Grid Effect

A few more links to close out the week. It’s kind of absurd how top-heavy our TV viewing is: Two series’ on Sunday, one on Monday and one on Tuesday, then nothing Wednesday-Saturday; and that’s likely not going to change anytime soon. I hate the site being so monolithic and then just changing pace for the second half of the week, but we’re not dictating the terms ’round here. Unless something unusual arises, expect this pace on Grid Effect to continue until It’s Always Sunny starts up.

Onto some links…

Here’s Jeremy Piven saying “fuck” on CNN’s web site. Oh no, someone cursed on the interwebs? What’s happened to us?! Anyways, I’d expect a media shitstorm over this if he had been on, say, Larry King or something equally reputable; because he’s Jeremy Piven and everyone hates his guts these days. But not even the most sanctimonious prick can get worked up about someone cursing on a streaming internet video. Please tell me I’m right about this.

Big news coming out of HBO’s media day or whatever it’s called in television. To summarize, Hung, True Blood and Entourage were all renewed (no surprise considering that all three of them are dramatically moving the dial), Treme isn’t going to premiere until August, and a second season of Life and Times of Tim is in production stages but they haven’t decided where to schedule it. The two series’ that are still waiting to hear where they stand: The Ladies No. 1 Detective Agency and Flight of The Conchords.

The latter of which is likely to come back for a third season, though I didn’t even realize they were seeking a renewal. Last I heard, –and kind of just assumed because the series ended with Bret and Jemaine doing a “Stomp” like rendition in New Zealand– they were undecided if they wanted to do a third season, since I don’t think they ever regarded themselves as TV people, as evidenced by Bret Mackenzie’s non-satirical band, The Black Seeds. At least I think it isn’t satire.

Heard this in Breaking Bad episode, “4 Days Out”; season two, episode nine. Turns out it goes well with a montage for cooking meth.

For those who actually give a shit (read: the pitiable and disenfranchised), John and Kate return next week, and Kate’s going to don a bikini at some point. Great! Even more reason not to watch. They need to make more of an effort to render this show unwatchable, if just to save us from Satan’s embrace.

Larry David said that the Seinfeld cast members will appear sporadically throughout the upcoming season, scheduled to premiere on September 20th. He said it’s possible that they’ll touch on Michael Richards’…incident at The Laugh Factory from a couple years ago. I don’t really see how they can miss an opportunity like this if Larry is still living with the Blacks. It was almost tailer-made for him to put into a television show.

Here’s a study profiling average usage in cable, and reportedly 22% of us are substituting online viewing for it, either cutting back on costs or canceling it altogether. What a revelation. I never would have thought that when you made the exact same viewing experience available through other mediums at a discounted rate, people would actually take advantage of it.

And finally, it has been reported…I don’t know how many times, but I can’t recall if we ever brought it up or not: you will not see fictional Ray Drecker’s fictional penis anytime soon on Hung. I understand this is a big disappointment or relief for a lot of you, and to both parties I would like to say that you’re the reason I never feel bad when I don’t leave my house all weekend. I guess I should thank you for the excuse.

Have a good weekend, we’ll be back on Monday with the standard recaps.

Ugh, I really don’t feel like doing this right now but I feel like I should honor one of my promises to post links this week. So here goes. Also, we’re contemplating watching The Real World tonight, because we’re desperate for something with a pulse after watching The Superstars and Rescue Me last night, the latter of which damn near made me comatose. Hey, it might be utter garbage, but at least we can watch people get drunk, fall down and at some point screw each other’s brains out. Just an affirmation of life is what we’re looking for, that’s all.

With the current uptick in quality on Weeds, I suppose this is good news: Mary Louise-Parker is on board with Weeds so long as it stays fresh. If that was true she would have left after season two. But I hate to break it to you, Mary, but that might require showing more than just your tits floating in a bathtub. Ahem. This could, however, also be interpreted as bad news, because unless Parker and series creator Jenji Kohan have staunch disagreements about the best course action for the plot, it makes the likelihood of her dying before the series finale highly unlikely.

I'm starting to understand the appeal of this show.

Here’s the new teaser for Dexter, America’s favorite sensationalized televised series just behind CSI and Law & Order: SVU. Even though I don’t watch it and kind of resent its critical and commercial popularity, I am more than willing to concede that Dexter makes those two shows look like something on ABC Family. In the sensationalistic Olympics, Dexter takes the gold in a landslide.

Larry David is displeased with his appearance in high definition. Wait, you’re saying Larry David behaving neurotically about something? Get out. He’s usually so full of confidence and self-assurance when he plays a version of himself on his HBO series. This is like finding out Charlie Sheen likes hookers.

For the other 57 people who watch and/or care about Nip Tuck, they’ve already filmed their series finale, which won’t air for well over two years. Obviously they’re not bound to anything, but I like the idea that they already have a very specific direction they’re taking the series in. I’m dying to know which body parts of which main characters will have to be amputated.

And finally, here’s an interview with Connie Britton about the upcoming season(s) of Friday Night Lights. For whatever reason, more is revealed in interviews with FNL cast members than with cast from any other show I can think of. For The Sopranos you’d probably have to take out more people than the writers killed off in the first two seasons to get confirmation that Silvio wouldn’t be killed off during hiatus. Anyways, don’t watch the interview if you take SPOILERS really personally, like most everyone seems too.

Back with more tomorrow.

After a weekend of avoiding television except for a Mad Men rerun last night, we have nothing new to offer. It’s pretty much like every Monday with HBO being bought out by ABC. Wait, ABC didn’t buy out HBO, and HBO is just making the conscious decision too air exclusively unwatchable on Sunday nights? Well, OK then. I guess that just like me, HBO has no legitimate excuses.

Naturally, this means we’re going to post a few links that we deem newsworthy, before calling it a day at noon. Hey, we’re not exactly trying to cure cancer here.

