Grid Effect

A little upswing in television news lately, unfortunately about 80% of it revolves around late night talk shows. We’re just going to skip all of that and try to bring you the interesting part of the remaining 20%, which leaves us with about 5% of the news items available.

As you have probably heard by now, Mad Men has an official premiere date for the third season. I’ll just go ahead and kill the suspense: it’s August 16th. We’re still over two months away but it feels oh so close. This is how desperate we are for good news in television, a show that we knew would be released in August makes headlines when which day in August it will be on air. And there were really only five days too choose from since we knew it would be a Sunday. Whatever, the general mundaneness of this news isn’t going to kill my buzz over hearing it.

As if I needed another reason to feel giddy this morning: Michael K Williams has signed on for a part in Martin Scorsese’s Boardwalk Empire, which will air on HBO once they pick up the pilot. If you don’t know who Michael K. Williams is, you might know him better as Omar Little. And if you don’t know who Omar Little is, then I’m taking my ball and going home, because I don’t think we can be friends anymore.

You may have noticed that we’ve been intentionally avoiding all the David Carradine, part of that has been out of respect for the actor and his family, but mostly because the somewhat abnormal circumstances surrounding the case have led pretty much everyone to believe that there are some sordid details that won’t come out for awhile, if ever. Well, the leaking of new information continues, so we’ll just stand guard for now.

A producer for Lost has come out and said they’ll have a “real” finale, “unlike The Sopranos”. You may remember when a producer for The Shield did the same thing, and maybe it’s just me but I find myself wondering where these guys find the balls to do shit like this. Do they not understand? If it wasn’t for The Sopranos none of you fucks would even have a show to worry about a finale. It started the whole “TV as cult following” movement and dragged a dying medium (scripted televised dramas) out from the gutter. To his credit he did say that The Sopranos was “brilliant”, but it seems a tad disingenuous when you follow that up with, “(Lost) is going to have a real ending”.

Here’s a list of television’s twenty least feminist characters. There isn’t really thing to argue here, but I will say that feminist have some lofty demands of who their pop-culture icons should be. That’s probably why there’s so few of them. That, and no one really identifies as a feminist anymore, even if they adhere to feminist principals. I think it’s time for a re-branding.

The end of Summer cannot come soon enough.

Here’s Danny DeVito drunkenly forcing — intentionally or otherwise — one of the more awkward interviews you’ll ever see on local television. You could dump five gallons of Nickelodeon ooze on these two and it really wouldn’t seem that out of place. Between this and Pat Tomasulo from WGN trash-talking to a four year-old in a take of one-on-one basketball, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to start watching more local news. My favorite part from either of these is when Tomasulo says, “don’t bring that in here, Tyler“, just so the kid knows exactly how much the guy from the TV hates his guts.

OK, a couple late night items: I know I’ve been giving Stephen Colbert the business as of late (and I’m sure its gotten back to him and just devastated his week), but his shows from Iraq have been as genuinely funny and enjoyable as anything he’s ever done on his show. He’s also giving a voice to the military, something so many people that have been in a similar position have failed to do. Also,  The segments at Fort Jackson have been especially entertaining.

And finally, everyone is rushing to call the move of Conan to 11:30 a mistake since Letterman beat him in the ratings this week. I’d tell everyone to relax, since I don’t think Letterman will be able to book guests with the same clout as Howard Stern and Julia Roberts every week, nor will he always inadvertently crack pedophilia jokes at the expense of a conservative politician’s daughter. Or maybe he will if it means improved ratings, I don’t know. Considering he is basically the only entity at CBS that has been losing to his contemporary at NBC, staying on top might result in an extreme course of action. You’re just the beginning of it, Willow.

Back tomorrow to close out this week, probably with some links. We’re working on procuring Showtime so expect that Weeds recap by Monday, if not tomorrow.

We have a full week’s worth of news items to get too, and given our penchant for delving into petulant rants and veering off-topic, this might take awhile. God damn it I don’t want to be doing this, why is it always my responsibility to make sure my site is updated regularly with new content? Hey, what would be a stranger site: seeing a leprechaun ride a unicorn or a unicorn ride a dragon? I’m going to go with the latter, since a unicorn is a mythical horse, and horses are generally the ridden half of the equation, not the ones doing the riding.

See what I mean?

I don't get it.

Mary Louise-Parker now says that she was misquoted in regards to her nude scene in the season four finale of Weeds. Claiming (in jest, obviously sort of) that she “likes to reveal herself” and that she’s “always naked”. That’s a relief. Now I don’t have to feel like such a creep every time I post a picture of a scantily clad forty- something actress and mother of three. Like this one to the right.

Much has been made of Conan O’Brien’s set. I never thought I’d see the day in which a television set turned into Jimmy Hoffa disappearance, but here we are. At least someone is actually doing something with all this collected data, and pointing out that the asymmetric design bares a striking resemblance to Super Mario Bros. when filled in. Also, a couple weekends ago I referenced Super Mario Bros. to some random stranger at a gathering, and he hadn’t the foggiest idea what I was talking about. “I don’t play video games” was his response before awkwardly parting ways. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t something like Super Mario Bros. a staple of American culture at this point, like Coke? You don’t need to drink soda to know what Coke is, I would assume the same is true for the most infamous video game ever made. Whatever, it was perplexing is all.

Semi-good news for some: Demetri Martin’s Person has been picked up for a second season by Comedy Central. I was kind of lukewarm on this, but it’s a solid variety show that produces way more laughs per minute than SNL, which isn’t necessarily a recommendation. Still, the show is ambitious enough that I would like to see if Martin can build off what he was working on in season one. Look at Chapelle’s Show for an example that reflects how much a show like this can build in quality and popularity in just a season’s time.

Because everything has to be thought of in terms of demographics these days: here’s an article pondering when a non-white male will get a network talk show. I suppose this rules out Chelsea Handler since she’s on E!, but she might be your reason why. I suppose it is a good question, I would love to see Dave Chapelle or Sarah Silverman get a shot at a job like this, but is anyone really dissatisfied with the late night options right now? Kimmel, O’Brien, Letterman have all been given a Grid Effect approval, and Fallon isn’t as bad (some even say he’s excelling) as many would have thought at late night. The only complaint I can get on board with is Carson Daly, but that is barely even a late night show anymore. It’s more an entertainment news show that does fluff pieces for celebrities, like every other entertainment news show.

September 14th has been marked as the date Leno will premiere in his new 10PM slot, just in time for the cold weather to set in and you don’t mind going to bed a little earlier (note: I haven’t fallen asleep voluntarily before 1am in roughly ten years, so I feel I’m going to be subjected to at least a little of this).

