally”. Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I want to go, dickhead.

The helicopter shows up the following day at camp. It is fairly scenic, apparently Yau grew up on islands similar to the ones they are flying over. He and Dreamz were annoyed by Boo’s incessant talking, it isn’t portrayed as all that agitating, but moe as them being overly sensitive. They hiked to a remote locale raft for some white-water rafting. Dreamz sums up the experience, “went white water rafting, probably never do it again, would like to take my family on something like this”. Alright, its unpopular, but I am actively rooting for him to win now. Especially with the way the he turned an otherwise dull season into something more eventful.

At exile, Earl is ecstatic for the idol clue.

Back at reward, they stopped somewhere random, except this random stop enabled them to eat caviar, lunch meat, and other assorted items. They also received letters from back home. Thankfully, its not a sappy, tearful moment until Dreamz gets a letter from his sister that invokes some emotion, but its not so over emotional that it queues the awful, sympathetic classical music.

With everyone (minus Earl) at camp now, everyone agrees they’re annoyed with Boo’s talking. Ironically, they’re all sitting around talking while Boo is by himself as quiet as a mouse. Alex, instead of recruiting him and going for two other likely candidates (namely Stacy and Dreamz), he begins to advocate for Boo’s ouster over his own.

At IC, Boo’s advantage is climbing steps, which implies he foregoes the first round and automatically advances to the final, because everyone else has to dig for theirs. The steps allow them to climb a pole, and plant a flag. First one to plant their flag wins. Dreamz gets his first step, Cassandra is playing like many in her position tend to do: with nothing to lose. Alex is going to reach the center of the Earth eventually. Dreamz gets his second step…and his third. He moves on. Yau gets his first, Alex gets his first, the two start throwing their sand into each others lane. Alex is the second contestant to get all three.

So it’s Boo, Alex and Dreamz in the finals. They start in the water, Boo gets out to a quick lead but Alex skips the steps and just shimmies up the thing. Unfortunately for him, he cannot get on the platform, and Boo takes it in a landslide of sorts. He begins giving a lot of raspy, overtly masculine, “Yahh”’s.

Boo is ecstatic, he probably started to feel a little isolated with everyone gawking at him and talking. Yau claims he won’t need to use his idol, which means he will. Al;ex has decided to try an inverted approach and wait for someone to talk to him, because an aggressive approach seldom works. Which is true, but being intentionally passive is probably counter-effective as well. One, it gives people the opportunity to play the “He must not want to stay here” card. Two, if they’re all secure for one more Tribal Council, why would they go out of their way to help you?

Never the less, Cassandra is the first person to do so. I really think she was just trying to be courteous, because she’s a genuinely nice person, but then Alex not so subtly transitions from “I think I played a game my children could be proud of” (literally, that’s what he says), to “You HAVE to vote out Yau-Man or you won’t make it through the day” (this is obviously figurative). Either way he begins to sound persuasive when he plays the angle that Cassandra is next on the chopping block, then uses the same tactic with Dreamz, then he does the worst thing possible and fills in Earl. Earl seems to think it’s a joke, says to Cassandra about Alex, “Don’t try to lawyer me”. Stacy seems to be on board with whatever Cassandra decides. Wasn’t she all dismissive and indifferent towards her back on the original Moto? Yau has to play his idol before votes are read so it now seems entirely possible that Yau is voted out. As of now, we know who Yau, Earl and Alex are all voting for, the other four votes are swing, which is unusual.

At TC, Alex plays the morality card again, despite trying to ruse the entire team, essentially. Yau is unphased, saying he can trust them and will not need to play the idol. Alex is surprised how confident everyone is at council, meaning they are all either really trustworthy or their decision is made or both. Jeff asks all of them if they are concerned:
Alex: Yea
Cassandra: No
Dreamz: No
Earl: No
Yau: No
Stacy: No
We go to the vote, Alex and Yau vote for each other, Yau does not play his idol, they are read as such:
Alex
Yau-Man
Alex
Alex
Alex
Kind of really poor play by Dreamz, Cassandra, Boo, and Stacy. But at least loyalty still counts for something, that’s the silver lining. I guess. Clearly Alex made a decent case and they just weren’t going to be swayed.

In his parting words, Alex encourages “All the kids who feel like their situation is hopeless, to never stop dreaming, never stop fighting, you can and will amaze yourself”. Yikes. he clearly is an Ivy-Leaguer, way too optimistic to be anything but. Should I mention the fact that everyone voted for him despite all his hope and ferocity? Oh, I guess I just did.

Tonight, Now we want to take out Yau, He attempts to cut a deal at reward or immunity challenge, nothing much else indicated.

Upon seeing Anna Paquin in a trailer for a new HBO series in between Sunday’s The Sopranos and Entourage, it triggered a conversation with a friend about the merits of going from a film to a television career for an actor. Generally this is considered a step down in the entertainment industry, but I was trying to contest that for the actors making the leap to television have relatively successful film careers, but to become recognized by the mainstream it was imperative that they find another medium. My friend was arguing that their film careers were so dismal to begin with, that moving to television could hardly be considered a down grade. With all the people in hollywood trying to jump start acting careers, I had to suggest otherwise. There are literally thousands of actors that would sacrifice limbs to have the career that Jeremy Piven had pre-Ari Gold.

If one makes the leap the goal is to either attain critical or commercial praise. Ideally both, but that is rare. James Gandolfini has a history of playing muscle, so taking a lead role on a dramatic HBO series as a mob boss was probably a natural transition, and considering the network it is on, and the track record of those behind the scenes, Gandolfini would have been a little disillusioned if he turned down the Tony Soprano role because it was on television.

