Grid Effect

We apologize for the confidence inspiring snippet at the end of yesterday’s post in which we eluded to some potential links. We were hurried just to finish the responsibilities at our day job so Grid Effect had to take a backseat. This is to make amends, as it should be more than plentiful.

To follow up on our Weeds post from earlier today: here’s a brief interview with Justin Kirk, who plays Andy Botwin. It’s good to see someone actually talk to this guy out of character. For all we knew he was a ghost, or a robot. Or a ghost that posed as a robot. Either way, has he been a part of or acted in anything else that anyone is aware of? We haven’t seen or heard of anything, so we’re not ruling this out as a total ruse by the LA Times…Damn you, liberal media!

In case you weren’t able to figure it out on your own, The Daily Show didn’t merely set up and elaborate backdrop in studio, but they actually sent Rob Riggle to China for the Olympics. If you watch the show and didn’t pick up on this, I should probably tell you that when you add two and two together, it makes four. I know, some people will try and convince you it equals five, or three, or 238,000. But no, four is the answer you are looking for.

Friday Night Lights has hired some new members to the cast. Supposedly they move to Dillon because it is such an affluent community with endless job growth that everyone in the state is migrating towards. Also, they are bringing a freshman son with them to compete with Saracen for the QB-1 spot, because alleviating any pressure from Matt Saracen’s shoulders would be like not riding a malnourished racehorse with atrophied legs. It’s there, it has to be tortured.

Also joining Friday Night Lights this season, some actress from Deadwood will play Matt’s estranged mother from Oklahoma, if that’s not the actress who played Calamity Jane we’ll be disappointed. Also, if you didn’t know already, everything that happens with this series makes headlines. Jason Katims could give Kyle Chandler a playful noogie, and whatever paper is in Austin would be all over it.

More from the LA Times, this article concerning Mad Men and their take on high blood pressure. Apparently some doctors have been sequestered and agreed that the series is not accurate in their portrayal of the condition. I want and expect this series to be as accurate as possible, but does it have to be nitpicked over every single, minute detail? I was on a website the other day, and some of the commenters were complaining that the day The Defenders episode aired that was featured on Mad Men, couldn’t have possibly been the same day the show aired in 1962. I know The Sopranos for the most part wasn’t using historical or real life events inside a fictional work to move the plot, but it was never critiqued to the point that they were bringing in medical professionals to explain how Tony’s panic attacks were unrealistic. By the time the fourth or fifth season rolls around, I fear for the editors on Mad Men, who may have to deal with their own bout of panic disorders.

Speaking of Mad Men, one of my favorite aspects of the series — since every character is so well-developed and multi-faceted — is having virtual unknowns like Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss playing lead roles, thus making it easier to separate them from other characters they may have done if, say, Jason Bateman had taken the role of Don Draper. Now comes the news that Colin Hanks will guest star on the series, and unless he has a bag over his head or is in black-face, its going to be impossible to watch this episode and not be distracted by the kid from Orange County.

They kiiiinnnda look alike.

Trent Reznor might be coming to HBO, and we can assure you that the sacrifice of small animals will not be scarce, making all of his fans glee with delight. Actually, we imagine his backstage persona is more akin to that of Alice Cooper in Wayne’s World moreso than any decadent and depraved scenario we could imagine.

Bruce Springsteen is speculated to be the Superbowl halftime show in 2009. This is good, finally I have something to look forward to in the next six months. Apparently part of the evidence is Stevie Van Zandt has booked a party at the Hard Rock, because no one just attends the Superbowl to get drunk in overpriced venues. Nope, everyone, even the piss drunk fans stumbling from one watering hole to the next are there for work. Obviously they could be performing (it would be a recommended selection), but the rush to get the scoop on something so innocuous seems insane.

And finally, this kind of blew my mind: Brandon Young, who played the buttoned down, straight-laced, ambitious news reporter Mike Fletcher on The Wire, is focusing on his rap career. If this guy is a legitimate rap artist, then he is probably the next Brando. Not to overstep my boundaries or anything, but I’m probably more suited for a rap career than Fletcher ever was.

Back tomorrow with links or network preview or something.

And so here we are, two episodes in and I haven’t talked to anyone about anything else all week. Is this a pathetic waste of time and energy for someone in their mid-twenties? Probably. But the good news is we’ve curtailed all ambition solely for the purposes of writing about TV on the internet to a daily audience of roughly 10-15 people. It’s rewarding in its own right.

I hate to say it, but I think this might be the season that someone is murdered. Don couldn’t be more undermined, or some might say “emasculated” in these two episodes. Don Draper doesn’t strike us as the type of guy who is accustomed to being put through the ringer, and its showing in his temperament and health. If episode one was to show his increasing irrelevance, episode two served as evidence that it wasn’t an anomaly. Evidence:

-Increasing issues with his wife and subtle, indirect jabs between the two. If it weren’t for the kids he probably would have left in 1961.

-The standard way of doing business is becoming more cruel and modern, causing him great stress and a depression that seems to have set in about two years ago. I don’t think we’ve ever seen him so deflated as when he conceded defeat to avoid an argument with his wife. Basically this guy is a shell of his former self.

-A man without a country. we watched Cast Away and it has always reminded us of Don in a metaphorical sense, but now it the metaphor is almost literal. While he does engage in daily human interaction, he is either being scoffed at or ignored in all of them. That might as well have been Wilson he was talking to at the diner. His underlings who once looked up to him for guidance, now seem to resent him for one thing or another (sans Peggy and even after this episode, Pete still has great admiration for him, if not a need to please). Christ, even amongst the fab four (in this order: Bert, Roger, Duck, Don) he is the only one who still drinks (at least without a guilty conscious), which probably has something to do with why he is low man on the totem poll. Roger actually had to verbally halt him from attacking Duck in one way or another.

Speaking of which, Roger just seems over everything. Sure, he wants to make his money and not always in the most practical ways (see the American Airlines gamble). But he doesn’t seem overly pre-occupied with it. He also seems more human and relatable than he was all last season. Having a near fatal heart attack will do that to a man, I suppose. “Can I just fire everybody?” was only a half joke, and kind of the antithesis of, “why the fuck am I still here?”, but with the same implication.

