Grid Effect

So, remember when I said a couple days ago that HBO might be unsalvageable without the presence of any original scripted series? Well, umm, yeah (clears throat), we may have been wrong about that, or at least for ninety-one minutes last night When Bob Costas held a panel discussion about how professional sports are handled in the media. We probably could have recommended this yesterday instead of mocking Jeff Probst’s sensibilities. Pssh, whatever. We stand by the decision and offer no apologies.

The format was five different topics consisting of sports talk radio, blogs, television, beat reporters, and race in sports; each segment with their own panel and worthy of it’s own ninety minute discussion, since Costas manages to regularly bring in either qualified perspectives or personalities and didn’t disappoint last night. But the one that was the most contentious and messy was the “discussion” on blogs. We use quotations because it was more of a berating that an actual exchange of thoughts and ideas.

This panel consisted of Braylon Edwards, a wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns, Buzz Bissinger, best known for his novel on the Odessa Perriman football team, “Friday Night Lights”, and Will Leitch, author and editor of the website Deadspin. Deadspin is a sports blog that posts roughly fifteen times a day on varying topics and is probably our biggest distraction at work. It provides a fresh, humorous, almost lighthearted perspective on sports and athletes, gets close to 15,000,000 hits a month and for whatever reason angers those in traditional media.

Well, it’s not for whatever reason, they seem to be vast and misguided for the most part. This hostility can mainly be contributed to three factors: Many members of what’s widely referred to as the “mainstream media” since a growing irrelevance and downsizing of their medium, many think that blogs are salacious and disparaging with no motive, and many of them are just vindictive because of something they’ve read about themselves on blogs.

The host in his younger days, an amiable bloke but we disagree on the topic at hand.

And there is some credence to this, particularly the former. Anyone who watched the final season of The Wire knows how marginalized daily newspapers are becoming, and much of that fact is due to the internet and the incentive people have to update news and provide op-ed material on their own. It’s free, it’s convenient and based on that alone the demand for blogs isn’t going to relent. There is certainly some truth to the latter two, not all blogs are respectable and I’m sure have on occasion (if not regularly) said something uncalled for about a member of the media. And it certainly seems Buzz Bissinger has felt the scorn once or twice in his life, because his vitriol was off the charts.

The debate essentially consisted of Buzz screaming like a lunatic, Costas cutting him short way too late and asking for Leitch to explain himself, while Braylon Edwards mostly sat uncomfortably and waited for Costas to ask him his opinion (he did twice). But the biggest issue we take with Buzz is how misinformed and unfair he was. First of all, he did everything he could to lump all blogs together, which is just asinine. Will Leitch has no judicial control over what content is on any other blog other than his own. That would be like blaming the New York Times for something written by the Washington Post, what does one have to do with the other? I think Buzz was just struggling with the concept that when he goes from one webpage to the next with relative ease he is reading two, separate unrelated perspectives, which is what makes web-based content so appealing to so many.

And to his credit he brought in quotes and pieces from Deadspin itself to voice his discontent. But he managed to take everything out of context and seemingly did so intentionally. This just accentuated his self-righteousness. It all came to a head when he cherry-picked a quote that if read by itself is much more likely to be construed as offensive when the rest of the article wasn’t included. But when he accused Leitch for every blog on the internet not being 100% accurate, he accredited the article he was quoting from to the wrong author. The irony was rich if also infuriating and befuddling.

Costas, while doing his best to seem neutral, certainly seemed to have a predetermined opinion on the subject, asking Leitch to explain the commenters on his website (which more often than not seems to devolve into a tedious game of one-upsmanship ),, and subsequently asked him if he would hypothetically rummage through someone’s trash or used something someone else found from someone’s trash as a story. This probably more than anything else dictated the tone of the “debate”.

Edwards offered a little support for Mr. Leitch, but for the most part used a story about photos on the website of Matt Leinhart drinking at one of his I’m sure many house parties. Edwards isn’t the issue, however, just a bystander caught in the middle of a greater battle. His opinion basically stemmed from his noticeable paranoia about being caught in such a situation and was taking it personally. The issue is people are genuinely curious about professional athletes, and it’s not like these guys are hounded by paparazzi everywhere they go.

Leinhart threw a house party, invited several people into his house I’m sure he was unfamiliar with, someone snapped a photo of him getting drunk with some coeds (who turned out to be under 21, if that counts for anything), said person sent it into a website and Leitch chose to run a post about it because your average fan is curious what Matt Leinhart’s life might be like off the field. It’s that simple. Is Leitch not supposed to run it because he should be worried about offending the quarterback? Leitch’s primary concern is entertaining his readers while they trudge through another bland day at work, not protecting the reputation the quarterback on his favorite NFL team. It seems like if this is something you are tremendously offended by then it’s a pretty quick fix: don’t read it.

One would think we’d be even more incensed with HBO after the essential sandbagging they did to one of our favorite sportswriters, but we’re not. We can’t really explain why, but the contention between blogs and traditional media is most heated in the sports world and they provided a forum for a debate that is long overdue, even if it was 80% one-sided.

We could write about not only the internet segment, but the other four for hours on end, but this is a television blog and were only able to write about it on a technicality (the special was on television). But just know that if you watched the segment and found yourself agreeing with Bissinger and never read Deadspin, here is the follow-up story from Will Leitch on the experience and the article that Bissinger quoted from. You can decide for yourself if this seems like credible entertainment or just interesting content. We’d argue both, but we’re just a lowly blogger so please disregard anything we say as “unqualified”. Since apparently it requires so many credentials to state an opinion that any rationale human being could find reasonable.

Sorry for the tangent, Survivor recap tomorrow.

One might think that hosting the second most popular game show on television would make for a charmed life, but you would be wrong. Living a life that is akin to a constant vacation with intermediate working stints in tropical locations isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Just ask super-models.

For one, Jeff Probst, host of Survivor, has been in and out of therapy. Yes, I’m afraid that due to the abnormal nature of his career, being in and out of the country with only brief periods of familial contact can be quite trying for most millionaires. You might counter by arguing that their are plenty of others who work jobs that separate them from their family, but they aren’t fortunate enough to bring down seven figures, so he really doesn’t have any room for complaining. Which is just totally unfair. Those people don’t have the anxiety that comes with making all that money, they usually have to work two jobs and it’s definitely not a matter of vanity. They aren’t required to travel all over the globe either, because no one wants to put their expenses on the company tab, and they are fortunate enough to be unable to afford such expenditures on their own, so they don’t have to see everything the world has to offer.

The sacrifices some of us make. And obviously his judgment wasn’t influenced while she was in the game, if that’s what you were thinking.

