Grid Effect

Now that was some shitty basketball, my friends. All the casual NCAA tournament fans are surely happy with the results, but other than them, the games were insufferably boring and the outcomes too disappointing for too much jubilation. Four one seeds are going to San Antonio? Surely it’s what some people want to see, and historically when a lower seed makes the final four the games themselves turn out to be a disappointment; but I could really give a fuck which of these teams wins a national title.

Also, I know this is a television and not a sports blog but I’d like to point out that while Bill Self finally reached the final four, he and his Jayhawks weren’t called upon to beat a team ranked higher than a nine seed to do so. They won the games that they were asked to win and you can’t knock them for variables out of their hands, but they might want to give a shout out to the selection committee as well.

Anyhow, we have absolutely nothing of interest to write about. The best we can do is a list of random thoughts and observations from the weekend. Here it is:

-There hasn’t been any CBS promotions quite as obnoxious or sleepless night inducing as the infamously creepy Baby Bob campaign from 2002. But shows as mundane and repetitive as How I met Your Mother or CSI bring their own brand of irritability to the table. Mainly, how far the sitcom has fallen that HIMYM is considered “good”, and David Caruso probably makes close to a million an episode for a replica series of a replicated franchise.

Alright CBS, you win. We admit it, this shit still haunts our dreams.

-Here’s a slide show of former Real World cast members and, you’re not going to believe this, but as people age, they tend to gain weight and lose their complexion. This holds true even for reality TV stars. See? They are just like us.

-Speaking of The Real World, doesn’t it feel like more of these people should end up in prison. Not necessarily the house mates from the earlier seasons, but take this most recent season in Sydney. The fact that none of those catty white bitches or their abrasive male roommate will ever be incarcerated just wreaks of injustice. These people make the contestants on Beauty and The Geek look well-adjusted.

-I really, really want Gus Johnson to read my eulogy. Even if I spend all my days sitting in my office, then retiring for the night to sit in front of my television, if he can make some of these games over the weekend watchable then certainly he could turn my life into a Hollywood movie.

-Weighing out the options for each season, we think summer has favorable viewing over the fall. This summer we have Mad Men, It’s Always Sunny, Weeds, Conchords, Entourage (meh) and usually Rescue Me but we seem to recall it being pushed back a full year as a result of the writer’s strike. In the fall, and we are listing these as if the writer’s strike never took place, we are privileged to The Office, Survivor, Curb, South Park and The Wire just ended.

We have no idea what new series’ will be unveiled next October, but as it stands currently, our favorite comedy (It’s Always Sunny) and our favorite drama (Mad Men) air during what is widely considered the “off season” for television. I think it’s safe to say, we clearly shouldn’t be writing a television blog.

Back with links or something tomorrow.

Basketball consumed all of our time and interest last night. Unless you find our trip to the gym and subsequent shower nudged between work and tourney watching to be riveting prose, I’m afraid we have nothing really worth contributing from our personal lives. So, we had to go hunting. Ladies and gentlemen, here is approximately your forty-third batch of links from this website in the short calendar year.

So, Prison Break is now beheading characters during contract disputes, then finding loopholes to return the character once the actor’s negotiations are completed. Man, that is an entirely plateau of leverage. Can you imagine if this were physically possible, how many series producers would take this route with contract renewals, “Well Rainn Wilson, don’t get us wrong, we would like to have you back. We really would. But right now Dwight Schrute’s head is rolling past the Chili’s and is about to exit Scranton if you fail to except this offer. So (leans in dramatically), what will it be?”
Anyhow, the narrative of the series will be that it was someone else’s head that was liberated from his/her body (gasp). Brilliant. I think its been made abundantly clear, but I can’t form into words how much I despise this show. They’re now stealing from middle-tier South Park episodes.

There’s only one way for the Schrute Buck to increase in value.

Lord help us, there is talks of a Hills movie. For those who don’t know, The Hills is a reality series following the grand tradition of MTV shows that celebrates vapid, entitled late teens to mid-twenties girls. My question is, what would the time frame be on a movie like this? I know it’s probably predominately scripted in the first place, but if it takes the better part of a year to fill 100 minutes of screentime, then maybe MTV could find better personalities to make television and (apparently) movies about. There are enough stints of dead silence on one of these episodes that I would feel like I was watching an Antonioni film if it wasn’t for the noticeable overtones of idiocy implicit in every one of them.

Kyle Chandler has joined the echo chamber, and is confident in FNL’s return. We wonder how he’ll take to the new management style.

Hal Holbrook, reprising his role from The Sopranos (not really), will yet again play a terminally ill patient. But this time it will be on ER and probably played a little more melodramatically as well.

Speaking of The Sopranos, David Chase was honored by the WGA with a lifetime achievement award. I guess they felt he needed at least one more honoring, just for good measure. All the while David Simon sits at home with an empty mantle. This could explain Simon’s newspaper plot in his final Wire season, maybe this is all just sour grapes that regardless of his substantial contributions to whatever field he is in, he is always overlooked. I’m kidding, of course. But it would be quite ironic if some sort of tape leaked with him lamenting the lack of an Emmy nomination.

Speaking of Mr. Simon, here’s a trailer for his HBO miniseries slated for July. We were going to watch anyways, but with Tobias Beecher and Ziggy Sobotka carrying much of the acting burden, we’ll gladly do David Simon’s bidding and hammer it down your throats.

Tina Fey wants everyone whose ever been on television or in a tabloid to make a cameo on 30 Rock. Have you been on your local affiliate catching a foul ball at a minor league baseball game or at a cookout performing the heimlich on a relative? Then give Ms. Fey a call, she can probably find time to squeeze you into an episode.

That’s it for a dreadful week in episodic television. We’re going to be honest, we probably won’t be setting the world on fire next week either.

Umm, I think it’s about time to assume that South Park is running out of ideas. I am always hesitant to say that, because it seems like whenever I do, they smack me in the face with something laugh out loud hysterical, and I have to retract what I had said a week beforehand. But three episodes into the twelfth season and the themes have been: AIDS via tonsil surgery and injection, the tabloids and public driving Britney Spears to attempt suicide and leaving her headless, and last night with cats spraying urine into people’s faces for a euphoric buzz.

I hate when I criticize this or The Office because as of now they are probably the two most consistent comedies on television, so when they hit a speed bump here and there it feels tedious to go about harping on it. But honestly, what was I suppose to do with that episode last night? Any episode that focuses on Kenny always feels tired because half the humor in it comes from him mumbling behind his jacket. They have been doing this for comedic effect since literally the first episode.

