Grid Effect

Something of a mundane episode of Survivor last night. It was chock full of unintentional bizarre, sexually charged innuendo and scenarios. Probably an attempt by the production team too compensate for the disinteresting game play.

The episode opens with Parvati and Adam chattering back and forth about how validated they feel for lasting longer than Johnathan. Adam even refers to Johnathan as a “Nuisance”. If the updated definition of Nuisance is now: “A person of decent character and wit, who when cornered into a position too turn on his opponent, will do so before his opponent turns on him”, then yeah, Johanthan was a Nuisance. Otherwise, assuming he is still using the term in its traditional context, how is anyone a Nuisance in Survivor?

I suppose if a contestant has no work ethic, drags a team down in challenges and has no redeemable value; then the term would apply. But as far as I could tell, Johnathan more than pulled his weight around camp, and since we are in the individual challenges, he certainly wasn’t dragging anyone down (nor did it appear he was in the team portion of the game)…. I think the simple explanation is Adam and Parvati are self-absorbed sycophants, with no understanding beyond anything that doesn’t directly effect them.

Nothing really happens in between the pre-credits scene and the Reward Challenge (In fact, nothing really happened in the pre-credits scene either, other than Adam and Parvati further pushing my temprement to new found heights).

At RC, the contestants are asked too run through an obstacle course to a mud pit, cling as much mud to their bodies as possible and run back to the starting point with the collected mud (they cannot hold any with their hands) where they’re are buckets placed for each contestant. The goal is to fill up as much mud as possible in the allotted amound of time. The reward is a night at a spa with massages, food and whaever else people do at spas, the three contestants with the most mud in their buckets go on Reward.

It is damn near impossible too tell who is winning, so i’ll just list the results:
Ozzy: 45 lbs.
Parvati: 24 lbs.
Yul: 22.5 lbs
Adam: 22 lbs.
Becky, Sundra: 20 lbs
Since Ozzy’s name was read first, then Adam’s second, my initial reaction was, “how can you be that much worse at this challenge than someone else? There is literally no skill involved”. But as you can tell by the final results, I guess the appropriate question is, how the hell is Ozzy so much better at this particular challenge? Things like swimming, running, puzzle solving, these are activities that the average person would conceivably practice and excel at in everyday American life, and therefore outperform other members of a random collection of people. But, um, no-hands mud gathering? What kind of porn was this guy in, anyways? The discrepancy in totals illustrates that Ozzy clearly has past experience with this. Predictably, he sends Adam to exile.

Back at camp, Sundra laments about the outcome of at RC. Becky reminds her that at least Yul got to go. They discuss Ozzy, and how he is entirely too proficient at challenges, and they seem too agree that voting him off ahead of Adam and Parvati might be the best strategy. I mentioned it a few episodes back, but Ozzy has clearly over exposed himself, and with only six people remaining, he now falls under the category of, “threat”. Becky says, “I think he is a bigger threat then people realize”. I agree with half of this sentiment. He is a threat, but how could anyone not realize it?

On reward, the three take showers and get a massage with hot milk. And I am not sure what there is too say about that. Ozzy says he has never had a massage, well, at least not in the traditional sense. Thank you, thank you, I’m here all night.

Parvati voice overs how charming she needs to be. When her, Ozzy and Yul make their way to a hot tub, she drunkenly blubbers like an idiot, and I guess this constitutes charming for someone like Parvati. Not too sound completely chauvinistic, but Parvati’s charm would increase ten-fold if she never said a word.

I apologize.

Anyways, in the hot tub Parvati strips completely naked along with Ozzy. Yul just sits their expressionless, no word on whether or not he is naked himself, but I can’t imagine being in a hot tub with a porn star and a foxy boxer is really his typical scene, as he is noticeably uncomfortable. But in the midst of his perplexed mind set, he is still studying the landscape, taking into account that Parvati is throwing all caution to the wind, trying to sway Ozzy’s vote. It does seem to be effective, however Ozzy and Parvati are both hammered so it’s hard imagine Parvati has Ozzy smitten after he sobers up. And really, from what we have seen, if you consider Parvati charming, then you are probably lonesome on a suicidal level.

When the three arrive back to camp from reward the following day, Becky has been on pins and needles waiting for Yul to arrive. When they approach the tent her and Sundra are under, Becky snaps at Ozzy and suggests that she and Yul go talk. Its a little transparent and at least Yul, if not Ozzy as well picked up on it. Yul’s comments on returning too camp: “I could tell something was a, um, a little bit tense with Becky.” Its not so much what he said, but how it was stated, like he is borderline afraid of her. It would seem she is like ping’s sister from Seinfeld: An Asian lawyer with a pleasant demeanor until she feels threatened or insulted. To quote Bodie Williams from The Wire: “That woman is what we like too call a dragon lady”.

