Grid Effect

Since Sunday’s finale combined with the reunion reached three hours in length, I’m not going to do a play-by-play. This decision is for a couple reasons. One, it’s three hours long. Two, outside of a small percentage of the evening, much of it was fairly predictable. Mainly I want to discuss the Dreamz-Yau Man conundrum and the vapid bitterness that plagued the majority of the incoherent jury.

Yau won the seasonal maze challenge in the final five, leaving Boo the odd man out between himself, Yau, Dreamz, Earl and Cassandra. His ouster was predictable (though if he Yau had not won immunity, based on later events he might have been booted) and uneventful.

It wasn’t until the final four that things got interesting. The reward challenge was one of endurance and brute strength. The contestants were placed on these longated wooden boards hanging over a small pool of water, after every five minutes they increased the angle on of the board making it more difficult for the contestants to hold onto the bar placed directly above their heads. In addition, the contestants were being waterboarded, kind of.

If you were expecting suspense, you got it. The last two contestants hanging were Dreamz and Yau-Man. Yau was constantly glancing over at Dreamz for a look of reassurance like, “So, its all settled right?… This is all moot… Why the fuck are we still hanging in this misery? You insincere fuck.” All the while Yau is squirming to hang tight while Dreamz is uneffected. Eventually, Yau falls so now Dreamz has to contemplate whether he’s going to own up to his end of the agreement: car for potential immunity.

One thing that’s lost on me with this issue, is I thought since Probst oversaw the agreement (narrating and confirming the terms after Yau had won), that it was vrbally binding. I suppose that wouldn’t produce as much drama if they took the decision out of the hands of the players, but shouldn’t Yau have some sort of insurance for such a tentative deal? Apparently not.

For about the next twenty minutes we are privy to Dreamz pontificating about how honorable he is, and being so as a result of his kids. Which, I have been supporting his success in this game, but does he really strike anyone as a stable father figure? Kids raising kids, kid. I feel like I’m watching the fourth season of The Wire all over again.

There is also the ceremonial practice of collecting long wooden planks that represent each eliminated contestant up until this point. It is unbearably long, as the scene always is. I never time it, so I cannot figure out if it is actually as long as it seems, or if my patience for sentimental reflection on people they were momentarily acquainted with (very few exceptions) is extremely short.

By the time we get to Tribal Council my interest has almost diminished after an hour or so of senseless cannon fodder. For the most part, Yau-Man and Dreamz get a Probst probe on their deal. Dreamz, still fairly defiant that he will give Yau immunity, but you can see him wavering a little bit. Yau looks skeptical, but doesn’t make much of an effort to persuade Dreamz. He is putting way too much good faith in someone who has voted off alliance members just because the mood struck him.

Dreamz contemplates…and contemplates…and contemplates…and opts to keep it. Mainly because he knows he’s going home should he give it up (he uses the rationale that he didn’t know it would be a three person final, but its cheap, tacky, irrelevant and comes off as such). And while it seems like one of the more immoral reality television moves I/you/we have ever seen, he was in something of a lose/lose situation. Especially as it pertains to public perception. If he hands over the idol he’s an idiot if he holds onto it he’s a scumbag. He opted for the latter. And while I would like too think he would demonstrate some honorability here (because he didn’t have a prayer of winning after withholding immunity), I am not surprised he didn’t. This is sort of the natural extension of what Jonathan was explaining at the end of last season: “It’s a game, there are no bad guys in Monopoly”.

The subsequent vote was probably more surprising than Dreamz’s decision to renege on their deal. Because I assumed Cassandra was a goner, or at least a tie was going to be forced. Never did I think Earl would vote for Yau, sending him home with a 3-1 vote. The three of them must have had an agreement to vote out Yau-Man because they believed him to be a lock to win the million should he go to the jury vote.

Cassandra, Dreamz and Earl reminisce on the last day at camp, while Dreamz is in denial over his inevitable guilt.

