Grid Effect

With the fall television season kicking off in a couple weeks, we figured it was time to finally knock these out, and we have admittedly been procrastinating, with the FOX and also the ABC preview. We haven’t enjoyed a series on either of these networks in quite a while. In fact, with the exception of Arrested Development, we haven’t watched a series on ABC or FOX since we were too young to screw. But this is the last of these, and for that I couldn’t be more thankful.

Click on the links to read the previews for NBC, CBS, ABC and HBO.

Today we are previewing FOX. A network that has three staples (American Idol, House and 24), then fills up the rest of its primetime airing with crappy dramas nobody watches (Bones, Standoff, etc) comedies that have seen much better days (Simpsons, Family Guy) and trash reality TV (too many to name). Needless to say, FOX could stand to diversify their portfolio.

Note: I couldn’t find starting times for any of these series’ anywhere so my apologies for that, you’ll have to periodically scroll through your digital TV guide. Also, like all the network previews before it, these are just guesses, as none of these shows have aired, nor have they been sent to me.

When Women Rule The World
Synopsis: Several men have to appease several women or face being shunned and voted off. The “last man standing” wins some sort of award. I’m assuming that means he to keeps his genitals intact. Literally, not figuratively.

Initial Impressions: Well, it doesn’t get much trashier than this, and not much else really needs to be said. It’s like FOX’s version of CBS’s Kid Nation minus the parental negligence, violation of child labor laws and the intrigue. My guess is this series sinks like a stone and is prematurely cancelled. Audiences generally do not go for these gender baiting gimmicks, I don’t see why this would be any exception.

Canterbury’s Law
Synopsis: A woman is a defense lawyer, she is morally conflicted.

Initial Impressions: Not exactly an original concept, but it stars Julianna Marguiles and is produced by Dennis Leary and others, so it definitely has a high ceiling. Never the less, if Chris Moltisanti doesn’t come back from the dead and start lacing up with Julianna, then I’ll probably take a pass. Just watch Boston Legal if this is your sort of thing, and go rent The Wire’s first season if you want to see a superior crime-drama.

K-Ville
Synopsis: A cop series set in New Orleans post-Katrina. Said protagonist cop must adjust to a new partner since his former one ditched him for greener pastures.

Initial Impressions: Certainly a new modification of the buddy-cop genre, though it might be rife with controversy given the setting and whatnot. It stars Cole Hauser (the guy from that awful Mel Gibson Paparazzi movie) and Anthony Anderson (the large, gregarious black guy from everything, also has dramatic acting history on The Shield, so he should feel comfortable with this material) so the faces will be recognizable. But I just don’t know if the post-Katrina novelty will be enough to keep this series afloat. Plus, that may delve into socio-political issues that most FOX viewers aren’t accustom to. If it isn’t a man wrestling an alligator or a Brit slamming nervous high school kids about their inept singing abilities, then most of the networks regular viewers won’t be terribly interested.

New Amsterdam
Synopsis: A man is made immortal after saving a Native-American woman but reverts back to a mere mortal after meeting his future wife. Its kind of like that Stephen King movie, Thinner. Except instead of being cursed to lose weight uncontrollably by a gypsy after killing a gypsy woman, he is blessed with immortality after saving a Native American woman. Then gives it back. So nevermind, it’s nothing like Thinner, but it did come to mind.

Initial Impressions: Unlike the other two series’, I don’t recognize any of the names in the cast. That generally doesn’t bode well for pilots nowadays. It’s really at the point that a series needs a failed/aging movie star to spark the public’s interest. Personally, after K-Ville and Canterbury’s Law, I’d think that this might be one too many cop/lawyer shows, regardless of the variations. This series seems like it could benefit without a laugh track, but FOX is probably scared to death over the concept since Arrested Development-gate.

Back To You
Synopsis: Kelsey Grammar plays a successful anchorman forced to return to his old job after a faux-pas on air. Only to discover Patricia Heaton, his old on-air partner, resents his homecoming.

Initial Impressions: One of three comedies the netowrk has coming out and it has all the makings of a successful sitcom, but the genre seems to be on its deathbed and there will need to be some serious buzz after the show’s debut for it to last. As you can tell, the cast has two television vets and also includes Fred Willard (best known for his work in Christopher Guest films A Mighty Wind, Best In Show and For Your Consideration). This show, more so than any other I’ve profiled, is hevaily dependent on its writers.

The Rules For Starting Over
Synopsis: People struggle with dating after failed long-term relationships.

