Grid Effect

This was an odd episode if not an enjoyable one. Since we didn’t see much in the way of plot development that seems to be a minority opinion, but at least we saw one of the more pathetic or heartfelt farewells ever, depending on either your level of gullibility or suspicion of Ami.

It’s a shame she had to leave too. Between the crab hunting and the intimidation of Erik with the machete, I really thought we might see the first ever Survivor castration. If her tears were even remotely sincere they seemed more out of anger than genuine sadness. But there was an abnormal amount of knife play in this episode. Seriously, I felt like I was watching 300 again.

As opposed to eating like rats, Airai is now eating the rats themselves. In a scene accustom only to this season Jason is rather impressed himself when he catches one and wants so desperately for the favorites to like him, but I’m assuming no one ever told him that Amanda wrestled a shark to shore. Just so I’m somewhat incensed by this whole scene, Parvati calls him a loser during a camera interview. And she is in a position to deem who is a loser and a winner, being a foxy boxer grants you such privileges.

One thing that was almost clumsily good play was Parvati approaching Natalie about her and Alexis forming an alliance post-merge, but they do it in the most nauseatingly conceited way possible. Natalie looks like the girl that sleeps with her friends boyfriends when they’re hammered. And somewhat coincidentally, I imagine Parvati just sleeps with whomever is hammered, regardless of relationship status.

The question is, how many pictures can we find of Jason not staring at Eliza’s ass.

Kind of a peculiar decision by Malakal to have Alexis sit out the challenge, though it’s indicative of why they keep losing even with the superior camp life. I mean, the other team is “feasting” on rats while they have Ozzy pulling his “Lord of The Flies” impression out there and killing anything that breathes and is edible within a 300 yard radius. Some people have faulted them for not going with Jason given that he coaches gymnastics and all, but to be fair I’m not entirely certain they were aware of his history. Still, to go with Alexis, the girl who’s never talked or demonstrated any real challenge ferocity, regardless of what they assume it consists of, is flummoxing. It’s a shame they picked these two considering that during challenges there isn’t two people I’d rather be staring at. I mean Ozzy was obvious, he’s like Cirque de Soleil on Survivor, but Alexis? Why the resident eye candy left this season? Throw me a bone, Malakal. You fuck ups.

And the immunity challenge itself must have been a tough one for Malakal to endure, because had Ozzy been available it would have been a shoe in. The god overseeing this game for them is clearly a vengeful one. Maybe it’s positive karma for Airai after the Penner departure. During Malakal’s weekly failing, Ozzy and Alexis went looking for the idol. Alexis, because she’s genuinely without a clue, and Ozzy, because he wants to see if his bait is still fresh. Surely enough, it isn’t.

In the seemingly least effective strategic move in Survivor history, Erik approaches Amanda and Cirie about Ami’s back alley dalliances with some of the departed fans. He is being honest but comes across so unconvincing, which I always thought was impossible to do, but he is so eager to please. In this scene, Erik reminds me of the kid who would let you play with all his toys just so you’d hang out with him. It’s essentially ninety seconds of Amanda and Cirie failing to control their laughter.

Ami’s sneering fuck off towards Erik after she seemingly aligned with Amanda and Cirie was probably one of the more distasteful things of the series, and certainly of the season. Which in both instances is saying something. That’s like being the shortest keebler elf. But it does take some stones to be so condescending.

Given that it’s their forth tribal council everyone seems a little discouraged. Basically it devolves into Ami sobbing, then everyone trying to ascertain why she seems so isolated. Then everyone voting for her and not caring. Sorry Ami, while we appreciate your attempt at redemption, those tears only work for Hilary Clinton. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the above confrontation with Erik, we might feel differently. But it happened, so we don’t. It seems worth noting that when he was casting his vote, Erik says, “this game’s hell”. It might seem a little dramatic, but when someone is voted off, they do have to spend the next couple of weeks in what’s probably a secluded tropical island luxury resort. Brutal.

Pretty much a ho-hum episode but provided some oddly memorable moments. Which might say more about us than we’re willing to admit. New episode of this and The Office returns tonight. Enjoy!