Pete’s waffling on how to react to his father’s death was eerie, but managed to evoke sympathy from the viewer for the first time since probably “New Amsterdam”, the first and last time we saw Pete’s father (the episode was dedicated to the actor who died in an avalanche on a ski trip). It seems that for all Pete’s worldly privileges, one of them wasn’t grace, as he sells out his father seeking approval from Duck, who’s his third choice of mentor after his biological father and Don. It’s a proud moment for the Duck.

Weiner said one of the themes to this season will be the inability in people for change, and this was illustrated in “Flight 1″. Pete reacted to his father’s death, but the remorse was short term. It was basically Tony Soprano’s, “Everyday is a gift” pledge. It took him (maybe) five days to put his tragedy up for auction? And even then his primary concern seemed focused on his will, which was empty. Pete’s line to Roger, “everything is still the same”, really summarized his mixed feelings about the incident. And for whatever reason, that summarization really managed to creep me the fuck out. Probably because it was coming from Pete.

One sleeps with Joan Holloway at his own peril.

The mystery of Peggy’s child was brilliantly unveiled. It was surprising to hear that she had to be committed for some modern day bullshit, antiquated reason, hence her three month absence. I’m sure most of the audience assumed the time missed could be equated to child rearing, but if you unknowingly have a child in 1960 out of wedlock, you probably had a straight-jacket coming. We usually root for her so this was no different. We will not be phased by the medical bureaucrats of the early 60’s.

Her totally exploiting Paul’s friend in the hallway was uncalled for though, even if it was funny. It’s interesting to see how much she is like Don, especially now with a past that she wants to hide from everyone. Still, someone at Sterling Cooper had to be covering for her for the three months she was gone. Our guess is still Don, especially with how discrete he was about Pete’s dad. While he may be dying a slow death in a number of ways, that man can keep a secret like nobodies business.

Speaking of Paul, while he was a tad pretentious and fake at his beatnik party, we didn’t really see the motivation for Joan to be so incredulous about everything, especially towards the girlfriend. At this point she is nothing like Don in personality, but she is just as tragic of a figure. She’s living a life that she doesn’t want to meet everyone’s expectations of her. Glad to see the comeuppance though as everyone now knows she is 31, which is apparently ghastly if you’re a woman. The series kind of toyed with us in the sense that we felt bad for her that no one thought to remove the evidence.

Still no evidence of slipping from season one to two, nor do we expect to see any. We just wrote a thousand words on the episode and barely touched on the party, Duck, Francine or the Draper’s kids or the incredible historical accuracy of the episode (we wonder if someone remembered the tie in to the crash and John Glenn’s parade, or if research had to look it up). We’d say they are trying to pack too much into each episode, but the episode doesn’t appear jumbled or cluttered or hurried or sloppy, it flows with great ease making each scene more memorable than the last. Brilliant. Fucking. Episode.

Links to finish the week.

These Rescue Me mini-episodes are painfully difficult to discuss. For one, they’re only five minutes long. Anything that happens in five minutes on scripted TV drama that’s worth talking about usually has to be within a larger context. But when they do not talk at all (last week) or when dialog is minimal (last night) it really compounds the problem. The tale of Lieu’s stolen lunch is only so intriguing, it’s downright mind-numbingly boring if you didn’t watch it.

We will say that his exit line and insults directed at Probie, Tommy, Garrity and Needles was hysterical. And although it isn’t saying much, this was a significant improvement from the week before, but a series of groin shots would have been more interesting than last week’s suck fest. Did Lieu ever say why he kept leaving his food sitting by its lonesome in the kitchen? Who the fuck picks up seemingly discarded food from a table or food out of a fridge that is clearly a home packaged lunch? Let’s just move on.

And to what else…Links!

Some news from Real World sort of yesteryear, and unfortunately for me I actually know of the people involved: Danny and Melinda from the Austin season have gotten hitched. Danny, if you don’t recall, dealt with the death of a parent while on the series and someone sucker-punching him at a bar, busting his orbital bone. This probably made up the most trying time anyone has had on this show, ever. Yes, even more trying them when Greg would put shit in people’s beds during the most recent season. Though that was mentally devastating in its own right, I’m sure. Melinda isn’t nearly as memorable, but she was a hot blond, so her appearance seems like yesterday.

Mad Men is still alive and well in the media. While the Times recalls the 1962 plane crash used as a plot device in the most recent episode and dissects the reality of it;  Entertainment Weekly reports that the guy who plays Harry (Rich Sommer) has been cast for The Office, which we are inexplicably giddy about. What would be the film equivalent of this? Maybe if Woody Allen had turned up in Belly.

His role won't differ as much from "Mad Men" to "The Office"...every character on that show is pussy whipped just like Harry.

In terms of the series itself, ratings dipped for the sophomore episode from the season premiere. We don’t really understand this phenomena, but it happened with every series we have ever monitored the ratings for (AD, The Sopranos, The Wire). We assume it has something to do with chomping at the bit to watch the premiere, then being content to either record it or watch it on demand for the rest of the season. Or it could just be people tuning in to see what all the hype is about, not knowing the back story (which you have to, to follow all of the aforementioned series’) then tuning it out. Either way it doesn’t really matter. As the article points out, Mad Men’s target audience is higher income families that appeal to sponsors. So as long as they have reason to believe that’s whose tuning in, the series should be around for as long as Weiner wants it to be.

Want to see presidential candidates make cringe-worthy attempts to be funny and appeal to voters via a campaign for a competition that no one really watches? Then here’s your chance! Just how much is Obama like Carcetti? And why isn’t David Simon ever asked to explain this? We’re still holding out for a more uplifting conclusion to the Obama story, but that show has us too disenfranchised with politicians, especially when they bear such rhetorical similarity to a character on the series.

Bob Saget is upset over some of the jokes pertaining to the Olsen twins at his roast. I am assuming the remarks he felt that crossed the line were ones referencing his experience with the twins on Full House. Maybe so, but at least he knows how to generate an audience. Nothing is better than a roast, in which the person being roasted feels disrespected or offended in some way, especially if that person is Bob Saget. So yes, we will be watching.

And finally, some MTV reality broad named Lauren Conrad will present at the Emmy’s. I’m sure the people in the industry who take this shit mightily seriously will just love to see a symbol that threatens everything they work for. We suspect she will have some self-deprecating joke written for her, which will be totally awkward. The thing about self-deprecating humor, is you can only participate in it, in a public setting, if people actually have respect for you. When no one does, everyone stifles laughter because the self-deprecation echoes the thoughts of the audience. Bang up job, Emmy’s. I’m giving it about a 70% chance that the poor little rich girl in question ends up running off the stage in tears.