For those interested, the new trailer for Woody Allen’s upcoming movie starring Larry David, Whatever Works, is online now. I can only watch it without audio, but from the looks of things it would appear David is playing a pretty similar variation of himself like that he does on Curb: same mannerisms, same neuroses and the same wardrobe, modified to fit an NYC climate. In other words, we’re going to see it the second it’s released in Columbus, which might happen some time in 2010.

"Get me something I can fucking eat!"

SNL alum and out of work for ten years television star Julia Sweeney is developing a series about a food critic. This seems like it actually has a lot of potential, which means it probably won’t get picked up, but we feel it necessary to alert you anytime a funny SNL cast member of yore is involved in something that has promise. Besides, if the character is anything like Andy Portico, I don’t see how this show can miss.

Looks like FOX gave MadTV the boot and the show is looking for a new home. If you were unaware that MadTV was still on the air up until reading this, trust me, you’re not alone.

And BJ Novak, fresh off his hiatus from The Office to work on Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorius Basterds, has jumped back into the TV world with both feet and made his directorial debut. It’s for a mini online episode, but still, it’s more directing than he’s done in the past. The guy is immensely talented, before the year is over I’m sure he’ll have started his own chain of mini-restaurants, branded his own mini fashion line and built a mini-house on an online episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Is there anything this kid can’t do at a tenth of the capacity most people do it? I kid BJ, the screen grab is a head shot of Creed, so I’m pretty certain it’s funny.

That’s it for now. This is kind of mailed-in so we might post later again today, though probably not.

In the spirit of South Park being a heaping pile of random garbage, we’re going to do something similar here today with our links. What I mean is, we’re going to post some links before we get to our South Park recap later today. I think it’s for the best if we pay as little attention as possible to last night’s episode.

Diane Farr, still best known for playing the only non-cliched female character on Rescue Me, has landed a role on Parenthood to juggle with her recurring role on Californication. I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what Parenthood is other than an upcoming hour long series on NBC, and Californication I only recognize as yet another inexplicably overrated Showtime series, so I’m not sure why I care about Diane Farr’s career path, as we seem to write about it more frequently than any other actor. We probably saw her in a Skinemax porn or something when we’ve been unable to drop the infatuation. To this day I still have a thing for Salt-’n-Pepa.

In an interview with GQ, Leno claims that after David Letterman’s heart surgery, he reached out to him by way of a card expressing his respect and admiration for the CBS late night host. This seems like an odd time to mention any of this, especially in such a glib context. But I can understand where both parties would be coming from. Letterman had just gotten out of heart surgery, and while I’m sure he could have appreciated the card from Leno, responding to it wasn’t exactly the priority. Who responds to get well cards, anyways? Leno, on the other hand, went out of his way to pen what sounds like a rather lengthy screed to someone he has a rather…unusual relationship with. Maybe he wasn’t expecting an immediate response, but one would have been enough to placate the man. I mean, if you’re on the outs with someone and they reach out like that, how else is Leno supposed to interpret non-responsiveness? In conclusion, late night talk show hosts are fifteen year-old girls.

Heidi Klum is pregnant with her fourth child. Yes, you read that right, she’s had three children and still looks like the proverbial wet dream. Man, talk about elevating expectations for every expecting mother alive. If you’re in your second trimester, I have to imagine the last thing you want you or your husband seeing is a picture of Heidi Klum in the past couple years. For example, this is what most women look like while pregnant, and to the right is what Heidi Klum looked like after pumping out three spawn. I think it’s safe to assume that she’s a cyborg or alien life form. Either that, or she has a remarkably efficient plastic surgeon. The plausible deniability is working her for me as I pretend to give a shit whether or not she’s had work done.

Rod Blagojevich, who most of you would have forgotten about by now if it wasn’t for his preposterously ethnic last name, is scheduled to go on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! First off, uh, no you’re not. You’re a embattled, corrupt former Governor who made headlines only when a senator from the same state was elected president and you attempted to auction off his seat. Secondly, is this what qualifies as celebrity now? I guess it’s no different than Scott Peterson murdering his wife, then everyone referring to it as a “celebrity trial”. I generally don’t follow all of this stuff, but when someone first asked me about the Scott Peterson trial, my reaction upon deciding I didn’t recognize the name was, “Is he an author or something?” The response was, “Nah, he’s just some guy.” Congratulations, Blagojevich, you just made me compare you to a man who was convicted of murdering his wife. You’re basically a Godfather character at this point.

A New York Observer piece profiling Woody Allen, Larry David and their upcoming movie Whatever Works. I have no idea how this is going to turn out, Woody Allen for me are always either really, really effective or really, really inept. I’ve never watched a Woody Allen movie and been ambivalent about it (which I suppose is a testament to his film-making). But if it lands Woody Allen with a cameo on Curb, I really don’t give a shit either way.

In an interview with the Onion AV Club, Will Arnett is asked if he’s doing too many GOB Bluth like roles. I’m going to go ahead and say no, because if that were the case I probably would have enjoyed something he’s been in since Arrested Development. Actually, I can’t lie to you fine people, other than interviews with Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel I don’t think I’ve bothered to watch anything he’s been in since AD. He’s great in those interviews though. I’m sorry, but for movies like Let’s Go To Prison and Blades of Steel
I’m not exactly rushing out to the theater to hand my money over for.

So it appears that The Office is approaching a hundred episodes and in honor of that milestone the cast wore Scranton shirts to some party. Or something. I don’t know, I imagine when you get into entertainment news your expecting to partake in some inane tasks, but don’t you really have to reevaluate how you cover the entertainment industry, if not quit your job altogether, if you’re reporting that a bunch of people wore the same t-shirts to a social outing? And yes, I am aware of the irony of me relaying the news, but it’s in jest, so I don’t think it qualifies. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

And finally, Will Ferrell will appear on an episode of Man vs. Wild set in North Sweden. And because everyone we seem to associate with seems to enjoy this show except for us, this seems like a good career move. Not only is it a novel idea ripe for comedic potential, it will also demand that he goes beyond his aggressive, batshit crazy schtick and expand his horizons. I mean, he can’t just frantically scream in this setting and have that be the extent of his cameo, can he? I’m sure he can’t.