This isn’t to say that the entire episode was for naught. Gerald Broflovski’s “cheesing” setup with the harness and the projector had me in stitches, as did the Anne Frank parody (mostly because it came from Cartman), Gerald and Kenny’s fight in the sandbox and the generic 80’s rock music during the hallucinations. But every episode of South Park is good for at least a couple laughs. But everything else about this episode fell flat for us.

If you haven’t seen the movie, this sums it up nicely.

Namely the hallucination sequences. They were an homage of sorts to the movie Heavy Metal, If you haven’t seen it, it’s like the intergalactic Grindhouse for animation or something. But even if you are familiar with the references it doesn’t count for much of an improvement, “Look, everything is shaped liked breasts, HAHA!” It reminded us of the Al Gore “ManBearPig” episode from season ten. That entire episode was hilarious, except for one gag in which all the rocks in the cave are shaped like male genitals. It just distracted from the rest of the story and felt poorly timed.

We’re optimistic about a rebound, but these have been three subpar episodes in a row now. Every season has had dry spells and clunker episodes, and while its not officially a slump because the episodes aren’t completely irredeemable, it is certainly starting to feel like the beginning of the end. Every comedy series eventually hits a wall, even after eleven successful years for them to now be hitting it, still feels too soon.

Back tomorrow with links or something.

With nothing worthwhile on television last night and still being a little under the weather, we succumbed to something we never thought we would ever succumb too. Now, I have to throw a bunch of qualifiers into the mix before I announce what we watched last night: not only was I feeling sick but I am being heavily medicated, there was no NBA on and we didn’t have any netflix. Now without the option of a viable alternative, we did something we never thought we were capable of: we watched Beauty and The Geek.

But that isn’t the humiliating part of the story, that comes in the fact that we actually kind of enjoyed it (currently we are drinking Jameson at work we are so depressed by this, it’s a good thing we’re unarmed, otherwise there would be no telling what we’re capable of). It did seem to conjure up some bad memories for the geek faction of the contest, in fact we were downright mortified for them during the challenge portion of the episode.

First of all, a little exposition for those who are unfamiliar. Beauty and The Geek, at least this season, took approximately ten classically attractive women and ten socially challenged guys and pitted them against each other in various forms of competition. Whichever team loses in whatever that week’s contest is, are subject to elimination by the other team, who nominate approximately half of the losing team for an elimination round. Supposedly just being in the limited confines of a mansion in Los Angeles is supposed to create a bond between the beauties and the geeks? We’re really not sure.

Your teams, respectively.

Anyhow, the challenge this week was a football game at the Coliseum between the geeks and the beauties. Yes, a football game. Just what the team of geeks needs, a reinforcement of why they are there in the first place by pinpointing a significant reason why these geeks are often considered geeks: under-achievement in competitive sports. It’s bad enough they were forced to play football against their will, but then against a team of physically fit girls, also reinforcing part of the reason they might have trouble attaining such women in the first place. At least if the played the actual USC football team no one would blame them if they got hammered.

The game itself was almost painful to watch. One guy actually had to be assisted off the field by the medical staff after one of the girls tackled him, then another was bitched at by one of the more aggressive beauties for blocking too hard. It really struck me as a lose-lose for them, but since one beauty and one geek risked elimination by switching teams, they were forced to try and win for their new teammate brave enough to switch alliances. And the geeks lost in convincing fashion: 24-12.

The format only got worse from there. As they lined up to decide which geeks the beauties were going to send to the elimination round, we discovered that they were now going to divy up the contestants in pairs consisting (obviously) of one beauty and one geek, but since there were only seven beauties and eight geeks because the beauty who joined the geeks football team was eliminated via losing the game, one of the geeks wasn’t going to be picked and thus sent packing.

The decision to go all Sadie Hawkins on them seemed exceptionally cruel. All these guys’ insecurities probably stem from adolescent/high school experiences similar to this one, they might as well have tied them to a flagpole and gotten it over with. Still, there are redeeming qualities to the show. We’re not sure if the series is always so cold, but we’re also wondering if the people are always so decent, as that’s not usually par for the course with reality programming.

For the most part, it seemed like basic human decency takes hold on this series. There wasn’t any mocking of stupidity of the women or of the shortcomings of the men, everyone was just….accepting. Which is something foreign on any reality show we’ve ever seen. While the humanity of it was provided by the contestants (one girl even waited outside for the geek injured during the football game to come home from the hospital), the producers seemed intent on begrudging all of them for their flaws. Somehow this was circumvented by everyone being exploited.

We probably won’t make this appointment viewing, because we struggle to do that with any reality TV, even Survivor, which we’ve been recapping since our inception. But the series did have heart, a vaguely original premise and managed to be humorous at times, usually not at the expense of those participating. If this were the standard for reality television, we might not mock it so mercilessly.

South Park recap tomorrow.

Some links for the day. This might be a recurring theme this week with just about all decent television taking the week off so as not to interfere with the magnificent beast that is the NCAA tournament. And by “all decent television” I mean Survivor. South Park should still be on Wednesday.

Apparently there was a series called The Return of Jezebel James on FOX at some point, and apparently they have also canceled this series. That’s a shame, you know? It would have been great if it was on air long enough for me to actually know it existed. Given how television works nowadays, this was probably the next Mash or something because great shows seldom generate an audience anymore.

Jezebel James starred these two…I’m already a fan.

Ryan Seacrest wants to “rule television”, this is eerily similar to LeBron James’ aspirations to be a “”Global Icon”. Listen guys, you’re a TV host and a basketball player, there is only so much either of you can do from the line of work you have chosen. Disney rules television, Seacrest, alright? You’re just a fucking patsy. And LeBron? There are no more global icons, because everybody hates everyone else. Don’t make me go all Arthur Jensen on a fucking television blog.

Prison Break’s fourth season is ready to shoot. That is going to be a helluva payoff when they finally make their escape. Unless it’s like Life and the series is a collection of multiple failed attempts.

Christopher J. Clanton, better known as Savino to Wire fans, was stabbed coming out of a Baltimore night club. Here’s wishing him well in his recovery and acting career, which probably won’t take off anytime soon since the only outlet for black actors now that The Wire is off the air is McDonald’s commercials.

If you fancy yourself a fan of Daily Show alumnus’, here’s Colbert and Carell on The Dana Carvey Show.

And finally, you know what is a good barometer for fame and power in this country? When your dog dying makes the news. If you had a pet at some point during your tenure as a celebrity and it passed without making any headlines, then you should be officially barred from The Oscars.

Back with more of the same tomorrow, I imagine.

