Grid Effect

A couple follow-up notes to my hurried yet entirely too long Emmys post yesterday before we get to some fairly paltry links. First, it didn’t really shock us, but I find it hard to believe that any group of people could sit down, watch something like Friday Night Lights and follow it up with something like, say…Burn Notice, or Saving Grace, and tell you honestly that the latter two were better than the former. I just can’t comprehend it. Secondly, Family Guy? Why have seven nominations if we’re delving into this territory. Its not going to win. Is it? No, it has to go to 30 Rock because of all the writing nominations.

On the heels of the news they’re releasing their first animated series, FX announces plans to develop a sitcom revolving around a fantasy football league. We’re obviously going to watch this given our proclivity for fantasy football, and our opinion of it going in would be considerably diminished if it was on any other network (save for AMC and HBO); but still: a comedy about a fantasy football league? Did I come up with this when I was 20? Either way, it looks like they’re coupling it It’s Always Sunny, so if it takes on the same crass tone we have higher hopes. But it sounds kind of hackneyed, like something we’d see on ESPN following Playmakers. Guess ESPN films was slow to the draw on this one.

Kristen Bell has asked to make a cameo on Gossip Girl. I think of all the shows and actors and actresses I don’t care about, I probably talk about Kristen Bell the most. But this is particularly unique because I don’t think I’ve ever posted about Gossip Girl or anything related to the CW or  or UPN or WB or whatever that network is called these days. Such is the power of the opportunity to hunt for Kristen Bell photos/youtube videos. What?

The ESPY’s were taped last night, and I’m not sure if this is something that anyone has ever cared about but it does seemed to have increased in noteriety. That fact, to me, epitomizes to me what’s wrong with celebrity obsession and entertainment these days. The American public, by and large used to scoff at these types of events (Emmys and Oscars always have and always will draw a crowd), but now they make headlines and people pay attention to the red carpet non-antics of the  fucking ESPY’s!

Here’s an article out of Vanity Fair asking if Americans are stupid enough to elect reality TV stars. I’m going to say that in 99% of cases, being on a reality TV de-qualifies you from ever running for office. But at the same time, there isn’t anything inherent about reality television that makes it this the case, it’s what networks do with it. The article makes the mistake of conflating Randall Pinkett, some guy who won The Apprentice, with every reality star gracing our airwaves. I think there’s a far cry from Pinkett –who’s a Rhodes Scholar and has a rap sheet of professional experience– and the fifth place finisher on I Love New York or New York herself (I can’t begin to tell you how frightened I am to know “New York” is some skank’s handle and not a reference to the city or state). Not that The Apprentice is a noble endeavor, but it used to require that participants had real world practice, whereas your standard cable reality show seeks people who have as little as possible.

And finally, I haven’t touched on the Jon & Kate saga too much, because it’s so remarkably uninteresting (romantic partners squabbling! What a unique concept!), but this article speculates on whether or not Jon’s new girlfriend is using him for his fame. Whoa, whoa, whoa; hold on, you’re telling me that everything every woman does isn’t completely wholesome and absent of malice, and that includes women who surround themselves with reality TV stars? My world is sufficiently rocked. You take it back Us Magazine! You take it the fuck back!

Probably some more links later in the day.

I either tore or strained both quadriceps playing fucking softball, I’m still working on billing and I got about three hours of sleep last night. Not to be too self-indulgent, but I don’t see this post exceeding 300 words. I’m throwing a stamp on this thing and mailing this in.

Given how they left the finale, we knew that Friday Night Lights was going to be forced to reinvent itself, should it be fortunate enough to come back for a fourth season. Well, they were, and as it turns out, nothing is going to look or feel familiar. If you’ve ever read any of my recaps then you know that I despise yet understand the series’ continuity issues with characters that were recognized as seniors in the first season still attending high school in the third (the worst of which being Lyla sleeping with a LA business man when she was 15 or so), so for what it’s worth, we’re fine with these changes, as they’re overdue.

Thanks for the bouts with depression, Piper.

Piper Perabo — best known for her role in the only movie I ever walked out on and initiating the eventual breakup with my then girlfriend — is getting her own series on USA. Is this failing upward? Probably not in Hollywood but at least she has a steady paycheck. I’m certain she was absolutely low-balled for the movie referenced above, that of which I dare not speak its name.

Ricky Gervais decided to go out on a limb and state that American television was superior to British television. But he says their version of Entourage is comparatively “poor”, something I just refuse to believe. Still, his claims have merit. Our entertainment industry dwarfs there’s, like if you took two football players from each country and had them stand next to each other,  but I’m certain some of his die-hard fans back home are none too pleased. The hooliganism is going to be treacherous, I’m sure.

And finally, Neil Patrick Harris is in talks to host the Emmys. I’ve never really “gotten” NPH, outside of the cameo in the Harold and Kumar movie that served as a springboard to his resurgence, I don’t really think I’ve ever been too enamored with him. Of course, I don’t watch How I Met Your Mother, so this is probably my problem more so than anyone else’s. Despite my trepidation about him, Harris beats the shit out of an army of reality TV hosts, which is what I believe they did last year. They might as well have just ditched the hosts and had the teleprompter facing the audience.

Hey, 446 words, we’re calling this a day. Back tomorrow with something.

One last links post to close out the week. As you can tell, we never got around to watching the most recent Weeds episode, a problem we hope to remedy by weekends end. Not much else going on, so we’ll forego any further preambles.

I can’t recall a better time to be associated with Oprah Winfrey than now: She’s taking her entire staff on a cruise that covers Spain, Italy, Turkey, Greece and Malta. Seems a little excessive, but I can’t imagine anyone is complaining. Other than people like me, who would commit unpseakable acts for such an opportunity. In case you were worrying, don’t, she’ll be back to indoctrinating upper-middle class women in no time.

Other than the first image to pop up on a google image search for "Maxim", I have no idea who this is.

The cable network E! and the ladmag Maxim are teaming up to shallow-ize the populace, the likes of which we’ve never seen. They’re scheduled to do a couple specials together, and I have no idea what that entails. But if I had to guess, I’m pretty sure the extent of it will be women from AXE Body Spray commercials putting on masks of tabloid stars and wrestling in jello, then having the lead singer from Whitesnake determine who the winner was.

Here’s the trailer for an Arrested Development documentary, a documentary I wasn’t aware was in existence until just now. This probably costs me hipster points, but I livev in Ohio so it’s much easier too come to terms with that fact. Anyway, hopefully this is a precursor to a movie, something that is starting to feel more and more overdue. Is Sit Down, Shut Up still on the air? Can someone look into this?

