Grid Effect

Considering we’re not posting anything for tomorrow, we’re going to try an keep things light and optimistic around here. Meaning, most of the news will be good news, and if it’s bad, we’ll try to keep it in good humor to compensate. This is generally what we always do, but the goal is to accentuate the positive heading into the glorious three day weekend that is the 4th of July.

Mainly we wanted to comment on the Rescue Me mini-episodes (I’d rather be drenched in honey and eaten alive by fire ants than use the phrase “minisode” without at least sarcastic quotations). While they’ve been funny at moments, it really is too much of a tease as well as something of a nuisance. I mean, I don’t watch TV really, so there is never anything on Tuesday nights at 10pm that I want to see. But if there were and I still don’t have a recorder of some sort, then I have to cut into the show I planned on watching for five minutes of witty banter.

On top of that, you barely have time to assimilate yourself to the show and soak in the characters before they roll the “mini-credits”. The whole thing is like a lap-dance from a woman you have absolutely no chance with. Never the less, if my ringing endorsement is enough to draw you in, the installments can actually be watched here should you decide this is worth your time.

With the second season of Mad Men less than a month away, we went ahead and pre-ordered the first season DVD’s (actually arrived a day before the official release), and let me just say that the packaging alone on this set is creative enough that it’s like the Helena of Troy of DVD seasons. That’s right, it has the potential to start wars. One of our favorite TV critics actually criticized the set for excessive episode commentaries (it would appear the talent is a little too pleased with themselves). We haven’t gotten around to watching any of the extras on the DVD, though we did see a “Best of Mad Men” half hour special during lunch a few days ago. It was enough to keep us out of work for twenty minutes longer than is necessary and make us pine for the free time to peruse such features on the DVD.

Suddenly I find I’m fending off the urge to smoke. It’s even prettier than the below picture.

Speaking of DVD’s, I have some bad news for all Sopranos fans who have made a point to buy every season on DVD. David Chase and the fine blood-sucking folks over at HBO have opted to release a box set of epic proportions. Now, usually when this is the case, in which something is repackaged and upgraded to be considered the “ultimate” collectors item, I tend to wipe my ass with the shameless capitalism and manipulation. The bonuses that vary from one DVD set to the next tend to be something along the lines of a gag reel and a folded up, crinkled poster they cram inside the box.

But with this new Sopranos incarnation, I think I’m going to have to buy it at its outrageous $400 price tag (The Sopranos first season was the first season of television I ever bought on DVD, and I fully expected every season of every show to run me somewhere in between $60 and $80, so I was delighted when I could get The Wire, FNL, Curb & Mad Men all for under $40). Literally, it has everything that the individual seasons did not: alternate endings, deleted scenes, lost scenes (shit that happened off camera that was in the series), actor, director, writer interviews, three soundtrack discs and even an interview with David Chase by Alec Baldwin (what?). This is like if I was seven years old again, and it had suddenly begun to rain candy like I had always hoped.

The only dilemma is they are planning on doing something similar with The Wire now because HBO is dead set on seeing me live beyond my means. Their plans are a little less polished than those for The Sopranos, because the mafia hit will be an enormous pay day for everyone involved. But with the pending release of the fifth season, do I bite the bullet and purchase it, or do I wait until the probable December release of the box set (mind you, I’m selling all my seasons for both series’ if I invest in the box sets)? This is truly a test of wills for over-privileged fucks like myself.

Back with a couple more random posts today.

Well, we’re back to our old ways. By which I mean we have nothing to write about, so we’re going to resort to links. The links posts are great in that we are afforded the privilege of making pithy, snide comments about several ongoings in the industry. They’re terrible in that it doesn’t appear anyone reads them. Whatever they are, they’re also a reliable failsafe, which is imperative when you’re posting a grand total of once a day.

How is it that musicians  are the most likely entertainers to bottom out and resort to some sort of reality programming, even when it appears they don’t have to? It appears that Xzibit, best known for Pimp My Ride fame but also released two solid rap albums before whoring himself on gimmicky MTV series. Now the “music” network has their claws in Janet Jackson.  Why is she doing this? Does she not have enough money? Is she paying off some of Michael’s debt? When you start following in the footsteps of Tyra Banks, it’s probably time to kiss the limelight goodbye.

In a move that shocks no one, Showtime has picked up the new Peter Tolan series starring Mathew Perry. It was either them or HBO given the bewildering noteworthy utterance of a certain profanity, and HBO is seems happy continuing their descent off the face of the earth.

It’s difficult to say who has had the better post-Friends career, a showtime series with frowned upon epithets might push Perry over the edge.

When people talk about the growing income disparity between the rich and the poor in this country, they always reference falling wages, outsourcing, etc. And all those things play a contributive role, but what about the Lifetime entertainment chief being married to the creator of the American Office? I’m not one to judge, people are free to earn a living any way they can within the confines of the law, but given that haves tend to marry haves and the have nots are left to each other, maybe that factors in as well.

Newsflash! Supposedly the much hyped Rescue Me “minisodes” are going to be humor-centric. Much to my surprise, you can’t tell a decent dramatic story with character the audience is already familiar with in five minutes. I guess my point is, is this even news? Shouldn’t everyone have just assumed that they would be comedic bits? Even those short Coke films they used to show before movies were generic stabs at comedy. I seriously doubt their going to kill off another one of Tommy Gavin’s kids in a five minute episode.

And finally, I’m going to end up on the Hollywood walk of fame. I don’t have set plans to put my hands in cement, but if you look at the current list of celebrities set to do so, then it stands a better chance than not that I will at some point in my life.

That’s it for today, have a good, most likely sports free weekend.

…And we’re back, we took yesterday off for personal reasons. I.E, we felt/feel like shit and any post we would have thrown up on the page might as well have been written in Swahili it would be so incoherent. We’re still a little under the weather so this will definitely be an abbreviated post, but it is better than nothing. Just a little FX binger, to brighten up your day.

It’s Always Sunny creators have asked Bon Jovi to provide a cameo in an upcoming episode in which they buy his arena football league team. This is a fucking excellent premise, and since we do not much care for Bon Jovi we’re kind of hoping he turns down the offer, giving the writers an open window to mock his absurd “music”. We look to Springsteen for our Jersey rock.