Alright, I have included in a plethora of links posts that Friday Night Lights has signed a deal to renew a third season. This has been going on for about a month now, and it appears a deal has yet to be signed onto. If there were any more hype surrounding this we’d have to change the name of the series from Friday Night Lights to just simply, “Reggie Bush”.

The deal is supposed to be considerably innovative, in which NBC and Direct TV split the cost of the show’s massive budget and both have rights to air on their respective networks. While this is still the deal that is currently being negotiated and one that everybody is “incredibly optimistic” about, we have our concerns.

For one, this is similar rhetoric to what we heard when Arrested Development was going off the air and shopping their series around. They even referenced their search for a new distributor during one of the final four episodes (”Home Building Organization? Nah, HBO doesn’t acquire unoriginal companies” “Well then it’s Showtime! We have to put on a show for the contractors”). Then as a deal was looming, Mitchell Hurwitz went and put the kibosh on it. Talk about an AD film has been resurrected by the cast, but I don’t think Hurwitz has even commented on it.

Deja vu man, deja vu.

Seeing as how the FNL franchise has already released a film with different characters, actors and storyline (that resembled the book much more than the series), it would be a tad absurd to release two films from the same story with the same title. So that is not really an outlet. But we could see Katims and Berg bailing on this series for favor of an alternative project, or if they reject the notion of being put upon by two ratings obsessed corporations as opposed to the usual one (I shouldn’t be too critical of NBC, they were patient with the series but no one watched it for a myriad of reasons). Of course, they closed well and that is the only reason we care if it returns or not.

But assuming the series does indeed return, if you thought the majority of season two was a little too influenced by NBC (which a significant percentage of the fans seemed too), then wait until the writers and producers have two networks breathing down their necks. All I’m saying is in case we do see a return, it might not look like the same series.

Shady Messenger From Direct TV: Jason, we’re going to need a lesbian scene with Lyla and Julie next episode.

Jason Katims (series creator): Sir, the two characters barely know each other. The only time they’ve shared scenes is during football games, and there is virtually no interaction between the two. We can’t just spontaneously have them stripping each other’s clothes off for the benefit of a potential audience that may or may not take notice.

Shady Messenger From NBC: Just put them at a party together or something. Julie’s distraught over Matt yet again and Lyla is drunk and on the cusp of renouncing her faith.

Katims: Surely you guys are joking.

SMFDT (observing text message): No, to the contrary, we’re quite serious. Just have Riggins or one of your other stock characters facilitate the encounter. Feel free to throw him into the mix as well.

Katims: (snickers smugly) Look gentlemen, first off I would hardly call Rigg-

SMFDT: No, you look! You sensitive fuck!

SMFN pulls SMFDT aside as Katims looks puzzled

SMFN (to SMFDT): Let me handle this, it’ll be easier that way.

SMFDT: Fine. (At both of them) I’ve got shit to do anyways.

SMFN leans over towards Katims so they can speak privately amongst the stage crew while SMFDT walks off dejectedly

SMFN: Alright, enough bullshit. Mr. Silverman has had enough of your weepy girlfriends and wives, and brooding male leads that your menial but insane fan base seems so infatuated with. I swear, if I have to open another package to find yet another football from some fucking crazed lonely spinster saying “save FNL!” then I swear to God Jason, that football is going to find its way into your rectum, and it will be as unpleasant as is humanly possible. Do we understand each other?

Katims: (mortified yet unsurprised) Yes sir.

SMFN: Good, now make this happen. I don’t give a fuck if they’re on a trampoline in front of a hundred onlookers or if they’re in Riggins’ truck at the Mexican border. You will do this, or we’ll have your nuts lopped off and make wishes as we throw them into the lake. Am I making myself clear?

Katims: (complacent) I think your suggestion can be accommodated. Thank you, the writing staff will probably love the concept.

SMFN: (Pat’s him on the back) I knew you’d come around.

SMFN turns to leave

Katims: Oh, can you do me a favor?

SMFN redirects his attention to Katims

Katims:Can you not tell Mr. Silverman about this conversation? Tell him…tell him I’m happy to accommodate him in any way he sees fit?

SMFN: Sure. He’ll be happy to hear that, Jason.

In other words, don’t necessarily expect the same series we’re used to seeing.

Back with some links tomorrow.

Well, that was an interesting little parody. Its over the top nature is in step with the coverage of Britney Spears, so we did not mind her walking around with her head missing as to illustrate the point that the paparazzi and media are never, as long as she is walking this earth, going to reward her any privacy. It isn’t the funniest celebrity parody they have done on the series, but it is probably the most apt.

Britney was lucky, her tabloid counterpart really took it on the chin.

We have nothing interesting to add to the topic of celebrity culture in mainly the US and Britain (It’s unnecessary, pointless, etc.), so we don’t want to turn this post into some sort of social commentary. But with the manner in which all coverage is almost cult like of her, we wouldn’t be surprised if there was some untold secret about why Britney Spears and people of her ilk are followed around so vigorously. I mean, the coverage isn’t just informative (or rather, as informative as any of this coverage can be), it’s callous to boot. The episode was pitch perfect in the tone of the coverage and everyday attitudes towards it as well:

Studio guy: She is so stupid.
Kyle: Of course she is, she doesn’t have a brain.
Studio guy: yeah, isn’t she dumb?
Kyle: No, I mean her brain is literally gone!
Studio guy: Yeah, and she’s fat too.

That exchange, in addition to the camel toe and the paparazzi guy pointing intensely at Kyle, Stan and Spears as they attempted to sneak out of the hospital were the only times we recall laughing in the episode, but it was still an interesting take on the subject matter. It’s rare South Park has a decent episode that we didn’t find all that funny, but enjoyed regardless.

Other notes from this episode:

-Does anyone know what movie they were parodying as Britney was making her escape for the north pole and was trapped in the middle of the field with the calm, unflinching mob? We have it stored in the cerebellum somewhere, but are unable to locate it at the moment.

-The opening scene really wet our beak for what has to be the inevitable democratic primary satire. If it is anything like what they did for the 2004 election, then we’ll certainly find it delightful.

-Since the coverage of Britney Spears is so abundant, is there any chance this actually gets recognized by the news media? After the Cartoon Wars episodes, I’m fairly certain Parker and Stone have a free pass on any controversial material and everyone willfully ignores it. The only episode we remember getting any publicity is the Scientology spoofs.

-Maybe this will do for Spears what the SNL sketches did for Clinton. And she can also awkwardly reference it in a public forum.

Enjoyable episode overall. Seldom we are actually interested in the plot of a South Park episode, we were with the “Imaginationland” trilogy, but the story was funny as hell too. This had a few laughs, a fresh angle and since a woman was walking around with the entire top of her head blown off, it was probably the most outlandish episode done as well. In other words, this isn’t making us run out and buy the DVD’s, but definitely keeping our interest.

