Grid Effect

Thursday’s for the foreseeable future look solid, if not outright impressive. Let’s hope to it.

NBC

8PM: My Name Is Earl
What was once considered hip is now passe, I can’t wait to see if this happens to The Office and 30 Rock. If it happened to The Simpsons, it can happen to anyone, and that’s what Earl is right now: anyone.

8:30PM:  Kath & Kim
Haven’t watched it but we know it’s a remake from Australia or England or something, and the natives of whichever country this series originates from fucking hate it. That’s good enough for us.

9PM: The Office
They’re airing a rerun to gear up for the hour long post-Super Bowl special, so enjoy “Business Ethics” the second time around. I understand and appreciate the reasoning behind this decision, but I don’t have to like it.

9:30PM: 30 Rock
30 Rock on the other hand, doesn’t have a Super Bowl episode to prep for, yet they are also airing a rerun. To busy swimming in your Scrooge-like chamber of award season trophies to make new episodes, eh Tina Fey?

10PM: ER
So how many episodes are left until the finale? Are we going until May? I really don’t care but am curious, because this finale has been talked about more so than any since The Sopranos. Considering the series past its peak about seven or eight years ago (that’s a wild guess), we find that kind of odd since we probably have about three or four months until it actually airs. One would think this is imminent with the way it’s rumored.

ABC

8PM: Ugly Betty
Was this the episode Lindsay Lohan was booted off of set for? or where Salma Hayek came within millimeters of exposing her breast(s)? Or is this just another mundane episode in which nothing happened on set, outside of the rampant drug and alcohol abuse, of course. I kid because I can’t think of another series that generated more stories behind the scenes. One thing about ABC, you can always expect three hour long dramas to account for their prime time lineup (I’m looking at you, NBC).

9PM: Grey’s Anatomy
Yeah, does this series still have the same cast it started with, other than the guy who said “fag” (which someone told me the other day I should refer to as, I kid you not, “the other ‘F’ word”) and the woman who was awarded the spin off? Is the Asian from Sideways and Arliss still on their? What about the blond mormon from Knocked Up who takes herself entirely too seriously? Does it even matter for its ratings anymore? I suspect not.

10PM: Private Practice
Ah, this is the spinoff. They’re both still on the air so I guess all is well in schmaltzy TV melodrama hospital world. Which is such great news, television doesn’t have enough single, white, professional women dealing with work and relationships, all while constantly complaining about everything they claim to want.

FOX

8PM: American Idol
Alright, three straight days. Mind you this one show occupies 30% of FOX’s prime time slots during the work week. Seem excessive? As long as the exceptionally old and young alike continue to tune in loyally, I’m afraid we’re all stuck with it. At some point, I’ll succumb to the temptation, but I’m strong today.

9PM: Hell’s Kitchen
In the land of guilty pleasures, this is the cocaine of reality television. I think we’re semi-partial to it because A) It showcases an actual skill, B) Gordon Ramsay is one of the more charismatic hosts on reality television (see his Extras cameo); and C) no one seems to talk about it. We don’t know one person who watches it or any media outlet that follows it devoutely. I’ll admit, I couldn’t stand an indoctrination from this show, but since it’s on and under the radar, we’ll pop in from time to time.

CBS

8PM: Criminal Minds
Wait a minute, didn’t we just write about this? What the fuck, CBS? You don’t have enough of these crime shows, you have to give me one in back to back nights? At some point I’m going to need to watch one of these shows so I don’t have to keep typing nonsensically until I feel like I’ve written enough for its synopsis.

9PM: CSI
This is the one with Lawrence Fishburne. I think. I don’t know, it feels like this franchise can sometimes be a tad redundant, you know? Maybe it’s just me. I mean, one show murders actresses, one models and the other hookers, who can’t get that straight?

10PM: Eleventh Hour
Oh my God, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep pretending to have something to say about every. Single. One of these series that have so much in common with those that preceded it. When’s it going to end? Huh? When’s it going to end? I’m drowning in my own bullshit at this point. Fine, you want a reason to watch this show? That women who played the doctor married to Josh Brolin in Planet Terror has a starring role.

Reason enough?

Probably it for today, back tomorrow with Friday night’s preview.