Probably it for today unless something catches our eye. Just a reminder that Hard Knocks premieres tonight, we’ll have a brief writeup tomorrow morning.

Our friend with Showtime is out of town, so we never got around to watching Weeds last night. We’ll try to watch it at lunch and try to post about it this afternoon. In the meantime — you could probably guess — here are some links.

Oprah Winfrey brings in #315 million more than the second place television personality, Simon Cowell, who rakes in about $50 million. Do you think if they ever get together at some upper-crust social function she mocks him and his measly annual earnings? Maybe she pulls pranks on him or has him barred from these events all together. And really, do these lists need to keep being released every six months? We all know that Oprah is the highest earner in television. As it is and always will be, so long as she remains on television.

The only man who will ever be able to make Oprah happy.

The backlash on Mad Men’s success and popularity has begun, and we are barely surprised. The writer here is saying that Weiner’s portrayal of the early sixties is done so in a way for us to feel superior to it. I guess he is referring to everyone who watches and enjoys Mad Men, I’m really not certain. Obviously when everyone likes something, they all like it for the same reason. And the reason everyone likes Mad Men? Vindication. Any time something gains traction like this series has, there will always be a couple naysayers who attempt to derail it. I can never tell if it is a genuine divergence of opinion or if it’s an article written to attract an outraged, vitriolic audience. In most cases it’s probably both.

The Same thing happened with Dark Knight, and the small sector of people calling it a failed effort were claiming its popularity was based on some sort of bandwagon. Then the fans of the movie were claiming they were only saying that because the critic either “didn’t get it” or was attempting to make a name for himself. I will say this, however, in this website’s humble opinion, we loved Dark Knight but there is a lot more that you can criticize about that film than this series.

I mentioned yesterday that HBO’s upcoming vampire series True Blood had potential, and it appears it is getting positive feedback from focus groups. Albeit very cliched, predictable positive feedback. But HBO is desperate at this point and will take anything they can write off as a success. We doubt John From Cincinnati had this type of focus group reaction.

And finally, ex-wife of Charlie Sheen and notoriously ridiculous, semi-actress Denise Richards is selling her mansion for $4.25 million. It is amazing how someone who actually has a property like that to sell can be so fucking miserable half the time. Honest to God, if anyone ever agrees to marry her again they better be homeless or an ex-convict; otherwise she isn’t worth the trouble.

We’ll try to get to Weeds later. No promises.

Let’s Twist Again, indeed. I’m going to be honest: I am downright giddy to have this series back. As far as I know a twenty-six year old male isn’t allowed to be “giddy”, I think it’s against state law in Ohio. But its hard to contain my elation for something else I can respect on television besides a miniseries that will end its run at the end of the month. There essentially wasn’t anything we didn’t like about Sunday’s episode. The pacing, direction, writing, acting were all top notch and we love the potential for the multiple storylines. Read about the season one finale here.

Of course the man of the hour takes precedent, for what is this series without Don Draper. It’s still fantastic, but there is really no replacement. If we ever feel the man is in peril to the point that his life is at risk, rest assured that he’ll live.

Anyhow, it appears him and Betty have switched roles. Don is now the passive one, seeking approval and eager to please his now indifferent wife. Couple that with growing insecurity at work and you have a bitter old man forcing twenty-somethings to take their hats off in elevators. We’re not certain how this will work out for Don, given the youth movement that is just getting underway. One would think that for all his talent and power he wields at Sterling Cooper that more of these issues would fall his way. But you can go all the way back to “New Amsterdam”, when Bert Cooper usurped his firing of Pete Campbell, he occasionally gets the short end of the stick. He’s probably rethinking that agency with Pan-Am after Duck got all uppity with his whole “adapt with the times” approach.

But yes, we are witnessing the opening stages of a midlife crisis. Remember, Don Draper is 36, Dick Whitman is quite likely in his early forties. Interviewing entitled twenty-four year olds and coming up impotent with your wife on Valentines day only to be replaced by an avocado stuffed with crab can create a certain amount of anxiety in a man. Especially when you’ve sworn off strange for the betterment of your marriage, even though it still seems mired in strife and seething resentment.

Betty has her own bed of issues but seems incapable of coping. She’s, uh, got an itch that her husband can’t scratch and she’s been conditioned to ignore. As indicated by riding the horse, envying her courtesan friend and misleading the car repair man, she’s in quite the pickle. Not only does she seem to be resenting her husband, you can feel the disdain pouring out of her while her slightly obese daughter practices Ballet for Don. If she doesn’t call her “stout” by the end of the season, then its only because she’s (the daughter) too young.

So yeah, a dysfunctional fifties marriage trapped in 1962 seems to be what we’re watching, and it is bursting at the seems with everything left unsaid. I guess the most obvious cliffhanger is who did Don send the book and poem to. I think it’s safe to assume it is Rachel, but ruling out Midge seems shortsighted, as she would obviously go for something so sentimental.

That is indeed mildly intriguing, but the question of the day for Grid Effect is the same one on everyone’s mind at Sterling Cooper: What exactly is Peggy’s backstory. I mean, we all know she is hiding the fact she had Pete’s baby from everyone (including Pete), but what exactly did she do with him/her, and who is covering for her? In a way she’s an entitely new character. A new position, a pioneer of sorts of SC, and a something of a mystery. Essentially, she’s the Don Draper for season two. All we are waiting for is Harry to say, “No one’s ever lifted that rock, she could be Batwoman for all we know”.

What's with mouse ears over here? She looks like she might eat her coworkers spouse. That would be odd.

Peggy even has her own Pete Campbell in Joan, who asserts her authority over the administrative employees like Bert over the creative department. We love how she handles herself on the business floor, especially in the face of one employee abusing another (Peggy-the woman with her old job), but she seems to be over-compensating with the copier and authoritarian tone she takes with everyone. Clearly she isn’t terribly infatuated with this new spousal prospect and we suspect she dislikes Peggy outranking her just as much as potentially marrying some doctor.