Off tomorrow, back Monday with some news links or something.

We are preempting our Survivor recap by a day because CBS is doing the same thing due to the NCAA tourney. Which, as a result, we’ll be taking Friday off because we’ll have nothing to write about (again) and potentially be nursing a hangover. Either way, this site is starting to feel redundant and we need a long weekend to watch basketball and forget about it.

Pre-credits scene, Erik is pontificating about the depths of the favorites sleaze. I guess he hasn’t been around long enough to be seasoned, but he is a fan allegedly, maybe one can’t fully grasp the betrayal until he is at ground zero of this game. Or maybe he’s just and idiot. Yeah, I think the latter is accurate. That’s pretty much it before the credits role.

Back from commercial at Malakal, Tracey and Chet are contemplating the decision to get rid of one of the fans. Tracey confronts Erik about the situation and is gun ho about getting one from their the favs to vote with them, and she’s right. She claims she had to do it because Chet wanted too and to make it this far in the game. After being approached, Ami appears to be considering the tribe switch, because everyone else from the favs was on her rival alliance in the original Malakal.

Over at Airai, Jon’s struggling with his leg, and James recognizes Penner’s contribution to the tribe and sorely wants to keep him around. And Eliza needs him as a member of their core alliance. It’s a great scene, James even adds his usual touch of misogyny, claiming to need Penner around so to avoid being the lone male tribe member.

At IC, the challenge consists of collecting materials in the water (Ozzy’s team wins) to build a blockade for the other team, then they have to plow through the blockade the other team built for them, first team to cross everyone through the blockade wins. They are playing for the natives words of wisdom. Penner can barely drag these blocks ten feet before he falls on his ass. Apparently they only have ten minutes to build the blockade. It’s a bunch of camera switches and quick hits, a few quotes here and there, it’s a good challenged but bad television. There is this really odd transition when they switch from building the blockade to tearing through their opponents.

Here’s the blockade’s that were being built, it’s such a ridiculous thing to describe I figured a visual interpretation would be much easier.

Cirie and Ozzy are crawling through for Malakal. And…Cirie? Really? They only need to move a couple planks? Airai is storming through the tunnel after falling behind and they end up winning in a landslide. Some big dense meathead might have been beneficial in this one. You know, to rip out all those strategically lodged wooden planks and such. Anyhow, Chet and Jason end up going to exile.

The medics take a look at Jon’s leg and ultimately decide he needs to go home, it’s pretty emotional and kind of epitomizes why I like the guy. At least three people in addition to Penner are reduced to tears. Hard to understand why he takes it so hard, but he came back for a reason and knew what he was getting into, which makes it all the more regrettable I suppose. He’s an actor, so melodrama probably comes natural to him, but when the options are compete for a million dollars and literally run the gamut of losing your life, the choice is kind of made for you. So long Penner, you deserved better.

On reward, Parvati asks one of the natives, it looks like the patriarch, if he is married, which seems a little forward but in character. It could have been idle small chat, but were jumping to conclusions that she totally wanted to sleep with this guy.

James laments Jon’s absence, apparently he needs his presence to deal with women and his diction is that of a confused fourteen year-old. It’s relatable though, most men would hate to be alone on an island with six different women.

Cirie over at Malakal is getting all elitist about having to deal with newbies, it’s really unpleasant. Ami takes her annoyance to Tracey, because frankly it is annoying as all hell. Why does she think she can’t be hassled? Ami and the fans seem to form an alliance and it makes me like Ami whose seemed non-existent up until now, all the more.

At exile, naturally Chet is just lying around on the island because of his leg and he believes Ozzy already has the idol. He would be right, but for all the wrong reasons. Jason finds the fake Ozzy-planted idol and goes on a long tangent about how great this development is for him. When he goes back to his old tribe, we’ll see if he isn’t informed otherwise before he has to play that pathetic looking thing. It’s seriously looks like something made by a boy scout, only if that boy scout was hammered at the time.

Apparently the natives are still on the island, showing them how to acquire food through the night and damn if it wasn’t beneficial. Will they actually be able to apply this newfound knowledge when the natives leave? I’m skeptical.

At IC, I guess, are they really sending two people home in one episode. Chet and Jason don’t really seem to mind too much. We here that he is doing alright. Probst inquires about the idol. Jason lies his ass off and says he assumes Ozzy has it (which he does, but he apparently doesn’t know that), and Ozzy lies his ass off saying he doesn’t.

IC consists of gathering really narrow platforms and carrying teammates from one balcony to the other, Airai uses only one of the platforms to take Eliza across with James holding the thing up and all the women and Jason balancing the thing. Probst expresses his adulation for James by name dropping him during all this, which seems a little too appreciative. Does he scream out his name when he cums as well? They get two people across the space before Malakal gets one and win before they even start with their second person.

Boy, it looks like voting out that lunkhead Joel might not have been the best decision. It’s like, when there is still over fifteen people, the best solution is to keep the tribe strong, thus avoiding losing too many tribemates. Not that Joel lived by that or anything (cough, Mary, cough, cough, Mike, cough). Oh well, at least we have a chance to see Cirie get booted.

Back at the now permanently defunct Malakal, they are discussing the newly dispatched Jonathan, who’s all better by the way. Chet decides to voluntarily leave because of some puss that may or may not be spreading on his heel. Tracey is a little bitter, considering she just got Ami to come over to their alliance and now this evens out their numbers once again. Tracey refuses to vote him, so Jason, Tracey and Ami all decide to vote for Ozzy when he’s least expecting it. And it is quite brilliant since he has to play it before the vote is read. Jason pours it on the convincing a little thick, and Chet does kind of owe the old broad for undeservedly saving his ass. Twice. We go to tribal not knowing which way this is going to swing.

At TC, Cirie reflects on Penner’s exit, and says if he could argue it down, he would have. At least she reflects on this pleasantly. Jason, for whatever reason, opens up about the idol and Ozzy’s supposed (and viewer known) immunity idol. Probst asks Ozzy about the vote tonight, and he goes all hyperbolic on us saying he would jump naked into the water should Chet not be voted out. And that if he (himself) was voted off, he doesn’t deserve to be there anyways. Chet has to counter with something along the lines of, “its never the person you think will go home”. Should raise some eyebrows since he all but forfeited back at camp. Ozzy votes for Chet, wishes his foot well, Ami apologizes to her vote and it’s left unseen, though the camera suggests she voted for Ozzy. The rest read as such after Ozzy does not play the idol:
Chet
Chet
Chet
Chet
Damn. They backed up on the Ozzy idea? Usually all those indicators of him not being voted out means precisely that he will. And what the fuck? People are defying Tracy’s wishes now. Oh, you will feel her wrath, and you will not enjoy a second of it. Their next vote should be very interesting. They have six people and a 3-3 alliance assuming Ami stays alongside Jason and Tracy. But I imagine she’ll wise up (for her own best interests, not mine) and go back to the other favorites that she seems to despise.