Jermaine Crawford (the doe-eyed kid who played Dukie on The Wire) is working with 50 Cent on something. On what? Does it fucking matter? If you aren’t overcome with joy anytime one of those sad bastards gets a break, then I don’t know what to tell you. And yes, I’m having a difficult time separating the character from the actor. Seeing Crawford standing next to someone as absurd as 50 Cent my jolt me back to reality.

Speaking of doughy-eyed, here’s an interview with Zack Gilford, who plays Matt Saracen on FNL with his alma-mater’s paper. I usually don’t link to things like this if I can help it, but there’s a couple amusing anecdotes that could surely brighten up your day.

And finally, DirectTV is paying the way for Friday Night Lights’ Emmy campaign. I think we’re sort of in Wire territory now with this show and how it relates to Emmy voters. Only its not nearly as good as The Wire, so its been given a few more nominations than the one The Wire got for “Middle Ground” (the penultimate episode of the third season). Though I appreciate the effort from DirectTV, it’s amazing what NFL money can afford. Thanks a lot for helping the NFL make it impossible for me to watch Eagles games.

Probably it for today. We’ll try to post some more links in addition to our preview for Friday night’s viewing. If you want our take on your options for tonight, go here.

One last links post to round out this dreadfully long week. We’re taking next Monday off in honor of our fallen guardians, and we’ll be back Tuesday with our Rescue Me recap, followed by three days of news posts. The week after that we will probably start doing nightly previews, as everyone will have trotted out their early summer lineups by then. Now that we have our two week itinerary out of the way, lets move onto some links, where we won’t mention American Idol even once (just like yesterday). Hey, if Nielsen’s are accurate and they suggest that thirty million of you watched the finale, that means 270 million of you didn’t. I’m just playing the numbers, people.

Finally, something I can appreciate to come out of the Scrubs debacle: Bill Lawrence tells everyone he’s ambivalent to outside commentary. Citing the continued employment of everyone on the series for at least another year, and that he doesn’t give a fuck about legacy. I wholeheartedly agree with both sentiments. As of now, a lot of your stagehands, PA’s, technical crew and even some of the actors/writers weren’t going to find any work if Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke decided to chase their big screen pipe dreams. Now that they’ve both decided to return, there’s no tangible reason to cancel the series. Any discussion over legacy is completely overblown. The Seinfeld finale didn’t go over very well with most, but is it not still regarded as probably the greatest sitcom in the history of television? Whatever you were for the majority of your run is ultimately how you’ll be remembered. If Scrubs was a great comedy, it will be remembered as such. I’m glad to see that Bill Lawrence recognizes that.

Given the dire state of the network, everyone has an opinion on how NBC can improve, what they should cancel, and in this case, what they got right. Considering how bad their ratings are, I can’t recall a single network ever being discussed more in the entertainment media. While I’m in the minority and enjoy a stellar amount of what NBC’s entertainment department has to offer (FNL, The Office, 30 Rock, Conan O’Brien), I only agree with one of these things (Jimmy Fallon to Late Night). From a business standpoint it’s hard to downplay the significance of their political satire (even if it was tremendously overrated), but if we’ve learned anything from television while doing this blog, it’s that if there is an easy joke to be made, Americans will laugh at it.

He's pretty apolitical, but it won't matter.

Hey, speaking of Conan O’Brien (Which we just did ever so briefly), here’s an insanely long profile piece from the NY Times. One of the more interesting points is that he’s trying to appeal to middle America, a place where I comfortably reside. While we like Conan and have never needed pandering too, to do so, I think he’s referring to people like my neighbors, who sport yard signs for every republican and conservative imaginable. These are genuinely nice, understanding people, but simply for the fact that he’s on NBC means they won’t watch him. And even if he was on, say, ABC, they’re not tuning in too watch the eccentric Harvard grad nervously putter about on stage, they’ll just think he’s a pervert.

I haven’t listened to an Eminem song in years (unless “Drug Ballad” came on in a bar I was patronizing at some point in time), but hearing that he considers The Wire the best series of all time definitely endears me too him. Even if he is saying it in the same manner that someone would claim CSI or Grey’s Anatomy the BEST SHOW EVER!, at least there is a mainstream entertainer recognizing the greatness of The Wire.

The internet’s relentless attempts to get us to never leave our house continues: Hulu will stream a live Dave Matthews Band concert. I actually like this idea and is kind of prescient in this day in age. From what I can tell, a bulk majority of Americans can’t afford to go to a concert, but just about all of them have internet access to watch a live concert on their computer. And while I can understand simply appreciating live performances and being able to watch them on a video feed, I can’t think of anything more depressing than watching a live concert taking place while you’re sitting alone in your room…But that’s just me. If this is a free service, which I’m sure it will be, it makes this not only significantly less costly but also much more accommodating. Like watching an NFL game at home instead of going to it live.

Good news for all masochists out there: Real World- Cancun will debut on June 24th. As always, the question heading into every Real World season is, how many non-heteros will be living in the house? And the answer for Cancun is: At least one.

And finally, Charlie Kaufmann, probably the most innovative screenwriter of this generation (if not in the history of cinema), is considering a leap to television, probably because the format of the medium is so superior to film. Here’s an assessment of what his influence on television would be,  it’s interesting but I don’t find it necessary to speculate hypothetically on what this would look like, because I don’t think anyone could regard Kaufmann as predictable. But I definitely want to see it happen, preferably for HBO, FX or AMC, just for the creative freedom and the lack of emphasis on ratings. God, for all the crap I watch writing this site, please let this happen.

That’s it for the week, enjoy the long weekend.

We spent all night watching television, but that isn’t as pathetic as it might seem since My Boys put us to sleep last night. Like, literally, put us too sleep. To give you an idea of how bad it was, we haven’t fallen asleep pre 11PM since before we were sixteen, when we couldn’t drive anywhere. It was truly an awful half hour of television and was probably the best example we can think of that this series was created by a woman whose never actually seen men talk to each other.

Rescue Me continued its run of strong episodes (though dipped a little bit from the week before) and they finally gave Sheila some substance for the first time in roughly…three seasons. It seems she exists in the series now for some reason other than agitating Tommy, which is all we ever asked for. But for the sake of consistency we’re going to wait six days for our recap of that. For the time being, here are some links.

If anyone ever had any doubt about HBO’s intentions with David Simon’s new series, it is now official: HBO has ordered nine episodes of Treme. No word on when it’s going to air but that doesn’t really matter. We now have a drama that provides incentive for us to have HBO that isn’t a sports documentary. ‘Tis a good day, indeed.

