Grid Effect

For the second week in a row, we’re most likely going to forgo our promise to (re)write a Thursday night preview that 451 Press swallowed whole two Thursdays ago. At least for now. We might come back with it this afternoon, but no one puts any stock in us actually writing two posts in one day, so why bother? Instead, there is an abundance of deserving news items today, so we’ll opt for that instead. It’s rare we are happy to do these posts.

Alright, this isn’t technically one of them, but Russell Brand is apparently not allowed to use the words “Scientology” or “cunt” when hosting the MTV awards. It would seem Brand’s reality TV and journalism addled mind have either abandoned or were never introduced to the concept of discretion. It’s this crazy notion that when something is said behind closed doors, it is somewhat of an unspoken agreement that it will stay that way. Not that I’m defending MTV, I hope Brand brings them down like Enron. But I doubt we have the same aspirations for his performance.

Is this guy constantly in character, or is he really like this?

NBC now resenting his inexperience and poor performance, is apparently going all Don Draper on Ben Silverman. And now his ass is on the line. See, I told you they would collude to get rid of him. We might have to do an epilogue. But I find it amazing that NBC is under the impression, or at least looking for a scapegoat, and feel it is best to pin it on Silverman. Does anyone who follows this noise really feel he is responsible for their shortcomings?

Some old curmudgeon over at the Huffington Post who has no idea what teenagers want, is telling us what teenagers want. But most importantly, she seems to believe they do not want Gossip Girl, or at least are incapable of relating to it. First of all, who gives a fuck? Appealing to teens is the business of corporations and progressive, negligent parents. Secondly, doesn’t this series with ITunes and everything else draw an enormous audience? I can just about assure our HuffPo correspondent that it isn’t geriatric men tuning into see Blake Lively’s latest escapades.

It seems Miss Wells wants to give teenagers more credit for their intelligence than they deserve. I, however, prefer to look at the numbers. And while this series might not appeal to every single teenager on the face of the planet, it obviously fits a frighteningly large niche that warrants the show’s existence.

Tons of as of now unreported (on this site) Mad Men news to go around as always. Namely, the constant promotion actually worked, as they registered about two million viewers for the season two premiere on Sunday. Well done, people! If you were one of the respectable two million or just considerably old and want to watch the Jackie Kennedy White House tour, here it is, in all its nostalgic glory. Last but not least, here is Charlie Rose interviewing Jon Hamm (Don/Dick), John Slattery (Roger Sterling) and Mathew Weiner (creator). Its not exactly a barrel of laughs, but interesting none the less.

And finally, HBO has greenlit a(nother) series from Mark Wahlberg entitled, How To Make It In America. If his answer goes beyond “have rock hard abs” then we’re not going to be able to take it seriously. Because if we recall correctly, Wahlberg got his start as a poor man’s Vanilla Ice who danced around in his underwear to the enjoyment of millions of teenage girls. He’s basically the male equivalent of Britney Spears with a little less initial success, and a little more determination and focus.*

*= It’s a fictional series, but I find it ironic all the same.

Maybe back with a preview later.

So, uh, that was some mini-episode of Rescue Me last night, huh? Am I right? I mean, who doesn’t love tuning into a five minute episode expecting comedy and getting a wordless dream sequence? In all honesty though, we’re not angry or anything about it. Its not like we paid for this or had any great expectations. For the most part we’ve been pleasantly surprised with what has come out of these mini-episodes. At this point it is just sad how badly Dennis Leary pines to be David Chase.

The comparisons have always been there and these taut psychologically imperative dream sequences simply beg the comparison. The difference between a Chase dream sequence and a Leary dream sequence, appears to be that in a Chase dream sequence, the dream doesn’t enable the creator of the series to dry hump Callie Thorne. That, and it has all the subtlety and nuance of a cannonball to the gut. We’re not trying to compare every show we watch to The Sopranos, which is arguably the greatest of its kind. But what the hell was that last shot after he is handed the water? Were we supposed to think that all of this really happened? Dennis Leary is asking for the mockery in our opinion.

Here’s a few links for your hump day. Enjoy.

We’ve been talking Real World around here as of late. A little more than usual, at least. So it seems fitting that Puck from the San Fran season is now wanted by the police. Something to do with lesbians and siring their children. I don’t know. But the fact Puck is now dodging law enforcement isn’t exactly shocking. The only shocking thing is that it took so long.

When you fall from grace, what exactly do you fall into? Whatever it is, that's what Puck is falling from.

John Krasinski, better known as Jim Halpert from The Office, shot the opening scene for this season. I’m not really sure why that is news, exactly. It seems like any time an actor combs his/her own hair it makes headlines. Anyhow, the cast was at comic-con, because I imagine Dwight Schrute is the type of guy who would attend such a convention. Why everyone else is there? Probably to generate a larger audience at an event that has nothing to do with their product.

And finally, some news that will make you question the very existence of this nation-state: Ashley Dupre has been offered a $2 million television deal by some scumbag producer. Apparently she is actually considering the merits of this offer, as in they don’t want it to be too lowbrow. If you have since forgotten who Ashley Dupre is, she is the call-girl at the helm of the Elliot Spitzer downfall. I’m not saying she is responsible for his professional collapse (if it wasn’t her, it would have been someone else, though we doubt she realizes that), but there should be a law that once you are fucking people for cash exchanges, you are not allowed to turn down multi-million dollar television offers.