South Park recap, most likely after work.

There isn’t much happening in the world of television, or at least not much that we feel is necessary to include into a links post. So we’re going to keep this rather succinct, because no one likes reading a 500+ word blog post. That, and it takes longer to write. And effort is in direct contrast with everything we hold dear.

Not that we needed the extra incentive, but...she doesn't hurt.

My Boys returned last night and we will shamefully admit that we watched it in full. It was about as slightly better than mediocre, which is about where we expect it to be. Between the mustache growing contest and Gaffigan’s side commentary, we don’t really regret investing the time to watch. Since it’s not really a series because each season is never more than ten episodes and has a year in between each stretch, we find that it’s relatively easy TV that requires nothing on the part of its audience, but still has a few solid jokes while it’s at it. With television comedy being what it is right now, that’s enough to keep our attention for a half hour.

Looks like FOX, of all networks, will be giving Wanda Sykes her own Bill Maher-esque political comedy talk show. We couldn’t be more thrilled, she was on that one thing that one time, has a recurring character as herself on Curb Your Enthusiasm, was in those Public Service Announcements about using the word “gay” as a negative adjective, and was also in that other thing once. In addition to her stand-ups, it’s been a storied career. It’s good to see that she’ finally getting some attention, because she seems like one of the funnier women in Hollywood.

If you needed a reason to do something drastic in your life, I can’t think of better motivation than hearing that The Real World has been extended for four more seasons in addition to their current contract which I believe has five more years on it. That will bring TRW to a grand total of twenty-six seasons provided no one dies during filming. Great, MTV, now you have half of America wishing death on some probably amiable stranger. Bang up job, guys. Maybe for your next act you can announce an extension to My Super Sweet 16.

An interview with Jason Katims in which he reveals that some of the current cast will be back for the fourth season. Wait, you mean Tyra won’t be around to lament her imperfect decisions from when she was fourteen for another season? Ah, man. I really wanted to see her, Riggins and Lyla hang around for a third senior year.

Don’t know if I’ve even bothered to mention it, but they remade the nineties sitcom Cupid without the original cast. And surprise, it isn’t as effective as the critically-acclaimed but short lived CBS series with Jeremy Piven and Paula Marshall. Who would’ve thought, you take the best thing away from a TV show but still go through with the remake, and for some reason it doesn’t live up to its predecessor.

And finally, The Wire aired on one of the BBC networks in the UK on Monday, and according to this article it drew in about 600,000 viewers. The articles doesn’t really say if that’s a lot or a little and I really have no idea why this matters. Hasn’t the show already aired in its entirety in the UK? Is it because they’re on a more mainstream network now? Either way, since it’s rating is described as “respectable” it sounds like it’s doing better on the second go around over there than it ever did here.

South Park recap tomorrow and maybe some links to close out the short week.

Welcome back, hope everyone’s weekend was as slow, uneventful and socially isolating as mine was. We’re kind of busy this morning so let’s get the ball rolling with some links.

It seems that Jordana Spiro, the epitome of the girl-next-door type and star of TBS’ semi-hit My Boys, is disappointed the show never gets a broadcast network sized season. Referring to the nine episodes they are doing as “whopping”. Here’s a question, does anyone ever use the word “whopping” and not do so in a sarcastic context? It just doesn’t seem to invoke much seriousness and it seems to be treated as such. But it’s a part of the English language with a literal meaning, yet you never hear anyone say, “the bartender poured me a whopping three ounces of Jamie”. I blame Burger King for this universal cheapening of a word.

Here’s some good news, the cast of Seinfeld will be involved in a multiple episode arc for the upcoming season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, which will debut on September 7th. The only person to not make an appearance on the series is Michael Richards, and if the writers are worth their salt they’ll have him and Wanda butting heads over his Laugh Factory incident. So yeah, I expect that to factor in at some point. Also, since it’s a multiple episode storyline, it won’t be like in the fourth season, when they said Jerry Seinfeld would be making a cameo, and it ended up being a five second shot of him applauding at a Broadway show.

Don’t know if any of you have been following The Daily Show lately, but Jon Stewart has been hammering away at CNBC for their failure to recognize the current economic meltdown. He doubled-down for a Letterman appearance on Thursday night, taking the network to task again for what he perceives as their professional shortcomings. Then I caught Erin Burnett doing everything she could to defend her employer on Bill Maher’s show on Saturday afternoon (it originally airs Friday night). I guess CNBC should be ecstatic that someone outside of Wall St. actually seems to be giving a shit about them now. But given that their audience is so narrow, one has to wonder that even if someone over their had warned everyone of financial Armageddon, would it have really mattered? Not that this is an applicable defense for CNBC to use from the comedian’s brigade of political commentators, but it does make one wonder what CNBC’s actual role is other than entertainment and to make Wall St. feel better about itself.

Here’s confirmation that Amy Ryan will be back for The Office finale this season, so it appears Michael will get his closure. Oh, semi-spoiler alert. Also, this might give us the chance to see Amy Ryan on  screen with Idris Elba for the first time ever, and make way for several Wire references which you know the writers won’t be able to refrain from.

And finally, because there are so few movies worth your money that come out this time of year, we’re going to be inundated with constant updates on what’s happening with the Arrested Development movie. Today’s update: It’s difficult finding the time to shoot because everyone has their own careers (they do?). In other words, it sounds like every other movie that’s ever been shot but with a larger core cast of characters. Anyway, pretend to act hysterical if it better suits you. ZOMG the movie’s in jeopardy!

Back with Flight of The Conchords recap later today.

I should probably mention that there is some quality television returning/airing tonight. Most notably: The Office, which comes back from its month long hiatus; and 30 Rock, which, while modestly funny last week, Salma Hayek’s heaving breasts manage to dominate all the water cooler talk in some of your more traditional offices last Friday.