In his parting words, Chet is somehow proud of himself and considers himself part of the “Survivor family”. He thanks everyone for bringing him on and exposing all his vulnerabilities, which we all would appreciate, I’m sure.

Tonight: It looks like those lessons taught by the natives didn’t stick, as they refer to their situation as “torturous” and “savage”. So it would seem the favorites entire food supply in the past was a result of Ozzy. That’s essentially what I figured. Hey, as long as they keep winning challenges, they can keep living in squalor.

South Park review tomorrow.

It appears George Lucas is working on a new television series he is referring to as a cross between Sopranos and Deadwood…in space! On the surface this sounds like quite possibly too retarded from a guy who still lives off a trilogy he completed a quarter of a century ago, but then we recalled what the prequel trilogy entailed, and well, we decided that his description probably isn’t a misquote.

What can we expect from something like that? I’m picturing a bunch of Italians eating lasagna and drinking wine in a rusty saloon with shotguns and androgynous females. Maybe that is too on the nose, maybe it is something like a gang of wookies that speak with Italian accents in a mining town that is too close to the sun. That sounds just right. Essentially, its going to be like the bar scene from Star Wars but with an abundance of humans.

Imagine them all holding lightsabers. Yeah, that’s a fucking goldmine.

If almost anyone else had said this it would be a laughing stock, not something that everyone anticipates with great vigor. I’m going to announce a project that crosses Mr. Baseball and The Deer Hunter, it’s set during a war in the US after a Japanese baseball player is drafted in a coalition effort. The baseball player forms a bond with his fellow soldiers and crazy high jinks ensue on many battlefields in a war torn country. Amidst all the strife, he teaches his fellow soldiers — among other valuable life lessons — not to take the war so seriously before they are all killed in an air strike. Genius. It’s tragic and zany.

For every word that I hear this guy say and every project he has announced, I am all the more grateful that Annie Hall beat out Star Wars for best picture in 1977. It’s not like Woody Allen has been on his A-game for the past twenty years or anything, but Crimes and Misdemeanors, Sweet and Lowdown, Mighty Aphrodite and Match Point alone make for a better post magnum opus career that anything Lucas has been apart of, and I’m not even including his work from 1978 to 1987.

Maybe we should stop rewarding projects to people who never demonstrate any consistency. If you are kind enough to take a gander at his IMDB page, you will notice that it is extremely, almost obnoxiously long, but outside of Star Wars movies and I’ll throw Willow into the mix, is there anything else that received commercial or critical praise? Don’t get me wrong, Howard The Duck has its qualities, but by no stretch of the imagination is it considered a success.

Whatever, all the Star Wars films (even the most recent three) grossed more money than the GDP of most African countries, so he’s always going to get film and television deals and that is just a reality. Until he doesn’t, and then we’ll see the prequel “remastered” to match the quality of modern day film (South Park covered this mockery quite aptly). But when this project ultimately disappoints, just like so many others he has been apart of, do not complain that you weren’t forewarned.

This is what happens when you rewatch an academy award winning movie instead of one of the more anticipated miniseries’ in about a decade, you have nothing to write on your website about. We saw like the first thirty minutes of it, but it was on mute as not to distract us from the riveting phone conversation we were engaged in. Anyhow, it looked stylistic if somewhat fake, and Giamatti — even with being the title character — is on screen entirely too much.

So yeah, outside of the selection show that is our weekend in a nutshell: we didn’t watch John Adams. Enthralling. We did, however, watch No Country For Old Men last night, and this is on the heels of seeing 3:10 To Yuma earlier in the week, all that is really comparable about the two is the villains. And after seeing No Country again, Antoine Chigurh makes Bud West looks like an OZ prag.

See, clearly Giamatti wasn’t that much of a miscast.

It appears not everyone is immediately giving John Adams a rave review like is usually done. This one is particularly soulless towards Giamatti, whose stock has been plummeting ever since he was integral to that Lady In The Water movie.

But hey, HBO only shelled out $100 million to see this project made, that’s hardly even considered a significant investment for a pay channel. Can someone explain the logic for HBO to invest this heavily in something when they are reliant on subscribers? Few to no people are actually going to pay for HBO as a result of a miniseries, and even if they do, conventional wisdom would suggest that it’ll be canceled two months from now when the series is done. So I guess the incentive is that those people, after being exposed to the majesty that is HBO, will have no choice but to keep the pay network, or be to lazy to cancel it, or maybe its DVD sales and awards are the motivators. Either way, I need an explanation.

If this guy’s opinion counts for anything at all, it looks like Mad Men will go over well with the Brits. There seems to be a proclivity on the other side of the pond for watching Americans wallow in despair. From what I can gather, The Wire has a pretty strong following as well. Of course, I enjoy watching both series’, which I guess would make me a self-loathing patriot. Whatever, I’m not watching 24.

The gang from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia is bringing their act to FOX in a new sitcom deal. Or rather, a portion of their act, were not certain FCC guidelines allow for a comedy about finding a dumpster baby. On the other hand, they do allow people to wreck their lives on reality television, so the excessive degree of lewdness could go either way.

To send you out on this Monday morning on a high note, it appears FNL is getting closer and closer to a deal. Good, we don’t want our Crucifictorious t-shirt to be dated before we ever wear it in public. Besides, what is Minka Kelly going to do should this series go off the air.

Slow day, back with more tomorrow.

That title is just a morass of punctuation. It’s how I imagine Clark Kent wrote all his columns for the paper he worked at. Not merely written prose, but prose so complex that only people who could fly are able to decrypt it. Anyway, here are my last thoughts on the characters and themes of The Wire finale and series, we’ll try to wrap it up and be as inclusive as possible, but we’re not certain everything will be covered. Email or comment if we left out something imperative.

We just watched the pilot episode the other day, and one thing we were surprised by is there was never a Bubbs-Kima reunion. She always joked that if Bubbs ever cleaned himself up that he wouldn’t be useful to her, so we suppose their lack of a reunion is emblematic of Bubbles progression. But still, they seemed to have a partnership that extended past po-lice work, my guess is this is a result of the shortened season.