Here’s another trailer for an upcoming HBO series called Bored To Death, a series I wasn’t even aware was coming. Naturally, it doesn’t come out until September, but this is the first look at it and stars Zach Galifinikas (among others), so it warrants the three month advance notice. If you need a synopsis, I think the anti-Entourage should suffice.

And finally, the TV Academy “honored” television’s most beloved dad’s Of All Time. Probably because Father’s day is Sunday, but it still doesn’t make much sense. I’d actually rather see the opposite: Ten most hated TV dads. Who would we put on that: Tony Soprano, Jimmy McNulty, Tommy Gavin, Roger Sterling, Randy Marsh, Doug Wilson, Riggins’ dad…I’m sure there are a couple others that are eluding me right now, but that’s some prime suckage in child-rearing right there.

Alright, we’re wrapping it up for the week. This is, without a doubt, one of the five more mundane weeks we’ve had on this site. It would be stealing the top spot if we didn’t stumble onto the Weeds season premiere last weekend. In short, we’re exceptionally thankful it’s over.

Few links to open the last, shortened week in May. We’ll get to our Rescue Me recap later today, which you are undoubtedly waiting in breathless anticipation for.

This is more of a "first look" than anything in that link.

Here is your first look at the fifth season of Weeds. What it is, is a few still shots from the set, so it’s technically a “first look”, but it’s almost intentionally misleading. If someone tells me I’m getting the “first look” of an upcoming season of television, I expect it to be at least a trailer, if not a short clip from an episode. I suppose I am guilty of the same sin since I am linking to them and all, but at least I’m giving a detailed explanation. I expect more from websites that people actually visit.

You can watch the first episode of Edie Falco’s new series, Nurse Jackie, online. I have yet to watch it but one thing’s for sure, this guy from Entertainment Weekly is thoroughly unimpressed. Mind you, it’s just a pilot, but considering the batting average for Showtime series’ with this site, we’re going to be inclined to agree. Not that this is why we won’t watch the show, but unfortunately for her, she might be married to the Carmela Soprano character. Audiences will be too familiar with her as the wife of an Italian mobster to see her as anything else. This could be a great opportunity for her and Frederico Castelluccio, the guy who played Furio Guinta and was pissed about being cast off the show late in the fourth season.

This article from Time wonders whether or not Americans want to watch shows that focus on the financial strains of the current economy. It seems we haven’t learned anything from Nielsen’s or Box Office numbers, because the answer is a resounding No. If the American consumer wanted to watch gritty realism over fluff, The Wire would murder Two and A Half Men in ratings and Squid and The Whale would slaughter The Incredibles in an opening weekend. The fact is, Americans overwhelmingly (and with few exceptions) want mindless distractions from their everyday lives, which is perfectly fine (I guess). But can we at least put a moratorium on questions like this?

Here is a series of photos of Stephen Colbert undergoing military training in preparation for his trip to Iraq. For awhile we’ve ignored his antics because they were so redundant, but this seems like it warrants mentioning. Much like the Weeds first look, we would prefer video. But this is different in that we weren’t led to believe there would be any.

This is the problem with Obama being so immersed in the entertainment industry: George Lopez is claiming Obama agreed to appear on his talk show. On TNT. For starters, who told TNT it would be a good idea to make the leap into comedy (the fact they hired George Lopez to host a fucking talk show is proof this is going to fail miserably). And two, the president can’t go on a non-political talk show unless it’s Leno, Letterman or Oprah; and even then the majority of the populace would like to see otherwise.

An article pondering if television is becoming inundated with hospital dramas. Of course it is, but hasn’t TV always been overwhelmed with slick doctors? Everyone knows that the only interesting professions in this country are homicide detective, lawyer, doctor or some facet of the entertainment industry. No other career path is deserving of a fictional characterization unless you’re watching a motion picture rom-com, in which if the characters aren’t one of the aforementioned professions, then they are an architect, a magazine/newspaper editor or they work some non-descript finance job in a major market high rise. Everyone knows that.

Anytime your series is fixated on cheap teasers and absurd premises that placate the easily amused, it’s going to be regularly downloaded online, thus explaining why Lost was the most pirated series of the past year. If Weeds was on ABC they would experience the same side effects, I’m sure.

And finally, if you watch nightly talk shows for the interviews, The Tonight Show has unveiled Conan’s first week of guests. I’m going to go ahead and say it: Jimmy Fallon’s lineup for opening week was undeniably superior, but I’m still DVR’ing his first week at 11:30. I’m that open-minded.

As mentioned, Rescue Me recap later.

I hate to bring it up, but we’re quickly running out of series’ to recap. Last Thursday absolutely killed us with both The Office and Survivor (except for the finale on Sunday) going on hiatus (not to mention 30 Rock, which kills our entertainment quotient from the small screen). So expect more links post and news items, we’ll also do some nightly previews here in the next week or two. But for now, here’s yet another set of links.

Here’s the trailer for Cleveland Show, the Seth McFarlane spin-off to Family Guy that revolves around the black guy from the series (if you’re only vaguely familiar with the show and don’t know characters names, at least now you can identify him). It seems that there are too many overworked people just recycling material now in Hollywood. It started with dramas (CSI, Law & Order), and now it’s spilled into the comedy world. Much like how Parks & Recreation is all too similar to The Office (mockumentary style, small town setting, mugging for the camera, a quirky protagonist and analgous characters, etc), Cleveland Show looks even more so to
Family Guy (interchangeable jokes, abrasive and indifferent behavior, neither show being particularly funny, etc). I know American audiences are adverse to change in their television viewing habits, but I think we can do better than just overloading our prime time lineups with the same show just different characters. If this isn’t already a trend, hopefully it won’t turn into one.

There could be another reason for the show's immense popularity.

Despite its plummeting ratings and reputation, Heroes along with Lost is the most valuable franchise to marketers. I’m hesitant to suggest this, but I’m pretty certain that any innate value Heroes might have is directly a result of putting a cheerleader costumed character at center stage of a science fiction show on a broadcast network. As much as high school sci-fi geeks are mocked in this country, they’re an easy to please bunch. Lost of course makes total sense, it caters to America’s five second attention span. Oh noes, we’re stranded on an island…that’s populated with polar bears…and people with guns!…and killer smoke clouds!…and it travels through time! OMG ITZ SO AWSM!