Becky pleads her case why taking aim at Ozzy at tribal council is the best solution. Yul, probably half-tired of making decisions for everyone, actually delegates to Becky, “If you want to vote him out we can do that”. For some reason, it doesn’t end there. Sundra comes into the fray and they deliberate further, Yul says about Ozzy: “I do not want to go into a final two with Ozzy … The Raro and former Raro tribe members see him as kind of a pure player, he’s not building coalitions, he is playing a straight up game and he’s doing a damn good job of it”.

They also discuss Parvati flirting with Ozzy, Yul states, “she was flirting with him more so than she usually flirts with everyone at reward … I’ve been surprised by how strong she has been … I definitely underestimated her.” While I do not think she is the threat he is making her out to be, I like how Yul is able too acknowledge his perceived shortcomings before it’s too late and concede that maybe he had a lapse in judgement.

They all decide between Parvati’s flirting and her recent moderate success at challenges, along with Ozzy and his penchant for immunity, that they will see how it goes at Immunity Challenge before they determine what to do. So much for that solidarity they had when persuading Johnathan to flip a few weeks ago.

At IC, the challenge is carrying bundles across a balance beam, building a maze with the corresponding pieces, then getting two different balls through the maze by pivoting the maze left and right….

By the time Ozzy wins, Yul had assembled his maze incorrectly, Parvati was still untying her bundles, and the the remaining three contestants (Adam, Becky and Sundra) returned a total of two bundles, with Adam not getting across the balance beam once. So Ozzy foils everyones plans by winning immunity for the third time in the four individual immunity challenges. He is essentially like Terry from last season, but unlike Terry, Ozzy will not choke in F3 if it happens to be a balancing challenge, as evidenced by what just transpired. Everyone looks annoyed.

Challenge is coillecting bundles again by walking them across a balance beam, then creating a maze out of the pieces, then essentially playing marble madness and dropping them down two holes. Yul has two bundles after Ozzy gets his third, and no one else is even close. Yul gets his third while Ozzy is untying puzzle pieces. Its a good challenge. Adam and Sundra do not get a single bundle across. It is essentially Yul and Ozzy. Ozzy starts rolling the ball through the maze, he is clearly going too win and he does so before Yul even puts the puzzle together correctly. He has a target on his back, but clearly it doesn’t matter if he keeps winning challenges. He is essentuially like Terry last season, only difference being, Ozzy isn’t going to slip up in a balance challenge in the F3 like Terry did.

Back from IC, Adam actually confronts Yul and inquires about who is on the chopping block. Yul has the gaul to say, “I like you, if you want to stay, you’ll stay”. Adam calls Yul the puppet master. And, can’t they think of any other authoritarian labels for Yul? Subsequently Yul talks to Parvati, and says he sees Adam as the bigger threat, so she is probably safe. Clearly he is playing both sides of the fence. And I like how Adam and Parvati are throwing each other under the bus for their own vested interests. You know, the same thing the berated Johnathan for doing for four days straight.

Adam and Parvati actually make a decent case to Ozzy to get him to vote off Sundra with them, which is the best option because it is more likely Yul will give Becky the immunity idol.

Yul brings Johnathan the hat he mentioned at last TC. Jeff, for whatever reason is relentless in questioning Yul’s real motives for returning the hat too Johnathan, not so subtly suggesting that maybe he is doing it to curry a favor with the jury. Everyone is quick too mention that whether he will admit it or not, it probably factored into his decision. Yul correctly points out that it serves both purposes, Johnathan asked for the hat so he wanted to return it to him, and yes, it could be potentially help him with the jury, particularly with Johnathan’s vote should he make it to the finals.

What I don’t understand, is who does this hurt exactly? Everyone else in the game had the opportunity to bring it back. Additionally, no one else on the jury would have known who returned the hat, had Jeff not spent five minutes harping on it (And that is five edited Survivor minutes, God only knows how long this lasted); and really its just not a big deal. Clearly Jeff Probst has a rooting interest in this season. After Yul rationally explains his motives behind this incredibly idiotic “controversy”, they immediately switch topics.

Everything else they talk about, and all of Jeffs questions are incredibly lame and unrevealing. They vote… the producers air Yul’s explanation for his vote without showing it, coincidentally he says he underestimated whoever this annonymous person is, and considering that is verbatim what he said earlier about Parvati, it is pretty obvious. So Parvati goes home. Meaning Ozzy doesn’t flip, and it might have been in his own best interest to do so, despite how much it would have bothered me. But I guess it is in tune with his character, he is a strong, somewhat honorable player, not necessarily smart.

In her parting words, Parvati says she could have “worked it” more in the hot tub if she wanted to, which, the only way there could have been more “working it” is if there with some sort of sexual contact, so at least she exhibited some restraint in that regard. She also adds that now she knows she can survive in the wilderness. Alright. With a camera crew and a team of Australian doctors she is right.

The finale (with five people remaining?) is on Sunday with a “big surprise” that everyone kind of already knows about. Back with thoughts on last nights fantastic episode of The Office a little later.