See, they’ve already mocked Bon Jovi. Kind of.

Tatum O’Neal, despite recent disprovable drug allegations, is welcome back on the Rescue Me set. Well, it’s a big day for Grid Effect’s favorites. Much like Bon Jovi, we could do without O’Neal on this series, but we wish Buttermaker’s step-daughter all the best.

At least one good thing came out of the writer’s strike: FX canceled Dirt. This is a dark day for people who watch shows solely because the lead actress was integral to one of their favorite shows of all time, so I won’t rejoice too much. We’ve made perfectly clear our feelings on Dirt.

FX: we can never tell where you stand amongst other cable networks, your series’ seem to fluctuate in quality more so than any other cable or broadcast network. Which, sadly enough, probably makes you the most watchable network, because at least it fluctuates.

What makes a Thursday morning better than average? When you can return to writing the same tired useless bullshit that you always did, without feeling guilty because you never tried anything new. No, instead you get to feel guilty because you tried and it failed miserably. Your welcome, 451 press!

So here are some links to help tide you over while we wait patiently for Weeds to kick off its fourth season. But even then our expectations are nil after the most recent effort. We have some issues with that series that we’ll address in our season three recap that will be posted sometime late next week before the June 16th premiere. In the meantime, enjoy reading whatever I can trudge up here.

Alan Sepinwall, probably one of the better TV critics around, only had his blog for the last two seasons of The Wire, of which he wrote detailed recaps for every episode. So instead of letting all reasonable obligations end like that, he’s going back to the pilot episode, and writing a weekly recap for every episode in the first season. Not only that, but he’s doing two separate recaps for each episode, one for people who have seen the entire series, and one for people just tuning in. This is something we would contemplate doing if we had the time, patience, interest or resources to actually see it through.

Here are your top ten series’ with opening credit narrations. It’s tedious, pointless and ultimately kind of idiotic, but we read and enjoyed it anyways. Who doesn’t love a good list?

Mad Men will have moved forward past Don Draper sitting on his steps alone for Thanksgiving for the start of the second season. It didn’t end the first season with the characters in peril, and the season two premiere won’t pick up with them in the same exact scene. In other words, it isn’t Weeds. For which we can all be thankful.

The quintessential American romance.

Comparing and contrasting the strengths and weaknesses of the American and British versions of The Office. Seems like apples and oranges at this point. I mean, the American version has had four seasons, three of which are longer than the entire series of its British predecessor. Next week, I’m writing a post about the dichotomy between The Critic and South Park, mainly because they’re both animated.

Speaking of which, South Park will be available on HD for DirectTV subscribers. It’s a widely known fact that watching comedy in HD makes everything exponentially funnier. Its like being stoned, but on technological advancement.

Rescue Me “minisodes” will debut on June 24th, we might have mentioned that on this site. I know we mentioned the eventual existence of them, but no confident that we had a date. Either way, here it is. I, for one, am tickled to see what exactly a minisode is, other than a thematic commercial.

What a surprise, Mad Men and The Wire lead the way in nominations at the Critic’s Awards. Really, there is nothing comparable in quality, originality and style to these series’ on television. Lost can go fuck itself.

And finally, our other national nightmare might come to an end. Eventually. The Simpsons is guaranteed at least a total of twenty seasons, but for some reason it is speculated that after that 20th season, the series will come to an end. We’d be elated, but we’ll believe it when we see it. The show is an institution, but a crumbling one that needs to go away.

That’s it for today, expect a nightly preview tomorrow.

We’ll have parts three and four in the adventures of NBC executives coming next week, we’re still transcribing a lot of what we heard, and that is no easy task. To get us to next week we’re resorting back to our old ways, and getting you caught up on all the random industry news that no one is particularly interested in. Enjoy.

Some guy won American Idol a couple nights ago. We have no idea what his name is, but it really doesn’t matter. The operative word is “guy”, meaning he’ll be participating in c-list celebrity charity events and on E! reality television shows within the calendar year. Still, 32 million people watched that shit, and that almost seems like an understatement. We were in a Chinese restaurant for our nieces birthday on Wednesday night. Everyone from the bartenders to the waiters to my nieces to my siblings to my cousins were invested in this show. You would have thought a UFO had touched down the way everyone was huddling around the fucking television.

HBO has hired Frank Rich, A NY Times op-ed columnist as a consultant. Seems like a peculiar decision, given the mainstream indifference towards everything involving the NY Times. Maybe they hired him for his opinion, only to do the exact opposite of everything he suggests. Nothing against Frank Rich or the NY Times, but numbers are numbers and they do not play favorably with anything out of their op-ed section. It isn’t like HBO, who play host to Real Time With Bill Maher, hasn’t made their political leanings perfectly clear in the past.

The psuedo-feminist gawker blog Jezebel is watching every episode of Sex and The City in anticipation of the TV show’s theatrical debut. From the way she makes it sound, it’s like the TV equivalent of first time you go back out into public after being in a strip club, in which you expect every conversation with a woman to conclude with the offering of a lap dance. But instead of mistaking innocent exchanges for simulated sex-for-money propositions, you find yourself using tacky puns in everyday conversation and assuming that everyone is speaking in innuendo. In other words, never go to strip clubs, and if you must watch Sex and The City, never do so at a frequency of more than two or three episodes at a time. It’s bad for your real world sensibilities.

Simpsons voice actors (is this the proper terminology?) are now taking home $500,000 an episode. This would have made sense in the mid-90’s when the series was arguably (most likely) the best thing on television, now that it’s sinking like a fucking rock, actually, its been at the bottom of the ocean for about four or five years now, they’re getting a cool half a mil for their efforts? When did the television industry become like NBA contracts?

I usually find myself in a similar predicament at least two or three times a week.

Rescue Me, one of the bigger casualties of the writers strike that still managed to stay on air, is airing ten “minisodes” in lieu of an actual season in 2008. This is a nice gesture, and if you have a Tivo or DVR everything set to record Rescue Me episodes will pick these up, but I still do not have either device so am shit out of luck when it comes to actually catching these things. My life may be rather empty, but not so much that I can make time for something as mundane as a five minute episode of television. Why they don’t put these things up on a youtube channel or something is beyond me. Anyhow, their next season is twenty-two episodes, meaning it’s actually just two seasons without a hiatus.