Here’s an article suggesting that the “Kidney Now” song from 30 Rock’s finale is superior to Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fu%!ing Ben Affleck.” I don’t know how you really compare the two but whatever. If we’re doing a survey on which is the best comedic song from television, I’m going to say “Muffin Top” is better than all of them. And if you disagree then we can’t be friends. Sorry.

Speaking of 30 Rock, here’s a transcript of all of Tracy Jordan’s lines from the third season. If you don’t watch the series and it seems taken out of context, don’t worry, it’s out of context on the show too, that’s why it’s funny. Because he’s an idiot, you see.

Exhibit Z1124 that SNL is nosediving in relevance: Kristin Wiig led the rest of the cast in featured sketches (124 was the total). I like Kristin Wiig, and the decision to put her in more sketches than anyone else is probably wise (though Bill Hader would probably be preferable), but does she really compare with SNL greats of seasons past? You don’t even have to pull the Phil Hartman card, you can just go Jim Breuer or Norm McDonald or someone else from that era if you’re looking for a better sketch comedian than Wiig. She’s would be a great bit player and all, but as a headliner? She’s the Lamar Odom of SNL and that’s probably why its been so bad as of late.

We probably should have posted this earlier because we were so critical of everyone’s pre-set notions about its pending cancellation, but as it turns out Dollhouse is actually being renewed. I can’t wait for season two, when people say it isn’t nearly as good as its predecessor and pretend like season one went off without a hitch. Should be good times.

Damn shame.

CBS green lights a lot of shows, including one starring Juliana Margulies.That alone should make this the best decision CBS has made since putting Survivor on the air. The good news only five of the six mentioned in that article are cop dramas. Progress. Also, I think I now know why she isn’t more famous: That picture to the right is the most revealing one we can find.

In who we’d probably describe as the anti-CBS of comedy, Ricky Gervais’ animated series based on his podcasts has been picked-up by HBO. In case you aren’t familiar with our adulation of just about anything involving Ricky Gervais, from The Office, to Extras to his stand-up to even his award show appearances; it goes without saying that we’re very much looking forward to this. HBO is at an all time low right now, but between this, Hung, the new Curb season, new series’ from David Simon, David Chase & Martin fucking Scorsese, they’ll be atop the mountain again by Fall 2009, then everyone can stop lecturing me on how much better Showtime is than HBO.

Sarah Connor Chronicles has officially been axed from the FOX lineup. Has anyone ever watched this show? It looked like it featured a lot of attractive women, but unfortunately that looked like the best thing it had going for it. I think it’s time we just stopped trying with this franchise. Based on this, the mailed-in job that was T3 and the lackluster reviews of Terminator Salvation, no one’s going to miss the absence of futuristic cyborgs in their life. We have Japan for that.

And finally, Law & Order will officially be on air for at least 20 seasons, tying some sort of record I’m too preoccupied to care about. While doing anything like this for twenty years is impressive, it’s times like these when I wished the US would adopt the British (or is it just Ricky Gervais?) model of television. Honestly, just give us  a couple short seasons with an extended finale and call it a day. Twenty seasons of listening to actors playing lawyers pontificate some generic point of the judicial branch is just too many.

Back tomorrow, probably with more links.

Just a few links to start the day, with the exception of PTI and the second half of the Rockets-Lakers game, we didn’t watch any television last night. So unless you want to hear a recap of the numerous elbows thrown by various Lakers that somehow led to Ron Artest being ejected from the game, then we’ll just get right to it.

Gossip Girl “stars” (I use the quotations because I don’t know anyone except maybe my nieces who would recognize a single cast member of this show) have been invited to the White House Correspondents Dinner. Why? How dare you question our president.

In an attempt to piss off everyone and solidify that I never go see his movies or watch his television shows, Josh Schwartz recently said that he’s never been a Star Trek fan and has acknowledged his first project, The OC, spawned so many reality series’ about vapid morons in SoCal that they will far overshadow his own work. It doesn’t bother me that he acknowledges these bits of information about himself and his work. No, what bothers me about it is he seems proud of these results. The fact anyone considers being the man who inadvertently paved the way for Heidi Montag to be a household name is something anyone should champion is a little frightening.

Stick to what you know, Jen.

Jenny McCarthy once showed her genitals in a magazine, and as it was written in the scripture: anytime a modestly to bona fide attractive woman pines for anything, she shall be granted it without prejudice; she’s now going into the anti-vaccine biz with Oprah Winfrey. Let’s just set aside the insanity that is Jenny McCarthy and her borderline indefensible crusade for a moment, she is a B-list celebrity and a former playboy bunny, she hasn’t been told “no” since she was ten years old. What I’m curious about is why Oprah would take any part in this, especially when their is such overwhelming evidence against Ms. McCarthy’s claims. I think she’s using this as a litmus test for just how much she can get away with. I mean, what else does she have to do with her time?

I haven’t been keeping up with Stephen Colbert news recently, because frankly, the shtick is rather tiresome at this point. Yeah, he’s still great in the role and the show is as good as its ever been. But its been, what? 3 years now? And more or less the same joke every night, or at least the same premise for every joke he tells…I think two years was enough for me. But since everyone still wants to love him (he’s basically reached Brett Favre status), various institutions still name shit after him. Like NASA naming a treadmill “The Stephen Colbert Treadmill“. It was funny when he had an eagle named after him, but ten inanimate objects later and the bit has kind of worn thin.

And finally, our second link to Slate asks if 30 Rock has gone conservative. The short answer: No. The long answer, if you’re wondering why republicans complain about liberal bias in various news factions, it’s because someone has the nerve to question whether a series as liberal as 30 Rock has turned into conservative programming. I mean, if 30 Rock is considered conservative, then what exactly is left to be regarded as progressive? Porno? Old footage of Woodstock? I know the article is offering some contrarian perspective about how Tina Fey just isn’t answering the call of her liberal brethren, but maybe they just toned down the political jokes because, you know, democrats currently control every branch of government.

Kind of a weak set of links here. Back tomorrow with recaps.

So unless there is something urgent to report, which there never has been, nor will there ever be because this is a television blog we might start posting later in the day much more frequently. Our workload increased about two months ago and hasn’t really relented, we’re about to increase posting frequency and length on our other site and for the most part, we’re watching very few series at the moment. Right now we’re recapping Survivor, The Office, Rescue Me (just remarkable last night), and we’re watching but not recapping My Boys & 30 Rock, this is the extent of our regular television viewing for the foreseeable future. As long as that is the case, not much should change except for limited posting and the time of which we do it.

