Grid Effect

We’ll have parts three and four in the adventures of NBC executives coming next week, we’re still transcribing a lot of what we heard, and that is no easy task. To get us to next week we’re resorting back to our old ways, and getting you caught up on all the random industry news that no one is particularly interested in. Enjoy.

Some guy won American Idol a couple nights ago. We have no idea what his name is, but it really doesn’t matter. The operative word is “guy”, meaning he’ll be participating in c-list celebrity charity events and on E! reality television shows within the calendar year. Still, 32 million people watched that shit, and that almost seems like an understatement. We were in a Chinese restaurant for our nieces birthday on Wednesday night. Everyone from the bartenders to the waiters to my nieces to my siblings to my cousins were invested in this show. You would have thought a UFO had touched down the way everyone was huddling around the fucking television.

HBO has hired Frank Rich, A NY Times op-ed columnist as a consultant. Seems like a peculiar decision, given the mainstream indifference towards everything involving the NY Times. Maybe they hired him for his opinion, only to do the exact opposite of everything he suggests. Nothing against Frank Rich or the NY Times, but numbers are numbers and they do not play favorably with anything out of their op-ed section. It isn’t like HBO, who play host to Real Time With Bill Maher, hasn’t made their political leanings perfectly clear in the past.

The psuedo-feminist gawker blog Jezebel is watching every episode of Sex and The City in anticipation of the TV show’s theatrical debut. From the way she makes it sound, it’s like the TV equivalent of first time you go back out into public after being in a strip club, in which you expect every conversation with a woman to conclude with the offering of a lap dance. But instead of mistaking innocent exchanges for simulated sex-for-money propositions, you find yourself using tacky puns in everyday conversation and assuming that everyone is speaking in innuendo. In other words, never go to strip clubs, and if you must watch Sex and The City, never do so at a frequency of more than two or three episodes at a time. It’s bad for your real world sensibilities.

Simpsons voice actors (is this the proper terminology?) are now taking home $500,000 an episode. This would have made sense in the mid-90’s when the series was arguably (most likely) the best thing on television, now that it’s sinking like a fucking rock, actually, its been at the bottom of the ocean for about four or five years now, they’re getting a cool half a mil for their efforts? When did the television industry become like NBA contracts?

I usually find myself in a similar predicament at least two or three times a week.

Rescue Me, one of the bigger casualties of the writers strike that still managed to stay on air, is airing ten “minisodes” in lieu of an actual season in 2008. This is a nice gesture, and if you have a Tivo or DVR everything set to record Rescue Me episodes will pick these up, but I still do not have either device so am shit out of luck when it comes to actually catching these things. My life may be rather empty, but not so much that I can make time for something as mundane as a five minute episode of television. Why they don’t put these things up on a youtube channel or something is beyond me. Anyhow, their next season is twenty-two episodes, meaning it’s actually just two seasons without a hiatus.

Survivor is hoping to appeal to a younger audience by–and I kid you not– lowering their age requirements to be on the show from 21 to 18. Umm, this is the same show that had Parvati, Amanda, Jason and Erik on it, right? Something tells me the fountain of maturity wasn’t the culprit for keeping their ratings down. It probably has more to do with after sixteen seasons, everything starts to lose its appeal. But hey, by all means, lower the age limit. They should pull kids out of a TRL crowd if they think that will help their cause.

On the other hand, Survivor’s debut in Israel, much like it was here, has been something of a pop-culture phenomenon. I have no idea what it’s like in Israel for the average joe, but many of the citizens have to consider the name of the reality series in somewhat poor taste. They did an entire Curb Your Enthusiasm episode about this.

And finally in ratings news, FOX finished the season at #1, proving once again that just because you are successful, doesn’t mean you won’t piss us off greatly. And Desperate Housewives is rated the highest scripted series on television by beating out CSI. Proving that ever since The Sopranos went off the air, if you want to engage in any water-cooler discussion at work, then this site is really counterproductive for you.

Back with part three of our epic saga of the NBC executives later today or next Monday.