Grid Effect

It looks like we were wrong about the introduction of a new Botwin child. Not in the broader sense that a newborn has a tendency to ruin a television show, but because of the overwhelming narcissism of all these characters possess, I should have realized that everyone would only worry about how little Stevie Ray effects them, and not really give a shit about his well-being. Some might say Andy was the exception, but he’s only on board with Nancy’s plan because he wants to better position himself to fuck some stuck-up gynecologist. Ooh, you’ve been to Zimbabwe, well allow me to kiss the ring, your highness.

That isn’t to say Andy’s been the bastion of responsibility to any person, male or female, to become romantically involved with. But the dismissal by her and Andy’s reaction to it, were equally shortsighted and crass. Obviously rearing someone else’s child isn’t what Alanis had in mind (is this Big Daddy? Because it feels an awful lot like Big Daddy), Him stepping in too play Mr. Mom isn’t going to endear him to her, not to mention it’s quite a hazardous direction to take with one’s life, but naturally Nancy doesn’t mind.

Of the few comments over on TWoP’s message board*, the consensus seems to be that Nancy is “gutsy” for her protestations with Esteban. And on some level that’s true, but at the same time her life isn’t nearly in as much jeopardy as Andy’s, whose name she volunteered as the father without his consent, and only through some misguided notion of accrued “responsibility” is Andy going along with it. In other words, guess who catches a break once again!

*I love going TWoP, especially immediately after watching what I feel was a particularly great episode of television (like last night’s installment of Weeds, for example). But for whatever reason this is the only show in which I tend to disagree with the majority. Still haven’t been able to figure out why, probably because everyone is so happy to give Nancy a pass on just about everything.

Anyways, while Nancy takes everyone’s life around her into her own hands but will remain unharmed in any tangible way because she’s the unnecessary star of a meandering TV series, Silas and Doug’s attempts to get their marijuana back has hit a rough patch without them even realizing it. Regardless, the fallout from Doug letting Dean slam his cock in a desk drawer is going to be cataclysmic when he discovers that Dean gave a good share (if not all) of his drugs to Celia, who Dean amazingly still has a soft spot for. And when I say “soft spot”, it’s quite obvious he’s either a masochist, pussy, or both. Either way, it’s good to see the writer’s are still somewhat concerned with the pretense that someone should be distributing marijuana on this show.

Other notes from “A Distinctive Horn”:

-I tend to be distracted by the absurdly liberal slant that this series takes on every single issue/conversation, especially because it always seems so oddly random, and plugged into the show just so Jenji Kohan can spout her ideology. But the scene with Andy and the abortion protester was hilarious.

-Also taking place on TWoP’s message board for this show: everyone’s thrilled to death that Lupita is back, some even claiming she “saved” last night’s episode. I don’t mind the character or anything, but what exactly did she say or do that was so gratifying? Lupita’s putting on a wet suit and she’s old. Haha, classic.

-I’d generally regard someone being offended by the ownership of the General Lee as a dealbreaker. Not that I defend the Stars and Bars or ever really watched The Dukes of Hazard, but that car is just fucking bad ass.

-Doug’s candor and willingness to do just about anything to maintain whatever the status quo is at the time continues to be the funniest thing about the series. I don’t think we ever met his wife, but I think that would just ruin the character if we did.

Anyways, the gang’s all back! Or at least all the white one’s and Lupita! At least the gradually put them back into the series instead of rushing everyone out of Agrestic within a couple episodes (I’m looking at you, Nip Tuck). At least it Nancy might have someone to turn too when she’s eventually pressed to be something other than a huge pain in the ass for everyone around her. Maybe that woman “taking care” of Esteban public relations –who the writer’s are being annoyingly ambiguous about her relationship too — is an abomination of the highest order, but at least she isn’t a co-dependent recluse without any sense of responsibility. It’s clear that at least the so-called “Mexicunt” oversees and tries to protect what’s important to her. You can’t really say the same about Nancy these days.

Rescue Me recap later.

I wasn’t all that impressed with “Where The Sidewalk Ends” but it seemed like it was five minutes long. Usually when an episode of television seems shortly than it actually is that implies it was entertaining. That could be the case, or I could have just been ecstatic to be away from my office for an hour. Since it felt kind of hollow I’m going to go ahead and pin the seemingly abnormally short length on the latter.

The episode consisted of three parts, essentially: Esteban explaining to Nancy the new circumstances of their arrangement, Nancy convincing Andy to leave and driving to Alanis Morrisette’s office, and Andy convincing Alanis Morrisette to operate on Nancy, despite how impractical it maybe. There was a lot of substance in these three parts, particularly the transfer in the General Lee, but nothing we didn’t already know about the characters.

we need more scenes like this.

We rehashed that Andy is in love with Nancy, she thinks he’s a poor imitation of Judah, and the only way in which he bests his older brother is in still being alive. There isn’t much else to say about the two of them. Other than I hope Justin Kirk eventually leaves, gets his own spinoff and somehow drags Doug Wilson with him. Because Nancy is growing increasingly difficult to sympathize with. Though I loved her retort when Andy wanted reassurance that she might offer a hand-job.

Speaking of which, the Botwin sons are regressing just in time for them to need their mother to bail them out. Shane has no idea what he’s getting himself into asking Celia to bring him in and Silas isn’t nearly as smart as he considers himself to be, being stung by the same employee Doug wanted to fire (for selfish reasons, naturally, not as any sort of precautionary measure). Naturally, we can’t expect anyone on this show to be able to fend for themselves other than Nancy and whoever her dark knight in shining armor happens to be.

In all, we’re interested to see where the baby ends up taking the storyline, but we’re not interested in everyone sharing screen time with him. Babies are, by and large, awful for television shows. They tend to be nothing more than a contrived plot device to keep a show going that should have ended long before he/she was popped out of the womb. This isn’t always the case, naturally. Its worked well for Friday Night Lights (though the second season when the baby was introduced was unquestionably their worst). But that is a series that offers much more of an ensemble than Weeds. My guess is that baby is going to be the centerpiece for just about every topic of conversation next Monday.