Survivor is hoping to appeal to a younger audience by–and I kid you not– lowering their age requirements to be on the show from 21 to 18. Umm, this is the same show that had Parvati, Amanda, Jason and Erik on it, right? Something tells me the fountain of maturity wasn’t the culprit for keeping their ratings down. It probably has more to do with after sixteen seasons, everything starts to lose its appeal. But hey, by all means, lower the age limit. They should pull kids out of a TRL crowd if they think that will help their cause.

On the other hand, Survivor’s debut in Israel, much like it was here, has been something of a pop-culture phenomenon. I have no idea what it’s like in Israel for the average joe, but many of the citizens have to consider the name of the reality series in somewhat poor taste. They did an entire Curb Your Enthusiasm episode about this.

And finally in ratings news, FOX finished the season at #1, proving once again that just because you are successful, doesn’t mean you won’t piss us off greatly. And Desperate Housewives is rated the highest scripted series on television by beating out CSI. Proving that ever since The Sopranos went off the air, if you want to engage in any water-cooler discussion at work, then this site is really counterproductive for you.

Back with part three of our epic saga of the NBC executives later today or next Monday.

Stumbling through a post a couple days ago, it dawned on me that the parallels between The Sopranos and Rescue Me have been almost inarguable. From major plot points to character deaths to structural changes, the assertion the Rescue Me is The Sopranos with firemen is not just a loose analogy, but a defining tag line. We are going to compare and contrast the two series’ up through their first four seasons, one season at a time. Let’s look at the similarities, shall we?

Season one of The Sopranos invoked Tony’s conflicted yet sociopath mentality and made the audience sympathetic towards his plight, turning him into a brand of everyman that struggled with home life as much as work. It was, for much of the time, rooted in dark humor as much as it was in drama. Before Paulie learned to cry over his non-mother he was a caricature of a traditional Italian gangster that rarely sported more than a jumpsuit, and his crass simplicity was a defining characteristic. Before AJ was trying to drown himself over a Yeats poem and complaining about the excesses of capitalism, he was the kid cursing the lack of ziti at his birthday party. In short, this series rarely approached addressing the human condition in its first two seasons. It was primarily plot driven, and though it contained subtext and Freudian themes and questioned the legitimacy of contemporary American institutions, it was basically a lighthearted “dramedy” about a mob boss whom we cheered when he told off his mother after she sustained a minor stroke.

Season one of Rescue Me, though rooted in comedy, was much more heavy-handed with its drama. The basic premise was New York firefighters coping with their lives and the immediate fallout from 9/11. Whereas Tony was a criminal millionaire and Tommy Gavin was a working stiff, we knew that despite regularly operating within the confines of the law, Tommy had his own demons to battle. Namely, alcoholism and sleeping with his cousin Jimmy’s widow, whom he regularly saw in his dreams. And while his moral quandaries never ventured into the territory of whether or not to murder someone, they were certainly despicable in that he was even contemplating them.

Tommy and Tony also bout depression in their pilot seasons (and cope with it throughout the series). Tony sought psychiatry at his doctor’s insistence, and Tommy’s mental health was self-medicated with varying forms of alcohol. While Tommy was suffering from survivor’s guilt and the estrangement of his family, Tony was having a difficult time coping with his criminal life, his mother (though not even realizing it) and the notion that the best is behind him and those who, um, procure his lifestyle.

As evidenced by the depression, both characters were burdened with major familial issues, struggling on both ends of the parent-child spectrum. Tommy lost his mother and resorted to little more than bribes and blackmail to extort information from his children about their mother’s boyfriend(s). Tony, still together with his wife, sought therapy after a panic attack and spent the majority of the time exploring his childhood and the volatile relationship he had with his mother, Livia. And he struggled with the everyday detail of child-rearing, balancing the modern (his wife’s and the schools preference) and the traditional (his preference) approaches.

In the non-blood relations of the family, Tony dealt with his best friend possibly turning against him and the managerial aspects of his title of “mob boss”. Keeping everyone in line while humoring them enough so should they ever get arrested for any charge, they won’t turn government witness. Tommy was greeted by his ghost cousin, Jimmy, who offered him advice on his day-to-day life, and wanted information about his wife, Sheila. Whom Tommy saw on a regular basis. Jimmy also regularly provided comedic relief, as did Tony’s friend, Big Pussy (the same friend he was worried about turning to the FBI). Both characters also lost friends, the only difference being Tony was usually responsible for his friends’ deaths, and fires were responsible for Tommy’s. The one exception would be Jackie Aprile, Tony’s long time friend and mob boss who died from cancer early in season one.

There were subplots in both series as well. Chris Moltisanti was the Rescue Me equivalent of Probie (Mike). Both struggling to earn recognition and respect from their mentors (this continues into season two), with little to know success Both series’ had confirmed bachelors in Franco and Paulie, and the protagonists both had “informants” somewhat isolated from the rest of the cast, with detective Mackie in The Sopranos and Johnny, Tommy’s brother, in Rescue Me.

And obviously, the themes were resoundingly similar. Issues dealing with death, aging, religion, family responsibility, generational differences and addiction, all in contemporary America. Season one for both series is often regarded as their magnum opus. And while I tend to disagree in regards to The Sopranos, its only because one and a half of their last two seasons I believe trumped their freshman effort, a point in the series which Rescue Me has yet to attain. And that, along with the strength of “Seven” and “Yaz” are the only reasons I’m coming back for season five.

Links and IASIP recap coming later.

Let me be completely honest here, there was no reason for us to wait an entire week to post this review. The only reason this is the practice for dramas is to serve as a refresher for the new episode on the same night. Obviously, this isn’t necessary for season/series finales. There are occasions when we do not adjust for finales, look at The Sopranos this year, of course we wrote two posts targeting specific issues in the final episode, but the actual recap was a week later, in order to keep schedule, and the fact there was so much to add to it, other than just a simple recap. So, one would think that we detested this finale. And one couldn’t be further from the truth.

