Grid Effect

Happy election day! Or wait, I guess this will only be a good day for roughly half of you. I wouldn’t much worry about it, whoever wins they will quickly become a grave disappointment as the economy continues to sag and tensions increase with every Asian country imaginable. Look on the bright side, at least if we fall into a depression you won’t have to go to work. I think it’s time we began to ponder what a depression would look like in the 21st century. Are we all going to be boxed up in our own Hooverville’s (McCain/Obama/Bush-ville’s, whatever we decide to dub it), huddled around our battery powered laptops for warmth? We all hope it doesn’t come to that of course, but I think an illustration of such a scenario would actually be funny. Sorry.

Anyhow, between waiting in line for what I can only imagine will be a couple hours to vote, work, eating and whatever else a normal person does to occupy the day, we won’t have time for much more than one post, and that one post will have to be mailed in, so here are some links. My apologies. Again. We’ll try to get to the Life and Times of Tim recap later tonight.

You may have heard that King of The Hill was getting canceled after this season by FOX. Here is some speculation wondering if ABC will “rescue” the Mike Judge animated series. Call me crazy, but if a series has been on the air for thirteen years, and the network decides it has had its run and wants to fill the timeslot with something new, is it really being “canceled” in the classical sense? Isn’t it just coming to an end? Thirteen years is a damn long time, not everything can be The Simpsons. My guess is Judge and the FOX executives have some sort of mutual agreement that its time to close the curtain on a successful run, or he has an open door for any other projects he thinks might benefit the network. In short, I wouldn’t expect to see this moved to ABC anytime soon.

You know television has become too important in this culture when every television critic is comparing Barack Obama’s campaign and presumptive win to every black television character from the 80’s. We still have yet to find an article comparing him to Uncle Phil, but if he wins, once Obama puts on some weight from the stress of leading the free world, we’ll certainly see one. …And just like when Will was taking speed to keep himself up at night in order to study but Carlton ended up accidentally OD’ing on what he thought was Vitamin E, Wall St. went into overdrive and completely collapsed in on itself, with Main St. being the primary victim. What did President Obama do? Just like Uncle Phil, he took back his season tickets to the Clippers.

Sorry, Heidi. If you weren't married maybe someone would give a shit if you left.

Since everything today is related to the election, why not this site? Reportedly Heidi Klum along with her disfigured and content to not work husband “Seal” (quotations because that’s not his real name) are planning to move out of the country should McCain win the presidency. Unlike all the rejects who claimed they would do the same in 2004 if Bush won, they actually have the means to do so. And despite me thinking that is completely absurd (considering democrats used to love McCain), they are well within their rights and I applaud them for sticking to their principals. No, what bothers me is the self-importance of it all, like they are giving us an ultimatum. “My candidate didn’t win, so I am taking my ball and going home”. What a pair of fucking idiots.

Roger Ebert is not pleased with his replacement. And if you have seen his replacement in action, you can understand why. Watching the new At The Movies is like listening to the two sycophants walking out of the theater spouting off their knee-jerk reactions to everything they just saw. It doesn’t feel professional or intelligent or particularly relevant, and the only reason I can think that they felt compelled to replace Ebert and Roeper with these two is that they’re “more attractive” than their predecessors. Which is yet another reason to hate the entertainment industry, even for those who critique it looks sue-proceed articulacy.

And finally, Chad L. Coleman, who played Cutty on The Wire and was last seen bagging groceries because no one in Hollywood watches that series because they are too self-absorbed to watch something produced in Baltimore, Maryland; has earned a role on a series from the creators of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. As you can imagine we couldn’t be more excited for this. Usually Wire alums take roles for shitty cop shows on broadcast networks, with this it wouldn’t even be necessary for us to seek it out.

Back later tonight.