Grid Effect

Pre-credits, we get everyone from Fang returning for TC, and everyone pretty much just echoes the same bullshit talking points while Randy laments the idiocy of everyone in his tribe. I’m not inclined to completely disagree, but there is being realistic, and cynicism just for cynicism’s sake. Randy seems to prefer the latter.

Back from commercial, everyone is pissed at Randy for even mentioning that they only eat two meals a day as opposed to the standard three. Of those displeased, GC is most notably so, who throws the leader question at him and they argue about Randy’s status as leader. It’s kind of tiresome, given that it isn’t really necessary, and it creates needless friction over what is basically nothing more than a title. It would be like you and I arguing over what time zone I should remind reader’s of shows: it is completely superfluous.

At Kota, there might as well be a a rainbow going over there camp. Althought some of the women, especially Kelly and Paloma, kind of hate Ace. He is just a tad pompous so I can see where this dislike is coming from. Need I remind you, this is the guy who explained how privileged his life has been to date, so I think I kind of hate him to.

The challenge is the one where they have to rip an opposing team members clutches from a poll and drag them across a randomly placed line. This is the most like torture porn this show ever gets. If they disemboweled people after they crossed the line it would be almost verbatim Hostel. Kota gets Dan across the line while GC and someone else fail to even get Ace off his poll.

Randy and the track star rip Paloma off the poll to get the second point while Randy screams “Your done” at her. He might as well followed that with a “bitch” for good measure, just for the benefit of anyone who hasn’t figured out that he is kind of a creep. Crystal and one of the generic guys drag Ace’s bald, flipping body across the line to take home their first challenge. I’m sorry if that seemed somewhat incoherent, but I didn’t really watch any of that to closely and everyone looks identical except for Bob, Crystal, Ace & Paloma.

Fang is ecstatic they finally won a challenge and are somewhat united, should someone tell them its because they have unequivocally the strongest woman ever to play Survivor? Nah, you can probably let them have this moment, even with the enormous asterisk next to it.

Kota is not even remotely dispirited, but apparantly having munchkin Paloma attempt to hold onto the poll was a litmus test. And she failed. Because she’s supposed to be able to outmuscle people twice her size, that’s the tryout if you want to be a member of Kota.

At exile, Sugar is reading clues and is almost certain to get farther in the her hunt than Dan. Of course, she gets eaten alive by bugs while an elephant may or may not bear down on her, it is tough to tell with their regular bullshit editing. Somehow this has made her reflect on her father’s passing, which totally makes sense. Anyhow, she finds the next clue that leads her to a tree with another clue, and really after the first clue, the rest are just directions. The entire thing is kind of anticlimatic because the background music indicates that she is going to find the idol. She walks across a creek and it is taped to the back of a tree. ZOMG she found it! We would wonder about Dan, but we can’t recall if the first clue he received was identical to the one she got. It probably was. We are officially wondering.

At Kota, whom we now assume are going to lose the immunity challenge as well for how much camera time they are getting, Ace and Bob have apparently formed an alliance that Bob isn’t terribly in to, and Corrine goes to Bob to clue him in on the alliance she has had behind his back for the past five days or so. He would be wise to second guess all her bullshit, but it appears he might have a thing for brunettes. As do I, Bob. As do I.

At IC, they are sliding into a lake, collecting tiles and using them to solve…wait for it…wait for it….a puzzle! But not just a puzzle, a math puzzle! And a flag will raise to indicate the winner. God, I think I now know why people who have watched this show from the first season are so annoyed with its lack of spontaniety. Holy Christ Crystal gets a huge lead on Kota, Corrine regains the lead going against Suzie. We are kind of not paying attention to any of this because Corrine just looks un-fucking-believable in a two piece. Bob has great aesthetic tastes. It’s just a shame we read shit like this and it completely ruins the view.

Speaking of attractive Survivor contestants...who aren't soulless twats.

Fang actually gets to the puzzle while Bob is still working on it for Kota. Ken gets through it quickly and after guessing wrong at first, manages to solve it for the win. Good, we don’t want to see one team wipe the floor with the other, though Ken really deserves all the credit for the win here. So the notion that the tribes aren’t as lopsided as they once seemed is a bit misleading. But we will say this, Bob should have to lose the buff as bowtie shtick until he reclaims his mental superiority over everyone else in the game. People that lose puzzle challenges to professional video game players haven’t earned the right to wear a bowtie and have it be considered cool in an ironic way.

At Kota, we are now a little more dispirited and Sugar plays it coy enough that no one expects her to have the idol. Because she is blond, I guess. I’ll never understand the preset notions that people have on this show. Though she tells Ace, because you have to tell someone. They are essentially attached at the hip at this point and you know she wouldn’t be able to keep it to herself.

Paloma goes to tell Corrine that Ace thinks he is running the tribe and that he plans to take Sugar to F2, like that is something you can pre-ordain this early and have to prepare for. Anyhow, she takes it to heart and goes to Charlie and they strategize, leaving it at they should get rid of Ace before he gains any momentum. Corrine is smart and damn attractive, but the more we get to know her the more we’ll probably dislike her. Right now, we won’t be surprised with whichever way the vote swings.

At TC, everyone fingers Ace as the supposed leader and everyone and their mother voices displeasure with his attitude. Paloma is kind of passive-aggresive most of the time but makes a point of voicing her opinion. Naturally she looks concerned, though she might look like that all the time. Because as far as we can tell, she has. They show Ace and Paloma voting for each other and we are fairly certain the pendelum is swinging Paloma’s way. The rest read as such:

Paloma, Ace, Ace, Paloma, Paloma (probably decides it), Paloma, Paloma.

Poor girl, she seemed sweet. I would like to know who that second vote for Ace was from. I imagine Corrine or Kelly. Either way he is probably next to go if Corrine campaigns hard enough, as she seems to have influence over at least four other people at camp.

In her parting words, Paloma is gracious but vindictive towards Ace. It was probably in their best interests to vote her out, if not Kelly (She was the second vote for Ace).

Next week: it looks like Fang ends up losing again since they don’t even mention Kota in the promo.

Mad Men and It’s Always Sunny recaps later today.