He also dated one of the contestants from a past season, do you realize how tedious that can be? That’s like Violette Palmer dating Kevin Garnett. Sure, some might call that a conflict of interests, and Palmer would probably lose her job as a result, but think about all the domestic drama that must entail. Sadly, Probst ended his relationship with Julie Barry from Survivor: Vanuatu, and have opted not to be friends. That’s a shame, when two people share what I’m sure was three years of blissful monogamy only to decide that not only is the relationship over, but so is all contact with the ex-girlfriend must be really discouraging. Usually when I break up with a girl, we still enjoy everything a relationship has to offer minus the sex, and who doesn’t want that? Maybe Probst is dating a new, current contestant. I have my money on Parvati, because this guy just cannot catch a break*.

Still, he valiantly soldier’s on. Doing the unfathomable like sleeping in tents and while looking for new women to sleep with. One thing I’ve learned from this article, though, is that if there were more people as selfless as Jeff Probst, this world would be a much better place. There’s no denying that.

*= This entire article was facetious, but I truly pity anyone that dates Parvati.

Welcome back to the work week, kids. That was a helluva television weekend, unfortunately, none of it consisted of weekly series’. And why would it? If it was a great weekend for TV, it generally means that television series were explicitly not involved. Why? Because 90% of television series suck donkey nuts. We actually tried to watch twenty minutes of Desperate Housewives because we were burnt out on NBA around 9:15 or so, and it was just repetitive, poorly-acted crap.

Actually, “Desperate” is probably the appropriate adjective in this case. The twenty minutes we watched consisted mostly of Eva Longoria battling with her newly blind husband’s seeing eye dog for domestic supremacy. Eventually she gives it back to the shelter or whatever that she took it from and the dog follows her back home, only to lead to one of the more cliched scenes we’ve ever watched on television in which the dog finds its way back home, shows up at the window seal and begins barking, only for his wife to “hilariously” lie about his reappearance when the husband asks if that barking is coming from his dog and not the neighbors. It just struck me as the type of scene that this show has done a hundred times before. Except with a dog and a blind man, it is an unwitting boyfriend/husband and a guy in a closet. Or with some sort of borrowed appliance and the owner wanting it back.

But that didn’t lower the bar as much as the next scene we caught. A cop pulled over a girl for speeding either earlier in this episode or the episode beforehand, he follows her to a park and acts real ominously in asking if he can sit down. At first he sounds like he is going to try and get some sort of intimate compensation for letting her out of the ticket, until he asks about her mother and ultimately reveals that he is, indeed, her father.

It was just the least surprising surprise one could possibly imagine, and it was stretched out over close to five minutes. Ugh. Just horrible pacing and storytelling, especially if someone who doesn’t watch the series can guess what is going on within 30 seconds of what is probably considered a revealing scene. Given how much this show thrives on “twists”, my guess is that by the end of the season, everyone will discover that while he is actually her father, he tried to throw her off the Empire State Building when she was six months old. He came across as way too menacing to be an innocent on this show.

Anyhow, if this is the best Sunday night has to offer without HBO, then it is going to be a long five months, as they are going on hiatus until the fall. Really, it shouldn’t be too bad. NBA playoffs run until June, Generation Kill picks up shortly thereafter, and then we’ll have about a two month stretch of virtually no redeemable television on Sunday nights. Be prepared to break out the violins for this blog, because it is going to be in some dire straits, even more so than it is now.

This nonsense is not getting it done.

And really, more so than this blog’s well being, we’re worried about our weekly Sunday schedule, which generally consists of sitting around idly watching movies or sporting events (not an option in July and August), exercising at some point, eating a steak, the idly watching some HBO original programming. If HBO makes us do shit on the night of the sabbath, we might have to form our own picket line.

Consider this an endorsement and an indictment of the pay cable network. One on hand, they are responsible for the two greatest series of all time according to this website (just guess), a pop culture phenomenon (Sex and The City), one of the better comedy series’ ever (Curb), and countless other achievements (Deadwood Six Feet Under, Real Sports, Costas Now, etc.). And television in general is so fucking terrible that it’s generally the only salvation of the medium.

On the other hand, people pay hard-earned money for their product, and the only new series they have coming out for the next five months is a miniseries about the Iraq war, and episodes of Real Sports peppered throughout the months. To top if off, their last four original efforts have been mediocre at best and inexcusable at worst (In Treatment, Tell Me You Love Me, John From Cincinnati, Lucky Louie). We love what HBO has given us in the past, and the potential for what they have to offer. And while we are looking forward to Generation Kill as much as, anybody, probably, we don’t think we can justify paying for movies we’ve already seen in theaters or from Netflix for the next five months, while waiting for season premieres to air.

Yes, this is all a result of the writer’s strike. And yes, for the run they had through the earlier part of the decade they are allowed a few clunkers afterwards (note: all the good will they built up is officially gone). But if they literally aren’t even giving us something to mock, then it might be time for us to sideline the network.

At least until the fall.

Okay, we’ve managed to calm down since the Survivor write-up, but it’s all a facade, we’re still seething about that result. Anyhow, to the topic at hand, this Office episode had a lot of dark imagery and themes to it. Substance abuse, unrequited love, racial stereotypes…all extremely heavy topics for a twenty-two minute comedy. I mean, three or four years ago when The Office first aired, did anyone think we’d ever see Dwight in a New York City club making out with a center for a fictional collegiate basketball team?

After rewatching it during lunch, there are several absolutely hysterical points of comedy, but it felt disjointed more than usual because of all the numerous plot holes and it didn’t really advance any seasonal plot other than the obvious fact that Ryan is struggling with his new lifestyle. No, he’s not gay, just extremely troubled. And by troubled I mean reliant on drugs and alcohol to cope with his professional failures.

But outside of Ryan’s plight, we got nothing in the way of plot. But using a NYC night club as a setting for Michael, Dwight, a coked out Ryan and his dealer, well, that’s almost a sure thing for a sitcom, for Dwight in particular. And made us wonder all the more why despite how good Ed Helms is, Rainn Wilson’s name isn’t getting tossed around for a spin-off.

The rest of the cast locked in the office wasn’t doing much for us, but we thought it shed some light on a few things. Namely, the torch Toby has been carrying for Pam since the second season. Amazingly, the office seemed more shocked than the audience, because while they’ve hinted at it here and there, never did I think he would actually do anything so subtly aggressive out in the open. It struck us as more subconscious than a deliberative effort to be affectionate. Almost like he did it, then realized how he was doing it, then he was momentarily comfortable before realizing there was a swarm of people standing around him, then immediately made an excuse to run out of there in embarrassment. Really the only appropriate course of action for that situation.