But we’re actually just lazy, and found it immensely enjoyable. No, Tommy didn’t wake up from a coma and prove this season to be nothing more than an illustration of his subconscious (though we’re still not ruling that out), but several of the subplots were answered, the Gavin family stayed primarily sober (even at a fucking baseball game that included Teddy), black Sean and Colleen are mutually getting back at Tommy (this story could really go either way, they could be genuinely interested in one another, they could be on different plains or they could both be using each other), Franco executed probably the best revenge I’ve ever seen, Callie Thorne brought the house down with her pitch-perfect crazy-dramatic acting, Janet looks like she’s out of the picture for good, Lieu reconciled with his cousin and, last but not least, Pa Gavin died in the middle of a baseball game. Honestly, this is Rescue Me, did anyone think a significant death wouldn’t occur?

That last scene at the minor league baseball game, where Tommy seems to be having the first wholesome fun with his dad in years, really brought home how miserable many of these characters lives have been, particularly Pa’s. He’s an alcoholic, has a second family against his better judgement, treated his wife with nothing but disdain while she was alive, the felt nothing but heartache when she died, spent his twilight years trying to repent and frightened of his own mortality. He’s one of the more tragic figures on television, and now he’s gone. It’s a damn shame to, Charles Durning was handily the best dramatic actor in the cast. Given his age, that had to be an emotional scene for him.

It seemed obvious something significant was going to happen at that baseball game. For one, the 11pm marker was fastly approaching, then Lieu went off on his baseball-as-a-metaphor-for-life tangent, and either Tommy was going to snap out of his coma, or someone was going to get plugged in the head with a foul ball, or Pa Gavin was going to die spontaneously. There seems to be mixed reviews about said speech. Personally, it did seem a little aimless and sloppy, and felt like to could have been better constructed, but it was delivered well by John Scurti and after dissecting it, it does seem to make more sense. But the metaphor is a tired one (Field of Dreams has been referenced twice this season, given me all the more reason to believe Tommy might actually be dead), and could have probably used a rewrite.

The only other real dramatic were all the rumors that Sheila’s dead husband had been walking around the firehouse and been spotted in the field (i.e. at fires). This, as we know, is Tommy walking around in his dead cousins jacket with no explanation as to why. But bviously if he didn’t tell anyone in the house, Tommy isn’t going to inform Sheila about his prank (which is essentially all it is). This really re-emphasized how much Sheila misses her passed husband and that she is still grieving, it was borderline heartbreaking to watch her fret over not getting a visit from him because she slept with Tommy, when Tommy is the one pulling the hoax. Also, on a shallow note, when I saw Callie Thorne naked in the first season of The Wire, it was probably one of the five greatest days of my life. So my assessment of her capacity for acting might be somewhat biased. Just sayin’.

As for all the less emotionally tolling subplots, Franco putting Natalie’s mind at ease about being patient with her decision making process after discovering she lied to him, then marrying Richie to the girl in the wheelchair against Natalie’s wishes was absolutely hilarious. Sure, some might call it immature, some might even call it inconsiderate, manipulative, jealous and downright evil. But on this website we call it a dish best served cold. What was he supposed to do? Wait for her to decide if she wants to get back together with him? After being dumped on a whim for another guy, then asked to watch her mentally challenged brother so she could see if she wants to move to Chicago with another guy (though claiming she is interviewing for jobs)? I thinks not.

The black Sean-Colleen storyline is one with a lot of promise. Tommy’s reaction to it should be impeccably comedic and frightening, and since this is Rescue Me, it’s going to turn out ugly for one of them. I’m hoping it’s for Sean, because all logic would point to Colleen getting the short end of the stick on this one.

Tommy’s love life, for once, wasn’t in dominating focus, which probably explains why I enjoyed this episode so much. We saw him restraining himself physically with Janet, when in every similar situation in episodes past, he has succumbed to temptation (her to). It seemed like the sobriety is working well on him, because he wisely walked out the door. He then went back and pulled the caveman stunt with Gina Gershon (Valerie), where he all but forced her into some lingerie, took off his overshirt and sat at a table in a wife beater reading a newspaper, demanding she cook him a steak. It was all to similar to Pete Campbell’s hunting fantasy in Mad Men, only he didn’t slaughter the cow himself.

So there it is, no word on whether or not there will be a fifth season, but this finale left open many loose and intriguing ends. In my opinion, it helped salvage some mediocre work from Tolan and Leary, and opened up the window for some damage control. In short, here’s hoping this precludes there best work yet. If you think about how similar the parallels are to this and a series Leary most likes to model his own after, The Sopranos, its eerily similar (though I’m sure not coincidental). And for my money, I’ll take the fifth season of Chase’s saga over any other season he did.

Actually, I’m going to compare and contrast the two series’ similarities either today or tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Well, the season finale is tonight. Definitely a lack of buzz compard to past seasons, in fact, I can hardly remember what happened last week. Something about Tommy secretly fighting fires without his counterparts any the wiser. I don’t know, it was damn weird, to say the least. I get the feeling that this season is going to end up being a Tommy Gavin dream, because there is nothing at stake going into this finale.

Actually, strike that, Black Sean (new probie) and Mike (former probie) got into something of a dust up when Mike called out Black Sean for using the tips he gave him against Tommy in last weeks hockey game. Really, I’m not entirely sure what else Mike thought Black Sean was going to do with pointers that were nothing more than strategy to be used against Tommy Gavin on a hockey rink. I guess Mike is naive and stupid. Anyways, the shoving ensued after Black Sean accused Mike of wanting to emulate Tommy. So, maybe that will and maybe that won’t be touched on this episode.

One thing that’s been unique about this season vs. the previous three is every scene seems to involve Tommy in some way. The only exceptions I can think of are the Franco-Natalie-Susan Sarandon drama, Lieu’s issues with his brother and former ex-nun girlfriend (though he did discuess much of this with Tommy) and I suppose instances of Chief’s suicide Tommy wasn’t privy to. Other than that, we’ve been inundated with Tommy Gavin, even if its something as mundane as him walking around NYC making/receiving phone calls with a dog that could scare the night.

This issue with him running into fires and making saves while wearing a dead man’s fire jacket (someone named Keefe, cannot remember if we ever met him or not). Needless to say, if this isn’t a dream, then I’m not really interested in whatever the explanation is going to be. Maybe he’s doing it to prove a point to himself, when Black Sean said he signed up to be a hero, Tommy resented the motivation. Maybe this is Tommy’s catharsis in finding meaning in his job without the glorification?