She does seem a little tempermental, thought. Something you could seldom accuse Don of. Of course, she has more reason to be. As seen when she was in close quarters with the other copywriters for an extended period of time and they all still see her as a secretary. She seems to hold back with them and take it out on the female underlings, mainly because she can but also to possibly be accepted by her peers.

Joan and Peggy isn’t the only office rivalry taking place. We seem to be witnessing one develop between Don and Duck, or potentially Don and Roger, and somehow Pete will be thrown into the fold. Duck seems to have the communication skills of Don and the foresight of Pete, but lacks the clout to exert any control. Everything he fought for on Sunday came way of Don’s begrudging “generosity”. This, more so than anything, has the potential to really be a highlight of the series. Exemplifying the shifting times through the employees of an antiquated Madison Avenue Ad Firm is the staple of this series, as we shift further into the 60’s, it is only going to get better.

Other notes from “For Those Who Think Young”:

-Paul seems to be taking to the Bohemian crowd, I can’t imagine anyone with such unkempt facial hair in 1962 isn’t. Also, sporting a beard? Salvatore. But his is in the form of a mistakenly adoring wife. I feel bad for the lot of them.

-Harry has reconciled with his wife, much like Francine has with her husband. You can kind of understand why Helen Bishop, the divorcee from last season, was such an outcast: She actually has a backbone.

-The White House tour really seemed to draw everyone’s ire, didn’t it?

-One note about the copier. In the pilot episode when Pete stole Don’s report from research out of his trash and presented its findings in the pitch meeting with the tobacco company from North Carolina, Don called him on it by saying, “…And its not like there is some magical machine that makes exact copies of things”. This was almost as good of a callback to season one as the usage of “Let’s Twist Again”.

Seeing the evolution that is about to take place in the pitch room between Duck, Don, Peggy & Pete should be fascinating, and that is a small fraction of this series at this point. We have an array of multi-faceted characters and themes that could last well beyond the thirteen episodes we’re about to be privy too. Stay tuned.

Probably it for today, maybe some links later.

For the second week in a row, we’re most likely going to forgo our promise to (re)write a Thursday night preview that 451 Press swallowed whole two Thursdays ago. At least for now. We might come back with it this afternoon, but no one puts any stock in us actually writing two posts in one day, so why bother? Instead, there is an abundance of deserving news items today, so we’ll opt for that instead. It’s rare we are happy to do these posts.

Alright, this isn’t technically one of them, but Russell Brand is apparently not allowed to use the words “Scientology” or “cunt” when hosting the MTV awards. It would seem Brand’s reality TV and journalism addled mind have either abandoned or were never introduced to the concept of discretion. It’s this crazy notion that when something is said behind closed doors, it is somewhat of an unspoken agreement that it will stay that way. Not that I’m defending MTV, I hope Brand brings them down like Enron. But I doubt we have the same aspirations for his performance.

Is this guy constantly in character, or is he really like this?

NBC now resenting his inexperience and poor performance, is apparently going all Don Draper on Ben Silverman. And now his ass is on the line. See, I told you they would collude to get rid of him. We might have to do an epilogue. But I find it amazing that NBC is under the impression, or at least looking for a scapegoat, and feel it is best to pin it on Silverman. Does anyone who follows this noise really feel he is responsible for their shortcomings?

Some old curmudgeon over at the Huffington Post who has no idea what teenagers want, is telling us what teenagers want. But most importantly, she seems to believe they do not want Gossip Girl, or at least are incapable of relating to it. First of all, who gives a fuck? Appealing to teens is the business of corporations and progressive, negligent parents. Secondly, doesn’t this series with ITunes and everything else draw an enormous audience? I can just about assure our HuffPo correspondent that it isn’t geriatric men tuning into see Blake Lively’s latest escapades.

It seems Miss Wells wants to give teenagers more credit for their intelligence than they deserve. I, however, prefer to look at the numbers. And while this series might not appeal to every single teenager on the face of the planet, it obviously fits a frighteningly large niche that warrants the show’s existence.

Tons of as of now unreported (on this site) Mad Men news to go around as always. Namely, the constant promotion actually worked, as they registered about two million viewers for the season two premiere on Sunday. Well done, people! If you were one of the respectable two million or just considerably old and want to watch the Jackie Kennedy White House tour, here it is, in all its nostalgic glory. Last but not least, here is Charlie Rose interviewing Jon Hamm (Don/Dick), John Slattery (Roger Sterling) and Mathew Weiner (creator). Its not exactly a barrel of laughs, but interesting none the less.

And finally, HBO has greenlit a(nother) series from Mark Wahlberg entitled, How To Make It In America. If his answer goes beyond “have rock hard abs” then we’re not going to be able to take it seriously. Because if we recall correctly, Wahlberg got his start as a poor man’s Vanilla Ice who danced around in his underwear to the enjoyment of millions of teenage girls. He’s basically the male equivalent of Britney Spears with a little less initial success, and a little more determination and focus.*

*= It’s a fictional series, but I find it ironic all the same.

Maybe back with a preview later.

Now that, my friends, was a television night. Not the type where we sit down and watch any random show because we’re lazy and have nothing better to do. But the type that we actually waited in anticipation for all day (week) and it paid off tremendously.

We’ll post our Generation Kill review/recap later this afternoon, so just a few quick words about Mad Men. All we can say is that it lived up to all the expectations that we had placed upon it. The stylization was virtually identical to the first season, with a little less music and a truckload of Sopreano-isms, we’ll call them.

From the opening montage (which brilliantly used “Let’s Twist Again” as a callback to the usage of “Lets Do The Twist” in season one, an indicator of the year we’re in, and a shout out t all the fans who enjoyed the series so immensely last summer) that reminded us of the “Seven Souls” montage from season six, to the color palette, to Don Draper made a young kid take off his hat in an elevator (which Tony did while eating out with Ari); lets just say that if you didn’t watch the first season or have any idea who was involved behind the camera, but were an avid fan of The Sopranos, then you would probably notice the influence.

Someone's thrilled to finally lose the fat suit.

We don’t want to delve too much into plot, but all the inter-office friction (Don-Duck, Peggy-Joan, Pete-everybody) is setting up for a great storyline and thematic season. Anyhow, we’ll try to make this the last we say about it before Friday’s recap. Here are a few morning links for you while we try to collect our thoughts.