But the entire Jim is the new Michael thing seems forced in a lot of ways. This is the second time they’ve done this, the first time in the “Survivor Man” episode it was much more subtle. This go around, we had Jim racially stereotyping people. In what other instance has he ever done that, and he has certainly had his opportunities. If they want to take the characters in that direction we in no way object, we actually prefer it given all the adulation people have for John Krasinski and his character Jim Halpert, but at the same time if it’s sloppily done like this appeared to be, then we need to reevaluate things.

There were plenty of things we enjoyed with that bit, even though We thought it shortsighted that they would even be locked in there in the first place or that they would struggle so mightily to find a way out, but we are able to overlook those minor details for a couple laughs. Still, this was definitely a side-story to Michael-Dwight-Ryan.

Choice moments/quotes:

-Quite possibly our favorite moment of the season, is the basketball team buying Dwight a drink, then him establishing eye contact before dumping it squarely in the trash out of paranoia that they were trying to drug him, followed by a contemptuous “nice try”.

Brilliant play, Mr. Schrute.

-”They look like white slaves” -Dwight, describing the girls in the first club they visited.

-Michael’s Wire tangent. Finally, that series is recognized by a broadcast network in some capacity. It’s a shame 95% of the audience has no idea what the hell he was talking about.

-”Do you live in a normal sized house?” -Dwight inquiring Ryan’s diminutive friend.

-Dwight singing his German lullaby as Ryan attempted to sleep. Reminded us when he was playing “Green Sleeves” on his flute for the employees offspring. Did we mention we really liked Rainn Wilson in this episode?

-Angela Kinsey who plays Angela, constantly behind a barrier to conceal her pregnancy. Well played by the stage crew.

-Everything Creed said during Ryan’s presentation.

Yeah, that is way too many highlights to not recommend or give Grid Effect stamp of approval. Only three more left this season, if they keep up at this rate The Office won’t really have any competition for best comedy.

For those who haven’t seen the movie To Die For, then don’t worry about that post’s title. But essentially it is comparing her to a woman who convinces a high schooler to murder her husband so she can advance her career without the hindrance of a spouse. That might seem a little harsh, I mean, Maretto at one point in time was at least expected to be charming.

Usually we wait until the day of the following episode to write about this. But last night’s episode was probably one of the bigger jokes we can remember from the show, and it can’t be put on hold for a week. Besides, that episode of The Office was too bizarre, we’re still trying to decide if we liked it or not and need to wait until later in the day to transcribe our thoughts on it.

Do you mind if I pull a Stephen Colbert for a second? Good, I CALLED IT! But I really wish I hadn’t. For starters, Natalie either got the worst edit in the history of reality television, or she is the most abominable personality to ever appear on Survivor, either way it is an unflattering debut for someone we were supposed to be watching for the past two months. Is this how all her interviews went and since she was such a peripheral player the production team thought better than to put her on camera talking about how integral and conniving she is? Or did she spend the majority of her camera interviews picking her giant pug nose and scratching her head with a rock?

We spent all night having nightmares about it, we figured our few readers should at least experience some induced nausea.

We mean no disrespect, but it was entirely preferable when she was seen and not heard, and presumably let Alexis do the talking for the both of them. Of course, looking at her is not something we aspire to do either, so please, by all means Survivor contestants, feel free to send her home as soon as possible.

Now, some might consider this sour grapes because we stated yesterday that Jason was now our vested rooting interest, if for no other reason then how maligned he’s been all season. To which we would respond: Please tell me you’re kidding. No, the reason our tone is so disapproving is the manner in which everything was carried out. “Blindsiding” a person who hasn’t had any alliance members for the past week seems mislabeled, we think calling it an overly complicated tedious mess is much more accurate.. Sure, Jason wasn’t expecting it, but he’s a moron. This is the same kid who thought the immunity idol was a stick with a smiley face on it, who thought last week’s vote was about saving him rather than booting Ozzy, who just seems vacant on a general basis. Nice job in booting the most gullible of all the gullible players who’ve ever played this game.

Again, we have no problem with them voting him out, because he was entirely too trustworthy, and too desperate to make any rational decisions so he was just stalling the inevitable. But the way the girls carried it, particularly Natalie, and to a lesser extent Alexis and Parvati, was nauseating. I don’t think we’ve ever seen anyone quite as vile as Natalie on this show, while others have been smug or dislikable, she has both those qualities plus the additive bonus of being undeserving, condescending, misinformed and egotistical all at the same time.

Shouldn’t there be a limit to how many crap metaphors one uses that mean exactly the same thing, and just become more and more convoluted? (This is asked of James as well, who has a real aversion to apples.) And better yet, does Mark Burnett have to keep throwing them on the air? Her interviews probably ate up a solid ten minutes of camera time, and if she were explaining the cure for cancer, then sure, it would be justified. But when every interview is some morbid explanation of how they’re, “picking off the guys one by one….flossing her teeth with his (Jason’s) jugular”, then we probably only need to hear that once.

We have no idea what Amanda was thinking. Of the bottom four left (Amanda being five), she is the only one we considered having the capacity to make a power play against what’s probably the most pitiful “power” alliance we’ve ever seen this late in the game. So either she is content with aligning with the women, thinking even if Cirie and Parvati are lying to her (I really have no idea where there loyalties lie), she should be able to run circles around them in challenges, or we were giving her too much credit. It may be the former, but when the competition is so underwhelming, Parvati and Natalie are actually immunity threats when standing next to her.

So why even chance it? Would it really have been that difficult for either Amanda, Erik or James to tell Jason he is getting played, implore him to use his idol and the four of them can boot Parvati? Now that would have been a blindside. Not going to such great lengths to boot someone with no friends and no brains.

I don’t expect a game plan like this from James or Jason, since history has proven them to be a little too dimwitted to pull it off. Erik seems like an idiot to us, though we don’t really know anything about him. But Amanda? Didn’t she seem at least remotely impressive in China? No? It might be a situation where from the inside looking out, it seems a lot less obvious than from the outside looking in. We really have no idea what the editing left out, but she said she exhausted all options without us seeing her do anything, are supposed to just take her at her word? Because as far as we can tell, neither Erik, James or Amanda did a fucking thing, all content to just “not go home” on that particular day. As if going home four days from now will be anymore rewarding.

We’ll leave it at this, and recap the finer points from last night’s episode next Thursday, but damn it was frustrating to watch when the solution seemed so simple and favorable for anyone we would consider even remotely redeemable.