Actually, if this season is an unconscious experience, it sounds like its more of a nightmare than a dream. His wife left him, the two women in his life are fighting over the same kid, and now chief Feinberg (aka Hesh) hates him because he is under the impression Tommy disrespected his daughter, played by Amy Sedaris, on a date (that entire storyline has me confused). Oh, the Gina Gershon thing is still happening. At least Tommy had the foresight to arrive with Fresca in hand. Unless you’re a bisexual married man who cheats on his wife, this is the most bizarre love life imaginable.

Probably my favorite scene from last week was the dualing “guys night out” scene. One with Mike and Garrity proving they’re alcoholics to Lieu and his cousin in a dive bar, and the other with Franco and Black Sean at a trendy NYC night club, full with curtains and multi-colored lighting. This series isn’t really trying to break that misogyny tag when they have Garrity waking up horrified by the woman lying next to him. This didn’t really include Tommy in anyway.

If he is in a coma or what have you, maybe they are in his hospital room discussing the details of either the upcoming evening or the evening beforehand? I know, I’m stretching. But I’ve always said this series attempts to model itself as much as possible after The Sopranos. And when Tony was in his coma, everything his friends and family were discussing with him was reflected in his dream/supernatural experience.

Also, his daughter still hates his guts, even after he was proved right about her now former boyfriend, who married someone else (presumably one of her friends). Tommy completely overwhelming the kid, then being relieved when he discovered the ring the kid bought on his credit card was for another girl, was pretty damn funny. You just have to approve of the self-interest and twisted sense of morals.

Another uplifting, vintage Rescue Me scene I liked was the Gavin AA meeting that ended with the hot-headed lawyer cousin and Lenny Clarke standing in opposite corners, facing the wall, with the schoolroom they were held up in turned upside down by the presumable off screen scuffle. It’s humor like that, that just doesn’t exist anywhere else on television.

Anyhow, that is pretty much it, Here’s somewhat looking forward to tonight’s episode, If only because it’s a finale, and I want to see how they conclude a mediocre and (by all accounts) disappointing season. It can still be salvaged with a decent conclusion tonight, but it will take something remarkable. Like Tommy growing wings and learning to fly, or Mike embracing his homosexuality, or Lieu paying someone in prison to kill the girl who stole all his money. Either way, I’m on the fence as of now, and something needs to happen to guarantee I’m back for a fifth season.

You know what’s really great about Rescue Me? It’s the short episode titles. Other series’ like Friday Night Lights or The Wire tend to elongate their headings. Sure, the episodes themselves might be more insightful or have better narrative structure. But I can’t always fit the full title in the allotted space in the websites title bar, sometimes its extended and the first letters of the title post are taken out of the shot. So, Rescue Me, I’ve been hard on you this season (though not as hard as most), but there is a feather in your cap. Keep up the good work.

This episode opened with Tommy dreaming about everyone on his crew (Sean, black Sean, Probie, Franco & Kenny) dying in a fire. Only, we weren’t supposed to know its a dream until he wakes up. It was like the biggest non-surprise in television history. And its shit like this (that is becoming redundant) that is making it difficult to take the series seriously. I mean, the scene itself was well-executed, and it illustrated what I imagine is a fireman’s worst on-the-job fears, but I guess I just didn’t see the relevance of having it in there. Other than to maybe demonstrate that despite how self-destructive Tommy Gavin is, he still has something to lose? Your guess is as good as mine.

The highlight of the episode belonged to Charles Durning, who by all accounts has been woefully underused this season. Tommy had developed a resurgence of faith ever since his rescue of the window worker the week before and he used a prayer to overcome his resurgent fear of heights. Tommy’s dad (played by Durning), explained to him his disbelief in God, and how his own mortality haunts him everyday. This after Tommy’s entire family mocked him for praying for any guidance at one of their makeshift AA meetings. Looking into Durnings old, probably failing eyes as he regaled these legitimately morbid thoughts was chilling, to say the least. And he really managed to knock Tommy out of his born-again-ness.

Other than that, we had another dialogue deprived scene between Tommy and Gina Gershon, whose name we found out this week was Valerie, or Val, which makes Tommy think of Val Kilmer in Tombstone. Tommy getting his daughter the car he promised her last week to keep him in the family loop, she needs a philips head to start it but the issue never broached. At least not with her. What’s worse, he traded the car in an even swap for the escalade. Which, I guess he can afford it, since he still has all that good baby selling money. Speaking of which, apparently he still plans on Janet getting tired of watching the kid with her new job and boyfriend, so Sheila is anticipating getting Dylan/Elvis back sooner than later. Also, Tommy is fucking obsessed with Eric Clapton.

In the rest of the firehouse, Kenny is losing his mind over some chocolate pizza made by his cousins girlfriend that he is contemplating having revenge sex with. Franco is unimpressed with Natalie’s new boyfriend and insulted that she is dating some he deems unworthy so soon after they broke off their engagement. And Garrity is still pretending to be a drunk to finagle his way into the Gavin AA meetings.

Again, I may have been overly harsh in the opening paragraph, but the episode just seemed so aimless. We really do not feel like we’ve had a good episode since “Seven”, but we’re watching tonight, and it’s still open season as to whether we cut this or Entourage from weekly episode recaps.

Any preference?

I completely forgot about this, so just a quick impression of last Wednesday’s episode before the following one in ten minutes or so here.

This episode had its moments: Tommy’s lecture about race/ethnic relations in the NYFD, his reaction to hearing Janice was sleeping with her new boss, etc. But there were too many leaps of faith taking place. For instance, Janet’s new job. I am to assume she is being promoted so quickly because she is sleeping with her boss, who is exceptionally younger than her, but why must everything be so convenient? Can’t they find some logical way for her to piss off Tommy? It just seemed to preposterous, with him walking in there and immediately being intimidated. Remember Roger from season one? He was loaded, it didn’t really seem to bother Tommy. Just the fact that he was there seemed to bother him. On top of that, this has been an awfully abrupt recovery from postpartum depression. Really, like record setting. And is the kid still crying uncontrollably when Janet is holding him?

