Grid Effect

In the spirit of South Park being a heaping pile of random garbage, we’re going to do something similar here today with our links. What I mean is, we’re going to post some links before we get to our South Park recap later today. I think it’s for the best if we pay as little attention as possible to last night’s episode.

Diane Farr, still best known for playing the only non-cliched female character on Rescue Me, has landed a role on Parenthood to juggle with her recurring role on Californication. I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what Parenthood is other than an upcoming hour long series on NBC, and Californication I only recognize as yet another inexplicably overrated Showtime series, so I’m not sure why I care about Diane Farr’s career path, as we seem to write about it more frequently than any other actor. We probably saw her in a Skinemax porn or something when we’ve been unable to drop the infatuation. To this day I still have a thing for Salt-’n-Pepa.

In an interview with GQ, Leno claims that after David Letterman’s heart surgery, he reached out to him by way of a card expressing his respect and admiration for the CBS late night host. This seems like an odd time to mention any of this, especially in such a glib context. But I can understand where both parties would be coming from. Letterman had just gotten out of heart surgery, and while I’m sure he could have appreciated the card from Leno, responding to it wasn’t exactly the priority. Who responds to get well cards, anyways? Leno, on the other hand, went out of his way to pen what sounds like a rather lengthy screed to someone he has a rather…unusual relationship with. Maybe he wasn’t expecting an immediate response, but one would have been enough to placate the man. I mean, if you’re on the outs with someone and they reach out like that, how else is Leno supposed to interpret non-responsiveness? In conclusion, late night talk show hosts are fifteen year-old girls.

Heidi Klum is pregnant with her fourth child. Yes, you read that right, she’s had three children and still looks like the proverbial wet dream. Man, talk about elevating expectations for every expecting mother alive. If you’re in your second trimester, I have to imagine the last thing you want you or your husband seeing is a picture of Heidi Klum in the past couple years. For example, this is what most women look like while pregnant, and to the right is what Heidi Klum looked like after pumping out three spawn. I think it’s safe to assume that she’s a cyborg or alien life form. Either that, or she has a remarkably efficient plastic surgeon. The plausible deniability is working her for me as I pretend to give a shit whether or not she’s had work done.

Rod Blagojevich, who most of you would have forgotten about by now if it wasn’t for his preposterously ethnic last name, is scheduled to go on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! First off, uh, no you’re not. You’re a embattled, corrupt former Governor who made headlines only when a senator from the same state was elected president and you attempted to auction off his seat. Secondly, is this what qualifies as celebrity now? I guess it’s no different than Scott Peterson murdering his wife, then everyone referring to it as a “celebrity trial”. I generally don’t follow all of this stuff, but when someone first asked me about the Scott Peterson trial, my reaction upon deciding I didn’t recognize the name was, “Is he an author or something?” The response was, “Nah, he’s just some guy.” Congratulations, Blagojevich, you just made me compare you to a man who was convicted of murdering his wife. You’re basically a Godfather character at this point.

A New York Observer piece profiling Woody Allen, Larry David and their upcoming movie Whatever Works. I have no idea how this is going to turn out, Woody Allen for me are always either really, really effective or really, really inept. I’ve never watched a Woody Allen movie and been ambivalent about it (which I suppose is a testament to his film-making). But if it lands Woody Allen with a cameo on Curb, I really don’t give a shit either way.

In an interview with the Onion AV Club, Will Arnett is asked if he’s doing too many GOB Bluth like roles. I’m going to go ahead and say no, because if that were the case I probably would have enjoyed something he’s been in since Arrested Development. Actually, I can’t lie to you fine people, other than interviews with Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel I don’t think I’ve bothered to watch anything he’s been in since AD. He’s great in those interviews though. I’m sorry, but for movies like Let’s Go To Prison and Blades of Steel
I’m not exactly rushing out to the theater to hand my money over for.

So it appears that The Office is approaching a hundred episodes and in honor of that milestone the cast wore Scranton shirts to some party. Or something. I don’t know, I imagine when you get into entertainment news your expecting to partake in some inane tasks, but don’t you really have to reevaluate how you cover the entertainment industry, if not quit your job altogether, if you’re reporting that a bunch of people wore the same t-shirts to a social outing? And yes, I am aware of the irony of me relaying the news, but it’s in jest, so I don’t think it qualifies. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

And finally, Will Ferrell will appear on an episode of Man vs. Wild set in North Sweden. And because everyone we seem to associate with seems to enjoy this show except for us, this seems like a good career move. Not only is it a novel idea ripe for comedic potential, it will also demand that he goes beyond his aggressive, batshit crazy schtick and expand his horizons. I mean, he can’t just frantically scream in this setting and have that be the extent of his cameo, can he? I’m sure he can’t.

South Park recap, most likely after work.