Grid Effect

Well, no one ever said Nip Tuck was about subtlety, and this episode just wanted to make their intentions clear. Hence, the topical in your face title, the overtly sexual Eden and the nun wanting the breast reduction all being packed into one episode.

Remember this is episode two in the three part litmus test for this series, and right now we’re leaning towards axing it. As of now, if we do end up keeping recaps around, the reason will be two-fold: the strike is keeping everything else off the air, and/or the episode next week is somewhat mind-blowing.

The pacing is probably my biggest issue with the series. In a two episode span, Christian has gone from the onset stages of a mid-life crisis, to falling in love with his best friend’s ex-wife, to whoring, to embracing religion. Shit doesn’t need to be happening all the time. At this rate, Christian will have fought in a war, cured cancer and learned to fly before the season is out.

And the turning point from his whoring to his epiphany was remarkably predictable. You mean to tell me that the lecture from the nun was going to coincide with the woman who likes to be fucked back to life subplot? Well I’ll be. Both actions seem fairly harmless and completely unrelated.

This guy is looking commonplace in the mainstream compared to this season’s nonsense.

Sean’s moral crises seem real and much more palpable. The young temptress Eden would be somewhat impossible to deal with, and his solution to marry the hysterical actress (Nip Tuck is really hammering home the point that there are no sane women in SoCal this season) as means to avoid temptation seems like something he would irrationally do. But the plot holes and leaps of logic are just absurd.

For instance, if Eden is regularly sending him provocative text messages, that would serve as more proof than is necessary to condemn her to at least Julia, and they could save their daughter from Eden’s evil clutches. And honestly, how can I still respect Julia or take Olivia seriously if they aren’t taking into consideration the incredibly coincidental timing of Anne’s transformation and self-loathing. The constant speeches from Olivia about the virtue and sincerity of her daughter are impossible to listen to. Just look at Eden’s shrill demeanor in everything she does, that would obviously precede any maternal sensibilities Olivia may have. It would be tolerable if the series presented Olivia’s arguments as blind and unbearable instead of justified or reasonable. But that is what they are doing right now, and it’s almost beyond redemption.

As for Rosie O’Donnell’s return, well, it’s preferable to the role she was rumored to take as the cliched title IX faring high school soccer coach, but it wasn’t what she was last season (I think her episodes are the reason we’re still watching this series). Her hang-gliding accident was shot with all the realism of the Mad Men dog attack on the neighbor’s pigeon. And she just wasn’t as acid-tongued as she was in season four. Not sure if it was intentional, or if I’ve evolved or devolved in the past nine months, but either way, the character just wasn’t as enjoyable. Oliver Platt seemed to replace her as the quirky deliverer of punch lines.

All in all, not their best work. I’m not touching the fake rogue doctor subplot, because it is too absurd for comment. But I will say that it was introduced well. More as a peripheral issue than a predominating one (which it surely will become). For better or worse, it’s about a 1/5 shot that we actually keep this series around.

Tonight: Someone is engaging in more masochistic sex, leading to more re-constructive surgery hijinks. Kimber is back and is still a crack head, no word as to whether or not she’s still a scientologist, I’m guessing no. We preferred it when she was a porn star, as opposed to a manipulative, crack-addled mother.