Since it sounds like the BBC has been getting a lot of positive feedback about airing The Wire, David Simon is preparing to teach a “masterclass” at the “Edinburgh TV Festival”. The quotations are mandatory because I can’t attest to either of these things existing, but assuming The Guardian isn’t lying to me: I want to go to there. Actually, maybe not. His overt cynicism about everything is interesting enough in small portions on youtube clips, if I were to see him in person, one look into his eyes and I might breakdown in tears.

Recognize him?

If you consider new casting decisions in between seasons to constitute spoilers, then I suppose in the loosest definition imaginable, this is a spoiler alert for the upcoming season of Mad Men: some actor I’ve never heard of has been cast to play Sterling Cooper’s CFO. Frankly, I’d consider discovering renovations to the SC offices before the season premiere aired to be more upsetting than this news.

Also, despite the past two seasons premiering in July, this upcoming season has already been pushed back until late August. Thanks for the press release, entertainment media. If you had never told me I wouldn’t have noticed. You’re not covering the war or economy, you know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Assholes.

Mindy Kaling has signed a deal with NBC to show-run and star in her own comedy. With her having so much executive control, it all but guarantees the series will be better than Parks and Recreation.

Spike TV has purchased the rights to all five seasons of Entourage for syndication. This is kind of a moment of clarity for me. It’s like someone threw a glass of water in my face while I was in a drunken stupor, and now I’ve come to realize that I have been recapping and occasionally enjoying a series that Spike TV deems worthy of spending $600,000 an episode on (that’s a bulk sum of $39,600,000, if anyone is counting). We’ve always been apprehensive and somewhat defensive about admitting we enjoyed Entourage, and now we know why: It caters to a Spike TV audience, who unless they were running a Godfather marathon and we were in a leg cast, I don’t ever recall watching or even bothering to see what the cable network was offering.

Because NBC is desperate like a virgin in a whorehouse but lacks all other options, they’ve decided to take Weekend Update — the fake news sketch that has been on Saturday Night Live for the past thirty-four years — and turn it into its own prime time show. They seem to think this is a good idea because the world is under the mistaken impression that it’s funnier now than it was in the days of Dennis Miller, Chevy Chase, Kevin Nealon or even Norm MacDonald. I don’t know why this is the assumption everyone has, but I think it has something to do with Tina Fey looking like Sarah Palin, and by the transitive property of NBC thinking every person/entity that mocks republicans is funny, this results in a prime time series for a storied comedy sketch that has been nose-diving in quality for the past eleven years. And just to clarify, I’m not being defensive in the least, I voted for Obama almost specifically because of Sarah Palin, but the motivation for everything seems kind of transparent at this point.

Speaking of Tina Fey, because speculation is always the preferable analytical tactic of entertainment op-ed writers when they have nothing else to discuss, here’s a short piece from the Boston Globe wondering if 30 Rock will hold up thirty years from now. I guess the plethora of pop-culture references has some people (or at least this guy) concerned that the series will become quickly dated. For starters, all comedy is dated. When you watch Seinfeld now, it’s as much as an atmospheric as it is a comedy about daily minutia, since roughly 65% of the jokes could be resolved with the existence of cell phones. Secondly, 30 Rock is fucking hysterical right now, and isn’t that what matters? The Quantum Leap reference actually made us pause the episode while we tried to compose ourselves. Honestly, I could give a shit if some fifteen year old in 2040 doesn’t understand it (or a fifteen year old now), because I don’t think it was made for him.

And finally, I feel like we’ve mentioned it before but I’m too lazy to go back and find the post where we did (and also because we completely forgot about it until reading this link), Family Guy is spinning off a series with Cleveland, and its been renewed for a second season before the series premiere. Even when we were watching Family Guy (which was pre-renewal), Cleveland was one of the characters we didn’t really…get. It seems like if you were to make a spin-off for any of these characters, it would be the baby or the dog, everyone else seemed to be for show, and didn’t really provide any laughs. Between this and the Weekend Update show, we’re about three ill-advised moves from quitting television altogether. Except for Mad Men, we could never quit Mad Men.

Back tomorrow with more links.

This will probably be our last links post of the week and we’ll try to get to both our Survivor and Office recaps either later tonight or tomorrow at some point. I don’t know if either will happen because we have billing tomorrow, it’s a bitch like that when it falls on a Friday.

I have never heard of this show until about two months ago and now I can’t escape discussion/rumors about it, but Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns memorial day weekend. Apparently this series is popular because Kate is an unruly bitch to Jon, which is entertaining to masochists and sadists the world over. Personally, if I wanted to watch some wretched woman completely emasculate her husband for no apparent reason, I’d hang out with my married/”seriously” dating friends.

Some writer for The Sun wants to know how a noted Baltimore restaurant is going to factor into the upcoming season of Mad Men, as I guess some of the producers were inquiring about it. Well, if you remembered the minute details of the show, you would know that in the “Golden Violin“, when Ken Cosgrove asked Sal to explain how he and his wife met, she responded in kind by informing him that they grew up in Baltimore together. So if I had to guess, this should be the setting for a Sal flashback. Don’t get me wrong, Don could end up on another sojourn that leads him to charm city since being that focused on Sal would be unusual for the series (not that Bryan Batt doesn’t deserve it), but it doesn’t seem like an exotic enough location after the trip out west.

We mentioned this on the fantasy football website, but it has crossover appeal: the HBO NFL mini-camp documentary is returning in 2009, with the Cincinnati Bengals. I understand many who read this site might not get the significance of that, but really it’s the closest HBO can get to Cops in the NFL. We imagine it will be pretty tame, but presumably the team isn’t filled with attention whores trying too hard for camera time like last year’s monstrosity with the Cowboys. Maybe it’s might intense disdain for the Star as an Eagles fan, but that was unbearable.

It really is surprising more people aren't watching this show.

Being interviewed about his series Chuck, Josh Schwartz claims the show isn’t expensive or cheap to produce. I hate to break to you, OC creator, but when assessing whether or not you’re going to be renewed it will beconsidered one or the other. Even with the paltry ratings, you’re kind of sitting pretty because, as mentioned before, everything on NBC gets paltry ratings. And they have to throw something on the air, so hey, why not the show with the cult fanbase? Actually, call the Chuck fan base a cult is kind of an insult to cults. I mean, I think thirty-eight people in Heaven’s gate killed themselves. Are we really that confident Chuck can amass that kind of Nielsen?

Speaking of which, both NBC series’ Chuck and the downward spiral known as Heroes registered lower ratings than average for their series finales. I guess this would be news if all of NBC’s series didn’t utterly fail in the Nielsen’s, but they do so it really doesn’t matter. It’s a shame we haven’t figured out a more sophisticated barometer to determine who watches what more than finding people desperate enough for money that they welcome some ratings box into their house that monitors what they have on at all times for very limited compensation. But we haven’t, and now everyone is under the impression that Two and A Half Men is a better comedy than 30 Rock because more people watch it. Which is full-proof logic, if you ask me.