Office review later.

Wow, that was chock full of Survivor goodness. If anyone took issues with the content of this episode, then you might as well quit watching the show. That was, without a doubt, one of the better Survivor episodes ever, and certainly the best we’ve seen from the past two seasons.

For one, we didn’t like seeing Ozzy go home. He brought an element to the game that I don’t think anyone else has brought. And I don’t necessarily think it’s just the fact he was so good at challenges, but how he was good at them. There was a certain amount of grace that Ozzy won with on a challenge course. Albeit that didn’t translate back to camp or tribal council, but when he was fully invested in winning a challenge, be it a group or individually, he was virtually unbeatable. Consider this paragraph and in memoriam, because from here on out we’re going to be fairly unmerciful.

For the most part, we can understand why he didn’t play the idol, and at this point in the series, when the idol can only be played before the names are read, it is a significant disadvantage to find the thing. Essentially it puts a giant target on your back. Sure, discretion is always an option, but either the one or two people you told eventually tell everyone or everyone deducts that it has come into your possession. Of course if you know exactly when to play it because you are definitively being voted out, then by all means it is a valued asset. But have we ever seen that? When the idol actually worked in the favor of it’s beholder when they must play it before the votes are read?

The only person who has no legitimate excuse is James. He actually had two idols and only three TC’s left in which they were playable, and admitted as much during the same episode that he had cause for concern, but stood PAT nonetheless and was sent home. Ozzy, who also should have realized something was afoot, and seemed to acknowledged as much, also inadvertently admitted to rarely (if ever) bringing the idol with him to TC. I’m sorry, but when you are that comfortable with the idol and have the reputation as a power player and a camp favorite, you are begging to be be ousted early.

At least he conceded as much in his exit speech, even if he was somewhat bitter about it. And really, who can blame him? There are times when bitterness is justifiable, and this is one of those times. I watched an interview on Entertainment Weekly’s website, and he certainly seemed to be in good spirits. So a short-term moment of petulance is definitely understandable.

And while we commend Cirie and Parvati (mostly Cirie) for hatching the plan to have Ozzy blindsided, we don’t particularly like either of them. Cirie has destroyed the good will she built up in her inaugural season and Parvati has always been a detestable bitch (for lack of a better term). Ozzy’s departure makes the game much more unpredictable, but it also cirtually guarantees that someone we don’t like is going to walk away from this experience $1,000,000 richer. And that is never a good feeling in reality television. I’m looking at you, Erik, Amanda and Alexis, to make the eventual memory of this season a fond one.

Speaking of Alexis, the Immunity Challenge was probably our favorite moment in the episode. Just back-to-back-to-back eliminations from Alexis, then Natalie and then James as they both mocked the person whose exit preceded there’s. And we have to confess, we were downright frightened by Alexis’ bitchface. It was like something out of Heathers, only a hundred times more blinding. I feel like this last sentence is a compliment, does it come off that way? Anyone who can do anything so intensely and so perfectly I feel like deserves recognition.

Congrats, Jason, you’re the first to earn the vaunted Grid Effect half-pity vote.

Notice how she has gone from virtual obscurity to round the clock coverage, that’s a good sign for an eventual winner.

And though there is much one can fault Jason for, giving him shit for being gullible enough to believe the rest of Dabu’s guarantee, especially while everyone was snickering during the decision process is somewhat unfair. He recognized he can’t win all the immunities, and and rationally asked everyone to give him their word, mistakenly believing that the majority of people on reality television are even remotely honorable.

As far as dirty moves go in Survivor, we never get self-righteous about it because everyone is just looking to prolong their stay, but for someone outside of all alliances and at the time was obviously next on the chopping block, find some other way to get him out of the game. Or maybe, don’t bow out of the challenge for donuts, or fucking candy. Idiots. Actually, scratch the above, we’re rooting for Jason from here on out.

Anyhow, if the previews are any indicator, it looks like we are heading towards and all girls alliance assuming there isn’t any ill-will towards Parvati for aligning with two different groups, or Amanda for being unaware about the decision to boot Ozzy, etc. But in situations like these, when the majority recognizes that they can stick around for a few more days simply by voting out the minority and the two are as easily discernible as gender lines, then usually everyone stays in tow. Especially in this circumstance, when the male brain trust remaining on the show leaves a lot to be desired.

Back tomorrow with Office recap.

If you watched anything on network last night, we hope you Tivo’d this. Because even though we probably rank this episode right in the middle of everything we’ve seen from Parker and Stone this season, it still beat the shit out of anything we previewed yesterday.

It’s nice to see that during the hiatus South Park didn’t forget how to make non-topical episodes. “Super Fun Time” was alright but nothing to write home about, I was kind of out of the loop on this one since I’ve never experienced the fervent dedication to character of the tourist trap living museums that they were portraying. Still, it was at times hilarious to watch without any prior reference.

One thing South Park has managed to do, more so than any other comedy, is given you what you expect from each character in a certain predicament while managing to avoid predictability and staleness.

Only Leopold could enjoy that field trip.

So last night the class goes onto a field trip to a mock town from 1864 and it is held hostage by German thieves who robbed a Burger King (the constant exchanging of what they stole was arguably the highlight of the episode). So what happens? Stan plays the hero, Kyle plays the concerned friend, Cartman evades the whole thing by dragging Butters and all his passivity and teacher loyalty to an elaborate arcade and Kenny is almost used as an example when the town actors refuse to break character for their captors.

All stay true to character and leave us with a decent episode of television. We prefer the episodes lacking a contemporary take on socio-politics when they reign in such outlandish premises, but after close to 200 episodes we’ll take what we can get, as it is probably increasingly difficult to find new situations for the 4th graders to be in. Again, the episode wasn’t a misguided idea, just executed haphazardly.

As we said earlier we’ve never visited one of those tailer made for elementary school field trip places and been so annoyed or patronized by the employees. But we have been condescended to, probably not to the same degree but any time you’re treated like an idiot it comes off as irritating. So that end of it was relatable. But on the whole, while what was being presented was indeed funny in and of itself, it struck me as something almost unique to Colorado, or wherever Trey Parker and/or Matt Stone grew up.

Some choice moments:

-Butters actually getting angry, only to break down crying.

-Every interrogation by of the town actors.

-Kyle pointing out the mill worker’s digital watch, only to have an SUV roll up behind them.

-The one actor contemplating breaking character and using a telephone, only to have his supervisor pin him against the wall and physically silence him.

-All of the actors at the living museum breaking character at 5pm in a Pavlovian fashion.