In a stunning move that wouldn’t shock anyone with a pulse or the simplest understanding of Nielsen ratings, HBO has canceled Tell Me You Love Me. Maybe I’m underwhelmed because I was under the assumption it had been canceled already, but this is truly the sign of a rebound for the network. Just get fucking rid of all the self-important melodrama of upper-mddle class white folks and bring us something people who aren’t going through divorces can appreciate.

It seems CBS has rearranged their scheduling, switching America’s Greatest Dog with the Big Brother eviction show. Jesus. Just the fact that they have this as an option, and is something that at least one other person spent a lot of time contemplating is extremely depressing. Can you imagine having a career extolling the virtues of either of these shows, in which you have to consider their respective strengths, who they appeal to and which is the preferred night to air each show on seems like a sign of the apocalypse.

Dexter is apparently only entering its third season, which is amazing because I’m pretty sure I’ve been hearing about how genius this show is for six or seven years now. But supposedly this season is about emotional development. Why do people watch this series like he is a normal person. When we watched The Sopranos or even The Wire, the murderers and thugs aren’t portrayed as noble dignitaries, nor does the majority of the audience interpret them as such. But for whatever reason, everyone watches Dexter and actively roots for his well-being. I’ve only seen a few episodes of the series, but isn’t he just reigning in his psychopathic tendencies and saving them for supposed criminals who’ve managed to escape justice? And isn’t this only the case because his dad taught him how to do this? Whatever. Maybe I’m biased because I don’t want to ante-up for Showtime.

Leonardo DiCaprio, probably as influential and powerful actor as there is in Hollywood, wants to make a Twilight Zone movie. Let’s see, it is late July…odds are this thing will be shooting in October.

And finally, Hard Knocks began filming last week and will debut on August 6th. This season is at the Cowboys mini-camp, which should be an upgrade from the dreadful Kansas City season of 2007. Anyhow, I believe the 6th is a Wednesday. Meaning for at least a couple weeks we’ll have a different series to write about on Monday (Generation Kill), Tuesday (Weeds), Wednesday (Rescue Me mini-episodes, but still), Thursday (Hard Knocks) and Friday (Mad Men). Yes, it’s good to be back.

Generation Kill recap later today.

Absolutely nothing on television last night, we promised a nightly preview on Sunday for today, but don’t have time for it right now, maybe later this afternoon. Anyhow, here are some links.

I can’t imagine The Wire is heavily promoted on the other side of the pond, but for everyone enamored with the sophistication of Brits, season five debuted over there to a paltry 38,000 viewers. See, just like Americans, Europeans would probably rather watch Wipeout. I don’t know what the correct proportionality would be, but it at least scored around a Nielsen rating of one here in the states, so at least Americans can at least drop whatever intellectual inferiority complex they might have had with our ally, or at least when it comes to television. We’re still collectively retarded. Much like every shortcoming in Europe, I’m somehow pinning this one on soccer hooliganism.

Alright, if you didn’t see Mad Men when it originally aired, or download it off Itunes or Bit Torrent, or catch the marathon this past Sunday, or see any of the reruns in between the original run and the marathon, or haven’t watched it on demand; you can now watch the season one finale on their website. What a monumental service they’re providing. Don’t get me wrong, my nuts are tingling with the thought of Sunday’s season two premiere. But if they don’t open to at least 5 million viewers, then all this promotion has been a total fucking waste. $25 million. Does anyone know how many pilots you can produce for that kind of scratch? But no, Mr. Weiner needs a painted subway cart to advertise his critically acclaimed series that was tailor made for a small but loyal demographic in the first place.

The creator or whatever of ER intends to ask George Clooney to return for a cameo, and doubts the film star will agree but isn’t deterred. I’m guessing John Wells was the affable nerd who wanted to date the head cheerleader, and asked her out after telling everyone else he was going to ask her out but she’ll probably say no but then she says yes out of a sense of obligation to not appear like a total bitch to the rest of her peers. I’m on to you, John Wells.

You want to catch this hunk of man meat Mr. Wells? You're going to have to drop the pity party.

Grey’s Anatomy consulted GLAAD for how to handle an upcoming storyline about a lesbian couple. I understand this is as much a publicity stunt as anything to compensate for the whole Isiah Washington thing, but wouldn’t the advice just be to not make them one-dimensional? Like, don’t gay people ever get tired of watching gay and lesbian characters that have nothing to offer aside from commentary about proclivities for fucking people of the same gender? Is creating an Omar Little or a Kima Greggs, gay characters who just happen to be gay all that difficult?

And finally, Joss Whedon’s new series was all the rage at the critics press tour this year. It is called Dollhouse, and will serve as a prequel to something. I don’t know, I’m not reading that full interview. I’ve never seen Firefly (but hear Christina Hendricks is in it, and since we would be entertained watching her do manual labor, we can certainly make room for a series she is in) so I can’t comment on it. I’ve seen a few episodes of Buffy — because my roommate’s girlfriend junior year was obsessed with the show, and he was a total pussy, so she always ended up watching it at our place — and fucking loathed it.

Maybe I went into the show with a preset notion to hate it because I couldn’t stand my roommates girlfriend, but the production on it required a bigger budget than whatever network was responsible for financing the series. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be so superficial. But the fight scenes looked like something out of Gymkata, and that was a bit distracting. But hey, you want to watch Dollhouse? Be my guest. But don’t come crying to me the first time you see a woman holding a knife and a head and bodiless foot flashes onto the screen and kicks the knife away.

Back with a preview of tonight’s airings.

We’ll get to a few links in a moment. We have to. Because really, what’s this website without recycled news items? It doesn’t exist, really. But just a few quick words about the Rescue Me mini-episode (I almost typed “minisode” without the quotations, imagine my embarrassment). It had some funny context and it’s always enjoyable to see Mike mocked for his Forrest Gump like intelligence, but it was fairly predictable what was going to happen after Mike managed to spell “plethora” correctly.

There’s really nothing else to say about this five minute installment of Rescue Me. It certainly paled in comparison to last week’s. But that was masterful. So, if that is the litmus test, I’m afraid all of these will qualify as failures from here on out. Sorry, Tolan and Leary, you should have set the bar lower so early in your mini-episode run.