In anticipation for tonight’s Survivor episode, it warrants mentioning that Tyler has gone on record as calling Sierra, “Whiny, dumb, weak and blindly ignorant“. Seems fair, I mean, he did get to know her under completely normal circumstances where nothing can skew your perception of someone. I totally understand ridiculing someone in public and holding a lifetime grudge because of a couple weeks spent in an isolated, exotic locale together.

If you’re like me and always willing to give Wire alums recent projects a chance, then you’d be happy to know that Clark Peters (Lester Freamon) is set to play Nelson Mandela in an upcoming special for TV viewers in England. Of course, if you’re like me then you don’t live in England, much less anywhere in Europe, so forget I said anything. Also, in the linked article they say Freamon is based on David Simon, which isn’t true, and that David Simon is a former police detective, which also isn’t true. So there is a good chance this Nelson Mandela special doesn’t really exist, either.

And finally, my alma mater, The Ohio State University, conducted a survey that discovered conservatives are more susceptible to believing that Stephen Colbert isn’t being satirical on his nightly talk show, The Colbert Report. This study is released just in time to continue the never-ending shitstorm of bad press releases for the republican party. It’s a good thing OSU went out of their way to do this too, here we were all wondering what different political parties thought of Stephen Colbert, and now we can finally get to sleep tonight. Of course, I’m sure the study was skewed to reach a set of desired results, but that doesn’t make this look any better.

That’s it for today, look for our Survivor recap tonight and our Office recap tomorrow afternoon.

So we’re off to yet another slow start today, and while I intended to write our Office recap over the weekend, our laptop seems to have internally combusted, so it wasn’t a possibility. Writing it this long after the episode aired just seems pointless, so we’ll go the full mile and post it on Thursday night before the new episode airs.

Also, we intended to write a review for Sit Down, Shut Up, the knew Mitch Hurwitz live animation series on FOX. But as it turned out the show was kind of not funny or interesting, so we’re going to hold off on reviewing it, because badmouthing the man who’s responsible for Arrested Development is in poor taste. We already have Michael Cera for that and there’s no reason to form a bandwagon. We’ll watch a couple more episodes to give it a fair chance (which we probably wouldn’t be doing if it wasn’t from Mitch Hurwitz), but much like with Parks and Recreation, we’re not feeling to confident about it.

So yeah, we’re neglecting our promises in favor of a few links, and I’m fine with that.

Here’s an article about David Simon pleading with newspaper editors to begin charging for online content as a method of staying afloat. If you haven’t noticed, newspapers are dying off at about the same rate as the American Auto Industry, yet no one gives a shit because they can still get their news online and there isn’t a single paper that employs even an iota of how many people say…GM does. But it really seems like a last hope that I’m not certain is much of one. When someone can pay for your service then copy and paste it to his/her website without any ramifications, it doesn’t seem very practical if you want people to visit the site. I mean, it stands to reason that if you begin charging for your service, you’re going to have fewer visitors, and fewer visitors makes your site less appealing for advertisers. I’m not going to pretend to understand how all of that works, but on the face of it, it does seem like you would lose just as much as you might earn by asking subscribers to pay. Also, to the man’s credit, a lot of this was brought up in the fifth season of The Wire, so he kind of saw all this coming.

While I seem to enjoy more series’ on NBC than just about everyone on the face of the planet (Friday Night Lights, The Office & 30 Rock account for two more series’ than I watch on all the broadcast networks combined), I have to admit that it does seem to be ran by business deficient people. I mean, I don’t know what else to think when they set a record breaking total in ad sales for the Super Bowl, score a record high Nielsen and still manage to lose $45 million on it. Jesus, it’s like other than to entertain me, the network exists for the sole purpose of supplying cannon fodder for Bill O’Reilly.

Hey, remember when we commented on our unhealthy obsession with Diane Farr and her random career decisions, well it seems fitting that we follow up on that and let you know that the girl from Rescue Me is being replaced for her role on Parenthood by Monica Potter, the blond from nothing I’ve ever seen before. That’s assuming the IMDB page on her is up to date. But she’s from Ohio, so that’s…something. Whatever, I don’t know what Parenthood
is, I don’t know who Monica Potter is and I couldn’t really care less what Diane Farr does with her career; so we’re bored and ending this paragraph.

Mad Men is releasing its second season DVD in July, do you want to see what the box is going to look like? If so, click here. If not because anticipating what a DVD cover is going to look like seems sad and depressing to you, then move onto the next paragraph. Personally, we couldn’t get to this link quick enough.

And finally, Chuck’s season finale is quickly approaching, and series creator Josh Schwartz assures us that it isn’t accommodating to a standard series finale, meaning that there will be little to no resolution at the end of the last episode. Much like with the fate of Parenthood, I can’t be bothered to care about this, but with such paltry ratings I’d be hard-pressed to think of any reasonable network springing for a third season. But this is NBC, so reason might be put on the back-burner. People seem to enjoy it, though, so I guess I’m rooting for you all to get your wish to see NBC’s share value continue to plummet.

Probably it for today, Rescue Me recap tomorrow morning.

We’re going to post a few links to close out the week, then hopefully get to our Office recap later this weekend. We’ve been overloaded for the past twenty hours or so, and want to watch it again before stating anything about how great it was and we speak out of turn.

I should be embarrassed by how long I could stare at this picture without getting bored, but I'm not.

Mary Louise-Parker, probably the sexiest woman over forty to ever grace the big or small screen,  is rumored to be considering leaving Weeds after the sixth season. Her departure, naturally, would spell the end of the series and that’s probably for the best, we weren’t the biggest fan of its sixth season. Though I don’t understand why that would mean kaput for Weeds. I mean, as sexy as she is Doug and Andy are by far the best thing about that show’s sojourn down to the border, and they didn’t even show their tits last season.

Jeff Probst feels that Ben Wade (self-titled “Coach) could carry his own television show. Um, doing what exactly? Pontificating on what a renaissance man he is in an abnormal manner and condescending manner? Why in the hell would anyone want to watch a television show where the primary attraction is Ben from Survivor: Tocantins? Someone, please, for the love of all that is holy, explain to me why anyone would bring this up as a possibility.

