Grid Effect

Man, it’s shit like this that makes one thankful for football season. For the next couple weeks here, I’m going to try and subside my distaste for broadcast network television and review some pilots this fall. Today we’re looking at The Big Bang Theory and Chuck, we’ll try to get to Journeyman later. I am not too happy about any of this, but they should be easy to criticize, and the writing practically takes care of itself. Sorry for remembering so few names, but other than for the sake of this post, the motives were lacking.

First up, The Big Bang Theory, it centers on two guys walking around or sitting around their apartment discussing the scientifically trivial or their new neighbor, whom they’re all tongue-tied around because she’s an attractive blond. You know its going to be somewhat (or extremely) formulaic when they clarify that despite living together, they are, indeed, heterosexual. Homophobia, you crazy mensch, is there any mediocrity that you do not attempt to remedy?

Outside of two of the geeks friends that visit periodically, and an appearance from attractive neighbor’s ex-boyfriend (who steals the two geeks pants when they attempt to retrieve her television), this is your show. In short, I was tired of the gimmick before they rolled the credits.

Every actor in the pilot is familiar, but I can’t put any names to faces. All the jokes revolve around stereotypical geek or ditzy blond behavior. Hence why she is more oblivious of their awkwardness than seems humanly possible. The petty technical math debates are tedious and boring. The one, Kenny (I think) is entirely too socially inept and unwilling to adjust that it makes him hard to sympathize with, not to mention he’s walking around in his pajamas. The guy is giving a decent performance, but its so one note and relentless that at the eleven minute mark we’ve already decided to not watch this beyond the pilot.

The girl is too dense for words, the personality difference between her and the other two is too vast, meaning if they invited her over for lunch (as they did), she would have been conjuring up an excuse to leave within two minutes tops, not asking to shower at their apartment (as she did). There also isn’t any explanation why the two geeks would be friends with one another. They’re both geeks, but one is so much more socially ambitious than the other that I’d hope they eventually give some back story. Either way, the premise is so washed up and the humor is so repetitive that we probably won’t be around to find out. Is that shortsighted and unfair? Probably, but being shortsighted and unfair tends to save us a lot of time on writing.

At least it was only a half hour, because the only thing I was asking myself during Chuck is, “why the hell is this a full hour long?” It appears that this is an unpopular opinion, but while this show wasn’t nearly as detestable as Big Bang Theory, it certainly wasn’t something we were enamored with. Like, in any way.

For starters, The inconsistencies with Chuck (lead character) are abundant, and annoying. He dropped out of Stanford and lives with his sister, who’s a doctor, apparently. He seems to suffer a little anxiety when at a party where they explain the premise, but unlike the other two characters in Big Bang, he displays a certain degree of social aptitude and normalcy that contradicts his lifestyle, until he goes off on a tangent about his ex-girlfriend. His Brother-in-law or whatever (could be boyfriend to sister) is a complete meat head, essentially an aging frat boy scampering around saying things like “not awesome” or “awesome”. He’s a doctor as well, meaning these doctors are all of the Grey’s Anatomy variety (Has anyone working on these shows ever even met a doctor?).

Chuck’s former college roommate who stole his girlfriend (and apparently the sole reason for Chuck’s apathy five years later) is now a highly trained assassin for some government agency. We are introduced to him leaping off buildings and what have you, it seems like he’s going to be a pivotal part of this series, but dies after sending an email to Chuck, that somehow uploads numerous Government secrets into his brain. Yes, I’m serious.

After watching that action sequence, the setting and tone of the series is dull. Like a cross between Life of Brian and 24, two shows existences that I’m publicly opposed to. This series is created by Josh Schwartz, so maybe replacing Life of Brian with OC would be more apt. Either way, the reaction is not a positive one. All of the technical aspects of this pilot, combined with the theme song (that anxiety inducing “bong-with-the-bong-di bang-da-bang-boogie” track) that is in every “hip” movie and television show nowadays that this series plays ad nauseam, I was ready to switch over to the Monday night game.

Some of the scenes I was put off by: there was a really weird interlude where Chuck films a girl-ballerina dancing in the store because her dad forgot to put digital film in camcorder at her recital. The entire scene seemed like a contrivance put in place for the female agent (who was looking on and Chuck was unaware of her at the time) to see what a great guy Chuck is. There was an odd scene with Chuck dancing with the agent (whom he still believed to be nothing more than a date) where he’s all lightheaded or something, and she is impaling people with sharp objects she pulls off her person without him noticing.

It’s fucking bizarre, and hence the 24 reference. The show requires me to suspend too much disbelief to take seriously. And if its not completely offbeat like the two aforementioned scenes, it’s a textbook cliche (is that redundant?). Like, for example, a scene atop a parking garage with guns drawn between the CIA, the NSA, and Chuck figuring out what’s happening to him as everyone goes full disclosure to avoid any bloodshed. This is spliced with scenes of a military lecturer who’s about to be assassinated and Chuck somehow sees all of these plans through the information that has been downloaded in his brain. He’s like the male equivalent of the robot or whatever from Weird Science. I am guessing by episode seven of this series it all turns out to be some sort of conspiracy orchestrated by the white house.

There are a few lame running gags, including the one about Chuck’s best friend/coworker having a crush on his married to a fellow doctor sister. He was by far my favorite character throughout the hour, the only time I laughed was when Chuck was walking towards his boss to put in his notice for a promotion with some dramatic “showdown” type music playing, and we discover its Chuck’s friend that has turned up a stereo in the store, when he turns the music off. It even made me look past the fact that Chuck was applying for a promotion immediately after discovering he’s now working on call with the CIA.

Chuck is in deep with nary a confidante

With a series like Chuck, the appeal is understandable. In the same vein as Heroes or 24 or Lost, they seem to substitute quality acting and writing, and logic; with lightheartedness and physical attractiveness. This has all the makings of a series that will score a large Nielsen rating, but it’s just not for us, despite our favoritism for NBC over their three primary competitors.

Back with some links tomorrow, maybe a word or two about some other new series’.