Kiefer Sutherland is another one who’s attained the fanfare of both critics and the masses. While it has come to my understanding that 24 has taken a nosedive this season, the series still tops the ratings and he has a closet full of hardware to prove the critical success of his performance and the show. I have stated many times before that 24 has never appealed to us hear at Grid Effect, too melodramatic and outlandish for how seriously the show takes itself, but we give credit where credit is due and recognize there ratings blitz.

Sarah Jessica Parker has probably made the biggest splash in going from the big to the small screen. Hollywood tends to be unfair to actresses (outside of a select few, it’s unfair to everyone involved, but is especially cruel to aging, non-botoxed, female screen talent). While she had made her bones in movies such as Honeymoon In Vegas, Ed Wood and LA Story; in 1998 she made what may have seemed like a gamble at the time and switched to television for Sex and the City. A series heralded as the vehicle for empowerment amongst the single women in their thirties crowd somehow appealed to the college demographic as well, and managed to ruin an entire generation of women (obviously, I’m kidding… Sort of). When we’re talking about something as trivial as scripted television, how many series’ can say that?

This (or you could argue Robert Wuhl in Arliss, though he didn’t have anywhere near the film career Parker had) seemed to trigger a movement in television. With recognizable actors (hey, it’s that guy!) realizing the film business is getting younger by the day opting for a career with more longevity. And for the most part, they all seem successful. One could argue that a series now needs that star power be competitive in the ratings war. Gary Sinise and David Caruso have both helped yield incendiary ratings for the CSI franchise. It goes without saying that the contributions from Gandolfini and Imperioli on The Sopranos have been considerable (Can you imagine anyone else in the Tony Soprano role?). Alec Baldwin has already won an emmy for his role on 30 Rock and Charlie Sheen is the lead on the number one sitcom on television.

The list is much longer than that but you get the point. Making the transition from film to television is not always a step down. In several cases, it has helped rejuvenate careers, catapulted ratings monsters and contributed significantly to legendary series’. For all the work Sutherland, Gandolfini and Parker have done in films, for better or worse they’ll be remembered as Jack Bauer, Tony Soprano and Carrie Bradshaw.

Here are some links to brighten up your day…

Lost is over… for now and will run through 2010. Great. You know, people say The Sopranos is just spinning its wheels and David Chase had/has no idea how to end his series (I vehemently disagree with this sentiment but its a popular one). I would have to say that for however many red herrings there are in The Sopranos, Lost has twice as many meaningless “plot developments” just for the sake of providing the illusion that they are going somewhere with the story. Can you imagine sitting in on a Lost writing session? (que internal monologue) Let’s see, let’s see… we need something unexpected, something original but implausible that we’ll explain later but people will be infatuated with it because of its implausibility… who the fuck am I kidding? We need a cheap exploitive ploy for ratings so we/I can all keep our jobs… (/internal monologue) “I got it! We put a polar bear on the island!”.

According to Cheryl Hines, Curb Your Enthusiasm has finished filming its sixth season. The bad news? It’s their last. Six seasons must be the tipping point for LD, that’s when he left Seinfeld as well.

We’re just full of great news here today, Rescue Me is slated to come back on June 12th. With a few surprise cameos and one returning cameo. So I guess that means Dennis Leary and Callie Thorne didn’t perish in that absurd fire that ended their third season. I, for one, am shocked.

The sets for Studio 60 are being torn down…If need be, I suppose I could burn them for you, Mr. Reilly.

And finally, one last positive note to close out the links: Kevin Reilly is considering stretching The Office to a full hour and moving it to 9pm. This is good for two reasons. One, more Office. Two, it doesn’t conflict with Survivor if they do indeed change time slots.

That’s it for an unusually upbeat links. More later today on some of the forthcoming seasons mentioned here.

This is one of those Entourage episodes that is satisfying on multiple levels, it’s funny, the drama is engaging, it features a healthy amount of Piven and Dillon and gave an insiders look at the petty and overly complicated world that is showbiz.

If this show has taught us anything, its that all complication stems from people’s massive egos. There was no real reason this film didn’t get put together, Amanda didn’t want to consider that Ari might be right about the deadline, the producer didn’t want to be interrupted even momentarily but wanted an agreement by sundown, no one wanted to negotiate Vince’s quote and Vince, ever the spoiled actor, refused to question his own judgment. It’s times like these when Eric stands out as the only sensible party, and most of that sensibility comes from his lack of industry knowledge; which I am glad the writers still touch on. Even though in this instance he was the most logical (just sign the deal, do whatever anyone wants you to do because this film has been a two season goal), he tends to be the most naive character on the show, even amongst his four friends.

Regardless of how ridiculous it transpired, I am glad to see the Gugino character gone. I haven’t exactly made it a secret I didn’t like her presence on the series, particularly since her and Vince agreed to have sex two episodes ago. It’s just been so horribly cliched and stereotypical, “wealthy, empowered female sleeps with her clients in an ill-advised attempt to keep things simple because they cannot concentrate or have a rational conversation as a result of her stunning beauty”.

Truth be told, all this could have been tolerable if we knew anything at all about Amanda. she wasn’t fleshed out in any significant detail. To this day, all we know about her past is she’s divorced. And I don’t think she was a comedic foil or anything, there wasn’t a single well-constructed joke with her in the shot. Was she strictly eye-candy? A male-fantasy character with nothing more than superficial qualities to offer the series? If that’s the case, there has been a plethora of other bit characters who have successfully filled that void, we didn’t need someone integral for it.