Looks like Mitchell Hurwitz’s animated follow-up to Arrested Development, Sit Down, Shut Up, which premieres on Sunday night in between The Simpsons and Family Guy, is going to be disappointing. Whatever it is, I’m willing to bet it score a higher Nielsen than AD, and that’s all that really matters. This is going to be disappointing for self-righteous, know-it-all hipsters the world over. Either way, we’re going to watch and write a partial review for it despite the negative reviews and the fact that we haven’t liked a FOX Sunday night series since before Family Guy was canceled.

Here’s an ad from a British television network for The Wire. Have you ever tride to make an off the cuff reference to The Wire amidst a group of strangers and have any of them know what you were talking about? Yeah, me neither. I look forward to a day when Obama makes the HBO series mandatory viewing for anyone over the age of sixteen. If, upon watching it you decide it isn’t for you, an immediate lobotomy is performed because you don’t deserve a fully-functioning brain. This is the world I dream of.

Speaking of The Wire, we leave you with this delightful link: this website somehow got ahold of several (3) Wire scripts and David Simon’s original pitch to HBO for the series in 2000 (it debuted in 2002). Oooh, allow the retrospective hyperbolic speculation and analysis begin! I don’t know who the person writing the linked website had to blow/backstab to post all of this info, but just know that your efforts have not gone unappreciated, my friend.

Office recap probably this weekend, the aforementioned Sit Down, Shut Up review on Monday and hopefully something not so formulaic later in the week.

Alright, we had to take an extra day off this week due to fatigue stemming from excessive alcohol consumption and a general lack of sleep. I hope you understand, but we have found time to watch Friday Night Lights (incredible penultimate episode for what they thought could have been the series) and Survivor, and this season has had an excessive amount of scheming (especially last week). We appreciate it, but it’s kind of like parity in the NFL. If every game is highly contested then climactic finishes start to lose their meaning.

But we’ll get to those recaps later this week, for now we’ll settle on some links to sort of ease back into the swing of things.

If you’re wondering what, maybe, an eighth of The Wire cast is up to these days, this semi-article will tell you. I think it is probably somewhat unjust, but I guess it makes sense that the guy who probably had the least dialogue relative to screen time, Corey Parker Robinson who played Sydnor, has the least active career since the series finale. Still, I’m surprised have the actors from the series are doing as well as they are, since it seems that virtually no one in LA watched the show.

Don’t know if anyone happened to see Stephen Colbert’s interview with the co-founder of Twitter, Biz Stone, but to me it was almost more of an evisceration than what Stewart did to Jim Cramer. At least Cramer knew what he was getting himself into, Biz Stone walked into Colbert’s studio and was blindsided with cutting remarks about the idiocy of what he’s done with his life.

Oh yeah, the ER finale was last Thursday. If you were wondering, that’s why there wasn’t a new Office or 30 Rock. We don’t have anything intelligent to say about it since the only time we watched the series was to appease someone we were trying to sleep with, and that opportunity/begrudging compromise wasn’t exactly omnipresent in my formative years, nor was it available when I was in New York on Thursday night. So, yeah, it sounds like it was a relatively satisfying ending for devotees who’ve seen every single episode, which I just can’t even fathom doing. And according to the ratings, I’m not alone in that sentiment.

A scourge on humanity.

If you’ve been watching the NCAA Tournament, then you have undoubtedly seen the promotional ads for CBS’ new series, Harper’s Island. And because no series is fully advertised unless it has some sort of interactive/online/saturation campaign, you can get some sort of IPhone application for the series. A couple things about this, 1) The general premise is a dozen or so people are on this remote island and one of them is murdering guests one at a time. My question is, once it gets down to two people, isn’t it going to be pretty fucking obvious who the killer is?

And 2) This is a bit off-topic but I fucking hate the IPhone. I admire the innovation of it, but have you ever traveled with somebody that has one? It’s like being with someone who has an insubordinate toddler. They move at half the rate they would if they didn’t have the IPhone and are constantly sidetracked by it. Everything takes twice as long to accomplish, which is ironic when you consider that the entire concept behind the IPhone is one of convenience (You can do everything on it!). So yeah, fuck you, marketing team for Harper’s Island, for attempting to prolong my next trudge through an airport.

Bob Saget, for some inexplicable reason is still working, and has a new series set to debut on ABC entitled Surviving Suburbia. They’re going to be promoting the series on Dancing With The Stars, which guarantees that it will score higher ratings than Parks and Recreation. And to be honest, we might actually tune into the pilot. Based on the title, I’m assuming it will be a tad more cynical than Full House, and bizarre cynicism is what Bob Saget does best.

30 Rock has actually seen an increase in ratings this season, which only seems natural because it’s their dullest season to date (though still exceptional). In other words, if you were worried about the show’s pending cancellation, you need not worry no more.

And finally, our last inexplicable news item for the day: Friday Night Lights‘ third season DVD will not contain the extended scenes from the DirectTV airings that we plebeians missed out on while watching it on NBC. I suppose if it’s between the music we heard on NBC or the deleted scenes, I would go with the  former, but it seems like there has to be some way to squeeze both in.

Some more links tomorrow, in all likelihood. And potentially a Rescue Me recap for their fifth season premiere.

There isn’t much happening in the world of television, or at least not much that we feel is necessary to include into a links post. So we’re going to keep this rather succinct, because no one likes reading a 500+ word blog post. That, and it takes longer to write. And effort is in direct contrast with everything we hold dear.

Not that we needed the extra incentive, but...she doesn't hurt.

My Boys returned last night and we will shamefully admit that we watched it in full. It was about as slightly better than mediocre, which is about where we expect it to be. Between the mustache growing contest and Gaffigan’s side commentary, we don’t really regret investing the time to watch. Since it’s not really a series because each season is never more than ten episodes and has a year in between each stretch, we find that it’s relatively easy TV that requires nothing on the part of its audience, but still has a few solid jokes while it’s at it. With television comedy being what it is right now, that’s enough to keep our attention for a half hour.

Looks like FOX, of all networks, will be giving Wanda Sykes her own Bill Maher-esque political comedy talk show. We couldn’t be more thrilled, she was on that one thing that one time, has a recurring character as herself on Curb Your Enthusiasm, was in those Public Service Announcements about using the word “gay” as a negative adjective, and was also in that other thing once. In addition to her stand-ups, it’s been a storied career. It’s good to see that she’ finally getting some attention, because she seems like one of the funnier women in Hollywood.

If you needed a reason to do something drastic in your life, I can’t think of better motivation than hearing that The Real World has been extended for four more seasons in addition to their current contract which I believe has five more years on it. That will bring TRW to a grand total of twenty-six seasons provided no one dies during filming. Great, MTV, now you have half of America wishing death on some probably amiable stranger. Bang up job, guys. Maybe for your next act you can announce an extension to My Super Sweet 16.