Speaking of Kima, we’ve spent little to no time contemplating her decision. We didn’t like it, but can understand. She always had a moral center that McNulty, in matters of policing, seemed to lack. For all the grooming, or expected grooming of her as the next McNulty, she turned out to be the next Bunk, which is probably a healthier lifestyle. The final scene with her and Bunk at the terrace homes where Ron Gant (the series’ first murder victim and the closing scene for the pilot episode) was murdered, was a nice callback and typified the parallelism the finale seemed to hinge on.

Carver as the next Daniels, and Daniels as the next, uh, Levy? I guess, was unexpected if you are currently rewatching the first season like I am. Carver always did demonstrate a little more competency and concern than Herc, but certainly did represent the best and brightest in the western. Then again, we know Daniels was skimming money off the top in his early days in the eastern, and is all but responsible for why he’s a lawyer now, but the contrast of personalities really resonates when he, Prez and Herc go about their flaccid raid on the franklin terrace.

We’ve been almost mute on the newspaper story because it is what everyone expected it to be (tired football reference: They are who we thought they were!), but we thought they capped it off appropriately, even if expectedly. At least Fletch was promoted to fill Gus’ position, even if Gus being demoted and Alma being outsourced is completely unjustified, they at least put some nobility in the assistant editors position. Clark Johnson played the hell out of that role, his speech about being “too simple-minded” to Alma and his outrage at Klebanow were the two defining newsroom scenes. The latter got him demoted, and the former explained why he stayed. Fuck Templeton. It’s a shame McNulty never got to bond with Gus.

Other thoughts:

-The old MCU has reverted back to nothing more than a phone in an empty room. Since Lester was the face of major crimes, I supposed it makes sense he is back to focusing on his dollhouse miniatures.

-Slim Charles finally became a CEO, the last refuge of recognizable, regular street characters still on the street.

-Chris and Weebay bonding in prison…sounds about right. Their lack of remorse, like they completely expected to spend the majority of their lives in prison, is disturbing, if not profound on a thematic level. If Prison Break was done with these actors, characters and writers, we might watch it.

-It was somewhat astounding that we didn’t get a shot of Cutty in the final montage. A small complaint, since its been summarized what he is and will continue to do. But a snippet of him coaching in the gym with women offering large servings of food would have been a nice finishing touch. Of course, I could lament the same thing about Randy, or Namond, or Bunny or Ziggy or Nick or any other number of characters throughout the series. But it was still beautifully executed.

That’s it. The greatest series in television history comes to a close on a strong note with a demand for more storytelling. It encompassed everything that is dismal and depressing about this country but had an addictive quality to it that is almost beyond comprehension. We suppose it has something to do with the character development or the intertwining storylines that almost never cross paths. We went through three seasons with multiple characters who were only connected through other characters, and no one ever mentions it. Who did Slim Charles ever associate with outside of the street? Or Cutty outside of the gym? Or Daniels outside of the department? Or Carcetti outside of politics?

This series really should usher in a new form of television a la The Sopranos, but it is so much trickier to market. How do you present an ensemble cast regularly exceeding fifty characters to a public that typically lacks the attention span to even read a news article? It’s impossible. So in a way, having it exalted in unreplicated semi-obscurity for dorks like me and the majority of my fellow Wire brethren, almost makes the series that much more unique and memorable.

Have a good weekend, y’all.

You know it’s been a successful venture when within a week after the series ends, people begin speculating about a film and despite infinite amounts of closure, fans still want more. We aren’t privy to insider knowledge, but we probably spend about 40% of our time at work scouring the internet for Wire related news and commentary. Since Monday, this is the best we’ve found.

Hey, speaking of a movie, several actors have already locked in a deal to finance the thing, though David Simon isn’t feeling it at the moment. We’d go see it, but the format would have to be so dramatically modified were not sure it would resemble the television series at all. Still, the rumor is a prequel, so if it brought us a young Bunk, Bodie, Omar, Bubbles, etc. Well, lets just say they have us by the nuts and leave it at that.

Thing is, David Simon isn’t so hot on the idea at the moment. Simon, as intelligent, insightful and down to Earth as he appears to be, seems like he would require a lot of ego-stroking to convince him to do anything, “come on Mr. Simon, you’re so smart and so talented, no one could make a film depicting urban and American decay as well as you.”

This guy from the Baltimore Sun, not so surprisingly, pisses all over the finale (and the season in general). While I agree that the series lost a bit of authenticity this year, and that at times, the newsroom characters felt a little one-note in their motives, this scathing piece just wreaks of sour grapes. I think part of this backlash from journalists (who by in large loved the series before this season), is due to them not being removed from the institution under fire, and either can’t see this season for what it is or refuse to do so.

Here’s a letter of appreciation from David Simon to the fans, of which 1.8 million watched his finale. Naturally it doubled in ratings when on demand was no longer an earlier option. Not tremendous ratings, but respectable for HBO. To quote Norris in the first cold open in the fifth season premiere, “Americans are stupid people by and large”. One of them however, wasn’t David Simon, who instead attended a Pogues concert. I knew there was a reason I liked this guy.

We can’t think of a better way to spend an evening in March. Other than watching The Wire.

Here’s some streaming video of them shooting the final episode. Not exactly riveting, but they keep all spoilers under such tight wraps, I’m surprised there’s actually video available of them shooting. /sarcasm.

A scene by scene breakdown of the final montage with “hilarious” commentary. Its not terrible, but The Wire is too good for us to be facetious about the final montage.

Actually, we take that back. This opening credits of Wire characters to the Survivor music in the background is hysterical, particularly Dukie’s introduction.

Several cast members reflect on the past five seasons. We haven’t read it yet, but listening to actors discuss a series that they are involved with and a fan of is always an insightful, fresh perspective. And that is probably the last time you’ll ever hear me say anything an actor says is insightful.

Final thoughts on the series and its characters later today.

Well, that was…underwhelming. It’s been awhile since our last South Park recap, so we understand the premium on being controversial after that long of a hiatus, but while we love the premise they decided to use, and the invocation of Magic Johnson, but the execution left something to be desired.

We were hoping for some form of campaign parody, and that it would be dealt with evenly, as opposed to just undermining one side and gently mocking the other (I’m looking at you, SNL), and we fully expect them to touch upon that in the next seven episodes so that isn’t the sole reason for why we’re unimpressed. The main reason for our disappointment is the predictability of most of the dialogue.

For example, Cartman’s outburst on the plane over AIDS being worse than cancer. While it’s a darkly comical suggestion, it just felt like they didn’t deliver with it. There is such an array for situational humor there, that they skipped over for over-zealous screaming and outrageousness. The majority of the episode felt like this.