I guess we were led to believe that this wasn’t the first client Amanda had slept with, based on the whole “I hate sexual tension” conversation that concluded “Manic Monday“, either that or she’s never had a male client. Never the less, it was never made clear. And considering the direction they took with her, it should be explained whether or not this is her regular approach to half her clients, give or take. Also, are we really supposed to believe that any agent is going to simply walk away from a client as big as Vince? I suppose Ari did with the writer a few episodes back, but it was an isolated moment of morality that he seemingly regrets. If Vince is getting six million a picture now, that is $600,000 that goes into her pocket with the standard commission for hollywood agents. Something tells me she isn’t storming out of the restaurant like some scorned schoolgirl, despite her being justifiably pissed off.

I have always contended with this series that I only watch it for a few laughs or absurd plot lines that are rife with humor. Because when they try to amp up the dramatic overtones, there is just never that much at stake. If Vince doesn’t get this movie, he’ll get the next and all will be right with the world. But if they are going to force feed us some of these temporary characters, then at least do it for a reason. Amanda was the worst of the pack, even Dom only lasted for two episodes. If he had been around for five, with the assumption that we all knew he wasn’t long for the series, it would have been a bit distracting.

But as it is, this episode seemed to be the the climax of the Amanda’s presence on the series, and just in time for Yom Kippur. The deal got trashed not only because everyone’s inflated sense of self-importance got in the way, but there was two too many parties trying to force their hand. The thing that made this story great, was it illustrated Ari’s work-obsessed nature. Even his wife (Whom I thought was gentile but based on her demeanor this episode I am thinking otherwise) was taken aback with his persistence, but his charismatic nature makes him virtually impossible to dislike.

Most of the humor in this episode stemmed from this chasing the tale storyline. That is generally when the show is at its best, when their isn’t some contrivance setup for cheap laughs but rather the jokes are organic and are a result of the issue at hand. We did have Drama going all Lisa Simpson on us with the horse, but that was explainable: if someone has simplistic as Drama has a sentimental attachment to a aging racehorse and has the resources to save it, he will irrationally do so. Pawning it off on Ed Burns as a “gift” just made for an unexpected cameo.

Definitely the best episode this (half) season, and in contention for best episode of this (full) season with “One Day In The Valley” and “Vegas Baby, Vegas!”. With the focus back on Ari and his relationship with Vince as it pertains to the business, I’m optimistic it will stay that way.

First off, my apologies for the late post, usually I finish these by early evening Friday but it’s been an exceptionally bust two days with friends in town and whatnot. This gives you eight hours to read this recap before the new episode tonight, not huge window, but a reasonable one.

Plenty of mixed reviews about this episode. Many think the gambling addiction is rather abrupt (though I think it has always been there, now it’s just a slump), even more are disinterested in the Vito Jr. storyline and everyone feels like the plot was put on hiatus. Personally, I think Tony’s increased alienation is going to end up being his downfall. As of now, everyone in his family has reason to dislike him (except for Silvio, who seemed indifferent to his self-destruction this episode, almost encouraging) and with these guys, that is reason enough to see you gone. My only complaint was the close up on Vito Jr’s shower surprise, the noise effects were probably enough to get the message across. Anyhow, onto the recap…

We start with Tony, Chris, Sil, Bobby and Paulie playing Roulette, Tony wins an enormous bet, and promptly loses it by letting it ride. Does that ever work? Especially in a game like roulette. It looks like Tony has all his money on four numbers, how can letting this ride seem logical to anyone other than Charles Barkley?

Vito Jr. and one of his friends vandalize a cemetery before the cops chase them off. He’s the prototypical goth kid.

Marie goes to visit Tony about some financial assistance to move to Maine, where no one would be familiar with her family history. Vito has a social worker and he supposedly hung a neighbors cat, Tony says, “It’s to be expected with Vito passing and all that that entrails”. Hold on, Malapropisms are Little Carmines game. And, I understand little Vito is troubled, but hanging animals as a child is often seen as a precursor towards homicidal tendencies. Tony suggests talking to him, ala Jackie Junior. Marie just wants her money to get the hell out of the hellish cesspool that is the New Jersey mob syndicate.

In the back, Tony says, “Vito Jr. is a whack job.” Sil suggests getting the kid a dog. Recalling the incident with the cat, Tony replies, “I don’t think thats a good idea”. Tony is livid that the responsibility falls on him, and believes Phil lead the helm.

They hang out at the Bing watching a Bills-Jets game, the kid from Doogie Howser is with them, first appearance he has made all season and comments on The Bills penchant for pissing away games. They deliberate what will happen, Buffalo recovers their own fumble for a TD and results in another losing gamble, and Tony underplays the loss. All the while, some yahoo is cheering on The Bills back in the day he would have destroyed the guy (verbally and/or physically), now he just bitches to himself and others. This muted reaction is either a sign of maturity or aging, it’s open to interpretation. He goes in the back and tears the place apart.

At Phil’s inauguration so to speak, Nancy Sinatra sings in another David Lynch-esque scene. After the unsettling performance, Tony eyeballs Chris from afar as he discusses potential distribution, then claims to his entourage that he is ready to leave. Phil is talking with Nancy before Tony interrupts him to talk about Vito Jr. Phil cops a smug attitude with his newfound power, “A favor already?”. They discuss Vito Jr., Phil is unsympathetic, “I guess the turd doesn’t fall far from the faggots ass”, is that a prognostication of sorts? But, he hhimself not wanting to cough up $100 grand either, Phil says he will also talk to him.

