Grid Effect

Shut The F%ck Up!

I thought I would greet you this morning with the same exact intonations Ms. Garrison greets her class with after her boyfriend discovers she “used” to be male. Of course, the circumstances are a little different, she is having a difficult time landing heterosexual post-op dates and I simply need more sleep than I have been getting lately. So please, maybe I was a tad abrasive, but please try to keep a lid on it, Imus and Imus infatuated media.

I don’t think a South Park episode has ever been so misleading in its pacing. Initially, like 90% of all South Park episodes, we thought it was going to revolve around the four protagonists trying to appease their disgruntled teacher in one fashion or another. But ten minutes in, the focus shifts from the kids paying some Latin Americans to do their book report on Old Man and The Sea to Ms. Garrison’s ongoing gender identity disorder. In case you’re wondering, this episode converted her, she is now a lesbian.

(For those keeping tabs on her sexual orientation: Mr. Garrison was first a closeted homosexual masquerading as a run of the mill playboy, then he came out, then he got a sex change (making him Ms.) and she still dated men making her heterosexual once again, and now she is back where she started and is now either a full blown lesbian or bi-sexual, it’s too early to tell).

Out of nowhere, at about the ten minute mark after Garrison has converted and is in the middle of a bar fight at “Les Bos” (pronounced “Le-Bo”), some woman comes bursting through the door with news that they local Persian community has bought out their bar and is looking to make drastic altercations, leading to a hysterical 300 parody as the lesbians square off against the Persians (There are two communities Parker and Stone had yet to villify, way to broaden your horizons, guys) for the rights to the property.

It seems evident that the only South Park episodes I enjoy now are parody’s of pop culture sensations that I do not fully comprehend (I am waiting for one directed at American Idol), see the episode two weeks ago chastising 24. The last 15-20 minutes of the episode are spent with this capricious narrator detailing the actions of the two parties, and while I had tears streaming from my eyes from laughing so hard; I have never seen 300, but if it has narration like this throughout the movie, there is no way I am going to be able to take it seriously, especially after watching the the lesbians stonewall the Persians.

After reading back through this post, I would hate to see what kind of Google searches draw up this article.

Also, a good conclusion to the first season of FNL last night. In case you haven’t heard, the network ordered six new scripts of the series, so while we might not get an entire twenty-two episode second season, we will at least get an extension to the first.

Survivor recap coming up later this afternoon.