Grid Effect

Since this episode was as conceivably boring as an episode of Survivor could be this late into a season, we’re just going to run through the remaining castaways and give a status assessment for each of them: Where they currently stand in the game, where they’re heading and their odds of actually winning.

Back in the day, you used to have to work for alpha-male status.

JT

Probably the easiest ride a Survivor has ever had to an F5 has been that of JT. His name’s never been written down, people willingly offer immunity to him out of sheer charm and not desperation (like Debbie this week, Brendan right before he was voted out and Taj), not to mention he’s always in contention for his own immunity at challenges. Right now, if he goes to the jury vote he is an absolute shoe-in because no one seems to blame him for their ouster, which is categorically insane. The only way we see him not winning is if there’s some huge twist or strategic play from Ben or Erinn, neither of which like each other and even if they did, they’re still outnumbered. Man,  if JT’s participation in Survivor has taught me anything, it’s always be aware of the affable southerner. I can see why Jack Donaghy was so concerned about Kenneth taking his job. Odds of winning: 1/2

Stephen

I was tempted to lump Stephen in the same paragraph with JT, but he’s actually had to work a little to get where he is. Stephen is undoubtedly the brains behind this operation (as evidenced by the Immunity Challenge and his preposterously geeky celebration afterwards), and has orchestrated the majority of the tribal councils to fit his interests. I would have no problem with Stephen winning, but if he goes to an F2 or F3 with JT, he doesn’t have a prayer. It’s a matter of whether or not he’ll be able to pull the trigger and get rid of JT when the opportunity arises and if you asked us three weeks ago we would have said yes, because he’s been so shrewd in every other manner of game play. But the clock is ticking and at this point I don’t think he’d have the numbers.  Odds of winning: 5/1

Taj

The lower ranking member of the now power alliance now finds herself in a precarious position if she wants it too be. She could either turncoat on Stephen and JT whom she knows she has no shot of beating, and align with Erinn and Ben and she would probably end up winning. Of course, we know this won’t happen, she’s been blindly loyal all the way through the F3, even when she had the opportunity to side with Brendan (even though Brendan was also under the impression he was siding with Stephen and JT). If the reward “challenge” was any indication, she seems to have everyone’s adulation, but that rarely puts you in the driver’s seat to win the game. Especially when you have more money than everyone else combined times ten. Odds of winning: 50/1

Erinn

We’re not certain when you got so comfortably in the alliance with JT, Stephen and Taj, but I think this is the first time we’ve ever seen someone go into the merge with no alliances and actually benefit from it. It seemed like since she was carrying the least amount of baggage, once they got down to 8, Stephen and JT decided to align with her to minimize their numbers and get rid of the people that are threatening to them. This is both complimentary and insulting to Erinn, but we’re still partial to her. If nothing else, she’s one of the better looking contestants we’ve seen on the show (she has Sydney covered in droves), and seems smart and capable, but it was a curse as much as it may have turned out to be a blessing being in Timbura. Odds of winning: 75/1.

Ben

Yeah, I’m not really sure what to say about Ben. At this point, he even looks like he knows he deluding himself; and the thing I most looking forward to next week is how he convinces himself that JT and Stephen made the right decision in voting out his closest ally. If it wasn’t for the blow up with Sierra last week we’d actually feel bad for th guy, but his strategizing is so ill-advised and poorly planned that he kind of made his own bed, and now has to lie in it. At the moment all he can hope for is there will be more balancing/concentrating oriented challenges, because the competition in those is fairly pedestrian amongst the other four castaways. But even if he immunities his way to a jury vote, he’s operating on a wish and a prayer. Of the current jury, maybe Tyson and Debbie would vote for him. And of the remaining four players, he is at the bottom of the totem poll. Odds of winning: 125/1

Debbie

For someone with such limited ability you had a good, no, scratch that, a great run. At one point they even considered you a strategic threat but unfortunately that led to your ouster. Still, F6 is about the best you can hope for when immunity is all but out of the question, you’re kind of a dweeb and you can’t read anyone over the age of 14. But you went out kind of unceremoniously, basically talking your way onto the jury by over-thinking out loud with two people you didn’t have much of a connection with. We didn’t hate you or necessarily like you, we were mostly just confused by your participation. Anyhow congrats on making yourself invisible on national television for as long as possible, a feat that few could accomplish. If nothing else, you were very magnanimous in defeat, which is something that we’ve been able to say for just about everyone this season.

Anyhow, this has been a puzzling session here in Tocantins. Outside of Stephen, JT and Taj everyone else who made it to the merge should feel like an idiot upon watching these last few episodes. They basically turned JT (and by extension Stephen) into the prettiest girl at the prom, and instead of aligning together to take out the distraction, they all vied for his affection and to no avail. He’s not your best friend despite what his wholesome smile and simple wit might lead you to believe. If you are ever so fortunate too return for a “all-stars” season we hope you all learned something from this, because we doubt JT has.

Back later with an Office recap.