Tony goes over to Hesh’s and they shoot the breeze about Phil, Tony’s crew, etc. Tony gives Hesh a cleaver hat, because thats all he does for people anymore, and Hesh says he was looking for something else, like, the $200,000 grand Tony borrowed from him last week. It’s going to be tough to cram that inside a coat pocket. Tony is somewhat perturbed and pretends like he forgot about it. Tony pays him a vig ($3,000) and Hesh is hesitant to accept it, after Tony takes a few pot shots at him, he eventually does.

Hesh goes upstairs and complains to his girlfriend, Renata, about Tony’s luxurious lifestyle and how he might not be able to pay him. he essentially hates Tony, judging by his tone.

In therapy, Tony discusses the tendency he believes Jews have for being tight with money. Melfi tries to deter him from this mode of thinking, but to no avail. They discuss his gambling, Tony says he has to act like it hurts more than it does in front of his underlings,and that it’s a major part of his life. She wonders what exactly he is chasing, money or a rush. Tony doesn’t seem to have an answer. Melfi chastises him for missing appointments and they discuss his reasons for coming to therapy, he refers to it as “an oasis of my week”. Which, isn’t therapy supposed to be somewhat mentally straining? She says there are protocols that must be followed, or she’ll have to discontinue his treatment.

Carmela is selling the house to cousin Brian and is fiance, so clearly it wasn’t the success they were expecting it to be.

Phil is having (or rather watching Vito Jr. eat a Silo) as he has his “talk” with him. Phil says he looks like a Puerto Rican whore, threatens to smack him, points out how embarrassing he is and that his family has had enough shame. Phil tells him to be more traditionally masculine, Vito looks unmoved. Well, that was productive.

The family has dinner out back and celebrate Carmela’s sale. They all congratulate her and it reminds me of the dream Tony has in season two, when everyone claps for Meadow’s college acceptance. Meadow points out Brian and his wife have a baby on the way, Blanca looks around and the camera falls on Carmela, Her motives are bizarre and unspecific in this episode. Well, in general I can’t understand them. But she seems to be contemplating a lot here, and I cannot fathom what. She might be hesitant to join the family, or turn out like Carmela, or maybe she’s concerned AJ cannot provide the lifestyle that Carmela enjoys. Like I said, confusing.

Carmela is paranoid about the lumber they used to build the roof with, she calls her father about the rain in the middle of the night.

Tony and others are eating lunch at Satriales while playing some cards.. Hesh pops in and Tony bombards him with antisemitic comments before throwing another 3 grand in a bag, claiming, “That should get me through another week, no?” Tony makes a joke about giving him his spare change and things get tense. To hopefully provide some levity, Hesh offers to gamble with the three grand.

Hesh has his blood pressure taken, he’s paranoid about Tony as he vocalizes to his son in law, Eli, the one that was attacked by Johnny Sack in season four (hence the cane). Hesh throws out his own stereotypes, then contemplates, “At what point is it cheaper for him to settle it another way?”

The guys hang out and play blackjack at the same casino. They walk through and see a bet for Meadow Gold that is supposedly promising. Sil encourages him. Bobby is noticeably docile and unenthused, Chris asks him about it and Bobby reassures him that he gives a shit. His demeanor is much more distant and unmerciful this episode, could have to do with being a murderer now. Tony just put 18 grand down on a harness race, which is like the sports gambling equivalent of slots. Tony loses the stack he won playing blackjack in slow motion, as he realizes the significance of the loss.

AJ and Blanca are having dinner, he proposes to her with a diamond ring in a dessert tray. He claims that in a couple years he’ll own a chain of nightclubs/restaurants and she agrees to marry him. Hesitantly.

Tony sits at Marie’s to talk with Vito Jr. Apparently he did something to a mentally challenged girl, which, amidst everything he’s done up until this point and everything he’ll do later, this is the most fucked up. Tony says he’s always been a good kid and the kid points out that he doesn’t really know him. He says they were friends and the kid asks, “Butt buddies?” Tony says that despite what Vito was, he know he misses him, but follows that up with, “There are some things I’m going to say..” and before he can finish the kid shouts out, “I’m not moving to fucking Maine!” Tony responds with, “you know how much that’s going to cost… your mother”. The kid dismisses his concerns, then Tony grabs his face and tells him to, “Cut this weird shit out”, to which the kid replies, “Someone should have told my father that”. Tony then drops the now infamous, “You go about and pity for yourself, what about your mother?” The kid asks what can he do about it, then Tony, much like Phil, tells him to take the role as man of the house and slowly gets up to leave.

Carmela comes in and announces how much money she made after Tony’s probing. He suggests she put some on the Jets after some tip she got from a strippers osteopath stripper that lives in San Diego, then he starts rambling and says he’ll just put some of his half on it. She gets all distant, as is her wont, apparently she thought all of the money she made was strictly for her. He concedes.

Hesh is reading and sees Tony and Bobby walking up to his house, prompting him to instruct Renata to run upstairs. Tony, despite his usually precept nature about these things, invites Hesh to some sort of boat show, he claims Renata has a migraine and that he cannot. He forces another $3,000 onto Hesh. Man, I would love to how those kinds of problems.

While riding with Bobby and Carlo, Tony bitches about Hesh. Bobby suggests Tony to tell Hesh to go fuck himself. Carlo tries to reference some Twilight Zone episode, in the middle of it, Tony tears him a brand new asshole for his piss poor job with construction, suggesting he try “sucking a cock” because Vito did considerably better with the detail than Carlo is.