Needless to say, we’re not looking forward to that aspect of it.

Links tomorrow.

Thank God that seems to be over, at least for now. We were in desperate need of some temporary relief from any Nancy-Esteban scene, and from the jump it looked like we were in for another plodding episode with “intimate” conversations about nothing between these two, who the writer’s seem obsessed with. I’m pretty sure this is the longest any man (outside of family and Doug) has managed to stay in Nancy’s life, and he is by far and away the dullest.

I know he’s supposed to be worldly and cultured what with the fencing and soccer teams and art. But he also happens to double as a crime-lord, some might call this “multi-layered” or “original”, and in certain instances it may be. But this show pays so little attention to detail when it comes to characters that it just seems confusing. We see him screaming at people menacingly and forcing Nancy’s legs open in an OB/GYN office, then he’s in a fencing suit with and talking to Andy with an air of superiority.

So we started off really hating this episode, but it threw in some good comedy moments (everything with Doug, General Lee) and combined them with a little turbulence between Esteban, Guillermo and Nancy and the episode turned into another strong effort.

We need a relic from the past to make this show complete.

I think our want to see adversity for Nancy that lasts more than two episodes is what’s pushing us away from anything involving Esteban. He seems too protected, and we don’t want her having any real leverage over anyone in this world. Can someone refresh my memory, is there a reason she seems to hate Guillermo more so than U-Turn or any of the other drug dealers she’s dealt with? Wasn’t he always generally decent to her, if horrible to everyone else? I’m so confused.

I’m guessing they’re going to do a cocaine cowboys storyline, and that woman who stormed in was actually the kingpin for the entire operation while Esteban is just a figurehead. I can’t think of another reason for such an abrupt change in plot and this show loves breaking gender norms so I’m just going to assume that is what’s taking place.

We also think part of what will move this series along is Shane’s encounter with the golf club wielding lunatic he was so enamored of in the first place. In short, none of them belong where they are. And certainly there is nothing more Andy wants than to move away from his current surroundings. Maybe Silas, but not with Doug alongside him. Silas would have a better shot of going polygamist with the old woman in the cheese shop.

Speaking of which, that story finally gained some steam. I don’t really like anything about that security guard they’re paying off, but at least they reacted differently to him. Even if it took Doug bronzing himself and cursing him out in a George Hamilton impression, at least there’s some movement in the storyline other than, “we need something from someone that doesn’t want to give it to us…we get what we need through a series of events.”

Anyhow, at least the writers had the courtesy to give us a “six months later” tag at the beginning of the episode to justify Silas having his shop fully operational and Andy with a full beard and a new set of toys. and it was necessary. Putting forth all that like it was the next day probably would have been enough for us to steer clear of the series, which has always (and still does have) had continuity issues, but that would have been too glaring to overlook. As it is now, we’re still on good standing with Weeds.

But it’s no Breaking Bad.

Very succinct Rescue Me recap later.

I had to look up the episode title but it certainly makes sense, I think Andy probably said “Van Nuys” at least a half dozen times and it was always in a run-on sentence. At least that’s how I remember it. Anyways, in last night’s episode, Andy wants to move to something called Van Nuys, Shane resorts to retaliation over his stolen weed, Silas tries to get his legitimate weed business off the ground despite the assistance of Doug and Celia Hodes finally does something other than get kicked around.

That position is currently being filled by Andy Botwin, who’s posing as his dead older brother to get access to his money from a crazy ex-girlfriend of Judah’s. And you can see the anguish in his face that he has to literally pretend to be Judah to get what he had but even that isn’t good enough. Obviously Nancy is making a mistake in her decision to move in with Esteban, but Nancy’s prone to poor decision making skills and Andy realizes that, but he couldn’t help looking crestfallen.

Looks like a lovely town.

I actually kind of like the direction this is taking and that they aren’t rushing through it, because it speaks to Nancy’s character. She always takes the easy way out. It’s a tremendous character flaw: the easy way out is the right decision. But it’s pretty much pathological right now whereas she used to seem fully aware of how she operates. I can’t recall a more self-involved character on television at the moment and I wouldn’t be surprised if she left Andy in favor of Esteban because Andy made her cry by pointing out that she’s responsible for never catching any breaks. Usually we detest this characterization, but finally I don’t feel like I’m supposed to always root for Nancy Botwin to walk away unscathed.

But it seems like good fortune runs in at least half of the Botwin family (it doesn’t for Silas and clearly didn’t for Judah), as Shane is now robbing his dirtbag teacher of the pot he stole from Shane and other worldy posessions. I imagine, given the age he was at when Judah died and everything that happened subsequently (in the show only about six months have passed but we’ll let it slide), Shane is going to be the most deviant of the bunch. At the rate this series is going he could end up dead or a serial killer by series’ end.

Silas and Doug, like the entire season thus far, were pretty much around for comedic relief. There wasn’t much substance there other than their continued misadventures that resulted in Silas punching Doug (probably long overdue) and them hugging awkwardly before they realized how awkward it was. I enjoy watching it but there isn’t much to add about it, other than I think the banshees from the woods earlier this season is coming back into the fray at some point.

And finally, Celia now has something to work with. Seeing a man dissolved in your frenemies house will provide the leverage she so desperately needed, but it probably isn’t worth the trauma that results. At least not for most people, but Celia isn’t like most people. And that’s why she’s better off as a battle-axe than a mincing little puppy. And hey, it looks like she has the house to herself now, or at least she has it with Doug, Andy and Silas, who might physically remove her from the premises. Either way, it’s good to have her back, however momentarily.