Why wouldn’t you cash in? Especially when it’s something tangible and secure that doesn’t require you to fuck strange men. Jesus. I don’t think there has ever been a medium with as high of a ceiling and as low of a basement as television. One network offers you Mad Men, another just a few clicks away offers you courtesan hosted talk shows. A testament to the benefits of capitalism, I guess.

Maybe it is because this episode was on the heels of such a great Sunday night of television, but this felt like a disappointment from top to bottom. That’s no excuse really, every episode they have from here on out will follow at least Mad Men and for another month Generation Kill as well, so Jenji and her gang of peaceniks better get used to it.

Thematically it was alright. Doug and Andy took the next step in their coyote business. Nancy managed to finagle her way back into selling weed again. Mainly wholesale to all her former minions back in majestic. But there was just one too many failed comedy bits that consisted of nothing more than Celia or Nancy complaining about something. And it was always something petty, like a personal bathroom or having to actually parent.

So, was it always the same Olsen twin last season or did the switch them in and out like they did on "Full House"?

The story structure with Nancy was just bad, and something that was resolved too quickly. It was Entourage for the most part. And I imagine the people who created and who watch this series can’t fucking stand Entourage. Nancy needs money for her own bathroom, she goes to her immediate superior, he says no. She goes to his superior, he spanks her repeatedly out of aggravation, then at the end of the episode mails her 300 pounds of marijuana. See? It all works out. And in only an episode’s time.

The Silas storyline is just dull, basically. People who watch and are ardent defenders of this series realize the entire three and a half seasons has taken place over the course of maybe three months, right? And Silas has gone from sleeping with a deaf high school girl to a hot mom and looking like Mathew McConaughey in those three months? I just don’t understand the rush to turn him from a semi-bashful fuck-up into the James Bond of growers in that span of time. It would actually be more plausible if they threw a DeLorean into the mix and had the Botwin’s travel into the future.

The other half of the Botwin brothers isn’t adjusting so smoothly, however. And nor should he, as Shane has always been a little disturbed. And three months from the start date, he should still be at least a little eccentric. I just don’t know what’s being accomplished by having him beat off to archived photos of his mother. I guess it is funny, in an unsubtle Freudian way. But we would like to see some residual effect from him seeing his dead father at the end of the third season. Maybe him masturbating to his mom is part of that? I don’t know, this whole topic feels inappropriate. Even for pay cable.

Anyhow, it seems like the redeemable episodes are fewer and further between, and if you look at this grouping system, “Yes I Can” definitively falls into group 2. Still, we are willing to ride out the rest of this season to see where it takes us and if there is a larger narrative that warrants attention. But right now, this show is on notice.

We’ll try to come back with some links later today, the way work is piling up we doubt that happens though.

“Screwby” is where David Simon and Ed Burns apparently thought it would be appropriate to ratchet up the tragedy, because it took on a whole new level last night. This is where usually it gets tricky to write about without inadvertently stepping on any toes, but the tone of this series makes it as such that you can sympathize with the position many of the soldiers are put in, even if they are themselves at least partly responsible for some pretty horrific shit. Read about parts 1 & 2 here.

That isn’t to say there wasn’t anything to feel good about in the installment. Fick, Iceman, Person and several of the peripheral figures all seem to have their heads on straight and a moral compass that at the point of a dying child (who is dying as a result of direct orders) is unwavering. Godfather seems to be the only superior who has even an iota of sense. even though he is often cold-hearted and isn’t infallible. He demonstrated plenty of ignorance himself by abandoning the utility truck.

But that is what makes this miniseries so intriguing and different from everything else we’ve seen depicting this war: virtually everyone has the capacity for competence and incompetence, for remorse and for celebration. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, most notably Captain America on one end of the spectrum and Iceman and Fick on the other. Shit, even Encino Man, as incompetent as he is, stood with his fellow soldiers in silent protest of Godfather’s initial decision to not provide medical attention for the kid that Trombley shot.

With people like Captain America, it's best you always have that helmet on.

One thing I wasn’t clear on, nor am I certain I was supposed to be clear on it, was if Trombley realized he was shooting at civilians, if he thought he was shooting at enemy combatants or just camels. Either way, his virtual non-reaction to his victims ordeal was chilling, but probably how he has been trained to carry such weight. Even in his awareness that his itchy trigger-finger might very well cost Iceman his career, he seemed more concerned with how his actions may have effected his overly-understanding commander and less so with the welfare of the child he had just gunned down. Never the less, seeing that side was at least somewhat refreshing.

It has been said by many outlets that Trombley is essentially where the term “Generation Kill” is derived from. He represents a sort of desensitization to violence and mayhem that is induced heavily by Grand Theft Auto, rap music, etc.  Generally speaking just an over-exposure to violence via all the outlets that have been available to a recently weened youngster like himself, basically since he was able to develop independent thought.

But that isn’t the sole cause of his behavior. Part of it is immaturity, he is constantly harangued for being the least experienced member of the Bravo team. Part of it is his limited training, and part of it is his obviously fucked up dad. He often comes off as psychotic, and sometimes it is deservedly so. But naivete and a lack of guidance seem just as critical to his underdevelopment.

There is so much to cover in these episodes and I have neither the time nor the attention to detail to cover it all in one post with no notes on one viewing. I haven’t even touched on how close Encino Man came to bombing US soldiers or his shoot-up of several abandoned cars and almost of civilian huts. Captain America’s behavior is petty at best and deplorable at worst.