And speaking of The Office, look who’s scheduled to make a six episode cameo later this season. If you’re too lazy to click on the link I’ll just tell you: Idris Elba. If you never watched The Wire or never bothered to learn the actor’s names, he played Stringer Bell in the first three seasons. Anyhow, between the reference to the series in “Night Out” and Amy Ryan getting a six episode arc earlier this season (that began in last season’s finale), either a producer or someone in casting is a fan and has a really good eye for talent.

But back to Elba. This, more so than anything else I can recall, is the best example of entertainment world’s colliding. Of all the series’ we recap on here, I can’t think of any two that are more an example of polar opposites than The Wire and The Office. Survivor use to be in The Office’s spot,, but Corrinne went and ruined that this season when she made threats against several fellow contestants lives. Congratulations, Corrinne. You managed to turn an otherwise harmless reality show into something more akin to Baltimore’s west side.

Anyhow, this seems to happen more often than not when you begin to identify an actor with a specific character he’s portrayed. It’s a culmination of the role being so well-executed and well-written that if the role is recurring over several seasons, it’s almost impossible to see the actor in something else and not immediately think of the character that you remember him from. It’s the antithesis of seeing Tom Cruise in Valkyrie.

So what are some other instances of this? Here’s a top five because we’re too busy to do a top ten (Note: We’re keeping this with recent history, anything pre-1980’s is excluded because it’s absurd to act like there is any similarity between television now and then, other than they share the same medium).

1) James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano

It’s not exactly original and from what I can tell it’s the last thing Gandolfini wants to hear, but what does he want everyone to say? He was the central figure in a television series that changed the landscape of scripted television forever. Since everyone who isn’t a counter-cultural dipshit just for the sake of being a counter-cultural dipshit seems agree that The Sopranos is at least one of the five greatest series’ of all time, I’d probably wear it as a badge of honor rather than a scarlet letter. Things would probably go better for Gandolfini’s post-Sopranos career if he did.

2) Ed O’Neill as Al Bundy

I’m not sure if in the 2+ years we’ve been writing on this site that we’ve ever mentioned Married With Children. But some of his other work we’ve seen him in where he was perfectly sufficient if not commendable yet couldn’t shake the typecast: Blue Chips, Dutch, Little Giants. Other films we’ve seen him in where we didn’t expect him to complain about women’s shoes: 0. Actually, that’s not entirely true, he played a short-order cook in Wayne’s World who was more embittered than Al Bundy ever was, so through some form of osmosis we were able to separate the actor from his character. We still remember his most infamous line from the movie: “Why is it when you kill a man in war it’s called heroic, but when you do it in the heat of passion, it’s called murder?” Other than that, this is what 260 episodes with one character will do to you.

Unfortunately, this spawned several casual imitations.

3) Michael Richards as Kramer

I was torn between him and George Costanza, and it was a tough call. Jason Alexander did a whole arc on Curb Your Enthusiasm about how he can’t get noticed for anything other than Costanza. But what ended up pushing Richards over the edge was Alexander has at least attempted to play other characters that aren’t eerily similar to the character he played on Seinfeld. The two movies we’ve seen Michael Richards in: Trial & Error and Airheads, Richards is playing either an abridged version of Kramer or some guy crawling through a ventilation system at a radio station. Essentially, it was distracting just how similar he was to Cozmo.

Of course while he once lamented this fact, he probably now wishes that’s what he was best remembered for. Over the course of time, I’m sure he will be. But when you scream the “N-word” at several audience members during a stand-up, that racist label can really stick.

4) Mary Louise-Parker as Nancy Botwin

This series hasn’t been around for that long and I’m sure there are plenty of better examples for this list, but we were watching The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (Great film, but watch it without any distractions or else you’re going to spend the length of the movie checking your watch/cell phone) in which she plays Jesse James’ wife. We couldn’t help but internally scream “It’s Nancy Botwin!”. It was even all the more glaring since the two characters are such polar opposites. Nancy is the prototypical strong, empowered contemporary woman who happens to recklessly sell drugs for…you can’t even say to support her family anymore, so much as for her own amusement.

Meanwhile, Zee James was the standard timid, docile housewife who barely spoke. Towards the end of Jesse James, I was waiting for Zee to seduce a bevy of men to have the Ford brothers murdered. Never happened, because I forgot I was watching Mary Louise-Parker play a different character, and that Nancy Botwin isn’t a real person.

5) Kelsey Grammar as Frasier Crane

For starters, the character spanned two rather infamous series in Cheers (201 episodes) and his own psuedo spin-off Frasier (263 episodes). That is 464 episodes with an actor playing the same character. How does the American public even begin to differentiate him from this character? For all the bitching any actor might do over typecasting, their agents/managers/whoever should put them in the Clockwork Orange suspension chair and make them watch a fourth of the episodes Kelsey Grammar has done with this character, then inform said actor how many more episodes of Dr. Frasier Crane he/she could be subjected too and suggest they just shut the fuck up for awhile. Call me when you get to 100 episodes, much less 464.

That’s five off the top of my head. Since Idris Elba and The Office spun this entire thing, I think it warrants mentioning that all Wire characters avoided the top five because none of them had proportional screen time with any of the aforementioned names. My apologies if this was misleading.

Back with more tomorrow.

Alright, we’re planning on writing the Mad Men recap either today or tomorrow in order to get it out of the way before Friday, and also because we might consider the finale…we don’t want to say “worst” episode of Mad Men we’ve seen, because that implies it was actually low-grade. It wasn’t. But it certainly lacked the same emotional and borderline spiritual punch that we are accustom to getting from the series.

Also, would the world series just fucking end? My God, if this becomes the first series to reach six games since 2003 because of God’s practical joke on the city of Philadelphia we might be postponing these nightly previews until next week. Which would mean our fall preview would come in November. Fuck you, baseball. And fuck you too, elections. Regardless of what happens with the series, we won’t get around to Tuesday’s preview until two weeks from today, which puts us at November 11th. That is roughly three weeks before a good chunk of television series’ go on hiatus.

I think it is safe to say, that this was poorly planned.