An interview with Jason Katims in which he reveals that some of the current cast will be back for the fourth season. Wait, you mean Tyra won’t be around to lament her imperfect decisions from when she was fourteen for another season? Ah, man. I really wanted to see her, Riggins and Lyla hang around for a third senior year.

Don’t know if I’ve even bothered to mention it, but they remade the nineties sitcom Cupid without the original cast. And surprise, it isn’t as effective as the critically-acclaimed but short lived CBS series with Jeremy Piven and Paula Marshall. Who would’ve thought, you take the best thing away from a TV show but still go through with the remake, and for some reason it doesn’t live up to its predecessor.

And finally, The Wire aired on one of the BBC networks in the UK on Monday, and according to this article it drew in about 600,000 viewers. The articles doesn’t really say if that’s a lot or a little and I really have no idea why this matters. Hasn’t the show already aired in its entirety in the UK? Is it because they’re on a more mainstream network now? Either way, since it’s rating is described as “respectable” it sounds like it’s doing better on the second go around over there than it ever did here.

South Park recap tomorrow and maybe some links to close out the short week.

Man, there are a shit ton of links to get to this morning, but let me start off with a couple notes about our schedule. As we mentioned, we’re traveling to New York on Thursday, which basically means no Friday post and Survivor will get pushed back to the following Monday. But beyond that, we fully intend to start watching the new HBO series Ladies No. 1 Detective Agency in spite of horrendous name. We’re on the fence as to whether we’ll end up recapping it, but we fully intend to give a review of the pilot about two weeks after it originally aired, as is the Grid Effect way for all new series’ that aren’t Mad Men, because I just knew that shit would be worth the effort. I read into promotional campaigns a lot like that.

Onto the links…

Continuing the three day trend of Everything Friday Night Lights here, there is yet another announcement of Direct TV ordering two more seasons. Hooray! For the fifteenth time! This does seem like a finalized deal, however. And it just goes to show, if you can make high quality but under-appreciated television, Direct TV might be willing to cross promote the series with a broadcast network and split the production costs to keep the series alive so no one is losing too much money.

Here’s a New York Times profile piece of Wendell Pierce, detailing his career and his new role on Treme, David Simon’s new series that we’re going to mention with every opportunity we get. Not just on this site, but in everyday conversation. “Did you enjoy that french toast, state school elitist?” “Treme is David Simon’s new series, it’s set to premiere this Fall.” Basically my life has turned into an endless stream of non-sequiturs.

Looks like the creators of the original Office have reason to believe that yet another spin-off could gain traction in Israel, because they’re getting their own version in the Holy Land. That makes six in total: Chile, US, France, Canada, Russia & now Israel. That’s seven countries that some variation of this series has aired. I wonder if Ricky Gervais had this in mind when he wrapped up those six months of shooting fifteen episodes of television.

In his never-ending quest to relate to the younger demographic, Jimmy Fallon, along with attempting to reunite the Saved By The Bell cast, has a new feature on his show in which he visits a random bar unannounced and buys a round for everyone. This follows up nicely to his beer-pong efforts with female tennis players (even when one of them sticks to root beer). Personally, and maybe because I’m a member of this younger demo, but I like the injection of alcohol imbibing on late night television. I hear people use to come onto Carson all loaded and everything, so in a way it’s retro and contemporary, because I’m willing to bet that Johnny Carson went to his grave never knowing what beer-pong was.

The transition has to be rough.

Wire alums are really making headlines today, as Dominic West has gone out of his way to chastize British television for their lack of high end drama. To be honest, I’m surprised more people from The Wire are not on record as saying something like this. I mean, can you imagine going from working on The Wire to Heroes or Criminal Minds? It would be like going from dating a Supermodel to Bridget Jones. None the less, I don’t know what Dominic West expects. British television hardly has time for drama when there’s men dressed up as women to be watched.

My Boys is premiering I think their third season tonight, and we’ll probably end up watching it because it’s mindless, and that’s kind of what we’re in the market for today. Plus, it has Jim Gaffigan, probably one of the more underrated comedians around. You know how you know when you’re either underrated or just terrible? When the best comedy work you can find is on TBS.

And finally, someone is voicing a request to improve 30 Rock that we can get on board with: Stop bringing in guest celebrities. I understand why they do it: an attempt to improve low ratings, but it kind of drowns out a lot of the comedy for semi-forced scenes with recognizable faces. Not that everything with all of them is bad, but more often than not it seems like more of a distraction at the expense of loyal viewers for the benefit of Deal or No Deal fans.

Probably it for today, back later with some more news items.

Given the ridiculous degree of monumental television events last night, we would be remisced if we didn’t spend a little time talking about, or at least mention the second most noteworthy moment of the spectacle that was Thursday night’s offerings. I’m speaking, of course, of George Clooney’s reappearance on ER last night.

There, I’m glad that’s out of the way. Let’s get to some links so I can go see Watchmen a week later than I had planned.

Here’s a complete and utter dissection of Lost that states much more concisely than I ever could why I can’t stand watching it. And no, it’s not just because it’s on ABC. Basically, it’s a series of random events with very loose connections to one another that are thrown together at random so as to fill episodes. If you gave me ten random short stories by different authors, then asked me to turn them into a novel it would look pretty much like Lost. I can’t defend my position beyond the few episodes I’ve seen, but when I ask people who consider Lost appointment television, they can’t really seem to either. Am I wrong in thinking this? Or are my friends categorically retarded? I tend to think the latter, but I think that because they watch Lost, so it’s a chicken or the egg type of thing.

OK, a little more about Clooney’s ER return from this woman, whose a little too involved in last night’s proceedings for me to take seriously. Her depiction is a little too intricate for me, I’m just going to go ahead and assume she spends her days pondering what television characters do in their free time. I hope she has a good weekend and spends some time with family and friends.

The one benefit of television being state ran: They can air shit like The Wire five nights a week and not have to worry about profit margin and overhead and some other business lingo I picked up while watching Mad Men, much like the BBC is doing in London. At the same time, however, nothing as good as The Wire has ever come out of television in Europe. So there’s that.

The Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer mess from last night is all the buzz on the internets, and everyones opinion on it is fairly predictable based on their political leanings. But Stewart decimated the abrasive financial analyst while he basically sat there and took it with a lot of screeching and nervous chatter. The wrath might be misguided but Cramer is by no means an innocent bystander, though he could have defended himself infinitely better. His ammo was light, though, because what was he supposed to say? I’m a much better financial analyst than you are a comedian, suck it Stewart! It just wasn’t in his or CNBC’s best interest for him to be out there. Whatever, I’m still catatonic from the awkwardness of it so I guess it was a success.

I stand by my decision.