Initial Impressions: A relationship show! Thank goodness, I was begninning to think FOX had missed the boat entirely on this genre. Rashida Jones is the lead, so if you want to know why Jim and Pam got together on The Office…now you know. At the very least, it’s a Farrelly brothers project, so it will be raunchy, but will probably be limited by FCC restrictions to meet its inevitable early demise.

The Return of Jezebel James
Synopsis: Parker Posey is the run of the mill television career woman who is incapable of conceiving. And asks her scatter-brained sister to do it for her.

Initial Impressions: Despite how bleak the synopsis sounds, this is a comedy. Posey, after a string of successful indie flicks has decided to go for a payday in television. Given its potentially devastating material and Posey’s penchant for the melodramatic, I’m not sure how this is going to thrive at getting laughs. If it does, it will certainly demonstrate Posey’s range.

The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Synopsis: A spin-off from the Terminator character. Expect a bevy of barely-veiled references to the films.

Initial Impressions: This is one exception to the “needing a failed movie star for a scripted television show to succeed” rule, is just adapting a film concept for television This doesn’t star Linda Hamilton (Lauren Heady is the protagonist), but features everything about the character and the movie that people enjoyed (minus the masculine physique). Personally, this is something I’ll veer away from because the Terminator movies were something I enjoyed, but was never obsessed with (I always enjoyed Total Recall more when it came to Schwarzenegger movies), but this series is a stone cold lock to be a ratings monster.

So, there you have it. FOX’s new slate in a nutshell. Or rather, a seven series third-hand preview nutshell. Its new roster is so deep that it could alter my opinion of the lowest-brow broadcast network, but it probably won’t. Look for series reviews in the oncoming weeks.

Didn’t rewatch last weeks Rescue Me nor do I have much to say about it that would be considered constructive or even funny, so why not do one of these network previews I’ve been procrastinating on? Also, sorry for the late post. Again. I should do these things at night, but I enjoy my freetime and watching movies like Black Snake Moan, which wasn’t nearly as objectionable as the content would lead you to believe.

Click on these links see the previews for HBO, ABC and CBS.

Today we look at NBC, a network that experienced much critical success in 2006, but finished fourth in the ratings (a lowly fourth, at that) which lead to a front office change from the risk taking Kevin Reilly as chief of entertainment, to the brash, up-and-coming Ben Silverman, Who co-produces several other series’ including The Office and Ugly Betty. This conflict of interests, plus his rumored proclivity for reckless nightlife, and his relative inexperience have many in the industry curious as to how this all pans out.

Odds are, he’ll be considered a success since the ratings couldn’t get much worse. Meaning any slight improvement he will be credited with. I still firmly believe that the reason NBC has dipped so low in recent years is a lack of mainstream professional sporting events to use to market their products. Outside of one contract, for seventeen games a year with the NFL for Sunday Night Football, NBC has nothing. With that said, lets look at what they’re bringing to the table this fall.

(Again, these are just inital impressions. None of these shows have been screened or anything).

Chuck Mondays, 8 p.m. est.
Synopsis: A store clerk accidentally finds himself responsible for the nation’s security, and given he ends up dating the obligatory “strong female character” that is assigned by the CIA to protect him, I’m sure he’ll end up acting like a total pussy to boot.

Initial Impressions: See, this is the brand of show that could snag some cheap ratings. It has a terror plot, an attractive woman, is an hour long and is a “dramedy”. And, to be fair, its not something that this website immediately dismisses, but man does it look tacky. On their homepage, Chuck and some other hapless looking creature are standing behind a counter labeled, “Nerd Herd”. I guess Best Buy wanted too much money to borrow “Geek Squad” or whatever, so they used a phrase intended to disparage the socially awkward in middle school. Gimmicks like these are really unappealing.
Anyhow, it is created by Josh Schwartz (of OC fame), so that should help their ratings cause.

Bionic Woman Wednesdays 9pm est.
Synopsis: Based on a comic book. So naturally someone survives an accident and is physically altered in some way, decided to use her powers for good rather than evil. Which is bullshit. If any of us had supernatural abilities, we would use them strictly for material gain and self-preservation.

Initial Impressions: I’m not really familiar with the comic book or the original television series, so I’m not really an expert to comment on it, as I’m sure many of you are. But I will say this, if the Bionic Woman doesn’t turn out to be the kid from Freaks and Geeks in drag, I’m going to be very, very disappointed.

Journeyman Mondays 10pm est.
Synopsis: A man travels in time for the betterment of peoples lives all while dealing with his turbulent home life. Well, that is kind of selfish. Obviously, by rule of thumb, if one goes up then another must come down. Why should the life one made for him/herself be ruined because someone got a second chance in another dimension from some time leaping creep?