This season is still pretty strong. Despite how much better I consider Breaking Bad to be and it’s glaring since the concepts are so similar, I’ve enjoyed this new season quite a bit. It’s thrown a few curveballs at us and it’s still unclear whether Nancy actually decides to keep her kid and what’s going to happen with Silas, Shane, Andy and everyone else. I’d like to see a little more interaction amongst Andy and everyone else (not just Nancy), as I think he’s the strongest character the show has to offer. But I really have no reasonable complaints about “Van Nuys”.

Eh, this isn’t the direction I want to see this series taken in, because it relies so heavily on everything we hated about last season. There were some new plot points: everyone finally met Esteban and it was highly underwhelming, Silas and Doug’s bumbling attempt to open up a medical marijuana facility and Andy discovering a hidden account of Judah’s, but that’s not exactly a positive development.

There's no way they're pulling this shit off.

I like the concept of it, but the notion of Andy talking to a bank-teller that just happened to lose her virginity to Judah is beyond absurd. When you take under consideration that she wants to reenact her romance with Andy role-playing as his dead brother, then you have an Entourage plot. Actually, this makes Entourage look like The Wire in comparison. Sure, there’s the issue of Andy now being in love with his brother’s widow and all the weirdness from that being reflected in this, but if they tried to make Jamie-Lynn Sigler look so desperate that if Turtle pretended to be her ex-boyfriend she’d willing to sleep with Turtle and assist him in stealing from a bank, there’d be pandemonium on the internets for TV geeks. It would be decried by the majority of fans for this show as “misogynistic” and/or “classless”, When really it’s just lazy.

Andy’s new romantic interest was a small fraction of last night’s episode. It revolved mostly around Nancy and her capacity for evil. At this point, and really ever since mid-point last season, I don’t care about Nancy’s moral crisis. She knew who she was involving herself with, should have acknowledged what how much she’s corrupted herself and everyone else around her with these casual interactions. As usual, she takes the easy way out and calls her boyfriend so she can pretend to be amoral, as opposed to flat out immoral. “Eh, one of these guys is going to have to die, I’ll call my mob boss boyfriend to kill the DEA agent so I can pretend the onus is on him and that I didn’t do any dirty work.” Man, listening to that shit was difficult to stomach. 

Speaking of which, this new turn of events implies more screen time for Esteban with Nancy. That was probably the dullest aspect of last season. I don’t recall an interesting exchange that didn’t feel forced or misguided or overly-sympathetic and understanding for the lead character and her boyfriend. I mean, at leas they’re not attempting too enamor us with Esteban, at least not monolithically. Right now they’re painting Nancy as not having any other options, overlooking the fact that she made this bed for herself.

And lastly, everyone hates Celia, hooray! Don’t get me wrong, I hate Celia too, but I want to see something else happen with the character that doesn’t involve every other character being indifferent to her life/well-being. What’s the point of even having the character if  she exists solely so we and her peers wish she didn’t? Is this Weeds’ version of Rickety-Cricket from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Honestly, go back to making her adversarial so at least we’re getting something out of it.

In other words, this was a bad change of pace for the show. We’re chalking it up to the prolonged dream sequence from this season of Rescue Me, as that seems to mark the turning point for where that series nosedived (the difference being we enjoyed that episode more than we hated it). We’re holding out hope for Weeds to rebound, as there is still a lot to like about what’s taking place (same for Rescue Me), but unless Silas, Shane, Doug or Andy are on camera, our interest is non-existent if Nancy’s with Esteban or Celia’s with anyone. I guess my plea would be for them to refocus the series on the distribution of marijuana and all the trials and tribulations that come with that, as opposed to the high crime that’s being explored ever so casually right now.

Expect a very brief Rescue Me recap later.

Kind of a somber week in television with the passing of Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon and Michael Jackson. If you’re wondering what either of them have to do with television you’re probably under the age of 25. To which I respond” Google it, you unworldly fuck. But instead of going into some lengthy retrospective that I am bound to say something wildly inappropriate in, I’ll just offer my condolences and move along with some links.

Weeds has a new female Mexican character that is going to intervene in Esteban and Nancy’s tryst. Sounds great, I feel like that show can do no wrong at the moment. Also, if this new character isn’t at least loosely based on Griselda Blanco, I’m going to be extremely disappointed.

Wow, what an actress.

Johnny Depp and Megan Fox were both on Letterman last night. As per usual around here, I’ll show a picture of the latter and talk about the former, because I didn’t know it was possible to come off as humble when talking about an island in the Bahamas and a boat that could cross the Atlantic, both of which you own, but he did just that. Fox came across as comfortable in her own skin but, and you’re not going to believe this, she was remarkably self-absorbed. Surprising, isn’t it?

Janet Hubert, better known as Aunt Vivyan from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, has upped the gutter language in her counter-strike against Will Smith, whom she alleges professionally abused her in the early 90’s and “hid behind NBC’s panties”. Obviously this is an attempt to sully his good name and expose him for the scoundrel he clearly is. And maybe she’s being honest, I don’t know. But what I do know is, all of this shit happened well over a decade ago (too lazy to actually look up her last appearance on the show), and she’s probably in some financial trouble (who isn’t? Oh, that’s right, Will Smith). You can probably do the math on this one, and it’s the same reason anyone would be skeptical.

By his own admission, Letterman is afraid to tell a Sarah Palin joke. This wasn’t supposed to be political but since it so clearly is, I like the selectiveness of everyone’s political correctness. Republicans get mad if you crack jokes about evangelicals and democrats get made if you crack jokes about minorities and women. Then both sides somehow manage to complain about political correctness run amok when they’re called out for their (sometimes legitimate, sometimes not) bigotry. I guess me assessment would be: It’s the circle of life, Simba. We need these distractions and for no one to ever call attention to the rampant, sweeping idiocy of it all.