Since the previews for next episode are the season premiere, we’re assuming this was the last of this half of the season. It was a decent run but with more clunkers than we’re accustom too., but we’d be lying if we said we weren’t expecting more from them in the second half.

This was mailed in and we apologize for that. We’ll have a Survivor recap later today that will be much more comprehensive.

As is often the case, Wednesday never feels like it is closer to the weekend than Tuesday even though it technically is. And still, your broadcast networks are dead set on making the middle of your week seem as long as humanly possible. After the rundown of what’s available tonight, you’ll hopefully find some other way to spend your free time or be in bed by 8pm.

NBC

8pm: Deal or No Deal
It bears mentioning that this show is on for two hours tonight. Two fucking hours. For whoever is out there watching this broadcast in full, I really hope you’re studying or applying for jobs or receiving or giving oral to your significant other or anything else that simultaneously warrants your attention. Because right now I have this mental image of some guy sitting on the edge of his couch, eagerly awaiting the decision by a contestant, then she dramatically hits the button and he leaps in the air screaming, “He took it! He took the $200,000 grand!” and it will certainly haunt my dreams.

10pm: Law & Order
The original, without any fancy and menacing subtitles. I haven’t verified, but I’m pretty sure at 10pm on NBC, every weeknight short of Thursday is occupied by a Law & Order episode. You know what’s really depressing? Between this and its lead in, this is probably NBC’s “big” ratings night.

ABC

8pm: Wife Swap
A liberal carnivore and a conservative vegan swap places and confused confrontation ensues. The final tally for this episode: four crying jags, three idle death threats, seven humiliated children and about forty unseen horrified extended family members. Collateral damage, we say. Nothing like victimizing yourself, friends and family all for the sake of participating in what’s probably the lowest brow of entertainment imaginable.

9pm: Supernanny
“Jo encounters the strangest sleeping arrangements she’s ever seen.” So says the description for the episode. And really? Sleeping arrangements? This is occupying two hours of pre-taped television? Well, sure you have to move some beds around, potentially some other furniture to create additional space, then determine who will sleep where; but I can’t envision this taking more than twenty, thirty minutes. Forty, tops. But hey, I’m going to go home after work today and possibly watch the NBA playoffs after I mow my sister’s lawn, maybe ABC wants to put that on national television as well.

10pm: Men In Trees
This looks like another coming of age series akin to What About Brian? and October Road, of which ABC is only marginally famous for, so we’re not sure why they keep making them. But if forced to guess, the title is some sort of description of their jobs and also a metaphor for the male characters being regarded as immature for their age. So they all find women to teach them that being an adult means coordinating your living room, or something.

This photo, looks mightily similar to this one for October Road.

FOX

8pm: ‘Til Death
This is the one with Brad Garrett playing the monotone disgruntled husband as opposed to the monotone disgruntled brother. More so than anything we’re surprised this is still on the air. The saving grace at least for tonight’s episode is JB Smoove, who almost single handedly redeemed the most recent Curb season as Leon, is making a guest appearance.

8:30pm: Back To You
Never watched it, but just like its lead in, we are astonished this made it through the strike. Kelsey Grammar plays a news reporter and we imagine it’s as much of a dramedy as a flat out comedy. We really have nothing pithy to say about this.

9pm: American Idol
This neither. Actually, we hope David Archuleta is voted off, that way we don’t recognize any of the contestants names.

CBS

8pm: Big Brother
This was on last night. Is this shit overrunning the network now? Big Brother might be an improvement, but it’s still leaves a lot of room for more.

9pm: Criminal Minds
Oh thank god. that’s the CBS we know and love: Random cop dramas with aging actors and young actresses that no one can distinguish from CSI series’ on the same network.

10pm: CSI: NY
The original CSI, the one we can blame for all of it. Calling it old school would be disingenuous, because it’s like four years old, but its impact is so vast that on most nights we’d rather throw our television off a cliff than watch anything on the networks. Because about 40% of it was either directly or indirectly spawned from this very series (or Law and Order which pre-dates it, but we still maintain that it’s the superior show and didn’t have the negative impact CSI did).

In conclusion, watch South Park tonight.

Like we promised yesterday, here is a brief overview of what’s on the networks tonight from 8-11pm. It’s not for everybody. In fact, it shouldn’t be for anybody unless you’re completely stationary from a car accident or a life saving operation or something along those lines. In other words, under no circumstances should you be watching any of this nonsense. But, to each his own, right? Here are your options.

NBC

8pm: Most Outrageous Moments
Again, I have no idea what the context of this show is. Most outrageous moments on set? In a courthouse? In a home? At an impound lot? In general? We haven’t a fucking clue. But I’m sure it involves someone falling down at some point, probably after being kicked in the groin.

8:30: Saturday Night Live
It is Tuesday, but don’t let those distinctions distract you. It’s SNL, and it’s the best of Chris Farley. Even if it is one of those clip shows in which the majority of the special is former cast members rehashing the wonder that is Chris Farley, as opposed to actual archived sketches, this is still probably the best we’re going to do tonight.

10:00: Law And Order: SVU
It says it is all new, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t seen it a hundred different times. Brace yourselves for forty-two minutes of tough talk, then a tearful confession, followed by an unremorseful prosecutor saying something along the lines of, “If he wanted to stay out of prison, he should have stayed out of the street”.

ABC

8pm: According To Jim
What the fuck? How is this still on the air? This show is mocked even by CBS sitcoms and still gets a primetime slot on ABC? Jesus. Is Dinosaurs following this? Actually no, we’re getting back-to-back episodes of the Jim Belushi vehicle. Dinosaurs was at times charming, According To Jim would never be anything like that.

9pm: Dancing With The Stars
This country is getting dumber by the month. I swear to god if this show took place in the mid-90’s, Dancing With The Stars would be nothing more than jerk-off material for middle schoolers. Just sixteen years later and it is ABC’s golden child, thus explaining why I haven’t watched a show on ABC in fifteen years.

We’re only partially ashamed to admit that if we were twelve years old, we’d totally take advantage of this opportunity provided by ABC.

10pm: Boston Legal
Though fairly popular, it says something about your network when the highlight of your Tuesday night lineup is a spinoff legal drama from a show that debuted 11 years ago. If you watch tonight, take a poll with your friends guessing how far into the show the first double entendre will be used by either James Spader or William Shatner.

FOX

8pm: American Idol
I’ve yet to watch a second of any Idol season since it’s inaugural effort, and still I know who David Archuleta is. Or rather, I know why people know who he is. I couldn’t pick him out of a lineup or anything. It’s only 10pm, but I should really be drinking.

