Grid Effect

I suppose now is a suitable time to confess that we’re not going too get to any of the new series on ABC this week. Despite our best efforts to watch television we otherwise would have no interest in watching, we were negligent and opted for a movie last night. And now find ourselves short of available free time. On the other hand, The Lookout was damn good. If your looking for some other film recommendations, might I suggest that, along with King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters (if your fortunate enough for it to be playing in your city) and Eastern Promises, those are far better ways to spend your idle time than Carpoolers and Cavemen.

To the recap we go…

Not much change from episode one to episode two. Some people won. Some people lost. For the most part the people who won were virtually ignored. These episodes are just cannon fodder for the actual strategic and dramatic elements of the game . This time we were privy to a tool bag former model named Dave who’s anything but an Adonis, and a she-male wrestler named Ashley with tits that could inhabit a smurf village for all I know. That was the basic storyline. And since we found neither of these people likable or entertaining or relevant, nor do we think either of them have much longevity in them, we were kind of disinterested. At least in the first episode you have the benefit of renewal. A new setting, being introduced to the contestants, etc. But this? This is just more of the same without that benefit.

We got a bit of a subplot with the winning team. Early in the episode a three person alliance is formed between the three of the more bland contestants in the game. Aaron, Amanda and some guy that claimed to be a stewart in the first episode to the poker playing guy. It seems ill-advised, given that there are still eight people in the game. But they assume they can probably find two people willing to piggyback them without revealing their alliance until they feel comfortable doing so. Or until it is obvious.

Speaking of poker playing guy: Jean-Robert (JR), is alienating his teammates with his idle behavior around camp. But claims its all a part of his strategy. Whatever, dude. I know several professional poker players. And you know why they’re professional poker players? Because they’re fucking lazy, and don’t want to work. Do I blame them? Of course not. But their poker skills were refined and developed, not God given.

The challenge was one of those gratuitous, roll around in a puddle of muddy water and have all of the contestants yank off each other garments while attempting to roll a ball through one of two equidistant points. Fei-Long, the winning tribe from last week, wins this one in a landslide. I don’t believe we even see the half of the court Zhan-Hu wants to be in (Fei-Long’s territory, if you will). They get to steal one member of the other team until the next challenge, and said person is given a clue that he/she is to read by him/herself. They choose Jaime, the fetching blond coed. Sorry.

Dave’s insistence on building a water block proves worthwhile when the rain causes the camp to flood. He is really proud of himself, which is all well and good, but why not just build the fire on higher elevation. I mean, I’m not privy to all their conditions, nor am I a forest ranger, but this does seem logical.

Jaime discovers the clue she received is actually directions for a clue to the whereabouts of the Hidden Immunity Idol (HII) that she must offer to one member of the other team. They bicker in front of her, it means nothing this early. She ultimately gives it to Leslie, the Jesus freak, not based on a shared faith or any other non-spiritual bond, but because from what she has been able to ascertain, she believes Leslie is the weakest link. Poor woman. I’m if in the same position, I’d prefer if someone just came out and made their disdain for me known.
Anyhow, she immediately tells Todd the stewart, and he conveys what we’re all thinking, Leslie is codependent. Or something along those lines.

At the Immunity Challenge, they need to smash through two walls with a giant wooden battering ram then solve a puzzle. Essentially every other challenge, but in China. The difference in this challenge is essentially James, the physically daunting gravedigger. The guy’s a total hoss and I cannot believe he isn’t playing a professional sport of some kind. Fei-Long ends up winning immunity, leaving Zhan-Hu to banish yet another cast member. Not surprising when you consider James probably accounts for the strength of at least two members from any tribe in Survivor history, much less this emaciated cluster of deficients.

I’m picturing a series of 50 and up white men sitting with Les Moonves cackling their asses off at this being played on their high-def flat panel.

Dave the model owns up to the loss when they arrive back at camp. He tells the tribe to blame him and not themselves because he stumbled a bit. They posture for the camera a bit and its left pretty undecided as to who’s going home: Ashley or Dave.

At Tribal Council (TC), everyone keeps quiet set aside those who are directly spoken to, and even when they are they remain as neutral as possible, so goes these matters. Ashley complains about Davce being defensive. Well, you are attacking him. What exactly is he supposed to do? Ashley and Dave are entirely passive-aggressive going after each other, until Michelle speaks up about not enjoying the experience. A lack of food and success will do that to you, then she gets all snippy and I just feel embarrassed for her because it seems so unprovoked. Dave is at least respectable when voting her out, she calls him “Zoolander”. Speaking of which, the votes go as such:
Ashley
Dave
Ashley
Ashley
Ashley
For whatever reason, Michelle is in tears. Wait, I know why, because she just humiliated herself for no reason. Well hold on, she voted Ashley out. So she spoke out against the majority yet voted with them? Color me flummoxed.

Anyway, is the outing agreeable? Well, there isn’t really a sound argument for anyone else. Even Dave. His tribemates are complaining about his assertiveness. But it seems like we’re at the point with Zhan-Hu that it is necessary. He never made food a focal point, which others wanted to prioritize, and they probably should have. But what was stopping them from setting up their own fire and producing their own sustenance? If Ashley and Michelle and whoever else had taken the initiative, not only might they have won the immunity challenge, even if they didn’t the rest of the tribe would probably be so grateful for the food and so tired of Dave’s pestering ways that they would have kept her around. But since everyone is seemingly reliant on the person Ashley wanted gone, well, that makes the task a little more challenging.