CBS announced their fall premiere dates, so if you can’t wait for some sensationalized crime drama, now you know how long before you can watch new episodes that follow the identical format of the last 800 you’ve watched.

NBC has also announced their fall premiere dates, and while their programming is considerably more diverse than CBS’, it pulls in about a third of the ratings (completely rough estimate). I don’t know why this is, but I do know that everyone I surround myself with watches NBC far more than they watch CBS, so from this pointless little anecdotal nugget, I conclude — once again — that Nielsen’s are utter bullshit.

To say True Blood is growing in popularity is like saying Michael Jackson is has a loyal fan base. They’ve already moved 1,000,000 DVD’s of the first season, and selling that many of the first season means significantly increased viewership of the second, and that forces everyone to buy/rent those DVD’s or purchase HBO. I can’t believe we’re going to look back on this and say that True Blood was the show that pulled HBO out from the gutter, because I just don’t get it.

Because we can’t go by without at least throwing something, someone’s way, here’s a great article about how Michael Jackson basically made MTV a brand. Not what it is today, someone well after Jackson’s prime turned MTV what it is. To honor his memory they did show a marathon of his videos, but they quickly jumped back into their non-stop barrage of reality programming. Way to know your audience, MTV. No, I’m serious, way to know your audience.

And finally, the NY Times wrote an entire article about HBO is hoping their new series Hung, about a down on his luck school teacher who starts turning female tricks for money, becomes a hit. They could probably write the same article for every show that has or will premiere at any point in the future, so I’m not sure what the point is. I will say this, however, that based on the strength of this review, I’d fully expect a recap from us on Monday.

That’s it until Monday, I imagine. Back with recaps and potentially nightly previews next week.

Ugh, I really don’t feel like doing this right now but I feel like I should honor one of my promises to post links this week. So here goes. Also, we’re contemplating watching The Real World tonight, because we’re desperate for something with a pulse after watching The Superstars and Rescue Me last night, the latter of which damn near made me comatose. Hey, it might be utter garbage, but at least we can watch people get drunk, fall down and at some point screw each other’s brains out. Just an affirmation of life is what we’re looking for, that’s all.

With the current uptick in quality on Weeds, I suppose this is good news: Mary Louise-Parker is on board with Weeds so long as it stays fresh. If that was true she would have left after season two. But I hate to break it to you, Mary, but that might require showing more than just your tits floating in a bathtub. Ahem. This could, however, also be interpreted as bad news, because unless Parker and series creator Jenji Kohan have staunch disagreements about the best course action for the plot, it makes the likelihood of her dying before the series finale highly unlikely.

I'm starting to understand the appeal of this show.

Here’s the new teaser for Dexter, America’s favorite sensationalized televised series just behind CSI and Law & Order: SVU. Even though I don’t watch it and kind of resent its critical and commercial popularity, I am more than willing to concede that Dexter makes those two shows look like something on ABC Family. In the sensationalistic Olympics, Dexter takes the gold in a landslide.

Larry David is displeased with his appearance in high definition. Wait, you’re saying Larry David behaving neurotically about something? Get out. He’s usually so full of confidence and self-assurance when he plays a version of himself on his HBO series. This is like finding out Charlie Sheen likes hookers.

For the other 57 people who watch and/or care about Nip Tuck, they’ve already filmed their series finale, which won’t air for well over two years. Obviously they’re not bound to anything, but I like the idea that they already have a very specific direction they’re taking the series in. I’m dying to know which body parts of which main characters will have to be amputated.

And finally, here’s an interview with Connie Britton about the upcoming season(s) of Friday Night Lights. For whatever reason, more is revealed in interviews with FNL cast members than with cast from any other show I can think of. For The Sopranos you’d probably have to take out more people than the writers killed off in the first two seasons to get confirmation that Silvio wouldn’t be killed off during hiatus. Anyways, don’t watch the interview if you take SPOILERS really personally, like most everyone seems too.

Back with more tomorrow.

We’re doing two Weeds posts in a row to try and retain a semblance of order around here. Not to be all melodramatic, but waiting a week to do a Weeds post is like taking ten hours to buy a new pair of sandals. They’re all pretty much the same and spending more than ten minutes thinking about any of them is a colossal waste of time. Not to mention that last night’s episode was really, really good.

This is the closest we can find that's contextually similar.

It was like, season two good. I can’t remember the last time Andy and Nancy (man, they just designed so these two eventually end up together) actually interacted with other people while in each other’s company. And the scene with Esteban in the OB/GYN of doom was definitely the funniest they’ve compiled since Andy had his mural put on the wall with the giant cracker by the morass of illegal immigrants. Can someone find me a wallpaper of that? Thanks.

After we bitched about how distant everyone was from everyone else last week and how it might adversely effect the series, at least they made a joke out of how quickly there plans fell apart, and we got to see Nancy interact with someone that knew her before she met Judah, and apparently she was just as self-absorbed then as she is now. For being the lead character of a series that’s currently in its fifth season, we know amazingly little about Nancy Botwin. Hearing what a recluse she was certainly provided some symmetry, and we know that her behavior in the wake of Judah’s death is pretty much how she would have reacted to any crisis, much less one as catastrophic as the sudden death of her husband.

I guess that’s kind of been the point of the character, she’s been so preoccupied with maintaining the homestead and when she wasn’t (the last couple seasons, essentially), no one’s given a shit enough about her to ask. At least until now, with Jill in the picture it offers an entirely new dynamic and perspective on Nancy. Instead of dealing with her bullshit for the past year or so, she’s had a lifetime of it to build up her resentment.

Anyhow, as far as the plot goes, I’m not entirely sure what Till is doing back in the picture, other than Sucio might have been the one operating the belt sander last season (Cesar did say that he tortures people for them). But a couple things I’m confused about: 1) Doesn’t Guillermo pretty much already know that Nancy is responsible for busting up the tunnel operation, even if she won’t admit to it? And 2) Why would she tell Esteban she was leaving? Just so she can claim honesty with him and maybe he’ll spare her life? I didn’t really understand the sequence of events at the end of the episode, but as far as I could tell they weren’t supposed to be cut and dry.

