Grid Effect

Were back from the weekend, finally. And I have to tell you, nothing sucked the life out of me quite like that Oscar blog. I’ve lived a relatively charmed life, so when I say that’s the closest I’ve been to any sort of torture, you know I’m being serious. It’s about what I imagine being an Al-Qaeda detainee is like, except for the longterm physical abuse and potential death. But it was bad enough that we couldn’t bring ourselves to post yesterday without a specific topic, which we seldom have nowadays.

So here are a few links, the first three days of the week are turning into a mini-preseason. We gear up for writing about Survivor and The Wire by reusing and rehashing the same tired gimmicks over and over again. And though we feel as if we’ve perfected these gimmicks about a year ago, there still might be some benefit in this repetition. Not really, but that’s how we kid ourselves, and we’ll be damned if anyone can take that away from us.

The Oscar’s had their lowest rating since the inception of ratings. “Only” 32 million people tuned in, and while it’s the lowest rating since 1974, the fact that they got 32 million people to watch that tripe is impressive. How often do 32 million people ever do anything simultaneously?

If you’re looking for an endless amount of HBO teasers, well, look no further. It appears the cable network has fully embraced the glory of new media by creating their own youtube page. This is the perfect way for them to lure in non-subscribers to pay for something they probably can’t afford.

Few non-murderers/rapists disgust me more than Heather Mills, and the fact she can actually make me care about her either way I suppose is why she keeps being rewarded for her contribution to the downfall of humanity. Yes, Ms. Mills is parlaying her barely a marriage to Beatles icon Paul McCartney into a cooking show. For the love of all that is holy can she please drop off the face of the Earth?

Prison Break is pulling a Nip Tuck and moving to Miami. Well, I hope they’re moving the fucking prison as well, since the premise of the series is that someone is breaking out of it. Didn’t they ever consider the idiocy of that title if it was going to last passed one season? This fuck-up just about embodies why we rarely watch network television.

NBC is picking up a series based on the classic novel, Robinson Crusoe. We read this book for college and the fucking thing might as well have been in hieroglphyics. If they keep the same diction, we’re probably going to sit this one out.

Isn’t there a more recent novel to base an island series off of? You know, like one written in the past 280 years.

You know there is no justice in the television industry when Women’s Murder Club and Lipstick Jungle are both extended while Friday Night Lights and Arrested Development get the ax. Oh well, we suppose there is a reason your television is often referred to as an “idiot box”.

We’re somewhat hesitant to post anything about a Wire episode before we do our recap and review of it on Friday (If you haven’t seen it yet this is a huge spoiler), but Michael K. Williams has said he wished the character had stayed in Puerto Rico. From a fan standpoint we tend to agree (even though we’re not supposed to like the guy), but we consider his downfall a privilege to watch.

Oh, this is why we don’t watch any primetime television: the broadcast networks apparently do not want me too. Or, at least that’s how I interpret the airwaves being overrun with “cougars”. For those completely turned off by contemporary nomenclature (I usually am, but am unfortunately in tune with it), a “cougar” is an older woman who sleeps with a significantly younger guy, the female equivalent to the older guy who has a trophy wife. The only time we’ve found this unique or interesting is in Weeds, and the woman is a widower.

Speaking of which, Weeds apparently shares a number of similarities with Breaking Bad, a series we kind of regret missing and now it is only enhanced.

That’s it for today, we’ll try to keep to fresh tomorrow. An essay of some sort, maybe. Probably not, but maybe.