That isn’t to say the episode was without its highlights. Kyle berating Cartman in front of Magic over his use of the phrase “HIV positive”, along with Cartman trying to defend why he infected Kyle with HIV, and Kyle being incapable of controlling his laughter at the news that Cartman was HIV positive, but those three moments just saved an otherwise confusing twenty-two minutes. Not confusing in the sense that we didn’t understand what we were watching, but confusing as to why we were watching it in the first place.

Your random, weekly celebrity mocking on this week’s South Park

This seemed to happen in their last cycle of episodes, they came out with the “Le Petit Tourette” episode, which had one shining moment (Stan or Kyle at the Tourette’s support meeting) but felt underwritten and mismanaged otherwise. But that same cycle of episodes gave us the “Imaginationland” trilogy which is arguably Parker and Stone’s magnum opus. So my expectations are still high, even if they were unmet last night.

The reason for our high expectations probably stems from the strike that left us in a comedy drought ever since January. Sure, FNL and The Wire have their moments (especially the latter), but as far as scripted half hour comedies are concerned, no Weeds, Curb or The Office have left us pining for something to laugh at on the small screen. Last night’s episode, for the most part, wasn’t it.

Probably no time for links today, as we forgot that South Park returned last night and need to review the episode later this afternoon. But we’ll have our last Wire review of the finale tomorrow, and a Wire-centric post of links. Onto the recap…

Pre-credits scene, Walking back from camp the fans are dejected, particularly the two kids who look almost identical. The following day, Chet and Tracy are already strategizing getting rid of Jason, who does seem like a bit of a pompous dickhead. No love lost here at Grid Effect.

The favorites are enjoying the offspring of their chicken and are looking forward to the parents. Ozzy agrees to chop its head off and does so almost gleefully, and PETA is sure to chime in at some point this week. Ozzy hid the immunity idol in a cave, he says in a camera interview that he’s going to withhold this information, then immediately tells James, then Parvati and Amanda. Amanda regals how they are the powerhouse, which can be entirely attributed to her, obviously.

At IC, we discover they are mixing tribes, Ozzy and Natalie are randomly selected captains.They break down as such:
Natalie takes James, James takes Alexis, Alexis takes Jonathan, Johnathan takes Jason, Jason takes Parvati, Parvati takes Kathy, she by default has to take Eliza
Ozzy takes Joel, Joel takes Amanda, Amanda takes Eric, he takes Ami, Ami takes Tracey, Tracey takes Cirie, she by default has to take Chet.

So your new teams are the following:
Malakal:
Ozzy
Joel
Amanda
Eric
Ami
Tracey
Cirie
Chet

Airai:
Natalie
James
Alexis
Jonathan
Jason
Parvati
Kathy
Eliza

They go right to the challenge with the new teams, and its like something out of a 80’s movie bar fight with the degree of injuries incurred. Two team members are harnessed together and have to pull the flag off of two opponents who are also harnessed together. They are borders which they can’t exceed and it’s in the woods, so the hazardousness is pretty damn high, especially if one teammate cannot keep up with the other.

I’m fairly certain that if I was dating his ex, I’d be walking around with a gun.

They’re playing for a feast of sorts and no one is going to exile. In the first round Erik and Ozzy are chasing Kathy and Natalie and run them down like wild dogs to grab the flag. Parvati and Eliza are chasing Chet and Joel and snag the flag in a little more dramatic fashion, Ami and Amanda are chasing James and Jason, Ami bangs her ankle but they capture the flag anyhow, to give you an idea how easy this is for the offensive side. Penner and Alexis take the next flag making it 2-2, but not before Penner’s leg is penetrated with some woodland object.

Chet and Joel are running down and Eliza and my lord is Chet a liability in these physical challenges! Chet smacks his head on a wooden plank and never recovers, or at least Joel never gives him the opportunity too. Eliza and Ami actually escape their would be captors (the first time it happened in this challenge), which makes sense since they would excel at communication having already spent a season together, and Chet and Joel summarily hate each other.

Malakal was the losing tribe, but the fans are ecstatic that they get to return to the favorites camp, which is rather lavish for a reality game show. Joel calls the loss poetic justice by his choice to get rid of Mike instead of Chet, and it’s kind of enjoyable to watch him totally befuddled and completely unwilling to take any blame for the loss. But he also sees the upside in having deadweight, and someone to vote off rather promptly. Ozzy levels with everyone, and he has to be glad to be at the same camp for the sake of the idol that I don’t think he’s allowed to recover if he’s shipped off to the other island. Ozzy calls Chet a sack of potatoes, and like everyone else, realizes he needs to go. Chet relates his place in the game to that of chickens natural pecking order, I guess he is lucky he didn’t see the beheading, then.

Over at Airai, the fans are a little disappointed with the surroundings and as if God is playing a joke on them, the water washes up too high and takes out the fire they are using to cook their newly acquired food. Jonathan is worried about the injury he sustained in that brutal challenge. Enough so that the medics show up and shoot him with some sort of numbing agent that looks remarkably painful, then stitch him up, which we “get” to see the entirety of. Apparently it could still be infected, so the stitching doesn’t make much sense, but I guess it’s the only short term solution if he wants to stay.

We cut to Ozzy beating the fish at their own game, meaning he is going about 12 feet below the surface of the water and spearing them at eye level. After this impressive display, Ozzy has Jason at his beck and call. Ozzy wants to get rid of Chet and Joel shows a little sense, wanting to get rid of Cirie beforehand, then wants to vote out Chet to even out the fans vs. favorites numbers. It’s pretty damn preemptive, but I like it. He’s covering all his bases and attempting to do what the googily eyed blond and PG tried in China, but in a less sinister way.

Jonathan is trying to get a new camp built and everyone is more than willing to pitch in. Surprisingly enough they don’t built it on wet sand. Brilliant. The fans really need to get over the favorites, a la Joel and Tracey. All this fanfare can’t be helping their cause.

Over at Malakal, Amanda has become the second survivor contestant to catch a shark, but she wrestled hers whereas Tom speared his. Ozzy finds it attractive, which has a tinge of bestiality to it somewhere, but I can’t figure out how. It’s like he wants to pull a Zeppelin on her or something.

At RC, the challenge consists of throwing rocks at ceramic targets then solving a puzzle. Ozzy murders the first, James continues to disappoint and whiffs, but partially breaks the second one. Malakal only has one to break, James partially breaks another one and Jason finishes it off. Jonathan gets into an exchange with Probst after he blatantly misinterprets jonathan’s bitching. It’s worth pointing out that Jonathan is hobbling around like Forrest Gump in leg braces, so this challenge couldn’t be more timely. While solving the puzzle, Chet is completely useless giving directions perched atop the layout on a lifeguard chair of sorts. Eliza proves those comprehension skills she needed for her LSAT by blatantly outclassing him. At this point production almost has to send him home to end this national humiliation.