Onto some links:

Ebert and Roeper have replacements and I’ve never heard of them before, nor am I even certain they’re professional critics. But here is an unmerciful assessment of the two new hosts. I get the impression that the it will resemble an entertainment news show in the same vein as Entertainment News or Access Hollywood more so than anything related to film criticism. And while it’s a pity, come late August I’ll no longer be forced to stay up until 1am on Sunday nights to watch movie reviews. Silver lining, I suppose. Anyhow, If these two do end up doing film reviews together a la Ebert and Roeper, this will probably end with me saying I’d rather watch trailers for a half hour.

I hate commenting on gossip, but In probably the most random Hollywood friendship or whatever documented in the history of that fucking town, Jon Hamm is informed enough on the status of Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman to doll out updates to tabloids. This is kind of like finding out your girlfriend is sleeping with a midget, only more unexpected. In other news, Kathy Bates is now dating the kid from Dick Tracy.

Elizabeth Berkley, most noted for her roles in Showgirls and as Jesse “I’m off my rocker on caffeine pills” Spano on Saved By The Bell; has been cast into the final season of The L Word. Apparently they haven’t seen her work or they’re looking for the worst actress possible so it is easier to denigrate the straight woman. Whatever, if behooves me to even try to understand this show.

Rosie Perez, long noted for her stand against lowbrow film and television, has accepted a role on Lipstick Jungle. Which makes sense, because it’s so universally recognized as the second coming of Shakespeare. We’ll let it slide because she’s also in the upcoming Pineapple Express.

So apparently NBC and Greg Daniels are torn as to whether they should do an Office spin-off, create a series specifically for Amy Poehler, both, or turn the two ideas into one. The latter seems the most practical, but not for us, only for people who find Amy Poehler funny, which in my non-scientific observations is strictly women ages 16-35. If nothing else, that’s a loyal TV demographic.

And finally, Jay Leno is done next memorial day as host of The Tonight Show, we imagine Conan O’Brien will replace him shortly thereafter. Meanwhile, Jimmy Fallon will start in early Spring of 2009. Um, we’re not really sure what to make of any of this, but in short: NBC is replacing hack, one-liner specialist and horrid interviewer Jay Leno, with an underachieving comedic actor in Jimmy Fallon, who has no experience in this field.  Bang up job, NBC. Now Steve Schrippa is going to be out of a job in less than a year.

There is a slew of worthwhile news items on the docket today, so we’re going to try and divvy them up into two of three posts. Anything less would just be undignified.

If you want to know the premise for any and every plot in FNL’s third season, then here’s your type of column. I’ve always wondered why the broadcast network series are generally so loose lipped about the developments of future seasons while the cable series’ basically have a death warning should any cast or crew member reveal anything to anyone. Given, nothing is given away other than where the upcoming season will begin, but it’s still so much information.

We always imagined you were a plot device, sorry to see you go, Lyla's chaste boyfriend.

Ever wondered how Weeds decided to blow up the entire series and take it south? I kind of assumed that after the third season it was evident they were out of ideas, so they could have taken it to Antarctica for all I cared, so long as they tried something different. But apparently there was greater incentive to switch gears. Hmm, color me surprised.

The Wire, Mad Men and 30 Rock took home the top prizes at the Critics Choice Awards. See, these winners are quite similar to the Emmy nominations, but no one will ever mention it, because the pink elephant in the room is the absence of The Wire with the Emmy’s. But still: progress.

Lorne Michaels is now blaming the media’s love affair for why his Barack Obama skits are so noticeably unfunny. Um, there are always politicians that the media fawns over, it has never been a problem in the past. Part of SNL’s job is to make him mockable, not wait for the media or the politician himself to beat you to the punch. Good lord, what ever happened to SNL?

And finally, if you’re into this sort of thing, Paul Lieberstein, writer and actor who plays Toby on The Office, married a college professor over this past week. Apparently no one gave Paul the memo that when you are doing something professionally in Hollywood, you are supposed to marry the student and not the professor.

That’s all we have the energy for at the moment, back with more links shortly.

We’re not sure how pithy we’ll keep it today. It is fairly boring at work so we might just continue scribing nonsense until the phone rings, someone calls our name, we run out of topics or we decide to finally go sexually harass the new girl down the hall. We’ve been procrastinating on that and it’s about time we upheld our image. If she thinks she can just waltz around here and do the job she is paid to do without being denigrated in some way, she has another thing coming.

Kristen Bell, also known as the hot blond in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as Sarah Marshall, will be joining the cast of Heroes this upcoming season. At least if you’re like me and detest this series, you now have incentive to watch. Then again, if you are like me, you’d also rather bungee jump with no cord than watch more than five minutes of something like Heroes, which I thought was canceled for some reason.

Everyone can breath a sigh of relief, because The Simpsons will be make it to a 21st season. And thank God, because if I had to go through life knowing there were only twenty seasons of The Simpsons, I just might have to go find a life worth living, and now I don’t need too. At least not now. But mark my words, I’m going to finish that script one of these days.

Sienna Miller appears to have a proclivity for melodramatic actors on ham-fisted ABC dramas, as she has now been courted successfully by two of the three brothers on Brothers and Sisters. I’m sure it’s just a big coincidence that a woman who could date practically any guy she wanted too fell for two guys who are working together on the same series for the better part of the year. But there are two other theories that might be at play here: 1) She’s dating the new one as some sort of revenge on the first one, or 2) Not that this series in any way resembles an actual family, but she is living out some sort sick, elaborate, incestual fantasy that reminds us Deliverance for some reason, can’t figure out why, though. Anyways, I think theory number two is most likely.

Really, I shouldn’t be so judgmental. Guys usually don’t go for women like this.

If you care about this sort of thing, this guy is predicting that Mad Men will clean up at the Emmy’s. We didn’t read much of the article, but we assume the theory is related to the fact that many of the Emmy voters grew up around the same time the series is set (early 60’s), are extremely liberal and like seeing their mystique of this time period stripped away. Either way, I hope he is right. Although, I wouldn’t be too disappointed if this were another Wire situation with the Emmy’s completely ignoring what is the best series on television. Again.

Also, because we can never have just one Mad Men link, Jon Hamm describes the second season “like swimming a marathon underwater“. Funny, that sounds like something his character might say, only not terribly clever. I’m assuming it means that it is long and at a tepid pace, but were to lazy to think much more about it. Still, a good interview from Mo Ryan.

