Grid Effect

We’ll go back to our roots and make this post a plethora of links instead of extrapolating on one news item like we’ve been doing recently. Not for any nostalgic reasons, but nothing we could find deserves its own post and we’ll be damned if we’re going to compromise our integrity for the sake of consistency, alright?

Roger Ebert waxes sentimentally about Wit, an old HBO original movie about a woman dying from ovarian cancer starring Emma Thompson. Guy has balls. It must be painfully difficult to write about such subject matter in his situation. We’re still waiting for him to come back to television, because while we like how A.O. Scott has recommended two television seasons as his DVD picks of the week (Wire season four and Mad Men), he can’t hold a candle to Mr. Ebert.

Office webisodes (a much preferred homogenization of words to “minisodes”) are supposed to kick off today, but the newest one has yet to be posted. We’ve never watched these and we’re not sure why. Probably has something to do with the fact that The Office already produces twenty-two episodes a season, a significant chunk of which are an hour long. Oh well, now that we’ve linked to the site, we’ll probably watch all of them in one sitting over some donuts and milk (I’m twelve). Man, writing for this site is so personally rewarding.

You’re not going to believe this, but that mean old fuck who hosts Hell’s Kitchen doesn’t like what I’m assuming he considers intrusive questioning. Wow. He always seems so even-keeled and understanding. I can’t believe he would just curse like that. If this was 1992 and he somehow made it passed the FCC, my parents wouldn’t let me watch his show after this incident.

In a move that has shocked the world, the whore sleeping with the sleazebag former New York State Governor is heading out to Hollywood for a stab at reality television. It’s almost like, a girl with no discernible talent or ambition, who slept with rich and powerful men for large sums of money, actually has a deep-seeded desire to be in the limelight. How immoral. Not the whole prostitution thing, but using your prostitution to garner fame. Having sex with strangers for money is supposed to be one of the more honest trades left in this crazy workaday world, and now there’s all these ulterior motives. It sickens me what we’ve become.

Denise Richard’s neighbors are upset over her new reality series, as it is a huge disruption on the neighborhood. They claim, “This is a gated community, not a zoo”. Umm, you live next to Denise Richards, who used to live with Charlie Sheen. If anything your community has always been a zoo, and they just killed off all the wildcats. Either way, you live in a gated community, and while it might be a hassle and unfair of me to suggest this, but everyone assumes you have the means to move to another gated community.

Asked for further comment, the neighbors said, “If I have to see that heathen or her camera crew one more time on the way to the monocle store, we’ll make sure she never has that moat built around her estate. You can be sure of that.”

In conclusion, no one will ever feel sorry for you when you’re rich and complaining about something innocuous happening inside your ivory tower. I hope your yard workers take an extra twenty minutes next time they are working for pinto beans and burn your house down. Oh, and also? Denise Richards is a fucking twatbag with little to no redeemable value, but it doesn’t make these neighbors any more tolerable.

Entourage is quickly developing the best cast ever from shows that aren’t theirs. First it was Jamie-Lynn Sigler, and now it is Jeffrey Tambor. Looks like Tambor will be playing himself, I didn’t bother to read the article for Sigler, but it would make sense. If so her character on Sopranos will be referenced at hyper-speed.

Alright, I’m starting to tire of the over-saturation of Mad Men, but we feel obligated to inform of any and all news about the series since we are such avid fans. So here goes:

-Mathew Weiner has a five season plan that he doesn’t intend on exceeding. This is generally a good thing, The Wire and The Sopranos both had beginnings and ends in mind when they started out, this is why we put Mad Men in that caliber. Unlike Lost, 24 or even Rescue Me, who both seem to be making it up as they go.

-The second season will premiere on Valentine’s Day in 1962. So, five seasons, each with roughly two years in between seasons, sounds like the final season will take place in 1970 after Woodstock and the tail-end of the hippy-era. I, for one, find that to be a good stopping point.

-According to Weiner, the first season set in 1960 was similar to the year it aired. He warns of more parallelism between 2008 and the second season. He even drops the upcoming presidential election. Which is odd because the Nixon-Kennedy election of 1960, at least in our eyes, is eerily similar to Obama-McCain.

And finally, Peter Bogdonavich — who for whatever reason seems to be a go to voice on all things Sopranos related — wants to make sure no one gets their hopes up or down, and assures us that a Sopranos movie will in all likelihood never happen. We had no idea that it had even been hinted at in the past calendar year, but it’s good to know that something I wasn’t expecting will probably reach my expectations. Whew, that’s a relief.