For the time being, let’s get to some links.

Adding to it’s already filled trophy case of awards, Mad Men won best international series at some awards show in Britain. Not for nothing, but as great as that series is it’s really benefiting coming onto the scene after The Sopranos (which it had to because Matt Weiner was a writer for it), The West Wing and all the other series’ that were critically acclaimed but have ended their run in recent years. I think Mad Men is unequivocally the best series still producing new episodes, but I’d also say that television isn’t nearly as good as it was four years ago. Too many copycats and wannabes, not enough series’ producing raw, unseen content that rivals the best of what you would see in film (which I tend to think Mad Men does), so Matthew Weiner and Co. deservingly benefit, I guess.

This might be a little off-topic, but Jon Stewart had a lively discussion about what quantifies torture with Cliff May, who’s some sort of Government official. I’m too lazy to actually read the website I linked too so I can’t tell you specifically what his role is. Anyhow, I tend to think that the other facets of our foreign policy and the economy should take precedent over this, but that’s probably because I had yet to hear an actual intelligent conversation about it. Usually when you watch cable news it’s nothing more than an exchange of superlatives and platitudes that you could hear in any run of the mill high school government class, but this was actually entertaining and mapped out the two reasonable sides of the argument.

Entourage, one of the more fake explicit series’ on television, is looking for syndication deals with Spike TV and Comedy Central. I’m pretty sure the last straw in my total shaming of being a fan of Entourage would be if it got syndication on Spike TV, who outside of depressing Pros Vs. Joes episodes I avoid with all my might (Note: My might is pretty non-existent). But yeah, I say “fake explicit” because watching people smoke weed is generally something you can do on FX, and aside for the really infrequent frontal nudity and a vulgar reference to it (usually from Drama), there isn’t that much editing work to be had here.

Can't we at least start using Curb for our Larry David references?

More evidence that we and the media love to blur the line between entertainment and politics: The Daily Beast ponders whether or not Obama is modeling their approach to the previous administration from the Seinfeld episode in which George does the opposite of what his impulses tell him to do. This is two psuedo-political oriented links in one post so I don’t want to dwell on it, but despite your feelings on Bush or Obama, doesn’t this just seem a tad juvenile. The best way to get anyone from the opposite side of teh aisle to dismiss your opinion is by comparing someone they hold in esteem to George Costanza, or at least that’s what I was always taught.

Here’s an article suggesting Dollhouse be rewarded a second, hyphenated season to resolve its open-ended storylines, I guess the point would be that the series could gain some traction and develop a cult following, like every Joss Whedon series. But it never offers incentive for the network to do so. But yes, just about every series’ given additional episodes knowing they will be their last episodes is capable of piecing together some finality. This is like when Tiger Woods fans (in this case, Joss Whedon fans) make the claim that when he loses a tourney (a series gets canceled), it was only because he missed a couple putts that he usually sinks (if people watched the series like they watched Buffy). That’s right, and if I had wheels I’d be a wagon. He missed those putts (he didn’t make a marketable series), therefore, he lost (the show was canceled). Trust me, it’s not the first time.

If The Bachelor is good enough for its own CSI episode, I feel The Sopranos is as well.

You’re not going to believe this, but CSI: Miami is scheduled to do an episode with a murder on the set of a Bachelor-esque television show. Wait, a murder scene with numerous attractive women ranging from scantily-clad to whorishly-clad is the setting for a CSI: Miami episode. If I had to guess, when the actual crime takes place it’s going to take place in or around a hot tub. Look, I’m all for cheap exploitation of attractive women as much as possible, but this branch of the CSI franchise just makes it too obvious.

Jesus, someone at the New Yorker asks if Amy Poehler is the most popular SNL cast member of the past decade, with her chief rivals being Tina Fey and Will Ferrell. If you’re one of those people who wonders why others often lament the failed state of SNL, now you know why. It isn’t that Amy Poehler is devoid of comedic chops, it’s just that when you look at her best skits compared to those of Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy, Mike Meijers, David Spade and countless others I can’t recall at the moment, no one on that short list for the aughts really measures up. Sorry, but it’s true.

On top of his upcoming series Treme and a potential miniseries about the Lincoln assassination, David Simon is pondering a CIA series that would detail its inception a la The Good Sheppard, but presumably in a more coherent and time-efficient manner. I am unabashedly biased for anything this man plans too put on HBO, but absolutely none of that sounds unappealing. In fact, based on the strength of The Wire and Generation Kill I’d venture to say that it’s appointment television.

Alright, one more politically influenced link: FOX is bucking the trend and airing Lie To Me in favor of the president’s address tonight, so as to avoid it running into American Idol. I don’t know why they can’t simply cut the speech short in favor of Idol at nine, but either way this ruins one of the simple pleasures of having a president desperate to keep his approval ratings up. Despite how much I loved Idol getting bumped, I have to admit that from a business perspective nothing makes more sense. Instead of splitting presidential coverage with the three other broadcast networks for the same speech, you air the most popular show on television that gets more viewers than all four of the networks airing Obama speeches combined. I may not like it, but I’m forced to respect it. And god damn it I hate respecting any of the broadcast networks.

Despite its intense promotional campaign during the NCAA tournament, Harper’s Island is being sent to Saturdays, away from its cushy 10PM Thursday slot. Needless to say, I think they better drop an A-bomb on that island if they want all those people dead before the series is canceled. Maybe it’s right around the island with where Lost takes place, two birds with one stone. See, I’m always trying to economize.

The president of HBO promises that new series Hung, about a gym teacher with a sizable penis, won’t be entirely focused on penis jokes. She later got defensive and added, “just because the title of the series is a euphemism for a large male appendage doesn’t mean it will necessarily revolve around his dick, alright?…OK, it actually does. You should see what the props department came up with, you will swear they could have saved Tower 2 with this thing”

And finally, for all you fans of emasculating women and effeminate men in your comedy, ABC wants Scrubs back for a 9th season. My first reaction to reading that was disbelief that there’s only been eight seasons, because it feels like that series has plagued my Thursday nights since I was at least 15. My second reaction was amazement that it actually developed enough of an audience that ABC is trying to convince them of a final season, whereas NBC was constantly pushing them out the door. For all you fans of the series, once everyone other than Zach Braff realizes they don’t have much of a career after this, you can start marking your calendars for that ninth season premiere.

More tomorrow.