At the jury vote, things don’t really get interesting so much as they get disgusting. Michelle is sweet, and asks level-headed questions that pertain to their experience. Yau-Man, ever the dignitarian, is zen like in his approach, telling Dreamz that he shouldn’t have relied on him and that Dreamz didn’t make the mistake, he did…I think Dreamz might end up killing himself after this is all said and done. It’s one thing if you screw over Lisi or Stacy or Rocky or Alex or anyone of the like; their inherently dislikable people and no one really cares what you do to them (at least in the context of a reality show competition). But when you directly target someone of such respectability and later regret it; it stings.

Stacy simply asks Earl why she shouldn’t cast her vote out of need. He claims that they all need/could use a million dollars. Its a bullshit answer but the only plausible one considering the corner she talked him into.

Short of these three, everyone acts like a vindictive little prick. Some ask simple yet embittered questions, most of which are inconsequential. However, Lisi, Alex and Boo really tip the scales here. Boo is the least of it, but his religion oriented inquisition of Dreamz was pretty unnerving. Watching it, you get the impression that they discussed their shared faith at some point over the course of the season (I am guessing that faith is christianity, but I could be mistaken*). Like many others, however, I get a little uncomfortable when religion is intertwined with something as expendable as a reality show. And if it was something they had discussed in the past and Boo in some way feels betrayed as a result of this perceived shared faith, it would almost be plausible. But his rapture like intensity is what’s most disturbing. I was half-expecting him to break into Jules’ Winnfield mode and begin reciting scripture.

Lisi is just an awful human being. At least Stacy makes a concerted effort to veil her ugliness, Lisi is completely shameless. First, she gets up and drills Cassandra about her shoes. Apparently Lisi sees them as symbolic of Cassandra’s poor play and her unworthiness of being in the final three. Cassandra and I are perplexed. Neither of us know what the hell she is talking about.

Then she goes after Dreamz in one of the most shallow and misinformed approaches possible. Apparently Lisi, unlike the majority of humanity, is contemptuous of Dreamz’s past homeslessness as opposed to sympathetic to it. She mocks his supposedly poor education and intelligence when she asks, “How many zeroes are there in a million?” When Dreamz flatly answers, “six”, she looks over at the rest of the jury, flummoxed. And I really couldn’t tell if she’s feigning surprise because she thinks Dreamz is an idiot or she thought six wasn’t the right answer. Apparently Dreamz throught the former (though I’m unconvinced) and responds, “what do you think I’m an idiot?” Her attack on Earl is much less hostile, but still ugly and in no way redeeming.

Then Alex. Wow, was this unfortunate. You may or may not have heard about his recent legal troubles, but let me just assure you that his berating of Cassandra ceertainly didn’t speak to his innocence. (I am not sure why, but Cassandra took a verbal beating during this Q & A. I guess it is either for being useless or riding coattails, but I am not sure why it is taken so personally). First he asks a question, then when she attempts to explain herself he overwhelms her with incessant screaming for her to “Stop Talking”. It is somewhat counter intuitive and Cassandra is too meek to stand up for herself. To say it’s disturbing doesn’t really do it justice.

Anyway, we go to the vote, they don’t show any of them… and then we segue with that awesome transition* from TC to the Ed Sullivan Theater. Jeff gets right to it and since it is so obvious, I am going to just tell you that Probst reads Earl’s name five straight times, meaning he wins. And then announces that Earl won in a unanimous vote. A Survivor first.

At the reunion, Rocky and Anthony is discussed, so is Gary, who if you cannot recall had to leave for medical reasons. Apparently to commemorate the experience he chose to get a gaudy tattoo on his left bicep of the the Survivor logo. Obviously the Dreamz-Yau Man deal dominates the conversation, Dreamz remains defiant that he never planned to concede immunity to Yau, and there are a few scattered “boo”’s amongst the audience.

In short, the reunion was pretty tame. If there’s something you found interesting that you want to discuss, then voice your displeasure in the comments section.

Next season takes place in China: a cold weather climate. For obvious reasons this is the first major US television series to be shot in the country in a long time (if not ever). Frankly, if I don’t see someone get taken out with a blow dart I am going to consider the season a disappointment.

Back tomorrow with the links.

*=Blatant sarcasm