We’re pretty much at the point where we need to read the book to see how much (if any) Simon embellished, because the indifference and/or incompetence with superior officers is too eerily similar to upper and middle management. He has to be taking some liberties with the material, and at this point we are almost he is.

Now that, my friends, was a television night. Not the type where we sit down and watch any random show because we’re lazy and have nothing better to do. But the type that we actually waited in anticipation for all day (week) and it paid off tremendously.

We’ll post our Generation Kill review/recap later this afternoon, so just a few quick words about Mad Men. All we can say is that it lived up to all the expectations that we had placed upon it. The stylization was virtually identical to the first season, with a little less music and a truckload of Sopreano-isms, we’ll call them.

From the opening montage (which brilliantly used “Let’s Twist Again” as a callback to the usage of “Lets Do The Twist” in season one, an indicator of the year we’re in, and a shout out t all the fans who enjoyed the series so immensely last summer) that reminded us of the “Seven Souls” montage from season six, to the color palette, to Don Draper made a young kid take off his hat in an elevator (which Tony did while eating out with Ari); lets just say that if you didn’t watch the first season or have any idea who was involved behind the camera, but were an avid fan of The Sopranos, then you would probably notice the influence.

Someone's thrilled to finally lose the fat suit.

We don’t want to delve too much into plot, but all the inter-office friction (Don-Duck, Peggy-Joan, Pete-everybody) is setting up for a great storyline and thematic season. Anyhow, we’ll try to make this the last we say about it before Friday’s recap. Here are a few morning links for you while we try to collect our thoughts.

In a stunning move that wouldn’t shock anyone with a pulse or the simplest understanding of Nielsen ratings, HBO has canceled Tell Me You Love Me. Maybe I’m underwhelmed because I was under the assumption it had been canceled already, but this is truly the sign of a rebound for the network. Just get fucking rid of all the self-important melodrama of upper-mddle class white folks and bring us something people who aren’t going through divorces can appreciate.

It seems CBS has rearranged their scheduling, switching America’s Greatest Dog with the Big Brother eviction show. Jesus. Just the fact that they have this as an option, and is something that at least one other person spent a lot of time contemplating is extremely depressing. Can you imagine having a career extolling the virtues of either of these shows, in which you have to consider their respective strengths, who they appeal to and which is the preferred night to air each show on seems like a sign of the apocalypse.

Dexter is apparently only entering its third season, which is amazing because I’m pretty sure I’ve been hearing about how genius this show is for six or seven years now. But supposedly this season is about emotional development. Why do people watch this series like he is a normal person. When we watched The Sopranos or even The Wire, the murderers and thugs aren’t portrayed as noble dignitaries, nor does the majority of the audience interpret them as such. But for whatever reason, everyone watches Dexter and actively roots for his well-being. I’ve only seen a few episodes of the series, but isn’t he just reigning in his psychopathic tendencies and saving them for supposed criminals who’ve managed to escape justice? And isn’t this only the case because his dad taught him how to do this? Whatever. Maybe I’m biased because I don’t want to ante-up for Showtime.

Leonardo DiCaprio, probably as influential and powerful actor as there is in Hollywood, wants to make a Twilight Zone movie. Let’s see, it is late July…odds are this thing will be shooting in October.

And finally, Hard Knocks began filming last week and will debut on August 6th. This season is at the Cowboys mini-camp, which should be an upgrade from the dreadful Kansas City season of 2007. Anyhow, I believe the 6th is a Wednesday. Meaning for at least a couple weeks we’ll have a different series to write about on Monday (Generation Kill), Tuesday (Weeds), Wednesday (Rescue Me mini-episodes, but still), Thursday (Hard Knocks) and Friday (Mad Men). Yes, it’s good to be back.

Generation Kill recap later today.

According to some poll via the BBC, of all the vile reality television personalities, Simon Cowell is the most heinous. Which is saying something, but I’m pretty certain a list with this same premise was recently built, but it didn’t have song and dance judges included in the field. Which brings me to the question, what exactly qualifies as “reality television”? Is it just unscripted? The entertainers are either unpaid or competing for a prize? Because as far as we can tell, American Idol is nothing more than a glorified talent show.

There is little interaction between the contestants, there isn’t any sort of day-to-day portrayal of how anyone lives, and even if there was, it would have a negligible impact on the final result.  Basically it is people singing pop songs, then lowly observers casting votes as to whom they preferred.  As far as I can tell, that’s more of a game show than a reality show.

I suppose you could make the same claim about Survivor, in that they are competing for a grand prize and no one would be there otherwise. One, I think the second point is debatable. And two, the fact that they are interacting and amongst the same group of strangers for thirty-nine days and are forced to deal with all the baggage that comes along with that, makes it a reality series. They’re basically coworkers with similar goals, just on a limited time table.

If you didn't know, this woman was obviously on Wife Swap

But American Idol earns the title because, as far as I can tell, it is devoid of actors or professional entertainers (sans the judges and host). Which is an insanely vague qualifier. What exactly makes American Idol reality television and not Jeopardy? The fact it comes in seasons? Its mass appeal or it’s on in prime time? None of these reasons exactly scream “reality” to me.

Basically it’s a genre that it seems everyone has a different definition for. If you were to ask us, it must include the following guidelines:

-Daily and virtually unavoidable interaction between contestants/participants.