So with the NBA playoffs in full swing, it’s safe to assume that scripted series’ are going to be put on the back-burner for us. Sorry, but outside of the shows we already watch (the ones we recap), there isn’t going to be a lot happening on this site beyond the bare minimum. With that said, let’s tackle some news items!

Remember when we wrote that self-righteous, dismissive paragraph over Rod Blagojevich’s bid to appear on some hackneyed reality series? Well, it appears a judge was equally incensed and denied him the opportunity to leave the country for where the show will be filming, which to me seems even more ridiculous than Blago’s decision to go on reality television in the first place. Whatever, this might open the door for additional eye-candy, which I imagine is what 90% of the people watching this show are looking for.

More depressing evidence that neither our country nor the world has any idea how to handle political terrorism: 24 was cited as evidence in defense of… atypical interrogation techniques. This on the heels of the UN inviting cast and crew members of Battlestar Galactica for a discussion on international relations and the merits of torture. Look, for the most part I am apolitical and this is generally why. As much as I love some television series and I think the medium is being squandered on mindless drivel, I really don’t want the world’s leaders using some of the more popular franchises as part of their argument. And if you are, it better be The Wire that is used for us to even consider taking you seriously.

What the hell is that she's latching onto?

ABC is bringing back some series called The Superstars, which I guess was all the buzz back before cable. Or at least I hope that’s when it was all the buzz. I can’t imagine anyone actually taking this seriously, but then again we’re unabashed fans of Survivor and that’s exactly what this sounds like with B and C-list celebrities, so I guess we can’t be too high and mighty about this. Anyway, the first season of this will include such stars as Joanna Krupa, Terrell Owens, Dan Cortese (EXTRRREEEEMEE!) Ali Landry and Bode Miller among others. And if you’re thinking that we are posting this link just for the accompanying picture, you are absolutely correct.

Oh, and if for whatever reason you haven’t heard, like on the offset chance you might have some sort of life, are over the age of 43 or under the age of 25, The State is coming to DVD. After roughly fourteen years since it went off the air, the sketch comedy show that helped spawn Reno 911, Role Models and various other movies and television shows can now be seen in all its glory. The State represents a time when MTV actually demonstrated some ambition and didn’t resort to the lowest common denominator that seems to be all the rage at our nation’s high schools. Too commemorate (read: promote) the release, MTV has put the first season up online.

And finally — we’re just full of good news to close out the morning — one silver lining of the failing economy: CBS is forced to reevaluate hosting about fifteen different cop dramas, and it appears either Cold Case or Without A Trace will be getting axed to trim the budget. How does one decide between the cop show that is 60% flashbacks and the cop show that has the guy from Empire Records in the lead role? I mean, is there any other way to distinguish these two shows? Man, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall when this conversation takes place.

South Park and Office recaps tomorrow.

We’ll get to the FNL recap later tonight or tomorrow morning, to get us through the morning we’re going to post a few links that feel like sufficient time killers. I think we’re still in the middle of our sugar crash from easter (it’s one those five hour energy commercials warn you about) so our apologies if we mail this one in.

Further evidence that the recession is effecting your television viewing options: Showtime rejected all four pilot opportunities that were recently presented to them. I was under the impression that picking up pilots, relative to the number that are propositioned, is something of a rarity. But I guess this is news since a couple of them were highly regarded within the industry. Its not like you can afford Showtime, anyways, which is why they can’t push their budget any further, which is why you’re stuck watching The Tudors if you’re one of the fe fortunate enough to afford the premium network but dumb enough to actually subscribe to it.

I suspect he watches for the same reason any of us do.

Doug Ellin, creator of Entourage, was stunned to learn that president Obama watches his series. I can imagine. You make a series about four nitwits plodding around southern California and you discover that a sitting president in one of the more tumultuous times in the history of the world takes time out of his schedule to watch said nitwits? That probably wasn’t what he and Mark Wahlberg set out to do. If nothing else, maybe this will provide some extra incentive for everyone involved in the series to try a little harder. God, just thinking about the fact that someone in elected office might have sat down, watched that Joshua Tree episode and actually enjoyed it makes me tremble in fear. for the future of our nation.

Ugh, I really didn’t want t even mention this here but we’re desperate for something: Octomom, the best argument that pro-choice advocates have ever had, has landed a reality television show. That makes sense. I’ve always heard that the best way to refute the impression everyone is under that you’re a negligent, self-absorbed attention whore, is to prove everyone right by going on national television. At least she gives cable news networks a distraction from ever having to do investigative news journalism.

I guess I’m the only person who considers him vastly overrated, because Joss Whedon is being given a Lifetime Achievement award from Harvard. He’s behind the scenes of some solid material, but nothing groundbreaking or even particularly memorable. I guess Harvard is a staunch defender of Dollhouse. Maybe it’s because I’m biased as a result of dating a girl who only watched Joss Whedon shows. This is strictly anecdotal and by no means meant to encompass an entire demographic, but our first conversation about television went something like this:

Me: I have a penchant for watching unhealthy amounts television.
Her: Oh, I love watching television. Did you ever watch Buffy?
Me: Occasionally, it was more roommates girlfriends watching it than me.
Her: So guys can’t like Buffy?
Me: (seeing where this is going and desperately wanting to change subjects) No, they can. I just think the intended audience is younger women. You ever watch Sopranos?
Her: No, I’ve heard it was alright. I don’t like watching all that violence though.
Me: But you’re favorite show is about a vampire slayer.
Her: It’s different. Are you watching Angel?
Me: Nah, I kind of missed the premiere of it and never bothered to start at the beginning. Maybe I should have though since it seems fairly popular.
Her: Oh, it’s great.
Me: What’s your favorite TV show that you can remember watching? Or is it something current? Everyone I know seems to claim The Office as the greatest comedy of all time.
Her: I never got into it. You may have never heard of my favorite show, actually, it only had one season, but it was called Firefly.

/End most boring second date story in history of second dates.

Look, I can appreciate the fact that Joss Whedon has a loyal allegiance out there and that his shows are better than average. The above viewing habits are light years ahead of watching NCIS, CSI, Without A Trace and then explaining to me what a connoisseur of television you are. But don’t tell me Joss Whedon is the greatest thing since sliced bread when you haven’t bothered to watch any series that he wasn’t a part of. I’m not a total snob about these things, you don’t have to have watched The Wire or Mad Men or Arrested Development for me to respect your opinion; but when your range of experience is so limited, don’t pretend to know what you’re talking about just because your favorite women’s studies professor said that you did.