Initial Impressions: While it’s original (as far as I know, anyway, but it does sound an awful lot like Quantum Leap with domestication), it seems a bit contrived. Apparently his spousal quandary’s will stem from his “sudden disappearances” when he travels time. I mean, how many times can one claim to be “going to the store” before it starts to seem suspicious? Hopefully he eventually clues his family in on his predicament, because if I wanted to see someone using thinly-veiled lies to deal with a discrete lifestyle or just to get out of the house, I’d rewatch The Sopranos.

Lipstick Jungle
Synopsis: Three high powered women deal with the “trials and tribulations” of being high powered women. Because, you know, as a woman life is sooo much more managable being a McDonalds employee rather than a CEO. Or at least that’s what I’ve been led to believe.

(Note: The day and time was not listed on the webpage, link to it and tell me differently).

Initial Impressions: As typical as this formula is nowadays in film and television, there is a good chance I end up catching an episode, if for nothing else than to see if they do something with the characters other then have them sit around and sulk about their professional status or sit around and relish in their professional status. Not that I would know or anything, but I imagine independently wealthy, single women in New York do something that doesn’t involve complete narcissism and self-involvement. I’m sure of it.

It looks like that is it. There is another new series from NBC called Life, whose webpage I’ve been waiting ten minutes to load and refuse to wait a second longer. Since it still hasn’t, you’re going to have to investigate this one yourselves. Sorry.
In short, Life could be the greatest boradcast network series of the past fifteen years, and it looks like the new management still might leave something to be desired. Whatever, if these series’ bring in ratings to keep FNL on as a charity case, then do as you will, NBC.

Back later with a succinct Rescue Me recap.

Over the course of the summer I am doing a semi-preview of new series’ slated for the four broadcasting networks, HBO, and potentially a post covering all other new cable series. This is to ascertain if any of these series will get any significant coverage from Grid Effect and to also help you, the reader, determine if a particular show might work its way into your weekly rotation. Today: ABC. I have been relatively harsh on ABC since this blog’s inception, and it hasn’t been unwarranted. Just like chick-lit, we don’t enjoy chick TV. And with the exception of Lost, that is excatly what ABC is. Which is fine. There is obviously a niche market for that audience and ABC caters to it with successful results, just don’t expect us to watch it. These summaries will be fairly succinct, since ABC has neglected to post any information about them on their website.

You can find the overviews for CBS here, and HBO here.

Pushing Daisies: Wednesdays, 8pm et.
Synopsis: A man has the power to ressurect of the dead, but in typical ABC formatting, probably cannot do the laundry.

Initial Impressions: Well, I saw a commercial for it when I went to see the new Die Hard, so it’s already starting in the negative. Barry Sonnenfeld is the marketable name behind this project, and also features a noteworthy case including Kristin Chenoweth, as well as Jim Dale, Anna Friel and Chi McBride. This seems to be the most promising of the shows I am about to cover, but yet I know little to nothing about it because of ABC’s lackluster marketing (save for the movie trailer, of course).

Carpoolers: Tuesdays, 8:30pm et
Synopsis: Several adult men carpool to work, hilarity ensues.

Initial Impressions: Looking at the credentials of the two head writers, Kit Boss and Emily Cutler, I am pessimistic (to say the least) about this one. There highlight is a final season Seinfeld episode written by Miss Boss entitled, “The Maid”, where she was the storywriter. The most recognizable name involved is the preening Jerry O’Connell, whose about the sixth lead.
Again, ABC didn’t find it necessary to promote this upcoming series in any way on their website, so I’ll reserve judgement. But if I had to prognosticate, I would venture to assume virtually all of the men are completely subordinate to their wives, with the exception of one who’s divorced and either a prick or a schmuck. If it sustains six episodes I’d be surprised…. So much for reserving judgement.

Women’s Murder Club: Fridays, 8pm et.
Synopsis: A crime drama, in which all the noteworthy crime solving components are female: the DA, the medical examiner, the reporter and the detective.

Initial Impressions: Now this is the ABC we know and love. Its like Sex and The City, but with murders! Seriously, I couldn’t be more ecstatic. We just don’t have enough domineering, “empowered” women on television. An identifiable cast headed by Angie Harmon, Paula Newsome and Laura Harris would probably lead to a decent Nielsen, but that Friday time slot is setting them back. Maybe if it tests well it will get bumped to a more desirable weekday.

Dirty Sexy Money: Wednesdays, 10pm et.
Synopsis: A lawyer, as lawyers pine to do, represents a wealthy NYC family.