We’re really liking the Silas and Doug storyline as well. I’m still amazed about how everyone, everywhere can be  bought with either free marijuana or profits from the distribution of it, but getting back to the relatively harmless sale of weed is a welcomed return amidst all of the tension. We still think their storyline is somehow going to intersect with Nancy’s to get her off the hook.

The demise of Celia’s stint with the revolutionaries couldn’t have come fast enough. We assume she’ll be back in Ren-mar by episodes end next week, being only mildly apologetic. We’re not ruling out whether or not they’ll enter into the equation with the obligatory dispatching of Esteban, but for now we’re glad there isn’t this side-story so far removed from everything other than a series of phone calls.

Anyhow, if they can keep up at this pace we’ll be recommending this series and not just begrudgingly recapping it. If they can inject a good deal of humor into it and still keep the show tonally consistent with the material, then I’m fine with it. If not, then we get back to the same forced drama that hasn’t ever really worked on this show because everything happens so fast and, of course, we know nothing about our protagonist.

Rescue Me recap later today.

Guess who finally got Showtime? I don’t associate anyone else with this site, so it should be pretty easy to discern. We switched out Cinemax for it at no additional cost, which seems hard to believe. Cinemax is a collection of movies that have either been or are going to be ran on HBO plus an embarrassing amount of soft-core porn to choose from. Basically, if you already have HBO and internet access, it renders Cinemax obsolete. I thought that since HBO owned the beshitted pay network they were a packaged deal with Time Warner, but it appears that’s not the case. That, or the technical support person I was talking to was still riding their opium high. Either way, we’re all the better for it. Now we can watch Dexter, and quit pretending like we hate it because we don’t have accommodating access to it.

Onto the recap.

I can see why some critics are complaining about the series being too dark now, as I was not expecting a rape scene. I probably should have been, since Nancy has always used sex to her advantage, it makes sense that she would have that taken away from her while she’s being stripped of everything else. It was a pretty horrific scene and one that now has me rooting for her, once again.

In hindsight, this might seem like a walk in the park.

Things are not looking up for Nancy Botwin, she’s being intimidated by convicts she put behind bars and the father of her unborn child. Her kids still hate her and now she has an unwanted live in watchdog in Cesar, pretty much things have only gotten worse for our anti-heroine. If we were watching this all unfold on hidden cameras, we’d assume Nancy has at most ten months of life left. But since it’s a TV show that thrives on her existence (though we’re convinced it could thrive without here), well, we’re interested to see how the writers write her out of the current predicament, as even she seems ready to die if getting her estate in order with Doug is any indication (why hasn’t she done this yet?).

Right now we’re banking on Silas’ currently ill-fated growing project to align them with another illegal outfit that goes to war on behalf of the Botwins. It could be the angry cowboys that were born in the wrong century they stumbled onto in the woods. They didn’t really give any indication that the gang of automatic weapon wielding misfits would come back into the fray, but the godfather seemed like a decent actor, so we’re expecting it to happen.

I’m kind of blase about the other two subplots with Shane and Andy in Berkeley and Celia joining a resistance outfit. The latter might be a distant attempt to get Celia’s conundrum back in the main storyline, since she is with a resistance movement and Nancy is being intimidated by the Mayor if Tijuana (is that right?). Anyways, draw your own conclusions. In fact, I imagine her story will intertwine with Nancy’s in the next couple months, because I don’t think the audience has much use for Celia Hodes if she’s this far removed from everyone else.

Shane and Andy staying with Nancy’s sister just seems…I don’t know, this obviously isn’t going to be more than a temporary arrangement and as per usual with the majority of arcs from Weeds, nothing is going to come of it. Have they even mentioned Andy and Judah’s dad since he skipped town? Was it anything more than a convenient way to set the lot of them up in a house? I don’t think it was. So if the justification for the plot is to eat up camera time and to say they have Jennifer Jason Leigh making a cameo, then why should I care about it? Obviously I’m making a lot of assumptions, but if the past four seasons are any indication, I’m not going to be into this subject matter unless it’s written exceptionally.

Still, a pretty solid episode even if about 30% of it seemed like unnecessary filler (at least for now). With all four ongoing plots having nothing to do with each other, we’re looking forward to seeing how they all converge into one show again. Maybe it’s just for the fact that we’re not watching any other television at the moment and Weeds has been off for almost a year, but we’re just enjoying a semi-structured storyline with interesting characters. Hopefully things don’t fly too far off-the-wall, but at this point I’m not even sure if that’s possible. Maybe if Nancy used those machetes to chop up Cesar, but barring any violence from a generally non-violent character, we think they’d have a hard time surprising us.

Back with links later today.

Yeah, didn’t watch a minute of television last night besides Daily Show and the Larry David interview with Conan the night before. He just may be the most awkwardly comfortable man that walks the streets in Hollywood. Judging by the bulk majority of these late night interviews, that’s some steep competition. So kudos to you, Mr. David. And may you henceforth have only non-regrettable orgasms (it probably helps if you watch the interview).

Anyhow, you could probably guess that we’re resorting to posting links. Enjoy.

I don't know what he sees in her.

Christina Hendricks (Joan from Mad Men) is engaged to some actor on some shitty USA or TNT drama. No one should be too surprised by this development but everyone should be disappointed. Anyhow, I guess it pays to be on one of the many interchangeable television shows produced by both cable and broadcast networks alike. If nothing else it keeps you in the loop.