Onto the links.

Apparently the reason Coldplay performed three songs on Saturday’s Jon Hamm hosted SNL, wasn’t because Coldplay is a band full of self-important musicians or the writers and cast were feeling particularly lazy. Nope, its due solely to the fact that Amy Poehler is on maternity leave. Gee whiz, guys; it’s a good thing to see we’re not overreacting. Maybe Coldplay performed in place of excessive commercials (which SNL is famous for). You know, occasionally people in the public eye get too much credit for things they aren’t rightly responsible for, but typically not all that credit is unwarranted.

We will say this: Poehler does bring a lot to the table in current day SNL, but if Poehler really is adding an additional six minutes of sketches to SNL and they are completely incapable of replacing her, then maybe it is time to recalibrate what exactly they are trying to do with this show. When an average to slightly above average cast member in the history of its run is so vital to their capacity to just kill time, they might just want to cancel it altogether.

Sons of Anarchy, the FX biker gang series that we promised to watch but never did, has a fan base that  is reportedly 40% female.  The creator is attributing it to his work being “a family show at its core”. I prefer to take the Larry David approach here and say women love it because it is criminal, and women are attracted to criminals. Honestly, The Sopranos was a family show at its core, but I can guaran-fucking-tee you that about 90% of its audience watched the series to see who was the next to get “whacked”. Haha, its funny because that’s what mob guys say.

This? Is for the ladies. You can thank me later.

Speaking of Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm is slated for a return on an undisclosed date sometime next year. This will mark the seventh season of the now infamous HBO comedy, a season that we pleaded for an assumed we would get when David separated from his shrill, probably insufferable to live with wife. We hope he is coping with the divorce well, and that everything about it trickles down into the season with the Blacks.

And finally, if you missed this interview with Mathew Weiner and are confused about anything in the series, then I am willing to bet it will be illuminated for you somewhere in those 10,000+ words. I might just skip my recap in favor of copying and pasting whatever is in that Q&A. He also claims to aspire to be associated with Mad Men “forever”, which implies that someone, somewhere is/was assuming that he was just going to abandon a project that is not only one of the best ever made, but also his magnum opus. Would David Chase ever leave The Sopranos, or David Simon The Wire, just consider how ridiculous the notion is that Weiner would ever part ways with this series.

Potentially back with more links later.

That was some fucking night of television. We got the best Mad Men of the season with huge stakes for all of the characters, but as great Mad Men was, it couldn’t even hold a candle to what David Simon gave us with the finale of Generation Kill. We got into work late and need to collect our thoughts before doing a recap, so we will just offer up some links this morning. But still, it warrants mentioning every hour, on the hour how great that was.

If you are in college and actually know of some obscure comedy on FX called It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, then chances are you aren’t doing it right. On the other hand, the news that the cast is doing a ten campus tour to promote the new season might interest you. Fact is, this series is catered to spoiled, entitled college kids with a twisted sense of humor, so it is probably a good move. If you are in college though, and use your domicile for anything more than sleeping, we still maintain that you are doing it wrong.

You know our countries priorities are askew when Johnny Fairplay is privileged enough to meet Barack Obama in a personal setting. While I am sure the guy who took a shit in a housemates bed once has some enlightening perspectives on foreign policy, this seems like a waste of everyone’s time except for the two people who agreed to it. I suppose if you are a fame whore, you are a fame whore in every aspect of the public eye. Just on principal we hope this photo costs Mr. Obama some votes and Fairplay some money that he so clearly, desperately needs.

More healthy news for teenage girls in America: MTV is set to produce a new “reality” series in which abhorrent amounts of weight. At least they give the person who loses the most $100,000, that way she can pay for college and all the physical and mental therapy she will need afterwards.

Here’s an article asking why television stars do not watch television. My best guess is they are bitter they are not in movies, other than that their reasons would vary just like any other non television actor: simply do not like the medium or are preoccupied for with other areas of life. One of the strangest cases of this to me was finding out that Wood Harris never watches The Wire (Looked for the link, read it in a rap publication awhile ago). Considering it is a masterpiece, he was an integral part of it for three seasons, and he is an aspiring musician (and all rap musicians seem to watch the series), I was actually taken back by this revelation.

This is something of interest for the upcoming Entourage season: Watch Richard Roeper and Michael Phillips (from the New York Times, I think), fire off on “Medellin” in the season premiere on Ebert an Roeper. That is actually a nice swan song for the PTI-esque film criticism show, especially considering Mr. Roeper is such a fan of the series and with them airing their last episode two Sundays ago and saying nary a word about it. One last hammering of some awful, pretentious, (fake) indie-film crap before the show goes quietly into the good night.

...Two hours later, the statue was missing.

Wire alums news: In news that shocked nobody Felicia “Snoop” Pearson (played Snoop, obviously) was arrested on drug charges. When she was fourteen she went to jail for man-slaughter, so if you look at it from that angle this isn’t so bad. Also, after five seasons of The Wire, Lance Reddick (Cedric Daniels) will be starring in Fringe, a much lighter-hearted series on FOXl and he is thankful for the change in tone and pace. I can imagine, I cry myself to sleep everytime I watch The Wire, if I actually had a hand in making it, I’d probably adapt too much to my surroundings.

Margaret Cho, in a feeble attempt to create some buzz about her new series, the unfortunately named Cho Show, has compared it to Curb Your Enthusiasm. I didn’t watch it on Friday night, mostly because it stars Maragaret Cho, is on Friday night and is on VH1, but I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that anything airing on VH1 is nothing like Curb Your Enthusiasm. Please inform us otherwise if we are wrong, but unless anyone says something in the next ten seconds, we’ll know we are right…Then it’s settled.

DMX, the one time hip-hop phenom, is now getting a reality series based on his legal trouble or something. I don’t know. By my estimation he is about fifteen years ahead of schedule. If you are using the Flava Flav model at least. DMX still isn’t donning a giant clock around his neck or any other novelty accessories, but then again his is set in prison and not some Hollywood owned mansion packed with trashy, desperate women with no worldy skills hoping to scorn the Earth with Flava Flav’s progeny.