Initial Impressions: This might trump Pushing Daisies as the most promising new ABC series. It is spearheaded by up and coming creator/writer Craig Wright, and has a better cast than most films with Donald Sutherland as the patriarch, Peter Krause as the lawyer, Samaire Armstrong as a daughter, and some guy with the same last name as me (even spelled identically, usually you see the more popular “ble” suffix, as opposed to the superior “bel”). It would be better served in the 9pm slot, but if any of ABC’s new shows will be both a commercial and critical success, this will most likely be it.

Big Shots: Thursdays, 10pm et.
Synopsis: A CEO.

Initial Impressions: The Plot Outline on IMDB reads, “A Inside Look into the life of a CEO”, like the American TV and movie audience hasn’t already been overwhelmed with fictional tales of the lives of the financially successful. I guess the intention is for me to tune in and watch, mouth agape, uttering to myself, “So this is how they actually live, huh?” That probably will not happen, but I’m sure if I did watch I’d me mightily impressed. It is also headed by a decent cast with Michael Vartan, Dylan McDermott (finally biting the bullet and returning to television), Christopher Titus and Nia Long. Also directed by Charles McDougall, a guy with a serious reel. But the premise is worn thin and is too similar to the above series, Dirty Sexy Money.

ABC has three other series debuting this fall that I am not summarizing for varying reasons. Cavemen, because I refuse to acknowledge its very existence. Private Practice, because I incidentally made my thoughts on that show abundantly clear yesterday. And Sam I Am, because I couldn’t even find an IMDB page for it. All in all, it looks like a more Grid Effect friendly slate of TV from ABC than usual. Maybe they can give us something presentable so we can stop lambasting them around here.

Have a great weekend, back with more fall previews, links, recaps, etc. on Monday.

This is our second installment of introducing upcoming Fall series’ from varying television networks. You can read our overview of HBO here, and that might seem upbeat compared to what we’re about to cover, because today we are looking at CBS and considering the only series we watch/have watched on that network over the past five years is Survivor, I wouldn’t expect much positivity out of this run down. I feel like it’s simply a generational gap here, CBS is the number one network amongst senior citizens, of which we are not. Again, I am not privy to any screenings of these series, so this is all superficial knee-jerk reactions.

The Big Bang Theory: Mondays 8:30pm ET
Synopsis: An attractive blond moves in next door to a couple standard beta male geeks. High jinks ensues.
Impressions: This might score some decent ratings by association with CBS, but if I bother to tune into a single episode I would wake up feeling dirty the following day. Expect to see the two guys falling over a lot and running into things while said blond giggles at their social/physical clumsiness.

Cane : Tuesdays, 10pm ET
Synopsis: A Latin-American family deals with the trials and tribulations of sugar cane and rum empire. Certainly an unusual premise for your typical dramatic CBS series. In other words, there’s no forensics or lawyers saying things like, “If you didn’t kill her then why is her blood on your hands?”
Impressions: I like the concept here, but the very fact it’s on CBS has me skeptical. I suppose that is my innate bias exposing itself but I feel it is justified.

Kid Nation : Wednesdays, 8pm ET
Synopsis: A gaggle of forty kids set out to build a society that rivals the one created by adults, expect lollipops and forts.
Impressions: Why this is a primetime series and not on Saturday mornings I am not sure. Never the less, I can respect the business tactic from CBS: Taking a risk (because they can afford at least one) to corner the twelve and under market with the 8pm time slot because the average modern parent has neither the time, energy nor patience to challenge their kid and force them to go to bed. Really, I appreciate this cold, hard calculated move from America’s number one network. With that said, unless I’m with my nieces I’ll probably never watch it.

Moonlight: Fridays, 9pm ET
Synopsis: This is much more up CBS’s allie. In short, a private investigator who solves crimes, but with a twist. What’s the twist? The lead is, I kid you not, a vampire who spends his days fending off less noble undead counterparts and supressing his feelings for a non-vampire.
Impressions: Well, at least they’re trying. Though I’m not terribly surprised this landed a Friday time slot; nor is it surprising this is following Ghost Whisperer. For one, the series gets solid ratings for a Friday series, two, they both deal with the supernatural. But yeah, I’m pretty bearish on what’s being offered here.