Also, Sheila is content with Janet/Colleen watching the kid all of a sudden? It seemed like she wanted to exclusively raise Elvis (whom by the way has now been named Wyatt by Janet, which I suppose is his legal name). And she is letting Tommy keep the money. I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode where George is ranting about Kramer going to a fantasy camp because his entire life is a fantasy. This, is my basic theory about Tommy Gavin.

Speaking of which, the fear of heights was out of left field, the theory over on TWoP is that Tommy is in a Tony Soprano-esque limbo, and we’re simply waiting for him to wake up. A sudden fear of heights seems like it would symbolize that. And, to be honest, that would be a welcomed twist. Because the more of this season I watch, with a few exceptional episodes, the more I want to forget it ever happened.

The entire Franco thing is completely implausible. If he’s going to plot revenge against anyone, why not Susan Sarandon? She did, after all, kidnap his daughter. Oh well, at least he has someone to spy on Natalie: her mentally handicapped brother. Classy.

Some things I liked:

-The AA meeting

-Lou plotting revenge against Artie Lange

…Along with what was mentioned in the first paragraph, I think that is it. Hit or miss, as always. I think its self-explanatory which category this falls in. Enjoy tonight’s episode.

Sorry for teh extremely late post, today has been like one of those days were if I was to get in a fender bender, someone might end up dead in the ensuing confrontation. On top of not having any internet access at work or my house (they’re a mile apart) and being backloaded with detail as a result, I never got around to rewatching this episode, so I’ll just give some brief, vague interpretations.

The episode simply meandered through the first fifty minutes until Tommy’s heartfelt lamenting on the rooftop with Mike. I’m afraid this was another episode in which all the scenes are completely interchangable. Look, I get the drama and the built tension they put into accentuating Mike’s loneliness, but can’t someone on this show have a personal problem and not resort to extreme resolutions? What’s funny about this is Mike’s plight seemed more genuine and founded in reality than 90% of the other character arcs we’ve seen on this show. But enough is enough, we need to see some coping skills out of someone at some point.

In a completely unrelated note, the opening scene with Leary and Gina Gershon certainly isn’t going to quell the “Leary is in love with himself” crowd. And it did seem kind of contrived, but my beef with the show isn’t Leary’s cock getting the soft core treatment, its that this episode lacked any kind of structure. And that is becoming way too common with this series.

For instance, a scenario with as much potential as Maggie going to an intervention for alcoholism, it just missed on essentially every note (sans Steve Pasquale as Garrity, who was in rare form). I’m note sure what it was either, it seemed like they might have been trying too hard with virtually every Gavin there. But more likely, its that they never followed up on it. I wasn’t expecting another intervention, but at least a mention of it outside the group. Hopefully this will be a regular setting, because like stated before, its rife with potential.

It really seems like I’m waffling with this series, but there is so much asymmetry to it that I’m not really sure there is a consistent perspective to have. The final scene epitomizes that. It was reflective and enlightening as Tommy began to drink while regaling the loss of his kid, but out of nowhere he jumps off the roof and lands on a stairwell that isn’t up to code and begins cracking. Why did they do this? Well, I’m not sure. It wasn’t meant to be a cliffhanger, since they immediately showed Tommy in the previews for tonights episode. I guess it was supposed to symbolize the detriment of his alcoholism, but either way I didn’t get it.

Anyway, I’ll finish out this season, and decide whether I cut this or Entourage from my weekly recaps, because I can’t handle them both.

Not exactly the follow-up most of us were looking for to one of Rescue Me’s better episodes in a while.

Predictably, as I’m sure you heard, Tommy did not kill his non-biological son. But the leap-of-faith had already been taken and soured the audience. Never-the-less, I give them credit for not completely ruining the show and just having Tommy sell his child to Sheila. Which, ultimately, is probably the best thing for Elvis (Sheila’s chosen name, I would have preferred to stick with Capernious, the name Grid Effect deigned him). Still, who the hell sells kids? Regardless of blood relations. Has Queens turned into North Korea?

Anyhow, outside of Tommy dealing with the fallout with his Janet, and Franco being torn between his loyalties to his daughter and Natalie, this episode was fairly low on the dramatics. But outside of Kenny it wasn’t particularly funny, hence the problem.

For starters, Janet ran over Tommy with her car with their daughter in the backseat. Not only is this a traumatizing moment for the kid, but a potentially deadly one for Tommy. Then for her to open her door and turn around to say, “I wasn’t driving fast enough” after Tommy said, “You could have killed me” is just too idiotic. It isn’t a feather pillow you’re hitting him with, Janet, it’s two tons of steel. People have died from a lot less. This is after she hit him with a frying pan during a scuffle in the kitchen. Classy. I think next week they accidentally tip over a trailer while arguing inside of it.

Of course this led to that unseemly hallucination scene with Tommy taking an axe to his walls. That was interesting. It seems that a lot of trouble in Tommy’s life stems from his inability to cope with death, of his friends, family and coworkers. But scenes like this are almost too grating. It did drive him to consume alcohol again, so I guess that’s a plot point.

Franco having to be lectured by Susan Sarandon about what he wanted in his relationship with Natalie like he was ten years old was kind of annoying. Honestly, is anyone that emotionally stunted? Also, it didn’t really seem like Franco was making the compelling of a case for why he proposed to Natalie, “I think she might be the one…she’s really cool” are not exactly ringing endorsements for someone you plan on marrying. But for now, that looks like the path he’s been talked into. One does have to admire he was considering marrying Sarandon just to appease his daughter, regardless of how short-sighted it is. I mean, she did kidnap his daughter in the first place.

Amy Sedaris (of Stangers with Candy fame) had a small cameo in this episode, as the quirky, talkative daughter of the new house captain, Hesh (as he was known on Sopranos, at least), but known on this show as Chief Feinberg. This led to a battle of wills between Kenny and Tommy as to who would take her on a date. In one of the more ambiguous endings this show has had, Tommy pulls some guy from a burning building while trying to ditch Sedaris on their date, only to have Gina Gershon, whom he was eyeing in the restaurant, come up and stuff her number in his shirt pocket. No word as to whether or not we’ll see Sedaris again. Maybe that’s who Kenny will end up having kids with.