That is it for now, back with the review/recap of Generation KIll later today.

There is way too much news from the weekend to bring it all to one post, so we’ll limit it to six or so links as to keep things relatively organized.

It has been speculated ever since his divorce, and is now official. Larry David is bringing back Curb Your Enthusiasm for a seventh season in the first quarter of 2009. We assume the film he was doing with Woody Allen is all wrapped up, hence the announcement. No word yet as to whether or not the Blacks will be part of the cast, but we are kind of assuming — nay, expecting — they will be. This was announced on Friday and we’re still giddy about it, that’s why we’re winners.

This seems like too much sense that we assumed it would never happen.

Elizabeth Moss and January Jones claim to have restarted smoking again as a result of being on Mad Men, which isn’t all that surprising. If you were actually addicted to smoking, a picture of a banana or some gay porn could probably get you back on the wagon, much less being around take after take of people smoking herbal cigarettes while you’re at work. Either way, it’s a small price to pay to be apart of the series. Before this January Jones was best known for being in American Wedding, which was like the sixth installment of the American Pie franchise. A franchise we loathe of the highest order.

David Simon is not making a Wire movie. Saying, “It would be like dragging a flag through the mud.” Well then, that should put all rumors, speculation and ideas to rest. Particularly the ideas, I have to imagine that David Simon shooting down one of your scripts is akin to Michael Jordan telling you to go out for track and field instead of basketball.

Speaking of David Simon — and the fact that we’re still pretty enamored with what we watched last night — Generation Kill was screened at Camp Pendleton prior to its airing, and for anyone questioning its authenticity, you should know that it was widely received by the several hundred marines in attendance. This instills more anticipation than any review we could ever read, because it is coming from the ground floor.

David Simon is just all over the newswire these days, as his new series about Jazz musicians in New Orleans, Treme, will star Wendell Pierce a New Orleans native and Wire alumnus himself. This news, beyond all else, is just fantastic. Are we wrong to hope that he also has a casual, borderline destructive drinking problem?

And finally, more good news, Martin Scorcese is bringing his talents to HBO for a series about the corruption that plagues/plagued Atlantic City. We live by few rules, but if it involves Scorcese, corruption, crime and legalized gambling then we make a point to see whatever it is.

Back with a Weeds review/recap and some more links tomorrow.

We here at Grid Effect we’re particularly enamored with the past year in television and film, but in most instances the two mediums at large cater to an audience we simply can’t relate too. For every No Country For Old Men and Flight of The Conchords there’s ten Evan Almighty’s and five Big Bang Theory’s, not to say we always scoff at the commercial pieces, we love Grindhouse and The Office, but those are two exceptions. While these both have their shallow characteristics there is still an emphasis on originality and characterization, the same cannot be said for their mainstream counterparts.

Given this is a TV blog, at this time of year we like to recognize series’ that might otherwise go unrecognized, regardless of how trivial and irrelevant the recognition actually is. We’ll countdown 10-6 today, and finish 5-1 on Monday. To read about last year’s best series as donned by this blog, go here and here.

First off, lets take some time to acknowledge the series’ we excluded, including Entourage, Rescue Me Nip Tuck and Survivor. The latter of which had secured its place on the board until this dreadful last season. And we tend to think that producing the worst season out of fifteen warrants barring you from any top ten lists. Rescue Me and Entourage, last year ranked 10 and 8, respectively fell off completely this year for a variety of reasons.

That’s pretty disappointing when two of the series’ on last year’s list weren’t even up for consideration (AD and The Wire). Each had their moments, but neither series seems to have a clue as to where they are going, and are just meandering around for the networks while they still grab decent ratings. And Nip Tuck’s absence shouldn’t come as any surprise.

10) Weeds
A bit of a sham because we haven’t even seen their most recent season, but the first two were good enough that we’re going to take the liberty of saying we’re confident in the product. A series about ultra-liberal potheads for ultra-liberal potheads might seem like a cliche given the current Hollywood environment, but this series produces the goods with great performances from Kevin Nealon as Doug Wilson, and Mary Louise-Parker and Justin Kirk as Nancy and Andy Botwin. A comedy as much as it is a family drama, this series produces great bits of dialog and plot development like no other sitcom to date. And trust us, had we been privy to season three, it would be much higher than #10.

You know it’s good when we haven’t even seen this year’s season and still have it ranked.

9) Flight of The Conchords
As quirky as it is fresh (the antithesis to Juno in that regard), FoTC follows the lives of two aspiring yet hopeless New Zealand musicians in New York. They get into mostly self-inflicted misadventures and handle all of them with a bumbling beta-maleness that can only be accurately described as impotent indifference. This would have earned a higher spot if it wasn’t for the all too frequent uncomfortable musical bits, but with Bret, Jermaine, Murray, Mel and Dave all churning out consistent comedic bits, the place as worst best series we actually saw in full in 2007 seems appropriate.

Friday Night Lights
God we hate putting this series so low. The first season was probably the best network drama we have ever seen. The exposition on a small Texas town and its football team couldn’t have been less imperfect. But this second season, with its uneven episodes and murder plots and surplus of adult-child relationships, we couldn’t rationally put it above anything else left. It has a glimmer of hope that they can get back on track, but they’ve effectively ruined Landry (probably the best peripheral character from season one) and taken several characters down paths I’m not entirely interested in nor do I find them to be as organic as the first seasons conflicts and resolutions. Right now, Taylor Keitsch and Scott Porter as Riggins and Street are saving that series.

7) Curb Your Enthusiasm
Surprised we decided to rank it this high given the frequency of letdowns for their first season in almost two years. But the last three or four episodes (starting with whenever Cheryl left Larry) completely redeemed the season’s initial outpour of implausibility. We suppose this speaks to the longevity of Larry David and his capacity for comedic development, but really we’re not so sure we aren’t putting it on here solely for the last minute of the season. They need to return for a seventh so we can see that final sixty seconds elongated.