Viva Laughlin: Sundays, 8pm ET
Synopsis: A British import that is part musical tells the tale of a professional wrestler who stirves to open his own casino one day in a small Nevada city. Hugh Jackman has a recurring role and executively produces the series.
Impressions: Definitely off the beaten path and its eccentric enough that I just might give it a shot. Musicals always strike me as exceedingly pretentious but if the breaks into song and dance are minimalized, they could be tolerable. I’ll give this a 5/1 shot to be my Friday Night Lights of 2007, at least in terms of series I wasn’t expecting to enjoy but was blown away with what was presented.

All in all, considering the network, the new lineup is, overall, fairly encouraging. Back with more tomorrow.

With the announcement of so many new series slated for the upcoming summer and fall, I figured making it a weekly feature to express our initial impressions for unreleased series: the anticipated and unwelcomed. Over the course of the next couple weeks we’ll tackle NBC, FOX, ABC and CBS with the intention of giving a brief synopsis and our expectations for each show set to debut. We might get to cable networks like FX and Bravo if they have enough combined series’ coming out to warrant a post. For now, since I have a running credo to give every series on HBO a chance, we’ll start with them today.

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee : Premieres May 27th, 9pm et.

Synopsis: The title is fairly self-explanatory. It recalls the aftermath of the Sioux victory at Wounded Knee. Anna Paquin, whom you may recall from the X-Men series and one of my favorite Spike Lee films, 25th Hour(where she looks fantastic, on another note, Senator Clay Davis from The Wire is in this as well, ssshhhhheeeeeiiiitttt), has a line in this that is permanently ingrained in my cerebral cortex, “It is easy to kill a man, it is much harder…to break him”. Someone missed there calling to be in Sin City.

Impressions: This is a original movie from HBO and while I tend to relegate the site to TV series’, I have seen the promo for this at least five hundred times in the past three months so I feel compelled to write about it. Essentially, it looks remarkably depressing. Whatever glory the Sioux may have felt after their victory was eventually countered with massacres akin to the ones experienced before the defeat of General Custer. Anyhow, I wouldn’t expect a dud here, this film has Emmy(’s) written all over it (HBO tends to be a mainstay in the best original film/miniseries categories).

John From Cincinnati: Premieres June 10th at 10pm et.

Synopsis: It’s just like the movie Airborne, except instead of the protagonist going from LA to Cincinnati to rollerblade, he goes from Cincinnati to LA to surf.

Impressions: There really isn’t much to take away from the promos. It looks decently acted and written, but I hate reading too much into promos that are designed to make a series look as intriguing as possible. Additionally, I’m not sure if a series that revolves around surfing can really hold my attention. Its been tried in films such as Blue Crush and Point Break, but those were nothing more than caricatures of dimwitted surfers, I trust HBO to not invest in such a project. Honestly, if it were on any other network other than Showtime or potentially FX, I wouldn’t even do a double take on this.

Flight of The Concords: June 17th at 10:30pm et.

Synopsis: Two men from New Zealand make up a folk rock band coping with the arduous process of attempting to break into the mainstream in New York City. Based on the premise alone it sounds like a comedy, and it looks like a comedy in the commercials, but I could be wrong. One of the leads is Jermaine Clement, who stars in the upcoming film Eagle Vs. Shark that I have every intention of seeing.

Impressions: My expectations for this are formidable. HBO needs a good dramedy to counter the loss of Sex and The City from a couple years ago and in three weeks The Sopranos is sent off into the sunset. This looks to have talent in front of and behind the camera, with a great premise. Hopefully its all I expect it to be and it takes with the HBO audience.

John Adams: 2008

Synopsis: A mini-series chronicling the life and times of John Adams as played by Paul Giamatti, and Laura Linney as his wife, Abagail; Produced by Tom Hanks.

Impressions: This looks unseemingly dramatic. While John Adams might seem like a peculiar historical figure for an exposition, I think that’s what makes it all the more appealing. I feel like I know enough about the mainstays: Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, Van Buren, Cleveland; but John Adams… he seems to fall by the wayside more often than not. I also like the casting of Giamatti, it adds a tinge of realism to the role. And also proves my point that while typically a film actor accepting a role for television is considered a step down, HBO is the one exception. Between Cinderella Man, The Illusionist, Sideways and American Splendor, this guy is hardly struggling to find work.

Wide Awake: Premieres May 23rd at 8pm et. (Tonight!)

Synopsis: Insomnia and individuals who struggle with the affliction.

Impressions: I am a self-diagnosed insomniac, and might be able to learn and apply some tactics they may be suggested. Of course, I’ll probably end up watching this at 3am, so it will be somewhat counterproductive.

In addition to new seasons of ongoing HBO series’, this is what you have to look forward to. Speaking of which, we’ll be back with a Sopranos synopsis tomorrow.