Coming back from the challenge, Malakal is looking dispirited as they should. but it’s a pretty quick fix, just rid yourself of the saboteur and all will be right with the world. Joel and Jason are agreeing they want to get rid of Chet. Joel’s claiming he’s never been around someone with so little backbone, and says if they went back to medieval times they would finish him permanently. It’s funny, we make jokes about them being medieval, and then they make literal references to it. Cirie, feeling next in line on the chopping block if the motto is indeed weakest is first to go, makes a move to get rid of Joel first. she seems to be actually be persuading Ozzy after approaching Chet and Tracy about the prospect. We go to Tribal with Ozzy and Amanda being swing votes of sorts.

At TC, we discuss the selection process. Ozzy says he took Joel with the intent of just countering Natalie’s pick of James. Tracy defends Chet in the reward challenge, she claims communication and that seems thin but arguable, as Joel is something of a blockhead, though we couldn’t really hear what (if anything) was being exchanged. Everyone gives non-committal answers that explains in one way or another who they are voting for. Jason votes for Chet, Chet votes for Joel, Tracy votes for Joel for calling her “weak one too many times”, the rest read as such:
Joel
Chet
Chet
Joel
Joel
Joel
Joel
Well, I guess should they lose another challenge, at least they still have a scapegoat. Really, I can’t believe Ozzy agreed to that nonsense, don’t get me wrong, Joel’s a schmuck-face, but he just said at tribal that he picked Joel to counter James’ strength, and now that is gone. It’s no wonder the tribe with Chet and Tracy on it continues to lose challenges. At least it keeps things interesting. And somehow Cirie again has executive control over the game. Again. We still have Ozzy and Amanda who might come to their senses.

Tonight: Eric apparently believes he found the the immunity idol, apparently not realizing its nothing more than shaved wood. And Jonathan has an infection that could potentially be fatal, so it sounds like we won’t have a tribal council.

in his parting words, Joel is humiliated and feels insulted. He’s actually a touch bitter. One thing you never learned, Joel, is to be a leader, people have to find you somewhat likable. As a result of his outing, he wants to “ring a few necks”. How else did you expect him to leave the game but to physically threaten someone?

South Park review later.

I thought naming this post after the four boys’ introductory episode seemed appropriate. Mostly as an illustration of how far they’ve come and how low the majority of them were forced to stoop. These are probably the characters that tugged at the heartstrings of more of its audience members than any other facet of a series known for drawing tears. So a follow-up post on their conclusion is only fitting, given how invested everyone is in them.

Namond: The one non-tragic figure of the three. He’ll probably go to University of Maryland, and sleep with numerous slutty white girls intent on pissing of their fathers. If one of them isn’t the two that Dukie and Michael met at Six Flags I’d be surprised, you know how this series loves its continuity and parallelism. If I had to guess he’ll probably major in English, because that curriculum is filled with guys who like to talk shit constantly but really never say anything. In ten years he’ll probably have a life resembling Prezbo’s or Gus’. But he’ll certainly never follow in Bunny’s footsteps.

Randy: The happiest of the three seems to be the most transformed of the four. When we started out, Randy had the best situation possible. A surrogate mother keeping a close eye on him and everything he did. But unfortunately, just living in that environment trouble finds you. And being thirteen or whatever, you’re not always going to handle it perfectly. Watching his childhood be ripped from him at the end of the fourth season, to seeing him ripped, being confrontational with Bunk then shoving the grade-schooler on the steps was like seeing Bruce Banner turn into the Hulk for the first time. There is absolutely nothing resembling the before and after shot.

I have no idea if Randy was putting on airs or not. It appears that if he was, his whole life is a facade, a coping mechanism he uses to compensate for being labeled a snitch at one point in time. Whether he’s legitimately that hardened or not, the kid who wanted to own a grocery store will probably wind up being your typical corner boy with no future, and no actual interest in slinging, and therefore, no upward mobility. If he doesn’t turn out like Bodie it would be considered a success.

From left to right we have a pecking order from tragic to hopeful.

Dukie: Easily the most tragic of the four. Despite being from the most desolate of backgrounds (his entire family addicted to crack), Dukie survived and avoided using for as long as was humanly possible. I actually had a friend suggest Dukie’s outcome was his own fault for skipping high school. This was coming from a friend that grew up in an upper-middle class suburb with a doctor and a lawyer for parents, who got through school (high school and college) pulling B’s and C’s. Needless to say, his worldly experience was a polar opposite and infinitely better than The Wire’s whipping boy. Just consider how cold Ms. Donnelly was with him at the school entrance, that is the only real home he’s ever known and even they have shunned him.

A staple of everything that is wrong with how cities are governed and our schools are ran, Dukie was probably the smartest of the four and ends up on the streets doing crack with his new Prezbo, an araber heroin addict. The best outcome for him is something akin to what Bubbles got at the end of his season. But where is Dukie’s safety net that will let him stay in her basement? Sadly, he doesn’t have one, and my there are plenty of cynical overtones in my prediction for someone’s like Dukie’s future, especially if he’s already unconvincing people who at least pretend to care about him for money. Let’s just move on.

Michael: The one fit for the streets but capable of so much more. His inevitable outcome was either kingpin or stickup artist, and he’s too young to be the former, but independent enough to be the latter. Some people took issue with this explanation, but what was his other option? Just stay in hiding until the day he dies? All he knows is Baltimore, so he isn’t lambing it. For someone as intelligent and capable as Michael, he was bound to rebel against one institution or another. Given his means, it happens to be the most ruthless one possible. If he had a suburban type background, he might have turned out to be the next Eliot Spitzer, sans the addiction to prostitutes. Nice callback to Omar’s introduction when he shot Vinson in the knee. In an episode loaded with callbacks, this was the second most recognizable one.

These four kids were really the emotional core of the series. Since Wallace, everything else that happened tragically, predominately happened to adults. And while a significant amount of these adults were at one point one of these four kids, not being exposed to their upbringing makes it much easier to create some distance. In these four cases, we were not afforded that luxury. The Greek tragedy is resonates more here than at any point in the series, hence a post dedicated to them.

Were going to do some links to keep you posted on the rest of TV world, plus our weekly Survivor recap tomorrow. Won’t be a complete hiatus before we finish reviewing the series on Friday.