Tony was actually right about the Jets, but didn’t win as much money as he could have because Carm wouldn’t invest in his “tip”, “We could have turned your bullshit into a million dollars”, is how he voices his displeasure. She takes offense and it triggers one of the uglier arguments these two have ever had. Tony says some particularly nasty things after Carmela, once again, expressed concern over ending up like Ginny Sack who had to move in with her daughter. He brings up the forty grand she stole from the bird feeder, as prick-ish as he’s being, he’s essentially right. He also reminds her that he strong-armed the building inspector, fronted all the money and comments on what an awful business woman she is and that her shoddy roof is going to cave in and murder her entire family. This prompts her to throw a large, ceramic decoration at him, which breaks on his forearm. As she runs upstairs hysterical, he screams, “When I’m gone you can live in a fucking dumpster for all I care”. Even through the divorce and their clearly tumultuous marriage, this is unequivocally the worst thing either of them have said to each other.

Vito Jr walks into the locker room shower at his school, some taller, more alpha-ish kids start mocking his suspected sexuality, he takes a shit standing up and steps in it, sending the entire locker room into panic mode. Umm, it’s not TV…

At dinner, TGony is with Chris, Bobby and Paulie, the latter of which is rambling on about some story, Tony hurries him up and asks about some power tools, they start talking about Vito Jr’s predicament who got thrown out of school. Tony explains, “but the little girl, Dad’s gone, brothers a psycho, mother’s a basket case, what did she ever do?”. He decides to help her out, and says despite being homosexual he was still apart of their “thing”. Paulie and Chris look less than pleased, Chris says its a good thing he’s helping them, Paulie replies, “I’ll always remember it” with a hostile tone.

AJ is driving Hector to the Puerto Rican day parade with his car draped in flags. He pulls up and Blanca is in a corvette with her brother, Jesus. She mumbles about why she can’t marry him, all of it is bullshit. He looks like he’s either going to hit her or have a panic attack.

Tony and Sil talk about the kicker for Miami going out to an injury on a motorcycle (so topical), Tony decides that since the backup kicker for Miami is straight out of college, he’s going to put the 100k he promised to Marie down on Philly, Sil once again encourages it and Chris looks concerned but says nothing.

Cut to Tony sitting in a car, listening to Miami pull out the win against Philly, he immediately calls Marie and decides he’s going to pay $18 grand from Vito Jr. to go to some military camp in Idaho where they are given free reign to physically abuse the kids. He says something along the lines of, “There’s no geographical solution to an emotional problem”, reminds me of Chris’ advice to TJ Dolan in season five.

Him and the nurse maid from the first half of this go meet Carlo and some unknown cohort of his about something. Tony gets back in the car, and drives through a Muslim neighborhood where he sees the two Arabs from earlier this season walking around with several other middle easterners in native garb.

Several men in flannel shirts bust into Vito. Jr’s room in the middle of the night to drag him off to the other side of the country, leaving his mother and sister in tears.

Tony has lost yet another bet, apparently he bet against The Mavericks at home. They were playing the Spurs but even I can tell you that is a horrendous idea, fucking idiot. There is no outburst this time, just a heavy sigh, almost like he is numb to the effects of losing. Carmela walks into the bedroom and Tony explains his betting woes. He also apologizes for explaining how worthless he believes her to be. She begins to go into hysterics, and he explains that since he survived a gut shot, he’s up. “Way up.” Gambling addicts are great at convincing themselves they are winning.

Hesh walks out of the bathroom to find Renata lying there with one of those blindfold sleeping thingys. He kisses her on the lips and I guess she felt lifeless, because he immediately dials 911.

Hesh is sitting in his living room, downtrodden, when Tony walks in with the same shopping bag he was emptying money out of earlier. Kisses Hesh, says she was a great girl, and routinely states he is sorry for his loss, then leaves. Cold.

I enjoyed this episode immensely. It isolated Tony even further and paralleled his individual problems to those of a troubled thirteen year-old goth kid. His entire world is spinning out of control and it’s all self-inflicted, through his greed and nihilism. I have an entire post expressing how I think Tony is unlikely to die by the series finale, this episode has me thinking otherwise.

Definitely on par with last week’s episode, maybe even a slight improvement, depending on your sensibilities. The episodes where they venture outside the office are really either hit or miss and I would classify last night’s venture as a success.

Where to begin? First off, there was just enough Pam-Jim stuff to suffice the romantic interlude crowd, but not enough to nauseate the rest of us as we pray to God that this character driven comedy doesn’t turn into Friends or Will and Grace (I feel like it’s only a matter of time, look at the general source of conversation at the TWoP message boards). Even I enjoyed some of the subtle reminders that those two crazy kids are still into each other (Jim admiring Pam’s composite sketch, Pam eavesdropping on Phyllis and Karen’s conversation about lingerie Jim might find appealing).

This was definitely an opportunity to pity instead of hate Michael. Mainly because of his relationship with his boss and his inability to realize that he wants to break up with her because of her sexual experimentation (a euphemism for complete denigration of Michael); which actually brought him to tears while in the company of his female employees. Outside of maybe the first ten minutes or so (when he was mimmicking Phyllis’ flasher), the majority of the episode was a reflection of the dismal understanding he has for his relationship with Jan. At least the mall field trip actually gave Michael some closure and he broke it off with her. Never the less, he still couldn’t change a tire, or even pretend like he could (reminded me of the Curb episode “Thor”, in which a wrestler slashed Larry’s tire).