Alright, probably it for today. Might return with some links or something tomorrow before getting to the FNL series finale.

So with the president preempting all the crap that I usually wouldn’t watch anyways, we are in the same boat as usual: Nothing to recap. Which is fine. We almost think this site would be better off if there weren’t series’ I felt necessary to try and promote. What when mocking the worst of the industry is so much more fun and entertaining. So let’s do just that with a few links.

Robert Wuhl, whom everyone has since decided they hate about ten years after Arli$$ was canceled, is returning to HBO for a family comedy, because apparently such comedies are too raunchy for the broadcast networks. Boy, the FCC has really tightened up since that whole The War At Home debacle. That show changed television as we know it. Oh, and in case you were keeping count, HBO is now home to Martin Scorsese, David Simon, David Chase and…Robert Wuhl. That’s the Mt. Rushmore of the moving image, if you ask me.

Direct TV wisely spent $4 billion to keep the NFL around. In this jaded age of economic panic, about the only expenditure Americans will still follow loyally is their favorite NFL corporate logo, so I think Direct TV made a wise decision to fully commit here. Just look at plunging prime time ratings if you want more proof for why this is about the only form of reliably marketable entertainment on television. What I don’t understand, however, is how the NFL makes more money on an exclusive deal with a service provider that a small percentage of Americans actually own rather than with the broadcast networks. Doesn’t their ad revenue act in accordance with the size of their audience? Or do I have this wrong? Let’s just move on.

Someone no longer has to pretend to look busy.

Andy Richter, Conan O’Brien’s sidekick and soon to be Tonight Show announcer when O’Brien finally makes his move out west, had a couple of failed sitcoms that we’re actually quite entertaining despite low ratings that led to cancellation. This interview asks the rejuvenated TV man whether or not his best sitcom, Andy Richter Saves The Universe, could survive in this day and age because shows like 30 Rock and Scrubs do so well. First off, I don’t think those two shows are quite as similar as the interviewer leads one to believe. For instance, one’s funny and the other isn’t. Secondly, despite what you think about either of those series’, they’re kept on as charity cases, shows that bring critical recognition but technically operate at a loss. Especially 30 Rock. So in other words the interviewer is asking, “Do you think Andy Richter Saves The Universe could be so lucky had it premiered a few years later?” Richter responds just as pessimistically as he should.

If you thought the CSI franchise was a machine that could chew up and spit out the sum of its parts without a moments notice and still continue to pillage the countryside, think again. For it seems that the intangibles on that show actually count for something. Otherwise, why else would CBS be paying Laurence Fishburne $14 million for his efforts? One could say that CBS doesn’t understand that the innate popularity of the show has nothing to do with actors. In fact, your average CSI viewer fucking hates actors and watches CSI in spite of them. The show would probably get a better Nielsen if they were lifelike puppets in place of actual sentients. This hatred is mostly political. What, you think your run of the mill CSI viewer in Billings, Oklahoma is watching that shit if fucking Sean Penn is cast in the Fishburne role? Being seemingly neutral is what got Fishburne the role in the first place, and it’s what will keep CSI popular, the second that show tries to take a stance on illegal immigration or something is the second it loses a big chunk of its audience.

Do people still watch 24? Well, for those that do I bring you an ounce of closure: Kiefer Sutherland is vowing to be back for an eighth season. Jesus, eight seasons. I’m pretty sure your average ten year-old’s imagination thinks this is ludicrous at this point. Oh, and if you thought Kiefer Sutherland was going to leave 24, then I’m guessing you don’t get out to the movies much to see that he’s never in any of them.

And finally, fresh off of a for the time being failed attempt to get Michael Jackson to visit American Idol, Simon Cowell is now setting his sites a little higher with sending out a public invitation to Barack Obama, who surely is thrilled that his appearance on Leno is only going to encourage more of these innocuous requests. Since people are idiots though he would be wise to follow through on this. He could turn this country into Malawi, but if he makes numerous appearances on popular prime time network programming he could still get reelected. In fact, this would compensate for all the people who won’t vote for him because he preempted it last night. Feed the beast, Obama. You know you want too.

Alright, back tomorrow with South Park and Survivor recaps tomorrow.

Given the ridiculous degree of monumental television events last night, we would be remisced if we didn’t spend a little time talking about, or at least mention the second most noteworthy moment of the spectacle that was Thursday night’s offerings. I’m speaking, of course, of George Clooney’s reappearance on ER last night.

There, I’m glad that’s out of the way. Let’s get to some links so I can go see Watchmen a week later than I had planned.

Here’s a complete and utter dissection of Lost that states much more concisely than I ever could why I can’t stand watching it. And no, it’s not just because it’s on ABC. Basically, it’s a series of random events with very loose connections to one another that are thrown together at random so as to fill episodes. If you gave me ten random short stories by different authors, then asked me to turn them into a novel it would look pretty much like Lost. I can’t defend my position beyond the few episodes I’ve seen, but when I ask people who consider Lost appointment television, they can’t really seem to either. Am I wrong in thinking this? Or are my friends categorically retarded? I tend to think the latter, but I think that because they watch Lost, so it’s a chicken or the egg type of thing.

OK, a little more about Clooney’s ER return from this woman, whose a little too involved in last night’s proceedings for me to take seriously. Her depiction is a little too intricate for me, I’m just going to go ahead and assume she spends her days pondering what television characters do in their free time. I hope she has a good weekend and spends some time with family and friends.

The one benefit of television being state ran: They can air shit like The Wire five nights a week and not have to worry about profit margin and overhead and some other business lingo I picked up while watching Mad Men, much like the BBC is doing in London. At the same time, however, nothing as good as The Wire has ever come out of television in Europe. So there’s that.

The Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer mess from last night is all the buzz on the internets, and everyones opinion on it is fairly predictable based on their political leanings. But Stewart decimated the abrasive financial analyst while he basically sat there and took it with a lot of screeching and nervous chatter. The wrath might be misguided but Cramer is by no means an innocent bystander, though he could have defended himself infinitely better. His ammo was light, though, because what was he supposed to say? I’m a much better financial analyst than you are a comedian, suck it Stewart! It just wasn’t in his or CNBC’s best interest for him to be out there. Whatever, I’m still catatonic from the awkwardness of it so I guess it was a success.

I stand by my decision.