9pm: Hell’s Kitchen
What is FOX’s — and I guess by extension, America’s — obsession with abrasive Europeans? I’ve caught a couple episodes of this, and not that I can prepare a meal to save my life, but I’m sure there are better ways to deal with an undercooked steak than to put someone’s nuts through a cheese grater.

CBS

8pm: NCIS
This is the episode synopsis from the CBS webpage:

“When the dead body of arms dealer La Grenouille surfaces, the NCIS team is put under investigation for his murder by the FBI and Jenny Shepard becomes the prime suspect”

The fact that there isn’t a period at the end of this description is the most memorable thing about it. I’ve never watched the series, but if someone can explain how this diverges from every other episode they’ve ever aired, I’d be happy to listen.

9pm: Big Brother
Unless Ricky Gervais is going to make a surprise appearance, then I want nothing to do with it, and I have nothing to say. Not that I consider it any worse than 90% of the aforementioned shows, but I still have no idea what the goal of the contestants is, but I know it’s a competition of some sort.

10pm: 48 Hours Mystery
Say what you will, but dramatic reenactments are probably the most critically lauded CBS programming that is airing tonight. Here’s hoping they catch whatever sick fuck they’re looking for.

So there are your options. I never thought I’d rather work than watch what the networks are offering up, but there it is. We recommend watching the NBA playoffs, Beauty and The Geek, or animal videos on youtube all as superior alternatives.

We’re posting closer to the PM than usual again, mainly because it’s Monday and we spent all weekend entertaining war bound naval soldiers which entails drinking heavily at several different venues for extended periods of time. So if we had the opportunity to post anything original before the day started, that time has passed with the late arrival to the office and our mounting load of work. Anyhow, all these factors in addition to our general malaise results in some impassioned links to meet my posting quota for the day. We’re pretty sure we’re about two weeks from an Office Space like breakdown.

It’s about time the president finds the time to appear on Deal or No Deal. Howie Mandel’s crowning achievement resembles this country’s approach to international and domestic policy more so than anything born out of a think tank, and it’s time our nation’s leader thanked the producers for the template. Or vice versa.

Hilary Clinton, John Edwards and Barack Obama all made brief appearances in that order on The Colbert Report last Thursday. Edwards was the only one to take a stab at the comedy angle on a comedy show, Clinton and Obama were too busy grandstanding for an eager audience. Still, since Clinton was the first cameo, it gave Colbert the opportunity to mock her after she left. But this is just a great sign, it’s a privilege that all our future leaders, just like our current ones, have the time to dabble in entertainment with everything so hunky-dory in this country and abroad.

From awkward interviews with candidates spouses to awkward cameos from the candidates themselves, Colbert Report resembles Meet The Press nowadays more so than The Daily Show.

Tim Goodman, the resident San Fransiscan always with sage advice for those in television, suggests that HBO open their doors to some of the great storytellers including David Lynch, Spike Lee and Woody Allen. Umm, the first two, sure. They have a history in television, and Spike Lee a history with HBO. But they could offer Woody Allen five billion dollars and all the underage girls in east Asia, and he isn’t doing anything for television.
Has Mr. Goodman seen Annie Hall? Something tells me he resents the medium. Of course, HBO claims to be something beyond television, so maybe Allen will fall for it. We still have high hopes for HBO original productions, but we doubt it ever comes from someone who famously said in response to LA being clean, “That’s because they don’t throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.”

Against our better judgment we saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall last night. It wasn’t terrible or anything, but instead exactly what we expected. On a ten point scale we’d give it a six, and unequivocally the best part of the movie was the generic rock star character, played by Russell Brand. Who, apparently, used to host Big Brother in the UK. This, naturally, ruined our morning. It’s like finding out your childhood baseball hero was ‘roided up.

And finally, a dash of hope for the little guy. Or rather the little, bald, eccentric, millionaire comedian with no mainstream appeal, as David Cross is reportedly dating Amber Tamblyn. Who’s Amber Tamblyn? We have no fucking clue, but a google image search brings up these still shots, so, congratulations, Mr. Cross. It would be a cause for celebration if she didn’t look like she was in high school.

We’ll at least do a nightly preview tomorrow if we can’t find anything worthy of it’s own post.

First, a word or two about last night’s Survivor episode. We concede that Ozzy being out of the picture makes things infinitely more interesting and less predictable. But at the same time, we have no rooting interest at this point, and the fact that Parvati is the ringleader? What kind of dimwits are they casting out there? We are looking forward to the next few weeks, but not because we are going to be happy with anyone winning the million, but because it wouldn’t be completely insufferable if Amanda, Alexis or Erik won. And not necessarily because they deserve it, but because they seem to have some redeeming qualities. We suppose Cirie is the most deserving at this point, but manipulating idiots isn’t something we consider admirable, even if it is effective.

/off topic rant.

Anyway, wow, that was like second season Office with a tinge (or an avalanche) of morbidity to it. In other words, it’s the best episode they’ve done this season (pre and post strike) by a mile. Not to say the season has been an utter disappointment or anything, but rather this episode was that good, it had every little facet that generally makes The Office the best comedy on network television, and the execution was flawless.

It was a nice compliment to last week’s off-beat dinner party episode. As…interesting as we found that to be, we tend to prefer the Office episodes actually set in an office, mainly because that all but guarantees that the supporting cast gets ample screen time, and Andy and Kevin knocked it out of the park. Apparently there is discussion of giving Ed Helms a spin off with Andy, and while we would definitely tune in, as little as two days ago we weren’t sure he could carry a show by his lonesome. Last night’s episode instilled a little confidence in us.

There impassioned mission to get their old parking spots back is the sort of plot that turned us onto the series in the first place. A somewhat trivial dilemma ends up consuming one or two of these characters because these desk humping jobs are soul-sucking cubicles of despair that can make anything seem significant. I mean, if you’re Kevin or Andy, what would you rather be doing with your time, sweating customers and balanced checking accounts or shortening your on-foot commute from the parking lot to the office? Not that we speak from experience or anything.

It even showed us a human side of Kevin, something I’m not sure he’s ever been afforded. Those are the type of dramatic moments I appreciate out of this show, ones that are born out of comedy. It was almost heartbreaking to see him so validated by such a small victory.

Heavy lies the crown.

Speaking of which, most guys I know who watched this episode scoffed at the Jim-Pam fake proposal that all but closed the episode. We found it hilarious, however, as they were mocking the very notion that the two would rush into an engagement, and we’d be willing to bet that 90% of the shippers out there fell for it harder than Pam did. I think it’s all but been established that their relationship won’t ruin the show, since it in and of itself is quite comedic at times, so as long as they can keep the budding relationship funny at least 70% of the time, we don’t have to worry about The Office being “Ross and Rachel”-ized.