Yet another one for the “shit that isn’t broken yet someone will always claim it needs fixed” file, this person has compiled a list of 30 suggestions to fix 30 Rock. First off, the show was hilarious last night, probably one of the three better episodes I’ve seen and it gave me a nice away message for tomorrow (”Passing out. Cursing. On Saint Patrick’s Day?…Is nothing sacred”). Also, I know she went with 30 because the number is in the title, but the bottom line is if you can find 30 things wrong with a series that you think could be improved, then you were probably never a big fan of the series in the first place. Take me and my aforementioned disdain for Lost, for example. I could probably name roughly mid-four figures of things I would change about that show. In fact, I can only name one thing I wouldn’t change: Evangeline Lilly. And my rationale for that isn’t very substantive.

Point being, if you can find 30 things you don’t like about anything, it might be best to just admit that whatever it is, it isn’t for you, and move the fuck on. This is like me saying I would change the name of Lost to Found, put it in the heart of China and not have the characters attacked by a smoke cloud. Then it would be right up my alley!

Alright, we’re calling it a week, Friday Night Lights tonight and a bevy of notable series’ on Sunday including but not limited to Selection Sunday (if you don’t know what this means: Get Out), Breaking Bad, Flight of The Conchords and Mad Men second season reruns.

Have a great weekend.

Just a couple reminders before we get to some links:

1) South Park makes its triumphant return to television tonight (this season premiere’s target: The Jonas Brothers), just in time for us to be extraordinarily busy at the end of the week. Over the next couple days we should have a recap for this, last week’s Friday Night Lights episodes, Survivor and The Office. When we lose our job due to a crippling economy, it’s good to know our free time will still be limited.

2) We have been sick all week, so if our posts have been atypically short then we apologize, but its not our fault so much as it is the traditionally fluctuating weather patterns of sunny Columbus, OH and the sinus infections it carries.

Anyhow, now that you know entirely too much about how my week is going, lets get to some at least fourteen hour old news items.

There's a good chance you don't know who Jim Cramer is, so here you go.

Jim Cramer and Jon Stewart are escalating their three day long slap fight to an actual face-to-face confrontation on The Daily Show tomorrow night. I like watching The Daily Show and all, and the only thing I know about Jim Cramer is the 60 Minutes piece I saw on him awhile back that portrayed him as a financial savant that was more than a tad hyperbolic; but is anyone else just bored to tears by this? I’m sure it will be monumental when Cramer rings a bell and an anvil drops on his head. Hopefully Stewart can get to his emergency button that will drop Cramer and the chair he is sitting in into the fiery pits of hell before the erratic financial “expert” gets the better of him.

Some great news for fans over overly-sentimental television: Friday Night Lights might be looking at a two season extension with its unique economic model that puts the burden of production costs on both NBC and DirectTV. This, especially in this economy, would be a welcomed surprise. I have no idea how either company can financially justify such an extension and, just maybe, perhaps I don’t care. I just want to see how they transition from a third to a fourth season.

Jesus Christ, its not like David Simon has to do anything to get me to watch his series’. After you create something like The Wire, I’m pretty much on the hook for eternity. Well, not only did his new series Treme, about musicians in New Orleans cast Clark Peters (Freamon, who was also on Damages last night) and Wendell Pierce (The Bunk), but now the show has landed Melissa Leo, star of the underrated indie hit Frozen River (and if you may recall was my choice to win best actress). Just based on the casting acumen alone I can all but guarantee that Treme will be worth everyones time.

Jay Leno is scheduled to do a free show in Detroit at the home of the Pistons next month. As much as his style of comedy is attune to our tastes, I never hear a bad thing about him and he seems to be constantly doing charitable shit like this. God damn it Jay, you make it so hard for me to root against you when you move to 10PM.

And finally, just so you know that her stint on Survivor wasn’t an act: Sandy, the most recent bootee from this season, wants to pose for Playboy. This might be a big enough publicity stunt to bring the magazine back to prominence. Let’s see the miracles that airbrush can work, boys. It’s not necessarily something I would ever buy, but don’t worry, I’ve never bought an issue of Survivor in my life so at least you won’t be losing a customer.

Hopefully we can get to the FNL recap after work.

Welcome back, hope everyone’s weekend was as slow, uneventful and socially isolating as mine was. We’re kind of busy this morning so let’s get the ball rolling with some links.

It seems that Jordana Spiro, the epitome of the girl-next-door type and star of TBS’ semi-hit My Boys, is disappointed the show never gets a broadcast network sized season. Referring to the nine episodes they are doing as “whopping”. Here’s a question, does anyone ever use the word “whopping” and not do so in a sarcastic context? It just doesn’t seem to invoke much seriousness and it seems to be treated as such. But it’s a part of the English language with a literal meaning, yet you never hear anyone say, “the bartender poured me a whopping three ounces of Jamie”. I blame Burger King for this universal cheapening of a word.

Here’s some good news, the cast of Seinfeld will be involved in a multiple episode arc for the upcoming season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, which will debut on September 7th. The only person to not make an appearance on the series is Michael Richards, and if the writers are worth their salt they’ll have him and Wanda butting heads over his Laugh Factory incident. So yeah, I expect that to factor in at some point. Also, since it’s a multiple episode storyline, it won’t be like in the fourth season, when they said Jerry Seinfeld would be making a cameo, and it ended up being a five second shot of him applauding at a Broadway show.

Don’t know if any of you have been following The Daily Show lately, but Jon Stewart has been hammering away at CNBC for their failure to recognize the current economic meltdown. He doubled-down for a Letterman appearance on Thursday night, taking the network to task again for what he perceives as their professional shortcomings. Then I caught Erin Burnett doing everything she could to defend her employer on Bill Maher’s show on Saturday afternoon (it originally airs Friday night). I guess CNBC should be ecstatic that someone outside of Wall St. actually seems to be giving a shit about them now. But given that their audience is so narrow, one has to wonder that even if someone over their had warned everyone of financial Armageddon, would it have really mattered? Not that this is an applicable defense for CNBC to use from the comedian’s brigade of political commentators, but it does make one wonder what CNBC’s actual role is other than entertainment and to make Wall St. feel better about itself.

Here’s confirmation that Amy Ryan will be back for The Office finale this season, so it appears Michael will get his closure. Oh, semi-spoiler alert. Also, this might give us the chance to see Amy Ryan on  screen with Idris Elba for the first time ever, and make way for several Wire references which you know the writers won’t be able to refrain from.

And finally, because there are so few movies worth your money that come out this time of year, we’re going to be inundated with constant updates on what’s happening with the Arrested Development movie. Today’s update: It’s difficult finding the time to shoot because everyone has their own careers (they do?). In other words, it sounds like every other movie that’s ever been shot but with a larger core cast of characters. Anyway, pretend to act hysterical if it better suits you. ZOMG the movie’s in jeopardy!