A little FX news before we tip on out:

Nip Tuck creator Ryan Murphy says the series has three more seasons in it before they will retire it in 2011. Wow, that doesn’t seem like much if you haven’t watched the series at all, but I would actually subtract four and a half from what he plans on doing from here on out. The last season was such a jumbled mess of dead end plotlines, red herrings and soap-opera contrivances that we have a hard time believing that audience plans to come back for a sixth season. Sure, we were never grand appreciators of the series, but the difference between seasons 1 through four and five is virtually unprecedented.

The FOX cable network also purchased some comedy series called Testees, which just by its name is sure to be awful. But on the bright side, in that same link you will see they picked up 39 more episodes of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. We assume that’s on top of this season debuting in a couple months, so we have four more seasons of Sunny to look forward to. That will make any soulless TV fan’s day.

Alright, we’re done for the day, back tomorrow with some links most likely.

There is way too much news from the weekend to bring it all to one post, so we’ll limit it to six or so links as to keep things relatively organized.

It has been speculated ever since his divorce, and is now official. Larry David is bringing back Curb Your Enthusiasm for a seventh season in the first quarter of 2009. We assume the film he was doing with Woody Allen is all wrapped up, hence the announcement. No word yet as to whether or not the Blacks will be part of the cast, but we are kind of assuming — nay, expecting — they will be. This was announced on Friday and we’re still giddy about it, that’s why we’re winners.

This seems like too much sense that we assumed it would never happen.

Elizabeth Moss and January Jones claim to have restarted smoking again as a result of being on Mad Men, which isn’t all that surprising. If you were actually addicted to smoking, a picture of a banana or some gay porn could probably get you back on the wagon, much less being around take after take of people smoking herbal cigarettes while you’re at work. Either way, it’s a small price to pay to be apart of the series. Before this January Jones was best known for being in American Wedding, which was like the sixth installment of the American Pie franchise. A franchise we loathe of the highest order.

David Simon is not making a Wire movie. Saying, “It would be like dragging a flag through the mud.” Well then, that should put all rumors, speculation and ideas to rest. Particularly the ideas, I have to imagine that David Simon shooting down one of your scripts is akin to Michael Jordan telling you to go out for track and field instead of basketball.

Speaking of David Simon — and the fact that we’re still pretty enamored with what we watched last night — Generation Kill was screened at Camp Pendleton prior to its airing, and for anyone questioning its authenticity, you should know that it was widely received by the several hundred marines in attendance. This instills more anticipation than any review we could ever read, because it is coming from the ground floor.

David Simon is just all over the newswire these days, as his new series about Jazz musicians in New Orleans, Treme, will star Wendell Pierce a New Orleans native and Wire alumnus himself. This news, beyond all else, is just fantastic. Are we wrong to hope that he also has a casual, borderline destructive drinking problem?

And finally, more good news, Martin Scorcese is bringing his talents to HBO for a series about the corruption that plagues/plagued Atlantic City. We live by few rules, but if it involves Scorcese, corruption, crime and legalized gambling then we make a point to see whatever it is.

Back with a Weeds review/recap and some more links tomorrow.

Some links to end the work week.

More Mad Men news: Reportedly there are life-size images of Don Draper on a train that runs to and from Times Square and Grand Central Station. First off, anyone who would go out of there way to look at artwork of a TV character on a subway cart should probably get a hobby or some other interest before Darwinism gets the better of you.

Secondly, I’m sure the cart will stay in mint condition. Not because it’s on an NYC subway or anything, everyone knows those are havens of model ethical behavior, but because 1.1 million people watch the show every week. We all know what a deep passion high school kids who tag subway carts have for 1960 atmospherics that 1.1 million people watch every week. Naturally they will know exactly what they’re looking at and treat it with the utmost respect.

It’s so authentic they don’t even allow black people on it.

I think at this point it is safe to say that the $25 million marketing campaign was totally worth it. Because while Mad Men is categorized as a current “it” show (translation: something that everyone in inner-circles talks about but no one outside of those circles watches), at least one reporter seems to find everything and everyone involved with the series devoid of personality. I’m all for cynicism. Fuck, this blog thrives off of it. But this reporter seems like the Jay Mariotti of entertainment critics.

Despite previous reports, the Mad Men five season plan is not set in stone. In other words, if AMC or some other larger network throws enough money at me I’ll totally sell out my as of now masterpiece. Obviously I’m kidding. But thanks anyhow Mathew Weiner, for making me look like a dipshit. I like how a report can come about speculating about the future of a series, then a completely contradicting report can come from a different publication but the same source. It looks like whoever was responsible for the the previous report, basically took their interpretation of it an ran wild, instead of asking clarification from a reasonably vague Weiner. Just how drunk are they getting at this press tour?

If you think I’m being too crass, something similar happened with a reported riff between Evan Wright, David Simon and a dispute over writing credits for Generation Kill. It’s a he said-she said betweem Wright and the writer of course, but is there anything valid coming out of this press tour? The whole thing is like a giant hoax. If I was on either side of this tour , the media or the talent, I’d be half expecting an empty room with a nothing but an inflatable clown doll when I showed up to a Q&A.

Also on the HBO front, because nothing ever ends when it should, Ricky Gervais is now saying that Extras might be in line for a return to the airwaves. Not that we would mind, we think the entire series run totaled maybe sixteen episodes as the British are wont to do. Still, this is like Elway returning to the NFL in that it’s the last retired series we would ever expect to see new episodes of. Seinfeld is due for a comeback before Extras.

See you on Monday with a review/recap of the first installment of Generation Kill.

We’ll go back to our roots and make this post a plethora of links instead of extrapolating on one news item like we’ve been doing recently. Not for any nostalgic reasons, but nothing we could find deserves its own post and we’ll be damned if we’re going to compromise our integrity for the sake of consistency, alright?

Roger Ebert waxes sentimentally about Wit, an old HBO original movie about a woman dying from ovarian cancer starring Emma Thompson. Guy has balls. It must be painfully difficult to write about such subject matter in his situation. We’re still waiting for him to come back to television, because while we like how A.O. Scott has recommended two television seasons as his DVD picks of the week (Wire season four and Mad Men), he can’t hold a candle to Mr. Ebert.