The entire women’s restroom thing was a little bizarre. Is this common practice for women’s restroom’s at work to have a better interior design than the rest of the building? And Creed has always been a character, somewhat defiant of the mainstream, so to speak. but this week he was conveying actual criminal behavior. Is he eventually going to admit to killing someone? Because at this point, that seems like the only logical trajectory for the character.

Also revealed in the womens restroom amongst all the regular guys, Ryan made a move for Karen in an email, read it to Jim, then claimed she wasn’t ready for an office relationship. Which he bought to avoid being flat-out rejected, then claimed to be unprepared for such a relationship himself. Despite currently dating Kelly, whom is completely clueless (and always has been) towards Ryan’s indifference to her. I enjoyed that storyline, they managed to convey all of this in about fifteen seconds.

The only thing that seemed a little far-fetched? It going unnoticed to Dwight that Pam drew his face and added a mustache for the picture of the Scranton flasher. I would like to think had a similar prank been played on me, or really anyone for that matter, the person would be able to recognize him/herself. His realization post-credits was hilarious, though. Also, I’m pretty sure I enjoyed Andy more as the pompous, arrogant shit head he was before anger management. How long before the next outburst. This has “Serenity Now” written all over it.

Some noteworthy lines/moments:

Jim Halpert is demerited from Dwight, he asks what it is or what it means, it essentially escalates to the point where its the private sectors equivalent to having insubordinant behavior being placed on your “permanent record”. In other words it’s worthless.

“Phyllis, Your a married woman”. -Angela, blaming Phyllis for being flashed.

“Did he even see Pam, or even Karen… from behind?” -Michael, underplaying the importance of Phyllis being flashed.

“Better 1,000 innocent men are locked up than one guilty man roam free.” -Dwight, bound and determined to catch the perpetrator.

A very basic overview of the tone to Michael’s relationship: their safe word is foliage, and Janet pretends to not hear him from time to time. Janet offers Michael $200 to visit her because she “misses his body”, then offers him $300, then says she just needs to know whether or not he’s driving to New York so she can tell her assistant to get more vodka.

“You know what, why doesn’t Oscar run the meeting? he’s a homosexual.” -Dwight, somehow making a conncetion between homosexuality and flashing.

“When Meredith flashed me at that Christmas party, I nearly vomited” -Michael, regaling a season two episode.

“Are we still talking about this, I’ll ask it again what is the big deal?” -Creed, scaring everybody.

“TV portrays women as tall, skinny goddesses. And are they like that? No, look around, no they are not.” -Michael, inadvertantly insulting every female employee he has.

Angela: Whenever we complain you ask us if we’re on our periods.
Michael: I have to know whether you’re serious or not.

Meredith enjoys potato chips, is disconcerned with the environment and cannot park her van.

“You’re a preppy freak, the office pariah and nobody likes you.” -Dwight, explaining to Andy why Andy is so appreciative of Dwight’s tutiliag

“A woman looks best when she is absolutely naked” -Michael explaining why he doesn’t like lingerie.

‘What are you doing in here? this is the woman’s restroom.” -Creed, protesting all the men hanging out in the women’s restroom, something he uses for his excremental relief. Again, damn weird.

“I wish for Jan to get over me, I wished for Pam to gain courage, I wished for Phyllis a plasma TV, I wished for Angela a heart and for Kelly a brain.” -Michael

As you can see, it was a quote heavy episode. Hopefully the finale can measure up and stear clear of an abundance girlfriend/boyfriend conundrums, much like these past two episodes.

Pre-credits scene, we are walking back from what’s being labeled the Best. Tribal. Council. Ever. Everyone is whispering like they’re trying to coerce someone into sex. It must have been a really rewarding Tribal Council for all of those involved. Mookie and Alex however, are livid, and are abut to engage in some angry hate sex. Seemingly everyone else is elated except Dreamz, who was concerned that yet another alliance was slow in informing him, and he is way to hesitant for any coitus. But Stacy, Earl and everyone else sold him a load of bullshit and he bought it. Naturally Stacy has to reming us why no one liked her in the first place when she says of Mookie and Alex, “They’ll be lucky if they get fed”. Trust me, Stacy, no one has releied on you for anything since they got here. No one. And literally, if she somehow ends up winning this thing, I will be done with this show.

The following day. At this point Alex and Mookie are really feeling defeated and are just waiting to get booted. Dreamz is trying to claim he was loyal to them, they want to believe it due to their dismal numbers, but they cannot let themselves. Apparently he’s trying to make nice simply for the slim chance he has at final two, and the repair work is for increasing the odds he might have at their votes.

At RC, they are split into two teams. One teammate is slinging these makeshift balls into a muddy marsh where the rest of his/her teammates and opponents are standing with giant cones, attempting to catch the flying makeshift balls. They are split into two teams, Mookie is firing for one team, Stacy for another. Both teams miss. Boo scores for orange then Mookie steals from the green, giving them a 2-0 lead. Stacy hits Dreamz and his team is down 2-1. Mookie goes down on one shot mixing it up with Alex, he groans a lot and explains to Probst, “I think my ACL is broken”. I know he’s under durress, but first of all, you tear your ACL, second of all, he couldn’t roll around like that if he did. He gets up, flexs his knee and it makes this horrific pop, and they continue. Obviously Mookie used to play soccer. Anyhow, they are now tied 4-4, Stacy hits Dreamz to win it for the green team, which also includes Earl and Alex. They send Boo to exile because he’s been on Moto the entire time and they go straight to reward douched in mud.