-Unscripted depiction of events over a series of time. This can include competitive events for a monetary or emotional reward.

-Limited sustenance and an abundance of alcohol so everyone is completely miserable.

-Borderline or full blown mentally unstable participants that make up at least 35% of the cast.

-A corporate commitment to making its show’s voluntary cast look as foolish as possible.

Throw these five components together, add some cameras, a satellite or cable feed and whatnot, and baby, you’ve got yourself a reality series goin’!

We might be back with something else before the day is through. If not, we’ll be back on Monday with a Generation Kill review. Also, Mad Men’s second season debuts on Sunday night at 10pm est. We’ll be par for the course with dramatic series once again, reviewing each episode the week day before the following episode airs, so expect that a week from today.

We were going to preview tonight’s network options after failing to come through on yesterday;s promise. But after skimming the websites we realized the last time we did this was also a Friday night, and not much has changed with the seasons. So we’re going to resort to more links throughout the day. It’s not the classiest move, but coming to this site for class is like going to Europe for baseball, so that can hardly be pinned on us.

If you’ve watched a season of The Real World in the past five years, then you know that the natives in whichever city it takes place in, don’t tend to take kindly to strangers with enormous camera crews following them around. Normally I would agree with some civil discourse about what an inconvenience they’re making the city, but it usually isn’t carried out like that. It’s usually some drunken meatheads out at a bar who want to “mark their territory” so to speak by whaling on one of the housemates, usually the whiter and preppier he looks, the more likely he is to be on the business end of several drunken, curled up fists.

Scenes like this should be avoided, but this show shouldn't exist anymore, either. See, the world's full of surprises!

Anyhow, I bring this up because the new season is set in Brooklyn (you only call it New York if it is set in Manhattan, apparently), and they are giving the new cast ample notice that their presence is unwanted. Thing is though, from my past experiences in Brooklyn, there isn’t that many ex-frat boys that are going to be physically confrontational. Its not like going to Austin or Chicago or New Orleans, so while the cast may be more unwelcomed there than anywhere else to date, the token undersized white guy might not get knocked on his ass. Assuming he doesn’t venture over to Manhattan. Progress? Yeah, I’d say so. All you have to do to keep my generation in line is to keep them all away from each other.

Speaking of reality television, Russell Brand will be hosting the VMA’s this year. Some of this antics this guy has pulled border on unprofessional and inappropriate, even for this site. But we have to give credit where credit is due, he was, in a landslide, the best thing about Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It seems like a suitable choice, even if a little forced, but while he was best known for his Big Brother “work”, the man is well-versed, even if he is imperfect.

In short, we admire the creativity of the hire. He should certainly do a better job than Mike Meyers. Who judging by his performance at the movie awards, clearly doesn’t feel like he even needs to try anymore. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, it is really hard to be funny for a long period of time.

Back with something equally succinct later.

Absolutely nothing on television last night, we promised a nightly preview on Sunday for today, but don’t have time for it right now, maybe later this afternoon. Anyhow, here are some links.

I can’t imagine The Wire is heavily promoted on the other side of the pond, but for everyone enamored with the sophistication of Brits, season five debuted over there to a paltry 38,000 viewers. See, just like Americans, Europeans would probably rather watch Wipeout. I don’t know what the correct proportionality would be, but it at least scored around a Nielsen rating of one here in the states, so at least Americans can at least drop whatever intellectual inferiority complex they might have had with our ally, or at least when it comes to television. We’re still collectively retarded. Much like every shortcoming in Europe, I’m somehow pinning this one on soccer hooliganism.

Alright, if you didn’t see Mad Men when it originally aired, or download it off Itunes or Bit Torrent, or catch the marathon this past Sunday, or see any of the reruns in between the original run and the marathon, or haven’t watched it on demand; you can now watch the season one finale on their website. What a monumental service they’re providing. Don’t get me wrong, my nuts are tingling with the thought of Sunday’s season two premiere. But if they don’t open to at least 5 million viewers, then all this promotion has been a total fucking waste. $25 million. Does anyone know how many pilots you can produce for that kind of scratch? But no, Mr. Weiner needs a painted subway cart to advertise his critically acclaimed series that was tailor made for a small but loyal demographic in the first place.

The creator or whatever of ER intends to ask George Clooney to return for a cameo, and doubts the film star will agree but isn’t deterred. I’m guessing John Wells was the affable nerd who wanted to date the head cheerleader, and asked her out after telling everyone else he was going to ask her out but she’ll probably say no but then she says yes out of a sense of obligation to not appear like a total bitch to the rest of her peers. I’m on to you, John Wells.

You want to catch this hunk of man meat Mr. Wells? You're going to have to drop the pity party.

Grey’s Anatomy consulted GLAAD for how to handle an upcoming storyline about a lesbian couple. I understand this is as much a publicity stunt as anything to compensate for the whole Isiah Washington thing, but wouldn’t the advice just be to not make them one-dimensional? Like, don’t gay people ever get tired of watching gay and lesbian characters that have nothing to offer aside from commentary about proclivities for fucking people of the same gender? Is creating an Omar Little or a Kima Greggs, gay characters who just happen to be gay all that difficult?