The main plot almost took a backseat to the two subplots, in part because we never recall Michael Scott’s dating life being such a force on this series. Though we can agree that the chair model was indeed something to aspire for. From that, the blind date made us uncomfortable, not to the same degree that last week made us squirm, but it really accentuated Michael’s sense of entitlement and laid the groundwork for Michael dating someone he would usually find unacceptable. We might see Pam’s landlady again before the season is over.

Choice quotes:

“I can’t think of anyone I hate enough to write their name down on this card” -Stanley, when Michael ordered his employees to offer up a woman they could each set him up with.

“Andrew Bernard is…the name of me” -Andy, introducing himself to the five fathers.

“Pam? Will you…wait for me, while I tie my shoe” -Jim

“I set Michael up with my landlady because she’s really sweet and sh-, whatever, I just can’t stand Michael like this.” -Pam

Andy: We won’t disappoint you.
Michael: You can’t disappoint me. That’s impossible because I don’t really care.
-Michael dismissing Andy and Kevin’s pleas to do something about the parking.

“One to go.” -Creed, compiling office chairs.

“You are to find me a date, use this, as your template.” -Michael pointing the chair model to everyone’s attention.

-The entire awkward exchange between Phyllis and Michael regarding her unseen friend.

-Kevin’s exposition of the five families.

“What’s her name? Burger King?” -Michael, after one of his employees anonymously gave him the number to a Wendy’s.

Turned out this was a BJ Novak written episode, and he has really perfected his craft over the seasons. We’re definitely giving this top ten episode status, if not top five. We still are partial to the “Pretzel Day” episode, “Casino Night”, and several others we can’t recall immediately. But yes, it’s episodes like this that make us pine for a weekly half hour extension.

Ugh, the above is a Parvati quote, and it pains me to give her credence in any way, even if it comes in the shape of a formality. Needless to say, this episode sparked some promise, then let us down, then got our hopes up even though we knew what was coming wouldn’t be pretty, then the curtain finally closed with one of the last two likable favorites leaving the island (the other being Ozzy).

In case you missed the episode, or haven’t been able (or cared) to ascertain who I am referring to from my previous posts, Eliza was last Thursday’s TC victim. And while we found ourselves with a vested interest in her outcome, we weren’t terribly surprised with the result. She is one of the better challenge performers, for some reason manages to regularly isolate herself from the group and any one she attempted to form an alliance with has either been voted off (Ami, Yau), sent home per medical emergency (Jonathan) or is a complete fucking dipshit (Jason). So yeah, considering all the variables her ouster is long overdue.

The dipshit in question for one reason and one reason only: the fake immunity idol. Now, we give him a little leeway because he is a newbie, has never had any physical contact with any type of non-challenge oriented immunity idol and plausible deniability (i.e. he desperately wanted to believe what he attained was legitimate). But Even though Eliza’s something of a veteran, her reaction to the pathetic smiley faced stick that Ozzy made kind of sold us on Jason’s ineptness. Mainly because it was so emphatic (”It’s a fucking stick…I hope some miracle happens with this Stick at tribal…what are you trying to pull here?)”.

Still what a horrible way to go out. I mean, there probably isn’t a whole helluva lot she could have done to have saved herself, but Jason constantly delaying actually giving her the idol negated any opportunity for her to talk her way out of her predicament. Maybe she could have gotten Jason to go along with Cirie and Amanda to vote out Alexis or aligned with Alexis and Natalie? The game feels so parsed at the moment that her options were vast if actually given a moments notice.

I know people say alcohol can lead to depression and everything, but honestly, what would the suicide rate be if it wasn’t for the liquid spirits?

Speaking of Amanda, the whole thing with Ozzy and Alexis kind of sprung from nowhere, and she seemed as shocked as we were. As in any typical lover’s quarrel, she blamed her competition rather than the reason for it. Still, Ozzy might be playing with one too many hands here. He knows not to trust Parvati, but having Erik, Jason, Amanda and Alexis in your pocket can being just as detrimental as it is beneficial. What if they start some sort of back door alliance and get to talking about whatever you may have said about your strategy, about them personally, etc. We do know one thing, Ozzy finds the scent of an unshowered motivational speaker intoxicating. That was some weird shit.

Kind of in the shadows this episode were the same culprits that have been the past two or three episodes sans Alexis: Natalie (seemingly Alexis’ lapdog), Cirie (low key works much better for her), James (it’s hard to be discrete when you have forty pounds on everyone there) and Erik (he came up with the tribe name and still managed to be virtually forgettable).

We do not know what to expect tonight other than for Jason to be voted out, as he seems to be playing the game independently now. He’s kind of like Omar Little, expect for the lack of confidence he inspires. And maybe a little verbal sparring. Honestly, if we were on this island our main goal would be to instigate scenes, that would take precedent over winning. Because right now, Amanda probably only needs someone talking in her ear to pick a fight with Alexis.

But all in all, a decent merge episode. We suspect now that Eliza is gone Ozzy and James will win the predominate amount of individual immunities. Or, in other words, whichever ones Ozzy doesn’t win because they involve brute strength, James will take home. Jason has proven he might be able to steal a few, but I think last week will prove to be an exception rather than the rule. As far as mental challenges are concerned….umm, maybe Amanda or Alexis can compete for a couple? I don’t know. The dismal competition in this regard probably speaks to why our interest is waning this season.

Back tomorrow with an Office review, maybe some links as well.

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday, we had some personal affairs to attend too. And while for us that is usually a euphemism for “urgently had to go to the clinic”, I can assure you that yesterday was no such instance. But we’ll have two posts today between this and our weekly Survivor recap, so we’ll still get paid roughly the same wages. Or rather, to make it up to the loyal reader.

First Heavy Metal, then Stand and Deliver and now Close Encounters of The Third Kind. Between the movie references and speaking to our countries over-dependence on internet access, I think Trey Parker and Matt Stone now officially represent all of generation X. But that was undoubtedly another great episode, as we tend to believe all Randy-centered episodes are. From the pornography, to the impersonal relationships, to the helplessness and news dependency, the downside of the internet was collectively detailed in an oddly depressing episode.

We’re certain this sing-a-long was a reference to something we’ve seen as well, and if you have any idea, don’t hesitate to enlighten us.

Obviously it was satire, but if there were some kind of internet collapse it would be like a nationwide natural disaster. Banks, businesses would fold, money would disappear, the cost of goods would skyrocket and we’d be left in a more vulnerable state than we already are. So while things like long distance middle school relationships and addictions to pornography are trivial concerns, they are definitely only a tip of the iceberg, and definitely make for much better comedic material than something like a(nother) major US bank folding, which is an almost horrifying prospect at this point.