A man walked 2,200 miles from Cincinnati to LA to hand in his Survivor audition tape and was still turned down by casting. This story is quite amazing. First of all, only someone from Ohio could still possess the relentless, dimwitted optimism that’s required to partake in something like a walk across the country for a reality television show. Secondly, only Hollywood could take something as inconsequential as a falling reality series and turn the casting process into the fucking Godfather. I can’t imagine what the harm would be in allowing him on the show. “He’s too nice” was the excuse he claims they gave, and admittedly that can be nauseating. But at the same time, wouldn’t he generate a little much needed publicity? Wouldn’t this create a little buzz, and you might get some viewers who’ve given up on the show in the past few years? I really just don’t see a downside to casting him.

Here’s an interview with Mary Louise-Parker, in which she just talks about Weeds for the better part of 2,000 words. It’s a worthwhile read if you have some free time, but nothing too illuminating. Talking to actors rarely is. “How do you like pretending to be an unlikeable bitch that sleeps her way out of trouble and jeopardizes the safety of her family?” “I’ve always been attracted to roles where I come of as unlikeable, it’s just such a stretch for me, and I enjoy challenging myself, both on and off the camera.”…And so on.

Jason Jones has thrown down the gauntlet on Stephen Colbert, calling his sojourn to Iran tougher than Stephen’s to Iraq. I’d be hard-pressed to disagree, but I’d love to see a response that actually turns this into something of a feud. There needs to be more crossover between the two shows being that they are so closely connected and whatnot. (Sidebar: There wasn’t a response for this last night, was there?).

The Artie Lange saga continues, and he’s now banned from HBO, under the premise that HBO, “doesn’t have any interest in his world.” Mind you, this is the same network that is known for Taxi Cab Confessions, G-String Divas and a slew of X-rated stand-up gigs. No Mr. HBO exec, I’m afraid that’s exactly what you and your cohorts have interest in, whether you want to admit it or not. In fact you inhabit it, and are partly responsible for its creation. Anyway, in case you’re keeping score at home, that makes an entire series of networks and the most storied talk show in the history of late night that he’s no longer welcomed at. All in all, not bad for a single night’s work.

Portia De Rossi (Lindsay Fumke from Arrested Development) has her agent shopping around her memoirs detailing her experience with anorexia while shooting Ally McBeal. Man, with Calista Flockart on set, that show was probably ground zero for eating disorders in its time. No wonder it was canceled prematurely (at least according to ratings), we were about to see the slowest mass suicide the country has ever known.

And finally, probably a good sign that you’re losing credibility as an awards show: when the MTV Video Music Awards are forcing you to reschedule. That’s what’s happening to the Emmy’s (surprisingly not the Grammy’s, though I’m sure they’d have to acquiesce as well). Not that I give a shit about the Emmy’s, but it is really depressing that anything on MTV has the commercial appeal to force anything, much less television’s most “prized” award ceremony. Though this isn’t really surprising, I don’t even want to contemplate who would win a ratings war if they were the only two options, The Wire or Next…let’s just end this before we start thinking about it.

Back tomorrow with more links, most likely.

It became apparent to me during my infinite sickness over the weekend that Showtime is also streaming this Weeds season on Netflix. Or should I say the season five premiere, we haven’t the foggiest if the second episode will be made available. We’re banking on it, but that seems ill-advised. Just let it be known that we’re trying to keep up.

Anyhow, in the world that Weeds inhabits, where everyone ages like Jack but no one pays any attention to it, we have a fifteen year old playing an 11 year-old, a twenty something playing a senior in high school, and a woman who has overcome cancer and alcohol and drug addiction in the span of roughly six months (and that feels generous) being held captive by her estranged daughter, who not only has turned into a sociopath but has aged four years in the same time span; yet we’re willing to overlook all these continuity issues and appreciate last Monday’s show.

"Man, what a fuck up."

Mostly because the writers are giving Nancy some repercussions for her actions, and for once she’s gotten herself in an unmanageable bind. She can’t seduce her way out of this one (be it a third party or the one responsible for the bind) and someone eventually has to come to her rescue (but there’s no Conrad around) or some coincidental catastrophic accident has to occur (like U-Turn dying of a heart attack). Either way, I’m interested to see how they write her out of this with her life still intact.

And after all this time we’ve been waiting for her to be on the receiving end of some comeuppance, we’re now rooting for her. Obviously she isn’t all bad (as evidenced by her turning states witness), just reckless and in over her head. It seems like her epiphany was a little slow to develop, and that’s how she finds herself completely abandoned by family and unable to enjoy random flash mobs in outdoor malls.

She understood the jeopardy she put herself in (by actually sending Shane to Northern California, something we can’t believe she hasn’t done before), but that stark reminder seemed really harrowing. Even more so than the gathering in the OB/GYN’s office (is that right?).

Other notes from “Wonderful, Wonderful”

-Can’t believe there was an opportunity to take a Michael Moore like pot-shot at the American health industry and the writer’s didn’t take advantage of it. Must be because Obama is in office, or else the writers’ are becoming a little more self-aware. But Jesus, they even showed preference for being in the states. I guess we should be thankful she wasn’t having a drug lord’s baby in Denmark.

-If this episode was the entire reason for bringing Quinn back, I’m not sure why they bothered. Who knows? She might become a recurring character. But it looks like her now ex-boyfriend is going to become Celia’s new whipping post (replacing Dean, who excelled at the position). But opening the season with everyone expressing deep indifference towards her is kind of lazy, even if the character is at least partially deserving of it.

-I’d also like to address some of the criticism of this show, because there seems to be a lot of kvetching that the series is too dark or macabre to enjoy on a purely visceral level. To which my response would be: What’s changed? I think they’ve kind of been heading in this direction for the past season or so and anything like what we saw last Monday should have been expected. If not before, definitely when in the season four penultimate episode they showed Till’s boyfriend’s face being removed with a chainsaw. Wasn’t exactly a giggle-fest then, either.