And finally, Joss Whedon’s new series was all the rage at the critics press tour this year. It is called Dollhouse, and will serve as a prequel to something. I don’t know, I’m not reading that full interview. I’ve never seen Firefly (but hear Christina Hendricks is in it, and since we would be entertained watching her do manual labor, we can certainly make room for a series she is in) so I can’t comment on it. I’ve seen a few episodes of Buffy — because my roommate’s girlfriend junior year was obsessed with the show, and he was a total pussy, so she always ended up watching it at our place — and fucking loathed it.

Maybe I went into the show with a preset notion to hate it because I couldn’t stand my roommates girlfriend, but the production on it required a bigger budget than whatever network was responsible for financing the series. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be so superficial. But the fight scenes looked like something out of Gymkata, and that was a bit distracting. But hey, you want to watch Dollhouse? Be my guest. But don’t come crying to me the first time you see a woman holding a knife and a head and bodiless foot flashes onto the screen and kicks the knife away.

Back with a preview of tonight’s airings.

We’ll get to a few links in a moment. We have to. Because really, what’s this website without recycled news items? It doesn’t exist, really. But just a few quick words about the Rescue Me mini-episode (I almost typed “minisode” without the quotations, imagine my embarrassment). It had some funny context and it’s always enjoyable to see Mike mocked for his Forrest Gump like intelligence, but it was fairly predictable what was going to happen after Mike managed to spell “plethora” correctly.

There’s really nothing else to say about this five minute installment of Rescue Me. It certainly paled in comparison to last week’s. But that was masterful. So, if that is the litmus test, I’m afraid all of these will qualify as failures from here on out. Sorry, Tolan and Leary, you should have set the bar lower so early in your mini-episode run.

Onto some links:

Ebert and Roeper have replacements and I’ve never heard of them before, nor am I even certain they’re professional critics. But here is an unmerciful assessment of the two new hosts. I get the impression that the it will resemble an entertainment news show in the same vein as Entertainment News or Access Hollywood more so than anything related to film criticism. And while it’s a pity, come late August I’ll no longer be forced to stay up until 1am on Sunday nights to watch movie reviews. Silver lining, I suppose. Anyhow, If these two do end up doing film reviews together a la Ebert and Roeper, this will probably end with me saying I’d rather watch trailers for a half hour.

I hate commenting on gossip, but In probably the most random Hollywood friendship or whatever documented in the history of that fucking town, Jon Hamm is informed enough on the status of Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman to doll out updates to tabloids. This is kind of like finding out your girlfriend is sleeping with a midget, only more unexpected. In other news, Kathy Bates is now dating the kid from Dick Tracy.

Elizabeth Berkley, most noted for her roles in Showgirls and as Jesse “I’m off my rocker on caffeine pills” Spano on Saved By The Bell; has been cast into the final season of The L Word. Apparently they haven’t seen her work or they’re looking for the worst actress possible so it is easier to denigrate the straight woman. Whatever, if behooves me to even try to understand this show.

Rosie Perez, long noted for her stand against lowbrow film and television, has accepted a role on Lipstick Jungle. Which makes sense, because it’s so universally recognized as the second coming of Shakespeare. We’ll let it slide because she’s also in the upcoming Pineapple Express.

So apparently NBC and Greg Daniels are torn as to whether they should do an Office spin-off, create a series specifically for Amy Poehler, both, or turn the two ideas into one. The latter seems the most practical, but not for us, only for people who find Amy Poehler funny, which in my non-scientific observations is strictly women ages 16-35. If nothing else, that’s a loyal TV demographic.

And finally, Jay Leno is done next memorial day as host of The Tonight Show, we imagine Conan O’Brien will replace him shortly thereafter. Meanwhile, Jimmy Fallon will start in early Spring of 2009. Um, we’re not really sure what to make of any of this, but in short: NBC is replacing hack, one-liner specialist and horrid interviewer Jay Leno, with an underachieving comedic actor in Jimmy Fallon, who has no experience in this field.  Bang up job, NBC. Now Steve Schrippa is going to be out of a job in less than a year.

We’re going to skip the links for a minute (maybe get back to them later today) because we found access to Showtime and managed to watch last night’s Weeds during lunch. And while it wasn’t exactly a laugh riot or even all that dramatic, there were some decent setups that could payoff.

First off, it seems worth noting that these last three episodes have been light years better than the first three, and we attribute basically all of the credit to Kevin Nealon. Since he fled Majestic and ended up in Ren-Mar, we’ve had more scenes with Andy and more familial interaction. Which is strange, since he isn’t part of the family. But an increase of Justin Kirk has always been a good thing for this show, and it looks like we’re going to get more of him and Kevin on screen together. These two are my Jim and Pam for college girls who watch The Office.

I’ve never heard the term coyote applied to someone who assists illegal immigrants in sneaking across the border, but the way they threw it around, something about it had me cracking up. Like it was the most natural and obvious term that could ever be established for someone in that line of work. By far and away the best scenes in this episode were the two of them leering at women on a sidewalk curb, and the insanity that was happening at the beach with all the illegals hiding in the water. Particularly the latter. The phrase “Mermex” is something that will be with us for a long time, though it will never be put to good use here in Ohio.

We have a feeling Dean is gone for good this time. So long Dean, just another casting casualty on a long list for this show. Nothing personal, I'm sure. Your writers are just confused.

We also wonder if Maria/Mermex will become a guest character, because that was a lot of introduction for a one minute cameo. We kind of hope she won’t be, because Doug Wilson without a relationship brings much more humor to the character. Still, we’re pretty certain it’s inevitable.