Office webisodes (a much preferred homogenization of words to “minisodes”) are supposed to kick off today, but the newest one has yet to be posted. We’ve never watched these and we’re not sure why. Probably has something to do with the fact that The Office already produces twenty-two episodes a season, a significant chunk of which are an hour long. Oh well, now that we’ve linked to the site, we’ll probably watch all of them in one sitting over some donuts and milk (I’m twelve). Man, writing for this site is so personally rewarding.

You’re not going to believe this, but that mean old fuck who hosts Hell’s Kitchen doesn’t like what I’m assuming he considers intrusive questioning. Wow. He always seems so even-keeled and understanding. I can’t believe he would just curse like that. If this was 1992 and he somehow made it passed the FCC, my parents wouldn’t let me watch his show after this incident.

In a move that has shocked the world, the whore sleeping with the sleazebag former New York State Governor is heading out to Hollywood for a stab at reality television. It’s almost like, a girl with no discernible talent or ambition, who slept with rich and powerful men for large sums of money, actually has a deep-seeded desire to be in the limelight. How immoral. Not the whole prostitution thing, but using your prostitution to garner fame. Having sex with strangers for money is supposed to be one of the more honest trades left in this crazy workaday world, and now there’s all these ulterior motives. It sickens me what we’ve become.

Denise Richard’s neighbors are upset over her new reality series, as it is a huge disruption on the neighborhood. They claim, “This is a gated community, not a zoo”. Umm, you live next to Denise Richards, who used to live with Charlie Sheen. If anything your community has always been a zoo, and they just killed off all the wildcats. Either way, you live in a gated community, and while it might be a hassle and unfair of me to suggest this, but everyone assumes you have the means to move to another gated community.

Asked for further comment, the neighbors said, “If I have to see that heathen or her camera crew one more time on the way to the monocle store, we’ll make sure she never has that moat built around her estate. You can be sure of that.”

In conclusion, no one will ever feel sorry for you when you’re rich and complaining about something innocuous happening inside your ivory tower. I hope your yard workers take an extra twenty minutes next time they are working for pinto beans and burn your house down. Oh, and also? Denise Richards is a fucking twatbag with little to no redeemable value, but it doesn’t make these neighbors any more tolerable.

Entourage is quickly developing the best cast ever from shows that aren’t theirs. First it was Jamie-Lynn Sigler, and now it is Jeffrey Tambor. Looks like Tambor will be playing himself, I didn’t bother to read the article for Sigler, but it would make sense. If so her character on Sopranos will be referenced at hyper-speed.

Alright, I’m starting to tire of the over-saturation of Mad Men, but we feel obligated to inform of any and all news about the series since we are such avid fans. So here goes:

-Mathew Weiner has a five season plan that he doesn’t intend on exceeding. This is generally a good thing, The Wire and The Sopranos both had beginnings and ends in mind when they started out, this is why we put Mad Men in that caliber. Unlike Lost, 24 or even Rescue Me, who both seem to be making it up as they go.

-The second season will premiere on Valentine’s Day in 1962. So, five seasons, each with roughly two years in between seasons, sounds like the final season will take place in 1970 after Woodstock and the tail-end of the hippy-era. I, for one, find that to be a good stopping point.

-According to Weiner, the first season set in 1960 was similar to the year it aired. He warns of more parallelism between 2008 and the second season. He even drops the upcoming presidential election. Which is odd because the Nixon-Kennedy election of 1960, at least in our eyes, is eerily similar to Obama-McCain.

And finally, Peter Bogdonavich — who for whatever reason seems to be a go to voice on all things Sopranos related — wants to make sure no one gets their hopes up or down, and assures us that a Sopranos movie will in all likelihood never happen. We had no idea that it had even been hinted at in the past calendar year, but it’s good to know that something I wasn’t expecting will probably reach my expectations. Whew, that’s a relief.

A few more links to close out the day. We’re not trying to say that we are beholden to the concept, in fact more than anything else in the world we would like to distance ourselves from the posting format. But, even though we’re elated it’s 4th of July weekend, it doesn’t make us anymore creative. As Stringer Bell might say, same as it ever was.

You’re not going to believe this, but studies indicate that women comprise 85% of ABC’s online viewing audience. And here I was all this time, thinking the traditional alpha male fell in love with shows like October Road, Eli Stone & Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. The times they are a changin’, indeed.

Denis Leary, Elaine Benes & Marc Cuban will be three of many that donate their voices to this upcoming season of The Simpsons, increasing the popularity of the historic show’s irrelevance. Their was about a five year stretch wherein The Simpsons was the premiere comedy on television, but for the past eight years or so it has been dying the slowest death imaginable. Just imagine if Seinfeld was still making new episodes how tired they would seem, then multiply it by ten. That’s where we’re at with The Simpsons. God, this is just depressing, moving on.

Hey, you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes of bizarre, repetitive though I’m sure technically sound episode of South Park? Well, wait no longer my belabored friend, the feature is now available on their website with the episode “Major Boobage“. We weren’t particularly fond of the episode, but its worth a look never the less.

Finally, there will be some reasonable conflict on Entourage. It appears the high life the four protagonists have been living for four seasons will be deflated a tad as they struggle to make a lavish living. Given, its not The Wire, we don’t have people struggling with heroin addiction or anything. But if the series is going to stay on the air, we appreciate the minor alteration.

If you haven’t seen any Mad Men episodes and yearn to potentially help boost their DVD revenue, you can watch the pilot episode online. We would highly recommend this, but without an outlet to watch the rest of the series, if you’re not into buying DVD’s there isn’t much point. If you need a superficial reason to watch, an entire episode could be Christina Hendricks washing her car and we’d be sufficiently entertained.

Speaking of which, its almost imperative to the future of AMC that you buy the DVD, since they dropped $25 million promoting the second season. “We’re treating this like a movie opening” says the marketing president for the network. And I could see the benefits of that, but do most movies spend $25 million in promotions?

And finally, fresh off his oddly miscast role as Abomination or whatever the guy’s name was in The Hulk, Tim Roth is heading to the small screen with the FOX pilot Lie To Me, in which he plays a “human lie detector”. Simply put, this will probably be melodramatic tripe. My question is, whose decision was it to cast the bellboy from Four Rooms as a martial arts expert in the military, because it was surreal.

That’s it until Monday, have a great fourth. We recommend celebrating your country’s independence by blowing up a small piece of it.