Grid Effect

Well, we’d like to cordially disagree with that title. As this has been the worst Survivor season we have partaken in since we adopted it as appointment television. And that in part, is why we never rewatched the clip show. Yes, sorry to break it to those who may have enjoyed it, but the season has been to bland to do any more reminiscing.

If you want the short end of what it consisted of: Todd and Amanda had a previous off-camera agreement to align, though we kind of gathered that much on our own. James was always something of a forceful prick, despite the earlier favorable editing. Courtney was always insufferable…and there have never been any exceptions to that rule. And people ate weird things (namely JR) in the throws of desperation. Ultimately, the only thing we really enjoyed was Todd’s impersonations of several of his fellow castaways, but even that came with the additive sting of being from Todd.

This guy, I swear to God, was a contestant on this show.

Really, this clip show probably wasn’t worst than any of its predecessors. But this season has been like an interpretive display of Sopranos subtext. In other words, shit happens, both good and bad, yet nobody and nothing changes. Virtually every contestant sans Todd, Amanda and James has had valid reason to jump ship and has failed to follow through (there are entirely too many examples to run through). We still have the same nonsensical alliances and the same patsies obliging the same power players, with really neither rhyme nor reason. And at this point, it’s just redundant.

We’re (obviously) going to see this one to the bitter end, but we only have four more eliminations left, James still has both idols, and everyone still checks with Todd about everything. According to the previews, Amanda might shake things up a bit, but we’re still skeptical. Oh, and we’ve now had three weeks of previews (the week before this TC, the week of it, and the week of the clip show) for this “twist” at tribal council. Three weeks. Unless someone wrestles a panda bear to the ground and eats it, I have to say that the hype was vehemently unwarranted.

So brace yourselves, for one of three series’ this website still follows (the other two being Nip Tuck and FNL). If things aren’t redirected tonight — given that right now, the alliance with an alliance is three members strong, and one more booted contestant brings us to six left, taking away the majority vote — we’re expecting a wholly unsatisfying ending, with either Todd or James being rewarded the million. And really, that isn’t the worst thing that could happen, that honor belongs to Courtney going home with seven figures before taxes. As of now, the only actual likable remaining contestant is Erik, and he’s a long shot at the moment, so we’re probably going to bitch regardless.

Happy viewing, everyone.