Grid Effect

While we understand the motivation to label the Survivor veterans “Favorites” (namely, it makes for a catchy title), it doesn’t actually entail any sort of logic. Just because you have participated in something before or for a longer period of time, doesn’t necessarily imply that you are better at it. Dirk Nowitzki has been playing basketball for a few more years than LeBron James, but he is clearly the inferior talent.

Still, we like some of the people they brought back. Their interaction with some of the unfamiliar contestants will be interesting to see how people respond to them. We can’t say we’re familiar with all of them, but definitely the majority. And we’ll try to provide some insight along with the dick jokes.

Look at how organized! That’s how you know they’ve done this before.

Amanda
The amazonian beauty queen from Montana is back. You’ll recognize her from the dismal, much maligned China season that just ended in December. We’re glad to see her back though since she was grouped with such a ridiculous cast, she’ll either be evenly or overly matched going into this based on her performance last season. She has a pet horse though, which is somewhat obnoxious, but since she is from Montana we’ll ignore the fact that she currently lives in LA.

Ami
The barista with ice water in her veins. If she wasn’t so authoritarian, she probably could have done walked away with the million during Vanuatu. She is a threat, but we’ll see if anyone here other than Eliza is as easily manipulated as her female alliance was in her rookie season. And yes, this is the same Ami that we referenced in the earlier post, if she can last until the merge, playing that female solidarity card could be useful.

Cirie
Something of a hanger-on during her stint in the Panama season. She had a few pivotal strategical moves and certainly made it a lot further than anyone would have thought after coming within a short hair of being the first person eliminated. This was during what was probabl the most forgettable season to date in which Aras won the whole shebang. Remember him and Terry? The guy with all the analytical and physical skill versus the popular younger opponent, and the latter ended up knocking off the former during the last challenge, because the former had the immunity idol but failed to make any strategical plays with it? Yeah, that was her season.

Eliza
From the gender-aligned Vanuatu season we saw maybe two episodes of (we had to wait for the following season to actually begin to give a shit about this show). From what we could gather, Eliza was obnoxious, spoiled, entitled and divisive. She should be classified neither as a favorite to win the game nor a crowd favorite, but here she is in all her glory. All thirty pounds of her. She was one of Ami’s loyal foot soldiers for the majority of their time in Vanuatu, and we expect her to be the same here.

James
The over-sized gravedigger from last season whom everyone remembers infamously neglecting to play one of two immunity idols with only three tribal councils remaining. This guy doesn’t exactly take the crab out of crab soup, but he brings an otherworldly element to the game, one that’s as dense as it is physically imposing. We went all through last season with really wavering opinions about James, he has at times come off as boorish and shortsighted, but after his departure he was nothing but gracious and affable (though still somewhat boorish). We expect him to play a sharper social game this time around.

Jonathan
This is the same Jonathan that we referenced in the post earlier today. For as well as he played the hand he was dealt in Cook Islands, we still remember him most vividly for his “This is a game, there are no bad guys in monopoly line”. This season was top heavy with talent, and was also the infamous racially divided seasons that had everyone all riled up for about forty hours, and incidentally gave us three great contestants in Jonathan, Yul and Ozzy. Speaking of which…

Ozzy
The baddest, leanest, strongest, most versatile contestant we’ve ever seen in challenges. He makes everyone else look one-dimensional. We’re not sure about his entire ultra hippie vibe back here in civilization, he seems like the type who’ll eventually end up on a commune somewhere. But his desired lifestyle is ideal for Survivor. If there is anyone who can be entirely self-sufficient in this herd, it is Ozzy.

Parvati
Appropriately her last name is shallow, this is the same foxy boxer from the Cook Islands season, along with the two above candidates. She didn’t leave nearly the impression of the other two, and we’re not exactly sure what her strengths are, but we’re not sure if she has any real weaknesses either. Sure, she isn’t ideal for a puzzle challenge, but she never struck us as the last person you would want up there. Of course, we could be remembering things wrong. Anyhow, with two fellow Cook Island alums, she will at least have some allies.

Yau-Man
One of the nicest, easiest going, strategic contestants we can recall. He put his trust in “Dreamz” during the Fiji season, and that turned around to bite him in the ass, but watching him and Earl dice through the Alex & Companies alliance that season was something to beholden. The only strategic challengers we see within his alliance are…umm, Jonathan. Maybe Ami. Assuming he isn’t targeted and manages to make friends quickly, he should sustain a decent run.

Johnny Fairplay
We didn’t watch this season, but we know all about the “mother has cancer” play that he worked to a tee. While we find the move morally reprehensible, there is something to be said for someone so indifferent to humanity that he’s willing to disgrace everyone around him for the potential gain of a few dollars. If nothing else, you have to take several precautionary measures in dealing with him, which means he’ll definitely be a scapegoat the first time they lose an immunity challenge.

The difference between this set of contestants versus the “Fans”, is that everyone here has a past that everyone will most likely be familiar with. With all these pre-set notions flying about and circling over everyone’s head, we’re not exactly sure who aligns with whom, and so forth. Our predictions for a successful male and female candidate:
Jonathan
Amanda

Enjoy the premiere tonight, needless to say we never expect much from them, but were patient with Survivor, probably to our own detriment. However, if this season doesn’t improve on the last, we’re probably done with this show as well. We won’t quit on it before the finale, mainly because it’s a Survivor season and things can change for the better on a dime. But if there is more hogwash such as someone like Todd winning, or if there is as much James adulation here as there was in China, or generically comical special effects, then we’ll have to close the curtain on the only watchable reality show around.