At reward, Alex is predictably going to attempt to get back in the alliance. I have to tell you, I couldn’t be subserviant towards someone like Stacy. They shower and she tries washing the acne off her face but to no avail, then get dinner in these brightly colored robes. Stacy is bitching about Alex’s awkwardness and being typically overly judgmental. Alex asks Earl what the pecking order is and tries to claim Mookie wants to go home, which is nonsense. Earl throws it right back at him and says precisely for that reason he might stay.

Back at the island, Mookie is perseverant. He now believes Yau-Man must have the idol because he is always at camp, him and Alex decide to go search his bag and sure enough they find the thing. They start contemplating how they can use this somewhat inconsequential knowledge to agitate everyone. Apparently it’s against the rules to steal it, which I’m opposed to. If you’re clever enough to attain the thing then you should be clever enough to be forced into concealing it.

Cassandra and Stacy are accidentally eavesdropping while toasting to being the only two remaining women. As ridiculous as the toast is, it’s not nearly conniving enough to fault them for it. I mean, it’s not anywhere near as conniving as looking through Yau-Man’s bag. Before the revelation that two people were standing directly behind them, Mookie describes this ruse as, “Two great brains working together”. They start fantasizing about what an explosive Tribal Council it is going to be…until they discover the two women right behind them, then continue to talk like they’re not still there. I kind of like seeing them go out like this, it’s petty and immoral, but what the hell? They’re never going to see any of these people again and maybe it can break up the predictable monotony this episode is going to be. It’s a damn shame to, I would have loved to have seen that TC.

(Wood Harris (Avon Barksdale) is in an upcoming episode of Numbers…It’s still not enough of a reason for me to watch a cop drama on CBS.)

Apparently Stacy and Cassandra couldn’t hear them specifically which seems implausible, Mookie and Alex go running to find Yau-Man and give him the option of either telling everyone on the tribe about his idol, or letting them do it for him. Yau is fairly level-headed about it, realizing its a desperate move for two players grasping at straws he more or less says, “Do what you have to do” and is quick to point out that it isn’t immediately necessary he uses it.

He tells Stacy, Cassandra and Earl and they all agree that Yau’s interpretation of the story is that they threatened him. Apparently the term “threatened” is being thrown around a lot these days. It is kind of relative to the context of the game, it’s not like they were going to beat him senseless if he didn’t do what they said. Dreamz seems to take it personally, and ironically he’s one of the people Yau is most concerned with. He sees a potential outcome where Dreamz and Boo migrate over towards Mookie and Alex, ressurecting the “four horsemen” and making it a 4-4 split. Everyone continues to overreact like Alex and Mookie gangbanged his wife or something, it really isn’t that big of a deal. In fact I think they should have been allowed to outright steal the thing to make it interesting. Carelessly leaving your bag lying around like that with the idol in it should have possible reprecussions.

At IC, they are plaing some weird game where they selct three squares on a grid that are consecutive, then attempt to knock out the squares on everyones grid. The idea is to be the last one standing, like an elaborate form of battleship.. It’s to complicated and I’m not getting paid enough to detail this, so this is going to be fairly vague and unless you watched the episode it’s going to come off as incomplete.

Several people call out numbers and hit targets that they do not know who they correspond with. The first two people hit themselves, and it’s impossible to know you’re potentially doing so until you get a general idea of where you’re three boxes are. Earl is first to go, then Stacy knocks out Dreamz and Boo with one shot. This challenge is embarrassingly simple-minded, not because Stacy is having success at it (well partly as a result of that), but because it rests so heavily on blind fucking luck. Cassandra goes out, then Mookie is the fourth eliminated. Alex and Yau both have one square left and Stacy has two, her next turn she hits a coordinate that has all three of them but since she has two squares to their one, she wins immunity at the challenge that requires no strength, strategy, communication, intellect or agility. Congrats, Stacy!

Alex keeps claiming he isn’t going down quietly and that he has every intention to go out, guns blazing. He claims his skill set as a lawyer will help him in this endeavor. Why do all lawyers deem themselves wordsmiths? I have yet to meet a lawyer that impressed me with anything other than overt knowledge of some obscure court case from the 80’s.

Earl and Dreamz have a telling discussion about how integral luck is with the challenges, to the point where he states, “Fucking Stacy won today and she’s incapable of doing anything.” Maybe that’s an embellishment but that’s the implied meaning. For whatever reason, Boo is paranoid that either Mookie or Alex have the idol so they are going to divide up their votes 3-3 and force out the mythical idol that no one has and still send the other contestant home Brilliant. I like all this scheming to oust two people with eight remaining. Apparantly solidifying a spot in the top six is the goal now.

Mookie and Alex are claiming persecution like everyone who ends up at the bottom of the totem pool. Jeff calls the two of them out for rummaging threw Yau-Man’s things, especially since they implied that all they’re opressors are either snakes or rats (Personally, I’d rather be a snake). Alex implies with a lot of hyperbole how none of the alliance members can trust each other after the two of them are outed. And it is an absurdly large alliance.

The votes go as such:
Alex
Alex
Mookie
Boo
Mookie
Mookie
Alex
Mookie

Quick question, since Alex voted for Mookie ensuring his stay this is all moot. But if Alex had followed Mookie’s lead and voted for Boo, and the votes cast towards Alex and Mookie had been equal with neither of them having the immunity idol, causing a stalemate, does that mean Boo goes home? It wouldn’t make any sense but still, it wouldn’t surprise me.

In his parting words, usually people are a little more surprised about how things went, Mookie says he is appreciative and is kind of relieved, but a part of him wishes to still be back in the game. Nothing even remotely interesting or memorable.