Other notes:

-Mike is lonely

-Sean is going to try and rekindle his marriage with Maggie. Why? No idea.

Not that I’m not entertained by the series, but I’m certainly not interested in any of the running subplots. They seem to still be making it up as they go along, with no logical conclusion in site. I’ll still continue to watch because I’m a cheap whore, apparently, but it has nothing to do with Rescue Me still consistently being gripping drama.

Technical problems again. Sorry for the delay.

Well, one would initially think the episode would be some sort of off-brand homage to the David Fincher film, but instead is the number of children the crew lost in a fire in the opening scene. And, let me put it this way, I am not usually one for musical montages, this series does them better than most, partly because the subjects are so palatable and the music is apropos (The Twilight Singers, “The Lure Would Prove too Much” in this case), but mainly because they are just better executed than any other television show.

This opening scene is a reminder of why people love this series. And it wasn’t just the scene itself but rather everything that happened after it. The quiet ride back to the firehouse, Needles’ (the new chief) speech afterwards and everyone’s visceral reaction that seemed to resonate with not only the audience, but the characters as well. This, by any measure, was one of the better constructed episodes of Rescue Me from any season…Until the closing scene.

Having Tommy hang his newborn over a river was one of the more horrifyingly unnecessary things anyone could have ever seen on television. It trumps everything I have seen on The Wire and The Sopranos, and those series revolve around hardened criminals. First off, I understand the build up in the episode to it. Starting with the fire, then Tommy’s spiritually conflicted conversation with Mic, and then his evil conscious taking the form of Johnny (his dead brother, in case you didn’t know or have since forgotten) convincing him to “drop him into the water … because you’ll never be able to forgive me for what I’ve done (fucking your estranged wife and impregnating her)”. Ultimately, the reason Tommy was contemplating this, related to his wife’s inability to cope with her post-partum depression. Which, in all actuality, is insane and completely illogical.

My biggest qualm with even suggesting Tommy would kill his probably non-biological infant son was that it goes against everything he stands for. This was the same guy who beat his newly discovered priest half-brother to a pulp for molesting one of his alter boys, who’s devastated by losing children in fires and is haunted by the loss for years afterwards, who prays by a kids bedside for him to fully recover from severe burns despite his absence of faith.

I understand the culmination of events leading up to it in the episode, but the history of the show refutes everything about the decision. Still, assuming they do not kill Capernious, it will be interesting to see how they handle the storyline tonight, or if they even touch on it. If Capernious is in fact murdered by the hands Tommy Gavin, I’ll most likely stop recapping Rescue Me. It’s annoying and far-fetched enough to have him even contemplating something so heinous, with really no character indication that it’s something he is even capable of. In addition, some would already argue that Tommy Gavin already is, but he would be inarguably past the point of redemption at that point.

Franco and Kenny seemed the most affected by the seven children lost in the fire, especially in the aftermath. Kenny, now reevaluating his life, has decided he wants kids, something the sexually liberated ex-nun wasn’t game for. He reconnected with Artie Lange (playing his cousin that slept with said ex-nun) and seemed moderately depressed; though not anywhere near where he was when that whore stole all his money.

Franco has been reintroduced to his daughter by Susan Surandon, who kidnapped Keela under the guise that he isn’t fit to be a father and that he was raising her illegally, so he couldn’t report it. But anyhow, Susan Sarandon wants to get back together for the sake of Keela, presumably not realizing that she is sixty years old and that he’s in his late-20’s. Never the less, Franco is considering this option, after stumbling upon Richie sleeping in his bed next to his fiancee and a picture of Franco and Natalie on a nightstand being overshadowed by several of her brother. Tough call, do you get back with the crazy woman who stole your child from you and took her to Europe strictly for the sake of that child; or do you stay with the sweet, demure woman your own age with a body that turns heads? Seriously, tough call.

The only levity this episode came from their first basketball game in which Kenny led the most spirited timeout cheer I’ve ever seen or heard, and Garrity and Mike reconciling over Garrity burnt down his house (”so that’s why the guys have been calling you zippo”). Oh, and Sheila’s ex-boyfriend tearing down the “Tommy shrine” after he “let” all the kids die in the fire. What a putz.

All in all, a fantastic episode, but that ending leaves a sour taste in your mouth. And almost negates any progress in the fifty-eight minutes leading up to it. But, like mentioned before, we’re really anticipating tonight’s venture.

ETA: As a programming note, Hard Knocks, the introspective HBO series on an NFL mini-camp starts tonight at 10pm et. This go around is with the Kansas City Chiefs, which means it’s with Herm Edwards (one of the more vibrant coaching personalities) and Larry Johnson (who is borderline crazy). If you have HBO, try and record both this and Rescue Me, or one of them and watch the other at its regular time, both should be worthwhile.

Well, it was mentioned last week that this episode of Rescue Me was stellar, even exceeded expectations. But I’m pretty much resigned to the fact that while these episodes are entertaining and the stories occasionally, nay, generally entertaining, they offer little in the way of substance. Not to say incredibly dramatic and devastating things do not take place, because they do ever so frequently, but nothing is ever made of them. Outside of Tommy still being on the wagon and Franco cutting back on his womanizing, very little has changed in the way of the characters who are still alive.

This episode maintained my interest because it focused on similar themes stressed in The Sopranos, mainly that of aging, but little will come of it. With Tony Soprano, after he was shot, he was continuously battling with his criminal underlings for the proper respect I imagine a mob boss must command. Tommy is never going to be put in a similar situation, if I had to guess he’s either going to beat the snot out of Larenz Tate or come to the realization that he isn’t as physically impressive as he once was when Larenz Tate smacks him around. Not exactly as introspective as anything I have seen on David Chase’s show. This can’t exactly replicate its blatant inspiration, but it could try and actually delve into the characters psyche for more than ten minutes.

