Grid Effect

Didn’t write as we were watching last night, so we are going to continue the format we used last week and that is just a brief synopsis.

Well that was about as inconsequential of a Survivor episode as I could possibly imagine. No new alliances were formed, none were broken or solidified or even seem to be in jeopardy. All we saw in terms of strategy was Ace sitting around leering at everyone from afar as GC began to meltdown. That was it, the was the extent of any strategy we saw.

Now of course, there could have been more. When they found out Sugar had the immunity idol (which they all seemed to expect anyways, because she wore it all over her face. You can only be so coy until it is transparent), they should have taken the opportunity to vote her out. Right before they cut away from the conversation about it, Matty muttered something along the lines of “We should vote out GC” and then they cut to them walking to tribal council. And roughly five minutes later they indeed, voted him out. So either something else happened off camera, or Matty is the unsuspecting puppet master of the sullen Fang tribe. That is when you know you’re in dire straits, when you are letting the Dan Cortese of Survivor dictate your tribal councils.

But why would Matty or anyone else abide by this logic? GC takes a boat ride, decides he hates his environment so much that he wants to leave, they discover Sugar has the idol and as far as they all know, she’s under the impression they think she is too stupid to find it; then vote out GC because….he’s weak at challenges? Because Sugar is clearly such at world beater during the competition phase of the game. She really showed Fang a thing or two about giving audible directions to a blind man.

Anyhow, I really hope something is taking place off camera, because more so than losing any challenges, this tribe is an absolute mess when it comes to determining who to get rid of. We thought they had turned the tide when they got rid of Jacquie last week over Kelly (If they hadn’t, and GC still decided to quit, they would be staring down the barrel at a 3-3 split instead of a 4-2 advantage), but that appears to be an anomaly. Or maybe this ouster was an anomaly. Whichever way you want to spin it, I have absolutely no faith in Fang to make the right decision.

Over at Kota, pretty much nothing is happening. Or nothing that we are privy to. They have a lot of food, seem to get lucky when it matters, and Randy is probably the most likable asshole to ever appear on reality television. That loss wasn’t entirely Sugar’s fault. During the last play, when Randy screamed “Ace, Left!” and he actually bit on it, that was mostly on Ace for not being able to detect Randy’s from Sugar’s voice. But also it was partly on Randy for taking advantage of Ace’s Pavlovian like instincts. With any luck he can finagle his way into their alliance or stumble across an immunity idol to extend what his circumstances currently dictate will be a short stay.

You might recognize these people.

Oh, and Dan is like the Pete Campbell of this season. If you watch both shows you’ll know what I mean.

As far as challenges go, Kota took both of them as has happened three times now (we’d say except for last week, but Kota totally fleeced Fang on selecting new tribes). On the first challenge it was simply embarrassing that they couldn’t take advantage of Ace preventing any fruit through the second wall until they heeded Marcus’ advice and began throwing two at a time. You would think this would still slow them down, but Crystal — whose ungodly bad at everything that isn’t running in a straight line it would seem — didn’t seem to stop a single piece of fruit from being flung from Marcus. That was basically the story there. Kota ended up winning by two full pineapples.

The second challenge, while we have never seen anything like it (we didn’t watch the first Africa season), was so contrived and basically purely luck based that it didn’t surprise us that Kota won even after they stopped one of their own points from going in. Seeing Ace brow beat Sugar some more was…interesting. Yet depressing. They have an odd dynamic. It’s like watching Secretary all over again.

I will say this, it is going to be extremely agonizing if she ends up giving her idol to him. Everyone championing the girls doing the same thing to Erik last season, will probably be the first to call Ace a misogynist when he does it this season. So that will be entertaining. Personally, we just cringe everytime someone does something so idiotic on national television. We can understand the motives from Erik and even Sugar if she does something similar, but the bottom line is you never give away the idol if you have it in your possession. And once people find out you have it, you have to play it sooner rather than later
because you are now a target.

Anyhow, we’ve pretty much maxed out this episode as far as there being anything to say about it. We do not much give a shit about them being across a river from an elephant or Matty’s asinine explanation of its serenity, though it was pretty bad ass how the elephant wasn’t posing a threat, but certainly was making it clear not to trifle with him. In fact, nevermind, this was probably the highlight of the episode. What can I say, the bar was low.

Back with an Office recap later.