6) The Office
Fell a couple spots from last year, though still remained strong despite all our incessant nitpicking. We like to hold great series’ to a higher standard and not resort to the old, “it’s still better than anything else on television” defense. But in all honesty, it is. Even the best 30 Rock episode, which is a highly respected and critically lauded series, doesn’t produce as many great moments (comedic or otherwise) as does the worst episode of The Office. So, for all the unnecessary declarations of love and relationship quarrels, we’re still placing it here at number six.

Back with the top five series of the year on Monday.

We haven’t watched Survivor in enough detail to do a full on, play-by-play recap. And to be honest, we’re really unmotivated to do so, everything about this season is about as spontaneous as an episode of CSI. That is to say, we can see it coming from a mile away. I guess that’s the gamut one runs with reality television, you put a lot of stock in casting and hope it pans out. If it doesn’t then the budget costs were low and they can pump out another season ready for airing in three to six months.

So when in doubt or lethargy, we do how we always do and just doll out some links about nothing in particular and be done with it.

The Golden Globe nominees were announced today, and since this is a TV Blog I’ll try to keep my film critiques at a minimum since it seems like for the most part they got it right. We will say that the bias for late fall/early winter releases is growing tiresome. They gave some love to A Mighty Heart and Eastern Promises, the latter was an alright genre flick. A tad formulaic and didn’t really bring anything new to the table, but certainly engaging, well acted and decently written. But still, it pales in comparison to 3:10 To Yuma and Rescue Dawn. One question though, we haven’t seen it, but is it really appropriate to put Charlie Wilson’s War in the Musical or Comedy category. I guess that “American Pie” song is really influential, even though it is misplaced in this film, considering the song was released in 1971 and the movie is set in 1980. But hey, why worry about semantics, right?

As for the television side of things, no nomination for The Sopranos for Best Drama and Gandolfini for best actor are the most glaring oversights, but as far as everything else is concerned it seems pretty accurate. I have a few nitpicks, such as the actresses on Mad Men (especially Christina Hendricks) getting shut out of all nominations, and Vincent Kartheiser as well. However, the series is nominated for best drama and Jon Hamm got a nomination for best actor, so it all evens out. Sort of. Other complaints like It’s Always Sunny and Curb getting shut out weren’t exactly surprises. The former is probably unknown amongst the international press and the latter wrapped up their worst season to date, despite how great the last two or three episodes were. We try to be realists around here.

In non-award news, Will Arnett is scheduled to be the voice of the car from Knight Rider in an upcoming movie adapted from the laughable classic. He really is just squandering away all that good faith he built up in AD, isn’t he?

Those-were-the-dayyyyysssss.

Reno 911 is bringing in several noteworthy actors and actresses for their fifth season, I won’t even say their names. As a casual viewer of the comedy, am I the only one who sees this as a bad thing? Usually when a successful series starts bringing in bigger, non-traditional names to generate buzz, it’s when the series begins to decline. See 30 Rock this season. Or so I’ve been told.

The union is starting to cave in on itself and is now pointing fingers. This might signify the end of the working millionaire in Hollywood. We kid, but we’re actually pulling for them to stay on track and not lose sight of the bigger picture. That being, while this strike is going on, that’s fewer coked out wannabe actresses they’re coercing into bed with the “promise” of a line in the upcoming Brett Ratner movie.

Also from the LA Times, several of the late show writers want their employers returning to work so they can lobby for them on a national level. Because right now as far as the rest of the country is concerned, though there is a deficit of quality entertainment (not necessarily a bad thing in this country), this is ultimately a regional/local problem. Any change would probably be for the better, because right now they’re looking to be in dire straits.

To anyone who isn’t a total moron, Kiefer Sutherland getting a surplus of fan mail shouldn’t come as a surprise. Does he have priors or something? How is he getting two months in prison and his 20 something, white female counterparts are rarely exceeding a full day? God. If this was a torture camp he got electroshocked in the nuts and they got off with some minimal water-boarding. We guess it pays to be a whorish, non-attractive, untalented celebrity in this country.

ABC brought the ax down on Big Shots, a tale of four emasculated CEO’s and how they manage to be CEO’s while completely stripped of their manhood. Damn, we really thought that would build an audience.

And finally, PBS is getting into the reality game with an academic tinge: they’re following around the student newspaper at Penn State. Speaking from experience, we can assure you that few things are more profoundly uninteresting, subjective and apathetic than a student newspaper. Never the less, it beats the shit out of American Idol.

Back with a Survivor recap later.

A possibly redeeming episode of Nip Tuck last night, we’ll have to think about it over the course of the following week. We will say this: On a trash TV level, which is the only level the series has ever been enjoyable on, last night’s episode worked.

We’ll get to it in detail next Tuesday, onto the links…

Sounds like everyone approached yesterday’s strike negotiations with a level-head. This is huge, since the Hollywood crowd is seldom reasonable about anything. I envisioned more of a Larry David-Alan Wasserman type scenario.

In lieu of writers? Simple, bring back American Gladiators. I wonder if they’ll have any sort of reunion show, with all the original gladiators, Joe Theismann and the quintessential Italian stereotype in the jumpsuit explaining the nuance of the eliminator to us? Seriously, that guy with the slicked back hair has done more harm to the Italian/American perception than anything that ever happened on The Sopranos.

There better be a reincarnation of the game, preferably on the Wii.

Maybe you haven’t heard, but NBC has picked up Chuck and Life for full seasons. We watched about twenty minutes of the former since the pilot, and it consisted of Chuck and his friend acting completely pathetic with the female lead and some really bad actress brought in as one of the female lead’s coworkers (the names escape me). We don’t want to rush to judgment, so we’ll ask, has it gotten any better? Or has it at least improved within its own genre? We never watched Life but hear good things. Of course, those who watch Chuck have many laudatory comments as well, so read into that how you will.