As for Nancy’s story with the smuggle tunnel, we’re fairly blase about. Though it’s a completely different setting and an alteration on her usual trade (all drugs and illegal immigrants as opposed to just marijuana), it just feels redundant. For instance, the criminal overlord running for mayor elects not to kill or reprimand her in any way because…well, we really couldn’t tell. It looked like he was in a hurry and he commented on her brown eyes, so complete stroke of fortune and aesthetics got her out of trouble once again.

On the Hodes front, we actually felt bad for Dean. Who seems entirely too attached to his daughter. We couldn’t help but think that Celia was only taking her back to spite him, and since that was what Isabelle wanted it didn’t seem that sinister. Revolving around that whole storyline was the concept that it was completely unacceptable for a child to live in either Detroit, New York or St. Louis. While none of these cities would qualify as optimal living conditions for most anyone, the only thing really unlivable about them is the weather, and maybe that is the aversion. I know the insinuation was the they all have a relatively high crime rate, but there are plenty of children who live there peacefully as well. Especially lawyers kids.

We don’t really have anything to add about the Silas-hot mom setup, other than it’s been done about 10,000 times since that wretched comedy American Pie made it fashionable. The only twist they could add would be to have Andy & Doug get jealous, then it would sort of be like a Riggins brothers quarrel.

While are hopes are up for future episodes, this left little to write home about. We’ll be back next week with a hopefully glowing recap. Back with more links later today.

There is a slew of worthwhile news items on the docket today, so we’re going to try and divvy them up into two of three posts. Anything less would just be undignified.

If you want to know the premise for any and every plot in FNL’s third season, then here’s your type of column. I’ve always wondered why the broadcast network series are generally so loose lipped about the developments of future seasons while the cable series’ basically have a death warning should any cast or crew member reveal anything to anyone. Given, nothing is given away other than where the upcoming season will begin, but it’s still so much information.

We always imagined you were a plot device, sorry to see you go, Lyla's chaste boyfriend.

Ever wondered how Weeds decided to blow up the entire series and take it south? I kind of assumed that after the third season it was evident they were out of ideas, so they could have taken it to Antarctica for all I cared, so long as they tried something different. But apparently there was greater incentive to switch gears. Hmm, color me surprised.

The Wire, Mad Men and 30 Rock took home the top prizes at the Critics Choice Awards. See, these winners are quite similar to the Emmy nominations, but no one will ever mention it, because the pink elephant in the room is the absence of The Wire with the Emmy’s. But still: progress.

Lorne Michaels is now blaming the media’s love affair for why his Barack Obama skits are so noticeably unfunny. Um, there are always politicians that the media fawns over, it has never been a problem in the past. Part of SNL’s job is to make him mockable, not wait for the media or the politician himself to beat you to the punch. Good lord, what ever happened to SNL?

And finally, if you’re into this sort of thing, Paul Lieberstein, writer and actor who plays Toby on The Office, married a college professor over this past week. Apparently no one gave Paul the memo that when you are doing something professionally in Hollywood, you are supposed to marry the student and not the professor.

That’s all we have the energy for at the moment, back with more links shortly.

Sorry this is later than expected, but we’re taking on an entirely new detail at work in addition to what we’re already responsible for. If you want to read part one’s recap, you can do so here. This episode is entitled, “The Cradle of Civilization”.

I think it is safe to say that much like The Wire, Generation Kill is the greatest thing ever made in the history of the world. This is as apolitical of a depiction you will ever see detailing the specifics of a war, especially one that is still ongoing. While our confusion as who some of the members of Alpha and other channels of this mission are, we know who we like and we know who we aren’t supposed to like. And rest assured, we’re willing to bet that Captain America wasn’t involved with production all that much.

Having never read the book, I can only imagine what we saw last night was a tip of the iceberg. It seems like the further they get into Baghdad, more and more liberties are taken as to what constitutes a viable threat and what doesn’t. The situation is so murky that trying to find right and wrong, while occasionally obvious, doesn’t have a clear cut definition. Essentially, it’s The Wire in the middle east.

Here's the book's cover, in case anyone wants to bother reading the secondary source.

When the closing line of an episode is (paraphrasing), “These officers are going to be the death of us”, it’s safe to assume that David Simon looks at the rank and file system in the military similar to that of a city police department. Or at least Baltimore’s. Person does everything that McNulty would do sans out and out defy his commanding officers (save for an untucked shirt). And the only reason for that is probably due to the fact that lives would be in imminent danger if he did, as it seems like much of their safety hinges on communication, not self-righteousness. McNulty was never in any crossfire.

Speaking of our driver, James Ransone is no longer synonymous with Ziggy Sobotka. For such an often obnoxious character he played on The Wire, he has really shown some versatility portraying Ray Person. Never did I think chiming in to a David SImon miniseries about the invasion of a country would have so many quality comedic scenes, namely the tank realization (as we’ll call it) and the explanation as to why he (women), Iceman (cheap ads) and Trombley (blood lust) all signed up for the marines. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in weeks as when Person expounded (paraphrasing), “Iceman here joined because of the commercial with the guy in dressed blues slaying the dragon. Man, that commercial got so many people…Maybe you should have invaded Iraq in dressed blues and a sword”.