I really hate to keep harping on this series not meeting the criteria of The Sopranos because really, nothing ever has (even The Wire is so starkly different than The Sopranos in subtext and delivery). But the most obvious example I can think of that separates a work of art from just an entertaining show is how Tony dealt with the Feech La Manna (Robert Loggia) situation. Tony, after his (at the time) estranged wife expressed to him how all of his “friends” simply placate his ego out of fear rather than general admiration, harks back to an awful joke he made wherein everyone laughed hysterically except Feech, who was stone cold silent. Realizing this means he is neither amused nor afraid of Tony, he has him framed and sent back to prison so as not to be a threat to his life or freedom a la Richie Aprile. My question is, when has something similar to this ever taken place on Rescue Me? Isn’t Tommy Gavin the same exact person he was in the pilot, sans alcoholism. Maybe he is a little more remorseful (look at his speech in the bar in “Twilight”), but it doesn’t really reflect his actions, at least not off the job. He seems to be a little more reckless on it.

Anyways, now that I am done ranting, this episode featured Tommy angrily protesting the new arrangement with the not-probie who has some basketball skills, as it sort of belittles everything firehouse camaraderie stands for. Garrity burning down Mike’s apartment while discovering his parents were gay, Tommy still trying to determine the length of new chief’s endowment, and Janet continuing her downward spiral in postpartum depression, motivating Tommy to reconsider Sheila’s proposition to essentially buy his newborn kid. Also, Tommy cannot play basketball, and I imagine neither can Dennis Leary. But that is it, nothing else needs detailed and if you missed last weeks episode, you are not caught up to watch in three hours.

Then again, maybe the entire show is a metaphor for the short attention span of the country, or the paradox facing the modern adult male in terms of his traditional role as strong, undaunted provider and emotional stagnation. Either way, I feel like I would be giving it too much credit to use either of these brooding themes to classify the series. As of now I am looking forward to watching tonight, but not expecting anything deeper than surface entertainment, which is fine. I just wish they would stop pretending something more profound is taking place.

Alright, new plan. Since I need to write something covering last weeks episode and post it with an ample amount of time before tonight’s episode airs, we’re going to forego the general scene-by-scene recap and more or less summarize the entire thing in a couple paragraphs. I know this comes as a major disappointment to the seventeen of you that regularly read this blog.

Essentially, everything in Tommy’s life is falling apart.

The end.

Kidding, though that wouldn’t really be a far-fetched sufficient synopsis. I actually really enjoyed this episode, much like Entourage, this is two weeks in a row where I’ve been pleasantly surprised.

In this episode, Tommy deals with the reality of aging, which reflects on his ability to raise a newborn, poor performance on the ice rink and in the back of Jennifer Esposito’s car. One thing I have always wondered about that, why have their sexual encounters always taken place in her SUV? She can afford the SUV, so does she live in it as well? I know Tommy is and will be reluctant to take a woman back to his place with his ex-wife and kids waiting up there, but is her place in Long Island so inaccessible that they must use a car? Everytime?

But yeah, she throws him around effortlessly and emasculates him about it later. This entire charade is just so extreme in order to compensate for the numerous criticisms about this shows portrayal of women, that its in an unintentional comic tailspin. Honestly, if Leary and Tolan want to wave a white flag with its offended (former) audience, then just have Leary not engage in intercourse with a single female cameo. Because honestly, that hasn’t happened since Susan Sarandon and Diane Farr, who were both plowed by Franco instead.

Sheila is now offering Tommy $400,000 for his (technically Johnny’s, it looks like) and Janet’s son, named by this web site since they have yet to name him on the show, Capernious. Its repulsive on several levels, but admittedly practical. Tommy doesn’t want to afford Capernious now, especially since he is skeptical of who the biological father is, the kid hates Janet, they are financially strapped as is, but between the monetary olive branch and the dumping of Capernious onto Sheila, the future is looking less grim.

Tommy is clearly considering the proposition, though has yet to mention anything to Janet. He certainly looks ready to broach the subject when he comes home to discover Janet left Capernious and Katie home alone to buy a bottle of wine, and that Katie was leaning over Capernious’ crib wishing him dead. One would think living with both parents being non-biological is a better environment than this. And the impression I get from the dream Tommy had about the kid getting ran over by a semi (Note: Between this and the mythic shadowed figure telling Tommy to go to an AA meeting, and the closeup shot of the text, this show has taken enough cues from The Sopranos, it’s time to stop), they certainly be steering towards killing this Capernious off, which is just wholly unnecessary.

The hockey scene was extremely baffling. Out of nowhere Tommy is three steps behind the action and takes an earful from his coach who benches him mid-second quarter, then a cop on the opposing team whom Tommy challenges to a fight, and said cop pities him to the point where he refuses to throw down, which I guess is supposed to be the ultimate form of disrespect amongst these ranks. This is essentially parallel to Tony Soprano’s plight after Junior gunned him down. And while Tony Soprano took out an underling dubbed Muscles Marinara, Tommy is probably going to unleash his wrath on someone nicknamed Brutish Boiled Potato. or Probie.

Other notes:

-Kenny’s dick is fatigued from constant sex with the former nun, who plays Christian’s aids stricken ex-girlfriend on Nip Tuck. He asks for an extended intermission.

-The house has a new chief played by Hesh from The Sopranos. Depending on how much this series wants to (try and) replicate David Chase’s masterpiece, he’ll probably have a thing for black women. Right now he is cannon fodder for every Jewish stereotype anyone has ever known.

-Franco has asked Natalie to marry him and she has accepted. Which means that in four episodes time, something catastrophic is going to happen in the immediate future, or his daughter will come back or Susan Sarandon is going to murder the entire lot of them. In the vein of this series, I’d suspect an almost drops on Natalie’s head, but Richie catches it, saving Natalie, but is eventually crushed under the weight of the thing.

-Still no real mention of Chief, other than a short discussion over where to put his ashes. No explanation as to why his son wouldn’t/doesn’t receive them.

-Franco and Kenny persuaded Larenz Tate (Bart) to play basketball for their fire house by bartering probie work and agreeing to call him Sean. This is unquestionably the funniest scene this season, trumping the one where Garrity admits to fantasizing about Janet.

I know the tone of the recap sounded cynical and disparaging, but that’s just for kicks and because I cannot remember the episode that vividly. All in all, I was satisfied with it and hope they keep up the trend tonight, best solution for that would be to focus on this basketball subplot. If I can get that, between it and the USA scrimmage this past Sunday, it would all but remedy my basketball interest back to full stength after these horrifying NBA ref scandal.