Tonight, Alex tries to be neither seen nor heard, and the Arrested Development reference there is entirely too easy. Boo annoys everyone with his chatter, which seems out of character and there is a challenge that involves eating food dangling from a ceiling with both hands tied behind their backs. Classy.

Now that’s the brand of The Office I like to see. No continuity, no relationship dramatics, just character based humor and an absurd situation Michael over-compensates for in a plot that will have no lasting effects (set aside a couple potential references here and there) Did anyone really miss any of the Jim/Pam/Karen/Roy lovers quarrels?

If you work in an office similar to the one portrayed on the television show, you realize how impractical it is to move the entire staff into one department. Especially a department as unique as QA or customer service. Because some individuals lake the decorum to handle B2C relations (ala Angela), or some are disinterested and more concerned with their own reputation (ala Creed). QA is something only for the exceptionally jovial, extroverted folk (ala Kelly). I had a three year stint in customer service during college and it was a painstaking haul to work every Monday-Wednesday-Friday.

The highlight of the episode was Jim and Andy’s trip to Jim’s former high school to reassure them that the watermark in question was a one-time incident. If for nothing else, we see Andy’s girlfriend is a high school student, and despite helping her and her friends tip over a mailbox her approximate age was still unbeknownst to him. If there’s anything we know about the Scranton office, with the exception of Jim and Pam everyone is either bitter and/or incompetent (and in one case duplicitous: Creed); which probably explains why such a huge faction of the series’ audience is desperate to see them date.

Actually, forget what I just said, the highlight of the episode were the pre-opening credits and post-closing credits where Jim and Dwight impersonate each other. Jim’s was predictably, more accurate and clearly practiced. Dwight’s was possibly practiced if more of a parody than an imitation, but when he first walks into the office and begins talking to Pam, he throws a distinct look to the camera that mocked Jim’s constant pandering.

And of course, Steve Carrell was fantastic in this episode. At this point stunts like this are almost typical, but his knee-jerk reaction to hold a press conference, and when I say press conference I mean Dwight and some guy from a paper called The Scranton Times which may or may not exist, was comic genius. Especially considering how unreasonable the woman was being and Michael’s temperament after trying to compromise (I wouldn’t say unreasonable if the school’s reaction wasn’t so rational in comparison).

Some choice lines/noteworthy moments:

“Aren’t you taking this a little too… literally?” -Michael to Dwight, after Dwight pointed out that a SWAT team could, in fact, remove him from his position.

Michael: I’ll give this check to someone who’ll appreciate it.
Dwight: The check is non-tranferrable.
-Dwight, once again unintentionally undercutting Michael as he tells off the customer he tried to make amends with. (Also, the check was for six months of free paper or twenty-five free reams, as someone who worked in paper sales for three weeks, if memory serves, twenty five reams is like two boxes, considering that was their largest customer, 25 reams probably lasts a few days).

“I am the escape-goat.” -Michael’s malopropism in protest of his firing that no one is calling for.

Andy: Who was that guy she was talking to?…in the letter jacket?
Jim: I’m guessing it was another high school student.
-The two discussing Andy’s underage girlfriend.

“In our defense, it looked like the sex was consensual.” -Dwight, in reference to the explicit watermark.

Top customer: I’m calling the better business bureau.
Michael: Well I’m calling the ungrateful biotch bureau.
-Michael taking out his frustrations on his biggest customer.

-Creed gets some unknown (to him and to us) woman fired for something he was responsible for, then takes up a collection card on her behalf, only to ditch the card and pocket the collection. Ruthless.

In short, any episode where Creed is on screen for more than five minutes I am going to enjoy, hopefully the concluding episodes of this season match this caliber and we are privy to more office hijinks and less romantic comedy.

Just a quick note before we get to the links, the most recent Office episode was replayed in Columbus at 2am the same night cancelled the series to bombard us with weather updates. I missed this little nugget of information and failed to record it. A friend of mine, however, was in on the ruse and still has it recorded. So expect a full recap tomorrow. Onto the links…

Mark Burnett got married, surprising that it wasn’t televised.

A Sex In the City feud. Much like the characters on the show, the people behind it are overtly petty and vindictive. The series has been over for three years now, kids. I think it’s time we all just moved on.

Apparently, there is an Entourage fashion line, inspired by the series. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t they already wear what constitutes in style? My point being, aren’t they just wearing designer labels half the time? So the brand is admittedly a large knock off of several other brands. My disdain for this show is growing exponentially.

It must be nice for Heather Mills to know that her divorce settlement will get her out of having to appear on shows like this, which tend to cater to the lowest common denominator. I mean, you have to be a really vile individual when you’re voted off a dancing competition show prematurely and you only have one foot. If she can’t even extract sympathy from the American public under those circumstances, she really might be better off in England.

“Chasing It” was Gandolfini’s Emmy episode. He’s probably tired of receiving these things, but I would award him with best actor without hesitation. His range of emotions on Sunday went from rationale, to frustrated, to anxious, to homicidal with a level of realism that you only get from The Sopranos

It’s a great day for the misguided wannabe arthouse crowd, Studio 60 is coming back. So for all of you who feel like you are smarter than everyone else when actually you’re giving into sensationalized one-sided politics and deeming it “irreverant” or “meaningful” or “controversial”, it is indeed, a great day.

Hold on a second…this can’t be right, can it? MTV has hired an actual comedian to host their movie awards. Clearly someone with a brain has hacked into the network because I am certain Sarah Michelle Gellar is available this year.

And finally, Alan Sepinwall has asked why can’t Grey’s Anatomy fall out of love with itself? Pssh, that’s like asking American Idol to drop the singing. Actually, that might be a bad example, but you get my point.