Between him and Alexander Skarsgard as Iceman, we might see not only a devastating and brilliant portrayal of the opening days of the Iraq war, but also two careers born out of Simon’s and Wright’s work. Iceman’s character is much more subdued. Partly because he has a naturally calm demeanor (hence the nickname), and partly because he isn’t hopped up on Ripped Fuel for the entire run. Colbert’s knowledge of the situation and the people he’s experiencing it with, one would think he would be a little more rattled. But no, the alias is well deserved. And Skarsgard plays it flawlessly. Next to Fick, he’s probably the most impressive in this bunch.

Rudy Reyes continues to carry his screentime, and I’m not sure if its his familiarity with the subject matter, the fact that he is playing himself, natural talent or a culmination of all three, but his return from taking out the RPG team stands as the most chilling thing we’ve seen so far. Their first encounter with enemy combatants that the entire platoon has been waiting for, he is directly involved and sees everything first hand, and while he takes a degree of pride in his work, he is noticeably shaken but still manages to conceal it well. We would never last a day in these people’s shoes, because if we had watched that guy’s head explode like a Gallagher watermelon all over the place, we’d be undoubtedly horrified.

Other notes:

-We’ll be honest, we were so mesmerized with the setting and the tone of his voice and every other detail surrounding Godfather’s soliloquy that we kinda sorta completely missed what he said. Anyone want to help a DVR-less friend out?

-We have a feeling that the intimate setting of the hummer contributed directly to the added tension during the ambush, because the danger and vulnerability (particularly of the turret gunners) was palpable. We might not make it through the end of this if every battle scene is so…vivid.

-Iceman’s backstory with his friend and ex-fiance is yet another reason we are content being so universally reviled by women. We watched Jarhead last night and honest to god, is there a serviceman in the armed forces who hasn’t been completely fucked over by a girlfriend or wife?

It seems worth noting that every marine from every walk of life is attesting to the authenticity of this piece. At this point, it seems like anyone with a level head could benefit from taking this miniseries in. Because if such a limited number of Americans are going to be tangibly effected by the consequences and accomplishments of our foreign policy, and obviously a very limited number of us ever read, then we can at least, on a superficial level, introduce ourselves to the multiple intricacies of a battlefield via a TV show.

We showed up an hour late to work today and are still groggy as all hell, so we’ll leave the Generation Kill recap to this afternoon’s work. On the other hand Showtime, who now fancy themselves the new HBO, are all over the newswire, so here’s a few updates from a network that no one has.

Edie Falco has a new series coming out called Nurse Jackie. It isn’t medically focused, and my guess is it isn’t mob focused either, so people are going to be pretty confused. Supposedly she plays a women with a painkiller addiction. I can already see the bevy of Rush Limbaugh jokes thrown in to the script.

Try as she might, we don't ever see her shaking Carmela Soprano us...posting this picture of her with James Gandolfini probably doesn't help matters.

Weeds has been renewed for two more seasons, and we can’t decide if this is good or bad. This fourth season is showing promise after the train wreck that was the third, but it’s still rarely generates more than a “meh” from us after an episode. We’ll stay positive and say this is a good thing because it gives everyone involved a chance to right the ship.

Also renewed for two more seasons? Secret Diary of a Call Girl (can be found in above links). We’ve watched maybe twenty seconds of this, but with the grainy seemingly outdated camera they use, this is how we always imagined 70’s soft core porn looked. We have no idea why they cast the people they did or use the settings and ambiance they do on this series, but hey, people seem to enjoy it. Besides, at this point Showtime could renew or air anything and some hump critic somewhere is going to declare it “genius”, so why not exploit that?

Apparently The L Word is coming to an end, and we couldn’t be more indifferent. We understand it’s about a gang of homosexual women who come from another planet and set out to rule Earth, so it certainly has a niche.  But the good news for at least one cast member is the showrunner and network is considering a spin-off. Because everything is spun-off these days.

And finally, Showtime is picking up a new series entitled Lock and Load , that will be set in a gun shop. The store is located in Englewood, Colorado and will be primarily aired through hidden cameras. Which, while we like this idea, seems a bit exploitive. Not necessarily to the imbeciles who come in and cause some sort of redneck scene, but to the gun culture in general. They’re obviously going to take the most outrageous moments and put them on air, making everyone involved with gun ownership look just as insane. When the truth is, you could put hidden cameras on a cookie stand for twenty-four hours and you would be privy to a fair amount of abnormal shit as well.

Back with some news or Generation Kill recap later.

Well, that was fucking annoying. We had posted some links on Friday and a Thursday night network preview, and with the higher ups switching to a new server, it somehow managed to delete both posts. This is particularly annoying for the Thursday post, mainly because it was exceptionally funny and it is a timely thing. Meaning it was written for specific date and times that can’t be replicated.

Fuck it, we’ll just write the same exact thing for this Thursday. My apologies for that.

Anyhow, here’s a summarized version of what we said about the Emmy nominations on Friday. Basically, everything looked on the up and up set aside a few minor quibbles which aren’t worth getting into the details of (again), and the major complaint being the almost clean snub of The Wire yet again. It’s not like we were surprised by this outcome, if the fourth season couldn’t muster up a single nomination — which we’re on record as saying is the best season of television ever made — then what hope did the far inferior (but still better than everything else on television with the exception of Mad Men) fifth season really have? After two years of writing for this site, it’s a good thing this shit doesn’t bother me anymore.

The only aspect of this even remotely flummoxing about this is David Simon and Ed Burns manage to snag a writing nomination. And that is almost a disappointment, the series’ legacy would have been better off being unacknowledged altogether.