Back with Flight of The Conchords recap later today.

So we finally got around to Jimmy Fallon’s Tuesday effort (though we didn’t watch Wednesday’s), and there was a noticeable improvement. At least during the interviews, we couldn’t stand to watch the monologue as it’s still a nervous, cliche mess. But the interviews with Tina Fey (whom he’s almost too comfortable with, as Miss Fey’s husband is probably suspicious as hell) and Bon Jovi were laid back and effortless.

Basically they went how every talk show interview I’ve ever seen that didn’t make the evening news. So it wasn’t anything phenomenal, but just an hour of television that didn’t make you want to hide under your bed. I think this is what happens when you interview somebody other than Robert DeNiro.

Here are a few links to kick off the morning.

We occasionally mock David Caruso and the entire CSI franchise, but rarely have we ever taken it to this level. It’s accurate, but just as unmerciful. We recommend the clip of one-liners directly below the flow chart. It starts to wear off about two minutes in, but stick with it and it will be funny again about four minutes in. Quit acting like your time is so fucking valuable, man.

Wheel of Fortune celebrated its 5,000th show on Friday. I don’t mean to be flippant but is anyone else surprised that the number is that low? I mean, one show for every weeknight for what seems as long as I’ve been alive. Or rather, as long as I can remember being alive. I’m 27, that means it dates back at least 23 years. Frankly, I don’t know what they’re celebrating.

Jerry Seinfeld has a reality series he’s producing for NBC, and claims he will never be in front of the camera. I can understand that. When you’re regarded as one of the world’s best comedians yet haven’t said or done anything all that funny for over a decade, why would you want to break that streak and expose yourself as yet another stooge in the entertainment business that’s reliant on Larry David.

God damnit, I know we’re not immune but the penchant everyone has of late to deride The Office as some run-of-the-mill superfluous sitcom is starting to agitate. In this article, the guy laments that the series is relying too heavily on traditional sitcom quandaries to fill its episodes. Maybe this is true — especially in the case of Jim and Pam — but for the most part, at this point in a series’ run it’s not about the situational humor so much as it is about the characters reactions to it, because their so uniquely established to everything else on television (I am speaking mainly of Dwight, Michael and several of the supporting cast here). The series has been as strong this season as the four that preceded it, and I won’t listen to any arguments otherwise.

Apparently it was rumored that Evangeline Lilly was rumored to be contemplating to leave Lost (sounds substantial to me!). But she has since squashed those rumors and confirms her good standing with the hit

Yeah, this was worth it.

series. Am I linking to this story just to post an accompanying picture of the abnormal yet almost inhumanly attractive starlet? You bet I am. With any luck, the time traveling island will teleport far back in time enough to when television didn’t exist, and I won’t be subjected to any news about it. As long as they leave Miss Lilly behind, I think we’ll be all the better for it.

The guy who played the hapless, average schmoe and homicide detective on The Wire, Holley, won Howard Stern’s Black Superfan Trivia on the radio. I have no idea what that is, but it sounds pretty degrading even by Howard Stern standards. There is no glory in being a bit player on the greatest series in the history of television, it would seem.

And finally, if you don’t own the DVD’s, have access to Southparkstudios.com or are have basic cable, you can now watch South Park on Netflix, under the assumption that you subscribe to Netflix. Which is a good thing, people with the money and time to randomly watch reruns of the best animated series on television, seldom have access to cable or the internet.

Back with an FNL recap later today. Also, new episodes of Survivor and The Office is back after a two week hiatus tonight, so we’ll be plenty busy for the remainder of the week .

Alright, time of our bi-weekly post-sundown links post that takes place a day later than advertised. I’m starting to get used to this and it doesn’t feel like a waste of time at all. I say that in jest of course. Everything I do for this site feels like a waste of time. It’s a good thing I have no social life, otherwise I’d really feel like I was missing out on something. Also, a quick programming note before we get to the links, I am going to get to a recap of last week’s FNL episode, but only when I’m good and ready. That should be this afternoon but who knows, it might not be until early Friday evening. Just keep your eyes peeled over the next thirty-six hours, alright?

Onto the links.

Some girl on The Hills (also known as the dreck that there’s a 95% chance any teenage girl in your family watches) is promising the rest of us that her “series” will mercifully end with its fifth season. I’d be thankful, but then I remember what she and (to a greater extent) MTV are responsible for, and then I hope the pacific rises and swallows her alive before slinking back to shore. Besides, she’s saying this assuming she’ll have job opportunities that a could make a career, but she’s too insulated in her tiny little world that she doesn’t quite realize that no one likes her.

The bright colors are to distract you from the vapidness.

Being the desperate shill that NBC has become, they’re rumored to be considering (sounds factual to me!) renewing I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! This seems appropriate, NBC is looking to revive what’s regarded as the smuttiest reality series to ever grace the broadcast networks, that revolves around entitled celebrities living off their own self-importance just at the precipice of what virtually every economist regards as the biggest economic since the late 20’s.

A profile of Lance Reddick, who played Cedric Daniels on The Wire. It basically just summarizes how his career has developed since The Wire and to be perfectly honest, he is one of the actors from the series I thought would be less championed than he ought to be, so it’s nice to see a deserving actor get some recognition. Still, it’s amazing his higher profile hasn’t brought any more commercial acclaim to the retired series. Especially when he describes his experience as, “nothing will ever top The Wire“.

Speaking of The Wire, if you miss the series and need a fix, here’s Charlie Brooker (some Brit, dismissive? Yes, but I have no idea what else to say about him) going to great lengths to popularize the series in his home country (parts two and three here). And here’s David Simon talking for over an hour with miscellaneous USC students. Basically, if you go to youtube every other month there will be a whole new crop of analytical shit like this.

And finally, Michael Cera has made a formal announcement that he’s on board with the movie adaptation for Arrested Development, which was inevitable. The same people that see his current movies are quite regularly the same people who like Arrested Development even more than anything he has done since. For him to be the lone reason that there wasn’t an AD

So when's he playing a serial killer?

movie, or even if they made one and he was absent from it, he would have something of a PR nightmare on his hands. It may or may not be a good idea to turn this series into a movie (and if we’re being honest I’m not sure how great of a format it is for the big screen), but the series was cut short for business reasons and taking a risk on a movie, even if it doesn’t pan out, will not tarnish what they’ve already accomplished. Trust me on this, no one remembers Jordan’s years with the Wizards (other than Washington fans), and no one will remember this movie if it turns out to be terrible.

FNL recap later today.