Grid Effect

No more than four months ago we were tussling between what to watch and what to record amongst Mad Men, The Office, Survivor and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia on Thursday nights. A myriad of options that usually carried Colbert and Stewart into lunch the following day.

Now, with the onset of The Strike and the season’s ending for many of the above series’, we have a clean slate. Nothing we feel obligated nor compelled to tune into. So we figured Thursday’s would be a choice day for a “what’s on tonight” post. Just to illustrate the dearth of options we are left with.

East coast bias effects the time zones on this site as well as the BCS.

NBC

8pm: My Name Is Earl
Not much to say about this series that hasn’t already been said. We do tend to think it’s one of the more overrated comedies to come around in awhile, but they try their hand at some original material and maintain a decent Nielsen rating, so more power to them, even if the show has somehow made Jaime Pressly a “credible” actress.

8:30pm: The Office
The first half of one of the many much maligned hour long episodes this season, “Dunder Mifflin Infinity”, where Ryan lays out his plan to modernize the fledging paper company. Which might not be a terrible idea, Sterling Cooper isn’t as behind the times as Dunder-Mifflin.

If the writers and producers could meet this degree of maturity, we might be watching a new episode tonight.

9pm: Celebrity Apprentice
Have yet to watch a millisecond of this, but all I can tell you is that Lennox Lewis, Gene Simmons and Jennie Finch are all on this…And that is probably the most depressing thing I’ve ever written on this site. Three people who were all great at one thing or another clinging desperately to a semblance of fame. Kind of reminds me of this.

10pm: ER
Yep, hasn’t been canceled since the last time we did this segment.

ABC

8pm: Ugly Betty
So a girl who’s aesthetically pedestrian according to the fashion world earns everyone’s respect through her adorableness and persistent work ethic? Is that the premise of this series? Because if so, then the consumers of such a lie need a reality check. Has anyone seen the Ali G episode where Bruno interviews several designers and critics during fashion week in New York? Yeah, those people aren’t exactly open-minded.

9pm: Grey’s Anatomy
The series that probably keeps us motivated to stay single! Seriously, watching this show makes me fret for humanity. It’s like going into a strip club, except with the exact opposite target audience.

10pm: Big Shots
It’s back! The canceled series is going to air the rest of there vaulted episodes. This is good for anyone who finds emasculated, whiny, rich, white men or ball busting peripheral female characters appealing. It’s like Cashmere Mafia except the ball busting women are the series’ focus. Is there a point in time where people will stop greenlighting this redundant tripe?

FOX

8pm: Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?
This is a reality show racing to see which is the more exploited demographic: the “genius” kids because they’re probably on the show against their will, or the moronic “adults” who are competing against kids who want nothing to do with this spectacle. My guess is the adults, because if you fail miserably on this show it’s something that you die with people remembering. The kids? Well, they have several years of therapy to look forward too, but that’s more a result of negligent parenting than anything else.

9pm: Don’t Forget The Lyrics
Haha, oh man. People attempting to remember the lyrics of some pop songs, and when they inevitably fuck it up they get mocked out by Wayne Brady and the pathetic live audience. Whew, what a hoot!

CBS

8-11pm: Without A Trace, CSI, Without A Trace
Do not have the time nor patience to mock the same show twice, or three times really. So we’ll just let clumping them altogether in the same category speak for itself. If you can give me one thematic or narrative difference between these two series’, then we will apologize profusely. But as our understanding is now this is like watching two Adam Sandler movies, then rewatching the former.

Okay, so television series’ have taken a hit recently. Still there is plenty of basketball to be watched and a litany of good to great movies out. We recommend one of these alternatives until the WGA and the studios make some progress.

Wire and FNL recaps tomorrow.