According to David Chase, these only go for $15 at your local pawn shop, perhaps there's a reason for the diminished market value?

Based on this nomination and one for the same category for season three’s penultimate episode “Middle Ground”, it would appear that Emmy voters are at least, to some extent, watching the series. So why the lack of nominations in all major categories (acting, directing and best drama)? Even they are spinning a giant wheel and nominating whichever name the pin falls under, you would assume The Wire would come up more than it has. We do not have an explanation other than the people running this shindig are fairly unenlightened. Ed Burns sees it as a willful lack of recognition for black actors, and we’re sure that factors in to some degree. But filming in Baltimore probably doesn’t help their cause. Or their fans cause rather, since Simon doesn’t give a shit about Emmy’s or any awards.

In other areas, Rescue Me and Dennis Leary were all but ignored. Which is probably a good thing, since multiple nominations would only inflate the already inflated ego. Mad Men and 30 Rock led the way with over fifteen nominations for each series (four of 30 Rock’s came in the best guest appearance category, which probably illustrates why we don’t watch the series more than anything else), while other multiple nomination recipients went to Damages, The Office, and just to prove how in love with itself Hollywood actually is: Entourage.

What’s most vexing about all this and how it relates to The Wire, is how many more cable nominations there are than ever before. This is good news. One would figure the increased recognition of non-broadcast series would boost the best series on television’s profile, but that wouldn’t appear to be the case. Maybe they can attribute the writing nom to this development.

Even though we consider the overall development a sign of progress, their is always a dissenting opinion. Take this stooge for example. Who claims that the Emmy’s are now out of touch with the common American viewer. To which we reply: Good. The average American viewer, if ratings are any indication, is either ten years old or a complete moron who watches, soul-crushing, mind-numbing trash that we’d be ashamed to even throw out, much less claim ownership to.

Maybe this development will hurt the ratings for the Emmy’s broadcast, but we are fairly indifferent to that as well. Since the show is nothing more than a self-congratulatory smug-fest it’s probably better that no one watches it. But it does seem if not important, then at least relevant, that the people running the show for television’s highest creative honors at least honor creative efforts.

Either way, this is a significant improvement from last year’s awards, and that is with our favorite show ever being ignored. I guess our expectations were low. Still, now that The Wire is done and nothing left for them to blatantly ignore that deserves their attention, maybe we’ll be impressed from here on out.

And we finally got a sentimental, or at least quasi-sentimental Rescue Me minisode last night. As the firehouse used its final moments to banter about surefire hall of famers and the likelihood they did steroids, before unwittingly taking a call that sent them to the world trade center on 9/11. The use of Jimmy wasn’t recognizable at first, because after seeing three of these things I’ve grown accustom to just half watching them for five minutes then flipping to an Office rerun on TBS or something. But when the crew and Tommy began throwing the name Jimmy around, about thirty seconds into his appearance it finally dawned on me what was taking place.

After then it seemed likely they were planning on using this as a depiction of that unfortunate Tuesday morning, but it was still effective. Everyone, particularly Tommy, seemed relatively happy compared to what the majority of the characters are going through now. The entire scene reminded me of the Madame de Stael quote: “In life, one has the choice between boredom and suffering.” In hindsight, those characters probably look back fondly on this brand of minutia.

As for the scene itself, it was fitting to have Garritty be the naive fan boy who wants to believe in the sanctity and innocence of professional athletes. It would have fit better if anyone other than Tommy hinted at Roger Clemens, because lets face it, whether you still like this series or have been turned off by it for some reason, Leary seems to have at least a subconscious fixation with feeding his ego through his writing. Although he’s playing a character, he’s identifiable enough on his own celebrity that when he throws out insanely accurate theories that won’t be revealed for seven years, it is pretty distracting.

Still, outside of the second mini-episode these have felt like a successful venture, even though they’re still a bitch to remember. With six left we’re still undecided if these are worth the time and effort, and that’s with us enjoying them.

Some other news and notes:

Speaking of Rescue Me, Michael J. Fox’s character will not only be Janet’s ex-boyfriend, but also wheelchair bound. We’re almost certain this will not deter Tommy from picking a fight with him.

Has an actress’ physical attractiveness ever been so starkly depreciated by one of her characters personalities? We don’t have the statistics to back this up, but we’re going to say no.

Hey, and speaking of series’ who owe their very existence to David Chase and The Sopranos, someone with the name CCH Pounder claims The Shield finale will be of the anti-Sopranos variety. I would usually interpret this to mean it will be boring, predictable and formulaic, but hey, what do I know? A series finale we’re still debating almost a year later obviously sucked nuts, right? Seriously, I’m glad these people can come out and besmirch something so unique and subtle. It’s a good indicator that I never should bother with The Shield.

Amy Poehler, still happy to ride either her husband’s or Tina Fey’s coattails, whichever is most convenient, will star in the Office spin-off. We have no personal issues with Amy Poehler, unless thinking her you would deem thinking her unfunny personal. Still, we wish her all the best as she will work with some great writers at NBC, I’m sure. But right now, she’s pretty much the female Jimmy Fallon for us.

And finally, Matt Groening has come forward to publicly say what all of us already knew: The Simpsons will be around for as long as FOX will allow it to be. While we appreciate the loyalty from both sides, it’s probably time to move onto something else. Speaking for this website, the next new Simpsons episode we watch will be their series finale.