If you can’t tell, we thought this was a strong return for Jenji Kohan and everyone else. Basically, we gave up on this show being a pure comedy in the pilot episode (when Nancy showed up at Conrad’s house bawling hysterically) and thought that last week was an appropriate follow-up to everything that transpired in the season that preceded it. If they went back to Nancy selling marijuana-laced baked goods to neighborhood poker games we’d feel like they were being a tad condescending.

Back with some links later.

We’re noticeably under the weather today, like can’t hold our head up straight or move without immense pain radiating through our body under the weather. So unfortunately we’re going to have to mail this in. Don’t blame us, blame the dipshit who comes into our work with the flu out of some misguided sense of dedication.

I'll never get tired of this.

Here’s some snippets from Fred Savage directing an episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I can’t begin to tell you how much I’m looking forward to this. Between this photo array and DeVito’s pretend meltdown with local Philly news I just might have to start downloading pirated episodes. Also, the first picture is of a dog that appears to be dead or experiencing some REM sleep, which leads me to believe that Mike Vick is going to be a focal point of one of these episodes.

Conan O’Brien has usurped David Letterman in ratings. And here I was, thinking that one night when Letterman beat Conan on Tuesday that it was all over for the gangly red-head. Who would have thought, that when you beat someone in ratings for one night in a show that airs five nights a week, you can easily bounce back from that? Rejoice, the world is not ending. I don’t know if it will stay this way for Conan, but with every committed republican now officially vowing to never watch Letterman, O’Brien will probably lose again tonight. Has anyone even bothered to explain Letterman’s joke to Palin? Because if she really thinks he was trying to disparage Willow (Alaska is still on planet Earth, right?), I don’t think she really understands the context of it.

Here is a round table discussion with multiple showrunners explaining why they don’t like spoilers. I didn’t realize this was something that needed explaining. People invest a lot of time developing plots, scripts, settings, etc.  I could understand one wanting to wait to unveil their work on their own time-table, not at the whim of some unemployed fuck-face. Maybe someone thought that any news is good news? Either way, I’m linking to this mainly so you can see what Genji Kohan looks like. Methinks she was born into whatever plane of existence Weeds happens on. At least the first couple of seasons.

Alright, that’s it. We’ll try to post again later tonight.

And so the good will built up by the first nine episodes or so starts to dissipate.  This was still a good episode but reminiscent of their old parlor games. Specifically: Janet and Sheila throwing themselves at Tommy, each with different motivations but also carrying the same torch that the writer’s had to break their backs too light.

We’re giving this a pass, however. At least from Sheila’s perspective, because she was obviously manipulating Tommy more than she was clinging to him, and to be honest he seemed to prefer it that way, as evidenced by his dazed “are you using sex as a weapon?” and her nonchalant reply of “yes”. I suppose if they’re going to insist on carrying on with their relationship, at least they’ve managed to turn the tables somewhat. All that matter for Leary I’m sure is the episodes still include simulating sex scenes. Hey, not everyone can be David Duchovny.

Someone's moving up in the world.

Gavin was also on the receiving end of a little more comeuppance at the end of the episode, with Mike besting him in a fight. I’m still not entirely sure what they were fighting over, and it seemed Mike was being a tad harsh (though that might correlate with him feeling like shit for taking Damien into that house at the end of last week), but it spoke to a couple of points I’ve always wondered about: 1) I understand seniority in situations like this, but how much longer are the likes of the Sean’s, Mike and Franco (though to a much lesser extent) going to continue to take shit from this guy? And 2) Tommy seems to be the only guy in the house who hasn’t expressed any interest in making rank. He’s playing a character in his early-mid 40’s, how much longer does he think he’ll have the wherewithal to make heroic rescues like they demonstrate him doing every episode?

As evidenced by his confrontation with Mike, that day is coming quicker than he might want to admit, and the longer he insists on being a standard foot soldier (sorry, I’m not familiar with what the proper terminology would be), the less he is going to command the respect of his younger contemporaries. We’ve always said this show is The Sopranos but with fireman instead of mobsters, and I think we’re about half a season away from Tommy catching white Sean off-guard, then beating him for no reason at all before running into the shower to vomit discretely.

Other notes from “Thaw”:

-I like what they’re doing with the Needles character, but sorry, I just don’t think the guy playing him is a very good actor. Watching his tough guy act is cringe-worthy, and probably the reason no one is taking him seriously. Maybe that’s the point and he’s actually a really good actor, but I don’t think it’s intentional.

-Are they ever going to donate more than three minutes an episode to Franco’s boxing endeavors? Because from a comedy standpoint, it’s the best thing the series has going for it at the moment.

-Actually, even when limited to one scene, Michael J. Fox’s character steals the show. The lunge he made to grab-hold of Tommy’s genitals was one of those moments of physical comedy that you generally don’t see on television anymore. It reminded us of something out of The Hangover (funniest movie we’ve seen in a long, long time by the way, and we were expecting to hate it).

-I know these aren’t the most educated guys in the world nor are they portrayed to be, but assuming Mike explained the situation thoroughly, are we expected to suspend disbelief enough to believe that everyone in this house — with the exception of Kenny — thinks passing out with blood pouring out of your cock is a surefire sign of gonnorrhea.

Anyhow, it’s almost at a point where Tommy’s a sympathetic character again. Between the women in his life encouraging him to drink, being more comforted by the dead than the living, and now the one refuge he’s always had, the firehouse, starting to turn against him with Mike leveling him out;  his existence is starting to seem more and more hollow. In such a dispute, he might still have the guys siding with him, but it’s never going to come to fruition since both parties involved will fear the reaction of the house.

This, much like everything else will stay bottled up. And since it seems he has no one to turn too other than Kenny (who wouldn’t apologize for his part in their all-out brawl), he’ll probably end up back in AA before season’s end.