Yet another one for the “shit that isn’t broken yet someone will always claim it needs fixed” file, this person has compiled a list of 30 suggestions to fix 30 Rock. First off, the show was hilarious last night, probably one of the three better episodes I’ve seen and it gave me a nice away message for tomorrow (”Passing out. Cursing. On Saint Patrick’s Day?…Is nothing sacred”). Also, I know she went with 30 because the number is in the title, but the bottom line is if you can find 30 things wrong with a series that you think could be improved, then you were probably never a big fan of the series in the first place. Take me and my aforementioned disdain for Lost, for example. I could probably name roughly mid-four figures of things I would change about that show. In fact, I can only name one thing I wouldn’t change: Evangeline Lilly. And my rationale for that isn’t very substantive.

Point being, if you can find 30 things you don’t like about anything, it might be best to just admit that whatever it is, it isn’t for you, and move the fuck on. This is like me saying I would change the name of Lost to Found, put it in the heart of China and not have the characters attacked by a smoke cloud. Then it would be right up my alley!

Alright, we’re calling it a week, Friday Night Lights tonight and a bevy of notable series’ on Sunday including but not limited to Selection Sunday (if you don’t know what this means: Get Out), Breaking Bad, Flight of The Conchords and Mad Men second season reruns.

Have a great weekend.

So we finally got around to Jimmy Fallon’s Tuesday effort (though we didn’t watch Wednesday’s), and there was a noticeable improvement. At least during the interviews, we couldn’t stand to watch the monologue as it’s still a nervous, cliche mess. But the interviews with Tina Fey (whom he’s almost too comfortable with, as Miss Fey’s husband is probably suspicious as hell) and Bon Jovi were laid back and effortless.

Basically they went how every talk show interview I’ve ever seen that didn’t make the evening news. So it wasn’t anything phenomenal, but just an hour of television that didn’t make you want to hide under your bed. I think this is what happens when you interview somebody other than Robert DeNiro.

Here are a few links to kick off the morning.

We occasionally mock David Caruso and the entire CSI franchise, but rarely have we ever taken it to this level. It’s accurate, but just as unmerciful. We recommend the clip of one-liners directly below the flow chart. It starts to wear off about two minutes in, but stick with it and it will be funny again about four minutes in. Quit acting like your time is so fucking valuable, man.

Wheel of Fortune celebrated its 5,000th show on Friday. I don’t mean to be flippant but is anyone else surprised that the number is that low? I mean, one show for every weeknight for what seems as long as I’ve been alive. Or rather, as long as I can remember being alive. I’m 27, that means it dates back at least 23 years. Frankly, I don’t know what they’re celebrating.

Jerry Seinfeld has a reality series he’s producing for NBC, and claims he will never be in front of the camera. I can understand that. When you’re regarded as one of the world’s best comedians yet haven’t said or done anything all that funny for over a decade, why would you want to break that streak and expose yourself as yet another stooge in the entertainment business that’s reliant on Larry David.

God damnit, I know we’re not immune but the penchant everyone has of late to deride The Office as some run-of-the-mill superfluous sitcom is starting to agitate. In this article, the guy laments that the series is relying too heavily on traditional sitcom quandaries to fill its episodes. Maybe this is true — especially in the case of Jim and Pam — but for the most part, at this point in a series’ run it’s not about the situational humor so much as it is about the characters reactions to it, because their so uniquely established to everything else on television (I am speaking mainly of Dwight, Michael and several of the supporting cast here). The series has been as strong this season as the four that preceded it, and I won’t listen to any arguments otherwise.

Apparently it was rumored that Evangeline Lilly was rumored to be contemplating to leave Lost (sounds substantial to me!). But she has since squashed those rumors and confirms her good standing with the hit

Yeah, this was worth it.

series. Am I linking to this story just to post an accompanying picture of the abnormal yet almost inhumanly attractive starlet? You bet I am. With any luck, the time traveling island will teleport far back in time enough to when television didn’t exist, and I won’t be subjected to any news about it. As long as they leave Miss Lilly behind, I think we’ll be all the better for it.

The guy who played the hapless, average schmoe and homicide detective on The Wire, Holley, won Howard Stern’s Black Superfan Trivia on the radio. I have no idea what that is, but it sounds pretty degrading even by Howard Stern standards. There is no glory in being a bit player on the greatest series in the history of television, it would seem.

And finally, if you don’t own the DVD’s, have access to Southparkstudios.com or are have basic cable, you can now watch South Park on Netflix, under the assumption that you subscribe to Netflix. Which is a good thing, people with the money and time to randomly watch reruns of the best animated series on television, seldom have access to cable or the internet.

Back with an FNL recap later today. Also, new episodes of Survivor and The Office is back after a two week hiatus tonight, so we’ll be plenty busy for the remainder of the week .

Well, we still haven’t watched Flight of The Conchords, we haven’t really thought about Friday Night Lights since we watched it on Friday night, and we exhausted virtually all news items yesterday. In other words, we’re kind of plum out of material.

Oh, I know.

If you thought that the moderate success of the 90210 remake was going to end there, then, well, first of all, are you an infant? Just how fucking naive can one be? Anytime a series turns a profit for the network, not only does that network latch onto it like they’re dangling from a sky scraper, every other network jumps in to create something as similarly as possible, but not so similar so as to avoid a lawsuit for plagiarism or whatever it’s called when one network steals an idea from another network. Everybody knows this.

It’s embarrassing, really. The lack of foresight and creativity isn’t anything new, but the fact that the CW (or whatever it is called now, it seems to change every couple months) has ordered a remake of Melrose Place is fairly depressing. Another remake off a series that was originally a carbon copy of a series that the network has recently remade. With this move, the CW has managed to copy about three different series’ (the old 90210 and Melrose Place, and the new 90210) with one monolithic, predictable idea. These are new lows of imagination in television.

Frankly, while this is a cringe-worthy development, I’m a little impressed. Usually when a network tries desperately to saturate the market with a single concept, it tends to be one reality show on one network being essentially duplicated by another network. But this takes lazy writing and gutless entertainment executives to once unthinkable depths. Not only is it a remake of a series that was basically a product of its time, but it’s also a remake of what was virtually a spin-off of a series that the same network has remade for today. I can’t argue with the brilliance here. It’s unprecedented.

Maybe we can at least get something worthwhile out of the development. If this series casts a couple Wire alums, then it can’t possibly be all bad, right? Has anyone watched the 90210 remake that can bring me up to speed? I’m sorry, I would have watched an episode of 90210, but I just, didn’t. And I went on, living my life.