Highlights from the episode were too vast to count. But all of the melodramatic exchanges (”How will I contact you? You won’t have internet.” and “There is no internet to tell us the internet why there is no internet”), the newscasters leaping up and down over an incoming fax, Kyle’s solution to unplug and plug-in the giant wifi router (and pausing for those obligatory couple extra seconds for no good reason though he’s deemed it otherwise), Randy’s post self-coitus state and the internet porn simulator all made for a great episode.

This is a very different season in that it seems to be even more preachy than usual, but if they close out their twelfth season with the same strength they’ve aired the last three weeks, then we’re confident this show is no longer bottom feeding. We’ve pretty much already come to the conclusion that for as long as South Park is airing new episodes, they won’t ever officially “jump the shark”, but rather fluctuate in quality. So while we’ll have to endure an occasional (or frequent) “Major Boobage“, we’ll be compensated with the just as frequent “Canada on Strike”.

Survivor recap later.

We’re still in the precipice of a hectic work week, so bare with us as we offer up day old news for the first three days of this, the third week of April.

Now desperately seeking an edge to regather its once dominant Nielsen score, Survivor is going HD. Assuming this is the case, the editing team better be working around the clock to verify there are not any exposed body parts.

TV critic Tim Goodman sums up the mentality of NBC comedy fans quite aptly in this op-ed piece. In short, he says we’re comedy elitists who denounce more traditional CBS comedies without giving them a chance. This describes the attitude on Grid Effect almost to a tee, and the odds of us changing up are about 100/1. Call us a snob if you will, but we’ve watched Big Bang Theory and we were mightily unimpressed.

Albert Brooks will play Nancy Botwin’s father-in-law in the fourth season of Weeds. Now, if only they would release the third season DVD’s so I could prepare to watch the fourth season, I’d be all set. But no, Showtime keeps me in suspense, at least with DVD releases and not actual storytelling.

There’s a picture of Mary Louise-Parker’s digitally enhanced naked ass that we wanted to use, but chose this instead. Mainly because violence is so much less-threatening than sex.

Here’s something you don’t see everyday: A reality TV director has been arrested on charges he falsely imprisoned eight women. Apparently he led them into his house with the promise of putting them on a series. A few things about this, first, I thought people that lied about being in showbiz to get women actually had no affiliation with the industry. If you actually have some kind of pull, what’s the point of promising a woman a spot you never plan to give to her, if you can actually put a good word? I suppose you can always be a sick fuck, so maybe that’s the case. Secondly, I think this is another argument for the abolishment of reality television. If it is so mind-numbingly boring for the people involved that they resort to multiple kidnappings, then it’s time to rethink the genre.

A.O. Scott, who we’ve sometimes felt to be pompous, writes a piece about Roger Ebert’s television career that is anything but. Regardless of your opinion of Ebert’s approach to movie reviews, his contribution is undeniable and hopefully a “Better Know a Congressman” segment.

Stephen Colbert is doing his show from Philadelphia all week. We watched last night as Colbert always brings his A-game for the away crowd, and last night was no exception. We recommend tuning in tonight to see an interview with Michelle Obama.

It seems like state employees were really fond of The Wire. Which is strange since that is who the show is usually hammering away on, even with the obvious degree of affection the series portrays the majority of its characters with, they are still perceived as ineffective at best and expendable at worst. But yeah, City Hall in Nashville is still in mourning over its conclusion. I guess that speaks to the caliber of programming that The Wire brought every week.

And finally, Newsday has a column about the difficulties sports-oriented TV series face. We mentioned it yesterday with The Contender, the article focuses mainly on Friday Night Lights, the problems the two shows face might vary, but we think a lot of it is related to sports movies being such a staple in US cinema that diverting from that is unlikely. Sports fans generally have amazingly short attention spans, we think FNL’s ratings failure stems directly from that mindset.

More of the same tomorrow.

As some of my friends from Georgia might say, Hey ya’ll! It is Monday, meaning I, just like you, probably have no vested interest in what I’m currently doing. You show us a person who enjoys Monday mornings, and I’ll show you an office pariah. Also, I suppose we owe you an apology. Last Friday at the end of our Office recap, we promised an additional post later that afternoon that was never delivered.

We’re not going to lie, though we were busy at work, we could have squeezed it in, we just felt like if we used up all the good links for an unnecessary post on Friday, then there would be nothing to write about on Monday. And really, that is just kind of sad. To be honest, I think we’re more deserving of your pity than your ire.

So here are a few links. Se’ll try to unveil something original this week, maybe another story in the life of Jason Katims, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

For everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the themes and direction of The Wire, watch this forum with David Simon and…several community leaders at Harvard. The moderator has all the personality and charisma you’d expect most Harvard faculty to have.

Speaking of personality, Flight of The Conchords are touring the U.S. over the summer. I imagine it will be a similar act to their HBO special. But still, definitely worth the price of admission. We’d rather see this than 90% of legitimate music acts that will be touring at about the same time.

It’s times like this we wished we still smoked weed.

Here is nerve.com’s opinion of the 50 greatest comedy sketches of all time. We’re glad to see that The State was included, along with some Chapelle Show and of course, SNL. Had we compiled our own list it would have been from the same sources, but different material.

Mo Ryan at the Tribune wonders whether or not HBO can make it a whole five months without airing any original series until Fall. While it will be atypical for them, there really isn’t much the network can do about it now. And it’s not like their going to crumble up and die during the hiatus. Besides, who the fuck is currently watching HBO anyways?

The saga of Mark Burnett’s the reality series continues as The Contender has now been canceled by ESPN. Currently shopping for another home, this article states that HBO and Showtime are off the books. I don’t know why this series doesn’t just fade into oblivion like every other series ever made, but it doesn’t appear to be going away any time soon. Someone should make a movie about this continuing struggle to find a home for a reality series that nobody watches. I could see the tagline for it now: “It’s down for the count, but up to the challenge”.

And finally,Craig Ferguson managed to beat Conan O’Brien in ratings without any qualifiers last week. When we were in college it seemed like everyone we didn’t like or respect preferred Ferguson over O’Brien, so this isn’t really a surprise to us. We disliked a lot of people we went to school with. Nothing against Ferguson personally, we just prefer the zaniness of Conan (who made a brilliant appearance at Comedy Central’s “Night of Too Many Stars” yesterday).

That’s it for now, don’t expect anything else today.