Probably it for today, unless we find somewhere to watch Weeds at lunch, but we should get to that before next week’s episode. If not then we’re not recapping this season.

Kind of busy at work dealing with the fallout from an audit, so naturally we’re a little later on this then we’d care to be. What do you want from me, though? The only way to avoid circumstances like this would be to quit my job. Wait a second…that’s not a half bad idea. Then I could live out my dream of hunting leprechauns in the northeast. Most of the sitings are in Vermont but I’m certain their just crossing in from Massachusetts.

Anyway, enough of those pipe dreams, everyone knows my generation won’t be able to retire until we’re in our late 60’s, nor will we see a dime of social security I would use to pay for my bow ‘n arrow set with fairy dust tips. Let’s just doll out some links.

Exclusive photos from the third season of "Mad Men". They're making a few...changes.

Here’s a profile piece on Elizabeth Moss (Peggy from Mad Men). Nothing terribly enlightening but apparently she was in the Broadway production Speed The Plow (which made some headlines with Jeremy Piven leaving due to Mercury poisoning), she is in an upcoming Judd Apatow flick and is married to Fred Armisen from SNL. Between all this and her work on the best show on television, she’s quickly becoming a seven degree-r.

Multiple videos of Dwight Schrute’s best moments, since we regard him as the best character on the show it seemed link-worthy. Also, is it bad that we’re already feeling nostalgic for The Office, regardless of our ambivalence about the finale? It can’t be a good thing.

Entourage adds more guest “stars” to the sixth season. I’m just going to start referring guest “stars” on Entourage as “flare”, because the emphasis on style and pizazz over substance has become jarring, even for a show about Hollywood. Also, the quotations around the word stars is necessary, since one of them is the guy from Eli Stone, one from Prison Break and the other is James Caan’s kid. I think you understand where we’re coming from on this.

HBO news regarding Hung and Treme, also they’re considering canceling In Treatment. To which we reply please don’t toy with me HBO. If you can get rid of all your series’ that revolve around overwrought conversations about uninteresting characters we’d be eternally grateful.

If this photo of Stephen Colbert in a camouflage three-piece suit doesn’t brighten up your day, then I’m afraid you can’t be helped.

And finally, a couple of bad reviews for the upcoming season of Weeds. With just reading the headlines and not the actual article (do you want these links or not?), it seems they’re generally complaining about the same thing I am: the series has over-extended itself. Unless Doug and Andy are walking around smoking it, the usage and sale of marijuana is barely even a blip on the radar anymore. Now we have human and cocaine trafficking to operate the screen while we are expected to root for a woman who’s responsible (indirectly or otherwise) for the deaths of several characters.

But we’re supposed to forgive her because…she’s an attractive 40-something widow with two sons? Its never really been explained why we shouldn’t want to see her dead. Still, regardless of how uneven and flawed we find the series to be now, we’re doing everything we can to find a place to watch it. If we’re so fortunate we’ll probably stick around for Nurse Jackie as well. But I have my limits to how far I’m willing to go. As is the norm in these situations, I don’t allow kissing. NO exceptions.

We’re going to close out our week with the standard links post, just so it seems like we’re in tune with what is actually happening in this world, even if nothing is. Also, I know that despite rarely watching them, we limit our previews to the broadcast networks. If there’s any summer series you’re looking forward too but aren’t aware of when it’s starting, go here, and unless it’s It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia that you’re curious about, they should have an answer for you. As for It’s Always Sunny, you’re guess is as good as mine.

David Duchovny is now on record as saying that shooting sex scenes is boring. I imagine when you’re an admitted and now renoun nymphomaniac (probably one of the better maniacs to be), simulating the act of intercourse as part of your job is pretty mundane. Man, I can’t even begin to fathom some of the crazy shit this guy has done. He could claim to have bedded aliens and I’d totally believe him. Anyway, now that I’m done making you sufficiently hate your life you can probably go now.

I haven’t talked much about the couple from the MTV reality show on I’m A Celebrity, because the more we all pretend they don’t exist the better. But when Ted Telegdy (random NBC executive) comes out and says publicly that, “they are everything that’s wrong with America“, I have to break my code of silence. For starters, he’s right. Secondly, he’s either forgetting his own role in this or just willfully ignoring it. Heidi and Spencer don’t exist if it isn’t for people like him and his ilk giving them a platform. If he and whoever’s pulling the strings at MTV shunned these dipshits like everyone should, they’d be just two more over-privileged scumbags living their lives in virtual anonymity. You know, just like Ted Telegdy. This is like NFL labor negotiations: none of you are innocent.

Don’t know if anyone other than me actually watched the pre-game show for the finals last night, but Jimmy Kimmel and Eminem did a wildly funny sketch with Kimmel trying to put together a rap song. I highly recommend watching this, despite your opinions of either gentlemen involved. By far this was the highlight of the half hour. I don’t know what it says about Kimmel’s show that it is always infinitely better around marquee events (The Super Bowl, The Oscars, etc), other than that he should try this hard every time.

And to send you into the weekend, a couple announcements about worthwhile programming on Monday night: Weeds returns with its fifth season premiere. We’re looking for a place to watch it, but are repeatedly coming up short. Basically, you’ll find out on Tuesday if we’re recapping it. I wouldn’t get my hopes up, though.

Also, Letterman will have Howard Stern on his show Monday night to try and boost his ratings against his new rival, but I think his attempts to stay ahead of Conan are coming a little late. He’s like Clarence Royce to Conan’s Tom Carcetti. Not to mention that a solid percentage of Americans have forgotten that Stern is still alive since his move to Satellite. Like me, for instance. I’m not paying for radio when I have terrestrial and free podcasts at the tip of my fingers. Sorry, but I don’t need to spend money to ensure that I’m properly entertained in my car at all times. Not everyone lives in LA or commutes into NYC.

Man, that was random. Back next week with more of the same.