Grid Effect

We are preempting our Survivor recap by a day because CBS is doing the same thing due to the NCAA tourney. Which, as a result, we’ll be taking Friday off because we’ll have nothing to write about (again) and potentially be nursing a hangover. Either way, this site is starting to feel redundant and we need a long weekend to watch basketball and forget about it.

Pre-credits scene, Erik is pontificating about the depths of the favorites sleaze. I guess he hasn’t been around long enough to be seasoned, but he is a fan allegedly, maybe one can’t fully grasp the betrayal until he is at ground zero of this game. Or maybe he’s just and idiot. Yeah, I think the latter is accurate. That’s pretty much it before the credits role.

Back from commercial at Malakal, Tracey and Chet are contemplating the decision to get rid of one of the fans. Tracey confronts Erik about the situation and is gun ho about getting one from their the favs to vote with them, and she’s right. She claims she had to do it because Chet wanted too and to make it this far in the game. After being approached, Ami appears to be considering the tribe switch, because everyone else from the favs was on her rival alliance in the original Malakal.

Over at Airai, Jon’s struggling with his leg, and James recognizes Penner’s contribution to the tribe and sorely wants to keep him around. And Eliza needs him as a member of their core alliance. It’s a great scene, James even adds his usual touch of misogyny, claiming to need Penner around so to avoid being the lone male tribe member.

At IC, the challenge consists of collecting materials in the water (Ozzy’s team wins) to build a blockade for the other team, then they have to plow through the blockade the other team built for them, first team to cross everyone through the blockade wins. They are playing for the natives words of wisdom. Penner can barely drag these blocks ten feet before he falls on his ass. Apparently they only have ten minutes to build the blockade. It’s a bunch of camera switches and quick hits, a few quotes here and there, it’s a good challenged but bad television. There is this really odd transition when they switch from building the blockade to tearing through their opponents.

Here’s the blockade’s that were being built, it’s such a ridiculous thing to describe I figured a visual interpretation would be much easier.

Cirie and Ozzy are crawling through for Malakal. And…Cirie? Really? They only need to move a couple planks? Airai is storming through the tunnel after falling behind and they end up winning in a landslide. Some big dense meathead might have been beneficial in this one. You know, to rip out all those strategically lodged wooden planks and such. Anyhow, Chet and Jason end up going to exile.

The medics take a look at Jon’s leg and ultimately decide he needs to go home, it’s pretty emotional and kind of epitomizes why I like the guy. At least three people in addition to Penner are reduced to tears. Hard to understand why he takes it so hard, but he came back for a reason and knew what he was getting into, which makes it all the more regrettable I suppose. He’s an actor, so melodrama probably comes natural to him, but when the options are compete for a million dollars and literally run the gamut of losing your life, the choice is kind of made for you. So long Penner, you deserved better.

On reward, Parvati asks one of the natives, it looks like the patriarch, if he is married, which seems a little forward but in character. It could have been idle small chat, but were jumping to conclusions that she totally wanted to sleep with this guy.

James laments Jon’s absence, apparently he needs his presence to deal with women and his diction is that of a confused fourteen year-old. It’s relatable though, most men would hate to be alone on an island with six different women.

Cirie over at Malakal is getting all elitist about having to deal with newbies, it’s really unpleasant. Ami takes her annoyance to Tracey, because frankly it is annoying as all hell. Why does she think she can’t be hassled? Ami and the fans seem to form an alliance and it makes me like Ami whose seemed non-existent up until now, all the more.

At exile, naturally Chet is just lying around on the island because of his leg and he believes Ozzy already has the idol. He would be right, but for all the wrong reasons. Jason finds the fake Ozzy-planted idol and goes on a long tangent about how great this development is for him. When he goes back to his old tribe, we’ll see if he isn’t informed otherwise before he has to play that pathetic looking thing. It’s seriously looks like something made by a boy scout, only if that boy scout was hammered at the time.

Apparently the natives are still on the island, showing them how to acquire food through the night and damn if it wasn’t beneficial. Will they actually be able to apply this newfound knowledge when the natives leave? I’m skeptical.

At IC, I guess, are they really sending two people home in one episode. Chet and Jason don’t really seem to mind too much. We here that he is doing alright. Probst inquires about the idol. Jason lies his ass off and says he assumes Ozzy has it (which he does, but he apparently doesn’t know that), and Ozzy lies his ass off saying he doesn’t.

IC consists of gathering really narrow platforms and carrying teammates from one balcony to the other, Airai uses only one of the platforms to take Eliza across with James holding the thing up and all the women and Jason balancing the thing. Probst expresses his adulation for James by name dropping him during all this, which seems a little too appreciative. Does he scream out his name when he cums as well? They get two people across the space before Malakal gets one and win before they even start with their second person.

Boy, it looks like voting out that lunkhead Joel might not have been the best decision. It’s like, when there is still over fifteen people, the best solution is to keep the tribe strong, thus avoiding losing too many tribemates. Not that Joel lived by that or anything (cough, Mary, cough, cough, Mike, cough). Oh well, at least we have a chance to see Cirie get booted.

Back at the now permanently defunct Malakal, they are discussing the newly dispatched Jonathan, who’s all better by the way. Chet decides to voluntarily leave because of some puss that may or may not be spreading on his heel. Tracey is a little bitter, considering she just got Ami to come over to their alliance and now this evens out their numbers once again. Tracey refuses to vote him, so Jason, Tracey and Ami all decide to vote for Ozzy when he’s least expecting it. And it is quite brilliant since he has to play it before the vote is read. Jason pours it on the convincing a little thick, and Chet does kind of owe the old broad for undeservedly saving his ass. Twice. We go to tribal not knowing which way this is going to swing.

At TC, Cirie reflects on Penner’s exit, and says if he could argue it down, he would have. At least she reflects on this pleasantly. Jason, for whatever reason, opens up about the idol and Ozzy’s supposed (and viewer known) immunity idol. Probst asks Ozzy about the vote tonight, and he goes all hyperbolic on us saying he would jump naked into the water should Chet not be voted out. And that if he (himself) was voted off, he doesn’t deserve to be there anyways. Chet has to counter with something along the lines of, “its never the person you think will go home”. Should raise some eyebrows since he all but forfeited back at camp. Ozzy votes for Chet, wishes his foot well, Ami apologizes to her vote and it’s left unseen, though the camera suggests she voted for Ozzy. The rest read as such after Ozzy does not play the idol:
Chet
Chet
Chet
Chet
Damn. They backed up on the Ozzy idea? Usually all those indicators of him not being voted out means precisely that he will. And what the fuck? People are defying Tracy’s wishes now. Oh, you will feel her wrath, and you will not enjoy a second of it. Their next vote should be very interesting. They have six people and a 3-3 alliance assuming Ami stays alongside Jason and Tracy. But I imagine she’ll wise up (for her own best interests, not mine) and go back to the other favorites that she seems to despise.

In his parting words, Chet is somehow proud of himself and considers himself part of the “Survivor family”. He thanks everyone for bringing him on and exposing all his vulnerabilities, which we all would appreciate, I’m sure.

Tonight: It looks like those lessons taught by the natives didn’t stick, as they refer to their situation as “torturous” and “savage”. So it would seem the favorites entire food supply in the past was a result of Ozzy. That’s essentially what I figured. Hey, as long as they keep winning challenges, they can keep living in squalor.

South Park review tomorrow.