The presidential hopefuls list their favorite series’ on television. Not sure who I’m voting for yet, but if I go blue the fact that Barack Obama is the only candidate who watches The Wire certainly doesn’t hurt his cause. We’ve always said that if Carcetti reminds us of anyone, it’s Obama. Given Obama is operating on a much larger scale, but the young, upstart politician giving all the veterans the business is essentially what the fictional Carcetti and non-fictional Obama have set out to do. Assuming the parallel is consistent, it’s only a matter of time before the windy city native is swallowed up by the dark side.

Just to illustrate how there is no rhyme or reason to the television industry, HBO grew in popularity after The Sopranos finale. Is it because Curb returned after a two year hiatus? We’re John From Cincinnati’s ratings misleading? Were people not aware that “Made In America” was David Chase’s series finale? No idea, but only the former makes an iota of sense.

We actually saw this live last Friday, and while we we’re amused by it, we found it surprising that the University of Colorado would be self-deprecating to the point of having Cartman mock their politics, which Trey Parker and Matt Stone have done several times on their series. If you include the win that afternoon, it was a great day for the people in Boulder.

And finally, has there ever been more in production banter about a movie than we’re experiencing with the Sex and the City theatrical debut? Honestly, they’re going to flame out with all the over-saturation.

Well, god damn, that was pleasant. Has there ever been a more satisfying season finale to a comedy? My vote would be no, but my bias for JB Smoove as Leon being the highlight of the season is well documented. Even for all the mid-season blunders this year, that final montage essentially compensated for any perceived shortcomings. And, with a last quarter run, we still got about five quality episodes, two mediocre ones and three duds.

This finale, much like all Curb finales (sans season four, I couldn’t stand how much time they invested in showing us The Producers) ended a main storyline, but unlike past finales, this one could actually run into the following season. There stands a good chance The Blacks are still around in season seven, unlike Larry’s Broadway career or the restaurant or Larry’s search for his biological parents or “Aren’t You Evelyn?”, and that is considered around these parts as a high note.

Damn that Tivo guy.

The ending distracted from what was otherwise an entertaining finale. The movie theater experience, Larry’s flirting in the waiting room, the conversation with the administrator (”I’m not an inventor, so much as I am an improver”), the gargling bet with Jeff (”I would have gladly paid that fifty bucks because that was so enjoyable, but you ruined it”), the “Bin Laden” vs. “Ben Laden” and “Is Life too short?” conversations with Richard, “mopy” vs. “Moby” dick and Larry’s scaring off the potential neighbor were all comedy gems, and if these instances were spread out over three episodes we would consider all three episodes a success.

The gerbil rumor, however, was a little too far-fetched. It seems like someone as I’m sure intigrated in the Hollywood community as Larry is, would be above suspicion of such outrageousness. Also, the first thing that came to mind after Larry made up his affliction with the nurse was Mr. Slave and the Lemmingwinks episode. Which was far more unmerciful on our sensibilities, but its animated and prides itself on its outlandish storytelling. Curb prefers to ground itself in reality, or at least a version of it that represents Larry David’s charmed life. Everyone assuming he has a gerbil lodged in his colon doesn’t really hold up to that standard.

Still, I can’t believe this was a finale. The season seemed to come and go in the blink of an eye, and while I complained immensely about several of the episodes, it leaves me with nothing to write about on Mondays. This website might just might reflect a more typical blog for at least one day a week, with multiple, shorter posts throughout the course of the day. Kind of like an elongated version of the Wednesday links.

But not today, if this format is adopted then it will be reflected next week when everyone’s on vacation and unable to read it. Back with a Nip Tuck recap tomorrow.

Didn’t watch Nip Tuck last night, though we did see American Gangster and, while it was certainly an entertaining flick and revolved heavily around symbolic gestures about American capitalism, and told the story of two profoundly unique individuals, both stories were so riveting that they could have been broken down into two separate films, each about the same length as the two and a half hours we saw last night. There were just too many leaps of logic for me to be awestruck with it, which is what I was preparing for given the talent involved (Crowe, Denzel, Scott and Zallian). If forced to give a rating at gunpoint we’d go with a 7/10.

Onto a special WGA strike version of the links…

Doesn’t it seem like they could strike and not picket?

Here’s what we’ve been looking for! A succinct yet detailed synopsis of how virtually every series will be effected by the strike.

Several showrunners, presidential candidates and actors were out picketing/speaking out with the WGA recently, still probably means little to nothing in terms of getting a new deal, but it’s a small moral victory at least. When Marc Cherry backs you, then the world will know your struggle.

Lost only has eight episodes complete for their pending season. Considering how plot heavy the series is, that could be an issue. The American audience is fickle and they like things to happen quickly and abruptly with their television, otherwise they get bored and eventually disinterested. No show embodies this mentality more so than Lost. So if they have an engorging hiatus mid-season, that could really cut into their viewership.

Sounds like the The Office is just collapsing in light of this strike, as I’m sure many series’ are, this series might not survive it given all the film careers the cast is certainly seeking.

Further evidence of Jon Stewart genuinely being a “good guy”: He’s paying his writing staff out of pocket for two weeks. This reminds me of The Simpsons episode where Apu kept giving his wife really extravagant gifts for Valentine’s Day, and every other husband in Springfield resented him for it because there wives felt comparatively under-appreciated. Congrats, Jon, on making your fellow late night counterparts who probably make ten times as much money as you look like self-involved louts.

Leno has decided to picket with his writing staff and is playing the humble man, Steve Carell is doing likewise, not sure if this is earth shattering or anything, but there it is.

With an excess of newfound time on his hands and a bevy of new material, Larry David has reportedly been contemplating doing two more seasons of Curb. This, in a currently downtrodden industry, is some good news.

And finally, over 32 million people watched me lose a large quantity of money on Sunday during the Colts-Patriots game. That is the power of the NFL my friends, its like a fourth branch of Government. One question to ponder for the rest of the day: Why does the Orlando Sentinel give a shit about this?

Back tomorrow with Survivor and South Park recaps.