I suppose it’s better than yet another dating show set in some sort of alternate reality the everyone seems to recognize but me. If I ever watch VH1, I really feel like I’m observing life on another planet or watching something take place in a distant future. With this I get to feel like I’m reliving the past.

Maybe some links later if we can’t get around to watching Flight of The Conchords.

A few links to close out this weekend. We might do a running Oscars blog on Sunday night, we’ll see if we go out on Saturday night and if so, how much we drink. Also, I’m not sure why the entire internet is dead set on waxing sentimentally about Conan O’Brien leaving his 12:30 slot, because, you know, he’s just moving to 11:30. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be difficult to remember to set the Tivo an hour earlier than usual, but you only have to do it once.

Laddy buck take home the Irish Spirit Award.

I can understand why everyone at the show would be emotional about the transition (especially those who are going to be left with Jimmy Fallon, who’s already attracting some noteworthy guests), and the format will be a little less zany (no masturbating bear, for instance). Even Max Weinberg is following him out west. The only thing LA is going to change about Conan O’Brien on late night is his skin complexion. And even that’s only a maybe.

Either way, I’ve been told that tonight is his last show in New York. So if you’re looking for a television “moment” this weekend other than the Oscars, that’s about the best you’re going to do.

Onto the links…

So the world economy isn’t doing so hot, and as a result people are trying to incorporate this trend into all sorts of industries so as to still see a profit, even if it’s a relatively diminished one. It seems that even as dimwitted as television sitcoms tend to be, they’ve picked up on this and someone wrote an article about it. I normally wouldn’t even mention it here but…is this going to be the causation of cast members leaving The Office for that spin-off that’s been rumored about for roughly a year now? How fortunate would that be? They miss a golden opportunity to have Ed Helms jump ship for whatever business reason, then in an odd twist of fates, NBC and The Office are bailed out by the recession. It’s good to know that someone is benefiting from this sinking ship.

Speaking of which, this article asks what I’ve long assumed would eventually happen: Is The Office going to dump Michael Scott? Actually, I tend to think it will be the other way around. If Michael Scott is fired or quits Dunder-Mifflin, it will be because Steve Carell decided to make movies full time. It wouldn’t destroy the series but it would definitely give a limp that they’d have to adjust too. I think after season two the series had so much steam with their stars (Michael, Jim, Dwight, Pam) and their backup players (everyone else to varying degrees), that basically everyone was expendable. Even the headliner. So while they needed him for the first two seasons and we’re currently in the sixth, I think paying your dues for four seasons is enough.

The opportunity to put two gingers into the same post is rare, I had to take advantage. Besides, look.

Bit of good news here for all of you that aren’t hopelessly addicted to the NCAA tournament: AMC will rerun the second season of Mad Men beginning March 8th. If you are still unfamiliar with this show, run to Target or something, buy the first season DVD for $20-$30 and make a weekend out of it (you’ll end up saving money if you don’t leave your house), then set your Tivo/DVR/memory to March 8th and watch the best show on television right now.

Amy Smart will play a budding president on the ABC pilot, See Cate Run. Because we all know that future presidents tend to sleep with virtually random men and insist that it be videotaped (NSFW). Nope, I foresee no problems in a campaign for national office there. Look at that, that’s my first not safe for work disclaimer. We’re evolving here at Grid Effect. At least I think we’re evolving.

And finally, Roger Ebert pays tribute to his fallen partner Gene Siskel, ten years after his death. From about 1995 on I always, always watched Siskel & Ebert, and then when it became Ebert and Roeper. Let me assure you that for all the guest hosts and interim hosts and replacement hosts they’ve had over the past fourteen years, not a single pair had better chemistry or complimenting argumentative styles than when Roger Ebert was with Gene Siskel. They made Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon look like Crispin Glover and David Letterman, and I’m one of the few sports fans who actually still enjoys PTI.

That’s it for the week, enjoy the weekend. We’ll post a reminder of sorts if we’re doing the Oscar live blog.

So you may have noticed that the website was on the fritz yesterday. I’m not really sure why, probably because God does not want me finishing that Monday preview I’ve been trying to do for over a month now. Maybe its not specifically for that, but I’m definitely being smited for something. Anyhow, we’ll try to get to it next week. Right now, because we do not have the time or interest in recapping either FNL or Flight of The Conchords, here are some links to kick off the short week at Grid Effect.

So it seems that Jerry Springer was given the ax at America’s Got Talent, and they’ve brought in teen “sensation” Nick Cannon to replace him. I’ve noticed Nick Cannon has been the butt of many jokes as of late about his failed career lately so I put in some quotation marks to join in on the fun, but I don’t understand, isn’t this the kid from Drumline? The movie about college bands and the roughnecks who inhabit them. If I’m not mistaken that was inexplicably taken seriously and was kind of a career starter, was it not? So now he’s hosting reality shows that features those too disillusioned for American Idol? Yikes, he’s like the Fred Durst of actors.

Ed O’Neil, who will always and forever be recognized as Al Bundy by the American public, will be co-starring in an ABC series alongside Sofia Vergara (picture below) for a series about a 60 year-old man married to a 30 year-old woman. Finally, a true Hollywood romance story makes it to television. I never thought we’d see the day. Also, when you hear women complain about Hollywood being far more accepting of older men than women, this is what they’re talking about.

Congratulations are in order to Ed O'Neil.

Unlike his employers, Jay Leno is fully prepared to get his ass kicked in prime time next fall. Jay, my man, you don’t finish fourth in your time slot just by virtue of being on NBC in prime time. No, you finish fourth in your slot on prime time because what NBC usually offers its viewers they wouldn’t watch with a gun to their heads.

Because I guess she figured her persona and television show didn’t already fit the mold of enough stereotypes, Tyra Banks’ audience today will be filled with nothing but divorcees. Next week their audience will have half as many people as usual, because they’re running a special about people who are so obese they require two seats on airplanes and at public functions.

Here’s a plea to not make an Arrested Development movie. In some cases I might side with this perspective, it’s like tarnishing a legacy. But this isn’t a remake The Godfather or anything. It’s a comedy series and it was cut short by at least two seasons, just make the movie to give us a couple more hours of the characters for the overwhelming majority of diehard fans who want to see it. If you’re so convinced its a bad idea, no one is making you get in your car, drive to the movie theater, pay for a ticket and sit there for two hours against your will. It seems pretty avoidable if you have some moral objection to the concept.

Alright, that’s it for now. Back with FoTC recap later.