Grid Effect

We’ve never done one of these for a Friday or Saturday night. One, because these two nights are generally where series’ go to die. Two, even if they weren’t, no one watches television on weekend nights, and if they do, the viewing preference tends to be either sports or film. And three, it’s rare if there are even series’ on any of the major channels, usually it’s some sort of variety show or a five year old movie. So doing a preview for that always seemed pointless, but that is where we are with this television blog. Willfully writing posts we know are pointless. And even more so than usual!

NBC

8pm: Most Outrageous Moments

We’ve commented on this series before, as we did not really understand the context. But it looks like it is the exact same format as America’s Funniest Home Videos with a more ambiguous title and wholesome show host. Not exactly our cup of tea, but we understand its mainstream appeal, few Americans find anything funnier than someone repeatedly being kicked in the groin. “Haha, he’ll never be able to bear children. It’s hilarious!”

9-11pm: Dateline

We’re not avid viewers of the magazine journalism series, but if you look at its webpage, it seems like the show’s sole reason for existence is to make you believe that everyone you see in public poses some imminent threat. To which I say: Good for them. We do not have nearly enough paranoia in this country. I’m just glad to see someone has taken up the cause of keeping us all on our toes.

ABC

8pm: AFV

Alright, this is actually an abbreviated acronym for America’s Funniest Home Videos. Why is it abbreviated? Well, because there is no “H” for home. Where did the “H” go, though? They probably did some market research that revealed that people do not respond kindly to the letter because it reminds them of “Hussein”, or people do not like four letter acronyms because they’re generally the territory of some fringe lobbyist group, like PETA.

Anyhow, the strike has brought us home video shows going head to head in a primetime slot. The ramifications of this are yet to be determined. We’ll have to wait a few years to see if this is a good thing that it’s at least done on a Friday night, or if it’s a bad thing that it’s taking place at all.

9pm: According To Jim

Back to back repeats on a Friday night….Well, it’s good to see our evening plans have been made for us. Few things are more rewarding on a warm Summer night in June than curling up on the couch to watch a full hour (with commercials!) of G-rated “That’s what she said” jokes.

10pm: 20/20

Outside of According To Jim, NBC and ABC are essentially mirror images of each other tonight. If I’m planning on watching any of this swill tonight, I’m going to NBC for my wacky “caught on camera” clip show, then heading over to ABC for the superior TV journalism, and that is despite my intense hatred for all things ABC.

FOX

8-10pm: White Chicks

One day they’ll look back and say, “those were the glory days”.

Wow, FOX isn’t even trying. I mean, they are mailing in an entire evening of subpar ratings with a subpar movie that no one watched when it came out. Get ready to be destroyed by According To Jim reruns. I mean, they could have at least sprung for Deuce Bigalow. It’s still tripe, but it’s tripe that drew a decent box office.

CBS

8-10pm: Ghost Whisperer

It appears Friday night in June is repeat night for the networks. Unless you’re doing hard-hitting journalism like investigating a murder that took place ten years ago, you are going into the vault. Speaking of Ghost Whisperer, we mentioned earlier that Friday night is where network series’ go to die, so is the Jennifer Lover Hewitt vehicle the longest running Friday night series of all time? It’s been about five years, has anything in recent history even come close without being moved to a more desirable slot? there’s a feather in your cap, Miss Hewitt.

10pm: Numbers

Yes, I’m aware the title has the number “3″ in place of the lowercase “e”. But we’re not quite willing to acknowledge that as part of the lexicon. Sorry Numbers fans. Anyhow, we’re familiar with this series for one reason and one reason only, this is the series that pulled Diane Farr off of Rescue Me. The lone interesting (albeit often hypocritical) female character in the firehouse (or on the entire series, really). So fuck you, Numbers. Being on Friday night means you’re not long for this world and we couldn’t be any happier.

Those are your options for tonight. If you’re like most people, and you like to get out one night and stay in on the other during your weekends, we recommend getting out tonight, because tomorrow literally can’t be any worse.

Also, one quick note before parting ways, Alan Sepinwall’s second Wire recap has been posted. If you were a fan of the series, we strongly encourage reading not only this one, but all of them. As far as we know, no one has dissected the first season episode by episode. At least not in this detail. Enjoy.